I Hope You Dance
Standard Disclaimer: Lyrics not mine, characters not mine…blah, blah, blah
Warnings: Shonen-ai, songfic, Nagi/Omi, mild cursing, spoiler for what happens to Schwartz in the last episode.
A/N: Happy Birthday, 'Lana. This should have been posted on November 16, but hey what are you going to do? This is a birthday gift for my dear friend Alana, now to get to work on the Xmas one….
Lyrics
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The day that never ended… The soft thump of footsteps on the stairs. The whole day had been a disaster, not just for him, but as Dickinson had eluded through the eyes of his protagonist David Copperfield, we are the heroes and victims of our dramas…complete with spotlight.
Tsukiyono Omi, assassin, student, florist, so many descriptions for a boy barely seventeen. So much blood on the hands of a boy so barely seventeen. Now the blood of another stained him… that of his lover.
Rule one of being an assassin; do not fall in love with a member of the rival assassin team with super powers. You be forced to witness your lover dying unable to save him. Oh, Nagi… how could you leave me? You told me that you loved me, I thought I could trust you… but your like the rest of them. You died on me! How could you… you bastard….
Safe in the sanctity of his bedroom, the venerable youth succumbed to the flood of tears. As the waters that had taken his telekinetic from him the tears took the pain from within until he drowned in it as well.
"Nagi… oh Nagi…" Dampened the pillow still muffled his sobs, absorbing the pain as only the truest confidant can…. an inanimate object.
Tears and cries sounded as the dusken darkness deepened, still the blond showed no sign of solace or removal from his torment. Yet in the suffocating depth of nights hold he roused himself enough to stumble around groping for the bathroom door, hoping for a shower to soothe the knot of muscles. In the process of trying he tripped over the chair in front of his desk sending papers flying and rousing his laptop from its slumber.
"Damn it! Ow ow ow…" While massaging his injured knee his eyes were attracted to the glow of the screen, though in that instant his pain was forgotten as he saw what was printed there.
Someone had been on Word, and not him in their hectic rush assignments had been left undone. Indeed he hadn't touched his personal computer in weeks. Someone had gotten into his room and left him a message. Chilling and cold as that was, after glancing at the first line all their was left was sadness.
My dearest love,
You're reading this now because I, at least, knew what would come. Tonight only one of us would walk away from the fight… And it wasn't going to be Schwartz. For all of our power we have no conviction, really, like Weiss.
I know this will hurt you, that you'll be angry with me for my departure and then angry out yourself. But that's not what I want…
I hope you never lose your sense of wonder I want to know that you will smile again, that you will love again, live again. You get your fill to eat But always keep that hunger You'll wish pains on yourself in my name that I'd never want. You are so important to me; you gave me a shining moment in my life to look back on. However it ends, however I leave, I want you to know that I will think of the times you gave me with fondness. And that my last wish will be that you add more memories to look back on… without me. May you never take one single breath for granted Omi, I don't want you to keep me on a pedestal to measure all others wanting. All that I want is for you to remember me in a good light. We were both Omi, but I lived in the day before my death and you have always lived in life. Don't hold yourself to a lover married to the grave anymore… I want you to move on, to find someone to fill up the nights now that I am gone. Even if it is not forever, never stop looking for someone to give you the happiness you gave me. God forbid love ever leave you empty handed There is not enough time in all a mortal life to tell you everything you have done… for me to tell you all I love about you. All that I ca do here is say, none of what will happen will be your fault. Don't let this change you, for all of your pain you've gone on with more strength that I thought existed in this world. My only regret tonight is that this may the tragedy, the one you can't pick yourself up from… I don't want that Omi… Don't put that on my soul with all its evil that would be the worse one I have to take. I hope you still feel small When you stand by the ocean So please, I beg you, always search for the happiness you gave me. You convinced me that what comes around goes around, and that nothing ever, truly leaves this world, so I know that what you gave me I will leave behind for you to discover with someone else. Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens Promise me you'll give fate a fighting chance But my greatest wish is you'll remember me… And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance I hope you dance I hope you dance You know Omi, as the time draws closer for me to leave I find I fear it less. Even though you're not here, this room that is so like you… Oh I know you say that it doesn't that it's just a room, but that itself is like you. This is beside the point, though. What I meant to say is being here I feel as though you're with me, and that dissipates my fear. And… I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance Never settle for the path of least resistance Living might mean taking chances But they're worth taking Lovin' might be a mistake But it's worth making I can feel your love around me. I know I could never tell you in person, something that now seems juvenile, but I can say it now in case you had any doubts… I love you. Going to leave you hurts me more than I can express but I am happy too finally tell you I love you. Though I know in your mind it is a cruel irony that I tell you I love you when I ask you to move on and love again. I just want to leave you in a world where you can be happy… Please… Don't let some hell bent heart Leave you bitter When you come close to selling out Reconsider Give the heavens above More than just a passing glance Give me at least that, as my dying wish, please promise me that I don't take the one I love with me into death, And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance I hope you dance (Time is a wheel in constant motion always) I hope you dance (Rolling us along) I hope you dance (Tell me who) I hope you dance (Wants to look back on their years and wonder) (Where those years have gone) We only live once; you are young, vibrant and alive. You gave me some of that, so I can honestly say I lived before I died. If I had never met you I could never have said that. So thank you, my love. I hope you still feel small When you stand by the ocean Whenever one door closes, I hope one more opens Promise me you'll give faith a fighting chance We, you and I, never had a chance. We each owed our respective teams our allegiance first. However flawed they be, Schwartz is my home and family. I know you could never see that, and I am not going to justify them to you now. Your forgiveness is not what I'm asking… what I am asking is that you continue to bring life to your family, you White Knights. And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance Dance I hope you dance I hope you dance (Time is a wheel in constant motion always) I hope you dance (Rolling us along) I hope you dance (Tell me who) (Wants to look back on their years and wonder) I hope you dance (Where those years have gone) Good bye Omi. (Tell me who) I hope you dance (Wants to look back on their years and wonder) (Where those years have gone)
tear tear 'tis done-----------------
Horribly overdo but here none the less. I love you 'Lana-chan!s
