Back by popular demand! I wasn't going to write any more, but since y'all
asked for it. . .
***********
So, my first ten ID terms were due today and boy did I have trouble with them! While I, unlike everyone else, had all forty done over a month in advance and thus did not stay up until midnight working on them, just getting them to class was one heck of an adventure.
I had gone into school by way of the Troost gate, as usual. I was just walking past the music room steps when I felt a funny tingling sensation in my inner ear. Uh-oh. I knew something bad was going to happen, because that's the part of the ear that makes you carsick. Anyway, my ear was tickling.
I dropped to my knees and zipped open my binder. There, lying right inside the black zipper-cover, atop a mass of other assignments, lay the eight pages of creamy white paper, stained with ink black as pitch. My beautiful ID terms! I picked them up and hugged them, and I felt a strange sensation. . .
"AHHHHH!!!!" Recently, I had a rather strange adventure at Parth Galen. You've just read about it, in fact. So, when I found myself sitting on a stone chair in a circle of stone chairs, I knew something had gone wrong again.
Looking around I saw a bunch of very tall, perfect-haired people, a group of shorter people with a lot of facial hair, a very old person clad entirely in white, a short-ish person missing a finger, only two females, and a solemn-faced dude who looked rather pissed off. In the center of the ring of chairs stood a stone podium-type thing. Something was on top of it. . .I had seen that thing before! But what was it. . .?
"People of distant lands, friends of old, you have been called here today to discuss the one great evil left in Middle-Earth." I suppose that would be Elrond, then.
"I've told you before, a million times, if you want to fix the problem of having such a large nose--" began a fair-haired pointy-eared male creature, who I happened to know was Legolas, but Elrond interrupted.
"I don't trust Pippin! There's no way he'll bite it off properly!" He said angrily. "And my nose is not big!"
"You know, you do have a rather humongous schnoz," said the very old guy clad in white--this would be Gandalf, then.
"I do not. You're just senile, you old coot!"
"Elrond Half-Elven, do not take me for some conjurer of cheap tricks!" Gandalf said, becoming rather tall and turning everything gray--at least I think that's what he meant to do, but all he managed was a pink bunny rabbit and a top-hat. "All right, so I'm a bit out of practice. . ." he turned bright red and shrank to the size of a walnut--at least I think that's what he tried to do, he ended up producing a walnut-shell twice the size of Manhattan full of dried corn.
"Ahem. So. Ignoring my nose--I heard that, Estel!" Elrond said.
"No you didn't," said Aragorn a.k.a. Estel. I could see that he had made no attempt to improve his hygene. It's a wonder Arwen can live with him, let alone. . .anyway! "I didn't say anything."
"Yes you did! I distinctly heard you whisper to Arwen 'it's a good thing you didn't inherit the nose.' And I'll have you know that Arwen's not had nearly as much plastic surgery as she ought to! But that isn't why we're here."
"Yes, why are we here? Eowyn and I have important business that you've called us away from," Faramir said, trying to sound important.
"Working on your next child?" Arwen asked in a sugary-sweet yet incredibly malicious voice.
"I'll have you know we were!" Eowyn said angrily.
"Um, Eowyn, I think--"
"Shut up, Faramir. Nobody cares what you think." Faramir promptly burst into tears.
"Good think you went back to Gondor," Arwen said to Aragorn, loud enough that Eowyn could hear.
"B**ch!" scream Eowyn, jumping up. She and Arwen began to bicker in an elementary style mixed with a bit of gangster-rapping.
"Yo foo'! Faramir ain't got the brains to rule Gondor!" Arwen said.
"You ain't got no right to go talkin' no trash about my husband," Eowyn countered.
"Don't you tell me what to do, I ain't got to listen to no orders from you!"
"Oh, yeah? Well, I'll kick you into the middle of next week, then we'll see who listens to who!"
"Whom," Faramir said quietly.
"Shut yo' mouth, boy!" Eowyn said. Faramir started to cry again. Arwen and Eowyn promptly began to cat-fight. Every so often a shriek, or even strange a "meow" came from the huge dust cloud.
"Anyway," Elrond said. "This great, terrible evil has been brought before you today because it must be destroyed! There are a few options. There's napalm, to begin with, and then there's always the same old firey chasms from whence it came deal. Anyone up for a trip to Mount Doom?" At this, Frodo fell on the floor and began to twitch. "No then."
"Let us eat it!" Said Gimli, stepping forward. He shoved the thing into his mouth and chewed. Promptly he was bent over, puking. The thing reformed itself. I saw that it was my ID terms!
"It cannot be endured, Gimli son of Gloin, by any stomach we here possess." Elrond said with a touch of disdain. Maybe if I just crept forward slowly. . .yes! victory is mine! I clutched my terms. Now, to get back home. . .or not. . .
"She's trying to spread a third darkness across the lands!" Legolas said. Okay, that's pushing it a little!
"Haven't I seen you before?" Aragorn asked me.
"Yes! Parth Galen, you tried to destroy my history assignment then, too."
"Oh, right. Hey, good to see you again."
"Yeah, you too."
"We must kill her! Agent of Mordor!" Gimli raised his axe.
"Hey! That thing gives migraines, you know! And I have to work on my Physics lab! The last thing I need is some nutcase with some nut-weapon trying to crack my head open like a nut!" I shouted. Only I kept staring at the giant nut!
"Oh, dear me, migraines, really?" asked Gimli. "Terribly sorry, hadn't a clue about it."
"It's cool," I said. Now there was just that sharp arrow to worry about. "Hey, Greenleaf. Man. It has been way to long for you to kill me before we get a chance to catch up. So. . .how are you?"
"Wow. You care! You really care!"
"Um, Legolas. . ."
"All the girls hate me! Even the fangirls won't come near me! Except that Mary-Sue one, but really. . ." and he, too, burst into tears.
"There. . .there." Can I convey any LESS emotion? Luckily Arwen came up and started petting Legolas. Or not so lucky. . .
"Arwen!"
"Oh, Aragorn, you have so many control issues. I'm not YOURS you know!"
"You're my wife," he said.
"I want a divorce!"
Oh, my. I left before anyone tried to kill me, just hoping Arwen and Aragorn could work it out on their own.
***********
So, my first ten ID terms were due today and boy did I have trouble with them! While I, unlike everyone else, had all forty done over a month in advance and thus did not stay up until midnight working on them, just getting them to class was one heck of an adventure.
I had gone into school by way of the Troost gate, as usual. I was just walking past the music room steps when I felt a funny tingling sensation in my inner ear. Uh-oh. I knew something bad was going to happen, because that's the part of the ear that makes you carsick. Anyway, my ear was tickling.
I dropped to my knees and zipped open my binder. There, lying right inside the black zipper-cover, atop a mass of other assignments, lay the eight pages of creamy white paper, stained with ink black as pitch. My beautiful ID terms! I picked them up and hugged them, and I felt a strange sensation. . .
"AHHHHH!!!!" Recently, I had a rather strange adventure at Parth Galen. You've just read about it, in fact. So, when I found myself sitting on a stone chair in a circle of stone chairs, I knew something had gone wrong again.
Looking around I saw a bunch of very tall, perfect-haired people, a group of shorter people with a lot of facial hair, a very old person clad entirely in white, a short-ish person missing a finger, only two females, and a solemn-faced dude who looked rather pissed off. In the center of the ring of chairs stood a stone podium-type thing. Something was on top of it. . .I had seen that thing before! But what was it. . .?
"People of distant lands, friends of old, you have been called here today to discuss the one great evil left in Middle-Earth." I suppose that would be Elrond, then.
"I've told you before, a million times, if you want to fix the problem of having such a large nose--" began a fair-haired pointy-eared male creature, who I happened to know was Legolas, but Elrond interrupted.
"I don't trust Pippin! There's no way he'll bite it off properly!" He said angrily. "And my nose is not big!"
"You know, you do have a rather humongous schnoz," said the very old guy clad in white--this would be Gandalf, then.
"I do not. You're just senile, you old coot!"
"Elrond Half-Elven, do not take me for some conjurer of cheap tricks!" Gandalf said, becoming rather tall and turning everything gray--at least I think that's what he meant to do, but all he managed was a pink bunny rabbit and a top-hat. "All right, so I'm a bit out of practice. . ." he turned bright red and shrank to the size of a walnut--at least I think that's what he tried to do, he ended up producing a walnut-shell twice the size of Manhattan full of dried corn.
"Ahem. So. Ignoring my nose--I heard that, Estel!" Elrond said.
"No you didn't," said Aragorn a.k.a. Estel. I could see that he had made no attempt to improve his hygene. It's a wonder Arwen can live with him, let alone. . .anyway! "I didn't say anything."
"Yes you did! I distinctly heard you whisper to Arwen 'it's a good thing you didn't inherit the nose.' And I'll have you know that Arwen's not had nearly as much plastic surgery as she ought to! But that isn't why we're here."
"Yes, why are we here? Eowyn and I have important business that you've called us away from," Faramir said, trying to sound important.
"Working on your next child?" Arwen asked in a sugary-sweet yet incredibly malicious voice.
"I'll have you know we were!" Eowyn said angrily.
"Um, Eowyn, I think--"
"Shut up, Faramir. Nobody cares what you think." Faramir promptly burst into tears.
"Good think you went back to Gondor," Arwen said to Aragorn, loud enough that Eowyn could hear.
"B**ch!" scream Eowyn, jumping up. She and Arwen began to bicker in an elementary style mixed with a bit of gangster-rapping.
"Yo foo'! Faramir ain't got the brains to rule Gondor!" Arwen said.
"You ain't got no right to go talkin' no trash about my husband," Eowyn countered.
"Don't you tell me what to do, I ain't got to listen to no orders from you!"
"Oh, yeah? Well, I'll kick you into the middle of next week, then we'll see who listens to who!"
"Whom," Faramir said quietly.
"Shut yo' mouth, boy!" Eowyn said. Faramir started to cry again. Arwen and Eowyn promptly began to cat-fight. Every so often a shriek, or even strange a "meow" came from the huge dust cloud.
"Anyway," Elrond said. "This great, terrible evil has been brought before you today because it must be destroyed! There are a few options. There's napalm, to begin with, and then there's always the same old firey chasms from whence it came deal. Anyone up for a trip to Mount Doom?" At this, Frodo fell on the floor and began to twitch. "No then."
"Let us eat it!" Said Gimli, stepping forward. He shoved the thing into his mouth and chewed. Promptly he was bent over, puking. The thing reformed itself. I saw that it was my ID terms!
"It cannot be endured, Gimli son of Gloin, by any stomach we here possess." Elrond said with a touch of disdain. Maybe if I just crept forward slowly. . .yes! victory is mine! I clutched my terms. Now, to get back home. . .or not. . .
"She's trying to spread a third darkness across the lands!" Legolas said. Okay, that's pushing it a little!
"Haven't I seen you before?" Aragorn asked me.
"Yes! Parth Galen, you tried to destroy my history assignment then, too."
"Oh, right. Hey, good to see you again."
"Yeah, you too."
"We must kill her! Agent of Mordor!" Gimli raised his axe.
"Hey! That thing gives migraines, you know! And I have to work on my Physics lab! The last thing I need is some nutcase with some nut-weapon trying to crack my head open like a nut!" I shouted. Only I kept staring at the giant nut!
"Oh, dear me, migraines, really?" asked Gimli. "Terribly sorry, hadn't a clue about it."
"It's cool," I said. Now there was just that sharp arrow to worry about. "Hey, Greenleaf. Man. It has been way to long for you to kill me before we get a chance to catch up. So. . .how are you?"
"Wow. You care! You really care!"
"Um, Legolas. . ."
"All the girls hate me! Even the fangirls won't come near me! Except that Mary-Sue one, but really. . ." and he, too, burst into tears.
"There. . .there." Can I convey any LESS emotion? Luckily Arwen came up and started petting Legolas. Or not so lucky. . .
"Arwen!"
"Oh, Aragorn, you have so many control issues. I'm not YOURS you know!"
"You're my wife," he said.
"I want a divorce!"
Oh, my. I left before anyone tried to kill me, just hoping Arwen and Aragorn could work it out on their own.