Smile
Author's Ramblings:
Gods, I'm insane. I wrote a spritzer*.
Author's Meta-Ramblings: I know I have many fics that I have not worked on in over a year. I feel really, really bad about that. If I've had you dangling on cliffs due to their incompletion, consider this my most sincere atonement. * bow *
Disclaimer: I just play with them.
~ ~ ~
I'll never forget that look on her face.
She's smiling and waving happily to me, because she thinks I'm finally doing what will make me happy. Her hair is streaming in the roaring winds and I can't take my eyes off of her. Oh gods, if only….
I'll never forget this searing heat.
She's cheerful because she thinks I'm ecstatic. She thinks my smile is one of happiness. If only…if only she knew how wrong she is. I'm smiling because Fate has bested me again, has conquered my every desire. A thousand arrows couldn't equal the agony I feel right now. Oh gods, if only…she….
I'll never forget the cold body clinging to me.
Her eyes are bright because…she's happy for me. Fuck, she's happy for me!! Damn it—no, damn me!
"Be h-happy, Inuyasha!"
Her voice cracked. I just know she's going to cry…after…. But I won't be here to dry her tears. I won't…be here. Shit. Oh gods, if only she….
"Be h-happy w-with Kikyo!"
No! Damn it, don't you understand?! I won't be happy with Kikyo! I was only ever happy with YOU!! I don't want to go…don't make me leave you like this, Kagome!
Kagome!
She waves.
Kagome!
She laughs.
KAGOME!
She smiles.
The fire consumes Kikyo and me.
KAGOME!!!!
She wails.
Oh gods, if only she knew.
I've had my eye on her for a while now.
My karma is shit. Maybe I can make it better this time. I promise I'll never push her away ever again. I'll do things for her. I'll smile for her this time, because I didn't back then.
"Ah, Higurashi!"
"Hojo-kun?"
"I decided to stop by to see how you're doing. I heard you had malaria last week."
"Ano…Hojo-kun…."
"Anyway, I was wondering if maybe you'd like to see a movie this Saturday—that is, if you're up to it."
"…I'm sorry, but…."
"Oh, that's okay! I understand. Maybe some other time when you're not as ill. Well then, ja, Higurashi!"
"…Ja." Sigh. "Souta! Don't creep up on me like that!"
"Gomen. So, who was that, nee-chan?"
"Just a boy from my class."
"Do you like him?"
"NO!"
Pause. "Mama wanted me to tell you that we're having oden for dinner."
She smiled.
I smiled back. Even though this time, I'm the one who can't be with her.
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* = (spritzer – n. fanfiction with an incredible, unexpected twist which is assumed by the reader and followed by another twist that negates the first)