Jon: And welcome once again to the Diablo II Interviews. Through the miracle of
FanFiction, we're interviewing Marius today!
Magus: Ain't fiction great?
*camera moves to Marius, who is visible shaking and doing other paranoid like
things*
Marius: Noo... nooooo no stay away... I didn't do it... didn't do... anything...
Jon: Indeed it is! Oh, and Brad won't be here... he's still recovered from being
impaled by Mephisto.
*camera goes to Brad laying in a hospital bed, hooked up to dozens of machines*
Jon: Hang in there, buddy!
Jon: Now, Mr. Marius...
Magus: I was beginning to think you were trying to avoid me, Marius...
Marius: No... you... it's you... I recognize you... that dumb necro that killed
Diablo...
Magus: Dumb?!
Jon: *waves the Anime threateningly at Magus*
Jon: Now, Marius, how is that you... came by Diablo?
Marius: Noo.. nooo... *claws at his face* The voices... they told me... Diablo
he... he was there... no... the WANDERER... yeeesss... wanderer... wandering
aaaaaallways wandering... the stone in his head... like a demon's curse...
Jon: *whispers* He related to YOU, by any chance...
Magus: Shut up!
Magus: *ahem* Uh, Marius... why did you doom the entire planet by thinking Baal
was Tyreal?
Marius: Nooo... nooooo noooooooooooooo I didn't I didn't mean to it wasn't it
couldn't happen nooo whaaat what did I do to deserve thiiis nooo noooooo *curls
up into a ball and starts whimpering* Nooo please eeeend this please just eend
it...
Jon: You aren't HELPING, Magus.
Magus: I was just asking a question...
Jon: *flashes the Anime at Magus*
Jon: Now, Marius... tell us about your life prior meeting the Lord of Terror.
Marius: I was a drunken man... taken down to the depths of the catacombs... and
there I met... t...the... the Butcher... a hideous, evil, EVIL demon... he... he
slaughtered them all... it... ah... aaahhh the screeeeeams...
Jon: Em...
Magus: *glances at Jon* Maybe we should get Brad to ask questions.
*camera switches to Brad's room in the hospital*
Brad: Gyaaaahhhhh... *drools*
*camera switches back*
Jon: How about your childhood?
Marius: Nooo... nooo the lord... the Lord of Hatred... he... he corrupted them
all... killed... horriible... I alone escaped...
Jon: What about Mephisto?
Magus: Give me the stone, Marius, and all is forgiven...
Marius: *looks at Magus with wide eyes*
Jon: *staples the Anime to Magus' face*
Jon: You'll have to excuse Magus, Marius...
Magus: OW
Magus: *ripping it off* Yeesh, try to have a little fun...
Jon: You're torturing the poor invalid!
Marius: T...the Lord... of... of... *starts sobbing* of Hatred... he... he
showed them all.. the most unspeakable things... they went mad, and I too... I
alone escaped his horrible condemnation...
Jon: This sounds like a plot twist...
*suddenly, Roper enters, flanked by Grunts*
Marius: It.... it... it was... DEFILER PORN!!
Roper: STOP! The plot twist herein will not be set free... even by YOU!
Jon: Oh hell.
Roper: *orders the Grunts to snag Jon, who then throw him over a nearby bridge*
Jon: GACK!!
Magus: There there... you didn't do wrong, old man. You did exactly as you were
supposed to...
*Jon manages to crawl up, only to taken by another Grunt and hurled across the
room*
Jon: OW!!
*suddenly, the studio doors are flung wide open, revealing Brad and dozens of
instruments*
Jon: Uh, Brad?
Brad: Greeyhaaa... reegaaaa...
Magus: Give me the stone and all is forgiven, Marius...
*Brad trails in several instruments, one which is sticking out of his chest*
Magus: What on EARTH
Jon: I think he escaped from the hospital...
Marius: *crawls over to Brad*
Magus: No! Don't do it!!
Marius: *pulls the instrument out of Brad's chest*
Roper: YOU FOOL!! You have just ensured the doom of this interview! You cannot
begun to imagine what you've set in motion this day!
Magus: *shoots Roper in the face*
Roper: Gyaaaaahhhhh *gurgle gurgle*
Jon: Why didn't we just interview the Dragonball Z people like I WANTED TO.
Magus: Because the DBZ people kept beating the crap out of each other and never
answered our questions.
Jon: *SIGH*
Magus: *steals several of Brad's wires and attaches them to his arm* And now,
Marius, to receive your reward... *lets them dangle out his sleeve* MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Marius: No... nooooo noooooooooooooooo
Jon: ..........Well, that's all for this week! Come back next time when we'll be
interviewing the Archangel Tyrael!
Jon:.... they gone?
Magus: Yeah.
Jon: Okay. I'll write this one up now.
Magus: Alright Be sure to do it TXT format... the site won't accept DOC's... fools...
Jon: I shall, my son... Then we shall do... TYRAEL...
Magus: I get to do Tyreal's responses :P I want to make him a bloodthirsty killer
Jon: No :P
Magus: Aw come on
Jon: You did that with Meph!
Magus: Meph IS a bloodthirsty killer you nut! Didn't you see the Durance of Hate?!
Jon: Excellent place... I love the way the light fell everso delicately on the festering corpses...
Magus: .....
Tyreal: KILL KILL KILL!! ANNIHILATE! ANNIHILATE!
Magus: Wait, is this thing still running? *taps the mic*
Jon: Oh hell... wait here I got it---*click*
*EXT COPYRIGHTS HERE*
FanFiction, we're interviewing Marius today!
Magus: Ain't fiction great?
*camera moves to Marius, who is visible shaking and doing other paranoid like
things*
Marius: Noo... nooooo no stay away... I didn't do it... didn't do... anything...
Jon: Indeed it is! Oh, and Brad won't be here... he's still recovered from being
impaled by Mephisto.
*camera goes to Brad laying in a hospital bed, hooked up to dozens of machines*
Jon: Hang in there, buddy!
Jon: Now, Mr. Marius...
Magus: I was beginning to think you were trying to avoid me, Marius...
Marius: No... you... it's you... I recognize you... that dumb necro that killed
Diablo...
Magus: Dumb?!
Jon: *waves the Anime threateningly at Magus*
Jon: Now, Marius, how is that you... came by Diablo?
Marius: Noo.. nooo... *claws at his face* The voices... they told me... Diablo
he... he was there... no... the WANDERER... yeeesss... wanderer... wandering
aaaaaallways wandering... the stone in his head... like a demon's curse...
Jon: *whispers* He related to YOU, by any chance...
Magus: Shut up!
Magus: *ahem* Uh, Marius... why did you doom the entire planet by thinking Baal
was Tyreal?
Marius: Nooo... nooooo noooooooooooooo I didn't I didn't mean to it wasn't it
couldn't happen nooo whaaat what did I do to deserve thiiis nooo noooooo *curls
up into a ball and starts whimpering* Nooo please eeeend this please just eend
it...
Jon: You aren't HELPING, Magus.
Magus: I was just asking a question...
Jon: *flashes the Anime at Magus*
Jon: Now, Marius... tell us about your life prior meeting the Lord of Terror.
Marius: I was a drunken man... taken down to the depths of the catacombs... and
there I met... t...the... the Butcher... a hideous, evil, EVIL demon... he... he
slaughtered them all... it... ah... aaahhh the screeeeeams...
Jon: Em...
Magus: *glances at Jon* Maybe we should get Brad to ask questions.
*camera switches to Brad's room in the hospital*
Brad: Gyaaaahhhhh... *drools*
*camera switches back*
Jon: How about your childhood?
Marius: Nooo... nooo the lord... the Lord of Hatred... he... he corrupted them
all... killed... horriible... I alone escaped...
Jon: What about Mephisto?
Magus: Give me the stone, Marius, and all is forgiven...
Marius: *looks at Magus with wide eyes*
Jon: *staples the Anime to Magus' face*
Jon: You'll have to excuse Magus, Marius...
Magus: OW
Magus: *ripping it off* Yeesh, try to have a little fun...
Jon: You're torturing the poor invalid!
Marius: T...the Lord... of... of... *starts sobbing* of Hatred... he... he
showed them all.. the most unspeakable things... they went mad, and I too... I
alone escaped his horrible condemnation...
Jon: This sounds like a plot twist...
*suddenly, Roper enters, flanked by Grunts*
Marius: It.... it... it was... DEFILER PORN!!
Roper: STOP! The plot twist herein will not be set free... even by YOU!
Jon: Oh hell.
Roper: *orders the Grunts to snag Jon, who then throw him over a nearby bridge*
Jon: GACK!!
Magus: There there... you didn't do wrong, old man. You did exactly as you were
supposed to...
*Jon manages to crawl up, only to taken by another Grunt and hurled across the
room*
Jon: OW!!
*suddenly, the studio doors are flung wide open, revealing Brad and dozens of
instruments*
Jon: Uh, Brad?
Brad: Greeyhaaa... reegaaaa...
Magus: Give me the stone and all is forgiven, Marius...
*Brad trails in several instruments, one which is sticking out of his chest*
Magus: What on EARTH
Jon: I think he escaped from the hospital...
Marius: *crawls over to Brad*
Magus: No! Don't do it!!
Marius: *pulls the instrument out of Brad's chest*
Roper: YOU FOOL!! You have just ensured the doom of this interview! You cannot
begun to imagine what you've set in motion this day!
Magus: *shoots Roper in the face*
Roper: Gyaaaaahhhhh *gurgle gurgle*
Jon: Why didn't we just interview the Dragonball Z people like I WANTED TO.
Magus: Because the DBZ people kept beating the crap out of each other and never
answered our questions.
Jon: *SIGH*
Magus: *steals several of Brad's wires and attaches them to his arm* And now,
Marius, to receive your reward... *lets them dangle out his sleeve* MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Marius: No... nooooo noooooooooooooooo
Jon: ..........Well, that's all for this week! Come back next time when we'll be
interviewing the Archangel Tyrael!
Jon:.... they gone?
Magus: Yeah.
Jon: Okay. I'll write this one up now.
Magus: Alright Be sure to do it TXT format... the site won't accept DOC's... fools...
Jon: I shall, my son... Then we shall do... TYRAEL...
Magus: I get to do Tyreal's responses :P I want to make him a bloodthirsty killer
Jon: No :P
Magus: Aw come on
Jon: You did that with Meph!
Magus: Meph IS a bloodthirsty killer you nut! Didn't you see the Durance of Hate?!
Jon: Excellent place... I love the way the light fell everso delicately on the festering corpses...
Magus: .....
Tyreal: KILL KILL KILL!! ANNIHILATE! ANNIHILATE!
Magus: Wait, is this thing still running? *taps the mic*
Jon: Oh hell... wait here I got it---*click*
*EXT COPYRIGHTS HERE*