Title: Buffy's Dead!
Author: Nopporn Wongrassamee aka the Evil Author
EMail Address: EvilAuthor@aol.com
Archive: Anywhere and everywhere. Just tell me if you do.
Spoilers: Post season 5
Summary: People...er, react to Buffy dying
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters. I'm not
charging anything. Yadda yadda...


"Buffy's dead," Willow announced.

"Dead...are you sure, Willow?" Giles asked.

"Damn," Xander said, "You all know what that means."

"Yeah," Anya answered. She reached up and pulled aside a
curtain. Instead of a window, she unveiled a carefully
labeled chart. Various names were labeled at the top and
dates marked the left side. "So, who wants to place the
first bet?"

"Next week," Spike replied. "I say twenty bucks and Buffy
will be up and about next week."

"Right, next week, twenty dollars," Anya said, marking the
wager down. "And it's Buffy, not the Buffy robot."

"Bloody, 'ell."

"I say..." Giles began.

"Thirty dollars says three months," Willow put in. "Hasn't
everybody noticed how everything seems to start happening
around then?"

"Now that you mention it..." Giles began again.

"Right, thirty dollars from the witch," Anya interupted.
"Forfeit if Willow tries any ressurection spells. We don't
want any fiascoes like last time."

"Awwww..."

"Don't worry, Willow," Tara comforted. "I'm sure Buffy can
make it back to life on her own."

"Uh, yeah, right," Willow said quickly. "That was what I
was thinking of."

"This is all..." Giles tried again.

"Honey, put us down for 10 bucks," Xander said. "Say in,
oh, Halloween."

"But nothing happens in Halloween," Anya protestd.

"In this town?" Xander retorted, flashbacking to past
Halloweens where "nothing" happened.

"Point, ten dollars," Anya conceded. "Hey, Giles. Don't you
want to make a bet?"

"I'm ashamed of you all!" Giles exclaimed. "Buffy's dead.
A person we all love and care for has left this mortal
coil. How can you all be so...so callous about it? I...I
mean, just because she's come back from the dead several
times already d...doesn't mean that...ah..."

The others just stared back at him. Giles took off his
glasses and started cleaning them.

"Twenty-five," he muttered. "Next month."

***

"Angel Investigations," Cordelia sang, answering the
phone. "We help the helpless. Willow? Hi, what's been...
Buffy? Dead? You sure?"

By this time, Cordelia had accrued a small audience. The
rest of the team was clustering around her desk.

"It's Willow," Cordelia told them. "She says that Buffy's
dead."

"Again?" Fred asked.

"Again," Cordelia confirmed. "She wants our bets."

"Bets?" Angel objected, "How can she ask for bets at a
time like this?"

"Fifteen dollars, end of the year," Wesley told Cordelia.
He turned to Angel. "Angel, we have every confindence (and
plenty of evidence) that Buffy's death will only be a
temporary condition."

"Yeah, the girl has more lives than that werecat we ran
into," Gunn added. "Five bucks, Thanksgiving."

"This...this just feels so wrong," Angel muttered. "Okay,
fine. Fifty dollars for, oh, the fourth of July. Can I go
brood now?"

"Yeah, sure, have fun," Cordelia said waving him off as
she relayed the wagers to Willow.

***

"This is Dawn Summers," Dawn said, answering her cell
phone.

"Dawn? It's Willow. I'm afraid I have some bad news. Are
you sitting down?"

"Yeah," Dawn said uncertainly.

"Buffy's dead."

"Buffy's dead?" Startled, Dawn glanced at her companion
who began writing furiously on a note pad.

"Yeah, dead," Willow confirmed. "Anya's taking bets on
when Buffy'll come back to life."

"Again?" Dawn's companion held up the note so that Dawn
could read it. "Um, ah, can you put me down for a hundred
dollars?"

"Uh, sure," Willow replied, obviously taken aback by the
large wager. "Dawnie, do you even have that much money?"

"I'm sure I'll find a source."

"When? When do you think Buffy'll be back?"

"Today."

The other end of the line was silent for several minutes.
Silent except for what were obviously shouts being muffled
by someone's hand over the mouthpiece.

"Uh, Dawn, do you know something we don't?" Willow finally
asked.

Reaching across her hospital bed, Dawn's companion plucked
the phone from Dawn's grasp. She had been listening in and
decided now was a good time to interupt.

"She sure does," Buffy told Willow. "If anyone is going to
make money on my own death, it's going to be me!"