Magus: Muwa ha ha... welcome to another installment of the Diablo Interviews! Normally Jon and Brad would be here introducing this too, but I tied and gagged them for leaving me to rot in Hell last interview!
*cuts to a shot of Jon and Brad, tied and gagged*
Jon: MWELP MWELP
Brad: MWPHPWMEMEPWPWWPPW
Magus: *chuckles evilly*
Pablo: Mwo mwe're mwis mweek's mwo-mwosts...
Peggy: Mwa mwa mwa...
Magus: *shoots the cats* Anywho, our first interviewee is none other then the geekie--erm I mean SMARTEST man in all of Hell... Lord of Destruction... Master of his own sucky expansion pack... BAAAAAAL!!!
Baal: I'm afraid your introduction... is not acceptable... heh heh heh...
Magus: Oh will you stop?
Baal: UwahahahHAHAHAHAHAhahaha!!!
Magus: Okay first question... What's it like to have a half-rate, sucky expansion and pathetic character development in place of what had great potential and be removed from, arguably, the coolest character to the dumbest?
Baal: Well, it's somewhat degrading. But let's face it. I have the coolest FMV in the entire series! You didn't see Mephisto or Diablo being carried around on a throne! HA! I command RESPECT!
Magus: Right right... next question, what the HELL is up with the lisp?
Baal: I was drunk that day.
Magus: Right... Next question... What's up with the outfit? Or... form... or whatever... I mean, you looked so cool in the Act II FMV, and then... yeesh
Baal: Well, Tal Rasha kind of fell apart. So, I took my original form.
Magus: I see...
*meanwhile, Brad and Jon have broken out of their gags*
Baal: I look cooler anyway.
Jon: GET HIM!!!
Magus: Oh bloody hell. *runs like a little school girl*
Brad: *tackles Magus*
Baal: Hell isn't all that bloody...
Mephisto: That's what YOU think
Baal: This is MY interview! Get out!
Mephisto: No fair, why do I have to go last?! I'm the eldest! The smartest! I mean look at my D&D stats, my INT and WIS are DOUBLE yours!
Baal: Just because you composed that dumb speech doesn't mean anything! You recited the same exact speech in front of the Horadrim three eons ago!
Mephisto: It was a good speech!
Baal: It was over-used! You're just jealous that the expansion was dedicated to ME!
Mephisto: You mean that PoS crappy sucky one that had paltry graphics, no storyline, idiotic FMV's, horrible voice acting, that GOD awful laugh, and the stupidest ending in the history of existence?!
Baal: DON'T MAKE FUN OF MY LAUGH!!! Your laugh sucks!
Mephisto: GRAH! *lunges at Baal*
Baal: *in Meph-like voice* I have escaped you, uwahaha!! *skitters away*
Magus: Um, guys... GUYS... The interview... YO!
Jon: Kick him in his teeth!
Brad: *WHAM*
Magus: OW OW OW!!
Censor: Hello again... A censor's job is never done... *puts a black box over the camera*
Jon: That's all the time we have for this week... stay tuned for our next show, where we'll be interviewing the Lord of Hatred, Mephisto!
Mephisto: Your mother!
Baal: Your sister!
Mephisto: Rot in hell!
Baal: Rot in HEAVEN!
Mephisto: NO!
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