RING RING, Buffy groaned. Who the hell was ringing at... she
looked...3.30am. And why wasn't mom answering. She stumbled out of bed,
picked up the phone. "Summers residence" "Oh Giles..." "Jenny's a what" "She
tried to...""You are OK" "Library, now!!! Can't it wait? Ohhh all right"
She stopped at her wardrobe. Always a difficult choice. Finding an outfit
she hadn't worn before. Good, a tasteful number in pink wool, carefully cut
and perfectly matching the taupe trousers which hugged the contours of a
body in a close but not fight hampering manner. And to top it all the
silliest ski hat she could find. Quick kiss for Mr Gordo, pick up Mister
Pointy and away.
Angelus watched as she left. Perfect. The trap was sprung. She would
encounter her closest friends, now all vampires, then when she lapsed into
despair, she would be his.
"Oh Giles, you must be feeling awful" were her first words as she
entered. "Gutted. Like when United beat Arsenal. I mean, ref was blind, it
was never offside." "Giles, you killed your girlfriend. OK, the thing that
killed your girlfriend, it has to be worse than whatever it was you were
talking about" He thought, frown lines on his brow. "No, about that bad, I
mean nowhere as bad as watching the England Cricket team. That is tragic."
Then he smiled. "But I have good news. I've found all your friends." She
looked bemused. "They were missing? " "Oh, didn't I tell you. Well be
seated. "
He continued. "You thought Willow Rosenberg had been called away to a
family bereavement. But no. Here she is, Willow. Oh, and Willow, your
parents are alive and recovering from severe anaemia" "Hi Buffy," the
redhead grinned. "I've got a new puppy" Then Giles spoke again, "Xander and
Cordelia, vanished without trace but now reunited. Big hand for the happy
couple" Buffy looked dumbfounded. Xander, trademark grin, sashaying down.
Cordelia, as they passed, she whispered, "Cordy, your lipstick's smudged"
She watched as the now crying Cordelia took her place. Giles carried on.
"I'm afraid Oz can't be with us tonight, but I'm sure he sends his regards."
At that moment a howl rent the air. "Oh, puppy's got out" Willow whispered
to Buffy. Before she could speak, Giles continued. "Joyce Summers, your
mother. No she wasn't with a client. She was with Willow. Joyce, come on
down." "Mom??" Joyce walked up to her "We need to talk.
Angel....you...sex..." Then she pulled back, smile on her face. And finally,
I'd like to make an confession to make." Behind the stacks Angelus smiled.
At last. This had been getting too much like 'This is your life.' Make it
dramatic he had told Giles. Not make it a damned get to know you show.
"I got you here by a deception Buffy. I told you that Jenny was vampire
but that I had staked her. Well I lied. Here she is, my bride to be, Jenny
Calendar." Buffy laughed. "Nice marriage proposal. And you had me going
about her being a vampire. So convincing." Giles coughed. "Well, actually
that wasn't what I lied about. I lied about staking her" Buffy gasped. "So
she is.....and you....then she turned. Oh god all of you." She was met a
sea of grinning vampiric faces. "Sure am, kiddo" Xander's voice rose above
the hubbub. "Even you mom?" She sagged. Joyce nodded. "So they say. I can
see problems with you being the Slayer and all. But I'm sure we can work it
out. Oh, by the way, how do you get blood out of clothes...? I mean bite
into someone, they're going to spurt all over the place. Oh, and is there
some way you can set the VCR to record Passions. The house is going to be a
bit too bright during the day."
Then Cordelia spoke "Buffy, we don't always agree, but you know how to
put on makeup in the dark. Any tips?" One by one, the vampires crowded
round. Finally Angelus had had enough. He leapt onto the makeshift stage,
crashing into a chair or two in the process. "Right Slayer, you are mine.
All your friends are vampires and together we shall defeat you. Right? "
Then again, "People, I didn't hear you" More silence, then Willow spoke.
"Look, I know you are our sire but...well...Buffy is our friend." He
staggered back. "What. You, we are vampires. We kill and feed off her kind."
She frowned. "Well we haven't killed anyone yet, have we ? Well not
permanently" She brightened. "Even my parents are alive" a pause, "and Oz is
free. And it's not like actually tortured him." Angelus grimaced. And it had
seemed like such a good idea.
There was a silence. Then laughter. From Buffy. "Good try, Angel."
before she broke down completely. Angelus drew himself up and thundered,
"You haven't heard the last of me" and proceeded to make a dramatic exit. A
clattering of chairs and books suggested not quite as imposing a one as
planned. "OOPS" Giles spoke "did I forget to tell him about the overspill
items."
Then Joyce stepped forward. "Right, it's dawn in an hour or so. We need
somewhere to stay. Buffy, I'd like to invite everybody home but I understand
I can't. Do you mind ? " Buffy looked. Her friends. Evil demons, but then it
wouldn't be the first time she'd befriended a vampire. "OK, do you all want
to come to my place?"
looked...3.30am. And why wasn't mom answering. She stumbled out of bed,
picked up the phone. "Summers residence" "Oh Giles..." "Jenny's a what" "She
tried to...""You are OK" "Library, now!!! Can't it wait? Ohhh all right"
She stopped at her wardrobe. Always a difficult choice. Finding an outfit
she hadn't worn before. Good, a tasteful number in pink wool, carefully cut
and perfectly matching the taupe trousers which hugged the contours of a
body in a close but not fight hampering manner. And to top it all the
silliest ski hat she could find. Quick kiss for Mr Gordo, pick up Mister
Pointy and away.
Angelus watched as she left. Perfect. The trap was sprung. She would
encounter her closest friends, now all vampires, then when she lapsed into
despair, she would be his.
"Oh Giles, you must be feeling awful" were her first words as she
entered. "Gutted. Like when United beat Arsenal. I mean, ref was blind, it
was never offside." "Giles, you killed your girlfriend. OK, the thing that
killed your girlfriend, it has to be worse than whatever it was you were
talking about" He thought, frown lines on his brow. "No, about that bad, I
mean nowhere as bad as watching the England Cricket team. That is tragic."
Then he smiled. "But I have good news. I've found all your friends." She
looked bemused. "They were missing? " "Oh, didn't I tell you. Well be
seated. "
He continued. "You thought Willow Rosenberg had been called away to a
family bereavement. But no. Here she is, Willow. Oh, and Willow, your
parents are alive and recovering from severe anaemia" "Hi Buffy," the
redhead grinned. "I've got a new puppy" Then Giles spoke again, "Xander and
Cordelia, vanished without trace but now reunited. Big hand for the happy
couple" Buffy looked dumbfounded. Xander, trademark grin, sashaying down.
Cordelia, as they passed, she whispered, "Cordy, your lipstick's smudged"
She watched as the now crying Cordelia took her place. Giles carried on.
"I'm afraid Oz can't be with us tonight, but I'm sure he sends his regards."
At that moment a howl rent the air. "Oh, puppy's got out" Willow whispered
to Buffy. Before she could speak, Giles continued. "Joyce Summers, your
mother. No she wasn't with a client. She was with Willow. Joyce, come on
down." "Mom??" Joyce walked up to her "We need to talk.
Angel....you...sex..." Then she pulled back, smile on her face. And finally,
I'd like to make an confession to make." Behind the stacks Angelus smiled.
At last. This had been getting too much like 'This is your life.' Make it
dramatic he had told Giles. Not make it a damned get to know you show.
"I got you here by a deception Buffy. I told you that Jenny was vampire
but that I had staked her. Well I lied. Here she is, my bride to be, Jenny
Calendar." Buffy laughed. "Nice marriage proposal. And you had me going
about her being a vampire. So convincing." Giles coughed. "Well, actually
that wasn't what I lied about. I lied about staking her" Buffy gasped. "So
she is.....and you....then she turned. Oh god all of you." She was met a
sea of grinning vampiric faces. "Sure am, kiddo" Xander's voice rose above
the hubbub. "Even you mom?" She sagged. Joyce nodded. "So they say. I can
see problems with you being the Slayer and all. But I'm sure we can work it
out. Oh, by the way, how do you get blood out of clothes...? I mean bite
into someone, they're going to spurt all over the place. Oh, and is there
some way you can set the VCR to record Passions. The house is going to be a
bit too bright during the day."
Then Cordelia spoke "Buffy, we don't always agree, but you know how to
put on makeup in the dark. Any tips?" One by one, the vampires crowded
round. Finally Angelus had had enough. He leapt onto the makeshift stage,
crashing into a chair or two in the process. "Right Slayer, you are mine.
All your friends are vampires and together we shall defeat you. Right? "
Then again, "People, I didn't hear you" More silence, then Willow spoke.
"Look, I know you are our sire but...well...Buffy is our friend." He
staggered back. "What. You, we are vampires. We kill and feed off her kind."
She frowned. "Well we haven't killed anyone yet, have we ? Well not
permanently" She brightened. "Even my parents are alive" a pause, "and Oz is
free. And it's not like actually tortured him." Angelus grimaced. And it had
seemed like such a good idea.
There was a silence. Then laughter. From Buffy. "Good try, Angel."
before she broke down completely. Angelus drew himself up and thundered,
"You haven't heard the last of me" and proceeded to make a dramatic exit. A
clattering of chairs and books suggested not quite as imposing a one as
planned. "OOPS" Giles spoke "did I forget to tell him about the overspill
items."
Then Joyce stepped forward. "Right, it's dawn in an hour or so. We need
somewhere to stay. Buffy, I'd like to invite everybody home but I understand
I can't. Do you mind ? " Buffy looked. Her friends. Evil demons, but then it
wouldn't be the first time she'd befriended a vampire. "OK, do you all want
to come to my place?"