Another chapter? And about time too! Sorry for the long gap between chapters, but I've had to suffer exams and
major assignments, and it can only get worse! *sobs* This is getting neglected!
My main problem is that I can't get focussed on this section as well as
before, I keep thinking of the Ryuuen chapter and the other ones, not to
mention a few other fanfic ideas I have floating around in my head, plus
a few originals. On top of all that, I want to enter a novella competition!
I just have to finish the novella I'm writing! x_x As you can see, it's
been pretty tiring! But here you go, the long awaited chapter! Well, kinda
awaited, perhaps...
Genrou and Kouji
Chapter 2 - Wolf Pup
"My name is Patrick. I am six and a half years old. I live in Japan."
"Shun-chan, what're you doing?" Sorcha asked sleepily, rubbing her bleary eyes and leaning over.
"Mummy! I thought you were asleep!" Shun'u said, guiltily. In their one room apartment, she must have heard everything.
"Shun'u, why were you speaking English?" Sorcha asked, suspiciously.
"I was practising," Shun'u muttered.
"Why?" asked Sorcha, bewildered, turning the light on to look at his face.
"So you won't go away!" wailed Shun'u suddenly. "I stopped practisin' an' now Neko-chan's gone! An' you, an' Hikari-san an' Kouji'll be next!" Sorcha looked at him in horror, as he added, "Like Daddy." Sorcha engulfed him in a hug, tears sliding down her face.
"Don't you say that! Don't you ever say that!" she sobbed. "I love you, I'll never leave you! Ever! And Daddy loves you too, I know it! Neko-chan had to leave because her family moved with her father's work! Her mother told me!" Shun'u clung to his mother and wailed.
"What about Kouji? What about Hikari?" he pleaded.
"They won't go!" Sorcha reassured him His eye told her he thought the opposite. She snapped into action.
"If you don't believe me, we'll ask them!" Sorcha said, confidently. She looked at the clock. It was 9pm, she had gone to bed early with Shun'u, partially because otherwise she'd keep him awake, but mostly because she was so tired from her work that she needed it. She turned on the light and reached for the phone, knowing Hikari would still be awake. The phone was a recent purchase, to be used only in emergencies, due to the cost, but if this wasn't an emergency, Sorcha didn't know what was. She scrabbled around for Hikari's number then dialled. A man answered the phone.
"Yamada Hiro speaking," he said.
"Hello, Yamada-san," Sorcha greeted Hikari's partner politely, "may I speak to Hito Hikari?"
"I'll get her." Sorcha waited until Hikari was on and then quickly summed up the situation, finally asking if Shun'u could talk to Kouji. During all this, Shun'u was quietly watching, eyes wide. Sorcha quietly passed the phone to him.
"It's Kouji for you," she said.
Shun'u
I picked up the phone, feeling a little scared. What if they were trying to trick me?
"Hi Shun'u," came Kouji's voice through the phone. He sounded sleepy. "What'd you wake me for?"
"Kouji? Will you always be there?"
"Huh?" he asked.
"Please, don't ever go away," I pleaded.
"What do ya mean? I'll always be there. I'll always be ya friend," Kouji said, sleepily. Then he started sounding worried. "Was I being mean to you?" He burst into tears. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" I burst into tears too because he felt so bad.
"No! You weren't mean!" I said.
"Good," he sniffled. "I don' wanna be mean to you. If I'm ever mean to you I'll... I'll... I'll give you my bike!" I breathed in. He meant it too. He was trying to prove he was my friend. How could I top that? I don' have a bike and I can' give him the TV, we only got it a month ago an' Mummy would be sad. All I have is...
"If I'm ever mean to you, I'll give you Bran," I said. Kouji had stopped blubbin' and sounded surprised.
"Bran? But he's special..." he said, then stopped, realising this was our biggest promise ever. We couldn't ever break it now.
"That's why I'm never gonna be mean to you!" I said. "Besides, I don' think Bran'd like to move house!"
"Yeah," Kouji agreed, "he'd hate it."
"So you'll always be there? You won' go away?" I asked.
"Uh huh," Kouji yawned. Then a thought got to me.
"What about Hikari-san?" I asked.
"Hikari-san? Yeah, she'll be here too, I'll make sure," Kouji said.
"But Kouji-kun! She's not your Mummy! She doesn't have to be friends with my Mummy cos I'm friends with you! If she goes away, Mummy'll be sad!" I said. Mummy was looking at me, wondering what was going on.
"I won't go," Hikari said, in a few moments. Kouji had passed her the phone. "Especially now. I'm pregnant." I looked at Mummy.
"What does pregnant mean?"
"It means 'going to have a baby'," Mummy said, then her eyes widened. "Who is going to have a baby?!" She grabbed the phone off me. "Hikari-chan! Are you going to have a baby?!"
"Hikari-san is having a baby?" I asked, pulling Mummy's nighty.
"Hang on, let's put it on speaker-phone," Mummy said to me and Hikari.
"Yes, I'm having a baby! Isn't it wonderful? Kouji'll have someone to play with!" Hikari said, happily.
"Will it be a boy or a girl?" Mummy asked.
"We don't know yet. Kouji wants it to be a boy, Hiro wants it to be a girl. I don't care what it is, so long as it's not a hermaphrodite!"
"What's a hermaphrodite, Hikari-san?" Kouji asked. Mummy started going all funny and red.
"We'll tell you later. Oh, this is so exciting! How many months to go?" Mummy asked.
"Four! It turns out I wasn't getting a potbelly after all, it was a baby! I was hopin it would be but didn't want to say just in case! I kept forgetting to get it checked but I did eventually and the results came back just after we got home today! Imagine, Sorcha, a baby! Oh, you've all got to help me name it!" Hikari said.
"Yeah!" Kouji said, happily. He yawned and Hikari suddenly turned mean.
"I think it's time for you to go to bed, Kouji," she said.
"But Hikari-san...!" he begged.
"Come on," I heard a voice say. Must be Kouji's stepdad.
"I think it's time for bed too," she said.
"But I'm not sleepy!" I said. Mummy is mean! She laughed.
"I know you're not, but I am! I have work! You wouldn't want to keep me awake, would you?"
"No, I'm sorry, Mummy. I won't go to sleep, but I'll lie down with my eyes closed and be as quiet as a mouse," I said. Poor Mummy works too hard. And she does it because she loves me.
"I'd better go then," Hikari said. "Goodnight
Shun'u. Don't forget, we'll always be here. Goodnight Sorcha. Sleep well
everyone, see you all tomorrow!" Mummy put down the phone and turned out
the lights. I wriggled my futon next to her and curled up in Mummy's arms.
I'm not alone and Daddy will be back soon. I know it. Bran told me.
*********
"Uh, Hikari-chan?" asked Sorcha nervously. "When are we going to tell the boys about the facts of life? I still haven't explained to Shun'u what a hermaphrodite is!"
"When they ask," Hikari replied, waddling along. Her belly was getting large now and she was having trouble walking easily. "Phew!" she added, "I'll have to stop doing this!"
"That's okay, since my promotion I've been able to drop them at school and pick them up. You know that, why do you keep doing this?" Sorcha asked.
"No point in doing nothing. I mean, I'm on maternity leave and bored sick. I don't want to get lazy," Hikari panted, "but all the same, it's lucky you got that promotion. Good timing."
"I want to get some better furniture," Sorcha said, "with the extra money. After that, who knows? Maybe a better place to live. I can afford a higher rent now, and our place is a flea pit if I ever saw one."
"That's good news then," Hikari said, trying to keep up. Sorcha sighed. Hikari looked at her friend. "What's up?" she asked.
"I'm still on the topic of sex-ed. Hikari, I just don't know what to do! Kids can be cruel and well... what if they start calling Shun-chan names? Because he's illegitimate," Sorcha whispered the last sentence. She watched Shun'u running ahead with Kouji.
Hikari sighed. "This baby'll be born out of wedlock too, remember? But I don't think it matters. They are loved, that's what counts. What about Kouji? His Mum left him, but that doesn't matter, he's perfect. Well, he's a real ratbag at times and speaks with in the broadest Kansai dialect I have ever heard in a kid his age, but apart from that...!"
"Maybe you're right," Sorcha replied, cheering up, "especially about the dialect bit. Shun'u started off speaking like he was from Tokyo and now he speaks just like the locals, even though neither of us have picked it up."
"Of course I'm right, baka!" Hikari laughed. "I'm the older and wiser about. Except when it comes to giving birth, so you'd better fill me in on all the details."
"Hikari-chan!" Sorcha gasped, embarrassed. "We're in the street! This is hardly the place to talk about it!"
Hikari grinned wickedly. "Hey, you brought up the topic of sex, not me! C'mon, let's scare the people!" she giggled.
"If you must know, I barely remember. I was drugged up so I wouldn't feel anything," Sorcha said, indignantly, "remember, I was only seventeen."
"I guess I'll have to find out for myself," Hikari said, disappointed about not hearing all the gory details.
"Just one month to go!" Sorcha grinned, sensing her friend's disappointment. Hikari let out a happy squeal.
They finally reached the school gates and kissed their respective children farewell.
"Bye Mummy!" Shun'u called.
"Bye Hikari-san!" Kouji waved, hugging Hikari's big belly. "Bye Otouto!"
"That's so cute! He already calls it 'little brother'!" Sorcha said.
Hikari watched Kouji sadly. "And he still calls me 'Hikari-san'. Not Okaa-san or even Hikari-chan, but Hikari-san."
"You know he thinks of you as his mother. Why does it bother you? If it bothers you, why don't you ask him to change what he calls you?" Sorcha asked.
"I'm too embarrassed. I'm afraid he'd refuse," Hikari said, softly.
"Don't be. He loves you. I think he's afraid you'd be offended if he called you 'Hikari-chan' or 'Okaa-chan'. He counts the baby as a sibling, remember? That counts for something," Sorcha pointed out.
As they started walking to the cafe where Sorcha worked, she decided to change the subject.
"What does your partner think of all this?" Sorcha asked.
"He's ecstatic! He loves kids! But lately, he's spent late nights at the office. I think he misses the regular sex, to be honest!" Hikari laughed. A woman stared at her from the street and Hikari poked out her tongue. "Haven't you ever seen a pregnant woman before?!" she called. She turned back to Sorcha, mock-indignant. "Honestly, people are so rude!" She noticed Sorcha's face then and asked, "Hey, what's up, Sorcha-chan? Still on the topic of sex-education?"
"No!" laughed Sorcha, snapping out of her trance, "I was just thinking how little I get to see Hiro-san. The last time I saw him was ages ago. I'll probably get to see him at the baby's Christening though."
"Christening? Oh yes, you're Catholic. No, I'm Shinto. He won't be Christened," Hikari replied, "still, I'm not surprised you haven't seen Hiro-chan very much. After all, he's very busy." She sighed. "He usually gets home at 6pm but now I'm pregnant, I sometimes see him during the day."
"It must be hard," Sorcha sympathised.
"It is," Hikari agreed, surprising herself.
"It is."
Kouji
Note: Kouji calls his stepfather "Uncle" to show how close he is to him. He calls Hikari, "Hikari-san", which is very formal. No one is quite sure why, Sorcha and even Shun'u (occasionally) calls her "Hikari-chan". Kouji calls Sorcha by her Japanese name, "Sora" (sky).
The waitin' room is cold an' boring. You can read but there's nothin' good. All that's on TV is the news. The toys are okay but real old an' we've been here for ages. Shun'u don' even have Bran, he left him at home. Shun'u ain't real happy about that. He's bored too, but he don' even really hafta be here. I don' think his Okaa wants to go though. She wants to see Hikari-san's baby an' besides, she can' leave me on my own. Uncle is in with Hikari-san. That means there's no one to look after me 'cept Sora-san.
I go up to Shun'-kun who is bored too.
"Shun'?" I ask, real quiet, "I'm scared."
"What for?" Shun'u asks me, real quietly back. He an' me don' like lookin' scared. "Hikari-san'll be fine."
"Yeah, but what's gonna happen when Hikari-san has her baby? She'll be too busy, who's gunna look after me? Will I hafta go to my real Okaa? I don' wanna go! I don' even remember her!" I say, quiet.
"You don' hafta go. You promised you wouldn' go! You can stay with Mummy an' Bran an' me," Shun'u says to me.
"I wonder where Okaa-san is now," I say.
"Mebbe she's with my Daddy," Shun'u says, thoughtfully.
"Mebbe," I agree. We're quiet after that. After a while, a nurse dressed completely in green comes out to see us.
"You're waiting to see Hito Hikari? She's ready to see you." We followed the green nurse along lotsa corridors.
"Why're ya dressed in green an' the other nurses aren't?" I asked, curiously.
"Because they've got no fashion sense," she replied, crisply, "although technically, I'm not a nurse yet, I'm at my final year at uni." The big words made no sense to me so I jus' shut my mouth an' nodded.
"Is she your mother?" the nurse asked. Sora-san looked at me.
"No," I said, addin' quickly, "but she's my stepmother." The nurse nodded and opened the door to Hikari-san's room. Uncle looked up, beamin', an' Hikari-san smiled up at us, lookin' tired. In her arms was a small bundle. I thought it was a pillow or somethin' but she called me over an' said to it,
"This is your Onii-san." I looked down at it. Pink face. Pink ears. Two ears, a nose and ten little toes. It was perfect.
"Oh! Adorable!" Sorcha squealed. She clapped her hands together, sayin', "What're you going to call it?"
Hikari-san smiled at me. "I thought we could let Kouji choose. It is his brother too, after all."
"Me?!" I asked. My smile nearly ripped my face in two. I looked down at the baby an' tried to think of a name. A good name.
"Why don't you hold him?" Uncle suggested. I scooped it up. It was real heavy an' gurgled like a sink havin' milk poured down it at me. But I couldn' call it 'nagashi' [sink]. Then I knew what to call him.
"Hikari-san?"
"Yes?"
"Can we call it 'Fuyu' [winter]?" I asked. Shun'u cheered.
"Yeah! Call it Fuyu! An' then ya can have three other babies for the other seasons!"
Hikari laughed an' took Fuyu from me. "I think two is enough for me!" she said.
"Two? What do ya mean? Are ya havin' another baby?" I asked. She looked at me, real surprised.
"I meant you, Kouji," she said. I felt my eyes fill with tears but I blinked 'em away so I didn' look like I was blubbin' or anythin'.
"Th-thankyou... Hikari-chan," I said, because then I knew everythin' would be alright. That Hikari thought of me like her kid too. That she wouldn' forget me. Hikari's eyes filled with tears an' I realised that I'd called her Hikari-chan for the firs' time. And she liked it.
"Hikari-chan?" I asked.
"Yes?" she asked, tryin' not to sob.
"Is it a girl or a boy?" I asked, lookin' down at the blob of a baby. She blinked.
"It's a boy," she said.
"I have an otouto!" I said, happily. "I knew it!" Then I hesitated, before askin', "Hikari-chan?"
"Yes?" The answer sounded all worried.
"He won' let go of my finger!"
Shun'u
After Fuyu was born, everythin' seemed to be gettin' better. I was gettin' good grades at school an' Mum was real proud'a me. Things were all happy an' everyday seemed so good that only a few things from then really stick out in m'mind. The firs' one is my eighth birthday.
Me an' Kouji's seventh birthdays weren' that special. Hikari was really pregnant and it was no fun, but the eight ones were good. Kouji had a party for his. He's older'n me an' because his stepdad was outta town, he celebrated his birthday early with him an' Hikari, then on his birthday, he had a party. I came an' even though I din' give's a real good present, 'e was happy I came.
My birthday was differen'. I asked Mum if we could celebrate it. She shot a sad look at Hikari-chan as if ta say, 'Whadda we do 'bout money?'
I said, real quick, "Don' worry, I jus' wan' it a be with us four. I don' what."
An' that's how Hikari wound up takin' me, Mum, Kouji and herself to eat at the new restaurant on our street. She'n Kouji'd eaten there before an' they said it was good fer a feed an' not that expensive. But things weren' all that good. The waiter kept callin' Mum'n me Hikari an' Kouji's 'visitors' an' when we tried to order our food, he spoke real slow to me, as if I was stupid or somethin'. I figgered mebbe he was an' asked Mum, in front of him,
"Why's he talkin' all funny? Is he stupid or somethin'? Should I talk slow back?"
Mum said, lookin' straight at him, "Ignore him, Shun'u-chan, he's being very rude becaus he thinks we're gaijin [foreigners]."
The waiter turned bright red an' when our food arrived, it was with a waitress instead. She wasn' much better. She kept lookin' at m'n Mum's hair and said,
"Where're ya from?"
"Down the road," Mum said, stiffly.
"I mean, what country're ya from?" the waitress said.
"Japan," Mum said, "My son and I were born here."
"Nah," the waitress said, soundin' angry, "I mean before."
"Ireland," I said, tryin' to shut 'er up. The waitress smiled at me an' put my food down. She did everyone else's food an' then walked off. It was good food an' we talked for a while, but Mum's lips were pursed together like she was angry, an' the other customers kept givin' us funny looks. After we left, she spoke angryily about the rude people to Hikari, while Kouji'n me played with my presents in my room.
The other thing I remember well from then was more important, but it didn' seem that way at the time. Fuyu was a toddler an' about two. Me'n Kouji were nearly nine. Hikari and Mum were busy an' it was at my house but Kouji'n me were real hungry an' tryin' to cook somethin', I can' remember what. Problem was, no matter how long we put it in the oven, it wouldn' go hot. Then Kouji came up with this bright idea when he saw Fuyu goin' past.
"I know! Let's put Fuyu in the oven! He's smart an' if it gets hot, he'll tell us, right?"
"Car!" Fuyu said, holding up his toy train.
"I think that means 'yeah'," I said. So we put him in the oven an' turned it on, but left the door open a bit so we could hear him. All we could hear were 'brrm brrm' noises as he played with his train. Nothin' happened an' after a while, Hikari came along and asked us,
"Where's Fuyu?"
"Oh, he's in the oven," Kouji said.
"WHAT?!" she snapped.
"That's okay, it's not workin'," I said, cheerfully. She peered at the oven, turned it off and pulled Fuyu out.
"Car!" he said, happily, holding up the train. She put her hand in the oven an' pulled it out with relief.
"Cold," she said. She then looked at us, real angry. I dunno why. "What in the world were you thinking?! You don't put your brother in the oven!"
"But it wasn' workin'!" Kouji whined.
"That's not the point! What if it was!" she snapped.
"He would've said an' we'd've got'm out,"
I said. Mum came along then an' Hikari told 'er what happened. They yelled
at us for a while then called the oven-repair man. They laughed about it
later though, after dinner. They were jus' happy Fuyu was okay. They made
us promise never to go in the oven again or put anythin' in it except for
food. The same went for the washin' and dryin' machines and the vacuum
cleaner. The vacuum cleaner bit was annoyin' because Kouji'n me liked makin'
it be a hurricane when we played with our toys, but that was okay.
Kouji
The oven-repair man came the next day. It was a Saturday an' Shun'u'n me watched him. Well, really, I watched 'im an' Shun'u made stuff out of paper. He's weird, he likes making stuff. Some of it is cool, like paper swords an' stuff, some've it is weird. He once made a fan and kept whackin' me with it an' going 'Rekka Shinen.' Some of it is really weird. He likes makin' jewelery an' stuff. He made a necklace for his Sorcha-san's birthday and now was making another necklace now, a small and stumpy one. His Mum's had beads, this one didn'. I jus' watched the oven guy so that if our oven breaks, I can fix it. The man was friendly an' showed me where all the wires go.
"C'mon, Kouji! I wanna play now!" Shun'u whined.
"It's your oven! You should be watchin' too!" I said. "You're jus' making necklaces like a girl!" Shun'u picked up the necklace an' put it on me, sayin',
"See! It's not a girl necklace! You're wearin' it!"
"Hikari-chan! Sora-san! Shun'u put a necklace on me!" I called.
"Dobber!" Shun'u said, "An' it's not a girl's necklace anyway!" Sora-san came up an' looked at me.
"Actually, Shun'u's right. It's a torc, Irish men used to wear them. I think I might have a picture somewhere," she said. She looked around in a drawer, which I don' think I've ever seen open before. Shun'u an' I looked over her shoulder.
"What's that?" Shun'u asked.
"A photo album. You can get it out, if you want, but that's not what I was looking for. Ah, here it is!" Sora pulled out a big book.
"What is it?" I asked.
"A book of Irish myths," Sora-san replied. Shun'u looked distant.
"I remember Daddy reading these to me. Why'd ya put it away?" he asked.
"I can't read English," Sora-san said, sadly. She flicked through the pages an' found a picture. In it was a picture of a man wearing a necklace like the one Shun'u made, but made of metal. "A torc," Sora-san said. She sighed. "I wish I could read it, there are some great stories in here, but they're all in English. Maybe if you keep studying hard, you'll be able to read it someday, Shun-chan."
"Sensei sez that if I keep readin' stuff in English, I'll be really ahead an' all," Shun'u said. He looked inside the book. "It's too hard," he said, disappointed.
"You might be able to read the captions in the photo albums, they're short," Sora-san said. Shun'u looked in it.
"Hey! I can see my name! Is that me, Mum?" he asked. He always calls his Okaa 'Mum'. I dunno why.
"Yeah, that's you. And that's your Daddy," Sora-san said. Shun'u looked at it.
"Daddy," he whispered. He turned back to the drawer. "Do you have anythin' else in English I can read Mum. This is hard." He pulled out a letter. "What about this?" He pulled out a letter.
"That'd be too hard," Sora-san snapped
an' put it back. Something was up. Shun'u looked at me an' put the photo
album back. But we kept the picture book an' after a few months, Shun'u
had read the whole thing and translated it. He can speak English, which
is really cool. I'm not good at English an' can' read it at all, but Shun'u
learnt to read an' now he can talk English real easy. I wish I was smart
like him. I'm not good at anythin'. He always gets good grades and his
Mummy smiles. Hikari smiles at my grades but I know that Uncle wishes I
did better. I wish I did. I wish I was smart.
***********
Shun'u looked again at the translation of the letter. It was on his bed and he still couldn't believe what it said. He read it once again then sobbed. The tears kept going down his face and wouldn't stop.
"Mum! Mum!" he wailed. Sorcha ran in the room.
"What is is?" she asked. She saw his face. "Are you hurt?"
"Read this," he said, pushing both the original letter and the translation in her hands. Her face hardened.
"I thought I told you not to go near that drawer," she snapped.
"Read it!" Shun'u wailed, nearly hysterical. She did so. Then she broke down too, both of them crying on the bed together. The letter and its translation fell on the floor.
Dear SorchaO'Malley,
My name is Eliza and I am writing to you about Finn, my brother. There is no easy way to say this. He is dead. He died a week ago in a car accident. I am truly sorry for your loss. I know he loves you and his son. I know that he intended to return to Japan today, the day I post this. I found the plane ticket on his dresser, with the engagement ring he wished to give you. He spoke of nothing but you when he was here, and his father was overjoyed to hear about his grandson. Finn's funeral is on the 28th, we welcome you, if you can make it. I am truly sorry about this, and wish I could meet you. If you wish, call me, the number is on the bottom of this letter. I know my brother loved you and he felt no pain as he died, it was instantaneous. Please, forgive him for coming to Ireland. It is a tragic irony that he came to farewell his father but died himself, while his father lives.
With deepest sympathy,
Eliza O'Malley
************
Shun'u
"He's dead, Hikari, he's dead!"
"Finn."
"He was dead all along, that's why he never came back. The letter... that damned letter. I couldn't read it. Shun'u translated it... Hikari, how did he do it? He's nine years old! And he's dead, he's dead, Finn's dead... he's dead..."
"Please, do come, come soon."
Why did I even go near the letter? Why did I even bother lookin' the past? I wasn' to know what it said, but I shouldn' have gone near it. Mum was right. Mum is always right. An' Daddy won't be coming back. He's gone. He's gone forever. He's dead.
Hikari speaks quietly to Mum in the other room. I stay quiet in my room. Kouji doesn' know what to say. He don' have a Mum. He don' have a Dad. He don' have no one. He jus' has me, Hikari and Mum. But I had a Daddy. And now... I don't. I never did. He was dead all that time, we jus' didn' know it. This is the wors' thing that could happen. So long as we didn' know, we could always imagine Daddy comin' back. Now we know he won', he really won'. I don' know if we can ever get out of this. Everytime somethin' good happens, everytime we're happy, somethin' like this happens. Maybe this is all we have ta look forward to. Maybe we're doomed. Maybe.
*********
Kouji
I don' understand, I don' think I ever really will. I've always been alone like this. What I think is that it's not so much Shun'us father which mattered, it was the idea of him. That he would come back. Now that's gone too. Shun'u won' stop cryin'. I don' think it's him so much as his mother which is crying. She's cryin' out of him too. How could he miss someone he barely even remembers? I don' understand.
Shun'u's lookin' up at me now. His eyes are as red as his hair. He looks pale.
"Wilya always be there, Kouji? Always?" I can' look at his eyes. I dunno if I can. Always is a long time. A real long time. It's forever. Like when we're old and dyin'. But this is Shun'u. He's everythin'. Hikari loves me but Fuyu is her son. Not me. Never me. All I have is Shun-chan. He's like my brother. I've gotta be there for him. Gotta.
I hug Shun'u, feelin' stupid, and say, "I swear. I swear I'll always be there. We promised, remember?" An' we did. A long time ago, but we did.
Shun'u looks up at me. "Yeah, we did, didn' we? But it was differen', wasn' it?" He looks at Bran. "Why did he go, Bran? Why did he have to die?" Bran says nothin'. "Answer me, dammit!" he yells in English. He picks up Bran an' throws him at the wall. Bran stays where he lands, in a pile on the floor. Shun'u's looks back at me. "He won't talk. He doesn't talk anymore. I don't think he'll ever talk again." And he starts to cry again, because we both know it's true, Bran's gone forever. But Shun'u won't get rid of him, never. He's special. Shun'u curls up into a ball, his face in his knees.
"Don' cry. You've still got me," I say. Shun'u looks tearfully up at me.
"You're right..." he says, slowly. "Kouji?"
"Yeah?" I ask.
"Y'know how in that book we got in the library, the people became blood brothers... let's do that," Shun'u says. I nod.
"Yeah, cuz we're brothers already, this
just makes it real," I say. He nods too. We both look around. "Whadda we
use to cut our fingers with?" I ask. Shun'u fingers his teeth. I wince
an' hold out my finger. He bites it carefully an' the blood wells up. "If
I feel ya suckin', I'm runnin', 'kay?" I ask, laughin' nervously. Shun'u
shoots a fanged grin at me then bites his own finger. The blood comes out
and we hold our fingers together, then wrap a tissue around the bleeding.
It turns red, soaking up out blood. Our blood. We don' know whose is whose
now, it's just ours. We're brothers. And we sit together, listening to
Sora-san crying to Hikari-chan in the next room, wondering if they feel
the same.
Skipsida's Ravings:
And about time! It's over! This has been a long and emotional chapter and been greatly delayed in its writing. The first page or so took three weeks to write. The rest I wrote today. I got over my writers block because the best part is coming up! Beware, angst is emerging! They still are cute little kids though, wait until they get older!
Originally this chapter was to be longer, up to when Genrou was thirteen (and gained the name "Genrou"), but I figured this was as good a place as any to stop. So I stopped! :-P
No, seriously, I thought I'd better not keep you, the loyal readers *nervously, wondering if everyone's forgotten about this fic* waiting.
So what's happened to me in this time? Well, I've got a third set of holes put in my ears and written 60 pages for my original fic, the main reason this has been delayed for so long. Does anyone feel like reading my original fic? Email me or leave a review and who knows, I might put it up. I must warn you, it's pretty long. Longer than "What if" by far! And it's still incompleted. *sighs* Sometimes I feel as if I'll never finish everything I write. But this is half way through and I'm planning the Ryuuen chapter and am thinking about writing a humour piece for Ashitare (unrelated to "What if"). I've had the humour bug lately so it's been hard to write angst.
So, what did everyone think of this chapter?
Did you remember I'm still here? *waves* Hi! Now for....
What about... the akugi #1?
Kouji: What do we use to cut ourselves
with?
Shun'u: *pulls out razor blade* What else?
All good depressives can't live without these!
Kouji: Don't you mean die?
Skipsida: *runs in* Ew! Suicide jokes!
Cut it out! *takes razor blade and throws it in the bin*
Shun'u: Noooo! How can I die... er, I
mean LIVE without it?
Skipsida: Let's end this akugi here, okay?
*shakes head*
What about... the akugi #2?
Kouji: What do we use to cut ourselves
with?
Shun'u: *fingers teeth*
Kouji: O.O WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU DOING
WITH YOUR TEETH THERE?!
Skipsida: AH! Hentai! *slaps them both*
What about the clean and non-perverted or suicidal akugi #3?
Kouji: What do we use to cut ourselves
with?
Shun'u: *fingers teeth*
Kouji: Wow, Shun'u! You've got teeth like
a vampire! Uh... why are you biting my neck?
Shun'u: Count Tasukula at your service!
Kouji: *vampirised* Vee are zee gruezome
twosome! *dramatic poses with dark cloaks*