Jon: And welcome to another week of Diablo II Interviews. Magus is busy getting reconstructive surgery done, so he's not with us today.
Brad: Today's guest is the eldest Prime Evil, the Lord of Hatred, Mephisto!
*camera fixes in on Meph*
Peggy: Mwand Mwi'm mwere mwo mweprace Mwagus!
Jon: No one cares about you, Peggy. *flings her off screen by the tail*
Peggy: MRROOOOWWWW--*crash*
Mephisto: It's great to be here, thank you.
Brad: What's it like being the eldest Prime Evil?
Mephisto: Oh it's great, I love it... I get to boss everyone around, and I get to write off ALL of Hell's residents as tax write-offs! They actually pay ME each year! It's great.
Jon: Do you feel slighted that the "Diablo" series did not center around you?
Mephisto: Nah, anyone who actually, ya know, PAYS ATTENTION to the story knows that I'm the crux of the entire story. Diablo is just the little guy who runs around killing stuff.
Jon: Uh... how are YOU the crux of the entire story?
Mephisto: *stabs Jon* The story centers around ME dammit! I am in charge!!
Jon: Gyaaahh...
Mephisto: I AM THE ULTIMATE CHARACTER AAHAHHAHAHA!!!
Brad: Uh, yes, right.
*Mephisto starts frothing at the mouth cavity*
Jon: How do you... feel about your name being taken... from Christopher Marlowe's play, "Doctor Faustus"?
Mephisto: *stabs Jon again* That little halfwit was nothing compared to me! HE stole the name from me! I have always existed! I am eternal! ENDLESS!
Jon: Brad... call... 9... 11... *thud*
Brad: Uh... so... Meph...
Mephisto: LweheyehaeHEYAHEYEAHEyeheyeaeheyhaaaaa!!!!
Brad: *whispers* His laugh really does suck...
Mephisto: *stabs Brad* My laugh is TEN TIMES better than anyone else's! DO not question me! I AM GOD! YOU HEAR ME?! GOD!!!!
*Plif walks onto the studio*
Plif: I beg to differ.
Mephisto: *stabs Plif* Now I'M asking the questions! AHAHAH!! *impales Brad on one of his hands* So, Brad, what's it like to be moments away from death?
Brad: *fumbles for 911 on Speed Dial*
Jon: Guuuu... *hits a button*
*sirens are heard in the distance*
Mephisto: *tosses Brad away* Muwa ha ha... that's all the time we have for this interview, folks! But stay tuned next week, when I'll be interviewing the Lesser Evils! Ciao!
Magus: *walking in in a cast* Hi everyone. Did I miss anything?
Magus: No... SIRENS!
Magus: *shoves Mephisto into a suitcase and leaps in front of an oncoming car*
*fin*
*some kid walks in*
Kid: Man U n00bs U sux!
Magus: What'd he say?
Jon: He said 'man you newbies you suck'
Magus: Ah right... I can never understand that leet speak...
DII references copyrighted by Blizzard, the rest by us, et cetera et cetera.
Brad: Today's guest is the eldest Prime Evil, the Lord of Hatred, Mephisto!
*camera fixes in on Meph*
Peggy: Mwand Mwi'm mwere mwo mweprace Mwagus!
Jon: No one cares about you, Peggy. *flings her off screen by the tail*
Peggy: MRROOOOWWWW--*crash*
Mephisto: It's great to be here, thank you.
Brad: What's it like being the eldest Prime Evil?
Mephisto: Oh it's great, I love it... I get to boss everyone around, and I get to write off ALL of Hell's residents as tax write-offs! They actually pay ME each year! It's great.
Jon: Do you feel slighted that the "Diablo" series did not center around you?
Mephisto: Nah, anyone who actually, ya know, PAYS ATTENTION to the story knows that I'm the crux of the entire story. Diablo is just the little guy who runs around killing stuff.
Jon: Uh... how are YOU the crux of the entire story?
Mephisto: *stabs Jon* The story centers around ME dammit! I am in charge!!
Jon: Gyaaahh...
Mephisto: I AM THE ULTIMATE CHARACTER AAHAHHAHAHA!!!
Brad: Uh, yes, right.
*Mephisto starts frothing at the mouth cavity*
Jon: How do you... feel about your name being taken... from Christopher Marlowe's play, "Doctor Faustus"?
Mephisto: *stabs Jon again* That little halfwit was nothing compared to me! HE stole the name from me! I have always existed! I am eternal! ENDLESS!
Jon: Brad... call... 9... 11... *thud*
Brad: Uh... so... Meph...
Mephisto: LweheyehaeHEYAHEYEAHEyeheyeaeheyhaaaaa!!!!
Brad: *whispers* His laugh really does suck...
Mephisto: *stabs Brad* My laugh is TEN TIMES better than anyone else's! DO not question me! I AM GOD! YOU HEAR ME?! GOD!!!!
*Plif walks onto the studio*
Plif: I beg to differ.
Mephisto: *stabs Plif* Now I'M asking the questions! AHAHAH!! *impales Brad on one of his hands* So, Brad, what's it like to be moments away from death?
Brad: *fumbles for 911 on Speed Dial*
Jon: Guuuu... *hits a button*
*sirens are heard in the distance*
Mephisto: *tosses Brad away* Muwa ha ha... that's all the time we have for this interview, folks! But stay tuned next week, when I'll be interviewing the Lesser Evils! Ciao!
Magus: *walking in in a cast* Hi everyone. Did I miss anything?
Magus: No... SIRENS!
Magus: *shoves Mephisto into a suitcase and leaps in front of an oncoming car*
*fin*
*some kid walks in*
Kid: Man U n00bs U sux!
Magus: What'd he say?
Jon: He said 'man you newbies you suck'
Magus: Ah right... I can never understand that leet speak...
DII references copyrighted by Blizzard, the rest by us, et cetera et cetera.