Author's note : Okay, this fic is...demented, to say the least. I was re-reading some of my fic, and toying with some of an idea I've had in my mind, I decided to create this. Don't request to have more, this is one-shot. I'm introducing, developing and concluding all plot points inside this chapter. Don't request for more, for it shall not be given. I'm assuming they're in Osaka. If only because it's clearer in my mind (and I wanna write a CvS2/BB crossover one day, I know that would suck, but I have this to say about this : "BIG ANGSTY MEH!"
Oh, and also, one of the Bladebreakers get drunk. You're going to know who later.
WARNING : Shounen-ai, again, Max/Rei. As oddball as this couple sounds, I just wanted to write about it. I'd tell you to go away if you don't like it, but I certainly don't give a rat's shit.
DISCLAIMER : Think about it, would Beyblade, the anime, be popular if I owned it? Get real.
-------------
The Wrong Road
By Igatona
-------------
"You're invited! Yes, you! To the annual Osaka blader's party coming this saturday. Hoping for your answer ASAP."
Max re-read this again, and once again to make sure it was all true, and yet not a cruel joke. He also called Tyson which confirmed to him that yes, they were all invited to a party! In addition, everyone from the team had confirmed their presence, and Max, as awkward as it was, was ready to ask one of them out to the party, or at least, confess his love for them AT the party. He had suffered enough, building himself an inpenetrable fortress of false happiness to ward off everyone who would want to attack him for his difference. He wanted to destroy that castle of pain, and he knew of only one person who could do it, his savior, his hero, as he was the damsel in distress.
Rei.
Rei Kon.
Or, in Max's lovelorn language, perfection.
However, butterflies were flying inside his stomach, in pretty much the same way that doubts were hurling themselves at his brain, as thoughts of "What if he doesn't love me back?", "What if he hates me afterwards?", going to "What if the whole TEAM hates me afterwards?" were attacking his soul, the very foundation of his love. He knew he couldn't get Rei by himself, and he knew he couldn't have the courage to face Rei alone, especially not with a secret that darkened and corrupt. He had to stand in front of Rei, the one who made his heart sink and his whole being melt down with joy every time he saw him. Not only he had to stand in front of Rei, but he had to say these words :
"I love you, Rei."
For a lot of people, these words were easy to say, they were the simplest, yet the words that made everyone happy. However, for Max, it was the most harsh words to ever have been created by the english language, because the words couldn't come to him when he had to say them to Rei. "I always choke when it comes to big moments...first against Gary, then now...sigh, I'm not good enough for life..." thought Max. He wanted to say : "Screw the party, it's making me feel uncomfortable." But he couldn't. He knew that if he didn't tell Rei now, he would never tell him, and he knew that he wanted to know if Rei felt the same, he wanted to feel the former White Tiger's hands upon his chest, much as he wanted to feel up his love, and as much as it pained him, he would never get to do that if he cannot tell Rei that he loves him.
Max, instead of preparing a nice suit for the party, had been watching sloppy soaps all day. He figured it wouldn't really matter if he wore the same old orange suspenders and green shirt again, even if it was something high-class. He didn't particularly care at the moment, and wanted to stay true to himself, he knew that if he even changed one thing about himself on that night, Rei might think something's wrong and it might jeopardize the whole thing.
"Hey, didn't that Martha girl go out with Jimmy ten minutes ago?" he told himself. He still had not understood the concept of a soap opera, though he did see a common pattern in these shows. All of the characters, in a tight spot, drank.
He figured, "Hey, I'm in a tight spot, and everyone says that alcohol gives you courage, oh, what the hell can I risk?".
His father was out working at the hobby shop in front, so the house was pretty empty, he wouldn't finish working until Max was long gone to the party, and he wouldn't notice one or two ounces missing from the bottle, right?
Max saw something with "40% strong", it was called "rum". He poured himself a shooter, and drank it all. It tasted awful!
Then again, he needed all the courage he could get.
He went into the fridge, getting one drink of cola, then pouring himself a slightly taller glass, letting the two liquids mix together like he hoped Rei and him would later this evening. Suddenly, it didn't taste as bad, in fact, it was somewhat good! He poured himself another glass, then another. Deciding he had enough courage for the night, he grabbed his coat and went to go out.
What he didn't know is that the full effect didn't hit yet. He felt a little tipsy, but that's it.
* * *
The party had been going on marvelously for the hosts and the invitees, everyone mingling in social events, some chatting up a storm, some emptying the buffet, some enjoying the quality music, alone. Rei had reserved a table for when the band would start to play, for the main floor was reserved for dancing, and since none of them had any girls to invite to dance, they weren't invited on the dance floor. Rei was sitting down, looking lazily at his drink, and sipping it, to wallow in its grape flavor. Rei was watching the other Bladebreakers and chuckling to himself a bit, since they were all reacting pretty much to the mainstream opinion of what they would do at the party. Tyson was pigging out at the buffet, not even returning to the table before finishing his plate and getting himself another, lots of people are quite ticked at the young beyblader's lack of manners, but they decided not to bring the manner up, being as Tyson was very sensitive, and quick to anger. They didn't need an angry teenager with repulsive eating habits.
Next up was Kai, all scooped up in his corner, looking as stoic and as pained as he could, seeing as he thought of this party to be a "grand waste of time". However, he enjoyed the music on the sound system, it hadn't switched to the painful grinding of a synthetizer yet, and Kai liked that in music. The fact that some of it wasn't synth and most of it had real piano. Kai had fallen in love with the piano and a lot of aspects of it, except the synth. He enjoyed a good sonata, and his favorite was the Moonlight Sonata, which, he hoped, would be played later tonight. That way, he wouldn't have stayed there in vain.
Finally, Kenny was chatting up a storm with the party hosts, asking them what would come up later so he could know if he needed to find himself a girl to execute such exercises, but he only saw dancing as such an exercise, and since he did not know how to dance, he'd stay at the table with Rei. In fact, he was going back there now.
* * *
Max felt the alcohol hit him like an 18-wheeler as soon as he knew he was near the party. It was hard seeing straight and even more impossible walking straight, a situation which ironically fitted him, since by society's terms, that's what he wasn't and why he had become so crooked in the first place. After falling down a few times, he finally made it to the fancy hotel inside, which ironically, was Rei's hotel for the moment, showed the butler his invitation, and managed to gain access without embarrassing himself too much to the elevator. After pushing the wrong button three times, he finally made it to the good floor! The first person he knew that he saw was Tyson, still eating up a storm, but having slowed down a bit, since he wanted to taste all of the food now that he was nearly filled. Max tried his best to run towards him, arms wide open, with a big goofy, drunken, grin and the same drunken characteristic haze in his eyes.
"TYSOOOOOOOOOOON! OLDSH BUDDY OLD PALSH! COME HERE!" he slurred. Tyson turned around and was tackled by Max, sending the duo inside the buffet table, Max hugged him and went to bother someone else. However, Tyson had the time to smell the heavy breath of alcohol on him, and to wipe his nose. One look behind him, though, and he could see that the food was wasted and thus, was put in the feeling in between sadness and anger. Max didn't show signs of stopping, because he saw the Chief. To blend in the crowd somewhat, he went to take another drink, this time, wine. Trying his damnest not to drop it and not to fall down himself, he slowly, clumsily, and more importantly, drunkily, made his way to Kenny. Kenny was ending an interseting conversation on the future of beyblading, and thus did not like to be deranged by a drunken lunatic.
"HEEEEEEY! IT'SH MY BEEEEEEEEEEEEEESHT FRIENDSH KENNI!" slurred Max, while making an obvious wave towards his general direction. Kenny looked somewhat confused.
"Uhh...hey Max, how's it going?"
"It'sh going fine and dandyness! I neeever thoughsht you had that much friendsh, Kenni!" said Max, at higher decibels than normal. If that could be considered normal. Kenny, and so did the other people around, could smell the results of 3 rum and cokes, especially some with more rum than coke.
"Max!? Have you been drinking!?"
"YEEEESH! How'd you guess!?" said Max as he swigged down his wine glass.
"Your breath stinks like no tomorrow!"
"Really? You mean I shouldn't go talk to Rei and tell him how much I love him and want to cuddle him and want him to fuck me silly just like I want to do that to him?"
"NO! Erm, wait, did you tell me that you're in love with Rei?"
"Yeaaash! I'm in love with the most WONDERFUL GUY IN THE WHOLE WORLD! REEEEI KON!" yelled Max. Rei had been watching Max's strange antics, and wanted to see what was wrong with his teammate. Max was not as clumsy as Tyson, so wasn't prone to falling around and dropping things. However, Max was not prone to yelling out someone's name, and especially not loving them. While Kai had mentioned the odd hint about him not liking anyone, instead giving his love to music that managed to touch him, and for music to do that, it needed to be quite strong indeed. While Kenny had mentioned the odd hint that he liked Emily, Max had never talked about his crushes at all, and yet, Rei almost felt guilty, because he felt that Max had gotten himself into such a depraved state just because of him. He slowly got up, and went to rescue Kenny from what could have been classified as "Death By Embarassment".
"REEEEI! TEAMMAITE, FRIENDSH! LET'SH HUG!" said Max as he opened his arms wide and wrapped Rei inside them. Rei blushed, and quickly realized that Max, well, was drunk.
"Max!? Are you...drunk!?" said Rei. He wanted to make sure.
"I sure am, hot stuff! I am drunk on love! Love for YOU, Rei! Did I tell you you are HOT!? Speaking of hot, did I mention you also have the hottest buns this side of the Earth? OOO-HEE! All of you boys and girls, watch out, 'cause Rei's on the prowl! TAKE ME REI! TAKE ME!" slurred Max, for everyone to hear. Kai was hesitating on two options, the first one was going there to kick Max's ass because he had interrupted his appreciation of Beethoven, and the other was to laugh his ass off because Max is currently making a complete fool of himself.
"Max! Get a hold of yourself! You're acting like a fool!"
"Your love makes me act like a fool! Make me a man, Rei! MAKE ME A MAN!" yelled Max, at the displeasure of the other patrons.
"I have no choice..." said Rei as he grabbed Max and carried him in a piggy back manner.
"Ugh...I think I'm gonna be..." said Max lowly before puking what he had eaten in the night.
"I'm getting you to a room, and then we'll talk, Max..." said Rei before exiting the floor, getting Max to his room.
* * *
Max had been sleeping for the past two hours inside Rei's bed, having a bucket to empty his stomach in. Rei kept on watching over Max, refusing to go back to the party even after all the others implored him to do so and to let Max just reap what he sewed. However, Rei wanted to watch Max, making sure he did not do something stupid such as shooting himself down the balcony. The more Rei thought about it, the more he thought it would be painful to lose Max.
Max woke up a bit, still a bit groggy, and still a bit drunk though now, a lot less than earlier.
"Feeling better?" Rei asked.
"Ugh...I've got a good headache...uwaa...it hurts..." answered Max.
"Tell me, Max. Why did you do this?"
"I wanted to tell you something I couldn't tell you...I needed courage..."
"What was that thing? That you loved me?"
"How did you guess?"
"You yelled it to the crowd..."
"Did I? Oh my god...I think I'm gonna faint right here..."
"Max...Max! It's nothing to be ashamed of...honest!"
"It is! I don't love girls! I love guys! And now, you're mad at me! I wanna die..."
"No, I'm not mad at you Max, and you don't want to die!"
"You...aren't?"
"No, I'm not. I just would have prefered you told it to me while sober...you know..."
"...what?"
"I love you too, Max..."
"You...you...do!?"
"Yes, I do...now come closer..."
"I'm cold, Rei..."
"I know...let's go to bed..."
They hugged each other, as Rei removed his shirt and stood only in his boxers as Max soaked up the sights. He turned off the lights as they slipped both into bed, each of their warmth enveloping the other and multiplying it a thousandfold.
"Sorry about tonight, Rei...I didn't mean to puke on you..." regretfully said Max.
"Shhhhh...I want to feel you just a little more...just sleep now, my Max..."
"Goodnight, Rei..."
"Goodnight, Max..."
They fell asleep in a dream of each other.
* * *
Max woke up, feeling the warm embrace of something that looked pretty much like a human arm, and wondered what the hell had transpired that last night. He also wondered why the hell he had one of the worst headaches ever. He turned around, and almost fainted on the spot, here was Rei, given to him on a silver platter, having his arms wrapped around him. It seems that his last night, although it gave him the headache, and what seems to be one of the worst feelings in the world, had also given him the best one, love. Rei's love in particular.
-------------
Finished.
Wasn't that fun, people? I've been listening to a song, guess if you can identify it. If the person with the right answer wants me to fill a request or something for getting it right, they can always e-mail me. Not that it's going to happen of course. In any case, review.
I think this is one of the first drunkfics in the Beyblade section, and it was a blast to write, especially at 1:30 AM. Maybe I'd have gotten more writing material if I was drunk.
Oh, and also, one of the Bladebreakers get drunk. You're going to know who later.
WARNING : Shounen-ai, again, Max/Rei. As oddball as this couple sounds, I just wanted to write about it. I'd tell you to go away if you don't like it, but I certainly don't give a rat's shit.
DISCLAIMER : Think about it, would Beyblade, the anime, be popular if I owned it? Get real.
-------------
The Wrong Road
By Igatona
-------------
"You're invited! Yes, you! To the annual Osaka blader's party coming this saturday. Hoping for your answer ASAP."
Max re-read this again, and once again to make sure it was all true, and yet not a cruel joke. He also called Tyson which confirmed to him that yes, they were all invited to a party! In addition, everyone from the team had confirmed their presence, and Max, as awkward as it was, was ready to ask one of them out to the party, or at least, confess his love for them AT the party. He had suffered enough, building himself an inpenetrable fortress of false happiness to ward off everyone who would want to attack him for his difference. He wanted to destroy that castle of pain, and he knew of only one person who could do it, his savior, his hero, as he was the damsel in distress.
Rei.
Rei Kon.
Or, in Max's lovelorn language, perfection.
However, butterflies were flying inside his stomach, in pretty much the same way that doubts were hurling themselves at his brain, as thoughts of "What if he doesn't love me back?", "What if he hates me afterwards?", going to "What if the whole TEAM hates me afterwards?" were attacking his soul, the very foundation of his love. He knew he couldn't get Rei by himself, and he knew he couldn't have the courage to face Rei alone, especially not with a secret that darkened and corrupt. He had to stand in front of Rei, the one who made his heart sink and his whole being melt down with joy every time he saw him. Not only he had to stand in front of Rei, but he had to say these words :
"I love you, Rei."
For a lot of people, these words were easy to say, they were the simplest, yet the words that made everyone happy. However, for Max, it was the most harsh words to ever have been created by the english language, because the words couldn't come to him when he had to say them to Rei. "I always choke when it comes to big moments...first against Gary, then now...sigh, I'm not good enough for life..." thought Max. He wanted to say : "Screw the party, it's making me feel uncomfortable." But he couldn't. He knew that if he didn't tell Rei now, he would never tell him, and he knew that he wanted to know if Rei felt the same, he wanted to feel the former White Tiger's hands upon his chest, much as he wanted to feel up his love, and as much as it pained him, he would never get to do that if he cannot tell Rei that he loves him.
Max, instead of preparing a nice suit for the party, had been watching sloppy soaps all day. He figured it wouldn't really matter if he wore the same old orange suspenders and green shirt again, even if it was something high-class. He didn't particularly care at the moment, and wanted to stay true to himself, he knew that if he even changed one thing about himself on that night, Rei might think something's wrong and it might jeopardize the whole thing.
"Hey, didn't that Martha girl go out with Jimmy ten minutes ago?" he told himself. He still had not understood the concept of a soap opera, though he did see a common pattern in these shows. All of the characters, in a tight spot, drank.
He figured, "Hey, I'm in a tight spot, and everyone says that alcohol gives you courage, oh, what the hell can I risk?".
His father was out working at the hobby shop in front, so the house was pretty empty, he wouldn't finish working until Max was long gone to the party, and he wouldn't notice one or two ounces missing from the bottle, right?
Max saw something with "40% strong", it was called "rum". He poured himself a shooter, and drank it all. It tasted awful!
Then again, he needed all the courage he could get.
He went into the fridge, getting one drink of cola, then pouring himself a slightly taller glass, letting the two liquids mix together like he hoped Rei and him would later this evening. Suddenly, it didn't taste as bad, in fact, it was somewhat good! He poured himself another glass, then another. Deciding he had enough courage for the night, he grabbed his coat and went to go out.
What he didn't know is that the full effect didn't hit yet. He felt a little tipsy, but that's it.
* * *
The party had been going on marvelously for the hosts and the invitees, everyone mingling in social events, some chatting up a storm, some emptying the buffet, some enjoying the quality music, alone. Rei had reserved a table for when the band would start to play, for the main floor was reserved for dancing, and since none of them had any girls to invite to dance, they weren't invited on the dance floor. Rei was sitting down, looking lazily at his drink, and sipping it, to wallow in its grape flavor. Rei was watching the other Bladebreakers and chuckling to himself a bit, since they were all reacting pretty much to the mainstream opinion of what they would do at the party. Tyson was pigging out at the buffet, not even returning to the table before finishing his plate and getting himself another, lots of people are quite ticked at the young beyblader's lack of manners, but they decided not to bring the manner up, being as Tyson was very sensitive, and quick to anger. They didn't need an angry teenager with repulsive eating habits.
Next up was Kai, all scooped up in his corner, looking as stoic and as pained as he could, seeing as he thought of this party to be a "grand waste of time". However, he enjoyed the music on the sound system, it hadn't switched to the painful grinding of a synthetizer yet, and Kai liked that in music. The fact that some of it wasn't synth and most of it had real piano. Kai had fallen in love with the piano and a lot of aspects of it, except the synth. He enjoyed a good sonata, and his favorite was the Moonlight Sonata, which, he hoped, would be played later tonight. That way, he wouldn't have stayed there in vain.
Finally, Kenny was chatting up a storm with the party hosts, asking them what would come up later so he could know if he needed to find himself a girl to execute such exercises, but he only saw dancing as such an exercise, and since he did not know how to dance, he'd stay at the table with Rei. In fact, he was going back there now.
* * *
Max felt the alcohol hit him like an 18-wheeler as soon as he knew he was near the party. It was hard seeing straight and even more impossible walking straight, a situation which ironically fitted him, since by society's terms, that's what he wasn't and why he had become so crooked in the first place. After falling down a few times, he finally made it to the fancy hotel inside, which ironically, was Rei's hotel for the moment, showed the butler his invitation, and managed to gain access without embarrassing himself too much to the elevator. After pushing the wrong button three times, he finally made it to the good floor! The first person he knew that he saw was Tyson, still eating up a storm, but having slowed down a bit, since he wanted to taste all of the food now that he was nearly filled. Max tried his best to run towards him, arms wide open, with a big goofy, drunken, grin and the same drunken characteristic haze in his eyes.
"TYSOOOOOOOOOOON! OLDSH BUDDY OLD PALSH! COME HERE!" he slurred. Tyson turned around and was tackled by Max, sending the duo inside the buffet table, Max hugged him and went to bother someone else. However, Tyson had the time to smell the heavy breath of alcohol on him, and to wipe his nose. One look behind him, though, and he could see that the food was wasted and thus, was put in the feeling in between sadness and anger. Max didn't show signs of stopping, because he saw the Chief. To blend in the crowd somewhat, he went to take another drink, this time, wine. Trying his damnest not to drop it and not to fall down himself, he slowly, clumsily, and more importantly, drunkily, made his way to Kenny. Kenny was ending an interseting conversation on the future of beyblading, and thus did not like to be deranged by a drunken lunatic.
"HEEEEEEY! IT'SH MY BEEEEEEEEEEEEEESHT FRIENDSH KENNI!" slurred Max, while making an obvious wave towards his general direction. Kenny looked somewhat confused.
"Uhh...hey Max, how's it going?"
"It'sh going fine and dandyness! I neeever thoughsht you had that much friendsh, Kenni!" said Max, at higher decibels than normal. If that could be considered normal. Kenny, and so did the other people around, could smell the results of 3 rum and cokes, especially some with more rum than coke.
"Max!? Have you been drinking!?"
"YEEEESH! How'd you guess!?" said Max as he swigged down his wine glass.
"Your breath stinks like no tomorrow!"
"Really? You mean I shouldn't go talk to Rei and tell him how much I love him and want to cuddle him and want him to fuck me silly just like I want to do that to him?"
"NO! Erm, wait, did you tell me that you're in love with Rei?"
"Yeaaash! I'm in love with the most WONDERFUL GUY IN THE WHOLE WORLD! REEEEI KON!" yelled Max. Rei had been watching Max's strange antics, and wanted to see what was wrong with his teammate. Max was not as clumsy as Tyson, so wasn't prone to falling around and dropping things. However, Max was not prone to yelling out someone's name, and especially not loving them. While Kai had mentioned the odd hint about him not liking anyone, instead giving his love to music that managed to touch him, and for music to do that, it needed to be quite strong indeed. While Kenny had mentioned the odd hint that he liked Emily, Max had never talked about his crushes at all, and yet, Rei almost felt guilty, because he felt that Max had gotten himself into such a depraved state just because of him. He slowly got up, and went to rescue Kenny from what could have been classified as "Death By Embarassment".
"REEEEI! TEAMMAITE, FRIENDSH! LET'SH HUG!" said Max as he opened his arms wide and wrapped Rei inside them. Rei blushed, and quickly realized that Max, well, was drunk.
"Max!? Are you...drunk!?" said Rei. He wanted to make sure.
"I sure am, hot stuff! I am drunk on love! Love for YOU, Rei! Did I tell you you are HOT!? Speaking of hot, did I mention you also have the hottest buns this side of the Earth? OOO-HEE! All of you boys and girls, watch out, 'cause Rei's on the prowl! TAKE ME REI! TAKE ME!" slurred Max, for everyone to hear. Kai was hesitating on two options, the first one was going there to kick Max's ass because he had interrupted his appreciation of Beethoven, and the other was to laugh his ass off because Max is currently making a complete fool of himself.
"Max! Get a hold of yourself! You're acting like a fool!"
"Your love makes me act like a fool! Make me a man, Rei! MAKE ME A MAN!" yelled Max, at the displeasure of the other patrons.
"I have no choice..." said Rei as he grabbed Max and carried him in a piggy back manner.
"Ugh...I think I'm gonna be..." said Max lowly before puking what he had eaten in the night.
"I'm getting you to a room, and then we'll talk, Max..." said Rei before exiting the floor, getting Max to his room.
* * *
Max had been sleeping for the past two hours inside Rei's bed, having a bucket to empty his stomach in. Rei kept on watching over Max, refusing to go back to the party even after all the others implored him to do so and to let Max just reap what he sewed. However, Rei wanted to watch Max, making sure he did not do something stupid such as shooting himself down the balcony. The more Rei thought about it, the more he thought it would be painful to lose Max.
Max woke up a bit, still a bit groggy, and still a bit drunk though now, a lot less than earlier.
"Feeling better?" Rei asked.
"Ugh...I've got a good headache...uwaa...it hurts..." answered Max.
"Tell me, Max. Why did you do this?"
"I wanted to tell you something I couldn't tell you...I needed courage..."
"What was that thing? That you loved me?"
"How did you guess?"
"You yelled it to the crowd..."
"Did I? Oh my god...I think I'm gonna faint right here..."
"Max...Max! It's nothing to be ashamed of...honest!"
"It is! I don't love girls! I love guys! And now, you're mad at me! I wanna die..."
"No, I'm not mad at you Max, and you don't want to die!"
"You...aren't?"
"No, I'm not. I just would have prefered you told it to me while sober...you know..."
"...what?"
"I love you too, Max..."
"You...you...do!?"
"Yes, I do...now come closer..."
"I'm cold, Rei..."
"I know...let's go to bed..."
They hugged each other, as Rei removed his shirt and stood only in his boxers as Max soaked up the sights. He turned off the lights as they slipped both into bed, each of their warmth enveloping the other and multiplying it a thousandfold.
"Sorry about tonight, Rei...I didn't mean to puke on you..." regretfully said Max.
"Shhhhh...I want to feel you just a little more...just sleep now, my Max..."
"Goodnight, Rei..."
"Goodnight, Max..."
They fell asleep in a dream of each other.
* * *
Max woke up, feeling the warm embrace of something that looked pretty much like a human arm, and wondered what the hell had transpired that last night. He also wondered why the hell he had one of the worst headaches ever. He turned around, and almost fainted on the spot, here was Rei, given to him on a silver platter, having his arms wrapped around him. It seems that his last night, although it gave him the headache, and what seems to be one of the worst feelings in the world, had also given him the best one, love. Rei's love in particular.
-------------
Finished.
Wasn't that fun, people? I've been listening to a song, guess if you can identify it. If the person with the right answer wants me to fill a request or something for getting it right, they can always e-mail me. Not that it's going to happen of course. In any case, review.
I think this is one of the first drunkfics in the Beyblade section, and it was a blast to write, especially at 1:30 AM. Maybe I'd have gotten more writing material if I was drunk.