Disclaimer: *sings* All I want for Xmas is Fushigi Yuugi...
Finally! An update! Celebrate, people! Exams are over, it's now the summer holidays! Or, for me it is at least! Sooo, I thought I'd better get updating. It's been agony to not update, actually. Why? Well, I've had the first few scenes of this chapter in my head for over a month now, if I could have, I would have written it as soon as finishing the last chapter. Unfortunately, that was impossible. *sighs* I'll try to update as much as possible in this holidays, but due to the fact that my folks are getting divorsed and as a result, I'm moving house, that might not be very often. I'm already dedicating all my spare time to writing as it is. How cool is this? My novel is now 100 typed up pages long!!! And that's 11 chapters! Happy! Still got a lot to go. I've planned out the story so I know roughly what goes in each chapter, but the chapters range in length, from 7 pages to 11+. My novel has been occupying all of my time, I guess, but never fear! I still won't neglect this! Or the other zillion and one fanfic ideas buzzing through my head. ^__^ V
A lot of you readers are violent, you know? I've had people requesting that Shun'u kill Shimo/Yume/Hiro. Hmmm, much as it is tempting to have Shun'u slowly torture Shimo to death, feeding the bastard his own liver, and the likes, remember, this is "What about" here. No happy ending is guaranteed... but then again...
And I'd better warn you. This chapter is the one where the swearing, violence and all that other stuff crops up. Sex? Well, I don't write in scenes like that, but there are references to *cough* copulation. Sorry, it was necessary to the story.
Oh, by the way, if you've got the music Do=Be's ga Yatte Kuru/The Do=Be's Come, Deep by Nine Inch Nails and Beautiful Day by U2, get your CD/MP3/whatever ready. They are used in this chapter for BGM at some points.
Chapter 4 - Phantom Wolf
Where am I? What's going on?
Darkness. Blackness. Kouji shivered.
Hello? he called again.
Yo, a voice replied, far away, but growing nearer. Kouji took a look at the man as he appeared. Red hair, a lazy grin. He looked like Shun'u, except different. He had an air of confidence and power that Shun'u never had.
Who are you? Where are we? Kouji asked, knowing he should be panicking, but somehow, all he felt was a cold fear.
Cool it, man, we're jus' in th' void, the man replied, amused. An' I'm Genrou.
What's the void? Kouji asked, looking around at the black emptiness around them.
We go here when we pass out. When ya wake up, it seems like a dream'n all, but ya know it isn' when y'r here. Hell creepy place, full of people y' haven' seen for years, some y'd swear were dead'n all, but they ain't here. Time doesn' exist in this place, y'see? You don' always see the same people twice. Can' choose when ya go either, ya either wake up or die. Either way, you don' stay here forever, Genrou said, sprawled out and floating lazily.
Kouji heard a familiar voice and turned around. Kouji? Kouji! What're ya doing here?
Shun'u! You're here! he said, in relief, seeing it was Shun'u, and they leapt out and hugged each other. This place is so creepy.
Y' get used to it. I'm here a helluva lot when I drink, Genrou said. He fixed an eye on Shun'u, hesitated, then shrugged. He then looked at Kouji. Your name Kouji? Yeah, I c'n see, y'look a lot like him. You mus' be him as a kid.
Huh? Kouji asked, confused.
Kouji, he's me best mate. He'll wake me up any minute soon, cos I'm actually blind drunk, Genrou said, proudly, most sake I ever drunk in my life. Good shit too.
How do you know he'll wake you up? Shun'u asked, skeptically.
You know Kouji, the sorta guy who'd give you water when y' have a hangover, and give you sake when ya don't, retorted Genrou, with a shrug, of course he'll wake me up! Woncha? He directed his last comment to Kouji.
Kouji shrugged. I don' even know you. But I guess I would, if we're best mates.
See? Genrou aimed his comment at Shun'u. He's the best.
Yeah, he saved me, called the doctors an' all, Shun'u agreed.
Is that why y'r here? Genrou asked.
Yeah, I beat up my Dad. He put me in hospital though, Shun'u said, allowing a little pride to slip into his voice.
Yeah? Goodonya, mate! The fucker deserved it, I bet! Genrou crowed. I've been 'ere before fer stuff like that a lot. I'm always beatin' up the bad guys an' all. Kouji an' me, we always save the day.
You do? Shun'u asked.
Genrou grinned. Fuck, yeah! Would I lie? Hey, lil' Kouji, you grow strong, become my mate, eh? An' look after yerself. An' mebbe, mebbe you can change the future. An' you, Shun'u... He looked at Shun'u, carefully. He shook his head and sighed. Ya gotta be strong too. You can change things in the future. Kouji has a mate called Shun'u. You gotta look after Rei...
He trailed off as he started to fade.
See? he addressed the others. That'd be Kouji wakin' me up. Any secon' an...
He vanished, leaving Shun'u and Kouji on their own.
He is so cool! Shun'u said, enthusiastically. I wanna be like him. I've talked to him before, he's a bandit, y'know?
Yeah, Kouji said, faintly. He was finding it hard to think, feeling insubstantial as a breath of smoke.
Why're you here? Shun'u asked Kouji. I've been 'ere so long, but never seen anyone I know.
I can't remember, Kouji said, trying to think. Seems like a dream... waves... His eyes opened wide. Shun'u, I think I'm dyin'...
What?! Shun'u gasped.
I... jumped off the jetty, I'm drownin' Kouji whispered.
Kouji! We've gotta save ya! Shun'u shouted, panicking.
Let me die, pleaded Kouji.
No! screamed Shun'u. We either go together or not at all! An' I don' wanna die, so you're not gonna either!
What're ya gonna do? Kouji asked, miserably.
Wake up, that's what! Shun'u said.
How? Kouji challenged.
Watch me! Shun'u said, stubbornly. He concentrated, and slowly began to fade. Very slowly. He had to struggle every second, fighting the drugs, the anaestatics which kept him sleeping. Little by little, he became transparent, then finally, he disappeared completely, leaving Kouji on his own.
*********
Sorcha sat by Shun'u's bed, silent. The doctors had him anaestatised again, the damage to his organs had been worse than previously thought. They still hadn't told Kouji, as they were unsure how he'd take the news.
All at once, Shun'u began to stir and his eyes snapped open.
"Shun-chan!" Sorcha gasped.
"Mum. It's Kouji. Y' need to find him, he's dying. Call an ambulance, he's near the jetty," Shun'u said. He sank back down, exhausted.
Sorcha regarded him, uneasily. Shun'u was on a lot of morphine, but his voice, it sounded so urgent.
Seeing his mother's face, Shun'u tried again. "Mum, it's urgent!" he wailed. "Ask the school! He didn't arrive!"
Hikari walked in the room, oblivious to their plight. "Sorcha, have you seen Kouji?" she asked. "He skipped school..." She saw Shun'u awake and trailed off.
"Shit..." Sorcha muttered, and ran out the room.
Hikari looked at Shun'u. "What was all that about?" she asked, worried.
Shun'u didn't answer. He was already falling asleep.
**********
Shun'u
I've been havin' the strangest dream. I dreamt that Kouji had been rushed in, an' put in the bed next to me. I dreamed that Mum and Hikari-chan were crying, thinkin' they were gonna lose both of us. But it isn't a dream, is it?
I open my eyes and see Kouji, asleep in the bed next to me. He isn' on an oxygen mask or anythin'. I dreamt he was. Mebbe he's better now.
He opens his eyes and I smile shakily at him.
"Hey," I say, quietly.
"Hey," he replies, lookin' scared. "Where am I?"
"In hospital, ya nong. Don' ya ever try t' kill yerself again, y'hear me?" I order. "Bad enough Shimo nearly did."
"Yeah." Kouji stays silent, after that.
Nurse Tanuki comes in, dressed in a really blindin' shade of lime, as usual.
"You have a lot to thank this young man for," she lectures Kouji, "he saved you, you know? He woke up and told his mother where to find you. You had already been fished out of the water by fishermen, but no one had thought to ring an ambulance. You could have died!"
Kouji nods, and blinks once. He seems quiet, distant.
"Hey, forget it, man," I say. "You're m'best mate. Of course you couldn' die!" This seems to spark a memory for him, the same one as me.
"Did you dream that too?" Kouji asked.
I nodded. "Yeah." We both smile. "But I can hardly remember it."
"Me neither."
We lie there, not needin' to feel the silence with any crappy words or nuthin'. We don' need to.
**********
"Sora-chan," Kouji called.
"Wait on, Kouji-chan, I'm getting dressed. Court case today, remember?" Sorcha replied, through the bedroom door. "Don't worry, we'll win this, then we'll be okay. We can live somewhere better..."
"Sora-chan! It's important! It's Shimo! He's dead!"
"What?!" Sorcha opened the door, in shock. One look at his face confirmed what he had said. "Shit..."
"He killed himself, the bastard!" Hikari sobbed, still holding the phone. "Oh Sorcha! Now what are we going to do?"
Sorcha's heart sank as she realised Shimo had finally had the last laugh. As the tears of despair started, she felt all their dreams of normality shatter completely.
**********
Sorcha skim-read the will, feeling more and more despairing at each word.
"He left it all to his wife. That woman we saw, he married her a few days ago, and left it all to her. All of it. Except a set sum of money to Fuyu, for when he turns eighteen." Her sob turned slightly hysterical. "He's richer than both of us put together but he can't even touch the money." Her voice shook, as she knew how much in debt she and Hikari were, due to the hospital fees. She dropped her copy of the will, and Hikari picked it up, forcing herself to finish reading it.
"Listen to this," she said, quietly, her voice full of a silent sorrow and rage. "'And to my son, Kouji, I leave the truth: his birth certificate. Just in case he didn't believe me the last time I saw him.'" She opened the envelope and read the name. "He really was Kouji's father. I thought he was being malicious... Of course he'll live with us, but Sorcha, let's not tell anyone about Fuyu's money. You know why." Her voice was pained.
Sorcha nodded. "We can't let Shimo's spite beat us. Let's hide the will and Kouji's birth certificate. He already knows, he hates himself for it. And Fuyu can't grow up with the guilt of knowing he can't save us, or worse, grow up feeling arrogant. We'll hide this all until the right time."
**********
"Shun'u's grades have fallen," Sorcha sighed, "I'm worried about him."
"That's to be expected," soothed Hikari, "they're both at new schools, and missed so much work after being in hospital, after the court case and after Shimo's death. He always got A's before, he'll pick right up again."
"I don't know, Hikari-chan. I'm worried about him..."
*********
"Gaijin!"
"Gaijin!"
"Fuck off! Leave me alone!"
********
"And I'm worried about how we're going to live. Three children... and when the baby is born, four. Babies are so expensive. But I can't abort it... you know that..."
"I'm not asking you to," Hikari said, comforting her friend. "Once the baby is born, we'll be better off, you'll see. You'll get a great job and we'll all be happy. Only a few weeks to go."
"But until then..."
********
"Aniki?" Fuyu asked, pulling on Kouji's shorts. He had only started school a few days ago, and had quickly made friends. "I'm hungry, aniki. C'n I have some money t' buy some more lunch?"
"Feh. Don' bother askin' him, he don' have any money," someone called. Kouji turned crimson with anger and embarrassment. He was about to say something, but Shun'u stepped in.
"Shuddup, y' arsehole! This school is shit, and so're you! It's not as if ya're much better!" he shouted.
"Then go back to ya hell posh school! We don' wancha here!"
********
"And the school called yesterday. Shun'u was in another fight."
"Shhh," Hikari ordered, "enough. They'll hear you."
She reached over and turned out the touchlamp between her bed and Sorcha's, then curled over and fell asleep instantly. Sorcha sighed, a tear trickling down her face.
"You'll work yourself to death," she whispered, to Hikari's sleeping form. Hikari had been working double-shifts lately, but still they had a negative income. "I'm sorry I'm so useless..."
She stopped as she heard a noise, and Fuyu walked into the room.
"She's asleep, Fuyu," she whispered, "don't wake her."
"I had a bad dream," Fuyu whispered back, "can I come in bed with you, Sora-chan?"
She leaned over and picked him up, surprised at how he'd grown bigger. Or maybe she was weaker, with her huge stomach. Fuyu placed his hands on her belly.
"When will the baby be born, Sora-chan? Soon?" he asked.
"Soon, soon," Sorcha replied, quietly, gesturing for him to be quiet.
"I can feel it moving," he whispered. When he finally fell asleep, it was with one hand over the baby's foot, and Sorcha's arms around him.
*********
Shun'u
Hospital again. I can' seem t' escape. But this time, it's cos of Mum. The baby was born yesterday an' we've come t' visit. I look around fer the nurse I know but Tanuki-san isn' there. They said she's been transferred to Tokyo. Another nurse comes in, and leads us into Mum's room.
Mum is lyin' on her bed, lookin' tired but she has a smile on her face. She shows me the baby. A sister, she says. An' I can name her. I wanna say "Haru!" [spring] and suggest that Kouji an' me change our names to Natsu [summer] an' Aki [autumn], to fit in with Fuyu, but somethin' stops me. I see her lil face an' know that Haru jus' isn' right. What's a good name? Rei. Rei...ka. Reika.
"Let's call her Reika," I say. Kouji shoots me a startled glance, then we all smile.
"Reika it is."
*********
Kouji
Why is it that when everything starts t' look up, it all goes crashin' down? Our move t' Tokyo, when we were thirteen, was s'posed ta make everythin' so much better. Okaa-chan was s'posed to get a great job there'n so was Sora-chan. Reika was old enough ta be left at daycare. We packed up everythin', sold a lot of our stuff ta afford the move an' when we finally got there, the promised job was given t' someone needin' a promotion in the company, an' we were stranded in Tokyo. No job for Okaa or Sora-chan, nothin'. An' we couldn't even afford ta go home. Okaa eventually found a job, but it weren' a real good one. All money went towards food an' payin' for school. An' Reika was th' most expensive one of all. Sora-chan eventually had t' leave her at daycare but her job earnt barely enough t' pay for it. Shun-chan an' I knew all of this was happenin' but what could we do? Nuthin'. Absolutely nuthin'. But we tried. We got used to feelin' hungry, eatin' only a little cos then if there was extra food an' we refused it, Sora-chan and Okaa-chan ate it. They needed it more'n us, they worked all day an' were always tired.
But at th' moment, it's the least of our worries. It's the firs' day of school...
*********
"Hey, newboy. What's your name?"
"Me? 'm Kouji."
"What about your mate? He speak Japanese?"
"Prob'ly better'n you!"
"Heh. Whaddya know, the gaijin speaks Japanese. What's yer name, gaijin?"
"I'm not a gaijin! I was born 'ere! 'm Shun'u."
"Shun'u? As if! Red hair? You're a gaijin. So what's your real name?"
"I said it wuz Shun'u! What's ya problem?"
"C'mon, gaijin, we'll make it easy for you and your mate, seeing as you don't even speak real Japanese. You've got red hair. You've got to be Irish. So don't lie, what's your real name? We won't tease you for it."
They moved closer towards Shun'u and Shun'u and Kouji instinctively moved closer together.
"I said m'name is Shun'u!"
"Let's guess his real name."
Hands reach towards Shun'u's hair and pull it painfully.
"Is it Seamus?"
Shake head.
"Dougal?"
Shake head.
"Or Patrick. Yes, Patrick for the little Irish boy."
That did it. Shun'u lost his temper. He pulled his fist back and punched the ringleader right in his smug face. The others closed in and he shoved them aside, his rage giving him strength. Kouji joined in and together, they moved in a blur, back to back, fighting off their peers.
Shun'u stopped, panting, as the last one stepped back.
"Hear this, ya scum! So my name ain't Shun'u. So what? Ya really wanna hear my name? It's Genrou. Phantom wolf. An' doncha forget it!"
With that, he stormed off and Kouji hurried after him, until they fell into pace together.
"Genrou? Where'd ya pull that from?" Kouji asked.
Shun'u shrugged. "Buggered if I know. It jus' seemed right. Guess I'm Genrou now, or at least to them."
************
"A fight on your first day of school? Shun!"
"Mum! They called me a gaijin!"
Sorcha's lips tightened. "Then I suppose you gave them what they deserved."
And that was the last said about it.
***********
Sorcha sat down, exhausted. Hikari noticed, finished serving her customers then walked over to her.
"Are you okay?" she asked, concerned.
"Tired. Not used to working, I suppose. I'll just have to get fit again," Sorcha replied, tiredly.
Hikari looked at her doubtfully, but said nothing. Sorcha wouldn't admit defeat until she passed out. It was how she'd coped with looking after Shun'u all those years ago, and she didn't seem likely to change. Instead of scolding her friend, Hikari gave her a concerned smile then, noticing someone at the counter, headed at the till and gave the customary, "Hi, may I help you?"
**************
Genrou
I don' ever bring lunch to school. Less food, cheaper. I eat at home, it keeps me goin'. Kouji does the same. We can handle it. But Fuyu is th' worry. Reika always eats okay but even though we all try, Fuyu jus' doesn' get enough but he tries t' eat less like us. Kouji an' I can take it, altho Kouji is now skin an' bones, but Fuyu needs ta eat. That's why we're we're here at the moment.
We're in the locker-rooms. It's lesson at th' momen' an' Kouji an' I said we were goin' to the toilet. What we're really doin' is searchin' through bags for a little food we can pinch. Not too much, or they'd notice, jus' a little. They've always got lots ta eat, they don' hafta go hungry. Why should we? They can go hungry for a day, it'd serve 'em right.
"What are you doing?" comes the voice. The lunch bell has rung an' people are comin' out. Oh crap. We were caught red-handed. "Gimme my lunch back, gaijin!"
He looks angry, an' I can jus' tell that he's about ta call th' teacher. I got in fights every day for th' firs' week of school but noone's stupid enough ta take on Kouji'n I now. Half the time the teachers don' do nothin' either, cos most've 'em are women an' scared. I've heard 'em whisperin' about me an' Kouji, they reckon we're feral, freaky. Screw 'em. I've only gotta put up with 'em until the end of the year, then there's the exams ta get into junior high school. It's not as if we'll be goin' anywhere flash anyway. Why would we? We can' afford anythin' an' we sure as hell won' be gettin' no scholarships.
Jus' before he yells out, tho, someone else intervenes. "Why should 'e?"
That accen' is like from home. I look up at 'im an' see a taller, older guy peering in thru the fence.
"A...arashi..." the kid stammers.
Arashi don' look too impressed. "Good. So ya still remember me. What's th' problem?"
"He's pinching my lunch!" the kid squeaks. He looks terrified.
"Yo. Grommit. What's ya name?" Arashi asks. He looks as if he expects me to cower or somethin'. Fat chance of that. I don' cower to no one.
"Genrou," I reply, definately.
He lets out a slow whistle. "Ya're the one they're all talkin' about. The crazy kid who gets inta fights all th' time. The name's Arashi."
"Hey," I say, not that impressed. So he's big. So what. I bet I could take 'im on any day.
Kouji isn' lookin' too impressed about bein' ignored. "Whaddya want anyway?"
"Then you'd be Kouji?" Arashi asks.
"How did ya know?" Kouji asks, suspicious.
"You two are famous. But I figgered ya'd be Kouji cos Genrou has red hair," Arashi drawls, but he looks impressed all the same.
At that point, a teacher came over. "Aoi-san. What are you doing here?"
"Jus' passin' thru," Arashi replies, lazily.
The teacher is not impressed. "You are in high school now, so get away from the primary school or we'll have you removed."
"Yeah, yeah, keep ya shirt on, I'm goin'," Arashi replies. The teacher waits, impatiently and Arashi rolls his eyes. "See ya around Genrou, Kouji," he says, an' gives us a lazy wink as he heads off.
The teacher turns to the kid an' us. "Is there a problem here?"
"N...no," the kid stammers.
"Good," the teacher replies, and walks off.
The kids look on in awe. "Arashi talked to you?"
"Freaky, man! Let's leave them alone!"
They all run off. Leavin' the lunch behind. Sweet! Kouji an' I go halves in the noodles, but give the rice to Fuyu. He eats it meekly. God knows what 'e's heard about us. But this time 'e's even quieter'n normal.
"Whassup, Fuyu?"
"The kids have been teasin' me about m' accen' an' they say all this stuff 'bout ya. Is it true?"
Fuyu looks up at us so trustin'ly an' I dunno how t' answer. Kouji does, tho.
"Depends what they've been sayin'. I reckon most've what they say is all rubbish anyway, they jus' hate us. But who's been pickin' on ya anyway?"
Fuyu points to a boy in the grade above him. He's laughin', surrounded by friends. Kouji lopes over to him an' there is instan' silence in the group. Kouji breaks it.
"Ya been pickin' on m' brother?"
"N...no," the kid manages to squeak.
Kouji eyes 'im an' picks 'im up by the collar an' pulls 'im up to eyelevel. He looks at the kid straight in the eye an' says, "Good. Ya'd better not've been."
He walks back to us. Fuyu looks up at 'im in a mixture of admiration an' fear. "He's gonna get me now, aniki."
"If 'e does, call us an' we'll beat the shit outta him. I promise."
**********
Kouji
Th' next time we see Arashi is on the way home from school. He is in a large group an' they are all sprawled on a wall on the side of the street, talkin' an' laughin'. I eye Genrou an' we both move closer t' Fuyu an' speed up.
"Oi! What's ya rush?" Arashi calls to us. We stopped an' I could see that Genrou is clencin' his fists, gettin' ready for a fight.
"Ya go on ahead, Fuyu," he hisses to Fuyu. Fuyu nods an' beats it. He's got 'is own house-key, 'e can get 'ome easily. The others don' follow, which is lucky. Instead they look at us an' Arashi blows out smoke from a cigarette he has partially hidden in 'is hand.
"Ya wanna hang around with us?" he asks.
Genrou an' I look at each other. We'd never even considered this before, but now it seems like we should, as if we really have a choice. But we don' really know what ta do. These are the firs' people who've acted friendly to us before in this place. But we c'n see now they're like us. The misfits, the people that the other kids are scared of. But they've banded t'gether an' now they aren' really misfits at all.
"Yeah, sure," a voice says. I realise it was me.
We climb up onto the fence next t' 'em an' for the firs' time since comin' t' Tokyo, we feel wanted.
**********
The group was a mixed bunch, as Genrou and Kouji soon found out, and of mixed ages. All of them were in high school, although in different ones, and Genrou and Kouji felt proud to be the only primary school kids.
There was Arashi, from the same district that they'd come from, who was the terror of students and teachers alike. He was the unvoted leader of the group, and also in the highest grade at high school. He was eagerly waiting until he reached the age when he was allowed to drop out of school and get a job.
Nami was the second in command. Not very bright, but pretty. She was failing school easily and was with them because no one else wanted her, for all her good looks.
Lanva was the second in command, a lech and smooth talker. He was smart but teachers hated him, perhaps because he seemed to know more than they did.
Yuki was a goth who had started in her grade halfway through her grade and who couldn't make her way into any of the popular groups. She seemed vaguely familiar to Genrou but he couldn't place where he knew her.
Yuuji was a creepy kid who resembled a rat in several ways. He was the sort of kid who would dob you into the teacher or hold your hands behind your back while Arashi screamed and spat in your face.
Chuuei and Shunkei were the flunkies. They stuck together and followed what the others said because they didn't want to be kicked out of the group. They were the yes-men.
Genrou and Kouji... well, they found that they fitted in okay. Being with them earnt them respect from the other kids in their school, and Fuyu spent the rest of the year unbothered. In fact, no one even went near him, they were scared. He spent most of his time playing with the girls, who accepted him, or alone, reading in the library. Kouji was worried about him but was unsure what to do about it. He couldn't bring a child that young into their group, the others wouldn't take it. Instead, Fuyu played with his imaginary friends when the girls played dolls, and when they didn't, jumped rope with them.
The problems their children suffered at school were largely unnoticed by Hikari and Sorcha. It wasn't because they didn't care, but because they were never even told. Despite the constant fights Genrou and Kouji got into, they never complained. Not once. Although they suspected something was amiss, and questioned their respective kids, they were assured they could fend for themselves. Hikari desperately wanted to intervene, but Sorcha refused to. She remembered how her parents had constantly complained to the school whenever she had faced even the slightest taunt, and refused to cause embarrassment for Genrou. She agreed only to contact the school if a serious incident occured, or if Genrou asked her to.
Through it all, Genrou remained firmly attached to his mother. Her attitude meant that he never felt distanced from her, but instead, knew that she genuinely understood. It was because of this, he never told her of his problems, out of concern that she had enough stress to cope with.
And Sorcha did have a lot of stress. She found it easier to get jobs than Hikari, having worked recently, but since neither had no formal qualifications, well-paying jobs were hard to find. They were forced to work long, and often unusual hours in order to earn enough money to eat. There were times when their paychecks were late and they found they had nothing to eat. It was at those times when Hikari wordlessly pulled out her guitar and she and Kouji busked on the streets. Sorcha had no music to offer, and Genrou didn't have a musical bone in his body, so they could do nothing. Sorcha couldn't bring herself to beg, she had her dignity, but there were times when Genrou just wished she had the strength to stand up to her employers and get paid more regularly. She never did. She was afraid of getting fired.
Time passed by, Genrou and Kouji had their thirteenth birthdays within weeks of each other, without much celebrating. Sorcha felt as if their lives were destined to be mundane and full of work. With a twelve hour shift as a waitress, how could you blame her? Her feet ached, she as overworked. However, things began to improve...
***********
"Miss, why do you work here?"
"I have no choice."
"Why not work some place else?"
"How can I? I'm not qualified."
"I've got a job going for ya. I own a pub and we're in need of a barmaid."
"A barmaid? But I have children... I can't work there!"
"It was just an idea. Consider it."
"Would you have a job offer for my friend?"
"Hito Hikari-san? Yes, but it would be a cleaning job during the day."
"I don't know..."
"It was just an idea. Here is my number, contact me. You're pretty and interesting enough looking to earn a small fortune in tips, I can tell you!"
"I'll consider it."
*********
Sorcha brushed her long red hair that night and told Hikari everything.
"Sorcha! Of course you'll accept it! Right away!"
"Ssh," Sorcha whispered, gesturing towards the other room, where all the children slept. They slept in the kitchen/family/dining room, which was closer to the door, so they didn't disturb the children when leaving early for work. Reika often slept in that room. She was one and a half years old, no longer in a cot, but still liked being near her mother for comfort.
Hikari calmed down. "Sorcha, this is terrific. You'd get paid well and..."
"Hikari, I have my pride. I just can't do it. I can't. I really can't. What would people think?"
"What people?" Hikari pointed out. Sorcha paused. Hikari had a point. They had no friends in this place apart from the other waitresses, who were as desperate for work as they were.
"Please," Hikari pleaded, "swallow your pride. This job offer is for you, you must take it. If it helps, think of the children. We can get a real house, with real bedrooms. A place big enough for all of us."
Sorcha sighed, defeated. She knew they needed the money. "It'll be a night-shift."
"You'll get more sleep. The shift is shorter."
"I hate to be away at night."
"I'll be there. And you'll be there during the day."
"I'll disturb everyone by coming in late. I don't want to be away from the children."
"They'll understand."
Sorcha nodded, and swallowed her pride. For so long, she'd thought it was the last thing she had left. Despite their condition, she'd never lost it. Now even it had to go. She had no choice. They had to eat.
"I'll do it."
**********
Sorcha walked home, utterly exhausted but thrilled. She entered the house and put down all she was carrying. Hikari stirred and woke up, to find Sorcha beaming.
"My first pay-check!" she announced, proudly, and showed Hikari. Hikari whooped with excitement then frowned. "Shouldn't it be more than that?"
Sorcha sighed. "They decided to pay me in booze as well."
"You drunk your paycheck?" screeched Hikari, but still keeping her voice low so as not to wake up the others.
"No," Sorcha said, slowly, "it's here." She showed Hikari the huge package on the table.
"It's beer," Hikari stated.
"Well, I can see that," sighed Sorcha. "What do we do with it?"
"I know someone we could sell it to," Hikari said, slowly. A grin broke over her face. "This is excellent!"
Sorcha looked at the clock. "Sorry I woke you up so early."
"Nah, I'd have to leave in a few hours anyway," Hikari assured her, "and this was welcome news." She sighed. "Please tell me the pub wasn't that messy last night. I'll have to clean it."
"It was fine," Sorcha laughed.
Hikari smiled. "Good."
She yawned and turned over, quickly falling asleep, and Sorcha collapsed onto the futon next to her, nearly squashing Reika, who was asleep there already. She kissed Reika on the forehead and she stirred in her sleep. Sorcha carried her back to her own futon then returned to her own. When she fell asleep, it was with a proud smile on her face. Thing were going to get better.
*********
"Hey, guess what?" Genrou called to Arashi, on the way to school.
"You've got false teeth?" Arashi teased, laughing.
"We're movin' house. We're gettin' a decen' place cos our mothers work at a pub," Kouji announced.
"At a pub? Wicked!" Lanva grinned. "Reckon we could get some free grog?"
"Prob'ly not," Genrou said, irritated, "an' sides, it wasn' that I was gonna tell ya anyway. We got inta ya high school, Arashi."
Arashi grinned. "We'd better warn th' teachers. They're gonna hafta run for cover now the wolves have headed our way."
Genrou grinned too, flashing the world his fangs in his happiness. "High school here we come..."
*********
The new house was bigger, with a small bedroom for Genrou, Kouji and Fuyu to share, a small bedroom for Sorcha, Hikari and Reika to share, a small family/dining room, tiny kitchen, tiny bathroom and tiny balcony. The whole place was small and rather run down, but the rent was fairly cheap. This was because the building wasn't earthquake proof and was a bit of a walk from train stations, bus stops and the subway, but mainly because the area was a bit rough.
But, it was the best they could find, and they simply put up with the freaky neighbours. However, Reika suffered a few nightmares after one of the neighbours found their spare key and let himself in, more than a little drunk, and passed out in their kitchen. After that, she screamed whenever anyone entered the room she was in. Kouji got into the habit of knocking and announcing his presence and Fuyu always called out "It's me!" before entering a room. Oddly enough, Genrou never had to. The mother, son and daughter seemed to share an almost telepathic bond, allowing them to know when was in danger or when one was near. Reika, when awake, always ran to the door seconds before Sorcha opened it, no matter what the time.
Sorcha soon found a few problems with her job, however. It seemed almost as if the happiness was not to last, when the pub owner went bankrupt, but she quickly found new jobs, both part-time, and generally their homelife was peaceful. Sorcha was thrilled that Genrou actually made it into a highschool, due to his poor grades, but he breezed the entrance exams, and Kouji, with his help, also managed to scrape through. If Hikari had known the real reason why their grades were bad, she would have been less than impressed, but until then, they all held the same air of excitement at the new start high school offered them.
*********
"Ya awake?" Kouji whispered to Genrou.
"Mmph?" Genrou mumbled, more asleep than awake. He turned over. "Yeah?" he asked, his voice still thick with sleep. He looked at the clock. "Geeze, it's too early ta be awake," he complained.
"Couldn' sleep any longer," Kouji said.
"Nervous?"
"Nervous? Why'd I be nervous?"
Genrou gave him a Look.
"Okay, jus' a little. You?"
"Nah. Excited. Think've it. We get a clean slate. They don' know us, we dunno them. They ain't gonna judge us or nothin'. They wouldn've heard've us or nothin'. We got nothin' t' worry 'bout, Kouji. We've got it made."
"Yeah. I guess so."
"An' sides, we're in this t'gether, right? So it won' be so bad."
"But..."
"Shuddup an' go back t' sleep."
Kouji meekly obeyed.
*********
Genrou
After all it'd been made out t' be, high school was nothin' big. In fact, it was borin'. But tech was cool. Better'n cool, in fact. It rocked. The tech teacher was an old guy, but real funny. He doesn' care that I'm gaijin, all 'e sees is the stuff I make. Jewellery, furniture, it's all easy. Kouji doesn' have it so easy. He was even afraid to go near th' electric saws! An' he's broken every machine in there at least once. But weirdly 'nuff, he's also fixed 'em all. The tech teacher doesn' know what t' make of him: a walkin' disaster or a portable fixin' machine? Cos he also fixes everyone elses stuff too, but can' make anythin' himself. Its like he can only modify what other people've worked on. Weird.
Of course, all the other classes sucked. And I mean sucked. I didn' do English, cos it's as borin' as hell t' have some teacher that doesn' even know how to speak properly t' try an' teach me, and 'sides, Kouji doesn't like it. I've mostly forgotten my English, but I know a lot more'n all the others who've studied it fer years. I jus' play stupid though, cos they expect me t' be good at it, to act gaijin. I'd never give 'em the satisfaction.
So yeah, everythin' is hard. Harder for Kouji'n me. I could do well if I wanted ta, be why bother when all the other kids would jus' think I'm a freak? Easier to fail an' spend lunch times with Arashi, smokin' behind th' toilets.
An' don' tease me, but listen to this. I got a girlfriend. Pretty lil thing too, called Doulin. She's so lil I feel like I'd crush her or somethin' just by breathin' on her. All girls are like that, weird and kinda freaky. But not Doulin. She's small but she's as tough as any boy, she plays basketball an' I even let her win. She'd probably beat me anyway, but that's not the point!
Anyway, I'll get Kouji to explain to ya exactly how it happened.
*********
Kouji
Okay, so ya wanna know about the whole Doulin saga. I'll tell ya. An' more 'sides, everythin' that happened because of the whole Doulin thin'.
Genrou met Doulin on the firs' day of school. She was surrounded by a small crowd of people, but that wasn' what caught Genrou's eye. What caught it was that like 'im, she had interestin' hair. White, t' be exact. They saw each other in the crowd an' smiled. Both had people askin' 'bout their hair an' tryin' t' touch it, so they felt like they shared somethin', or, at least, that's how Genrou put it. I wouldn' know. People in love are weird. Anyway, b'fore long, they were sitting next t' each other in class an' everythin', an' even talkin' at lunch time. I felt all left out an' hung with Arashi, but it wasn' th' same. He's m'mate, an', if truth be tol', I was jealous. But, cos he was m'mate, I helped him. Y'see, his problem was that he didn' know how t' ask her out. So I did the obvious, I wen' an' told her that he liked her. I didn' wan' t', but then again, cos Gen was unhappy, so was I. They arranged t'meet in the bikeshed. I hid an' watched. It went somethin' like this:
Genrou: Hi.
Doulin: Hi. So are you going to ask me out or am I going to have to?
Genrou blushed. Yeah, he actually blushed. Unbelievable. I wish I'd had a camera or somethin'!
Genrou: Will ya go out wiv me?
Doulin: Yeah.
At that point, she leant forward and puckered her lips an' they kissed. I watched an' felt kinda sick. I was jealous, really, really jealous. At that momen', I would've happily wrung 'er neck, cos she'd stolen m'mate. What did I do? Absolutely bloody nothin'. What could I do?
So Genrou and Doulin became GenrouanDoulin an' wen' everywhere together. An' I mean everywhere. He missed my company an' we hung around t'gether again, but he always brought bloody Doulin with him. Even when we hung around with Arashi an' our mates after school. An' that's prob'ly where most've th' problems started.
The scene wen' something like this...
Arashi: So you're Doulin?
Doulin: Yeah. (Looks at him straight in the eye)
Nami: Ooh, she's a pretty one, Genrou!
Doulin: (blush)
Lanva: And I bet she fucks like a tiger.
Doulin: (whacks him) Hentai!
Genrou: (angry at the others, who are all laughing) Hey guys, shut up! (puts an arm around Doulin. He blushes fiercely)
Yuuji: I know a place where you can get cheap condoms.
Genrou: (about to go completely aggro) You...!
Kouji: (steps forward and silences them all) Cool it, guys. Leave 'em alone. It's none've our business.
Genrou: (shoots him a grateful look) Yeah.
Doulin: I should get going.
Genrou: Kouji'n me'll walk ya home.
Doulin: (shrugs. They walk off)
Genrou: Whassup? Y're very quiet.
Doulin: I don't like your friends.
Genrou: (uncomfortable) I can' jus' dump 'em. They're m'mates. We've been friends since before high school. They're all talk, not usually like that.
Kouji: ... (thinking the complete opposite)
Doulin: Yeah, whatever you reckon. (stops outside her house) Seeya Gen-chan. (leans over and kisses him. They kiss for a while. Kouji starts to look embarrassed and shuffles his feet. They finally break away and Doulin goes inside)
Genrou: Man, isn' she somethin'? (in a daze)
Kouji: Yeah. (they head home in silence)
Genrou: Why're ya so quiet, man?
Kouji: Why d' ya always spend your time with her?
Genrou: (shrugs) She's m' girlfrien'. Y' do that.
Kouji: Have ya really done all that stuff th' others say ya do?
Genrou: Naw. (sighs)
Kouji: What's it like t' kiss a girl?
Genrou: She's got a friend. Want me t'set ya up?
Kouji: Nah. (sighs. They head inside in silence)
Doulin didn' hang around with our friends 'gain after that, an' they left 'er well alone. She had nuff spunk t' get rid've 'em if they bothered her an' she jus' didn' like 'em. But Gen an' me stuck with 'em. Thing is, they all did care, in their own weird ways. They tried t' get me a girlfrien' but I jus' wasn' interested. I jus' wanted Genrou back. He'd gone all funny, always talkin' 'bout her. The others got sick've it, said t' me they wished those two'd break up so he'd shut up 'bout her. Then Yuki pointed out that 'ed prob'ly go on about 'er even more, be all heartbroken. But they all put up with Genrou's ramblin' with mostly good natures.
Thing is, they all had assumed that Genrou'd slept with her. He pretended it too, boasted 'bout it even, but I knew he didn'. We were still as close as ever, 'e tol' me everything. I didn' have anythin' to tell in return, but it didn' seem t' bother 'im. But thing was, 'e was eager to do all th' things he said he did. I can' blame 'im. Who would? An' he obviously dreamt about what he wanted t' do too. But Doulin was funny. She didn' wanna. Genrou kept his cool for a few months but he's only human. One afternoon they went out t'gether, alone, an' he tried to make a serious move on her. She dumped him on the spot.
He was a mess, came t' me an' was almos' bawlin'. I fel' really stupid. What in the hell was I s'posed t' do? After a while, he stopped cryin' an got angry.
"Why didn' she wanna? Not fuckin' fair! She led me on! I mean, why else d'ya go out with someone when ya know from the start ya aren' even gonna marry 'em or nothin'? I gave her all the fuckin' romance she wanted, more'n I wanted t' give. I was always there an' we tol' each other everythin'! So why didn' she wanna? Why?"
He never spoke to her again. Not one word. She tried t' make up but he'd had it with her. It wasn' cos he didn' like her or nothin'. In fact, I reckon 'e loved her, or somethin' stupid like that. It's jus' that his pride'd been hurt. He couldn' face her.
Arashi an' them couldn' fail to notice. For a while they were occupied cos Yuki's parents made 'er leave again so they were all unhappy, but Genrou's misery caught their attention. He jus' moped aroun', wasn' his old self or nothin'.
"Prob'ly misses all th' rooting!" they said. This jus' made 'im worse.
His birthday was approachin' an' one afternoon, when 'e was sick, I asked Arashi, at lunch, what 'e reckoned I should get 'im. He snorted.
"Whaddya reckon? He wants t' get laid, dumbarse!"
I didn' twig onto what he was talkin' about. Then I got it. So that's why, on an afternoon when Fuyu was sleeping over at a mate, an' Okaa an' Sora-chan both had late-shift, I got Genrou an appointment with a prostitute.
**********
The first Genrou knew of it was when Kouji started acting mysterious and ran on ahead. Genrou, who was in no hurry, hung around with Arashi for a few minutes, but couldn't understand why he was acting so strangely. He finally went home, completely perplexed. The lights were off, but the door was unlocked and he went in.
"Hello?" he called.
"Knock knock
Who's there?
Kouji with a surprise gift fer Genrou
Really? That's nice. I'll better come in an' get it then, Kouji.
You do that." Kouji replied, from their bedroom. Genrou walked through
the door, stopped and blinked.
"Happy birthday," a voice greeted him. A female voice. Belonging to a half-naked woman, lying on his bed.
Genrou did a double-take and stared at her. Then he drew Kouji aside.
"Kouji? Whaddya doin'?" he hissed.
"It's a birthday presen'," Kouji said, feeling foolish. "Because you didn' get laid with Doulin."
"My ears are burning, boys!" the woman purred. "Have a drink. First-timers are fine with me." She gestured meaningfully to a few beer bottles on the floor. Genrou took one look at her, opened a can and downed the lot. Then he turned back to Kouji.
"Look, Kouji, I'm sorry mate, but I can' do it. Who put ya up to it anyway?"
"Arashi," Kouji admitted, miserably, "an' now what're we gonna do? I can' get m' money back now!"
"But look at her!" Genrou whispered. They did. "She's so run down, has at least two grams've speed in her. Not to mention anythin' else she prob'ly could find. An' she prob'ly has some disease or somethin'. Look at 'er coughin'. I can' do it, Kou."
He turned to the prostitute. "I'm sorry, I've changed m' mind. Can we have our money back?"
She laughed. "Cold feet?" She leaned over and smiled, revealing yellow teeth. "Sorry, but I don't give refunds."
"Give me my money back, ya bitch!" Genrou roared. "I'd rather fuck Kouji then fuck you!"
Her grin widened. "Prove it."
Genrou grinned. He never backed down from a good challenge. "Ya up to it?" he asked Kouji. And before Kouji knew what he was doing, Genrou leaned over and started kissing him. Kouji, taken completely by shock, kissed back.
The prostitute wasn't impressed. "Feh," she said, "that proves nothing."
They started kissing harder, and Genrou moved his head until he was kissing Kouji's neck. With a swift movement of his hands, he pulled off Kouji's shirt, then removed his own. The prostitute was starting to sweat. They didn't stop. Kouji's hands roamed and fumbled with Genrou's zip. Before long, both their pants were around their ankles.
The prostitute let out a squawk. "Okay, okay! Keep your damn money! That's disgusting!" She threw the money down on the bed and ran out of the apartment, screaming blue murder.
"What was she so shocked about?" Genrou grinned.
Kouji looked downwards. "You're hard."
"So're you," pointed out Genrou.
"I'll call her back," sighed Kouji.
"Nah, don' bother," Genrou said, opening and drainin' another beer. Kouji did the same, then went over to inspect the money.
He looked up and grinned. "She even left a tip."
Genrou grinned. "Sucked in. But now what'm I gonna do?" He groaned. "Damn it, Kouji! You got me horny! I was pretendin' ya were Doulin!"
What Kouji did next surprised even him. Perhaps it was because he was half-drunk, something he'd never been before. Perhaps it was because he'd never thought of this possibility before, and now it was there, huge in his mind. "I could do somethin' about it."
Genrou's grin faltered a little. "Ya gay or somethin'?"
"Nah, nah," Kouji said, quickly, "we'll pretend that the other's a girl or somethin'. No probs. Like y' did before."
Genrou's grin widened. "Damn straight." He scrunched up his empty beer can.
There was an awkward pause, as they both waited for the other to spring into action, like they do in TV. Then Genrou laughed quietly and put his arm around Kouji and they started kissing again.
Afterwards, they both cleaned up the mess of empty beer cans and dirty, ruffled sheets quickly, both feeling a bizarre mixture of being closer then ever but distant as well. Whenever they touched, even accidentally, they leapt back, as if electrocuted, and gave each other goofy, awkward smiles.
"So I guess I'd better try an' get ya a better birthday presen' now, I guess," Kouji said, picking up the money, plus extra.
"This time I'll come with ya an' make sure ya get me somethin' I actually want," Genrou laughed.
They still had the whole evening ahead of them and strolled the streets of Tokyo together before Genrou finally saw something he liked. Even better, it had a two for the price of one deal. They walked in together.
A few minutes later, they came out, ears aching, with a few earrings in each ear. On the way home, they ran into Arashi. He took one look at their faces and grinned.
"You got laid."
They nodded.
"An' ya got pierced! Goodonya!" He fingered his eyebrow ring and said, "but it wouldn've been as bad as this. It hurt like muthafucka."
Genrou and Kouji obligingly agreed.
He gave them a weird look. "How did ya get the money? You two resortin' t' petty crime now?"
"Nah, we decided not to use 'er so used that money," Kouji explained.
"In that case, how did ya get laid?" Arashi asked, curiously.
They both began to sweat.
"Someone better came along," Genrou said, finally,"someone more willing."
"I'll say!" Kouji sniggered. They both laughed.
Arashi gave them a suspicious look but said nothing.
They both headed home. On the way, they made an unspoken agreement never to speak of it again, nor to repeat it. It was a one off. A birthday present. And no one likes the same birthday present twice.
A few weeks later was Kouji's fourteenth birthday. That time he gained an eyebrow ring and Genrou, more earrings.
**********
Genrou
Life went on. What can I say? I mean, it's not as if anythin' major happened in junior high school. It was pretty tame, in fact. Kouji an' me actually bothered t' study, because after a while, we moved up a year but Arashi went to senior high school. Without him, lunch-time was borin'. An' cos we spen' all our time outside've school with 'im, it didn' leave much time for studyin', so we did it all at lunch. It's not as if we had any friends out've the other kids. I could've made up with Doulin but it was too late fer that.
Another birthday went by each, an' we both gained more assorted piercin's. I guess it kinda became a birthday tradition after that.
Mum an' Hikari changed jobs a few times, but generally things were okay. Sure, occasionally we had t' busk an' all, but we were used to it. Kouji became real good with the guitar, after studyin' music in grade eight, an' if we were really desperate, Fuyu would join us, or even Reika. She's the cutest lil toddler an' always gets money when she asks for it. Mum never knows we do it, though. She tends to work night shifts, an' Hikari day. It works. Once they switched, but Mum's practically nocturnal now. I live fer the night so I can see her. I miss Mum. It's really weird, none've the other kids are like that, an' even Kouji isn' like that with Hikari. Mebbe I'm jus' weird t' miss Mum as much as Reika, but screw what others think. An' Reika an' I are really close. More often then not, I wind up cookin' 'em all dinner, so I'm practically Daddy to Fuyu an' Reika. Kouji busks, I cook. Easy deal. An' if we don' have enough for the rent, we never raid Mum an' Hikari's money stash fer emergencies, we busk some more an' add to it. They never find out, an' we intend t' keep it that way. Mum would flip. She is pretty cool, doesn' give us any limitations, jus' "if ya make a mess, clean it, make sure the kids are fed an' don' ever smoke in the house. An' y'r not allowed home stoned or high." We never break the rules. 'sides, we don' have enough money for drugs. We've never even touched the stuff. Not our scene. Jus' like beggin' an' acceptin' "charity" ain't Mum's. That's why our buskin' is the only secret I've ever really kept from her. I reckon she knows everythin' which goes on with us, with our friends, between Kouji'n me, the lot. She always asks questions which get ya wondering how much she knows. An' I can always sense if she's in a bad mood or something. Someday I wanna beat the shit out of her bastard of a boss. She comes home an' cries sometimes an' I feel like shit cos there's nothin' I can do.
But sides's from all that, nothin' really happened durin' junior high. All that other stuff is routine. We do it all th' time.
What threw the routine was studyin' for our exams. All the others seemed t' get by without studyin', an' Arashi had dropped out of school ages ago. They were peeved we couldn' be there as much, but it paid off. We got into the high school we wanted. It wasn' a real flash one, the mos' Mum and Hikari could afford, but people there got pretty good grades. Ours were decen' enough to pass the test.
(BGM : Do=Be's ga Yatte Kuru; The Do=Be's Come)
Just do it, and it'll work out!
Acting super cheerful,
and living your dreams
isn't a hard thing at all.
We were ecstatic when we found out. Mum an' Hikari screamed an' laughed an' we all wen' out for a huge meal at the pub Mum works at, all free of charge. Everyone was grinnin' at us as if we were celebrities or somethin'. The pub-people were mainly pov people like us, an' most've 'em didn' have kids. Mum used t' tell 'em all about us, so they felt like they knew us already. Most've 'em had never even passed junior high, so they were real proud've us. We celebrated most've the night away.
[Instrumental]
But even better was when we tol' Arashi an' the others about how well we'd done. We did it real nervously, not sure how they'd react. It was weird, but they were genuinely happy for us. Real happy. In fact, Arashi even decided to throw us a party!
The seed of the future
is in the present.
What do you wanna do?! Then really let 'em know
that you wanna do it!
It was terrific, at Arashi's house. Real booze, loud music, lotsa company. A lot of the people were jus' lookin' for an excuse for a party, but a few were people who'd jus' passed exams too. Some were Arashi's mates, from his work. Everyone cool came along t' help us celebrate.
Within a trusting heart,
lies power,
and it can make its dreams materialize,
more certain than magic.
We'd told Mum an' Hikari that we were goin' to a party with friends an' that we probably wouldn' be back until dawn or later. We'd been t' a few of Arashi's parties before, but always got home before it got too late, cos of school. Now it didn' matter, we were on holidays! An' all we wanted t' do for the time bein' was party like crazy cos all the crazy revision time was over.
Just do it, and it'll work out!
I'm not gonna be down.
When you're walking forward,
there's no room for looking back.
"Thank god it's over," Kouji kept sayin', "I never have t' see that bloody place again. Or those bloody teachers. Never ever. An' we don' have t' mix with those baka people anymore."
Finally, t' shut him up, someone gave him some sake. It didn' work, he jus' got louder, but changed the subject, thank god.
Just do it, and it'll work out!
Acting super cheerful,
and living your dreams
isn't a hard thing at all.
I helped myself to a lil sake too. Okay, a lot've sake. But it's all good. All of it's good. An' sake makes me dance better. Everyone agrees with me. Sake is one've the few things that make me musical.
[Short Instrumental]
I jumped up onstage (okay, on table) an' decided everyone should see Kouji'n me's gruesome twosome dance. It's a classic, we invented it in year 4. Pure classic. Hell yeah. Everyone loved it, they thought it was funny. 's all good.
I always have
a really sunny disposition.
I forget about bad things right away.
That's a talent, too.
"Wanna dance?" asked Nami. Her mouth was close to my ear but she still yelled a lil. She was slurrin' her words by then. Doesn' matter, cos I've drunk sake, so I'm now the bes' dancer in the room. An' sake makes ya smarter too, ya know. I should've rocked up t' the exam drunk! Urgh, exams. I don' like exams. Forget exams, I'm gonna dance. Sake makes the room look pretty.
I won't give up easily.
I won't be broken.
I can't be called brave
if I can't even beat myself.
Nami suddenly needed to sit down. Really quickly. But that's 'kay, cos I dance even better without someone holdin' me down! Ooh, more sake! Ooh, yes please! Mmm, tasty sake. Why has the room gone all blurry? Oh well, keep dancin' anyway!
One way or another, it'll work out.
A pure white canvas can be
a beautiful future image
if you put your best effort into it.
"Great, so you've got into high school. Now whaddya plan to do?" Arashi's voice cuts through the fog.
"Party!" I say, naturally.
"Later, I mean," he insists.
"Shut up, you're makin' my head hurt," I complain.
One way or another, it'll work out.
Sow positive seeds.
Dreams are opening.
Miracles are exciting.
"You're prob'ly gonna study some more, right?" he asks.
"Yeah. Guesso," I say. I decide to think about this a bit more an' get some more sake to help me think.
"An' then y'll go t' uni?" he asks.
"Guesso."
"Ya mus' be smart," he sighs.
[Instrumental]
[Spoken:] No, I'm not really gonna be down. Somehow, It'll work out.
"Yuuji jus' broke up with his girlfrien'," Arashi informs me. "Whydoncha cheer him up? You're all happy an' soon he'll be too."
"All he needs is sake," I say, all confident.
When it comes to romantic love,
it's hopeless, but
when trouble breaks out,
I wanna lend a hand.
"How're ya doin', mate?" I ask Yuuji.
"Rotten," he mutters.
"Don' worry, have some sake," I say. I accidentally drop the bottle an' we both reach for it at the same time.
Yuuji looks into my eyes. "Arashi reckons y're really cute," he says, all secret-like, "an' so do I."
An' before I know it, he's kissin' me.
Just do it, and it'll work out!
I'm not gonna be down.
If you keep walking forward,
there's no room for looking back.
I dunno what t' do. I look fer Kouji an' see that Arashi is kissin' him. If Kouji is doin' it too, it mus' be alright. Jus' a lil kissing. It'll all work out. Jus' a lil more sake an' it'll all be good.
Just do it, and it'll work out!
Acting super cheerful,
and living your dreams
isn't a hard thing at all.
An' I wake up the next mornin', arse achin', an' see Yuuji next to me.
An' across the room I see Kouji wakin' up next to Arashi.
An' we look at each other in horror an' dunno what t' do, cos we know we're in fer it now. Or that we've already had it.
An' Arashi wakes up, looks at us straight in the eye an' sez, "I always knew you two were fags."
An' that was when Kouji'n I both grabbed our disgustin' dirty clothes, put'em on an' walked home, feelin' dirty, feelin' sick.
An' that was when Kouji an' I swore never to go near Arashi an' his sick friends ever again. Never ever, never never.
**********
Kouji
Of course, it's never as simple as that. Arashi had us once an' didn' wan' t' let us go. He kept followin' us, once even back home. We threatened t' call the police an' he left us alone after that. Mostly. We jus' tried not t' worry. We were in high school, we were invincible. But we did worry. Our grades dropped. Another birthday passed by, an' we were both sixteen. Reika was four an' gonna start school soon. What if they wen' after Fuyu? What if they wen' after Reika? They'd be defenseless, that's what.
An' then, one night, me'n Genrou went out buskin'. It shouldn' have been jus' another normal night. We left Reika an' Fuyu at 'ome, told 'em we'd be back soon. It should've been normal. But it wasn'.
I was singin' on the corner. Occasionally the odd passer-by gave me a coin. Genrou was a few metres away, askin' for "money to buy a bus-ticket." You'd be surprised how often that worked for a gaijin look-alike, especially when he put on an accen'. Obviously thought he was a tourist or somethin'.
But then Arashi came up. I ignored him.
"You've got a good voice," he commented, "a good range."
I ignored him, concentrated on my guitar, my singing.
"Your voice carries well," Arashi continued. "Very loud. Must be because you've got a big mouth. You'd be surprised how much can fit inside it."
I slammed my guitar case shut.
"Where d'ya think you're goin'?" he asked, sounding almost friendly.
At that point, Genrou came back. He saw Arashi and his face darkened. "Fuck off, bastard."
"You didn't say that before. Neither did Kouji. If I remember well, he said 'fuck me some more'," Arashi said, in an oily voice.
He dodged Genrou's punch, but mine got him right on the nose. At that point, all his cronies decided to leap out of their hidin' places.
"Now you're gonna come with us," Arashi said, in a voice which sounded so pleasant an' natural, but was full of hidden menace. We had no choice but to do as he said.
We were led into a dark sidestreet. An alley, really.
(BGM: Deep)
It was out of the way an' had a dead end, with garbage piled up in the corners. Arashi's gang blocked the exit an' Arashi stepped forward.
"Kneel," he commanded.
"Get fucked," Genrou snapped.
Arashi's eyes gleamed. "Oh, I will. Trust me, I will. Chuuei! Shunkei!"
They forced us down.
blank stare
disrepair
there's a big black hole gonna eat me up someday
He unzipped his pants an' shoved his dick in Genrou's face.
"Do it," he ordered.
"No!" Genrou said.
"Do it!" he bellowed.
someday
fades away
like a memory - or a place that you'd rather be
I tried to get up to help, but Shunkei held me down. I was helpless. I struggled again an' received a blow which made me slump then sink further down into the dirt. Light blazed 'hind my eyes an' for a momen', I could see Hikari's face 'fore my eyes. Hikari = light. Then reality came flying back.
Genrou
some place
lost in space
itch in my head that's telling me somewhere
"Kouji!" I called. "You okay?" I tried to move but Chuuei's iron grip held me there. I couldn' move. But I wasn' gonna do it. They could kill me but I never would. Never. I'd rather die.
"Suck my fuckin' cock, gaijin!" Arashi roared in my face. It came closer. Closer.
somewhere
out there
anywhere
I don't care
get me out of here
I closed my eyes to see blessed blackness. They couldn' steal that from me. But a face kept buggin' me. Someone like me, but differen'. Dad? Me? I dunno. He looked strong. I couldn' stand his look.
"Piss off," I muttered.
"What?!" Arashi roared. I'd forgotten he was even there for that second.
if I could feel
all the pins and the pricks
Chuuei punched me. I bounced off the ground. But I couldn' feel it. None of it was real, none of it. Only that face in front've my eyes.
if you were real
I could take what's apart and put it back together
I wanted to be the person I saw. They were strong. They wouldn't get this.
You can be. You can be strong, The person in my head said. I can make you.
this will come true
help me get through
into you
Do it, I said. I could faintly feel Arashi kickin' me an' hear Kouji screamin' in the background, but none of it mattered. All that mattered was that feelin'. Was I dyin'? I didn' know. But somethin' tol' me I wasn'. It felt as if I was comin' alive.
deep deep
deep deep
deep deep
deep deep
Red light blazed behind my eyes. I could feel my head bounce off somethin'. A wall? A fist? I dunno. I could feel blood tricklin' down my face. But it didn' matter.
all I can do
driving me through
into you
Get up, the voice ordered. I did. I didn' get up completely, but I staggered to my knees an' opened my eyes. Kouji was whimperin', but Arashi looked satisfied.
"So ya've seen reason," he said.
I moved towards him, head lowered. He smirked and shoved my face forward.
deep deep
deep deep
deep deep
deep deep
I bit him with all my might. He screamed in pain, screamed and screamed and screamed. An' every scream made me stronger. Oh yes, I got stronger. All the strength I'd lost to the sake I'd regained. All the strength I'd lost to their fists, I regained. I stood up.
one track
got you on your back
your skin speaks up but your lips couldn't say it
He found a wall an' leaned against it. All his mates were lookin' at him in shock. His lips twitched, his eyes flickered. He tried to say somethin' but all that came out were hideous howls of agony.
right now I know somehow
we could take the chance and we could make it
make it
right here make it all disappear
His mates didn' need the order, they leapt for me. I didn' care. It was Arashi I'd wanted revenge against, he'd planned the whole damn thing. Now he was nothin'. Pathetic. All it would take would be a kick an' he'd be done for. Worse'n dead.
everything that we've been missing
missing
"Ya pathetic piece of shit," I screamed at him. "May ya rot in hell! May ya ears go mouldy an' your toes fall off!"
Time was moving slowly, but his mates were nearly on me.
you make me feel
that there's a part of me
that I want to get back again
I dodged them all an' was at his side in an instant. Oh the power. Yes the fucking power! I'd never felt this fuckin' powerful before! I could make'm do whatever I wanted to. I felt like I was regainin' all th' strength I'd lost, which he stole from me. An' more. More. Stealin' his strength.
make this come true
help me get through
into you
"Please..." he whimpered. At the same time, Kouji whimpered in pain. Even though he was quiet, mostly' forgotten an' all, I heard it. An' I wanted t' kill Arashi.
deep deep
deep deep
deep deep
deep deep
An' I tried. Oh yes, I tried. I went for his nose. I'd heard that if ya punch someone's nose long an' hard enough, ya break it an' the bits go into their brain. He'd toll' me that. So I decided to see if it was a lie like everythin' else he'd said.
all I can do
pushing it through
into you
Then I realised I didn' wan' him dead. Not yet. I wanted him alive so he could suffer. I moved my aim, moved it to his stomach.
deep deep
deep deep
deep deep
deep deep
Each hit stronger, deeper. He couldn' even scream no more. He gurgled, moaned, groaned. But never screamed.
all I can do
driving on through
into you
I wanted t' hit him forever. It wasn' jus' Arashi no more, it was th' whole damn world, every single one've th' bastards which made us suffer. It was Shimo. It was the bastard who ran Dad over. It was every person who'd ever looked down at me'n Mum. It was everyone who'd ever called us gaijin. It was everyone. It was even me. I kept goin'.
deep deep
deep deep
deep deep
deep deep
That one rhythm. Fists into his guts. Again. An' again. An' again. Mirrorin' the rhythm of their fists inta me. His mates were there, at me. But they were nothin'.
you're slipping through
I'm coming to
into you
Arashi was finished. I spat in his face then turned to th' others. Now it was their turn.
deep deep
deep deep
deep deep
deep deep
They had it comin', all of 'em. I went for 'em all. I was flame. I was wind. They were nothin'. Let them burn. Let my fists fly inta them. I went for a few at a time, threw them aside. Every hit made me stronger.
we could become
two into one
leave this behind
over and done
They were nothin'. But still that face in front've my eyes. Oh yes, I wanted t'be that person. A god. An' I'd punish 'em all for what they'd done. This was it. This was revenge. They were bein' punished. An' they were scared. I heard one of 'em scream,
"He's glowing red! He's possessed!"
everything new
I'm getting through
into you
I wanted t'be the god. But somethin' held me back. A face. A girl. An' I knew then that I didn' wanna be that person. Cos if I was, I'd kill 'em all. All of 'em. An' I'd be as bad as they were. I'd be outta control. So when they made a move to escape, I let 'em go. They ran.
Except for Lanva an' Arashi. Arashi couldn' even move, but Lanva wasn' there t' help him or t' even be brave. He looked at me, eyes wide.
"Who are you?" he asked. Then he shook his head an' ran. Jus' like the rest've 'em.
I turned to Kouji. He was in a bad shape, but breathin' okay. But me? I'd had it. I guess the power I'd used was my own energy. I was a flame. An' now I'd burnt myself out.
I couldn' feel the ground as I hit it, but I could hear Kouji gettin' up. He was leanin' over, his face clear outta the blackness. He was kissin' life back inta me. That's right Kouji. I saved yer life. Now ya'll save mine, right? Jus' keep blowin'. Help'll come. It'll come. Come...
*********
Kouji
I thought Genrou was dead. He looked it. One minute he was alive, breathin', glowin', the next he was down, not even breathin'.
It was Lanva who called the ambulance. I dunno why he did it. Mebbe he'd had enough. Mebbe he was scared. We'll never know why.
It was Lanva who stood up for us in court, th' only one who told the truth, the whole truth an' nothin' but the fuckin' truth. I look back an' remember that he was th' only one who didn' get involved when Genrou started fightin' back. Me an' him. I was t' scared. I dunno his reason.
It was Lanva's evidence which turned the case around. Arashi was gonna try'n sue Genrou for permanent disfigurement. We wound up suein' him. He's now in the slammer an' won' be out for a long while. Th' others all have various terms too. Lanva pleaded guilty an' has a short term. He'll be out next year. I think we might have even forgiven him by then.
But it was me which kept Genrou alive. It was me who breathed life back int' him an' rode with him in the ambulance. We both were outta hospital in time for the court case.
Everythin' was kept all hushed up. They figured it was some gang squabble or somethin'. Whatever.
Now life is all back t' normal. Well, kinda.
We came back t' school an' no one was speakin' to us. They kept well away. Even the teachers seemed scared of us. That was the worst thing. They were scared of us, like they were all scared of Arashi. An' nothin' we said or did could change that. Genrou was furious. He couldn' get why people were like that. He'd jus' rid'em of an evil bastard, but all they saw was a stronger an' even meaner bastard. They didn' see Gen-chan.
An' all the teachers judged us, they reckoned we were feral. Genrou got the best grades he'd ever got in his life an' they treated him jus' the same as when we were failin'. We'd had a guts full. Genrou started talkin' about droppin' out of school.
But then Okaa saw an advertisment in a newspaper. A school was offerin' scholarships. Some were for real geniuses. Some were for povos like us. An' that's why, right now, I'm sittin' on a chair outside the principal's office, waiting for my interview. Genrou is in there right now, tryin' t' plead our case. This is it. I reckon that if we don' make it in, we don' even have a future. No where else will take us.
********
Genrou
The guy was old. White hair an' tons of wrinkles. An' he had a pompous air about him. He was lookin' at my earrin's. I knew I only had one chance. If I couldn' get him to see past m' appearance, no one could. Kouji couldn'. But after bein' in that fight, I'd realised. That power, it was mine, no one else's. I could beat this bastard.
"So, Mr Omari. Why should we take you into our school?" Impress me, ya feral.
I decided t' tell him the truth. T' be brutally honest.
"Because I am worth it. Look at m' reports. They all say I'm a fuckin' genius. It's true. Although I've got lousy grades since high school, they all say I'm s'posed to be great. The best. An' that's why ya want me at ya school. Cos I will be. Even if I won' even try in class, even if I look feral, at th' end've the day, I'll get good grades. I'll ace yer tests. Cos I reckon ya should never let a teacher interfere with ya learnin'. My school? They look down at me, they don' even bother. They say 'there's another no-hoper'. An' maybe I am. Maybe I will be. But ya won' know unless ya give me a try. An' no one else will. If I don' get in, I'm droppin' out. People jus' reckon I'm some stupid gaijin, don' even know how t' talk properly. Guess what? I can speak two fuckin' languages fluently. I may act stupid, but I sure as hell ain't. An' if ya let me in, I promise I'll do ya proud. An' I might take get offered an engineerin' degree but I know what I wanna do. I'm gonna make stuff. Jewellery. I'm gonna be the best. I'll make ya daughter's engagement ring, I'll make her weddin' ring. I'm gonna make m' Mum proud, I'm gonna make somethin' of myself. An' who knows? I might even go t' uni, once I've got enough money. But ya'll never know unless ya let me try t' find out. That's what it comes down t'. Cos if you don' give me a go, look past m' red hair an' earrin's, I'm done for. I'll be jus' like any one of those other no hopers. I'll prob'ly die drunk with a sake bottle in m' hand. An' at night I'll hear m' Mum thinkin' 'why did he do it? He had so much potential'. But she won' ever say it. She'd be too ashamed. An' I'd be too."
I stopped. I'd jus' placed my life in this guy's hands, an' he was aware of it. I was trustin' him t' be th' saviour, to actually care. Feh. I'd jus' thrown m' life away. But at least I'd got him thinkin'. An' if one person could think, mebbe the worl' isn' as doomed as I think.
"I'll leave now, shall I?" I asked. "Cos it's obvious I'm wastin' my time."
I walked out of the office, past his secretary, who looked up in surprise, an' int' the waitin' room. Mum didn' ask 'how did it go?'. She knew that if I had anythin' t' say, I'd say it.
We jus' sat there an' waited. Didn' seem like we had anythin' left t' do.
*********
The principal sat there, stunned. He'd never encountered anyone quite like that before and was startled into silence. He just stared out of the open door, which the boy had left open.
During the boy's speech, he'd been watching him closely. And he had been paying attention. The passion in the boy's speech had moved him more than the words himself. He'd found himself someone who was genuine, who was real. He'd interviewed every single person entering the school that year, and many of them, who were well-worded, sounded rehearsed. The boy... his language was rough, but it came from the heart. There was a quality about him which was real. He'd really wanted to come to that school, desperately enough to pin all his hopes of a future on him. So many of those he'd interviewed were nervous, unwilling. Their parents had wanted them to go to that school, and they merely complied. But the mother and son seemed to share a bizarre bond. He could sense that whether the boy wanted to be a tramp or a rocket scientist, the mother would be proud of him either way.
The principal sighed. Could he really do it? Let some one like that into their school? What would the staff think? They were trained to cope with students from all walks of life, yet behind the scenes...
And what aobut their reputation? Letting ferals into his school...
But something in that boy's speech had moved him.
He smiled, besides himself. "We'll see if you make my daughter's engagement ring..." he murmured, knowing that his intention all along had been to give the boy the chance he so desperately wanted.
He sighed and wondered what his daughter was doing then. Whether she was still alive. That boy, for all he knew, could even be her son. Stranger things had happened...
*********
"Beautiful
Day" ( by U2)
The heart is a bloom
Shoots up through the stony ground
There's no room
No space to rent in this town
You're out of luck
And the reason that you had to care
The traffic is stuck
And you're not moving anywhere
You thought you'd found a friend
To take you out of this place
Someone you could lend a hand
In return for grace
It's a beautiful day
Sky falls, you feel like
It's a beautiful day
Don't let it get away
You're on the road
But you've got no destination
You're in the mud
In the maze of her imagination
You love this town
Even if that doesn't ring true
You've been all over
And it's been all over you
It's a beautiful day
Don't let it get away
It's a beautiful day
Touch me
Take me to that other place
Teach me
I know I'm not a hopeless case
See the world in green and blue
See China right in front of you
See the canyons broken by cloud
See the tuna fleets clearing the sea out
See the Bedouin fires at night
See the oil fields at first light
And see the bird with a leaf in her mouth
After the flood all the colors came out
It was a beautiful day
Don't let it get away
Beautiful day
Touch me
Take me to that other place
Reach me
I know I'm not a hopeless case
What you don't have you don't need it now
What you don't know you can feel it somehow
What you don't have you don't need it now
Don't need it now
Was a beautiful day
=Fin= (or at least, the Tasuki saga is...)
*********
So that's it for Tasuki. We've found out how he winds up at the same school as all the others, about everything that happened, my little version of his reincarnated history.
And this chapter has taken FOREVER to write. I mean forever. I usually plan everything that I write in a chapter (the bare bones) in my head, wait until the mood gets me then write the lot in an afternoon. This chapter took THREE afternoons to do. And what an emotional little journey it was... I can hardly believe it's over!
Gods, if you look at it, this whole prequel took longer to write than all of "What if" put together! But I think my writing style has improved. Then again, this and "What if" are so different you can barely compare them. I'm just glad the whole Tasuki saga is over. Not because I disliked writing it, but because now a lot of the angsty stuff is over. And I put off writing some of it because I knew that some readers (Neko-chan mainly...) would freak out over some of the scenes. *laughs* I hope you're not going to kill me for this little unorthodox version of Gen-chan.
I've just reread it. Wow. Melodrama galore! But a few hidden jokes. Did you pick them up?
Yuki was the Shiro Yuki from the first chapter after the prologue. Genrou remembered her vaguely from when they were little kids.
When Arashi teases "you've got false teeth", that was what a teacher once said to me. I'd got my ears pierced (I was five years old at the time) and I bounced up to her, really excited, and said "guess what?"
The slightly drunk scene was fun to write (before it got angsty) because that's my state of mind whenever I'm happy. And if that's what I'm like when I'm not drunk then imagine how bad I'd be if I ever was. That's probably the main reason I never drink. Who needs it? A good ol' sugar high is good. Bring on the Pepsi One! But not Vanilla Coke. *screws up nose* My sister loves the stuff. I can't stand it. Ginger-ale on the other hand... but this is from someone who used to eat ginger out of the box. I've got weird taste...
I've just realised... no akugis! But this has been so angsty, I've had no room for them. I suppose there is one which comes to mind though:
Tasuki: Use the force, young Genrou. Use the f*#$in' force!!
And...
Random person: "He's possessed!"
Miboshi: *evil laughter*
Omigoddess! I've just checked the word-count! Over 13,000 words! Considering that the average chapter length in "What About" is 4000 words, and in "What if" is 1000 words! No wonder it's so long!!!!
So... anyway... onto the Ryuuen saga! *cheers* Go Nuriko! Unfortunately, there'll be much angst too...