Part 10: Closure
Fred had gone upstairs to tend to the still unconscious man from the vision, leaving Cordelia and Angel with the client. Cordelia wanted to keep Angel busy, to give him something to do to take his mind off other matters. At first he had resisted, but she had told him that she would not let him go off and brood, instead of going after Wesley and Steven. Angel did not wish to challenge her and besides, he knew she was right. She kept him on track. She was always ready and able to deal with anything that came up, taking it in her stride. She could be strong for him when he needed it, and he loved her for it.
Inside, only she knew that it was a completely different story. Behind her solid front lay insecurities, fears and worries, just like inside everybody else. But the seer was not like everybody else, as she felt not only her own emotions, but those of others, who needed her help. Now she had discovered that she had some control over the visions, she was able to feel more clearly what people went through. She actually experienced things as if she was that particular person, and without the physical pain it was making it harder to draw the line between her own reality and that of others.
Right now, she could sense the depth of Angel's suffering without even trying to reach out and it overwhelmed her. It shook her just being near that much hurt. 'How can he live with all that pain?' she asked herself.
'Because he has to. He has to make things right.' A voice spoke softly into her ear. She jumped slightly, she had not been expecting an answer. Looking over at Angel, she saw that he had not noticed anything. Excusing herself, Cordelia went and locked herself in the bathroom. She stared at herself in the mirror.
"I need answers..." she paused, waiting for the familiar voice of the creature. As she stood there, a blue form appeared in the mirror in front of her.
"We're always listening, you're not alone," the female assured her.
"That's good to know, but it doesn't always feel that way."
"Yes, it is hard, it can't be easy. You can talk to us anytime." Cordelia looked down at the floor. "But you want to talk to them."
"I don't like keeping secrets. They'll only hate me for it."
"You know it's for the best."
Cordelia understood. "They would be distracted from this mission, and Angel would do anything to stop me from leaving."
"Just be strong, you are doing well. Except you have to stop teleporting people. It's too risky, you have not learnt how to control it yet."
Cordelia thought about the man lying upstairs, unconscious. "What can I do to help him?"
"You can heal him."
"How?"
"Like you have before."
"You mean with Angel."
"Yes," the creature was preparing to leave. "Limit the use of your powers, while you cannot control them They can do harm as well as good."
Cordelia closed her eyes, wishing that she had been more careful than she had been. She took a deep breath and she reopened her eyes, once again she was alone. When Angel saw her emerge from the bathroom, he came over to talk to her.
Smile, Cordy, be strong. "Hey, did you talk things over? Find anything interesting about the case?"
"Not really. You know, Cordy, that guy smells funny." Angel looked worried.
"Since when do you have a problem with body odour? Maybe he has a medical condition," Cordelia suggested, mistaking his worry for disgust.
"No, I mean demon man upstairs smell."
"Oh right, that makes sense," she agreed. "With the whole stalking women thing. We'd better get Fred to check him out, too." Angel nodded and started walking towards the stairs. "No, wait, I'll go, you stay with him. Let's not let him know anything is wrong just yet."
Cordelia found Fred taking a sample of blood from the man. She approached Fred from behind as she stood next him. "Hey Fred." A normal person might have jumped, but Fred reacted only by grinning. Cordelia did not know whether it was due to having lived in a cave for years, or her natural scientific concentration. "How's it going? Any change?"
"He hasn't changed, as you can see. I've just been doing some tests, but nothing yet."
Cordelia smiled, grateful for her hard work. "I think we found you a new patient."
"That's great! Well obviously not for him, but it gives me more to work with. Who is it?"
"Well, it's not one hundred percent sure, but the client downstairs..."
"Oh, yes. I should have thought! He said he had never seen that stalker himself and I thought it was a bit strange. It adds up." Fred sighed. "I should have known. How did you find out?"
"Angel could smell it."
"Handy skill."
"Yeah, kind of freaky, though. Imagine all the things he can smell on all of us..."
"Sure," they both laughed weakly. There was a short silence before Fred announced, "I'd better go down and see him. What are we going to say to him?"
"Maybe it's best not to tell him what we think just yet, in case we're wrong."
"I'll need to examine him though, get a blood or urine sample probably."
"I guess you'll have to let him know then," Cordelia nodded encouragingly, "be gently, it can't be easy to find out you might be a demon."
"You're not..." Fred was puzzled.
"No, I'd better stay here, in case he wakes up," she pulled up a chair next to the bed.
"I don't think I've ever seen anything like this before. There doesn't seem to be a thing wrong with him. His body is responding, but he seems to be in a deep sleep."
"I'll keep him company anyway. Maybe he can hear us."
"I guess we just never know who is hearing us... or smelling us. Anyway, I'd better go."
"Yeah, hope you find something." Cordelia sat on the chair next to the bed, waiting until Fred was gone. Just as she had with Angel, she began to empty her mind of thoughts and concentrate on his healing. Closing her eyes, she placed one hand on his forehead and held his hand with the other. She was uncertain how long she sat there, after a certain amount of time she heard a noise. It sounded like someone was calling out to her from far away. The voice grew louder as she slowly regained her normal state of mind and opened her eyes.
Angel was staring right at her, on the other side of the bed. "Cordelia, what are you doing?" he asked curiously.
"Angel... don't worry. It's fine."
"That was scary, Cordelia. I was calling you and you didn't even move. It's like you weren't really here." Angel did look worried.
"Yeah... I was concentrating on something else. What are you doing here anyway?"
"Well, you've been up here alone for an hour..."
"Wow, an hour? Really? I didn't think... I guess I wasn't really here."
Angel was concerned, "this doesn't sound good. You're exploring new powers on your own, it could be dangerous."
"I know what I'm doing."
"Really? You've tried this before? On who." She just stared at him, until he realised. "On me?"
"It worked out just fine didn't it?" She smiled up at him. "Now, what did we find out about the demon?"
"Don't you think we should discuss this?"
"There's nothing to discuss," she brushed him off. "Fill me in."
He stared at her for a few seconds, before letting it go. "Obviously, he didn't take it well. He refused to believe it, then realised it made sense. He's downstairs freaking out still."
"Maybe I should try talking to him. I'll try again with this guy later." Angel did not seem to approve of that idea, but he let her go.
Cordelia found the frantic man pacing around the lobby, firing a multitude of questions at Fred and Gunn. They looked uncomfortable with it, because they truly could not answer him properly. Cordelia approached Gunn. "Did you find anything?"
"Nope, nothing to report," Gunn responded apologetically.
"Fred?"
"Still working on it."
"Good, you're doing a good job, keep at it. Gunn, you think you could look through the books, now that you have seen what the creature looks like?"
He nodded. "I'll do what I can."
"Great. I'll try to talk to him." She approached the man, who stopped pacing when he saw her walking towards him. "Hi."
"Hello. Cordelia, right? I'm Barry. Most of the time anyway." Cordelia was glad to see that he could joke about his situation, it meant that he was starting to accept it. "You know what's happening to me, right? You can help? You can stop it? Do you think I killed people?"
"Hey, calm down. I can not answer all of your questions, especially all at once. You're in good hands, though, we're working on finding out exactly what this is."
"And then you can change me back? I don't want to be a demon for the rest of my life." Barry was about to start pacing again, but Cordelia put a hand on his arm.
"All demons aren't that bad. I'm not."
"You're a demon?" he found it hard to believe.
"You bet. And I work for the good guys."
"So I could be a good demon too?"
"If you control it. I had a friend in high school who was a werewolf. He just locked himself in a cage three days a month and everyone was fine."
"There are werewolves too? I don't think I'll ever go out again."
"Sure you will, people like us work to make it safe."
Barry went to sit down. In the last hour, he had absorbed more information about the supernatural than most people did in their lifetimes. It was a lot, but he had taken it all in quite well, Cordelia thought. She had seen a whole new side to the smart, composed man that had first arrived at the hotel. People do surprise you sometimes. She thought back to Wesley and how much he had changed recently. She could still feel his pain after touching him hours before. It was plain to her that she had to do something, even if it was just to dig deeper and find out exactly what had happened.
Her thoughts were interrupted by Fred, who was calling for Barry to come over. The two of them walked over to where Fred had set up her things. "What medication are you taking?" she asked. "I found traces of something in your blood. If I know what it is, it will make the process easier."
Barry looked uncomfortable, "well, I'm taking a new thing my doctor prescribed, to..." he blushed, they were all staring at him. "... To increase my performance, to boost energy," he finished quietly. They others looked away, not knowing what to say. Fred went back to work and nobody spoke for a while. Minutes later she made another discovery. The others jumped when she spoke suddenly.
"I'm finding traces of the same medication in the blood of the other demon. It can't be a coincidence."
Cordelia began to understand. "Yes, the demon thing has to be some sort of side-effect of the drug. There was a definite 'vibe' coming from that other demon guy."
"You mean when he was checking you out?" Gunn grinned.
"So you're saying I'm some kind of horny demon?" Barry looked horrified.
"Quite literally too," Cordelia nodded.
"Oh God, I have horns?" he looked even more horrified.
"You'd better give us the address of your doctor. Angel and I can go check it out. It's just gone dark. Gunn, can you stay with the guy upstairs? Fred, continue research and call us with any information you find." They both nodded, used to her being the boss. "Barry, shouldn't you go home to your wife?"
"No, I don't want to be a danger to anyone. Plus, she's away on vacation right now, hiding from the stalker. From me. If it's in the drugs, it will wear off, right?"
"It should do," Fred was hopeful. "You want to help with the research? It will make things faster."
"Sure, point me to the books." It was unusual to see the client helping in such a way, but the help was nice. They had no time to appreciate the situation further, they set into action. Once they had the address and Gunn had gone to replace Angel, the two of them set off in his car.
"How did my car get back here anyway?" he wondered.
"I think Fred drove it back after they found it."
"You mean, you didn't..." she realised that she had just admitted that she had never shown up that night.
"I... I had to think things through. I wasn't as ready as I thought I was."
"Are you ready now?"
"No," she said weakly.
"Will you ever be?" when she didn't reply, he continued. "You look different, almost sad."
"I'm going through a few changes." Understatement of the year, she added mentally.
"Me too. I love you." He breathed deeply and unnecessarily.
"I..." she choked.
"Talk to me, Cor."
"I'm sorry, I can't right now. Give me some time. We need to stay focused on what we're doing." She turned away from him and stared out as they made their way through the streets. Angel said nothing, he closed himself off and she could no longer feel the emotion pouring off him. He was hurting, she knew, and she hated being the cause of that. Still, she was glad he did not push further and respected her wishes to have more time. In fact, she did not need any time at all, she knew exactly how she felt and what she wanted. The time when she would be 'ready' would be when she would have to leave again.
After a few minutes of silence they arrived at the doctor's office. They presumed he would still be there, as it had only just gone dark. Before they got out of the car, Cordelia's cell phone started ringing.
"Oh, hi Fred. Any info on what we're dealing with?"
"It seems that the demon-ness in the patients is caused by mixing the blood of the main beast into the medication. Killing him won't kill the demon in the others, but the effects will probably wear off, or we could create an antidote easily." Cordelia heard a faint 'thank God' in the background.
"That's great Fred. Anything else?"
"It would be good if you could bring back the doctor's notes and the patient list or find out from him."
"We'll see what we can do... yes... you too... bye." They both got out of the car and walk towards the office. She filled him in with the details on the way. When they arrived at the office, the door was unlocked but the waiting room was empty and the receptionist was preparing to go home.
"We're here to see Dr. Liston," Cordelia spoke to the woman.
"I'm sorry, you don't have an appointment. Would you like to schedule one for tomorrow?" she opened the book on her desk.
"Julie, it's okay. I'll see these people before I finish here." She didn't look too happy when he said that. "Don't worry, I don't need you here, you can go." She brightened up with this news. When she had left, Angel and Cordelia followed the doctor into his office. He had various diplomas adorning the walls, but no photos on the desk, Cordelia noticed. The doctor sat at his desk and the two of them occupied the chairs on the other side.
"You two look like you could use my help. Where did you hear about me?"
Angel made a move to protest what he was saying, but Cordelia nudged him and decided to follow the lead of the doctor. "We have some friends who recommended you. Barry and his wife."
"Oh, yes, of course. What exactly is the problem?"
Cordelia continued, "well, the attraction is definitely there..." Angel looked at her curiously.
"But we're unable..." Angel attempted to continue.
"He's unable to do it," she corrected.
"Often it stems from both partners."
"Oh, it's definitely him." Angel glared, uncomfortable with what was being said.
"So it's a physical problem. I should think I will be able to help. If you call tomorrow, you can make an appointment."
"That's great, right Angel?"
"How exactly does it work?"
"We can discuss it all tomorrow. I don't really have the time now." The doctor began sorting through the files on his desk. As they stood up, Cordelia's scarf fell to the floor. Angel made a move to pick it up, but she shook her head slightly, telling him to leave it. They said their thank yous and made their way out of the office and down to the car. Once they were there, they began to discuss the doctor.
"There was definitely something wrong there," Cordelia started.
"I got a weird vibe, too. He seemed to want us to leave soon."
"You think he's doing something right now?"
"It's possible. We should probably go back."
"Hence the scarf. An excuse just in case everything is fine."
"Right, let's go."
"I think I should go alone, it's less obvious. I might be able to get him to talk to me too. I'll call you up if necessary." "No, I don't think it's a good idea. What if he tries something?"
"I can handle myself."
Their argument was interrupted by the ringing cell phone. Cordelia thrust it into Angel's hand and went back inside. Moments later she arrived at the doctor's office. The door was still unlocked, so she walked right into the waiting room. She knocked on the door of the office and immediately opened it without waiting for an answer. As she walked in, she witnessed the doctor turn into something else. His demon form was similar to that of the others, except he was much bigger, more horned and a lot more intelligent. There was a row of syringes on the desk, presumably for taking out the blood.
"I just forgot my scarf..." The creature took a step towards her. "Angel, I need your help."
This demon understood what she was saying and was also able to respond. "He's not going to hear you." But Angel had heard her, perfectly, all the way from outside. "Human women! So hopeless!"
"Hey, I might be a woman, but I'm not human and I am definitely not hopeless." He paused for a second before lunging at her. She responded with a blast of light, knocking him across the room. Angel arrived at that point, having ran all the way from the car.
"You came, I knew you would."
"Got your message. It looks like you've got this under control." Angel gestured to the demon in the corner, who was stirring.
"I didn't know what to do. Isn't he human?"
"He's got to be the main one, he's definitely not an innocent. He attacked you, so now we kill him."
"Did Fred say how?"
"Typical slice and dice." The demon was now on it's feet, but was still shaken from his trip across the room. This made Angel job easier. He drew his sword from inside his jacket. His opponent was unarmed, he only had his claws, which were nothing compared to Angel's battle skills. Angel retained the upper hand, although he received a few minor scratches. The fight was over soon enough and the demon lay slain on the ground.
"What are we going to do with the body?" Cordelia wondered, picking up her scarf, which she was annoyed to find had specks of blood on it.
"I guess we'll have to dispose of it somehow, we can't leave it here." He looked at Cordelia, who was now rooting through the office to find notes and patient records. She collected the relevant information and found a big sheet that had drops of paint on it, she guessed it was from when the room had been decorated. They wrapped the body in the sheet and Angel picked up the heavy weight.
"Can you manage?"
"Yeah, I got it," he strained under the weight. "It isn't too far." They struggled to the car, where Angel deposited the body in the back seat.
* * *
Later, back at the hotel, Fred had managed to piece together what had happened. Using the doctor's case-files and her research, she had worked out that the doctor was a demon who had regularly took the form of a human, to fit into their world. He had done for years, as he was a real doctor with real knowledge and credentials. "His reasons for doing what he did we can only guess at. He was probably lonely, because there was no-one else like him, and he wanted to create some sort of 'family' for himself."
Cordelia nodded, remembering the lack of photos in his office. "So he used his blood in the medication to transform the men who asked for his help." It was all making sense. "The only problem was, their demon forms were not linked to their human selves, so they were very different from him."
"Plus they had to keep taking the medication to transform, which means that they were not real demons at all." Fred added. "What happened to them was the opposite of the doctor. He was a demon taking on the appearance of a human, but they were humans taken over by a demon."
"Like vampires?" Gunn wondered.
Angel cringed at the comparison. "But for vampires, the human and the demon are linked. For these men, it was the beast that just took over."
"So it's like a werewolf then?" Cordelia suggested an analogy that was more appreciated.
They had relocated to the bedroom of the man who had recently woken up when Cordelia and Angel had arrived back. There had not been the need to explain everything to him and he remembered nothing, so they simply told him he has had an 'episode' probably due to the medication he was taking. He seemed fine, so Gunn was about to drive him home, after they found some clothes to wear. Fred went to call the other patients in the files, instructing them to stop taking the medication. The client had left, leaving them with a cheque, extremely relieved that he was not really a demon ('no offence meant to Cordelia') and that the stalker problem had been solved. Cordelia and Angel found themselves alone once again.
"I think we should tend to those wounds. To the bedroom!" Cordelia instructed, then blushed, realising what she had just said.
"Whatever you say!" Angel laughed.
The tension between them had lifted significantly, they could not stay without speaking for very long. They talked light-heartedly, but they knew the conversation would turn serious at some point.
Angel had already started healing, but she took care of his wounds anyway. He was not complaining, she insisted on taking care of him. He had a few scratches on his arms and a deeper cut on his chest that she thought needed her attention. "Take off your shirt," she told him. When he hesitated, she started doing it for him. "We've done this a million times before. It's just the same." But it was not the same, they both knew it. They both breathed deeply as she finished taking off his shirt and started to clean his wound. After she had finished dressing it and had cleared away the medical supplies, Cordelia was the first to speak. "How are you feeling?"
"Good. Better," he pointed to his chest. "You okay?"
"Me? Sure. I think I'm ready to talk now." Angel had not been expecting this and was slightly taken aback. "This is not easy, so I'm just going to come out right and say it." She sat on the bed next to him, he took her hand in his. "I'm in love with you. I have been for a while, but I didn't really realise it until recently, when Groo left. I could never love him, it's always been you." She stopped, noticing how happy he was. Her abilities to sense emotions made the positive feelings even more special and made it all worthwhile. His happiness was only going to make what was to come harder. "There's something I have to tell you, about me."
"Cordelia." His voice seemed urgent.
"What?"
Angel looked confused. Cordelia realised that the voice was speaking in her head, it was not Angel that had said her name. Why would they do this to her now, in the middle of this conversation? She did not stop to think about it, she had to get out to speak to them. "Angel, don't move. I'll be right back." She didn't give him a chance to react before she got up and sped out of the room, leaving him staring after her. As soon as she was out of the room, she was transported upwards, soon finding herself back in the blue room.
The female creature greeted her, she was alone. "So, you decided to tell him."
"I had to. I couldn't keep it from him. It won't get in the way of the mission," she assured her.
"I knew you would tell him. You don't need to justify yourself, I do understand. Your bond with Angel is special, you're lucky, not everyone finds that."
"What are you saying?"
"I'm saying that you deserve to fight alongside Angel. You deserve to keep the love that has grown between you. You are a great team."
"So this was all a test?"
"In a way, yes. Your future had not been written. Now, things are more clear."
"I can be with Angel?" Cordelia was finding it hard to believe.
"You can."
"What about the risks?"
"The risks keep you focused, stop you from losing the mission. It will be hard, but it always is. You know that by now."
"Yeah, I sure do." Cordelia realised that she was nervous. Before, she had 'known' that the relationship could not be, and now she had been told otherwise. She did not doubt his feelings for her, and she knew now that she loved him, but she was unsure about how things were going to turn out. She had doubts, but she realised that they best way to resolve them would be to talk them through with Angel. "I should go back. Are we done here?"
"For now, if you need no further answers."
"Just one more question. The something big you mentioned, was that it?"
"There is always something big coming, we need you down there. What you just did, that was nothing compared to what is to come."
She nodded, prepared to accept whatever was coming. "We'll be ready." After she spoke, she found herself on her way back down to earth, to the hotel. She arrived in the same place she had left, just as Angel opened his door.
"What is it, Cordy? What's so important?" Angel was slightly worried.
"What?" she was momentarily confused.
"You just rushed out."
"Oh, that, yes," she realised that no time had passed, she was back where she had started. "It's nothing, I thought I had to do something, but I was wrong. Sorry, never mind!" She wondered if he would leave it at that and forget about it. He gave her a strange look, she was acting a little crazy, but he accepted what she had said.
"You coming back inside?" he asked gently.
"Of course," she was starting to feel like a nervous teenager again. Things were going to be alright. Their lives were back on track. The two of them sat back down awkwardly on the bed.
"What was it that you were going to tell me?"
"I was going to tell you..." she answered slowly, trying to think what to say. She realised that he did not have to know about her leaving, as now she would be staying for a long time. "I'm scared, I don't know how things are going to work out."
"You mean the whole 'tragic farce' deal? Because we can work on that."
She had to laugh, becoming more relaxed in his presence. "I've had my share too, you know. Remember the demon spawn? Xander Harris... I couldn't even get things to work out with Groo... and he was like, the perfect boyfriend."
"Perfect? I guess perfect wasn't good enough for you..."
Cordelia shook her head, "Groo was too good. He gave me everything I wanted and I gave nothing in return. I ended up just hurting him."
"Are you saying you settled for less?" he asked with mock-hurt.
"I'm saying I fell in love with my best friend. That's more perfect than I could ever have imagined." She smiled up at him and he could not stop himself from grinning back.
"I've never had a best friend before, and I've never known anyone quite like you. You're special, you know that. How could you fall for an old, tortured soul like me?"
"How could I not?" She leaned over, running her hand along his face. This time, they were not possessed, they were in complete control of themselves, but there was definitely magic in the air as their lips met. They had been through so much already, but this was new. They explored each others mouths, starting gently and slowly building up with passion.
When they eventually pulled apart, Cordelia was breathing deeply. She stared into Angel's eyes and sighed contentedly. She could get used to this. They both lay back on the bed, wrapping their arms around each other. Neither of them wanted to ever move from this position, they were both so comfortable together. They lay there, not sleeping, not talking, but not needing anything more. The two of them were content with relaxing together, away from any worries hat existed in the real world. It was nice to just forget about all the bad things that had happened and absorb the love.
A long time passed before either of them moved. Cordelia was the first to attempt to disentangle herself, realising that it was late and she should go home. Angel growled softly when she tried to remove herself from his arms. He was already half asleep and had still not completely recovered from everything that had happened during the day. Realising that Cordelia intended on going home, Angel started to get up, offering to drive her. She pushed him back down, saying that she would be fine, and he would be better resting. He didn't want to argue with her and ruin their peace, so he lay back down, where she kissed him goodnight. She promised to return in the morning.
* * *
Cordelia had never intended on going straight to her apartment, she still had unfinished business. She had to speak to Wesley. Although she felt that she was betraying Angel in a way, she could not bear to know that another of her friends was in so much pain. Even though she knew what he had done, she also knew that he was a good person inside and he had to be saved before it was too late. She made her way to his apartment on foot, thinking things through as she went. Her family was finally coming back together, but they would not be happy without Connor and Wesley back, even if Angel did not realise that right now.
Wesley's apartment building drew into sight after a while, she had enjoyed her walk and was pleased with herself for not resorting to transporting herself through supernatural means. When she arrived at Wesley's door, she knocked several times, with no answer. She called out through the door, but there was no response. Sensing that something was wrong, she knew that she would have to go inside. Unlike Angel, she did not have to kick down the door, she could simply transport herself inside. Not knowing what to expect, she prepared to land herself into the apartment.
When she materialised a few seconds later, she saw the broken man staring straight at her from the couch. He did not even move when she appeared in front of him. Her first thought was that he was dead, but she saw him moving slightly. She then thought that he was drunk and in some sort of form of unconsciousness, but she saw no evidence to support that theory.
"Wesley?" she asked tentatively. "Are you okay?"
"Mmm," was the only response. At least he was reacting to her, she thought.
"Wesley!" she walked over to him. "Wesley, talk to me." She shook him.
"Why would you want to talk to me?" the self-pity in his voice made her melt. "I'm a bad person, I just bring about bad things."
"Wesley, that is not true." She refused to let him retreat into himself, scared that he would harm himself in such a way. "You just had some bad luck. But I know you, you're a good man, you can get through this." He shook his head. "We want you back Wesley, we need you."
"No, you all made it perfectly clear."
"I need you, I love you," she stared deep into his eyes, that looked blankly back.
He stared at her for a few seconds, hearing the words repeated in his brain. I love you. Why would she say this if it wasn't true? At this point, he broke down, crying on her shoulder. She just held him in her arms, stroking the back of his head as he wept. "You're gonna be fine, just let it all out. It's okay."
Less than half an hour later, his tears began to dry up; this outburst had obviously been building up for a while. Cordelia wiped the wetness off his face. "You feel any better?"
"A bit." She smiled at him. "Thanks for coming."
"I know you'd do the same for me." Wesley could not quite imagine Cordelia in the same position. "What happened, Wes? You weren't like this when you left this morning."
A grave look came over his face. "I thought I could help bring Angel his son back. I didn't know what else to do. It seems that I betrayed his trust somehow and now I have only made things worse."
"I don't think you could have made things worse than they were."
"I tried to help, but the boy has been brought up to hate Angel. Nothing I said got through to him. I don't think Angel will ever get him back." Cordelia sighed at this, the family would never be complete.
Just then, the phone started ringing. Wesley mad no move to answer it. Cordelia took charge, "should I answer that, or do you want to let the machine pick up?" Wesley started at this, he knew it was probably Lilah. He had no intention of letting Cordelia hear her voice on the phone or via the machine. He stood up and reached over, picking up the phone.
"Hello." He was not wrong, it was Lilah. She was calling once again to offer him that job. This time, he had made up his mind. "I'm definitely not interested. Don't call here ever again." He slammed the phone back on the receiver.
"Who was that?" Cordelia was shocked by the display.
"Damn telemarketers."
"Wasn't that a bit harsh?"
"They'll get over it."
"Yeah, people get over things, in time. You know, Angel will forgive you. He has a good heart and he'll see that we need you back."
Wesley wanted to believe her, but it was too much hope for him to handle right now. He would just take one day at a time and work from there.
Cordelia smiled at Wesley, who managed to weakly smile back. "I think things just might turn out alright."
THE END
Fred had gone upstairs to tend to the still unconscious man from the vision, leaving Cordelia and Angel with the client. Cordelia wanted to keep Angel busy, to give him something to do to take his mind off other matters. At first he had resisted, but she had told him that she would not let him go off and brood, instead of going after Wesley and Steven. Angel did not wish to challenge her and besides, he knew she was right. She kept him on track. She was always ready and able to deal with anything that came up, taking it in her stride. She could be strong for him when he needed it, and he loved her for it.
Inside, only she knew that it was a completely different story. Behind her solid front lay insecurities, fears and worries, just like inside everybody else. But the seer was not like everybody else, as she felt not only her own emotions, but those of others, who needed her help. Now she had discovered that she had some control over the visions, she was able to feel more clearly what people went through. She actually experienced things as if she was that particular person, and without the physical pain it was making it harder to draw the line between her own reality and that of others.
Right now, she could sense the depth of Angel's suffering without even trying to reach out and it overwhelmed her. It shook her just being near that much hurt. 'How can he live with all that pain?' she asked herself.
'Because he has to. He has to make things right.' A voice spoke softly into her ear. She jumped slightly, she had not been expecting an answer. Looking over at Angel, she saw that he had not noticed anything. Excusing herself, Cordelia went and locked herself in the bathroom. She stared at herself in the mirror.
"I need answers..." she paused, waiting for the familiar voice of the creature. As she stood there, a blue form appeared in the mirror in front of her.
"We're always listening, you're not alone," the female assured her.
"That's good to know, but it doesn't always feel that way."
"Yes, it is hard, it can't be easy. You can talk to us anytime." Cordelia looked down at the floor. "But you want to talk to them."
"I don't like keeping secrets. They'll only hate me for it."
"You know it's for the best."
Cordelia understood. "They would be distracted from this mission, and Angel would do anything to stop me from leaving."
"Just be strong, you are doing well. Except you have to stop teleporting people. It's too risky, you have not learnt how to control it yet."
Cordelia thought about the man lying upstairs, unconscious. "What can I do to help him?"
"You can heal him."
"How?"
"Like you have before."
"You mean with Angel."
"Yes," the creature was preparing to leave. "Limit the use of your powers, while you cannot control them They can do harm as well as good."
Cordelia closed her eyes, wishing that she had been more careful than she had been. She took a deep breath and she reopened her eyes, once again she was alone. When Angel saw her emerge from the bathroom, he came over to talk to her.
Smile, Cordy, be strong. "Hey, did you talk things over? Find anything interesting about the case?"
"Not really. You know, Cordy, that guy smells funny." Angel looked worried.
"Since when do you have a problem with body odour? Maybe he has a medical condition," Cordelia suggested, mistaking his worry for disgust.
"No, I mean demon man upstairs smell."
"Oh right, that makes sense," she agreed. "With the whole stalking women thing. We'd better get Fred to check him out, too." Angel nodded and started walking towards the stairs. "No, wait, I'll go, you stay with him. Let's not let him know anything is wrong just yet."
Cordelia found Fred taking a sample of blood from the man. She approached Fred from behind as she stood next him. "Hey Fred." A normal person might have jumped, but Fred reacted only by grinning. Cordelia did not know whether it was due to having lived in a cave for years, or her natural scientific concentration. "How's it going? Any change?"
"He hasn't changed, as you can see. I've just been doing some tests, but nothing yet."
Cordelia smiled, grateful for her hard work. "I think we found you a new patient."
"That's great! Well obviously not for him, but it gives me more to work with. Who is it?"
"Well, it's not one hundred percent sure, but the client downstairs..."
"Oh, yes. I should have thought! He said he had never seen that stalker himself and I thought it was a bit strange. It adds up." Fred sighed. "I should have known. How did you find out?"
"Angel could smell it."
"Handy skill."
"Yeah, kind of freaky, though. Imagine all the things he can smell on all of us..."
"Sure," they both laughed weakly. There was a short silence before Fred announced, "I'd better go down and see him. What are we going to say to him?"
"Maybe it's best not to tell him what we think just yet, in case we're wrong."
"I'll need to examine him though, get a blood or urine sample probably."
"I guess you'll have to let him know then," Cordelia nodded encouragingly, "be gently, it can't be easy to find out you might be a demon."
"You're not..." Fred was puzzled.
"No, I'd better stay here, in case he wakes up," she pulled up a chair next to the bed.
"I don't think I've ever seen anything like this before. There doesn't seem to be a thing wrong with him. His body is responding, but he seems to be in a deep sleep."
"I'll keep him company anyway. Maybe he can hear us."
"I guess we just never know who is hearing us... or smelling us. Anyway, I'd better go."
"Yeah, hope you find something." Cordelia sat on the chair next to the bed, waiting until Fred was gone. Just as she had with Angel, she began to empty her mind of thoughts and concentrate on his healing. Closing her eyes, she placed one hand on his forehead and held his hand with the other. She was uncertain how long she sat there, after a certain amount of time she heard a noise. It sounded like someone was calling out to her from far away. The voice grew louder as she slowly regained her normal state of mind and opened her eyes.
Angel was staring right at her, on the other side of the bed. "Cordelia, what are you doing?" he asked curiously.
"Angel... don't worry. It's fine."
"That was scary, Cordelia. I was calling you and you didn't even move. It's like you weren't really here." Angel did look worried.
"Yeah... I was concentrating on something else. What are you doing here anyway?"
"Well, you've been up here alone for an hour..."
"Wow, an hour? Really? I didn't think... I guess I wasn't really here."
Angel was concerned, "this doesn't sound good. You're exploring new powers on your own, it could be dangerous."
"I know what I'm doing."
"Really? You've tried this before? On who." She just stared at him, until he realised. "On me?"
"It worked out just fine didn't it?" She smiled up at him. "Now, what did we find out about the demon?"
"Don't you think we should discuss this?"
"There's nothing to discuss," she brushed him off. "Fill me in."
He stared at her for a few seconds, before letting it go. "Obviously, he didn't take it well. He refused to believe it, then realised it made sense. He's downstairs freaking out still."
"Maybe I should try talking to him. I'll try again with this guy later." Angel did not seem to approve of that idea, but he let her go.
Cordelia found the frantic man pacing around the lobby, firing a multitude of questions at Fred and Gunn. They looked uncomfortable with it, because they truly could not answer him properly. Cordelia approached Gunn. "Did you find anything?"
"Nope, nothing to report," Gunn responded apologetically.
"Fred?"
"Still working on it."
"Good, you're doing a good job, keep at it. Gunn, you think you could look through the books, now that you have seen what the creature looks like?"
He nodded. "I'll do what I can."
"Great. I'll try to talk to him." She approached the man, who stopped pacing when he saw her walking towards him. "Hi."
"Hello. Cordelia, right? I'm Barry. Most of the time anyway." Cordelia was glad to see that he could joke about his situation, it meant that he was starting to accept it. "You know what's happening to me, right? You can help? You can stop it? Do you think I killed people?"
"Hey, calm down. I can not answer all of your questions, especially all at once. You're in good hands, though, we're working on finding out exactly what this is."
"And then you can change me back? I don't want to be a demon for the rest of my life." Barry was about to start pacing again, but Cordelia put a hand on his arm.
"All demons aren't that bad. I'm not."
"You're a demon?" he found it hard to believe.
"You bet. And I work for the good guys."
"So I could be a good demon too?"
"If you control it. I had a friend in high school who was a werewolf. He just locked himself in a cage three days a month and everyone was fine."
"There are werewolves too? I don't think I'll ever go out again."
"Sure you will, people like us work to make it safe."
Barry went to sit down. In the last hour, he had absorbed more information about the supernatural than most people did in their lifetimes. It was a lot, but he had taken it all in quite well, Cordelia thought. She had seen a whole new side to the smart, composed man that had first arrived at the hotel. People do surprise you sometimes. She thought back to Wesley and how much he had changed recently. She could still feel his pain after touching him hours before. It was plain to her that she had to do something, even if it was just to dig deeper and find out exactly what had happened.
Her thoughts were interrupted by Fred, who was calling for Barry to come over. The two of them walked over to where Fred had set up her things. "What medication are you taking?" she asked. "I found traces of something in your blood. If I know what it is, it will make the process easier."
Barry looked uncomfortable, "well, I'm taking a new thing my doctor prescribed, to..." he blushed, they were all staring at him. "... To increase my performance, to boost energy," he finished quietly. They others looked away, not knowing what to say. Fred went back to work and nobody spoke for a while. Minutes later she made another discovery. The others jumped when she spoke suddenly.
"I'm finding traces of the same medication in the blood of the other demon. It can't be a coincidence."
Cordelia began to understand. "Yes, the demon thing has to be some sort of side-effect of the drug. There was a definite 'vibe' coming from that other demon guy."
"You mean when he was checking you out?" Gunn grinned.
"So you're saying I'm some kind of horny demon?" Barry looked horrified.
"Quite literally too," Cordelia nodded.
"Oh God, I have horns?" he looked even more horrified.
"You'd better give us the address of your doctor. Angel and I can go check it out. It's just gone dark. Gunn, can you stay with the guy upstairs? Fred, continue research and call us with any information you find." They both nodded, used to her being the boss. "Barry, shouldn't you go home to your wife?"
"No, I don't want to be a danger to anyone. Plus, she's away on vacation right now, hiding from the stalker. From me. If it's in the drugs, it will wear off, right?"
"It should do," Fred was hopeful. "You want to help with the research? It will make things faster."
"Sure, point me to the books." It was unusual to see the client helping in such a way, but the help was nice. They had no time to appreciate the situation further, they set into action. Once they had the address and Gunn had gone to replace Angel, the two of them set off in his car.
"How did my car get back here anyway?" he wondered.
"I think Fred drove it back after they found it."
"You mean, you didn't..." she realised that she had just admitted that she had never shown up that night.
"I... I had to think things through. I wasn't as ready as I thought I was."
"Are you ready now?"
"No," she said weakly.
"Will you ever be?" when she didn't reply, he continued. "You look different, almost sad."
"I'm going through a few changes." Understatement of the year, she added mentally.
"Me too. I love you." He breathed deeply and unnecessarily.
"I..." she choked.
"Talk to me, Cor."
"I'm sorry, I can't right now. Give me some time. We need to stay focused on what we're doing." She turned away from him and stared out as they made their way through the streets. Angel said nothing, he closed himself off and she could no longer feel the emotion pouring off him. He was hurting, she knew, and she hated being the cause of that. Still, she was glad he did not push further and respected her wishes to have more time. In fact, she did not need any time at all, she knew exactly how she felt and what she wanted. The time when she would be 'ready' would be when she would have to leave again.
After a few minutes of silence they arrived at the doctor's office. They presumed he would still be there, as it had only just gone dark. Before they got out of the car, Cordelia's cell phone started ringing.
"Oh, hi Fred. Any info on what we're dealing with?"
"It seems that the demon-ness in the patients is caused by mixing the blood of the main beast into the medication. Killing him won't kill the demon in the others, but the effects will probably wear off, or we could create an antidote easily." Cordelia heard a faint 'thank God' in the background.
"That's great Fred. Anything else?"
"It would be good if you could bring back the doctor's notes and the patient list or find out from him."
"We'll see what we can do... yes... you too... bye." They both got out of the car and walk towards the office. She filled him in with the details on the way. When they arrived at the office, the door was unlocked but the waiting room was empty and the receptionist was preparing to go home.
"We're here to see Dr. Liston," Cordelia spoke to the woman.
"I'm sorry, you don't have an appointment. Would you like to schedule one for tomorrow?" she opened the book on her desk.
"Julie, it's okay. I'll see these people before I finish here." She didn't look too happy when he said that. "Don't worry, I don't need you here, you can go." She brightened up with this news. When she had left, Angel and Cordelia followed the doctor into his office. He had various diplomas adorning the walls, but no photos on the desk, Cordelia noticed. The doctor sat at his desk and the two of them occupied the chairs on the other side.
"You two look like you could use my help. Where did you hear about me?"
Angel made a move to protest what he was saying, but Cordelia nudged him and decided to follow the lead of the doctor. "We have some friends who recommended you. Barry and his wife."
"Oh, yes, of course. What exactly is the problem?"
Cordelia continued, "well, the attraction is definitely there..." Angel looked at her curiously.
"But we're unable..." Angel attempted to continue.
"He's unable to do it," she corrected.
"Often it stems from both partners."
"Oh, it's definitely him." Angel glared, uncomfortable with what was being said.
"So it's a physical problem. I should think I will be able to help. If you call tomorrow, you can make an appointment."
"That's great, right Angel?"
"How exactly does it work?"
"We can discuss it all tomorrow. I don't really have the time now." The doctor began sorting through the files on his desk. As they stood up, Cordelia's scarf fell to the floor. Angel made a move to pick it up, but she shook her head slightly, telling him to leave it. They said their thank yous and made their way out of the office and down to the car. Once they were there, they began to discuss the doctor.
"There was definitely something wrong there," Cordelia started.
"I got a weird vibe, too. He seemed to want us to leave soon."
"You think he's doing something right now?"
"It's possible. We should probably go back."
"Hence the scarf. An excuse just in case everything is fine."
"Right, let's go."
"I think I should go alone, it's less obvious. I might be able to get him to talk to me too. I'll call you up if necessary." "No, I don't think it's a good idea. What if he tries something?"
"I can handle myself."
Their argument was interrupted by the ringing cell phone. Cordelia thrust it into Angel's hand and went back inside. Moments later she arrived at the doctor's office. The door was still unlocked, so she walked right into the waiting room. She knocked on the door of the office and immediately opened it without waiting for an answer. As she walked in, she witnessed the doctor turn into something else. His demon form was similar to that of the others, except he was much bigger, more horned and a lot more intelligent. There was a row of syringes on the desk, presumably for taking out the blood.
"I just forgot my scarf..." The creature took a step towards her. "Angel, I need your help."
This demon understood what she was saying and was also able to respond. "He's not going to hear you." But Angel had heard her, perfectly, all the way from outside. "Human women! So hopeless!"
"Hey, I might be a woman, but I'm not human and I am definitely not hopeless." He paused for a second before lunging at her. She responded with a blast of light, knocking him across the room. Angel arrived at that point, having ran all the way from the car.
"You came, I knew you would."
"Got your message. It looks like you've got this under control." Angel gestured to the demon in the corner, who was stirring.
"I didn't know what to do. Isn't he human?"
"He's got to be the main one, he's definitely not an innocent. He attacked you, so now we kill him."
"Did Fred say how?"
"Typical slice and dice." The demon was now on it's feet, but was still shaken from his trip across the room. This made Angel job easier. He drew his sword from inside his jacket. His opponent was unarmed, he only had his claws, which were nothing compared to Angel's battle skills. Angel retained the upper hand, although he received a few minor scratches. The fight was over soon enough and the demon lay slain on the ground.
"What are we going to do with the body?" Cordelia wondered, picking up her scarf, which she was annoyed to find had specks of blood on it.
"I guess we'll have to dispose of it somehow, we can't leave it here." He looked at Cordelia, who was now rooting through the office to find notes and patient records. She collected the relevant information and found a big sheet that had drops of paint on it, she guessed it was from when the room had been decorated. They wrapped the body in the sheet and Angel picked up the heavy weight.
"Can you manage?"
"Yeah, I got it," he strained under the weight. "It isn't too far." They struggled to the car, where Angel deposited the body in the back seat.
* * *
Later, back at the hotel, Fred had managed to piece together what had happened. Using the doctor's case-files and her research, she had worked out that the doctor was a demon who had regularly took the form of a human, to fit into their world. He had done for years, as he was a real doctor with real knowledge and credentials. "His reasons for doing what he did we can only guess at. He was probably lonely, because there was no-one else like him, and he wanted to create some sort of 'family' for himself."
Cordelia nodded, remembering the lack of photos in his office. "So he used his blood in the medication to transform the men who asked for his help." It was all making sense. "The only problem was, their demon forms were not linked to their human selves, so they were very different from him."
"Plus they had to keep taking the medication to transform, which means that they were not real demons at all." Fred added. "What happened to them was the opposite of the doctor. He was a demon taking on the appearance of a human, but they were humans taken over by a demon."
"Like vampires?" Gunn wondered.
Angel cringed at the comparison. "But for vampires, the human and the demon are linked. For these men, it was the beast that just took over."
"So it's like a werewolf then?" Cordelia suggested an analogy that was more appreciated.
They had relocated to the bedroom of the man who had recently woken up when Cordelia and Angel had arrived back. There had not been the need to explain everything to him and he remembered nothing, so they simply told him he has had an 'episode' probably due to the medication he was taking. He seemed fine, so Gunn was about to drive him home, after they found some clothes to wear. Fred went to call the other patients in the files, instructing them to stop taking the medication. The client had left, leaving them with a cheque, extremely relieved that he was not really a demon ('no offence meant to Cordelia') and that the stalker problem had been solved. Cordelia and Angel found themselves alone once again.
"I think we should tend to those wounds. To the bedroom!" Cordelia instructed, then blushed, realising what she had just said.
"Whatever you say!" Angel laughed.
The tension between them had lifted significantly, they could not stay without speaking for very long. They talked light-heartedly, but they knew the conversation would turn serious at some point.
Angel had already started healing, but she took care of his wounds anyway. He was not complaining, she insisted on taking care of him. He had a few scratches on his arms and a deeper cut on his chest that she thought needed her attention. "Take off your shirt," she told him. When he hesitated, she started doing it for him. "We've done this a million times before. It's just the same." But it was not the same, they both knew it. They both breathed deeply as she finished taking off his shirt and started to clean his wound. After she had finished dressing it and had cleared away the medical supplies, Cordelia was the first to speak. "How are you feeling?"
"Good. Better," he pointed to his chest. "You okay?"
"Me? Sure. I think I'm ready to talk now." Angel had not been expecting this and was slightly taken aback. "This is not easy, so I'm just going to come out right and say it." She sat on the bed next to him, he took her hand in his. "I'm in love with you. I have been for a while, but I didn't really realise it until recently, when Groo left. I could never love him, it's always been you." She stopped, noticing how happy he was. Her abilities to sense emotions made the positive feelings even more special and made it all worthwhile. His happiness was only going to make what was to come harder. "There's something I have to tell you, about me."
"Cordelia." His voice seemed urgent.
"What?"
Angel looked confused. Cordelia realised that the voice was speaking in her head, it was not Angel that had said her name. Why would they do this to her now, in the middle of this conversation? She did not stop to think about it, she had to get out to speak to them. "Angel, don't move. I'll be right back." She didn't give him a chance to react before she got up and sped out of the room, leaving him staring after her. As soon as she was out of the room, she was transported upwards, soon finding herself back in the blue room.
The female creature greeted her, she was alone. "So, you decided to tell him."
"I had to. I couldn't keep it from him. It won't get in the way of the mission," she assured her.
"I knew you would tell him. You don't need to justify yourself, I do understand. Your bond with Angel is special, you're lucky, not everyone finds that."
"What are you saying?"
"I'm saying that you deserve to fight alongside Angel. You deserve to keep the love that has grown between you. You are a great team."
"So this was all a test?"
"In a way, yes. Your future had not been written. Now, things are more clear."
"I can be with Angel?" Cordelia was finding it hard to believe.
"You can."
"What about the risks?"
"The risks keep you focused, stop you from losing the mission. It will be hard, but it always is. You know that by now."
"Yeah, I sure do." Cordelia realised that she was nervous. Before, she had 'known' that the relationship could not be, and now she had been told otherwise. She did not doubt his feelings for her, and she knew now that she loved him, but she was unsure about how things were going to turn out. She had doubts, but she realised that they best way to resolve them would be to talk them through with Angel. "I should go back. Are we done here?"
"For now, if you need no further answers."
"Just one more question. The something big you mentioned, was that it?"
"There is always something big coming, we need you down there. What you just did, that was nothing compared to what is to come."
She nodded, prepared to accept whatever was coming. "We'll be ready." After she spoke, she found herself on her way back down to earth, to the hotel. She arrived in the same place she had left, just as Angel opened his door.
"What is it, Cordy? What's so important?" Angel was slightly worried.
"What?" she was momentarily confused.
"You just rushed out."
"Oh, that, yes," she realised that no time had passed, she was back where she had started. "It's nothing, I thought I had to do something, but I was wrong. Sorry, never mind!" She wondered if he would leave it at that and forget about it. He gave her a strange look, she was acting a little crazy, but he accepted what she had said.
"You coming back inside?" he asked gently.
"Of course," she was starting to feel like a nervous teenager again. Things were going to be alright. Their lives were back on track. The two of them sat back down awkwardly on the bed.
"What was it that you were going to tell me?"
"I was going to tell you..." she answered slowly, trying to think what to say. She realised that he did not have to know about her leaving, as now she would be staying for a long time. "I'm scared, I don't know how things are going to work out."
"You mean the whole 'tragic farce' deal? Because we can work on that."
She had to laugh, becoming more relaxed in his presence. "I've had my share too, you know. Remember the demon spawn? Xander Harris... I couldn't even get things to work out with Groo... and he was like, the perfect boyfriend."
"Perfect? I guess perfect wasn't good enough for you..."
Cordelia shook her head, "Groo was too good. He gave me everything I wanted and I gave nothing in return. I ended up just hurting him."
"Are you saying you settled for less?" he asked with mock-hurt.
"I'm saying I fell in love with my best friend. That's more perfect than I could ever have imagined." She smiled up at him and he could not stop himself from grinning back.
"I've never had a best friend before, and I've never known anyone quite like you. You're special, you know that. How could you fall for an old, tortured soul like me?"
"How could I not?" She leaned over, running her hand along his face. This time, they were not possessed, they were in complete control of themselves, but there was definitely magic in the air as their lips met. They had been through so much already, but this was new. They explored each others mouths, starting gently and slowly building up with passion.
When they eventually pulled apart, Cordelia was breathing deeply. She stared into Angel's eyes and sighed contentedly. She could get used to this. They both lay back on the bed, wrapping their arms around each other. Neither of them wanted to ever move from this position, they were both so comfortable together. They lay there, not sleeping, not talking, but not needing anything more. The two of them were content with relaxing together, away from any worries hat existed in the real world. It was nice to just forget about all the bad things that had happened and absorb the love.
A long time passed before either of them moved. Cordelia was the first to attempt to disentangle herself, realising that it was late and she should go home. Angel growled softly when she tried to remove herself from his arms. He was already half asleep and had still not completely recovered from everything that had happened during the day. Realising that Cordelia intended on going home, Angel started to get up, offering to drive her. She pushed him back down, saying that she would be fine, and he would be better resting. He didn't want to argue with her and ruin their peace, so he lay back down, where she kissed him goodnight. She promised to return in the morning.
* * *
Cordelia had never intended on going straight to her apartment, she still had unfinished business. She had to speak to Wesley. Although she felt that she was betraying Angel in a way, she could not bear to know that another of her friends was in so much pain. Even though she knew what he had done, she also knew that he was a good person inside and he had to be saved before it was too late. She made her way to his apartment on foot, thinking things through as she went. Her family was finally coming back together, but they would not be happy without Connor and Wesley back, even if Angel did not realise that right now.
Wesley's apartment building drew into sight after a while, she had enjoyed her walk and was pleased with herself for not resorting to transporting herself through supernatural means. When she arrived at Wesley's door, she knocked several times, with no answer. She called out through the door, but there was no response. Sensing that something was wrong, she knew that she would have to go inside. Unlike Angel, she did not have to kick down the door, she could simply transport herself inside. Not knowing what to expect, she prepared to land herself into the apartment.
When she materialised a few seconds later, she saw the broken man staring straight at her from the couch. He did not even move when she appeared in front of him. Her first thought was that he was dead, but she saw him moving slightly. She then thought that he was drunk and in some sort of form of unconsciousness, but she saw no evidence to support that theory.
"Wesley?" she asked tentatively. "Are you okay?"
"Mmm," was the only response. At least he was reacting to her, she thought.
"Wesley!" she walked over to him. "Wesley, talk to me." She shook him.
"Why would you want to talk to me?" the self-pity in his voice made her melt. "I'm a bad person, I just bring about bad things."
"Wesley, that is not true." She refused to let him retreat into himself, scared that he would harm himself in such a way. "You just had some bad luck. But I know you, you're a good man, you can get through this." He shook his head. "We want you back Wesley, we need you."
"No, you all made it perfectly clear."
"I need you, I love you," she stared deep into his eyes, that looked blankly back.
He stared at her for a few seconds, hearing the words repeated in his brain. I love you. Why would she say this if it wasn't true? At this point, he broke down, crying on her shoulder. She just held him in her arms, stroking the back of his head as he wept. "You're gonna be fine, just let it all out. It's okay."
Less than half an hour later, his tears began to dry up; this outburst had obviously been building up for a while. Cordelia wiped the wetness off his face. "You feel any better?"
"A bit." She smiled at him. "Thanks for coming."
"I know you'd do the same for me." Wesley could not quite imagine Cordelia in the same position. "What happened, Wes? You weren't like this when you left this morning."
A grave look came over his face. "I thought I could help bring Angel his son back. I didn't know what else to do. It seems that I betrayed his trust somehow and now I have only made things worse."
"I don't think you could have made things worse than they were."
"I tried to help, but the boy has been brought up to hate Angel. Nothing I said got through to him. I don't think Angel will ever get him back." Cordelia sighed at this, the family would never be complete.
Just then, the phone started ringing. Wesley mad no move to answer it. Cordelia took charge, "should I answer that, or do you want to let the machine pick up?" Wesley started at this, he knew it was probably Lilah. He had no intention of letting Cordelia hear her voice on the phone or via the machine. He stood up and reached over, picking up the phone.
"Hello." He was not wrong, it was Lilah. She was calling once again to offer him that job. This time, he had made up his mind. "I'm definitely not interested. Don't call here ever again." He slammed the phone back on the receiver.
"Who was that?" Cordelia was shocked by the display.
"Damn telemarketers."
"Wasn't that a bit harsh?"
"They'll get over it."
"Yeah, people get over things, in time. You know, Angel will forgive you. He has a good heart and he'll see that we need you back."
Wesley wanted to believe her, but it was too much hope for him to handle right now. He would just take one day at a time and work from there.
Cordelia smiled at Wesley, who managed to weakly smile back. "I think things just might turn out alright."
THE END