After a night of troubled sleep, Wesley woke up with a stronger resolve.
He said to himself that if any of the others came to ask for his help, he
would give it, but he was not going to intervene and further tangle himself
in the mess. Even so, he wished to know the truth and decided to pay a
visit to Justine.
Before he left, the phone rang. He left it ringing for a while, until he grew too curious.
"Hey, Wes." It was Lilah. "I hope you're not busy. No, of course you're not, how could I forgot."
"What do you want?" His tone was bored, she wasn't buying into it.
"That's nice, how about 'thanks for a lovely evening'?"
"What do you want? I'm not joining you to fight against Angel, I doubt he's a threat to you any longer." Wesley almost regretted these words. Almost...
"Really?" she sounded impressed, "did you kill the bastard? Didn't think you had it in you..."
"No, are we done yet?"
"We're only just getting started."
"Well I'm done." With that, he hung up the phone. Satisfied with himself, he grabbed his jacket and headed for the door, only to find Lilah waiting for him on the doorstep.
"Didn't think you could get rid of me that easily did you?" She smiled at him.
"Frankly, I don't care."
"Tell me more about Angel. "
"Get over him, there are other things to life, you know."
"I suppose you're living proof of that, with all the joy that you're experiencing now that he wants nothing to do with you." Wesley said nothing, he simply stared past Lilah. "You were going out? Don't let me keep you, I'm sure whatever it is you have to do is quite important."
Before she had finished talking, Wesley had already left. He took off on foot, instinctively keeping to the shadows that now defined his life. He made his way to the small apartment where he knew Justine was staying. It was clear to Wesley that confronting Justine would not be easy. She was practically a slayer. This was one of the last places Wesley wanted to be, but he felt that he had to do something, he was the only one that could help right now.
Instead of knocking, Wesley simply took a deep breath and kicked down the dor to the apartment. Expecting Justine to pounce on him at any moment, he leaped into the room with a crossbow in his hand. True to her nature, Justine responded readily to the attack, but Wesley had had the surprise advantage. With a single blow he knocked her over and she lay motionless on the floor. He knew that he had not hit her hard enough for her to be unconscious, he would no longer be fooled by her tricks.
"Get up!" Wesley pointed the crossbow at her. She did not make any effort to get up, she simply turned to look at Wesley.
"Just shoot me, go ahead."
"You don't think I would?"
"I know you would, I deserve it after all I've done." She looked, helplessly at Wesley. He swore to himself that he would not fall for it.
"Don't play games with me."
She sat up. "I've stopped playing games. I've lost everything good that I ever had to the evils of this world, it's finally getting to me. I don't want to fight anymore, I've achieved nothing."
"Joining forces with Holtz was not battling evil, he fought a personal war of his own." Wesley had not missed the flash of pain across Justine's face at the mention of his name, a brief flash that was gone in an instant and replaced with a scowl.
"Are you saying that the crimes of Angelus were not evil? He's a vampire, a threat to humans, no matter what his 'mission' is."
"Angel is paying for his crimes, working for redemption, helping the helpless."
She rolled her eyes, "don't feed me that bullshit, I've heard it all before."
"Well maybe you should listen. Angel is a good man."
"A man? I don't think so. And he's not exactly been good to you, or so I hear." She knew that she had hit a sore spot. She used Wesley's hesitation to her advantage and made her move. Before he realised what was happening, she had grabbed the weapon from his hand and it was now pointed at his neck. "You're stronger than I had first thought. You survived your first neck wound, I wonder what will happen with the second..."
Wesley said nothing, he did not move.
"Why aren't you begging for your life? you really don't care, do you? whether you live or die, I mean. I didn't, right after I killed Holtz. I thought about ending it all, right there, but I had to respect his wishes."
"You killed Holtz?" Wesley was stunned. He had been suspicious, but he had not thought she could have done such a thing.
"Well, yes, had to, just like now I have to kill you."
She clicked the release on the crossbow, just as she heard a voice behind her, "I don't think so." Steven's slender frame darted towards her and removed her weapon, leaving her stunned. Wesley seized the opportunity to grab her.
"You killed my father? how could you."
She made no effort to deny it, she no longer cared. "It was what he wanted, it was his final act of vengance, knowing that you would believe it was Angelus."
"No, you lie. He loved me, he would not do that." Steven refused to believe that Holtz's hate for the vampire could be more important than his love for his son.
Wesley dropped Justine and turned to go. He no longer cared for the situation, there were too many feelings of betrayal, hate, love and deceit. He could not stand to look at Justine, think of what she had done, how the evil in the world had made her what she was. He did not think that her soul could be saved and he did not want to try and help her. It made him sick because the same thing was happening to him, his good deeds turned sour on him and he could only feel pain and dispair.
The others let him go, they watched the dejected man leave with his head hung low and the sight would have moved them if they had not been caught up in their own feelings. This was far from over.
***
Cordelia had only just stepped out of the room when she was called back in.
The blue creature greeted her once again. "Cordelia, we have been discussing you."
"But I was only gone, like, two seconds." she was puzzled.
"Time has no relevance here. It would not do to keep you waiting."
"Right, I'll remember that. Higher being. higher place. Can you give me some answers now at least?"
"I can only do my best." she smiled.
"What will happen to Angel? He needs my visions..."
"I cannot-" She was interrupted by her male companion, who Cordelia had not noticed in her impatience.
"The champion is no longer your concern, nor is he ours."
"He's dead?" Cordelia choked.
"No, I'm sorry, I misled you. He does not need the visions, he does not fight any more. You are continuiing the fight." He nodded to Cordelia. "You have made a wise decision."
"Something has happened," she cried, "you have to send me back!"
"You cannot do anything," the creature insisted, more firmly this time. "You are more important now."
"I love him." she wept.
"You cannot let love get in the way of the fight against evil. There is no time for feelings here."
"But you said time is not important."
"Time may not be relevant here, but it is essential. It represents the cycle, continuity. We cannot pause the battle."
"I get it, I really do, it's just so hard. Will it get any easier?" She sat down again and closed her eyes.
"It does not, the fight is always difficult, you haven't even begun yet. You will learn to accept it." They were glad to see that she had accepted her mission in her mind and had begun to understand what she was doing. What lay ahead was still unclear...
Before he left, the phone rang. He left it ringing for a while, until he grew too curious.
"Hey, Wes." It was Lilah. "I hope you're not busy. No, of course you're not, how could I forgot."
"What do you want?" His tone was bored, she wasn't buying into it.
"That's nice, how about 'thanks for a lovely evening'?"
"What do you want? I'm not joining you to fight against Angel, I doubt he's a threat to you any longer." Wesley almost regretted these words. Almost...
"Really?" she sounded impressed, "did you kill the bastard? Didn't think you had it in you..."
"No, are we done yet?"
"We're only just getting started."
"Well I'm done." With that, he hung up the phone. Satisfied with himself, he grabbed his jacket and headed for the door, only to find Lilah waiting for him on the doorstep.
"Didn't think you could get rid of me that easily did you?" She smiled at him.
"Frankly, I don't care."
"Tell me more about Angel. "
"Get over him, there are other things to life, you know."
"I suppose you're living proof of that, with all the joy that you're experiencing now that he wants nothing to do with you." Wesley said nothing, he simply stared past Lilah. "You were going out? Don't let me keep you, I'm sure whatever it is you have to do is quite important."
Before she had finished talking, Wesley had already left. He took off on foot, instinctively keeping to the shadows that now defined his life. He made his way to the small apartment where he knew Justine was staying. It was clear to Wesley that confronting Justine would not be easy. She was practically a slayer. This was one of the last places Wesley wanted to be, but he felt that he had to do something, he was the only one that could help right now.
Instead of knocking, Wesley simply took a deep breath and kicked down the dor to the apartment. Expecting Justine to pounce on him at any moment, he leaped into the room with a crossbow in his hand. True to her nature, Justine responded readily to the attack, but Wesley had had the surprise advantage. With a single blow he knocked her over and she lay motionless on the floor. He knew that he had not hit her hard enough for her to be unconscious, he would no longer be fooled by her tricks.
"Get up!" Wesley pointed the crossbow at her. She did not make any effort to get up, she simply turned to look at Wesley.
"Just shoot me, go ahead."
"You don't think I would?"
"I know you would, I deserve it after all I've done." She looked, helplessly at Wesley. He swore to himself that he would not fall for it.
"Don't play games with me."
She sat up. "I've stopped playing games. I've lost everything good that I ever had to the evils of this world, it's finally getting to me. I don't want to fight anymore, I've achieved nothing."
"Joining forces with Holtz was not battling evil, he fought a personal war of his own." Wesley had not missed the flash of pain across Justine's face at the mention of his name, a brief flash that was gone in an instant and replaced with a scowl.
"Are you saying that the crimes of Angelus were not evil? He's a vampire, a threat to humans, no matter what his 'mission' is."
"Angel is paying for his crimes, working for redemption, helping the helpless."
She rolled her eyes, "don't feed me that bullshit, I've heard it all before."
"Well maybe you should listen. Angel is a good man."
"A man? I don't think so. And he's not exactly been good to you, or so I hear." She knew that she had hit a sore spot. She used Wesley's hesitation to her advantage and made her move. Before he realised what was happening, she had grabbed the weapon from his hand and it was now pointed at his neck. "You're stronger than I had first thought. You survived your first neck wound, I wonder what will happen with the second..."
Wesley said nothing, he did not move.
"Why aren't you begging for your life? you really don't care, do you? whether you live or die, I mean. I didn't, right after I killed Holtz. I thought about ending it all, right there, but I had to respect his wishes."
"You killed Holtz?" Wesley was stunned. He had been suspicious, but he had not thought she could have done such a thing.
"Well, yes, had to, just like now I have to kill you."
She clicked the release on the crossbow, just as she heard a voice behind her, "I don't think so." Steven's slender frame darted towards her and removed her weapon, leaving her stunned. Wesley seized the opportunity to grab her.
"You killed my father? how could you."
She made no effort to deny it, she no longer cared. "It was what he wanted, it was his final act of vengance, knowing that you would believe it was Angelus."
"No, you lie. He loved me, he would not do that." Steven refused to believe that Holtz's hate for the vampire could be more important than his love for his son.
Wesley dropped Justine and turned to go. He no longer cared for the situation, there were too many feelings of betrayal, hate, love and deceit. He could not stand to look at Justine, think of what she had done, how the evil in the world had made her what she was. He did not think that her soul could be saved and he did not want to try and help her. It made him sick because the same thing was happening to him, his good deeds turned sour on him and he could only feel pain and dispair.
The others let him go, they watched the dejected man leave with his head hung low and the sight would have moved them if they had not been caught up in their own feelings. This was far from over.
***
Cordelia had only just stepped out of the room when she was called back in.
The blue creature greeted her once again. "Cordelia, we have been discussing you."
"But I was only gone, like, two seconds." she was puzzled.
"Time has no relevance here. It would not do to keep you waiting."
"Right, I'll remember that. Higher being. higher place. Can you give me some answers now at least?"
"I can only do my best." she smiled.
"What will happen to Angel? He needs my visions..."
"I cannot-" She was interrupted by her male companion, who Cordelia had not noticed in her impatience.
"The champion is no longer your concern, nor is he ours."
"He's dead?" Cordelia choked.
"No, I'm sorry, I misled you. He does not need the visions, he does not fight any more. You are continuiing the fight." He nodded to Cordelia. "You have made a wise decision."
"Something has happened," she cried, "you have to send me back!"
"You cannot do anything," the creature insisted, more firmly this time. "You are more important now."
"I love him." she wept.
"You cannot let love get in the way of the fight against evil. There is no time for feelings here."
"But you said time is not important."
"Time may not be relevant here, but it is essential. It represents the cycle, continuity. We cannot pause the battle."
"I get it, I really do, it's just so hard. Will it get any easier?" She sat down again and closed her eyes.
"It does not, the fight is always difficult, you haven't even begun yet. You will learn to accept it." They were glad to see that she had accepted her mission in her mind and had begun to understand what she was doing. What lay ahead was still unclear...