The Night Before Christmas ~ TRIGUN Style
By: Rachia
Disclaimer: Still own nothing, 'cept my pencil & Notebook. I don't even own the computer I'm using to type on.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Vash: *clears throat* 'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, Not a creature was stirring, Not even a mouse. *blinks* If no one is stirring, then how am I up walking around and telling the story?
Rachia: -_-; Does it matter? Just read!
Vash: Fine. The stockings were hung by the chimney with ca-- O.o. Wait... we have a chimney?
Rachia: *mutters something about reasons why she shouldn't maim certain spiky-haired gunmen narrators and points at a cardboard fireplace and chimney* Yes Vash, we have a fire place. Now read your damn script.
Vash: All right, all right! The stockings were hung by the chi-- Rachia?
R: What?
Vash: Can I have a donut?
Rachia: *falls over anime style* Sure Vash *gets back up, dusts herself off, and sits in her chair again* Whatever. After we get through with this though.
Vash: ^_^. YAY! The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, in hopes that Saint Nicky-kun soon would be there!
Wolfwood: *offstage* WHO THE HELL WROTE THIS!?
Rachia: *whistles innocently*
Vash: *blinks* ooookay... The children were nestled all snug in their beds... *looks at Milly and Legato, who are pretending to be sleeping* Aww... Kawaii, ne?
Rachia: *downs some aspirin* Sure. Great. Whatever. Just read.
Vash: Sheesh! The children were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of su-- *blinks* while visions of DONUTS danced in their heads! ^_^.
Rachia: Nani!? Vash! The line is SUGARPLUMS! Not DONUTS!
Vash: Well, I don't even know what those are!
Rachia: SO?!?
Milly: *opens her eyes* I don't know what they are either, but I prefer pudding! ^_^ *closes her eyes again*
Legato: *opens eyes, or at least the one eye we can see* If were taking liberties with the lines, then I prefer hot dogs. *closes eyes... erm... eye...*
Rachia: -_-; *downs a few more aspirin* Whatever.
Vash: Okay... so... While visions of pudding and hot dogs danced in their heads. *walks across the stage to the side where a large canopy bed is facing a window. Meryl is lying in the bed in her skimpy nightgown* *sits on the side of the bed* O.O. *sees Meryl's nightgown* ^_^.
Meryl: Vash... Don't. Say. A. WORD. Just read your lines so the insa-- err... so the WONDERFUL authoress will let us go home.
Vash: ^_^. Meryl-chaaaaaaaaan...
Meryl: *fire eyes* READ!
Vash: EEP!
Rachia: *repeatedly slams herself in the head with a notebook* Read *slam* your *slam* lines *slam*
Vash: And Meryl-chan in her *Hentai grin* NIGHTGOWN *Meryl glares* and I in my cap... Rachia. I don't have a cap.
Rachia: Does it matter?! JUST READ!
Vash: FINE. Had just settled down for a long winters nap. *low voice* though if I get my way, there wouldn't be a whole lot of napping going on... *Hentai grin*
Meryl: *twitch* *stress mark* *twitch* *WHACK*
Vash: T_T. *slap mark* Owwie.
Rachia: *more aspirin*
Vash: When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter... Rachia... what's "A Rose Suchak Ladder"?
(A/N: Me no own "The Santa Clause" either)
Rachia: It's "arose such a clatter". It means, "There came a big noise." Now read.
Vash: Okay... I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter *jumps up & hits his head on the bar of the canopy part of the bed* @_@. Itai. *falls backwards and lands his head quite conveniently on Meryl's lap*
Meryl: *blush *
Vash: *Hentai grin*
Meryl: *twitch* *WHACK*
Vash: *ANOTHER slap mark*
Rachia: *even more aspirin* Vash, stop being a pervert and read.
Vash: Aww... FINE... *springs out of bed successfully this time* Away to the window I flew like a flash *runs to the window* Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash... *blinks* but I don't LIKE throwing up!
Rachia: -_- It means tossed up in the air. NOT vomit.
Vash: Oh. Okay then. *rips open the curtains on the window and opens it* The moon... err... MOONS on the breast of the new-fallen snow... we don't HAVE snow. We have sand.
Rachia: Vash.
Vash: Yes?
Rachia: SHUT UP AND READ!
Vash: Meep. The moons on the breast of the new-fallen snow gave a luster of midday to objects below. When what to my wondering eyes should appear but a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer! With a little old driver, so lively and quick, I knew in a moment, it MUST be Saint Nick...y-kun.
Wolfwood: *offstage* TONGARI! Ya call me that again and I'll cause you SERIOUS bodily injury!
Vash: Ehehe... *big grin* *sweatdrop* AHEM! More rapid than eagles his coursers they came, and he whistled and shouted and called them by name!
Wolfwood: *is pulled out in a 'sleigh' by the Gung-Ho Guns and Knives, who is still muttering darkly about being a reindeer* ... *fishes in the pockets of his costume for a cigarette, finds one, then lights it* Now...
Rachia: CHOTTO MATTE! *marches up to Wolfwood and takes his cigarette, stomping it out* Santa CANT smoke! It portrays a bad image!
Wolfwood: NANI!?
Rachia: You heard me.
Wolfwood: *mutters* lunatic bitch...
Rachia: What was that?!
Wolfwood: Uh... "lovely authoress"?
Rachia: *mutters* Yeah sure it was, Wolfie. Now READ!
Wolfwood: *in a monotone voice* Now Millions, now Hornfreak. Now Gale and Cyclops. On Longshot, on Beast-brat. On Mine and on Blade-brain.
Rachia: -_- Wolfie....
Wolfwood: What NOW?
Rachia: One, don't take liberties with the script.
Wolfwood: Well I'm not sayin' the line again.
Rachia: Whatever. Two, Read with a bit more enthusiasm, will you?
Wolfwood: -_- ... *forces himself to sound cheery, to the point where he sounds like a deep voiced cheerleader on speed* OKAY! To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall! Now dash away! DASH AWAY! DASH AWAY ALL! *glares at Rachia* *normal voice* Better?
Rachia: Scarily better. *mutters* smart-ass *normal voice* Okay Vash, back to your lines now.
Vash: *snores*
Rachia: Vash?
Meryl: -_- He's sleeping.
Rachia: *sweatdrop* You're kidding me...
Meryl: No. He's sleeping like a baby. A tall, perverted, spiky-headed blonde baby.
Rachia: OI! VASH! WAKE UP!
Vash: *snores louder*
Rachia: Grr... *stomps over to him, leans down by his ear and yells* IF YOU DON'T WAKE YOUR LAZY ASS UP, I'LL MAKE SURE YOU NEVER EAT ANOTHER DONUT AS LONG AS YOU LIVE!
Vash: *eyes snap open* O.O.
Rachia: That actually WORKED?
Vash: *whimpers* I'm going to live for a long time, and I doubt I could go that long with out yummy, appetizing, scrumptious, delicious, luscious, delectable, mouth-watering, lip smacking, tasty, sugary ... *babbles on for nearly a half an hour* palatable, flavourful, wonderful, and generally terrific donuts!
Rachia: *has been nodding off*
Vash: ... ... ... Rachia?
Rachia: Hunh?!
Vash: You wouldn't REALLY make your favourite bishounen go without his favourite food, would you? *sparkles*
Rachia: Who said you're my favourite?
Vash: I'm not?! T_T.
Rachia: Well, you ARE... but you shouldn't jump to conclusions. Just read your lines.
Vash: ^_^. Okies! As dry as the leaves that before the wild hurrica-- TYPHOON fly, when they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky *the Gung-Ho Guns & Knives drag the sleigh across the stage and up a ramp to the 'roof' of the house* Up to the housetop the coursers they flew, with a sleigh full of toys and Saint Nicky-kun too!
Wolfwood: *twitches* TONGARI! I TOLD YA NOT TO CALL ME THAT!
Vash: ^_^.; And then in a twinkling, I heard on the roof, the pranc-- the clomping and stomping of each giant foot!
Rachia: That's NOT what it says, Vash.
Vash: Well, do you really think they have "little hooves"?
Rachia: I see your point... *downs some more aspirin* Continue.
Vash: As I drew in my head... *blinks* I'm still supposed to be out the window?
Rachia: Yep.
Vash: *sticks his head out the window again* As I drew in my head... *pulls his head in and slams the back of it against the window* ITAI!
Wolfwood, Meryl, Knives & The Gung-Ho Guns: *all laugh*
Milly: Are you all right, Vash-san?
Rachia: He's fine, Milly. The blonde porcupine over there hit himself in the one spot where it'll do the least damage.
Milly: O.o Huh?
Rachia: Nothing, nevermind. Vash, read!
Vash: @_@. BIIIIIIIIIIRDIIIIIIES!
Rachia: -_- Vash -- *HELLFIRE in her eyes* SNAP OUT OF IT AND READ, DAMNIT!!!!! *goes back to "normal"* Okay?
Vash: O.O. h-hai... As I drew in my head and was turning around, down the chimney Saint Nicky-kun came with a bound.
Wolfwood: *glares at Vash before jumping down the cardboard chimney*
Vash: *waits for Wolfwood to come down before continuing with his lines*
Rachia: ... Wolfie?
Wolfwood: *from inside the chimney* I'm stuck.
Knives & Gung-Ho Guns: *laugh*
Rachia: 'the HELL?! How did a scrawny bastard [1] like you get stuck!?
Wolfwood: Shut up and get me out!
Rachia: Uh... hmm... how to get you out...
Wolfwood: ITS CARDBOARD! JUST CUT IT!
Rachia: Okay! *grabs Rai-dei's sword and runs up and slashes the chimney*
Wolfwood: *the part of the chimney he's stuck in falls over, crushing part of the set. He rolls out* Itai.
Vash: ^_^. He was dressed all in red from his head to his foot, and his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot...
Wolfwood: *stands there looking pissed and not a bit sooty*
Vash: A bundle of toys he had flung on his back, and he looked like a peddler just opening his sack.
Midvalley: *drops the bag'o'toys down from the 'roof', hitting Wolfwood in the head* You forgot something, "Saint Nicky-kun"!
Wolfwood: *mutters*
Vash: His eyes, how they twinkled! His dimples, how merry! His cheeks were like roses! His nose like a cherry!
Wolfwood: Blah blah blah... *checks his script* Tongari, jest skip this page. Its useless describing how I DON'T look.
Vash: *glances between Wolfwood, Rachia, and his script* Uh...
Rachia: Read it.
Vash: Okay...
Wolfwood: -_-
Vash: His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow, and the beard... *snorts* its more like stubble! On his chin was as white as the snow. The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth...
Wolfwood: SEE!? Santa DOES smoke!
Rachia: -_- Whatever.
Wolfwood: *lights a cigarette* Ahh... sweet nicotine...
Rachia: *rolls eyes*
Vash: Err... The butt of a cigarette he held tight in his teeth, and the smoke, it encircled his head like a wreath. He had a broad face and a round little belly that shook, when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly. *snickers*
Wolfwood: -_- Can it, Tongari.
Vash: He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf... err... priest. And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself. A wink of his eye and a twist of his head soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
Wolfwood: *rolls his eyes, then turns his head and winks at Vash*
Vash: He spoke not a word... *snorts* ...but went straight to his work, and filled all the stockings and turned with a jerk.
Wolfwood: *throws random things AT the stockings*
Vash: And laying a finger aside of his nose, and giving a nod, up the chimney he rose.
Wolfwood: *sets his middle finger on the side of his nose after directing it towards Rachia, then nods, and clips himself to a set of wires that lift him up*
Vash: He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle
Wolfwood: *sits in his 'sleigh' and whistles to Knives and the Gung-Ho Reindeer*
Vash: And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
Gung-Ho Guns & Knives: *haul the 'sleigh' off the 'roof'*
Vash: But I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight:
Wolfwood: Merry Christmas To All, and to all, a good RIDDANCE!
*curtain falls*
Rachia: CURTAIN CALL!
*loud crashes and swearing are heard from behind the curtain*
Rachia: -_- *shakes the now-empty bottle of aspirin[2]*
*curtain rises to reveal a demolished set and the cast standing in a line. They take a bow*
Audience who has been there, unnoticed, the whole time: *applauds, then gets up and leaves*
*dressing room doors re-appear and the cast enter the correct rooms*
Vash: *stops Meryl before she goes in* Meryl-chan?
Meryl: What?
Vash: You should keep that nightgown! ^_^.
Meryl: *twitch* *WHACK*
Vash: *another slap mark*
Meryl: *walks into the girls' dressing room*
Vash: *rubs his cheek and goes into the guys' dressing room*
Rachia: Thank GODS, its over.
*10 minutes later*
*Everyone is standing around in their usual clothing, except that Knives can't seem to get his antlers off*
Knives: *yells at Rachia* SPIDER! GET 'EM OFF ME OR I'LL HAVE ONE OF MY MINIONS KILL YOU IN AN UNPLEASANT WAY!
Rachia: *rolls eyes, then sighs* FINE. *snaps fingers and the antlers disappear*
Legato: *walks up to Rachia* You promised to take me to an all-you-can-eat!
Rachia: Yeah, okay, let's go.
Vash: WAIT! You promised me a donut!
Rachia: *rolls eyes* Ya know what? Since I don't have a donut with me right now, why don't you just come with Legato and me to the buffet.
Vash: ^_^. Okay!
Legato: *stares at Vash, then licks his left hand*
Vash: *twitches*
Rachia: *snaps her fingers and everyone but Vash, Legato, and herself disappear* Let's go boys... *walks out a door followed by Vash and Legato*
~owari~
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
[1] The scrawny bastard thing is a reference to a random statement of mine made during a Wolfwood centered AMV. I was singing along until one shot of him where I just stopped and said "DAMN he's a scrawny bastard!" Then the person I was watching the video with and I burst out laughing.
[2] Yes, over the course of this fic, I DID take a full bottle of aspirin. DON'T try this at home, kiddies. Thanks to fanfic magic, I won't be getting my stomach pumped for this.
A/N: Didja enjoy it? Well, even if you didn't, review anyway, 'cause good reviews are yummy and flames heat my room.
^_^ \\// Love 'N' Peace 'N' Donuts 'N' Candy Canes
~RaChIa ThE sTaMpEdE~ $$64 Billion Woman! HuMaNoId ToRnAdO!
Disclaimer: Still own nothing, 'cept my pencil & Notebook. I don't even own the computer I'm using to type on.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Vash: *clears throat* 'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, Not a creature was stirring, Not even a mouse. *blinks* If no one is stirring, then how am I up walking around and telling the story?
Rachia: -_-; Does it matter? Just read!
Vash: Fine. The stockings were hung by the chimney with ca-- O.o. Wait... we have a chimney?
Rachia: *mutters something about reasons why she shouldn't maim certain spiky-haired gunmen narrators and points at a cardboard fireplace and chimney* Yes Vash, we have a fire place. Now read your damn script.
Vash: All right, all right! The stockings were hung by the chi-- Rachia?
R: What?
Vash: Can I have a donut?
Rachia: *falls over anime style* Sure Vash *gets back up, dusts herself off, and sits in her chair again* Whatever. After we get through with this though.
Vash: ^_^. YAY! The stockings were hung by the chimney with care, in hopes that Saint Nicky-kun soon would be there!
Wolfwood: *offstage* WHO THE HELL WROTE THIS!?
Rachia: *whistles innocently*
Vash: *blinks* ooookay... The children were nestled all snug in their beds... *looks at Milly and Legato, who are pretending to be sleeping* Aww... Kawaii, ne?
Rachia: *downs some aspirin* Sure. Great. Whatever. Just read.
Vash: Sheesh! The children were nestled all snug in their beds, While visions of su-- *blinks* while visions of DONUTS danced in their heads! ^_^.
Rachia: Nani!? Vash! The line is SUGARPLUMS! Not DONUTS!
Vash: Well, I don't even know what those are!
Rachia: SO?!?
Milly: *opens her eyes* I don't know what they are either, but I prefer pudding! ^_^ *closes her eyes again*
Legato: *opens eyes, or at least the one eye we can see* If were taking liberties with the lines, then I prefer hot dogs. *closes eyes... erm... eye...*
Rachia: -_-; *downs a few more aspirin* Whatever.
Vash: Okay... so... While visions of pudding and hot dogs danced in their heads. *walks across the stage to the side where a large canopy bed is facing a window. Meryl is lying in the bed in her skimpy nightgown* *sits on the side of the bed* O.O. *sees Meryl's nightgown* ^_^.
Meryl: Vash... Don't. Say. A. WORD. Just read your lines so the insa-- err... so the WONDERFUL authoress will let us go home.
Vash: ^_^. Meryl-chaaaaaaaaan...
Meryl: *fire eyes* READ!
Vash: EEP!
Rachia: *repeatedly slams herself in the head with a notebook* Read *slam* your *slam* lines *slam*
Vash: And Meryl-chan in her *Hentai grin* NIGHTGOWN *Meryl glares* and I in my cap... Rachia. I don't have a cap.
Rachia: Does it matter?! JUST READ!
Vash: FINE. Had just settled down for a long winters nap. *low voice* though if I get my way, there wouldn't be a whole lot of napping going on... *Hentai grin*
Meryl: *twitch* *stress mark* *twitch* *WHACK*
Vash: T_T. *slap mark* Owwie.
Rachia: *more aspirin*
Vash: When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter... Rachia... what's "A Rose Suchak Ladder"?
(A/N: Me no own "The Santa Clause" either)
Rachia: It's "arose such a clatter". It means, "There came a big noise." Now read.
Vash: Okay... I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter *jumps up & hits his head on the bar of the canopy part of the bed* @_@. Itai. *falls backwards and lands his head quite conveniently on Meryl's lap*
Meryl: *blush *
Vash: *Hentai grin*
Meryl: *twitch* *WHACK*
Vash: *ANOTHER slap mark*
Rachia: *even more aspirin* Vash, stop being a pervert and read.
Vash: Aww... FINE... *springs out of bed successfully this time* Away to the window I flew like a flash *runs to the window* Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash... *blinks* but I don't LIKE throwing up!
Rachia: -_- It means tossed up in the air. NOT vomit.
Vash: Oh. Okay then. *rips open the curtains on the window and opens it* The moon... err... MOONS on the breast of the new-fallen snow... we don't HAVE snow. We have sand.
Rachia: Vash.
Vash: Yes?
Rachia: SHUT UP AND READ!
Vash: Meep. The moons on the breast of the new-fallen snow gave a luster of midday to objects below. When what to my wondering eyes should appear but a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer! With a little old driver, so lively and quick, I knew in a moment, it MUST be Saint Nick...y-kun.
Wolfwood: *offstage* TONGARI! Ya call me that again and I'll cause you SERIOUS bodily injury!
Vash: Ehehe... *big grin* *sweatdrop* AHEM! More rapid than eagles his coursers they came, and he whistled and shouted and called them by name!
Wolfwood: *is pulled out in a 'sleigh' by the Gung-Ho Guns and Knives, who is still muttering darkly about being a reindeer* ... *fishes in the pockets of his costume for a cigarette, finds one, then lights it* Now...
Rachia: CHOTTO MATTE! *marches up to Wolfwood and takes his cigarette, stomping it out* Santa CANT smoke! It portrays a bad image!
Wolfwood: NANI!?
Rachia: You heard me.
Wolfwood: *mutters* lunatic bitch...
Rachia: What was that?!
Wolfwood: Uh... "lovely authoress"?
Rachia: *mutters* Yeah sure it was, Wolfie. Now READ!
Wolfwood: *in a monotone voice* Now Millions, now Hornfreak. Now Gale and Cyclops. On Longshot, on Beast-brat. On Mine and on Blade-brain.
Rachia: -_- Wolfie....
Wolfwood: What NOW?
Rachia: One, don't take liberties with the script.
Wolfwood: Well I'm not sayin' the line again.
Rachia: Whatever. Two, Read with a bit more enthusiasm, will you?
Wolfwood: -_- ... *forces himself to sound cheery, to the point where he sounds like a deep voiced cheerleader on speed* OKAY! To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall! Now dash away! DASH AWAY! DASH AWAY ALL! *glares at Rachia* *normal voice* Better?
Rachia: Scarily better. *mutters* smart-ass *normal voice* Okay Vash, back to your lines now.
Vash: *snores*
Rachia: Vash?
Meryl: -_- He's sleeping.
Rachia: *sweatdrop* You're kidding me...
Meryl: No. He's sleeping like a baby. A tall, perverted, spiky-headed blonde baby.
Rachia: OI! VASH! WAKE UP!
Vash: *snores louder*
Rachia: Grr... *stomps over to him, leans down by his ear and yells* IF YOU DON'T WAKE YOUR LAZY ASS UP, I'LL MAKE SURE YOU NEVER EAT ANOTHER DONUT AS LONG AS YOU LIVE!
Vash: *eyes snap open* O.O.
Rachia: That actually WORKED?
Vash: *whimpers* I'm going to live for a long time, and I doubt I could go that long with out yummy, appetizing, scrumptious, delicious, luscious, delectable, mouth-watering, lip smacking, tasty, sugary ... *babbles on for nearly a half an hour* palatable, flavourful, wonderful, and generally terrific donuts!
Rachia: *has been nodding off*
Vash: ... ... ... Rachia?
Rachia: Hunh?!
Vash: You wouldn't REALLY make your favourite bishounen go without his favourite food, would you? *sparkles*
Rachia: Who said you're my favourite?
Vash: I'm not?! T_T.
Rachia: Well, you ARE... but you shouldn't jump to conclusions. Just read your lines.
Vash: ^_^. Okies! As dry as the leaves that before the wild hurrica-- TYPHOON fly, when they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky *the Gung-Ho Guns & Knives drag the sleigh across the stage and up a ramp to the 'roof' of the house* Up to the housetop the coursers they flew, with a sleigh full of toys and Saint Nicky-kun too!
Wolfwood: *twitches* TONGARI! I TOLD YA NOT TO CALL ME THAT!
Vash: ^_^.; And then in a twinkling, I heard on the roof, the pranc-- the clomping and stomping of each giant foot!
Rachia: That's NOT what it says, Vash.
Vash: Well, do you really think they have "little hooves"?
Rachia: I see your point... *downs some more aspirin* Continue.
Vash: As I drew in my head... *blinks* I'm still supposed to be out the window?
Rachia: Yep.
Vash: *sticks his head out the window again* As I drew in my head... *pulls his head in and slams the back of it against the window* ITAI!
Wolfwood, Meryl, Knives & The Gung-Ho Guns: *all laugh*
Milly: Are you all right, Vash-san?
Rachia: He's fine, Milly. The blonde porcupine over there hit himself in the one spot where it'll do the least damage.
Milly: O.o Huh?
Rachia: Nothing, nevermind. Vash, read!
Vash: @_@. BIIIIIIIIIIRDIIIIIIES!
Rachia: -_- Vash -- *HELLFIRE in her eyes* SNAP OUT OF IT AND READ, DAMNIT!!!!! *goes back to "normal"* Okay?
Vash: O.O. h-hai... As I drew in my head and was turning around, down the chimney Saint Nicky-kun came with a bound.
Wolfwood: *glares at Vash before jumping down the cardboard chimney*
Vash: *waits for Wolfwood to come down before continuing with his lines*
Rachia: ... Wolfie?
Wolfwood: *from inside the chimney* I'm stuck.
Knives & Gung-Ho Guns: *laugh*
Rachia: 'the HELL?! How did a scrawny bastard [1] like you get stuck!?
Wolfwood: Shut up and get me out!
Rachia: Uh... hmm... how to get you out...
Wolfwood: ITS CARDBOARD! JUST CUT IT!
Rachia: Okay! *grabs Rai-dei's sword and runs up and slashes the chimney*
Wolfwood: *the part of the chimney he's stuck in falls over, crushing part of the set. He rolls out* Itai.
Vash: ^_^. He was dressed all in red from his head to his foot, and his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot...
Wolfwood: *stands there looking pissed and not a bit sooty*
Vash: A bundle of toys he had flung on his back, and he looked like a peddler just opening his sack.
Midvalley: *drops the bag'o'toys down from the 'roof', hitting Wolfwood in the head* You forgot something, "Saint Nicky-kun"!
Wolfwood: *mutters*
Vash: His eyes, how they twinkled! His dimples, how merry! His cheeks were like roses! His nose like a cherry!
Wolfwood: Blah blah blah... *checks his script* Tongari, jest skip this page. Its useless describing how I DON'T look.
Vash: *glances between Wolfwood, Rachia, and his script* Uh...
Rachia: Read it.
Vash: Okay...
Wolfwood: -_-
Vash: His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow, and the beard... *snorts* its more like stubble! On his chin was as white as the snow. The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth...
Wolfwood: SEE!? Santa DOES smoke!
Rachia: -_- Whatever.
Wolfwood: *lights a cigarette* Ahh... sweet nicotine...
Rachia: *rolls eyes*
Vash: Err... The butt of a cigarette he held tight in his teeth, and the smoke, it encircled his head like a wreath. He had a broad face and a round little belly that shook, when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly. *snickers*
Wolfwood: -_- Can it, Tongari.
Vash: He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf... err... priest. And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself. A wink of his eye and a twist of his head soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
Wolfwood: *rolls his eyes, then turns his head and winks at Vash*
Vash: He spoke not a word... *snorts* ...but went straight to his work, and filled all the stockings and turned with a jerk.
Wolfwood: *throws random things AT the stockings*
Vash: And laying a finger aside of his nose, and giving a nod, up the chimney he rose.
Wolfwood: *sets his middle finger on the side of his nose after directing it towards Rachia, then nods, and clips himself to a set of wires that lift him up*
Vash: He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle
Wolfwood: *sits in his 'sleigh' and whistles to Knives and the Gung-Ho Reindeer*
Vash: And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
Gung-Ho Guns & Knives: *haul the 'sleigh' off the 'roof'*
Vash: But I heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight:
Wolfwood: Merry Christmas To All, and to all, a good RIDDANCE!
*curtain falls*
Rachia: CURTAIN CALL!
*loud crashes and swearing are heard from behind the curtain*
Rachia: -_- *shakes the now-empty bottle of aspirin[2]*
*curtain rises to reveal a demolished set and the cast standing in a line. They take a bow*
Audience who has been there, unnoticed, the whole time: *applauds, then gets up and leaves*
*dressing room doors re-appear and the cast enter the correct rooms*
Vash: *stops Meryl before she goes in* Meryl-chan?
Meryl: What?
Vash: You should keep that nightgown! ^_^.
Meryl: *twitch* *WHACK*
Vash: *another slap mark*
Meryl: *walks into the girls' dressing room*
Vash: *rubs his cheek and goes into the guys' dressing room*
Rachia: Thank GODS, its over.
*10 minutes later*
*Everyone is standing around in their usual clothing, except that Knives can't seem to get his antlers off*
Knives: *yells at Rachia* SPIDER! GET 'EM OFF ME OR I'LL HAVE ONE OF MY MINIONS KILL YOU IN AN UNPLEASANT WAY!
Rachia: *rolls eyes, then sighs* FINE. *snaps fingers and the antlers disappear*
Legato: *walks up to Rachia* You promised to take me to an all-you-can-eat!
Rachia: Yeah, okay, let's go.
Vash: WAIT! You promised me a donut!
Rachia: *rolls eyes* Ya know what? Since I don't have a donut with me right now, why don't you just come with Legato and me to the buffet.
Vash: ^_^. Okay!
Legato: *stares at Vash, then licks his left hand*
Vash: *twitches*
Rachia: *snaps her fingers and everyone but Vash, Legato, and herself disappear* Let's go boys... *walks out a door followed by Vash and Legato*
~owari~
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
[1] The scrawny bastard thing is a reference to a random statement of mine made during a Wolfwood centered AMV. I was singing along until one shot of him where I just stopped and said "DAMN he's a scrawny bastard!" Then the person I was watching the video with and I burst out laughing.
[2] Yes, over the course of this fic, I DID take a full bottle of aspirin. DON'T try this at home, kiddies. Thanks to fanfic magic, I won't be getting my stomach pumped for this.
A/N: Didja enjoy it? Well, even if you didn't, review anyway, 'cause good reviews are yummy and flames heat my room.
^_^ \\// Love 'N' Peace 'N' Donuts 'N' Candy Canes
~RaChIa ThE sTaMpEdE~ $$64 Billion Woman! HuMaNoId ToRnAdO!