Alright, I'm back. After a few days of wracking my brain trying to decide
which way to take this and which character, TK or Sora, to use as my foil.
(Okay, fine. So I spent a few days seeing star wars repeatedly, sue me…) I
was struck with inspiration at work today. TK won out over Sora.
Oddly enough, I seem to get inspired in three main places, 1) in the shower, 2) at work, or 3) in Florida. I need to be inspired in Florida more often… okay now, get on with it, energy…
Nine, I think I will have to agree with you- I like Kou-chan too much to go easy on him…
"You climb all over Tai all the time," Sora had told him just a few minutes before. That line continually echoed in his mind, causing its own cascade of thoughts to start falling.
On one hand, he surely wished that he could climb all over Tai all the time, holding him, running a hand through Tai's unruly hair, simply being near him. On the other, he wished that these feelings would go away, leave him, make him stop questioning everything about himself, making him feel 'wrong'.
Koushirou sighed and laid his head on his hands on the desk. "Dammit, why me?" he asked himself. "This just isn't fair." Homeroom ended and everyone left to go to first class. Koushirou went into autopilot mode and remained there until the end of classes that day.
He stepped out of the school and started making his way home. "Hey Koushirou, wait up." TK was calling to him again. Koushirou turned around to wait for him.
"You know, you might want to dig the potatoes out of your ears, Koushirou, or are you trying to ignore me?"
"What are you talking about, TK?"
"I was calling your name out the minute you left school. Where are you sometimes, Kou-chan?"
"In my own prison, I think," Koushirou told him, leaving TK to wonder what he was saying.
"Would you like to try that again, in layman's terms this time please?"
"I'm in my mind, trying to figure things out, and I'm doing very poorly."
"Is this the same something that you were pondering this morning?"
"The same. I'm no closer to figuring it out now than I was hours ago."
"You know, I do have a few brain cells that I could apply to the problem, whatever it might be," TK told him, trying to get him to open up.
"I appreciate the offer, TK, I really do, but this is something that I have to work on myself."
"Remember the Digi-Destined's honor thing, Kou-chan, don't try to forget about that."
"I'm sure you won't let me, TK, so I won't." The two boys parted ways; TK bouncing his way home, while Koushirou slowed to nearly a crawl and moped home. His mother was out when he arrived, so he entered the apartment and flopped on the couch. A low buzzing announced Tentomon's arrival.
"Hello, Koushirou, how are you feeling?"
"Lousy, Tentomon, but thanks for asking."
"Still unsure of your plan of action?"
"Exactly. Every time I think I've figured something out, another thing pops up and puts me back where I was, if not further back."
"Koushirou, I wish I could digivolve and defeat your problem. I really do. I hate seeing you this, it hurts me."
"I'm sorry Tentomon, I don't want to hurt you, but I am lost as to what to do."
"Koushirou, all you need to do is tell him. If not Tai, tell someone. Anyone. Your mom for example."
"No way! The last thing that I want is for her to know!"
"And why not? She is a very caring and loving human being."
"Right, but she is my mother. That would be like, like, I don't know, just definitely not good."
"I will never understand humans. Digital things are so much simpler, either a '0' or a '1'. Humans, you are anywhere from the '0' to infinite and back again." Tentomon sighed.
"Sometimes I wish it was like that myself, cut and dried, no grey area. Oh well, not in this world. I'm going to do my homework now."
"Enjoy yourself, Koushirou. I'm going to take a little rest now myself."
"See you after while, Tentomon," Koushirou called as he left the room.
"Maybe you'll find an answer in one of your books, Koushirou," Tentomon said to himself, "as it seems you'll never find one anywhere else."
Koushirou stayed in his room until dinner and then returned almost immediately after. He said a total of fifteen words at the table, most of them either 'please' or 'thank you'. Tentomon tried to talk to him, but had little success. It seemed that Koushirou was falling a bit further into his own personal black hole every passing hour. Tentomon gave up and left Koushirou to himself. Kou turned in to bed not long before eleven and was plagued by restless sleep the entire night.
In his dreams, he had just told someone about his feelings. That person told someone else, and so on, the information passing on like a virus. Everyone he knew and had ever met knew about him and they were all taunting him. Horrible names spilled from their lips and stung him terribly. Koushirou tossed and turned and nearly fell out of bed. He awoke as they were chasing him down a narrow alley with chants of 'freak' and similar things. Koushirou lay on his back staring at the ceiling a long time before sleep came for him again.
The next four days were nearly carbon copies of each other. In the morning Koushirou would skip breakfast and walk to school with TK. TK would try to get Koushirou to open up about whatever it was that was bothering him. Koushirou would gently push him off and they'd arrive at school. The day would pass slowly, each class giving Koushirou another hour to drive himself crazy. He'd walk home, usually with TK again. Tentomon would do his best, and then Koushirou would go to bed. The only things that changed were the clothes and the food at meals.
The fifth day started out the same, but thankfully changed after school was out. Koushirou had been looking worse and worse everyday this week, everyone could see that. Koushirou told everyone that he'd not been sleeping well, which was obvious, but would never say why. TK watched as Koushirou slowly spiraled down, helpless to do anything about it. Finally, the boy had had enough.
He and Koushirou had left school together and then parted their separate ways. TK stopped and watched as Koushirou hung his head and made his way home. "Oh no, this stops today." TK went home, but wasn't planning on staying for very long.
Koushirou made it home in a reasonable time and was greeted by his mother as he walked through the door. "Hello, Koushirou. How was school today?"
"It was fine. A little on the boring side I guess."
"Are you hungry? I've got a plate of snacks in the kitchen I just made a few minutes ago."
"Maybe in a little while Mom. I'm going to go and start my homework. I'll come out and get them in a bit."
"Alright dear. Are you feeling okay, Koushirou? You don't look very well."
"I'm fine. I'm just tired these days."
"Ah yes, you're growing so fast, that your body is wearing itself out." She smiled and looked off in the distance for a few seconds.
"Are you okay, Mom?"
"Oh, Koushirou, I was just thinking back to when you were so little and I could hold you in one arm. Now here you are in front of me, grown so. It seems like just yesterday." Mrs. Izumi shed a tear or two.
"Don't cry, Mom. I'm sorry I grew up," Koushirou said, trying to keep another tear from falling.
"Oh, don't be silly. It's just sometimes you look back and reminisce and get lost in the memories. Go on now, do your homework, my wonderful child."
Koushirou blushed a little and walked on past her. As he closed the door a thought crossed his mind before he could squash it and ruined the warm fuzzy feeling he had going. "Would she feel the same if she knew?" With the moment smashed, Koushirou sat down at his desk and began the work.
He was about midway through his math when there was a knock on his door. He turned as was about to call out when the door opened and in stepped TK with a plate full of cookies. "Hello, TK," Koushirou said.
"Hi Koushirou. Your mother said you might want some of these so I decided to bring them to you. They are quite delicious." TK closed the door behind him and walked over to Koushirou's desk and set the plate down. He then sat on the bed near Koushirou and looked at him, munching on a cookie all the while. Koushirou took one himself and they enjoyed a cookie together.
"Alright TK, I'm sure you didn't come all the way over here to bring me cookies, so what's up?"
"Nice and direct, I like that. Since you asked, here it is. Koushirou, you look like crap right now. You've been miserable for the last few months, heck, maybe even longer, but the last two weeks have been even worse. I've watched as you physically deteriorate a little more each and every day."
"Like I told you before, TK, I've had a lot on my mind and I've not been sleeping very good either. Those two things don't add up to roses or anything."
"Right. You've told me that many a' time and then you get worse. Kou-chan, something has to give, and it has to give now. What is eating you?"
"TK, I don't feel comfortable discussing it yet. Maybe a little later on I can, but not right now."
"Sorry, Koushirou, but that answer is unacceptable. I am going to sit here until you decide to open up." To emphasize this, TK lay back on the bed and made himself quite comfortable.
Koushirou was very mixed up inside right now. Part of him was screaming to tell TK what was on his mind, but the other part was urging restraint. He looked at TK for a minute and then lowered his head resignedly. "Okay."
TK sat up and got back on the edge of the bed. Koushirou looked like he had no idea where to start. "Just start talking, Koushirou," TK told him.
"This is very hard for me to say, TK." Koushirou started talking before he knew it. "This has been eating me up inside for a long time now." TK was listening intently. Koushirou had lowered his head and seemed to be talking to his lap.
"I like someone. I like this person a lot actually, and have for a while." Koushirou stopped again. TK filled the silence almost immediately after.
"It's Sora isn't it? Is it?"
"No, actually it isn't." This sort of threw TK for a second.
"Who then?" Koushirou was utterly silent. "Kou-chan? Who?"
"Taichi." The room was profoundly silent, neither boy saying a word. Koushirou looked up to see the utter shock on TK's face. He took it as disgust and looked back into his lap. TK finally blinked.
"You're disgusted aren't you? You are. I'll show you out." Koushirou got up and was starting to cry as he made his way to the door. TK jumped up right behind him.
"Koushirou, turn around." Koushirou did, not sure of what would happen next, maybe a punch, who knew. When he did, TK hugged him so tight he thought he'd burst. "I'm not disgusted at all, Kou-chan. Why'd you ever think that?"
"Because I'm gay. That's why."
"You're gay. So what? I don't feel any different about you than I did a minute ago, and I never will." Koushirou hugged him back.
"Thank you, TK, you have no idea what that means to me."
"I can only begin to imagine." Koushirou was softly weeping into TK's shoulder. "Easy with the faucets there, Koushirou, I already took a bath today."
"I'm sorry, TK, I wasn't expecting to cry over this. This is just such a huge relief."
"So you've told no one?"
"Not a soul, except Tentomon."
"I feel honored, Kou-chan, really I do. I know that this wasn't easy for you."
"It was a lot easier than I'd ever imagined, TK, you can believe that."
"What do you say we go and get a bite to eat, and we can talk more, if you want to."
Koushirou pulled away from TK and nodded his head in agreement. "Sounds good. Let's go." They left and Koushirou grabbed his coat from the hall closet. "Mom, TK and I are going to go out and get a bite to eat, alright?"
"Sure dear, just don't stay out too late, it gets so bitterly cold now."
"I'll get him back before too long, Mrs. Izumi, don't worry."
"Thank you TK. You two boys take care." Koushirou and TK zipped up and headed out the door.
This is getting better by the chapter I think. And I'll pour a bit of my life out here; this chapter was loosely based on my own life experience. I'll let you guess whether I was Koushirou or TK. Anyway, look for more in the near future, and keep those reviews coming. Nothing inflates an ego like reviews, good or bad.
Oddly enough, I seem to get inspired in three main places, 1) in the shower, 2) at work, or 3) in Florida. I need to be inspired in Florida more often… okay now, get on with it, energy…
Nine, I think I will have to agree with you- I like Kou-chan too much to go easy on him…
"You climb all over Tai all the time," Sora had told him just a few minutes before. That line continually echoed in his mind, causing its own cascade of thoughts to start falling.
On one hand, he surely wished that he could climb all over Tai all the time, holding him, running a hand through Tai's unruly hair, simply being near him. On the other, he wished that these feelings would go away, leave him, make him stop questioning everything about himself, making him feel 'wrong'.
Koushirou sighed and laid his head on his hands on the desk. "Dammit, why me?" he asked himself. "This just isn't fair." Homeroom ended and everyone left to go to first class. Koushirou went into autopilot mode and remained there until the end of classes that day.
He stepped out of the school and started making his way home. "Hey Koushirou, wait up." TK was calling to him again. Koushirou turned around to wait for him.
"You know, you might want to dig the potatoes out of your ears, Koushirou, or are you trying to ignore me?"
"What are you talking about, TK?"
"I was calling your name out the minute you left school. Where are you sometimes, Kou-chan?"
"In my own prison, I think," Koushirou told him, leaving TK to wonder what he was saying.
"Would you like to try that again, in layman's terms this time please?"
"I'm in my mind, trying to figure things out, and I'm doing very poorly."
"Is this the same something that you were pondering this morning?"
"The same. I'm no closer to figuring it out now than I was hours ago."
"You know, I do have a few brain cells that I could apply to the problem, whatever it might be," TK told him, trying to get him to open up.
"I appreciate the offer, TK, I really do, but this is something that I have to work on myself."
"Remember the Digi-Destined's honor thing, Kou-chan, don't try to forget about that."
"I'm sure you won't let me, TK, so I won't." The two boys parted ways; TK bouncing his way home, while Koushirou slowed to nearly a crawl and moped home. His mother was out when he arrived, so he entered the apartment and flopped on the couch. A low buzzing announced Tentomon's arrival.
"Hello, Koushirou, how are you feeling?"
"Lousy, Tentomon, but thanks for asking."
"Still unsure of your plan of action?"
"Exactly. Every time I think I've figured something out, another thing pops up and puts me back where I was, if not further back."
"Koushirou, I wish I could digivolve and defeat your problem. I really do. I hate seeing you this, it hurts me."
"I'm sorry Tentomon, I don't want to hurt you, but I am lost as to what to do."
"Koushirou, all you need to do is tell him. If not Tai, tell someone. Anyone. Your mom for example."
"No way! The last thing that I want is for her to know!"
"And why not? She is a very caring and loving human being."
"Right, but she is my mother. That would be like, like, I don't know, just definitely not good."
"I will never understand humans. Digital things are so much simpler, either a '0' or a '1'. Humans, you are anywhere from the '0' to infinite and back again." Tentomon sighed.
"Sometimes I wish it was like that myself, cut and dried, no grey area. Oh well, not in this world. I'm going to do my homework now."
"Enjoy yourself, Koushirou. I'm going to take a little rest now myself."
"See you after while, Tentomon," Koushirou called as he left the room.
"Maybe you'll find an answer in one of your books, Koushirou," Tentomon said to himself, "as it seems you'll never find one anywhere else."
Koushirou stayed in his room until dinner and then returned almost immediately after. He said a total of fifteen words at the table, most of them either 'please' or 'thank you'. Tentomon tried to talk to him, but had little success. It seemed that Koushirou was falling a bit further into his own personal black hole every passing hour. Tentomon gave up and left Koushirou to himself. Kou turned in to bed not long before eleven and was plagued by restless sleep the entire night.
In his dreams, he had just told someone about his feelings. That person told someone else, and so on, the information passing on like a virus. Everyone he knew and had ever met knew about him and they were all taunting him. Horrible names spilled from their lips and stung him terribly. Koushirou tossed and turned and nearly fell out of bed. He awoke as they were chasing him down a narrow alley with chants of 'freak' and similar things. Koushirou lay on his back staring at the ceiling a long time before sleep came for him again.
The next four days were nearly carbon copies of each other. In the morning Koushirou would skip breakfast and walk to school with TK. TK would try to get Koushirou to open up about whatever it was that was bothering him. Koushirou would gently push him off and they'd arrive at school. The day would pass slowly, each class giving Koushirou another hour to drive himself crazy. He'd walk home, usually with TK again. Tentomon would do his best, and then Koushirou would go to bed. The only things that changed were the clothes and the food at meals.
The fifth day started out the same, but thankfully changed after school was out. Koushirou had been looking worse and worse everyday this week, everyone could see that. Koushirou told everyone that he'd not been sleeping well, which was obvious, but would never say why. TK watched as Koushirou slowly spiraled down, helpless to do anything about it. Finally, the boy had had enough.
He and Koushirou had left school together and then parted their separate ways. TK stopped and watched as Koushirou hung his head and made his way home. "Oh no, this stops today." TK went home, but wasn't planning on staying for very long.
Koushirou made it home in a reasonable time and was greeted by his mother as he walked through the door. "Hello, Koushirou. How was school today?"
"It was fine. A little on the boring side I guess."
"Are you hungry? I've got a plate of snacks in the kitchen I just made a few minutes ago."
"Maybe in a little while Mom. I'm going to go and start my homework. I'll come out and get them in a bit."
"Alright dear. Are you feeling okay, Koushirou? You don't look very well."
"I'm fine. I'm just tired these days."
"Ah yes, you're growing so fast, that your body is wearing itself out." She smiled and looked off in the distance for a few seconds.
"Are you okay, Mom?"
"Oh, Koushirou, I was just thinking back to when you were so little and I could hold you in one arm. Now here you are in front of me, grown so. It seems like just yesterday." Mrs. Izumi shed a tear or two.
"Don't cry, Mom. I'm sorry I grew up," Koushirou said, trying to keep another tear from falling.
"Oh, don't be silly. It's just sometimes you look back and reminisce and get lost in the memories. Go on now, do your homework, my wonderful child."
Koushirou blushed a little and walked on past her. As he closed the door a thought crossed his mind before he could squash it and ruined the warm fuzzy feeling he had going. "Would she feel the same if she knew?" With the moment smashed, Koushirou sat down at his desk and began the work.
He was about midway through his math when there was a knock on his door. He turned as was about to call out when the door opened and in stepped TK with a plate full of cookies. "Hello, TK," Koushirou said.
"Hi Koushirou. Your mother said you might want some of these so I decided to bring them to you. They are quite delicious." TK closed the door behind him and walked over to Koushirou's desk and set the plate down. He then sat on the bed near Koushirou and looked at him, munching on a cookie all the while. Koushirou took one himself and they enjoyed a cookie together.
"Alright TK, I'm sure you didn't come all the way over here to bring me cookies, so what's up?"
"Nice and direct, I like that. Since you asked, here it is. Koushirou, you look like crap right now. You've been miserable for the last few months, heck, maybe even longer, but the last two weeks have been even worse. I've watched as you physically deteriorate a little more each and every day."
"Like I told you before, TK, I've had a lot on my mind and I've not been sleeping very good either. Those two things don't add up to roses or anything."
"Right. You've told me that many a' time and then you get worse. Kou-chan, something has to give, and it has to give now. What is eating you?"
"TK, I don't feel comfortable discussing it yet. Maybe a little later on I can, but not right now."
"Sorry, Koushirou, but that answer is unacceptable. I am going to sit here until you decide to open up." To emphasize this, TK lay back on the bed and made himself quite comfortable.
Koushirou was very mixed up inside right now. Part of him was screaming to tell TK what was on his mind, but the other part was urging restraint. He looked at TK for a minute and then lowered his head resignedly. "Okay."
TK sat up and got back on the edge of the bed. Koushirou looked like he had no idea where to start. "Just start talking, Koushirou," TK told him.
"This is very hard for me to say, TK." Koushirou started talking before he knew it. "This has been eating me up inside for a long time now." TK was listening intently. Koushirou had lowered his head and seemed to be talking to his lap.
"I like someone. I like this person a lot actually, and have for a while." Koushirou stopped again. TK filled the silence almost immediately after.
"It's Sora isn't it? Is it?"
"No, actually it isn't." This sort of threw TK for a second.
"Who then?" Koushirou was utterly silent. "Kou-chan? Who?"
"Taichi." The room was profoundly silent, neither boy saying a word. Koushirou looked up to see the utter shock on TK's face. He took it as disgust and looked back into his lap. TK finally blinked.
"You're disgusted aren't you? You are. I'll show you out." Koushirou got up and was starting to cry as he made his way to the door. TK jumped up right behind him.
"Koushirou, turn around." Koushirou did, not sure of what would happen next, maybe a punch, who knew. When he did, TK hugged him so tight he thought he'd burst. "I'm not disgusted at all, Kou-chan. Why'd you ever think that?"
"Because I'm gay. That's why."
"You're gay. So what? I don't feel any different about you than I did a minute ago, and I never will." Koushirou hugged him back.
"Thank you, TK, you have no idea what that means to me."
"I can only begin to imagine." Koushirou was softly weeping into TK's shoulder. "Easy with the faucets there, Koushirou, I already took a bath today."
"I'm sorry, TK, I wasn't expecting to cry over this. This is just such a huge relief."
"So you've told no one?"
"Not a soul, except Tentomon."
"I feel honored, Kou-chan, really I do. I know that this wasn't easy for you."
"It was a lot easier than I'd ever imagined, TK, you can believe that."
"What do you say we go and get a bite to eat, and we can talk more, if you want to."
Koushirou pulled away from TK and nodded his head in agreement. "Sounds good. Let's go." They left and Koushirou grabbed his coat from the hall closet. "Mom, TK and I are going to go out and get a bite to eat, alright?"
"Sure dear, just don't stay out too late, it gets so bitterly cold now."
"I'll get him back before too long, Mrs. Izumi, don't worry."
"Thank you TK. You two boys take care." Koushirou and TK zipped up and headed out the door.
This is getting better by the chapter I think. And I'll pour a bit of my life out here; this chapter was loosely based on my own life experience. I'll let you guess whether I was Koushirou or TK. Anyway, look for more in the near future, and keep those reviews coming. Nothing inflates an ego like reviews, good or bad.