Late Nights with Buffy and Spike

by TigerTL

This is what happens when two alter-egos take control of MSN accounts and talk...and talk, and talk, and talk.... (Buffy/Spike) NEW last chapter, with new addy.

2. The First Night

Buffy: *sit's down and starts to paint her nails with bright blue polish*

Spike: Well, hello again, luv.

Spike: I'm back.

Buffy: This I can see.

Spike: Sorry I took so long. I had to climb a fence.

Buffy: I won't ask.

Spike: *shrugs* Garbage bag got stuck on top of it. Nothin' bad.

Buffy: What was the thing doing up there to begin with?

Buffy: Nevermind. DOn't tell me.

Buffy: *holds up the finished hand* what do you think?

Buffy: I don't look like I'm dying of hypothermia, do I?

Spike: *cocks head* No. Looks nice on you.

Buffy: *grins* Thanks!

Spike: Now, if you used blue LIPSTICK, then you'd look like you needed help.

Buffy: Very funny

Spike: Thank you. *chuckles* And yes, I know that was sarcasm.

Buffy: So...why is Justice cackling over here? She sounds like the wicked witch of the north.

Spike: *shrugs* I don't know... I thought the wicked ones were east and west.

Buffy: Whatever'

Buffy: *glares* You know what I meant

Spike: Of course I do. I was around when that movie came out.

Spike: I don't know, though...

Buffy: You sure? TL keeps telling her to shut up and looking at me. Makes a girl nervous

Spike: *blinks* Oh... It might have something to do with something I said earlier... Maybe.

Spike: Or something Justice told me... I don't know.

Buffy: *narrows eyes* Were you saying stuff about me?

Spike: Nothin' bad.

Buffy: What. Did. You. Say?

Spike: *sighs* Justice told me that she was gettin' the impression that *I* was your best friend. I told her that I doubted that. And TL and I were discussin' my hobbies.

Buffy: *blushes and looks down* Justice said that? I may have to hurt her.

Spike: Yeah. I told her how unlikely and pretty much impossible that was. Since you only recently started not disliking me.

Buffy: Right. Recently. because, it was recently. So, unlikely. Absoulutly. That was a good thing for you to say. *starts on her other hand and doesn't look up*

Spike: *cocks head, small smile, sits on the couch*

Spike: So. How's your day been, luv?

Buffy: Boring

Buffy: Sat at a desk doing nothing, then came back here. Now I'm painting my nails. Oh yeah. *rolls eyes* The stuff dreams are made of.

Spike: Normalcy, you mean? I would think you'd relish in that.

Buffy: Why? BEcuase I am so normal?

Buffy: I gave up on that after the second time I died.

Buffy: Normal people aren't resurected

Spike: No. Because everything in your life and mine is so crazy, that a little bit of normalcy should be treasured.

Buffy: This is too much.

Buffy: I need something normal to *happen* to relish the normalcy. Otherwise it's too normal.

Spike: That's one of the reasons that I like bein' around Tiger. As strange as she is, she's more normal than my usual life.

Buffy: Was that a sentence?

Spike: I think it was two.

Buffy: I just meant that first one, Mr Smarty pants

Spike: *small chuckle* I know. But yeah. It does make sense.

Buffy: 'Kay

Spike: This morning, I woke up from my daymare, and Tiger's mum was makin' christmas cookies. That's an example of one of the normal things I love about bein' here.

Spike: Or there... *shakes head* Place changes are confusin'.

Buffy: Really? *wistful look* Cookies? See? That's a normal thing that can happen. SItting at a desk is not normal. It's boring.

Buffy: What kind of cookies?

Buffy: Tl

Buffy: TL's jewish. So, no christmas here.

Spike: Butter flavored, chocolate chip, and sugar that's all shaped like reindeer.

Buffy: No tree, no nothin'. *pouts* It's annoying.

Spike: Like spendin' december at Red's parents, eh?

Buffy: Oh! That's so cute!

Spike: Hang on. I bet I can get you one.

Buffy: No. Even Willow gets to go to Xander's.

Spike: *leaves, comes back a minute late with a reindeer cookie* I put the nose on.

Buffy: OH! *pounces on the cookie and takes a big bite right out of the nose, then grins* Good, because the nose is the best part.

Spike: *laughs*

Spike: I'll be right back, luv. I'm needed again.

Buffy: Ok

Spike: *comes back, brings glass of milk* Here. Thought that this would go with the cookie.

Buffy: Thanks. *takes a swallow* I keep forgetting to buy it.

Spike: I've noticed. Next time I'm out, I can pick up some things, if you want.

Buffy: That'd be nice. *frowns* But how exactly would you pay for it? You wouldn't steal it, right?

Spike: I have money.

Spike: I haven't stolen anything in over a year.

Buffy: You have money. Where do you get this money?

Spike: *shrugs* I have ways.

Spike: Remember kitten poker?

Buffy: You still play that?

Buffy: And kittens aren't money. OH GOD! You didn't kill the kitens or something for it, did you?

Spike: I have to. Clem needs me.

Spike: *sighs* You really think I'd do that?

Spike: The Humane Society pays for kittens, and then they find them good homes.

Buffy: Well, kitens aren't people, and you're not exactly forthcoming with what you do and don't do, soo...

Spike: I drop off a basket once a week.

Buffy: Oh.

Spike: Why do you think I cheat? If the others won, they'd eat the little blighters.

Buffy: *frowns* Why did you cheat before?

Spike: Same reason.

Buffy: huh?

Spike: I've got a chip, pet. I can't kill any living thing. That includes kittens. What did you think I did with them?

Buffy: Spike. The chip doesn't work anymore. We've established that. *Looks at him warily* And I thought it only worked on humans, hence it not working on me.

Spike: No. It's any living thing. And it does too work. Only when the First was controlin' me was when it didn't work.

Spike: Because the desire to kill wasn't mine.

Buffy: *huffs* Spike, if it was any living thing, you wouldn't have been able to hit me.

Spike: I punched Harris a couple of weeks ago. It went off.

Buffy: It's any human.

Spike: I prefer to just give you the victory here, rather than continue arguing. Arguing with you is an exercise in futility.

Buffy: *grins* Yay me.

Spike: *small sigh*

Buffy: *comes over and lays her head on Spike's lap, looking up at him innocently.* What's the sigh for?

Spike: *small chuckle* Just knowin' that I can never win with you, that's all.

Buffy: *frowns* that's not true. Just when we're arguing.

Spike: Buffy, luv, if I'd ever won with you, you wouldn't be here.

Buffy: Here, with my head in your lap? Would you rather I moved?

Spike: No. *small smile* I like you here.

Buffy: See? You win. *Smiles impishly*

Spike: *chuckles*

Buffy: So, do you have any idea what TL's complaining about? She keeps muttering about matchmaking and glaring at Justice. That song from fiddler on the roof is getting stuck in my head.

Spike: *moans* Oh, that bloody movie. I hate musicals for just that reason. Tiger'll watch The Sound Of Music, and for the next three weeks, Favorite Things will be on a loop in my head.

Buffy: You're avioding the questioin

Buffy: question. Sorry.

Buffy: Which makes me think you *do* know what she's talking about. Spill.

Spike: *small sound* Uh... I kinda might have said that I'd show you something... I don't know if that's what she's thinkin' of or not...

Buffy: Huh? Show me something?

Spike: Something I did... You know, now isn't a good time, and I don't think I should really do this, and I'm rambling now so I'll just shut up.

Spike: *snaps jaws shut*

Buffy: Nope. Not gonna work.

Buffy: *sits up and folds her arms across her chest.* Tell me.

Spike: *shakes head, keeps mouth shut*

Buffy: *pouts* fine. *gets up and sits on the floor against the couch with her back to him and grabs the TV guide*

Spike: *sighs* You really want to know, huh?

Buffy: *turns and kneels facing him* Yes!

Spike: I kinda... Wrote something.

Buffy: *scrunches up her face* You wrote something? This is what you didn't want to tell me? What, like a note to someone?

Spike: *almost inauditably* A poem.

Buffy: *sits back on her heels* Oh. *small voice* a poem?

Spike: *studies his hands in his lap* Yeah... It's kinda... a hobby.

Buffy: How come Buffy/Spike challenge:

This was inspired by a fiction, the name of which escapes me, where Spike takes Buffy's virginity in a zoo sometime during season two. Anyway, so I don't get yelled at.

The Challenge:

Set in early Season Two, Buffy and Angel are on another 'break'. One night, Buffy's patrolling, and yes! She stakes Dru! Ha! Spike shows up at the library the next night and a

Buffy: Sorry

Buffy: TL's writing somehing and I pasted it there

Buffy: what kind of poem?

Spike: Just.. free verse.

Buffy: What's it about?

Spike: Kinda... semi-romantic, I suppose.

Spike: Opposites.

Spike: Sunlight & Shadow.

Spike: That's the title.

Buffy: Oh. you...you wrote a romantic poem?

Buffy: *bites lip* Who's it about?

Spike: *is embarrassed, looks down*

Spike: It's probably not any good. Nothing I ever write is.

Buffy: It is? *smiles* That's so sweet

Buffy: You wrote a poem for me?

Buffy: No one's ever done that before.

Spike: *small snort* No one but me. I've been doin' it for years.

Buffy: Hey! *glares at him* and no one told me becuase?

Buffy: Buffy doesn't need something sweet and romantic in her life? No, of course not.

Spike: Cause no one knows. And I didn't think that you'd be interested in William the Bloody Awful Poet bein' around.

Buffy: She's got *plenty* of that. Just look at her nightly patrols!

Spike: *almost... shyly* Do you... want to see it?

Buffy: Is it here? Can you...can you read it to me?

Spike: *digs in his pocket* Here... somewhere. I'm warnin' you though, they didn't call me William The Bloody Awful Poet for nothing. *holds up a sheet of paper with lines of flowing script on it* Here it is.

Buffy: They called you that over a hundred years ago. *rolls eyes* I think the standards have change somewhat

Buffy: Not to mention that you're older.

Spike: I'll tell you when I get to the end.

Buffy: Ok.

Spike: Sunlight & Shadow



Could not be more different

On the outside.

Always circling, never touching,

Around and around.

But things are the same,

On the inside.



Spike: What they want, what they need,

All the same.

Enemies? Allies?

On the outside.

Never clear.

Allies. Lovers. Helpers.

On the inside.

When the wind blows, does it matter?

It's all the same.



Spike: An eternal dance, they go together,

On the outside.

Always near, and yet so far,

Until the time comes when,

On the inside,

They finally are one.

The same.

Sunlight.

Shadow.

The dance is eternal.



Spike: The meaning so profound.

Only time will tell now,

For they will never stop their dance.

On the outside.

On the inside.

Finally a compromise.



Spike: Their lives intertwine as always.

Eternal dance never ceasing.

Changing forms along the way.

A melody sweet as honey,

Now they both can hear.

The time has come at last.

The dancers finally rest.

Sunlight.

Shadow.

On the inside,

On the outside,

Always,

Only,

Both the same.



Spike: *clears his throat, stuffs the paper back in his pocket* That's it.

Buffy: *Bites her lip and moves back onto the couch, slipping into his lap and leaning her head on Spike's shoulder.* It was beautiful.

Spike: *suprised* Really?

Spike: You.. you liked it?

Buffy: Yeah *smiles and looks up* It was nice. And it..what's that word? It flowed.

Spike: *blinks rapidly* Wow... thanks. No one's ever... complimented one of my poems before.

Buffy: *snuggles into his chest a little more* Have you....um...have you written others?

Buffy: *looks down at her hands*

Spike: Two... Recently.

Spike: But, I warn you, one of them makes a vain attempt to rhyme.

Buffy: *clears throat lightly* Read them to me?

Spike: *small smile* I don't have to. I have these two memorized.

Spike: *takes deep breath, eyes close*

Spike: She is...

My life,

My love,

My passion,

My pain,

My sadness,

My joy,

My past,

My future,

My soul,

My enemy,

My friend,

My heart,

My only,

My Slayer,

My Buffy,

Always,

Forever,

Of love.

Spike: *opens eyes* That's the short one.

Buffy: oh. *turns head into his chest and closes her eyes* What about the other one?

Spike: The other one I wrote right after you were... when you came back.

Buffy: Oh. Well, if you don't want to... I mean, if it's not...you don't have to read it to me if you don't wanna.

Spike: No. I'm gonna recite it... But it's the one I'm warning you about. The.. attempt at rhyming. I'm tryin' to remember it.

Buffy: "kay

Spike: Okay. Here goes. *deep breath*

Spike: Someday

My love has followed me back home,

To my lonely room and bed,

For many a long year I've roamed,

Longing that my heart be fed.



Spike: When I saw you standing there,

I was lost within your mind,

I knew that never had I seen,

Nor could I hope to find,

A love more wonderful than yours,

Though I know that you aren't mine.

Spike: And through those lonely days and months,

I could hardly even bear,

I would have killed myself,

Cept for the Lil' Bit who cared,



Spike: We comforted each other,

Stopping each other's tears,

Always hoping to turn around,

And see you standing there.



Spike: Now you're finally home to stay,

You'll never leave again, I pray,

Still I wait and hope you'll say,

"I love you, Spike",

Someday, someday.



Spike: *small sigh* That's the last one.

Buffy: The last verse worked really well.

Spike: *soft chuckle* Thanks.

Buffy: *pulls his hand into her lap and starts playing with his fingers* Why didn't you read those to me before?

Spike: Cause you always left. Or didn't want to talk to me. Or seemed mad about something, and I didn't want to bother you.

Spike: Moreover, though... Cause I was scared you'd laugh at me.

Buffy: I mean before.

Buffy: Before we were...before that.

Spike: That's the 'seemed mad about something'. And the my bein' scared.

Buffy: Oh

Spike: All my life, everyone I've tried to show my poetry to, has laughed at me... I knew I couldn't take that from you.

Buffy: Well, I *was* mad. You get ripped out of eternal peace and let's see how you feel.

Buffy: I might not have laughed...

Buffy: Ok, at first, but that was before. When I came back...I don't think I'd have laughed.

Spike: Well, you would've looked at me with that same 'slightly disgusted' look that you gave me every time I said that I loved you, then. Another thing that got me on the verge of... nevermind.

Buffy: *nods when he stops* Thank you

Buffy: So..do you have, like, a book of them or something?

Buffy: And, coming back to the original question, why did you promise Justice, or TL, that you'd read one to me?

Spike: *shrugs* I don't know. Having a burst of self confidence, I guess.

Spike: It kind of left, though.

Buffy: How did it even come up? *blushes* You know what I mean

Spike: We were talkin' about you... and.. I mentioned that I write poems about you. *sighs*

Buffy: You just happened to mention this?

Buffy: Why were you talking about me?

Spike: Because TL was asking what we were talkin' about all last night.

Spike: And I just... well, when I get to talkin' about you, I go on and on.

Buffy: *grins* Really? What do you say about me?

Buffy: *looks down and notices she's still in Spike's lap. Moves over a bit to sit next to him, blushing*

Spike: *smiles* How amazing you are. Takin' on a job, raisin' your little sister, patrollin'. How your face lights up when you smile, and when I hear you laugh, something just... twists inside of me... It's a pleasant feeling.

Buffy: Do you know you just kinda wrote a poem just now? *grins a bit*

Spike: *ducks head*

Spike: See what happens?

Buffy: it was adorable

Spike: *playfully indignant look* I am not adorable. Adorable is for puppys.

Buffy: TL said you called yourself my puppy when she asked about the massage I got last night, so that should fit.

Spike: *small sigh* Well. I guess there really aren't and secrets with alters and originals.

Spike: *any

Spike: She was jealous, you know.

Buffy: Jealous? Of what?

Spike: That you got a massage. *chuckles*

Spike: I shoulda probably told her to get her own vampire.

Buffy: She has one. Kinda

Buffy: Well, she has a guy. They met in the marines. They're all solder-y together. It's not like he's a weakling.

Buffy: But he's out of town right now, I think.

Spike: Ah.

Spike: Can't say I like military.. But I'll make an exception.

Buffy: Of all the people I could choose to share a body with, I chose the girl who wangled her way in at seventeen.

Buffy: I didn't know it 'till I was all comfy here, though.

Spike: *laughs* Don't you hate it when the originals spring something you weren't expectin' on you?

Buffy: Yes!

Buffy: Like the whole 'goes off and gets shot at sometimes for fun' thing. Some warning would have been nice.

Buffy: It's not like my life isn't violent enough. Finding out she likes to work with the ...whoever it is they are!

Buffy: Weird uniforms. And she won't tell me where we were.

Spike: As long as it's not the Initiative, I'm okay.

Buffy: Nah

Buffy: I think it was the Isrealies. She was born there. I didn't know that ahead of time either.

Spike: *cocks head* Huh. That's interesting. Not like we can pick where we go, eh?

Spike: Here, I get conned into taking out trash, walking the dog, and chasing a cat that went up the tree.

Buffy: Really? You chased the cat?

Buffy: *giggles* I'd so pay to see that.

Spike: *rolls eyes, sighs* I left the door open, the cat got out, so I had to go get it. The bloody thing went up the tree, so I went up after it. Scratched me up pretty good, and had a close call with a sharp stick, before I got it down.

Buffy: Sharp stick? Where? *frowns at his chest and looks for scratches*

Spike: *smiles* Your concern is touching, luv. Really. Naw. The cat scratched me, I slipped, and caught myself about three branches down. If I'd kept going... I would've wound up.. well, it wouldnt' have killed me.

Spike: *sighs* I would've wound up straddling a large, jagged stick.

Buffy: Oh.

Spike: Yeah.

Spike: So, it wouldn't have killed me. But it wouldn't have been... good, either.

Buffy: *ahem* Well...that was a mental picture I didn't need.

Spike: Like *I* needed it? I was holding myself above that stick, panting hard, and all I could think of, believe it or not, was "Oh. That would hurt."

Spike: Kind of... detached. You know?

Buffy: I know. Like when I killed that demon last night and saw what happened with the toe-horn. One more inch forward...that might have stung.

Spike: *chuckles* Exactly.

Spike: *leans his head back against the couch pillows* Never noticed how comfortable this couch is.

Buffy: It is. *nods* Big and comfy.

Buffy: Better than a bed sometimes when you're too tired to climb the stairs.

Spike: *yawns, shows fangs for a moment* Oops.

Buffy: *giggles* Tired, Spike?

Spike: *chuckles softly* A little. More comfortable, though. Happy, feelin'. It's... nice.

Buffy: Good. *stares for a minute, not talking*

Spike: *glances over at her* Are you okay? Thinkin' big thoughts?

Buffy: Nope *

Spike: What's goin' on, then?

Spike: You seem... preoccupied.

Buffy: *flops back onto the couch and shakes her head, sighing* I'm not.

Buffy: I'm gonna get something to drink. I'll be right back.

Spike: *nods* Okay.

Buffy: *Flops back onto the couch and looks around for Spike.* Great *sighs*

Spike: *comes back, grinning, settles back on the couch near Buffy* Hey, pet.

Buffy: Where'd ya go?

Spike: *is still grinning* I unloaded and loaded the dishwasher for you.

Spike: Put up the clean dishes, and put the dirty ones in.

Buffy: Really? *smiles* Thanks! *frowns* But I was in there. Getting..*holds up soda* How ...

Spike: *chuckles* It's a secret....

Spike: TL seemed to think that it was funny that you poked me last night. *small snort* I don't see the humor.

Buffy: Didja tell her why?

Buffy: WHy did you tell her to begin with?

Spike: *shrugs* Like I said. When I get to talking about you, things just come out. That was one thing. And yeah, I sorta told her why.

Buffy: *reaches over and lghtly slides a finger down the back of his neck* I still can't believe I didn't know you were ticklish

Spike: *twitches, small snorting sound* Yeah.. well, it's not the kinda thing you go around braggin' about. And quit it.

Buffy: No. *ads another finger and flutters them just at the hairline* WHy? Are you ticklish here?

Spike: *twitches again* Yes... *snicker* Stop it.

Buffy: Really? Right *flicks finger* here? This tickles?

Spike: Yes! You're givin' me chills, Slayer. *small laugh* Now quit it.

Buffy: 'kay *removes fingers and slids them down his chest* So, where else are you ticklish?

Spike: *scratches his neck, sighs* I dont' know if I should even tell you. You're probably gonna attack me.

Buffy: *innocent smile* Who, me?

Spike: *sighs again, mutters* Everywhere.

Buffy: Really? So, right here, is ticklish? *tickles his stomach, grinning*

Spike: *squirms, giggling sound* YeSS! Dont' do THAT!!

Buffy: Or, here? *moves her hand to his side and starts tickling the other side too

Buffy: *

Spike: Aaahh! SLAYER!! *laughs hard* Don't!!

Buffy: 'kay. *moves both hands back to his stomach and stradles him for leverage.* Here better?

Spike: *small, almost squeal* BuffYYYY!! *tries to grab her hands* StoppP!

Buffy: No, this is *way* too much fun. *starts moving her hands in circles, giggling the whole time*

Spike: *squirms and laughs helplessly* Aaahhhahahahaha! Nooooo!

Buffy: *goes after his stomach again with one hand, the other on his left side* You know, it just occured to me that you could throw me off if you really wanted to...

Spike: I dooon't waaant ttooo hurrrrt youuu!! *laughs hard* STTOOOPPP!!

Buffy: *sighs* Fine. *stops, but doesn't get up* Happy now?

Spike: *pants* Bloody... hell...

Buffy: Oh, don't even. We both know you don't really breathe.

Spike: I'm... breathing... now...

Spike: *deep breath* Don't do that again.... please... I can't take it.

Buffy: *pouts* But it was fun. *grins* and you were laughing.

Spike: *raised eyebrow* Like I had a choice? It's a helpless reaction.

Spike: Fun for you.

Buffy: But I like it when you laugh. And you were laughing. *bounces a bit on her knees*

Buffy: Besides, according to that story Tiger send me, you *like* being tickled. Make up your mind.

Buffy: Or is she just wrong?

Spike: *chuckles softly* No. She's right.

Spike: I just... *sighs* I fight it.

Buffy: *smiles triumphanty* See?

Spike: Yeah yeah. Don't gloat.

Buffy: It's my job. I'm the Slayer. Gloating is one of the few perks.

Spike: Yeah, but you usually *stake* vampires. Not tickle them.

Buffy: *shrugs* This was more fun.

Spike: *small snort* Glad I could amuse you.

Spike: You know, in that position, you almost look taller than me.

Buffy: Hmm? *looks down and realizes where she's sitting* Oh. Uhm.. *blushes*

Spike: *small smile* I don't mind, luv. Just don't bounce. You might rupture something I need.

Buffy: Oh. *starts to move* Don't wanna do that. *nervous laugh*

Spike: *gently adjusts her so that she's sitting as she was earlier* If you're comfortable, no need to move.

Buffy: Your legs'll go numb

Spike: *chuckles* That requires active circulation in the first place. I don't have a pulse.

Buffy: *clears throat* I'm too heavy

Spike: *snorts* Piffle.

Spike: *blinks* Did I just say that?

Spike: I'm turnin' into my uncle... I knew this would happen. *shakes head defeatedly*

Buffy: Why? Who was your uncle? *makes a face* Besides being your uncle, I mean

Spike: *chuckles* He was a published poet, for one thing. My.. sort of role model. But he was always sayin' things like that.

Buffy: There's nothing wrong with the word piffle

Spike: Yeah. Except that I sound like Rupert.

Buffy: Unless you're Xander. That would just be creepy.

Buffy: I never heard Giles say piffle...

Spike: *sighs* Neither have I... But he reminds me of my uncle, so... *shrugs*

Buffy: Okaay...

Buffy: Giles reminds you of your uncle? SO, what, my father figure, your uncle, that makes us first cousins, and we slept together. Great. *makes a face and sighs*

Spike: *laughs* He REMINDS me of my uncle, luv. There's a difference.

Buffy: *frowns* ok.

Buffy: *sighs again* You know, you didn't used to be this oblivious.

Spike: *cocks head* Oblivious to what? Maybe I just want you to say whatever it is.

Buffy: Nevermind. Tell me about your uncle.

Spike: *shrugs* Not much to tell, that I haven't already said, luv. Published poet... My dad didn't like him, though. Did his best to convince me not to follow in his footsteps. Even burned one of my poetry books when I was twelve.

Buffy: *Frowns* That's just...mean.

Spike: Yeah. Taught me to hide my hobbies. A habit I've kept to this day.

Buffy: Really, "Spike", "William the Bloody"? You didn't hide that well...I understand you were in all the papers.

Spike: *chuckles* I said hide my HOBBIES. Do you think that Angelus had any idea that I'd actually only done the railroad spike thing twice?

Buffy: Really? *scrunches up nose* Twice? I thought I saw more records of that then two...

Spike: *nods* You did. But it wasn't real. Rumors, after the first two. I made sure the rumors kept going. That's how I got my name. Through manipulation and lies, rather than actual fact. No one besides me, and now you knows the truth behind that.

Buffy: How come?

Spike: It's embarrassing.

Buffy: *rolls eyes* C'mon. You've got a vampire slayer on your lap. For a vamp, what could be more embarresing?

Buffy: *pokes his ribs a bit* Spill

Spike: *small laugh* Okay, okay. No need to resort to drastic measures. The first time I did it, I was fueled by anger. Rage at this particular human... He'd said, and I quote, "I'd rather have a railroad spike shoved through my brain than listen to anymore of William's bloody awful poetry." So, I gave him what he wanted.

Buffy: *blinks* Ok....

Spike: The second time, I thought... well, I've done it once, what's one more time? When it came down to it, I got it done, but... I very nearly got sick in the process. Never could do it again. But I needed a reputation, worthy of the Order. So I lied.

Buffy: I thought someone told me that Dru was psychic?

Spike: She is. But... it's sketchy, at best. And no one ever really understands what she's talkin' about anyway, so... I got away with it.

Spike: Did you know that she knew that I loved you before I did?

Buffy: *frowns* I think she might have mentioned it...*looks at him pointedly* the night someone chained me up.

Spike: *chagrined look* Wasn't really thinkin' clearly... got kinda panicked.

Buffy: Ya think?

Buffy: But yeah, I remember her babbling about something like that. WHy?

Spike: *shrugs* I don't know. She was always talkin' about you... floatin' around my head, laughing... I never got that... Then one night, I just kind of.. woke up, and realized it.

Buffy: *raises an eyebrow* I was floating around your head?

Buffy: *squints up and it and starts raking her hands through his hair* I don't see me.

Spike: *chuckles* Neither did I.

Spike: *purrs softly, stops suddenly* Sorry.

Buffy: For what? *keeps running her finger through his hair and smiles*

Spike: Purrin'... I don't want to bother you... *purrs again, swallows to stop it*

Buffy: I like it. *grins* My own big cat.

Spike: *small smile, allows himself to purr again* Really?

Buffy: Yeah. Kinda soothing. *shrugs* But don't get upset if I fall asleep *leans her head against his chest and cloeses her eyes*

Spike: *smiles, purrs a little louder* Oh, believe me, I wouldn't get upset at all. You're keeping me warm, you know.

Buffy: Good. You're cooling me off. It was almost 100 in LA today. TL's office was broasting

Spike: Whoa. It was about... sixty something in Houston.

Spike: I got kinda cold.

Buffy: *glances up at him* You can't get cold. You're a vampire

Spike: *cocks head* I'm cold-blooded, yeah, but that doesn't mean I don't have a human nervous system. I can feel cold.

Buffy: Do you believe me yet?

Spike: I feel tempreture differences. Ever wonder why I spend so long in the shower?

Spike: About what?

Buffy: I told you that I believe in you. I just suddenly was wondering...do you believe me yet?

Spike: *small smile* Yeah... I do. I just wish *I* believed in me.

Spike: Every time I wake up... I wonder if I've killed someone and didn't remember...And it scares me.

Buffy: *grins* You didn't. I kinda had Willow do a spell so we know where you are. If you left, we'd know it.

Buffy: *blushes* Just in case.

Spike: Ah.

Spike: Thanks, luv.

Spike: That makes me feel alot better.

Buffy: Sorry. I just didn't want to take the chance

Spike: No. I meant it. It really does make me feel better. A little more... relaxed, I guess.

Buffy: Yeah? *raises an eyebrow* Then why'd you stop purring?

Spike: *small chuckle, starts purring again* Just figuring things out, s'all.

Spike: I'm not good at multitasking.

Buffy: Huh. Wish I could do that.

Spike: What?

Buffy: Purr.

Buffy: Seems like it would be nice to do that.

Spike: *smiles, purrs louder* It's a nice feeling. Even nicer to know that it's you I'm purrin' for.

Buffy: You know what. I'm falling asleep. *smiles lazily* You're putting me to sleep.

Spike: *chuckles softly* There's a reason that my eyes are half closed, luv.

Buffy: It's just as well. TL's gonna make me get offline soon. *rolls her eyes before closing them* She watches 'Charmed"

Spike: *sighs* Oh.

Spike: Too bad. *charming smile* I'm gonna miss you, you know.

Buffy: *raises an eybrow* Am I going somewhere far away I don't know about?

Spike: *chuckles* Luv, I miss you when you go into the other room. Told you, I'm a puppy.

Buffy: *smiles* Well, knowing TL, we'll be back the minute her show is over. So, maybe I'll see you then

Spike: *grins* I hope so. Assumin' Tiger's mum doesn't kick me offline. Something about 'you wouldn't have a five hour phone call, would you?'. *small snort*

Buffy: *sighs* I know the feeling. Thanks to Dawn, last month's bill was frightening

Spike: Was that the strangled scream I heard when you opened the mail?

Spike: We've still got like... twenty minutes, though, right?

Buffy: That was it. Yeah. *sighs* and yes. Another..yeah, about twenty minutes.

Spike: Well then, no need to get all upset early. *tenitively rests his chin atop her head, still purring*

Buffy: Hmm..this is nice. *closes eyes again*

Spike: *sighs happily, purrs louder* Purrs are... an expression of affection, you know. It's not just a reflexive thing.

Buffy: I think I read once that they also can be a bid for attention

Spike: *small chuckle* Possibly. I don't think that's what I'm doing, though.

Buffy: Probably not...since I'm being' pretty big with the attention right now.

Buffy: *snuggles in* Remember yesterday when I said your lap was a good pillow?

Spike: Yeah. *puts one arm around her gently*

Buffy: Chest is even better. *laces her fingers between his.

Buffy: *

Spike: *deep, contented sigh* Glad you're finally noticin' these things, luv... You never seemed to take the time, before.

Spike: I.. I want to say something, but I don't want to scare you off again.

Buffy: We were in a different place before. *giggles* And it's not really a turn on to tell someone they make a good pillow.

Spike: *chuckles*

Spike: No. But it is... comforting, somehow.

Buffy: You make a good pillow is comforting? Really? *smiles* Huh

Spike: It is to me. When it comes from you.

Buffy: Sappy *nuzzles his neck and sighs* you're getting sappy in your old age.

Spike: *chuckles softly* Maybe. But somehow that doesn't bother me. At this particular moment, nothing short of an apocolypse couldl bother me.

Buffy: Don't say stuff like that. *yawns* You'll jinx it.

Spike: *yawns* Don't do that... it's contagious. Even to the dead.

Buffy: *giggles* can't help it. Falling asleep.

Spike: *nuzzles the top of her head* You know, contact like this... it's really important to vampires, luv. You're never gonna get rid of me, now.

Buffy: 'Kay.

Buffy: *yawns again*

Spike: *clenches his teeth, attempting not to yawn*

Buffy: *pokes his side* Don't fight it.

Buffy: I don't wanna be the onlye one yawning.

Spike: *snorts and yawns* Aw. Why'd you do that? I almost had it.

Buffy: What fun is that?

Spike: *one raised eyebrow* I don't like losing.

Buffy: Who said it was a contest? *blinks up at him* I thought we were falling asleep. When did this turn into a 'I can out-yawn you' deal?

Spike: *chuckles* I meant losin' to my reflexes. It's annoyin'. Besides, you're a Slayer, I'm a vampire. With us, everything naturally becomes a contest.

Buffy: Doesn't have to. *yawns again* and if you don't yawn, I'm the only one. And that's no good. If you're gonna yawn, you should do it *with* someone.

Spike: *yawns* Okay, then.

Spike: Besides, you win everything, anyway.

Buffy: Good boy *pats his chest and giggles* I didn't even have to tickle you.

Spike: *rolls eyes and snorts quietly*

Buffy: I heard that

Spike: You really find that amusin', don't you?

Spike: That you can get the best of the Big Bad with a few quick pokes. I find it rather embarrassin'.

Buffy: *giggles* It's cute.

Spike: *small groan* Perfect. First I'm adorable, and now I'm cute.

Buffy: That's a good thing

Spike: I have an image, you know.

Buffy: *snorts* No you don't. You've been helping me for three years now. Image all gone.

Buffy: *And*, Mr. Decorator, I know plenty of cute things about you.

Spike: *sighs* Well, I have an image with the Scoobies. Cause you don't tell them anything about this.

Spike: Oh?

Buffy: *smiles into Spike's chest and stifles another yawn*

Buffy: At this moment, you have an image with the slayerettes for being nuts. You're never this lucid when they're aroung.

Buffy: around. Sorry.

Spike: *sighs* That's so they'll leave me alone. I can be a hell of an actor, when the situation calls for it.

Spike: Did you ever realize that the Slayer and the Slayerettes sounds like a punk rock band?

Buffy: *frowns and lightly smacks his chest* take that back. We do not.

Spike: *chuckles* Does too.

Buffy: Do you want me to get up? I can go upstairs and go to sleep just as easily.

Spike: *puppy eyes* Sorry.

Buffy: You are not. You're just saying that so I don't move.

Spike: Well, yeah. But... please? *nuzzles her* I don't want you to move. This is possibly one of the best nights of my life, and if you leave, it ends.

Buffy: Just don't call me a punk band again, and we'll be fine.

Spike: *chuckles* Deal, luv.

Spike: You know what the most annoying thing in the world is?

Buffy: Hmm? *closes her eyes again and snuggles a little deeper*

Spike: *sighs happily* You know that moment where you're perfectly comfortable... found just the right spot to go to sleep, and you're just about to doze off, and all of a sudden, this itch that you can't reach comes out of no where.

Buffy: Nope. I can always reach. *grins* Slayer perk.

Spike: Lucky you. *small chuckle* You can reach your hand, right between your shoulder blades?

Buffy: Yep. And I can get my feet around in front of my head from behind if I try. On the other hand, I'm pummeled nightly, so it's an even trade.

Spike: *chuckles softly* Still, that's a skill. I usually have to get up, find a corner or a door, and rub my back hard till the itch goes away.

Buffy: *giggles* Like a bear, huh? *sighs* Stop laughing. WHen you do, the purring gets interupted. Throws my whole pattern off. *nuzzles into his chest*

Spike: *purrs again* Sorry. And yeah, kinda like a bear.

Buffy: *curls her legs up and scritches down a little* I've mentioned that I like the purring right? Becuase, it's really nice.

Spike: *semi-playfully* Seem to remember you mentionin' somethin' 'bout it. *purrs louder*

Buffy: We used to have a cat that slept with me. It'd snuggle into my side and purr all night. Always put me to sleep.

Spike: Oh. So I'm your pet, now, huh? *small smile*

Buffy: Oh, but you can call me pet?

Spike: *chuckles* That's an endearment, luv.

Spike: I'm meanin' like... take me for walks, leave water out in the kitchen kinda pet.

Buffy: *giggle* But we do all that for you, Spike.

Spike: *play growl*

Buffy: Hmm...that's nice too. *shifts a little and starts tracing patterns on his chest*

Buffy: He used to come in just when my parents would start to fight.

Buffy: He'd curl up and start purring. I'd listen to him so I wouldn't have to hear them yelling in the next room. Kinda helped me block it out, you know? *sniffles* My father used to blame my mom for how I turned out.

Spike: *strokes her hair softly, purrs louder* Oh, Buffy... You know it's not your, or anyone's fault, right? You know you're an amazing woman, right?

Buffy: *nods* My mom blamed Giles. The summer I ran away. She blamed him. Even though, technically, she kicked me out. *smiles a little* HE was the only one who didn't blame me for leaving. When I came back...he just said 'welcome home buffy' in that voice of his and let me in.

Spike: *small nod* Rupert's... he's a good guy.

Buffy: *winces* Careful there. I don't think that bump's totally healed yet.

Spike: Oh. Sorry. *purrs* Your mum.. she was still adjusting to all of this... I was really suprised that she didn't know before.

Buffy: The power of denial. Did you know Darla bit her once?

Spike: *blinks* She did?

Buffy: We told her it was a barbecue fork. And she believed us. We don't even *have* a barbecue fork!

Spike: *small chuckle* You know, it could be the blinding spell that's over this bloody town. She had to confront it, before it became real.

Buffy: Wait...*lifts head and looks at him* there's actually a SPELL? It's not just classic denial?

Buffy: How come no one told me?

Spike: *shrugs* I guess humans can't feel it.

Buffy: I'm the damn slayer! People should let me in on this kinda stuff!

Spike: *chuckles* Well, I'm not technically a person, but I'm tellin' you now.

Buffy: You are so. And so was Angel. Wait...Angel knew, and never told me? I used to complain about this all the time to him! *huffs* I think someone should have mentioned it.

Spike: *small smile, purrs louder* Thanks, luv. Maybe he figured that you knew. I mean, I figured that you knew till just now.

Buffy: *sighs and snuggles back into Spike's chest* Maybe. But I think he was just being cryptic.

Spike: *nuzzles her gently* He's got that market cornered, thats for sure. At least when he was Angelus, I knew what the hell he was talkin' about... most of the time.

Buffy: Do we know where Willow is tonight? *glances at the clock* Dawn's at Xander's, I think...

Buffy: *groans* You know, I really should know where she is. This is just not good. Gotta keep better track of these things.

Spike: *cocks head* Hmm. Didn't she mention somethin' about her Magic Addicts Anonymous havin' some sort of all night thing on sundays?

Spike: And, yeah. Bit's at Harris'.

Buffy: Is she still going to that? I thought, after the whole, 'go to england, learn the craft' thing...no one tells me anything anymore.

Spike: *blinks* She was talkin' about it at dinner Thursday... You were there.

Buffy: Was I?

Buffy: What happened Thursday?

Spike: Yeaaaah. You brought the chicken home, remember?

Buffy: Right!

Buffy: Yes. Ok. Now I remember. Kinda.

Buffy: Ok, not really, but I was kinda zoned out.

Spike: And Nibblet was complain' about you forgettin' extra gravy for the potatos.

Buffy: She doesn't eat the potatoes whether I get the gravy or not, so it seemed silly to waste the money.

Spike: *chuckles* Good point.

Buffy: *sighs* What happened?

Spike: Uh.. when?

Buffy: Just now. You stopped purring. I was wondering what happened. *angles her head up to look at him* Was it something I said?

Spike: *starts purring again* I don't like you havin' to worry about money.

Buffy: Oh. *shrugs* Probably gonna be a permanent thing. I can't really spare the time from my busy slaying schedual to work on a carreer or something.

Spike: *sighs* Yeah... But I don't have to like it.

Buffy: Well...In...oh, three years, it's gonna get a lot worse, so I think I'll enjoy this light version of the money stress now, while I still can.

Spike: *sighs again* I wish you'd let me help.

Buffy: Well, If Dawn gets herself a scholarship, we should be ok. here's hoping no one looks at all the days she skipped last year and the shoplifting...*sighs* There's no way she's getting a scholership, is there.

Spike: *small smile* Actually, there's a possibility...

Buffy: Yeah? That someone will look at her and say "Hey! Here's fodder for the prisons! Her sister dropped out, so let's give this one money!" You know, I don't think so.

Spike: *knowing smile* Not what I was talkin' about.

Buffy: *shrugs and starts tracing patterns on his shirt* I suppose, though, if I take some kind of second job, and maybe the school gets a bigger budjet...I might be able to finish after she does. I mean, who says I'm not gonna live that long? Whith my luck, if I do die again, they'll just bring me back...again....

Spike: *small growl* No.

Spike: You're not dyin' anytime soon... and if you do... *closes his eyes hard, before continuing* I won't let them do that again.

Buffy: *quietly* We can't know that.

Buffy: And Willow....we can't know that.

Spike: *clenches his jaw, blinks hard* I. Wouldn't. Let. Them.

Buffy: *looks up at him for a minute before stretching up and kissing his cheek* Thank you.

Spike: *blinks rapidly, looks down at her* You're welcome, luv... I.. You know I wouldn't have let them the first time... If I'd known.

Buffy: *shrugs* I'm past it. ANd at the moment *snuggles in again* I'm damn close anyway. So don't worry about it.

Spike: *a single tear escapes his eye, swipes at it violently* I can't help it. I still... I still have the tower dream. Not every night... but often.

Buffy: *takes the hand that wiped at the tear and kisses it* You can't help being thrown off a fifty-foot tower, Spike. Don't. *closes her eyes* I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. You were all rumbly and now you're crying.

Spike: *blinks hard, sniffles, purrs softly* It's okay, luv... Really. I.. sometimes I just... need a minute, you know?

Spike: That was... Did they even tell you?

Buffy: Tell me what?

Spike: That night. What happened.... after.

Buffy: No. I think they were avoiding the topic at all costs.

Buffy: Can't really blame them.

Spike: Yeah...

Spike: I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring this up.

Buffy: S'ok. *snuggles in a little more, nuzzling his shirt* You're all warm now.

Spike: *purrs louder* I've been noticing. It's a very nice feeling.

Buffy: Hmm... the arm I'm lying on is getting numb, but I don't wanna move to turn over. *smiles* And if only that were the worst problem I had...

Spike: *cocks head* What's wrong, luv?

Spike: *shifts a little, moves the arm she's lying on to be next to his side* This better?

Buffy: *waves hand* Money, Dawn and a big brewin' evil haunting us...that's all.

Spike: *small wince* Don't remind me... *slips a hand between them to rub the healed cuts on his stomach absently*

Buffy: What's that?

Buffy: *shifts a little and wiggles her fingers to get the feeling back.* Yeah. Thanks.

Spike: The evil. Don't remind me about it... I spent six hours tied to a wheel, dripping on that... thing, so that that creepy lookin'... what'd he call it? 'Real' vampire could arise. I'm just glad you got me out of there, luv.

Buffy: *shrugs* It was just creepy to hear my own voice saying it. *looks up at him* How long has it looked like me?

Spike: Off and on, ever since the first time.

Spike: It's looked like you, and Dru, and me, and the Master, and that Warren wanker... some middle aged guy that was way too perky. *shakes head*

Buffy: Perky?

Buffy: *giggles* Did he have a thing about germs?

Buffy: Use words like 'gosh darn' and '

Buffy: golly'?

Spike: *makes a face* Yeah. That's him.

Buffy: *rolls eyes* That'd be the Mayor.

Buffy: Turned into a giant snake for my graduation. Seriously disturbed person.

Spike: No kidding.

Buffy: Couldn't be harmed, but when Angel threw a letter opener at his hand and he pulled it out, he actually used a disinfectant wipe on it.

Spike: *blinks* That IS disturbing.

Buffy: On the other hand...he ate principal Snyder *grins*

Spike: *chuckles* You know, that guy looked like one of those... things, on star trek, with big ears.

Buffy: *clears throat* I mean, that's terrible, and it's a shame he's gone. *Snickers* But really, it was kinda funny..one minute he's actually yelling at the giant snake that this is his school, and no one does this at his graduation...and the next, the snake proves that yes, indeed, they do.

Buffy: *scrunches up nose* Star Trek? He looks like who?

Spike: *shrugs* Dunno. When you're up at night, you watch alot of reruns. I got hooked for awhile on Deep Space 9.

Spike: Called a... Ferengi? Or something like that. Really ugly, has huge ears.

Spike: That's what that guy reminded me of. The principal, I mean.

Buffy: Oh. The bartender guy.

Spike: Yeah.

Buffy: Don't look at me like that! Xander watches it.

Spike: *laughs*

Spike: Believe me, I know. It was one of the few things he and I could hold a civil... well, semi-civil, conversation about.

Buffy: You had conversations? Wow. He must really like you.

Spike: *horrified look*

Buffy: Did you know that Giles was the one who blew up the school?

Buffy: Sorry. But it's true

Buffy: He never bothered to talk to Angel at all.

Spike: *moans, head drops back against the pillows*

Spike: God help me... Hell. Anyone.

Buffy: *looks up at him and shifts on his lap so she's stradling him again* Something the matter?

Spike: *eyes are closed* If Harris likes me more than he did Peaches, it's official. I'm stuck bein' one of the good guys.

Buffy: *sighs and sits back on her heels* I've been snuggled in your lap for almost two hours. I'm fairly certain that you were already commited.

Spike: *opens one eye, regards her* In that case, can I ask you something?

Buffy: Hmm?

Spike: Am I a Scooby?

Buffy: *looks at him for a minute* Well, you've stayed with Xander, and now you're living here. Yeah. Probably. As much as Anya is, I'd say.

Spike: Oh.

Buffy: Why?

Spike: I've just... *sits back up slightly, sighs* I've never really been a part of a group, before. Angelus, Darla, and Dru don't count. They weren't my friends... I've never had real friends. I guess I wanted to know if I have a shot.

Buffy: *looks at him like he's nuts* I say again, I've just spent over two hours snuggled. On. Your. Lap. I'd say you've got a shot.

Spike: *shrugs* I guess I'm just.... Tiger says I'm 'insecure'.

Spike: I'm not.

Spike: Am I?

Buffy: Huh. *squintes at him* Kinda.

Buffy: But you've gotten a soul, after several hundred years without. I think it comes with the pakage

Spike: *small chuckle* Yeah. *cocks head* You don't dislike me... So what about me do you like? I've already given you some of the things I like about you.

Spike: And it was ONE hundred years.

Spike: You're tryin' to make me older than Peaches.

Spike: Oops. Angel. I meant Angel.

Buffy: *sits on his legs, her knees cradling his hips* Kinda touchy about the age, aren't you? *grins*

Spike: *small snort*

Buffy: *raises an eyebrow* Nice save.

Buffy: I like the purring. I mentioned that, right? *smiles* I like the poetry. It's sweet. I still like that you stood by me with Glory.

Buffy: *links her hands behind his head and starts playing with the hairline* I'm still working on how I feel about the whole, 'went out and got a soul for me' thing

Spike: *eyes close for a moment, pushes slightly against her hands, purrs softly*

Spike: Well? Seems kinda simple to me. You either like it, or you don't.

Buffy: It's not that simple. And you know it.

Spike: *pushes against her hands again* Sorry. I'm not in right now. Leave a message after the beep. Beep.

Buffy: It's a whole big thing. Other stuff goes with it. And...

Buffy: *giggles* Very funny *Stops moving her hands* But I'm serious. It's not a simple thing.

Spike: *opens eyes* Sorry. Yeah. You're right. It isn't.... But..It's one of the few things I've done, ever, that I'm proud of, luv.

Buffy: And it was a good thing. I'm just still working out what it means for me. *takes a deep breath* for us.

Spike: *blinks, small smile* You do realize that you've just used the 'U' word, right, pet?

Buffy: Yeah.Almost didn't. But, let's be honest. There is an us. Just...an un- defined us.

Spike: Undefined isn't bad.

Spike: *cocks head* Right?

Buffy: *nods* Right.

Spike: I mean, personally, I like where we are right now.

Buffy: We don't have to define right away, right?

Buffy: Right! It's...comfy. And, and...not pressure-y

Spike: *nods* Exactly. And this is the best I've felt in.. well near a year.

Buffy: *big smile* really?

Spike: *smiles, nods* Yeah. Really. I have this... blissful feeling. Almost like I'm floating. Have been for hours now.

Spike: Admitedly, kinda came down a couple of times, but it's back at the moment.

Buffy: *gives a worried look* BLissfull, huh? The soul...it doesn't have,like, a loophole or something in it, does it?

Spike: *chuckles* Nope. This wasn't a curse, luv. It was a reward. I earned it. I can't get rid of it now, no matter what I do.

Buffy: *nods* Good.

Buffy: *shifts in his lap and sits sideways again, facing the other way and sighs* Now, if you were purring again, I'd be back in heaven.

Spike: *immediatly begins purring loudly*

Buffy: Mmm. *smiles*

Spike: *sighs happily* See? There's that floating feelin' again.

Buffy: *gropes for a hand* I'm not patrolling tonight. My back still hurts from last night, and I don't think I wanna push it. *yawns* It had nothing at all to do with the fact that I'm completly comfy and don't wanna move.

Buffy: has, sorry

Spike: *smiles, lets her grab his hand* Well. You just tell me what you want me to do, luv. Anything. In the mood I'm in, I'd probably literally agree to anything. *nuzzles her, purring loudly*

Buffy: *starts to play with his fingers* Do? We have to do somethiing? Wouldn't that requier moving?

Spike: *sighs contentedly* I hope not.

Buffy: Good. *Turns so her arms are around Spikes waist and she's facing him and snuggles in, curling her legs up beside them*

Buffy: I should warn you, I really might fall asleep.

Spike: *nuzzles her* Not a problem, luv. Really. *small yawn* I might, too. Remember, I didn't sleep much today.

Spike: Besides, vampires love cuddling. You might have noticed. *small chuckle*

Buffy: No. Not really.

Buffy: *clears throat* Angel didn't really...we never actually...cuddling was on the list of things we were allowed to do.

Spike: *small nod* Oh... Well, I don't really have an 'allowed/not allowed' list.... I don't think.

Buffy: Did anyone ever tell you how he lost his soul in the first place?

Spike: *cocks head* Uh.. he mentioned something havin' to do with you... Didn't seem to want to talk about it.

Buffy: oh

Spike: *growls softly* Or maybe he was just too busy 'catchin' up' with Dru to tell me.

Spike: Pretty much ignored me, other than shovin' me in that damn fountain twice. And down the stairs. Backwards, just to see if I could keep the stupid chair upright. *bitterly* Yeah. Loads of fun.

Buffy: *small voice* Oh.

Spike: *deep sigh* There went that floating feeling again. Out the window. *small smile* Not your fault, luv.

Buffy: SOrry.

Buffy: He lost it becuase he had a moment of perfect happiness.

Buffy: Gotta love those Gypsies. They know their loopholes.

Spike: *cocks head* Yeah.. I remember hearin' somethin' about that. What was it?

Buffy: *drops her voice even more* We made love.

Buffy: On my birthday. After the judge...we left, and I was wet...

Buffy: And the next morning he was gone.

Spike: *eyes widen* Oh my god... Buffy... *touches her face gently* You are so lucky he didn't kill you... *ducks head* I'm sorry.

Buffy: *shrugs* Oh, no. He just told me how lousy I was in bed, and how it didn't really mean anything, and then moved on to threaten Willow.

Buffy: No big.

Spike: *winces* It was my fault... The Judge... if we hadn't been after the Judge... *swallows* Buffy... *cups her cheek* You know he was lying, right? You have to know he was lyin' through his fangs.

Buffy: *shrugs again* He might have been. He might not have been. Doesn't matter. And it's not your fault. If it didn't happen that night, it would have eventually. We weren't going to be a platonic couple forever.

Spike: I still feel bad about it. And he WAS lying. *shakes head slowly* There's no way he's that blind and stupid. Either that, or the wanker's numb from the neck down.

Buffy: *sighs* It was my first time, Spike. I wasn't exactly...*shivers and closes her eyes* though, he did tell me I was a ....a real pro. *swallows* Said I had a lot to learn. I'd probably learned it by the time you and I...

Spike: No, Buffy. No. First time or not, it doesn't matter. Luv, you are incredible. Every part of you. You always have been, you always will be. First time or not, it doesn't matter. It's all the same, pet. Everything works, and when you find your pattern, you stick with it. You never, ever, could've been bad, pet. Ever. *certainly*

Spike: *swallows* I'm about to tell you something that no one, and I mean NO ONE has ever known about me.

Buffy: *tries to unobtrusivley wipe her eyes and smiles up at him* Thanks.

Buffy: What?

Spike: When I was turned... *swallows again* Dru... she was my first.

Spike: *gently wipes her eyes with the pad of his thumb* Now, there. Don't you get teary. You'll set me off again.

Buffy: *stares at him for a second and then stretches up and kisses his cheek, twice, breathing into his ear for a minute.*

Buffy: *kissed his cheek againa and slids back down.* Thank you.

Spike: *small smile, purrs softly* For what, luv? Tellin' one of my most embarrassin' secrets?

Buffy: Trusting me. *nuzzles back into his chest and sniffles, trying to wipe her eyes on his shirt*

Spike: *strokes his hands over her back and side gently, comfortingly, purrs a little louder* You should know I trust you... I've trusted you for a long time, luv.

Buffy: *laughs a little and runs her hands over his chest* I got you all wet. Sorry.

Spike: *chuckles softly* I don't mind a bit, luv.

Buffy: *wraps her arms around his waist and burys her face in his chest* This is nice *her voice is mufled in his shirt

Buffy: *

Spike: *smiles* That it is... Aren't you gonna have trouble breathin' there, though, luv?

Buffy: *shakes her head and snuggles in deeper*

Spike: *sighs happily* M'not complainin', mind you. *one hand gently strokes her back* This is quite nice... I don't think we've ever done anything like this before.

Buffy: *voice still muffled* I don't know what we were thinking. This is definitly closer to heaven than being throwin into a wall. This is incredibly close to perfect

Spike: *sighs again, nuzzles her* Close to? This *is* perfect... I think so, anyway.

Buffy: *shrugs* Perfection would be doing this in a blanket, naked....*trails off and burrows deeper* forget I said that last part

Spike: *chuckles softly* I'd rather keep that mental image for hope, if you don't mind.

Buffy: I was kinda hoping you'd find a blanket.

Spike: *chuckles softly* Oh? Like this one over the back of the couch?

Spike: *concerned* Are you cold, luv?

Buffy: Kinda. ANd no. That one is scratchy. It's just for show.

Spike: *considers* Would you be against me gettin' up and comin' right back?

Buffy: *looks up at him* How long would you be gone?

Spike: As long as it takes to get to the linen closet upstairs and back. *smiles*

Buffy: Hmm. *Looks at him for a second* When you come back, will you be all cold again?

Spike: *cocks head* No... It takes awhile for me to get to room tempreture.

Spike: And I can move pretty fast, when the occasion calls for it.

Buffy: *nods* Ok. If you promise to still be toasty warm when you come back.

Spike: *smiles* You'll hardly know I'm gone... *chuckles* But you're either gonna havta move, or I'm gonna have to pick you up and carry you with me.

Buffy: *looks down at herself* huh *smiles* Do I get to pick one of those?

Spike: *grins* If you want to.

Buffy: *cocks head* If you carry me with you, I can make sure we get the really soft blue blanket. You'll just grab the first one you see.

Spike: *laughs* Have it your way, then. *scoops her into his arms and stands up, heading upstairs* Absolutely no risk of my tempreture droppin' this way, too.

Buffy: *squeals when he picks her up* I didn't think you'd actually do it!

Buffy: *giggles and looks down* But now that I'm here...

Spike: *chuckles* Now that you're here, what? *cocks head* For one thing, could you open the linen closet? I'm kind of out of hands.

Buffy: I can do that *reaches out and yanks the door open* and now that I'm here, I might as well stay. It's still awgfly comofy.

Buffy: *grabs the soft blanket and closes the door* Got it.

Spike: *turns around, heads back downstairs* I told you that you weren't heavy.

Spike: I could probably toss you up in the air and catch you without a problem.

Buffy: *squeals* Don't you dare!

Buffy: I mean it.

Spike: *laughs* I was just kiddin', luv. *gives her a faked stern look* Although you DO deserve for me to do SOMETHING after the way you were ticklin' me earlier.

Buffy: *looks at him innocently* But I thought you liked that?

Buffy: *snuggles into his chest and smiles* And if you do something like that, I won't be comfy anymore.

Buffy: *peeks up at him* You want to do that?

Spike: *chuckles, sighs* Alright... alright. Fine. *sits on the couch, places her back in his lap* There.

Spike: And there's a big gap between 'like' and 'wanting you to do it again'. Remember that.

Buffy: *smiles impishly again* Sure. Not a problem.

Spike: *raised eyebrow* I don't like that look, Slayer.

Buffy: *curls her legs up and snuggles back into SPike's chest, this time bringing the blanket around them, talking into his chest again* What look?

Spike: Your patented 'I'm-just-saying-this-so-that-you'll-shut-up-about-it-while-I- secretly-plot-to-attack-you-again' look.

Buffy: I didn't know I'd patented it. No one's sent me any money for it, I know that for sure.

Buffy: *pulls her legs in closer and throws the blanket over them* So, did your arms fall off from carrying me?

Spike: *glances at one shoulder, then the other* I don't know. They seem to be under a blanket right now... I can see the beginning of them. *moves a hand under the blanket* Ah. There's the other end. Nope. Still here. *grins playfully*

Buffy: I was just wondering, since they seemed to dissapear.

Buffy: *snuggles closer* You're in a good mood.

Spike: *chuckles softly* Yeah. Kinda hard to not be in a good mood right now.

Buffy: Why's that? *wriggles a bit and turns head, nuzzling a cheek into Spike's shirt*

Spike: Oh, gee. Let me think. *chuckles* I'm warm, and safe. I'm cuddling with the woman I love... And, moreover, I never really thought this would happen, so it's kinda like a... really good dream, and I don't want to wake up.

Buffy: *shifts under the blanket and pinches his arm*

Spike: *blinks* Ow! Hey! What was that for?

Buffy: Still here?

Spike: *looks around* Yeah... Oh. *chuckles* You know, I said it FELT like a dream, not that I thought I actually WAS dreaming, luv. That hurt.

Buffy: *smiles a little* Just wanted to put your mind at ease *snuggles in closer and wraps the arm around his waist again* Wriggle your arm. I can't find it.

Spike: *moves his arm* Do you need it for something?

Buffy: Yeah. Could you put your hand on the small of my back?

Spike: *does as she asked* And?

Buffy: NOpe. That's it. *smiles up at him impishly and closes eyes* Thanks.

Spike: *sighs happily* Not a problem, luv. *moves the hand a little, rubbing the small of her back gently*

Buffy: mm. Do we know where the other one is?

Buffy: *starts groping around for it under the blanket*

Spike: *chuckles* I'm assumin' at the end of my other arm.

Buffy: Ha ha

Spike: *moves his hand where she can find it, small snicker* Sorry. Couldn't resist.

Buffy: *moves the hand to the middle of her back and sighs.* Much better. *peaks up at him* Never knew it'd be such a trial to get a hug from you

Spike: *blinks* Why didn't you ask?

Spike: *almost shyly* I kinda... I've been wantin' to put my arms around you for hours, luv... I just didn't know if you'd let me.

Buffy: *groans* I've been dropping hints since I sat down. How dense can you get?

Buffy: If I'd snuggled in any closer, we'd be sharing skin

Spike: *ducks head slightly* Buffy... After all we've been through.. I don't want to risk losing this... There are very few things that scare me, really scare me, and the thought that you might suddenly go back to hating me is one of them... Probably the biggest one. I have nightmares where we're... together, and you wake up, and ... stake me.

Spike: It's a recurrin' one, too. Been havin' it for over a year now.

Buffy: SPike, not two weeks ago, you *asked* me to stake you.

Buffy: I said no. So, the chances of that nightmare actually happening isn't all that likely

Spike: That's different. In the dream.. before you fall asleep, you say you.. say that you love me. And then, when you wake up, you call me a 'disgusting thing', and stake me. I don't even know where the stake comes from.

Spike: *blinks hard*

Buffy: *Raises an eyebrow* Spike, do you *ever* know where I hid my stakes?

Buffy: *reaches up and traces his cheek* What happened to the happy, floaty feeling?

Spike: *blinks rapidly* It left again.

Buffy: You know, it's hard on the ego when you hug me and *lose* the happy- niceness.

Spike: Sorry.

Buffy: *lays head back on his chest* I just got tired of holding you and not being held. After a few years of everyone doing the same thing, it gets old.

Spike: *squeezes her gently, nuzzles her* Small question, though. When have you ever held me? And when I've been nuts really doesn't count, cause I have really sketchy memories of that.

Buffy: I meant in general. But I've been holding you all day.

Buffy: Or at least, as long as we've been sitting here.

Spike: *small grin* Yeah, well, there is that.

Spike: *nuzzles her again* That feeling's startin' to come back again.

Buffy: Good *smiles and snuggles closer again* It shouldn't have gone away. A girl doesn't like to hear that holding her is depressing.

Spike: *chuckles softly* That wasn't what did it, and you know it. I'm just.. full of dreamworld phobias, and bringin' any of them up, no matter how wonderful the surroundings and company, is liable to get me shakin'.

Buffy: The reasonable solution, then, is to not bring 'em up. At least, not when you're supposed to be floating. *nuzzles his chest and sighs, curling her legs to get her feet under the blanket*

Spike: *purrs loudly* Got my motor goin' again. *chuckles*

Buffy: Good. I like the purr. I know I've mentioned it today.

Spike: *small laugh* About.. six times now, luv.

Buffy: Good. So you should know better than the stopping. *closes eyes and shifts so the purr rumbles through her chest at the contact.* Much better

Spike: *smiles softly, nuzzles her again* Tell me something about you that I don't know. I'm in a discovery mood.

Buffy: Something you don't know...

Buffy: OH! I used to ice skate. *grins into his chest* I won a few awards, too.

Buffy: I had this whole phase where I wanted to be Dorothy Hammil

Spike: *smiles* Really? I used to love watchin' skatin' on the Winter Olympics. Every time I had a telly... And there was no one around, of course. I never learned how, though.

Spike: You musta had your Slayer balance early, then, eh, luv?

Buffy: *giggles* Actually, not at first. I think I spent the first six months with my ass on the ice.

Buffy: But it got better. Probably *why* my balance is so good, come to think of it.

Spike: *cocks head* Hmm. Could be. Might have also helped with things like timing, and stamina.

Spike: *smiles* When did I aquire the ability to make you giggle? Don't think I've caused that reaction before tonight.

Buffy: I've been giggle most of the day, too. *playfully swats his arm* Pay attention, will you? I can't keep pointing this stuff out. Makes a girl self concious.

Buffy: giggling

Spike: *chuckles* I've been payin' attention, luv. I was just sayin'... I like hearin' your laugh. You don't do it enough. *smiles*

Buffy: Too much slaying. Tends to suck the giggles out of life. *blinks* Wow. That was an interesting thing to say. Wanna talk about bad poetry? Wow. *shakes head and snuggles back in*

Spike: *chuckles softly* No. That wasn't bad. I can do bad. *clears throat dramatically*

"My heart expands,

Tis grown a bulge in it,

Inspired by your beauty effulgent."

*small head shake* And I used to wonder why they teased me all the time.

Buffy: *frowns* That was bad? *looks up at him* So, what, I just have lousy taste? I mean, it wasn't the best I've ever heard, but it wasn't *bad*....

Spike: *blinks* Are you serious, or are you just tryin' to keep me from gettin' depressed again?

Buffy: *rolls her eyes* SInce when do I ever say things to spare your feelings?

Spike: Since really really recently.

Spike: Like.. about six hours ago.

Buffy: I beg your pardon? ANd what did I say that wasn't true six hours ago?

Spike: *small smile* Just... not 'not true', just like you're... glossing over some things, you know? I could swear that you're tryin' to be nice to me all of a sudden. *squeezes her gently* Not sayin' I mind, but still.

Buffy: *pouts* I have not said one thing today that was even slightly untrue. I'm always honest with you. Even since the soul *pokes him very lightly under his ribs*

Spike: *squirms a little* Uh uh, no, Buffy. And I know you're honest with me. That's one of the things I love about you.

Buffy: So, what did I say earlier that you think wasn't true? I'm interested. *flutters fingers just a bit against his ribs*

Spike: *squirms, snickers a little* Nothin'.. really, I just... You've never been this nice to me before, luv. I'm still gettin' used to it.

Buffy: You sure? *moves fingers again* I mean, you're not just being nice now, or covering your ass? *flutters fingers up a little*

Spike: *squeaks* I'm not! *giggles slightly* Quit that, luv!

Buffy: But it's kinda fun...*moves fingers down again in a circle* And you did accuse me of lying...

Spike: *squirms, giggles again* When did I say you were.... *snickers* Lying?

Buffy: *clears throat and continues to lightly tickle* And I quote, 'Are you serious, or are you just tryin' to keep me from gettin' depressed again?'

Spike: *grits his teeth to keep from laughing* Are you... serious.. means I thought... you were joking...

Buffy: *giggles* Nice save, but I'm not buying it *frees the other hand and starts making little tickel-circles on his stomach* Add to that the fact that I've kissed you four times and you haven't kissed me onece...*hands wander to his sides* and I had to resort to actually moving your arms to get a freakin' hug...

Spike: Sorry. Back.

Spike: *sighs*

Spike: Now, where were we?

Spike: *cocks head* Luv? You still here?

Buffy: *giggles* Nice save, but I'm not buying it *frees the other hand and starts making little tickel-circles on his stomach* Add to that the fact that I've kissed you four times and you haven't kissed me onece...*hands wander to his sides* and I had to resort to actually moving your arms to get a freakin' hug...

Buffy: Is what I said.

Buffy: How do you zone out on someone who's tickling you?]

Buffy: *frowns at him and tickles harder*

Spike: *breaks into helpless laughter* NOOO! BuffYY!

Buffy: *moves hands back to his stomach* You called me a liar! That's just not nice..

Spike: *squeals* I did NOT!!

Buffy: *giggles and wriggles on his lap for leverage* You did so!

Spike: I.. said... *wave of laughter* ... that you were... jokin'.... Never.. said.. 'lying'... *squirms helplessly*

Buffy: I asked you *hands move up his sides* if I ever ly to you. You said *tickels back down to his stomach and then up again* yeah, within the last six hours! That's the same as calling me a liar. *wriggles again for a better position and shivers when the blanket falls from shoulder*

Spike: *gains control of one hand long enough to pull the blanket back up over her, rather than fight back* Okay! I was kidding!! *laughs harder, makes a screeching sound when she hits a particularly sensitive spot near his bellybutton*

Buffy: You were? *stops with one hand and wraps the arm back around him, but keeps the other moving up his side* I want you to take it back.

Spike: *snickers* I take it... back... Just.. *giggles* Stop it...

Buffy: You're just saying that so I'll stop *tickles a bit harder* you don't actually mean it

Spike: *squeals* Buffffyyyy!!

Buffy: Well if you wouldn't call me a liar, you wouldn't get tickled.

Spike: I... I didnnn'tt! *squirms* Sstoo-hahahaha-oopp!

Buffy: you Did so. *stops for a minute* Take it back?

Spike: *pants* I said.. before.. I take.. it back.

Buffy: Yeah, but you didn't mean it before.

Spike: *chuckles quietly* Yes I did. *mumbles something unintelligible*

Buffy: What? *trails fingers up his side and flutters them on the way back down* What did you say?

Spike: *snickers* I said... Why would... I tell you something... to get you to.. stop.. when we both.. know that I .. like this? *giggles*

Buffy: *fakes a gasp* That's right! You like this! *frees her other hand and starts tickling harder again* Good. Because I can't remember the last time I giggled this much

Spike: *squeals, squirms helplessly* Aaaaaahhhhhaaaaa! Meee... neitherrrr!

Buffy: *stops and wraps arms back around his waist, taking a deep breath* Ok. *sighs* That was...*grins* Well, fun. But now I'm just cold. *trys to burrow deeper into his chest and pulls her legs back under the blanket*

Spike: *is breathing hard, pulls the blanket up around them, tucking it close* Bloody... You know.. I'm startin' to like that no one's home at night much anymore... *chuckles softly*

Buffy: *mumbles into his chest* Is the heat even on?

Spike: *cocks head* Dunno... I can go look, but that would mean gettin' up again.

Buffy: NO! *snuggles in closer* No. Just cover my legs. They're like ice. I shoulda worn pants, but I didn't know we'd be all snugly like this

Spike: *sighs happily, tucks the blanket around her legs* I'm hoping I can say 'get used to it'.

Buffy: *mumbles* Ice, they're like ice. I think there's a draft there....

Spike: *ducks head* I think it's me.

Spike: No matter how long we're like this, I can't get above about.. eighty five.

Buffy: *shakes head* Not you. *points* My legs are the one part of me not touching you, ang they're the one part not warm. So, it's not you

Spike: *cocks head* Hmm. *shifts around, pulling her more into his lap, so that her legs are tucked near his* Maybe this'll fix it.

Buffy: *giggles* Now the side against you is warm, and the rest is cold. *takes one of his hands off her back and runs it along her leg.* It's freezing. Is it really that cold in here?

Spike: *closes eyes for a moment* S'about... sixty eight, or so. *begins rubbing his hand up and down her leg gently* Maybe this'll help a bit.

Buffy: *hums into his chest* Feels good, anyway

Spike: *quietly* Yeah... *presses a gentle kiss to the top of her head*

Buffy: Hmm...that's one. You still owe me three more. *smiles into his chest and snuggles deeper*

Spike: *smiles* I'm workin' on it, luv.

Spike: *the other arm wraps around her again, hand gently stroking her side in the same rythem as the one on her leg*

Buffy: *hums again and tightens arms* How's the floaty feeling?

Spike: *sighs* Back in full force... And I think it brought friends. *chuckles*

Buffy: I was just wondering...*nuzzles cheek against his chest* because you're not purring.

Spike: *chuckles* Takes a little while to recover from hysterical laughter, you know.

Buffy: Y'know, I think it might be considered a sin in some places to be this comfortable.

Buffy: Really wich I cared...

Buffy: *sighs* Suddenly sorry I tickled you...

Spike: *small grin* I've got an on switch. You just have to find it.

Buffy: Too tired to look for it. I laughed too hard

Spike: *small snort* *You* laughed too hard, huh?

Buffy: *grins*Yep. Tickling a grown vampire is hard work

Spike: *snorts again* Uh huh. Would be harder if I was actually trying to stop you.

Buffy: *pouts* Spoil my fun

Spike: *chuckles* I'll give you a hint. *gently takes one of her hands and places it on the back of his neck* Do what you were doin' earlier, and I promise you, I'll be purrin' in no time.

Buffy: Oh. *grins and starts playing with his hair line* That works out well, becuase I like this right here *trails a finger through the edge of his hair* it's all soft and silky

Spike: *purrs loudly, eyes half close* That's the on switch. *small chuckle*

Buffy: Good to know...but now my hand's cold. *smiles into his chest* But I don't want the good rumbly-ness to stop. Will the blanket reach?

Spike: *tucks it up around them in response, then returning the hand to her side to continue the earlier attentions, keeps purring* Looks like it.

Buffy: Good. *sighs and mumbles, snuggling into his chest again* that leg's warm now. Do the other

Spike: *chuckles softly, begins rubbing the other leg, still purring loudly* Now. This is perfect. *nuzzles, and gently kisses the top of her head again*

Buffy: Uhm hmm...*sighs* that's two. Two down, two to go. *smiles and presses a kiss into his chest* Make that three to go.

Spike: *sighs happily, goes limp for a moment* Not fair, luv... How'm I supposed to keep up with you?

Buffy: *grins into his shirt* That's kinda self explanitory, isn't it?

Spike: *soft chuckle, purrs loudly, pushes against the hand at his hairline, eyes closing for a moment*

Spike: Kinda. Yeah.

Buffy: *scratches along his hairline for a minute and starts running the fingers through the hair just at the edge* You could be hugging me right now, you know.

Spike: *keeps purring loudly* I thought my hands were otherwise occupied.

Buffy: *closes eyes and leans into him* One hand is occupied. The other is hanging loosley around my waist. It could be holding tighter. *giggles* 'this could be mathier'

Buffy: Sorry. Just remembered something

Spike: *tightens his arm around her* Oh? What? *softly kisses the top of her head again, then nuzzles, the purring getting louder again*

Buffy: Oh. What I just said. 'There could be more math. This could be mathier'. That was back when I thought Giles was always a tweed-wearin' kid. I figured he used to say that in math class. *giggles* I was very wrong, apperantly.

Buffy: *laces fingers through his and pulls the arm even tighter* *This* is perfect. *sighs and snuggles closer*

Buffy: I'm gonna fall asleep.

Spike: *smiles* You've said that before, and have yet to actually fall asleep, you know.

Buffy: Says you. I've dozed a few times, actually.

Spike: Huh. *small, unidentifiable noise* I'm borin', then?

Buffy: No. Your purr put me to sleep. It won't now, though. *pointed look, scratches again at his hairline* It being gone and all...

Spike: *purrs again, louder than before, small chuckle* Sorry, luv.

Spike: *cocks head, considering* Can I ask you something?

Buffy: *mumbles into his chest* Ask away.

Spike: *quietly* If any of the Scoobies were to walk in, right now, what would you do? *is still purring, but quieter*

Buffy: With the state I'm in, I'm likely to wave and go back to sleep.

Buffy: Why? *snuggles in closer* Do you hear someone?

Buffy: Because I'd hate to move, but someone might want the couch. The TV *is* in here...

Spike: No.. I was just wonderin'.

Spike: Somehow, I thought you'd jump off me at the speed of light, and make an excuse.

Buffy: *frowns* Maybe. A year ago. *looks up at him* Did I not move you into my house? Were they not all right here when I did that?

Buffy: I fed you, with Xander in the next room.

Buffy: It's a little late to be worrying what they'll think

Spike: *eyes well, closes them tightly* *quietly* Thank you.

Buffy: Hmmm. *shifts legs* The other one's clod again. How cold did you say it is in here?

Spike: *quietly* Sixty eight, or thereabouts. *begins rubbing other leg, cocks his head, leans down, and presses a lingering kiss to her forehead, just under the hairline*

Buffy: Oh. *smiles and leans into it* I'd say that counts for two, but I don't wanna get jipped.

Spike: *chuckles softly* I couldn't help it. There's this... warm place, somewhere around my stomach... *nuzzles her, kisses again, the same way* It makes me want to do that....

Buffy: *hums and makes a faint move to follow his retreating mouth* I like that place, wherever it is. *tries to curl legs up again* But my legs are still cold. I knew when I put this stupid skirt on this morning that I'd regret it.

Spike: *cocks head* Do you want to get up for a moment, and go change?

Buffy: *shakes head* I'm not movinig from this spot unless a demon crashs through that door. *groans* and I just jinxed us, didn't I?

Spike: *chuckles* Nope. Only demon 'round here is me.

Buffy: Good. I can't afford to replace that door again.

Spike: *sighs quietly* I wish I could help you warm up, luv... But there's only one thing I can think of, and I don't think you'd want to do it.

Buffy: *distractedly* Hmm?

Buffy: *yawns*

Spike: Well, I don't know about you, but sitting up for twelve hours has been making my back a bit.. uncomfortable. I could carry you upstairs, and we could lie down... *has gotten progressivly quieter, trails off* Sorry. I shouldn't be suggesting anything like that.

Buffy: Why? You gonna take advantage after I fall asleep? With the lack of sleep you've been working under lately, I could take you in two seconds flat.

Buffy: But this plan better not involve me standing, because I'm half asleep as it is.

Spike: *shakes head* No standing... and.. I'd never.. I couldn't...*closes eyes for a moment, composing himself, swallows* I said I'd pick you up again, and I meant it.

Buffy: *frowns* the purring stopped *looks up at him, confused* What'd I just miss?

Spike: *swallows again* Another one of my nightmares... one of the memory ones. I'm sorry.

Buffy: *sighs* I was so comfy, too. Ok. *groans* Put me down.

Spike: *cocks head, releases her* I was gonna take you upstairs, though... I just... I can't even think about.. *shakes head*

Buffy: Ok. *stands and holds his arms for a minute while she blinks awake, then reaches up and cups his face in both hands* Listen to me, ok?

Spike: *small nod*

Buffy: Dreams. Are. Not. Real. not of things that haven't happened. Got it?

Buffy: And memory's are just that.

Buffy: They're memories. They do not mean that everything will happen like that again.

Buffy: *frowns* are you listening to me?

Spike: *slow nod* Yeah... It's just... I wish I was as sure as you.

Spike: I can't even... look in the bathroom... I hear... and see and smell... *swallows, shivers a little* And I just want to fall on my knees in front of you, and beg for forgiveness, even though I know I don't deserve it. *slight whimper*

Buffy: *sighs and leans into his chest* We've just spent the better part of a day, snuggled up on a couch. I tickeld you, and kissed you. Where did you miss the part that I've already forgiven you? I thought that was pretty clear a few weeks ago.

Spike: *puts his arms around her, rests his chin atop her head* I.. I guess it's me, who can't forgive myself, luv.... I'm just... So bloody scared that I might hurt... anyone. Not just you. I thought I was doing so good... and then I find out I've been killing people, and didn't even know about it. That... shook me, to put it mildly. And then... the wheel, and that ... that.. thing...

Spike: *glances down at her questioningly* Is that... what's inside me, you think? Something like that?

Buffy: *sighs again* All things I didn't want to be thinking about tonight. *mumbles* so much for the happy floaty feeling *louder* I don't know. But probably not. You said she called it a REAL vampire. Meaning, you're not one. so...probably not.

Spike: *wipes at his eyes absently* Buffy?

Buffy: Hmm?

Spike: *moves to get up* I want to go upstairs... Can we go lie down? *almost sheepishly* You've been pretty comfortable, but my back's achin

Buffy: *raises an eyebrow* You gonna go all retrospective and depressing again?

Spike: *shakes head* No. I promise. Tiger's only gonna let me stay a couple more hours, though.

Spike: I noticed that TL never kicked you off to go watch her show. *small smile*

Buffy: I've been informed that t was a repeat. Though, I don't think she had the heart to make me get up. I was comfy

Spike: *smiles* Good. So.. upstairs? *stands up slowly, stretching his back and wincing slightly*

Buffy: 'kay. *yawns and stretches a bit* Am I walking? *looks at the stairs* If I'm walking, I might just go to sleep on the couch.

Spike: *sweeps her into his arms* You didn't think I'd actually let you WALK up those horrible stairs, did you? *grins*

Buffy: *snuggles in* Wasn't sure. You were doing the whole doom and gloom thing.

Spike: *small sigh* I AM sorry, you know. It's the bloody soul. Ruins good moments.

Spike: *carries her upstairs*

Buffy: Hmm. But I like the soul. Changed all sorts of things. *cuddles in a little more and whispers to herself* changed everything

Spike: *moves into Buffy's room, sits on the bed, still holding her* Like what? All that I've noticed is bouts of insanity, more bad dreams than usual, and problems keepin' my food down.

Buffy: *sighs* Spike, why did you get the soul in the first place?

Spike: *quietly* Lotsa reasons, but.. mostly.. cause you kept saying that you could never love a soulless demon. And I... I'm tired of loving people who find it impossible to love me back. I've been doing that my whole bloody life, and I'm tired of the hurt. A heart can only break so many times before it stops working. I was trying to extend the life of a burned out battery. *sighs*

Buffy: ok. So, wanna ask me again what it changed?

Spike: I want to know what YOU think it changed.

Buffy: *smiles* You. It changed you. I figured you'd noticed that part. The souless spike would not have asked me to stake him. Or spent a day just snuggling on the couch. Or ever, *ever* "Lowered" himself to stay with Xander.

Buffy: Keep up, Spike. I just spent a very long, sleepy day with you, curled up on a couch. We're not talking the kind of beat 'em up, black eye sex you and I were engaging in eight months ago.

Spike: *small smile, releases her for a moment to crawl up the bed and stretch out before pulling her to him* You know what? You're right. I guess it takes someone else, to make someone see the changes in themselves. The weird thing is, I don't feel any different, aside from the occasionally crushing guilt. I still care about everyone I did before... a little more in some cases.

Buffy: Good. *snuggles into his chest* Oh *looks down* We're on top of the covers. *Glances at her legs* Kinda defeats the purpose, doesn't it?

Spike: *chuckles, rolls one way, untucking the covers, rolls back the otherway, wrapping them around them* This better?

Buffy: *shakes head* Nope. Legs are still cold

Spike: *blinks* But you're under the covers now.... *cocks head* What did I do wrong?

Buffy: *grins* You were rubbing them before.

Spike: *pokes at her waist for a moment, before rubbing her legs again* Make me think I messed up. *small snort*

Buffy: *giggles* Don't tickle! I'm the only one who gets to tickle. *weaves legs in with his* That's...*shifts a little and scoots closer*. Ok. That's better

Spike: *slips his arm around her, pulls her even closer* No. This is better. *chuckles* And who said you were the only one with priviledges?

Buffy: I did. *peers up at him* didn't you just hear me?

Spike: *rolls eyes* That's not fair, luv.

Buffy: *shrugs and rubs legs on his to warm them* No one said life was fair.

Buffy: *sighs* at least, no one said it to *me*

Spike: *kisses the top of her head* Now who's bein' gloomy?

Buffy: Uh uh. *Shakes head* I'm not being gloomy. I'm being...*sighs* Ok, so I'm being gloomy. Sorry.

Spike: *small chuckle* Okay. New rules, then. If you're gloomy, I'm gonna poke you. That should fix it, don't you think? *playfully raised eyebrow*

Buffy: Nope. I veto your rule. *Snuggles in closer* However, I do vote for a hugs. *yawns* Hugs are of the good.

Spike: *smiles, tightens his arm around her* I think I agree with that. *nuzzles gently, begins purring softly*

Buffy: mm...you're purring. Purring is of the good, too.

Spike: *purrs louder* I know you like it when I purr. You seem to have mentioned it... I think we're up to eight times, now.

Buffy: Gonna keep mentioning it.

Buffy: *peeks up at him* Unless it's bothering you?

Spike: *smiles* Not one bit. It's nice to hear you say you like something I'm doing, for a change.

Spike: Uh oh.. Luv?

Buffy: hmm?

Spike: Tiger's makin' me leave.

Buffy: Oh. *pouts* I was just getting warm...

Spike: *sighs* I know. Me too. But, she says something about it bein' 4:13 in the morning, and her actually needing to sleep for a change.

Spike: I'm sorry.

Buffy: *sighs* 'Kay.

Spike: But, hey. We can pick up from here tomorrow, if you want.

Buffy: *smiles* I want.

Buffy: I definitly want.

Spike: *grins* Me too. Harris and Red are gonna be out tomorrow night, and Dawn's got that school thing, right?

Buffy: Ok...Spike? Do you mind if TL keeps this conversation?

Buffy: Right

Spike: *smiles* She can not only keep it, could she email it to me? I lost the first... six hours when Tiger was kicked offline before.

Buffy: Sure.

Spike: Tigerwolf0207@msn.com

Buffy: She's muttering about not being able to write like this.

Buffy: 'kay

Spike: That's my personal address. *chuckles*

Spike: *laughs* Well, cant' hold a candle to reality, now can she?

Buffy: Nope.

Spike: *one last kiss to the top of her head* I think that evens us out.

Buffy: *closes eyes and sighs* Ok. See you tomorrow.

Spike: *quietly, just before leaving* ...I love you.

Buffy: *smiles* I know.