Magus: MuwaeheyaehlaeyHEYEHAOAEHEYEAHEYAhayaehaeyeahyaeahaaa!!!!
Jon: *sigh* We haven't even started the interview and he's already in seizures...
Brad: Why, oh why, did I agree to do these interviews?
Magus: Because you're not really here. This is a fictional interview, remember?
Brad: Ah, right.
Magus: And watch what ya say or, my word, I'll banish you back to Non Existence!
Jon: *flashes Anime at Magus*
Magus: GAH!
* Magus flees in horror
Brad: Now, our first interview is with the Man himself, Diablo!
Diablo: Not even death can save you from me... *slashes at Brad*
Brad: HEY!
Diablo: Oh sorry, habit
Jon: First question... how does it feel to be the youngest of the Prime Evils?
Diablo: Man you have no idea how bad it is. The others are CONSTANTLY bossing me around. "Go take over Tristram!" "Go send forth your terror into hell!" "Go clean your room!" Pah! Ticks me off it does
Jon: I see... How does it feel to be the "main" villain? I mean, the game series is named after you!
Diablo: Well the good part is I get all the royalties... the only downside is every time some slack-jawed wannabe yokel with delusions of granduer comes stomping into Hell, who do they come after? ME! Do they go after our leader? Do they take on that conniving worm! NO! They try to kill ME! I had to start decorating the Chaos Sanctuary with all their friggin' skulls just to find someplace to PUT them GOD it is SO ANNOYING! *hurls Red Lightning at a guy who is at that moment attacking him with a sword*
Jon: *whispers to Brad* I think he has problems.
Brad: He's a product of Blizzard, what did you expect?
* Magus walks back in
Magus: Hey everybody! Tea?
Diablo: Oooo do you have Snapple?
Jon: Uh, no.
Diablo: ....
Magus: Hey I got a question!
* Magus steps in
* Jon waves the Anime threateningly.
Magus: What is with your image in the 3D movie? I mean, your in-game sprite looks cool as hell, but in the movie you look like some dumb red dinosaur
Diablo: Well, you have to remember that the movie you see is me a few weeks earlier... After feasting on the flesh of a few hundred of Baal's succubi (I caught hell for that afterwards too...) I contacted what'sherface and started working out to lose weight.
Jon: .....
Brad: Those poor Succubi...
* Magus whispers to Jon
Magus: THIS guy is the all powerful Lord of Terror?
Jon: Well, it could be worse. We could be interviewing that Hero Fetish Witch Doctor.
Magus: Ewwww don't even joke about that
*suddenly Diablo's cell phone rings*
Diablo: Hang on this might be important... *picks it up* Hello? *voices heard on the other end* WAAAZZZAAAAPPP... *a pause* EEEEHHHH...
Jon: *bashes the cell phone to pieces* We'll have none of that!!
Diablo: *laughing so hard he's crying* Oh man I love that commercial
* Jon whispers to Magus
Jon: Who's idea was it to interview him first?
* Magus whispers back
Magus: YOURS!
* Jon glues the Anime to Magus' face.
Magus: GAAAHHHHH GET IT OFF GET IT OFF
* Magus runs around like a maniac and runs right into Diablo
Brad: So, Diablo... well, who named you Diablo? Why aren't you Lucifer? Or Satan?
Diablo: *tossing Magus into a pit of Hell* Well, see, there they were, the big wigs at Blizzard, trying to figure out my name...
Bill Roper: So... I think we should call him Diablo
Metzen: No you idiot! It has to be Lucifer! ALL POWERFUL LORD OF HELL AHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!
* Metzen sprays goat blood on himself
Bill Roper: .....
Jon: .....
Brad: .....
Grand Admiral Ronin: ....!
Diablo: So anyways I think they flipped a coin. Besides, Diablo sounds so much cooler then those other dumb names
Jon: Interesting. WELL, I'm afraid that's all the time we have today...
Magus: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SOMEONE HELP ME!!
* Magus is drowning in one of the lava pits, surrounded by Corpulents
Jon: You go get Magus.
Brad: No!
Jon: Why?!
Magus: Heeeeeeeelp!!
Brad: He's YOUR friend.
Jon: Well, he's kind of your friend too!
Brad: You've known him longer!
* Corpulents chuckle evilly
Jon: You're stronger than I am!
* the Corpulents start eating Magus
Magus: GAAAAHHHHAHAH!!
Censor: I'm sorry but the next ten minutes are censored due to graphic violence.
* Magus is heard screaming horribly in the background
* ten minutes later
Brad: Well, that was... interesting.
Jon: Stay tuned next week, when we interview Baal, Lord of Destruction!
Brad: We promise Magus will be back.
Jon: In one piece.
Diablo: Bud... weis... er...
Diablo: Ha ha I love those guys They're geniuses with commercials...
Jon: Cut!!
All the Diablo references are of course copyrighted by Blizzard. THe bud references are copyrighted by them. The GA Ronin joke is copyrighted by us. Everything else is ours. Nya! Copyrighted!
Jon: *sigh* We haven't even started the interview and he's already in seizures...
Brad: Why, oh why, did I agree to do these interviews?
Magus: Because you're not really here. This is a fictional interview, remember?
Brad: Ah, right.
Magus: And watch what ya say or, my word, I'll banish you back to Non Existence!
Jon: *flashes Anime at Magus*
Magus: GAH!
* Magus flees in horror
Brad: Now, our first interview is with the Man himself, Diablo!
Diablo: Not even death can save you from me... *slashes at Brad*
Brad: HEY!
Diablo: Oh sorry, habit
Jon: First question... how does it feel to be the youngest of the Prime Evils?
Diablo: Man you have no idea how bad it is. The others are CONSTANTLY bossing me around. "Go take over Tristram!" "Go send forth your terror into hell!" "Go clean your room!" Pah! Ticks me off it does
Jon: I see... How does it feel to be the "main" villain? I mean, the game series is named after you!
Diablo: Well the good part is I get all the royalties... the only downside is every time some slack-jawed wannabe yokel with delusions of granduer comes stomping into Hell, who do they come after? ME! Do they go after our leader? Do they take on that conniving worm! NO! They try to kill ME! I had to start decorating the Chaos Sanctuary with all their friggin' skulls just to find someplace to PUT them GOD it is SO ANNOYING! *hurls Red Lightning at a guy who is at that moment attacking him with a sword*
Jon: *whispers to Brad* I think he has problems.
Brad: He's a product of Blizzard, what did you expect?
* Magus walks back in
Magus: Hey everybody! Tea?
Diablo: Oooo do you have Snapple?
Jon: Uh, no.
Diablo: ....
Magus: Hey I got a question!
* Magus steps in
* Jon waves the Anime threateningly.
Magus: What is with your image in the 3D movie? I mean, your in-game sprite looks cool as hell, but in the movie you look like some dumb red dinosaur
Diablo: Well, you have to remember that the movie you see is me a few weeks earlier... After feasting on the flesh of a few hundred of Baal's succubi (I caught hell for that afterwards too...) I contacted what'sherface and started working out to lose weight.
Jon: .....
Brad: Those poor Succubi...
* Magus whispers to Jon
Magus: THIS guy is the all powerful Lord of Terror?
Jon: Well, it could be worse. We could be interviewing that Hero Fetish Witch Doctor.
Magus: Ewwww don't even joke about that
*suddenly Diablo's cell phone rings*
Diablo: Hang on this might be important... *picks it up* Hello? *voices heard on the other end* WAAAZZZAAAAPPP... *a pause* EEEEHHHH...
Jon: *bashes the cell phone to pieces* We'll have none of that!!
Diablo: *laughing so hard he's crying* Oh man I love that commercial
* Jon whispers to Magus
Jon: Who's idea was it to interview him first?
* Magus whispers back
Magus: YOURS!
* Jon glues the Anime to Magus' face.
Magus: GAAAHHHHH GET IT OFF GET IT OFF
* Magus runs around like a maniac and runs right into Diablo
Brad: So, Diablo... well, who named you Diablo? Why aren't you Lucifer? Or Satan?
Diablo: *tossing Magus into a pit of Hell* Well, see, there they were, the big wigs at Blizzard, trying to figure out my name...
Bill Roper: So... I think we should call him Diablo
Metzen: No you idiot! It has to be Lucifer! ALL POWERFUL LORD OF HELL AHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!
* Metzen sprays goat blood on himself
Bill Roper: .....
Jon: .....
Brad: .....
Grand Admiral Ronin: ....!
Diablo: So anyways I think they flipped a coin. Besides, Diablo sounds so much cooler then those other dumb names
Jon: Interesting. WELL, I'm afraid that's all the time we have today...
Magus: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SOMEONE HELP ME!!
* Magus is drowning in one of the lava pits, surrounded by Corpulents
Jon: You go get Magus.
Brad: No!
Jon: Why?!
Magus: Heeeeeeeelp!!
Brad: He's YOUR friend.
Jon: Well, he's kind of your friend too!
Brad: You've known him longer!
* Corpulents chuckle evilly
Jon: You're stronger than I am!
* the Corpulents start eating Magus
Magus: GAAAAHHHHAHAH!!
Censor: I'm sorry but the next ten minutes are censored due to graphic violence.
* Magus is heard screaming horribly in the background
* ten minutes later
Brad: Well, that was... interesting.
Jon: Stay tuned next week, when we interview Baal, Lord of Destruction!
Brad: We promise Magus will be back.
Jon: In one piece.
Diablo: Bud... weis... er...
Diablo: Ha ha I love those guys They're geniuses with commercials...
Jon: Cut!!
All the Diablo references are of course copyrighted by Blizzard. THe bud references are copyrighted by them. The GA Ronin joke is copyrighted by us. Everything else is ours. Nya! Copyrighted!