Buffy:
You here?
Spike: Hey, luv.
Buffy: Hey.
Spike: *small sigh* I was talkin' to Aaron a bit ago..
Buffy: *raises an eyebrow* Yeah?
Spike: He... there was a little girl, and this.. vampiress was bitin' her, so he staked her... *is gettin' quieter*
Spike: It was Dru.
Buffy: Oh. *bites lip* I'm sorry.
Spike: *deep sigh* Yeah.. I just found out about.. five minutes ago.
Spike: My stomach's in knots...
Buffy: *swallows and nods* Do you need me to go?
Spike: I'd rather you sat with me... Feelin' kinda.. sick. *glances up at her from his spot on the couch* It'd really help if you'd stay with me.
Buffy: *wipes eyes* You sure? I'm in kinda a depressed mood myself. I won't be a whole lotta comfort
Spike: Misery loves company. *small, pained smile* You want to tell me what happened?
Buffy: *shrugs and sits down* Nothing happened, like that. TL saw the end of A.I. None of us had ever seen it, and it was on HBO, and she was eating dinner.
Buffy: It was really sad. She cried. Which, of course means that I cried.
Buffy: Sharing a body and all that.
Spike: Oh. That is depressing. I hate that movie.
Spike: It makes no sense. It's like... Pinnochio, but... not.
Spike: And the end is so bloody sad... That he gets his mum back, only for her to die again.
Buffy: I know. She only caught, like, the last twenty minutes of it. As he's flying through the underwater disney is where she came in.
Buffy: I don't know *why* She insists on watching just the ends of sad movies, when everyone's told her it's depresing. She cries really easily to begin with.
Spike: *nods* Yeah.
Spike: *sighs* So does Tiger.
Spike: Hell, I do to... sometimes.
Buffy: *wipes eyes again* But it's just a movie. I was coming online to distract myself. Plus, you were gonna be here.
Spike: *small smile* I'm not helpin'. I know.
Buffy: I'm sorry about Dru....I mean, ok, not in the sense that she won't be killing anymore. But I'm sorry for you.
Spike: *nods slowly* Yeah.... *blinks a couple of times* So.. Bit's upstairs studyin'?
Buffy: *shakes head* Nope. She got invited to some kind of sleepover study session. They'll take her to school in the morning.
Spike: Oh. Well, then. *small smile* At least I don't have to worry about flyin' text books.
Buffy: *rolls eyes* I'm sure it was a one time thing.
Spike: Yeah.. the next time, she'll probably just haul off and punch me. *small snort* And I'm gonna let her.
Spike: She can't really hurt me, after all, and it might help her to get it out.
Buffy: *cleras throat* She can hurt you, actually.
Buffy: *sheepish look* I've been training her. All summer. She can...she's throwing pretty good punches these days.
Spike: *blinks* Great.
Spike: *sighs* Another thing I missed, aparently.
Buffy: Well, it wasn't safe!
Buffy: I mean, she's this...this huge source of mystical engery we know nothing about, and I'm not always with her, and she was complaining that I treat her like she's helpless, and then, in that hole, with the undead...tings, I got a great demonstration that she isn't...did you know she learned to sword-fiht just from watching me?
Spike: *smiles* I had an inkling.
Spike: She's got your natural grace.
Spike: And sharp tongue. *small grin*
Buffy: You wanna talk about it?
Spike: *sighs* I want the lump in my throat and the knawing pain in my stomach to go away. And I don't think you'd really want to hear anything I want to say.
Buffy: Oh. Ok. *looks away for a minute and swallows* You sure you don't want me to leave?
Spike: *looks up suddenly* No! *clears throat* That is... I really don't want to be alone, luv. *winces* I just realized how utterly pathetic I sound.
Buffy: *shrugs* I just figured, maybe you can find someone you DO want to talk to.
Spike: Luv, I DO want to talk to you.. Just not about this. I think I'm gonna stick this in my barrel.
Buffy: barrel?
Buffy: You just guessed the hangman, didn't you?
Spike: The place I stuff everything I'm promising myself I'm never gonna think about. It's in the faaar back of my mind. And yes, I did.
Buffy: Did you laugh?
Buffy: You should have laughed...you of ALL people should have laughed
Spike: Still am.. a little.
Spike: 'barrel of dead monkeys'? Who said that, anyway?
Buffy: Lawyer at Wolfram and heart. The full quote is:
"How's ANgel these days?" And Lindsay says, "Angel? He's good, he's bad. He's up, he's down. He's a barrel of dead monkeys..."
Spike: *laughs softly* I think I like that guy.
Buffy: lawyer at a demon law firm. *grins and shakes head* You would.
Spike: *leans back on the couch a little* I'm startin' to feel better.
Buffy: *glances at his lap and bites lip, but just leans back next to him* Good.
Spike: *smiles softly* Come on.
Spike: *holds arms open*
Buffy: *Looks down at her hands in her lap and shakes head* You're upset. I don't wanna impose...presume...one of those words. *shrugs* It's something like that.
Spike: I think it's impose, and you're not, luv. I want to hold you... *smiles slightly* I need cuddles to make me feel better. Your puppy, remember?
Buffy: *peaks at him* I thought I was the puppy, because I liked being petted. Make up your mind!
Spike: *smiles*Okay, you're the puppy, and I"m the kitty, cause I purr.
Spike: And I like bein' petted, too. *small grin*
Buffy: *doesn't look up but starts to smirk* You aren't really smiling over there. *looks up at him and raises an eyebrow* Ibet I could fix that...*eye focus on his toes*
Spike: *eyes widen* Now, luv.. wait a minute...
Buffy: *smiles innocently* But, you're upset. And I wanna cheer you up. And, it would. Cheer you up, that is...*starts to inch closer*
Spike: *squirms backwards slowly, a small grin finding it's way forward* Luv... now... c'mon, here... Thought last night, you said no ticklin'... *still grinning slightly*
Buffy: *crawls closer, mock stalker-like* But that was becuase Dawn was gonna be home. And now she isn't*
Spike: *bumps the arm of the couch* Oof. Uh oh...
Spike: *to himself* At least I'm wearin' a shirt tonight...
Buffy: *giggles* You won't be for long...
Spike: No... Buffy.. luv... *grins* C'mon..
Buffy: *pounces on him, sliding her hands under his shirt to tickle his stomach*
Spike: *yelps, laughs loudly* AaHAA! No! *squealing giggles*
Buffy: *straddles him and moves her hands to the sides, leaning her forehead against his* You have to admit, you are smiling...
Spike: *squirms desperatly beneath her, giggling helplessly* Yeeaaah... But.. Eep!
Buffy: But? There should be no but there...*slids to the floor and captures his foot in one fluid motion, starting on the toes of this left foot while holding his ankle.* *Glares up at him* There should be NO but there, unless it's the cute one behind you.
Spike: *squeals loudly* Okay!! Okay!! No BUT!! *jerks on his foot desperatly*
Buffy: *grins up and him and starts on the bottom of the foot* Did I mention last night that you have the cutest feet?
Spike: *gives up jerking and starts twisting uselessly, still giggling* YEAAAHHH!!
Buffy: *Still grinning, slips her hands under his pant leg and starts on the ankle and calf* Good, Because they are,
Spike: *screeches* BuffYYYYYY!! DOOONNN'TTT!!!
Buffy: *innocently smiles* But, I haven't done this part before. *tickles up a little and then comes back down the the ankle, making a kind of circle, front to back.
Buffy: *
Spike: *grabs the back cushion of the couch desperatly, squeezing it to keep from jerking his leg* *wave of giggles* QUIT IT THEEERREEE!!
Buffy: *raises an eyebrow and lets go with one hand to hold the leg still, sliding the other up to get at the back of his knee* How about there?
Spike: *jumps, giggles and squirms, making a high pitched trilling squeak in lue of talking*
Buffy: *grins and giggles* Sorry, what was that?
Spike: *makes the sound again, trying to bend his knees, eyes closed, laughing*
Buffy: *bounces on her knees a little, a dissapointed frown on her face* I still don't know what you said! *starts to tickle the ankle with her other hand*
Spike: *gasps in a deep breath* Said... Knees're... a EEAAH! Weak SPOT!
Buffy: *giggles* Oh. *stops tickling and grins up at him* Feeling better? Or should I keep going? *tickles the knee again for a second*
Spike: *grins, giggling quietly* If you do... keep goin'... get away from there...
Buffy: *puts on a full pout* But I like this spot. *tickles it again*
Spike: *yelps* Yeah.. Well.. I kinda.. do, too.. But... s'not my favorite. *chuckles a little*
Buffy: *keeps pouting but lets go, sitting back on her heels* FIne.
Spike: *pants, small smile* Did I.. say you had to.. stop? *grins*
Buffy: *shrugs, but still doesn't let the pout drop* You didn't like my spot.
Spike: *grins* I do like it. Not as much as others, though, see? *chuckles* I can't believe I'm layin' here, discussin' where I like to be tickled with the Slayer... *small head shake, chuckles*
Buffy: Well, now I don't wanna tickle you anymore. So there. *turns and sits on the floor with her back to the couch, stretching her legs out in front of her*
Spike: *slides off the couch to sit beside her, staring in the same general direction that she is, after a moment, whispers conspiritorily* So.. what are we starin' at?
Buffy: *sends him a dark look and looks down at her hands*
Spike: *gently puts one arm around her shoulders* Luv, c'mon. I was just playin' again. Really.
Buffy: *shakes his arm off and stands up, heading for the stairs and avoiding his eyes* I'm gonna change. Patrol was killer on this skirt, and I'm getting cold again.
Spike: *small sigh, gets up, follows her up the stairs* Luv... what're you mad at me for now?
Buffy: *calls behind her* I'm not. Why do you think I'm mad? *goes into her room, but leaves the door partialy open and slids out of her skirt, making a face. it's ruined.*
Spike: *small sigh* Because you don't want me to touch you, and you got up and left, and you won't look me in the eyes, and I'm confused. Cause a minute ago, I thought you were havin' fun.
Buffy: I was. *takes off her shirt and starts to dig through a pile of clothes on a chair for something*
Spike: *leans against the wall next to the door* Then what happened?
Buffy: Nothing. Nothing happened. *pulls a red shirt from the pile and puts it on, grabbing a new pair of jeans from a bag, with little puppies around the cuffs, with spiked collars*
Spike: Then what... *shakes head* Okay. Now. I mean it this time. I have given up understandin' you.
Buffy: *opens the door and looks down at him, buttoning up his shirt* Thought you did that already? *brushes past him and starts back down the stairs*
Spike: *follows her* Luv... c'mon. Tell me what's goin' on now. Cause, I'm feelin' really confused, and that's kinda overriding the happy feelin's from a minute ago.
Buffy: *Curls up on the couch and starts to fiddle with the cuff of the shirt, grabbing the tv clicker and tossing it to him when he comes in the room* You pick what we watch. *fixes her gaze on the TV*
Spike: *sits at the other end of the couch* Okay, let me get this straight. You're not mad at me, but you don't want to be over here with me... why?
Buffy: I didn't say that.
Spike: *blinks, turns off the TV, sets the remote down, and turns to face her* Then what ARE you sayin'?
Buffy: So far, I haven't said anything that I can think of.
Spike: I meant with... body language and stuff.. *small grin* Nice jeans, by the way.
Buffy: *tiny smirk* Thanks. They were in the story window, and they kinda...called me.
Spike: *smiles* They look good, luv. Really.. And I like the puppies.
Buffy: *studies her hands in her lap* Spiked collars. *bits lip*
Spike: *small grin* I noticed, but didn't want to bring it up, after what happened when I insinuated somethin' similar the other night.
Buffy: It was last night.
Spike: I know that.
Spike: *small sigh* So, want to tell me what's wrong now?
Buffy: Nothing. *starts playing with the shirt cuff again* Dawn tried to steal this shirt last night. I had to go into her room to get it back.
Spike: *cocks his head, slides a little closer* Really. Huh. You know, you need to start lockin' your closet.
Buffy: *shakes head* it wasn't in my closet. I was taking a shower, and it was on my bed. *shifts a little, snugling into it more and pulling both cuffs over her hands* I slept in it.
Spike: *smiles, moves a little closer* Comfy?
Buffy: *nods*
Spike: *is right next to her, goes to put his arm around her* Good. You know, my stuff is your stuff. You can take any of my shirts you want.
Buffy: *nods again* She was wearing it. I threatened to cut off all phone priveleges if she didn't give it back. She ended up stealing another of Angel's later on.
Spike: *pulls her to him slowly* Well, then everyone's happy...
Buffy: *holds herself stiffly, fighting the urge to snuggle into him* She tried to take it again this morning, though. I actually took the phone out of her room. She doesn't even know where it's from, she just wants it. That's probably why she was so anxious to get out of the house tonight. No phone.
Spike: *pulls his arm back and moves away* Oh. Okay. *moves back to the other end of the couch, pulling his legs up onto the couch and curling up in a similar position to her, is depressed*
Buffy: *whispers* You didn't have to let go.
Spike: *glances over at her* You don't want me holdin' you. You're all.. rigid. It's like tryin' to snuggle a board, luv... I don't know why you're mad at me, and my stomach is tied in knots.
Buffy: I'm NOT mad.
Buffy: I'm not. And I'm not that rigid. *peaks at him* Am I?
Spike: *blinks sadly* Well, in comparison to the last couple of nights, yeah.
Buffy: Sorry. *shifts again and winces* Had a rough night. I didn't mean to take it out on you.
Spike: *tenitively moves closer again* Want to talk about it?
Buffy: *shakes head violently and winces again*
Spike: Whoa... easy luv... *moves right next to her* Hurt your neck?
Buffy: *shrugs* Only in the technical sense of the word.
Spike: *small smile* Want a neck rub?
Spike: *grins* Or, you could just stretch out, and let me try my hands at a full back massage.
Buffy: *eyes widen* NO. No. That's just a bad idea.
Spike: *blinks* Okay...
Buffy: *shifts a little and trys to bring the collar up a bit* Sorry. Just hurts, is all.
Spike: *sighs* It's okay. *leans back next to her* I'll settle for bein' in the same room... *sounds.. confused, dejected, and a little sad*
Buffy: *nods again and winces, tugging the collar up again*
Spike: *sniffs* Buffy.. are you bleedin'?
Buffy: *eyes widen* No.
Spike: Cause, I smell Slayer blood... *eyes widen, growls* Where is it?*ground out*
Buffy: I'm not bleeding. *scoots a little farther into the corner of the couch*
Spike: *growls* Where. Is. The. Vamp. That. Bit. You? I see the wound, Buffy. I smell the blood, and I DON'T smell dust.
Buffy: *quietly* It got away.
Spike: *is still growling* Let me see.
Buffy: *shakes head and winces again* No.
Spike: Buffy... Let. Me. See.
Buffy: *quietly* No. It's fine.
Spike: Shake your head, and don't wince, then.
Spike: I want to take care of you, Buffy. Let me help.
Buffy: *swallows and shakes her head, trying to suppress the wince and whimpers*
Spike: *moves to her side and grips her shoulder, not hard enough to hurt, but hard enough to hold her* I'm gonna look at it, whether you want me to or not, Slayer. So do yourself a favor and hold still. *almost winces at his own tone*
Buffy: *swallows but doesn't say anything*
Spike: *reaches with his other hand to pull the collar away from her neck, eyes widen at the sight of the fresh bite* Bloody hell... *growls* I'm getting the first aid kit.
Buffy: *looks down at her hands but doesn't really move, shifting to pull a leg underneath her.*
Spike: *retrieves the kit and comes back* Cock your head. *sits next to her*
Buffy: *swallows again and cocks head, staring straight ahead*
Spike: *begins working on the wound, cleaning it carefully* What did it look like? Clothes, any distinctive marks? Stronger than normal?
Buffy: *quietly* I don't want to talk about it.
Spike: *growls* Well, too bad, Slayer. Cause I do. I can't kill something when I don't know what it looks like... and I"m gonna kill this... I'm gonna tear it apart. *has vamped without realizing it*
Buffy: *still whispering* You can't kill her. She's dust already.
Spike: You said it got away, a minute ago. *soft growl, contrary to his demeanor, is being very gentle with his bandaging*
Buffy: It did. From me. But I was...I was told she got staked.
Spike: *freezes*
Buffy: *closes eyes* Spike?
Spike: *very quietly* What?
Buffy: *looks down* Nevermind. It's not important. *swallows* Are you almost finished?
Spike: *shakes head, goes back to bandaging* Yeah... almost. And I don't care if it's important or not. Tell me. Right now, I'm not in the mood to take no for an answer.
Buffy: I didn't stake her.
Spike: I know. Aaron did. *finishes bandaging* Why's that botherin' you? *begins putting the kit back together*
Buffy: It's not. Just forget it.
Spike: I can't. Buffy, why didn't you? *puts the kit on the coffee table* *quietly* I think I know why, but tell me anyway.
Buffy: She was crying.
Spike: *blinks* What? Why?
Buffy: *shrugs* Said she could taste you in me. *swallows* That's why she stopped drinking. Which is probably good, because I think she used whatever that hypno thing is on me. I couldn't stop her.
Spike: *starts shaking slightly, still growling softly* A thrall. She had you in a thrall.... But.. why didn't you stake afterwards? You didn't lose much blood.
Buffy: *swallows again and whispers* I didn't want you to get mad at me...and I know how hard it is to lose a Sire. I went through that with Angel.
Spike: *looks at her* What do you think would hurt more, Buffy? Losin' Dru, or you? Cause, to me, the answer is pretty damn obvious. *clenches and unclenches his fists, trembling and growling low* That bitch... that she'd even come after you.... I wish I could bring her back so *I* could kill her....
Spike: *mutters* And a stake'd be too easy...
Buffy: *peaks at him* She was your sire. I...*shakes head and winces again* I couldn't do that. I couldn't do it to Angel the second time, even, when I heard Darla was back.
Spike: *growling mutters, glances at her* Have just decided that I'm not askin'. Buffy, a vamp is a vamp. Related to me or not, you're the Slayer. This is what you do. You wouldn't have let Harmony walk away, would you?
Buffy: *rolls eyes* Are you kidding? I almost staked her a few times when she was still human.
Spike: *snorts* I DID stake her once.
Spike: But,she was wearin' the Gem of Amara,so.. that didn't work out quite as I'd hoped.
Buffy: Pity
Spike: Tell me 'bout it... *grumbles* Last I heard from 'er, she was headed for LA. Peaches problem now.
Buffy: Been there, came back.
Spike: *groans, rests his vamped face in his hands, muttering* Oh, bloody wonderful...
Buffy: *looks down* Said something about Darla's scent on Angel.
Spike: *glances over at her* Darla's the queen bitch, luv. It'd only make sense that she'd try and get to Peaches. I don't think he'd take her, though... I mean, he's a... not finishing that, but anyway, he's not stupid.
Buffy: *whispers* He got her pregnant.
Spike: *wide golden eyes, shocked growl* I take it back. He IS stupid... Wait a minute.. If he, and then.... Is Angelus loose?
Buffy: No.
Buffy: And she's dust again. Wesley said...*swallows* He said she staked herself for the baby.
Buffy: *sniffles and keeps whispering* He didn't bother to tell me. I got..I got a call from Wesley, and it slipped out.
Spike: *moves closer without thinking, pulls her into his arms* Oh, Buffy... I didn't know... *nuzzles her a little* I'm sorry...
Buffy: *shrugs* Doesn't matter. Just...I couldn't kill Darla when I heard about it. How could you expect me to kill Dru?
Spike: *small sigh* I don't... I expected me to do it, if it ever came to that, to tell you the truth... I kind of wanted to be the one... That's why I was feelin' sick earlier, cause, it hurts, but I'm almost... jealous of Aaron... And that got me feelin' sick, cause the two emotions are... not meant to be there at once.
Buffy: *absently rubs her neck* I'm sorry.
Spike: No. Don't be. *nuzzles her gently, vamped features finally sliding back to normal* Honestly, luv.. I'm so relieved that you're alright, everythin' else is gone.
Buffy: *swallows and looks away, but nods.* I'm fine.
Spike: Do you.. do you want ME to leave?*quietly*
Buffy: No.
Buffy: I really don't
Spike: *nuzzles his nose in her hair* Good. Cause I don't want to.
Buffy: *swallows again and pulls away to reach for the remote* WHat do you want to watch?
Spike: *sighs, lets her get the remote, then gives a small shrug* Nothing sad. And nothing too exciting... I have no clue.
Buffy: *curls back up into the corner, wincing again and tosses the remote at him* You pick.
Spike: *catches it, absently flipping through channels* There's more botherin' you, isn't there? And don't say 'no', cause we both know it's not true. I'm not mad at you, if that's what you're worried about.
Buffy: I know that.
Buffy: *shakes head* There's nothing bothering me.
Spike: *sighs* Then why did you pull away from me again?
Buffy: *mumbles* It hurts.
Spike: *cocks head* The bite?
Buffy: *shakes head*
Spike: *blinks at her* It... hurts.. for me to touch you. Why...?
Buffy: *still mumbling* The scratches hurt
Spike: Scratches... *eyes flash gold again* She CLAWED you!? *growls*
Spike: Let me see.
Buffy: It's fine. It'll be healed by morning.
Spike: I don't care. I want to see it now.
Buffy: *mumbles again* There are too many, Spike.
Spike: *is at her side again faster than she can blink* Then start with one, move on to the next, and repeat until we're done. *small, pained growl* God. This is my fault. I know she had to have come back for me... I shoulda killed that bitch two years ago...
Buffy: Spike, they're on my...it's not a good idea.
Spike: Finish that first sentence.
Buffy: *sighs and eyes flash* Fine. They're on my ass and breasts, ok? She didn't like that she smelled you on me. They're all over. In front, too.
Buffy: *glares* happy? *turns away and closes eyes*
Spike: *blinks twice* God... *gets up with a roar and throws the closed first aid kit across the room, snarling loudly* BITCH!! Blood fuckin' BITCH!! *breathing so fast he sounds like a snorting bull* How DARE she..... *roars again, punches the wall, making a dent, begins pacing rapidly back and forth from the stairs to the kitchen door and back again, growling and muttering under his breath*
Buffy: *shrinks farther into the couch and mumbles again* She was screaming about touching what was hers.
Spike: *growls loudly* Funny, I'm bloody screamin' about HER touchin' what's MINE.... *rakes his fingers through his hair as he paces, licks his fangs absently*
Buffy: Said she made you and that you're hers. *looks up at him and winces, rubbing her neck* Can you stop pacing? You're making me dizzy.
Spike: *pauses almost in mid step near the kitchen door, stands there, clenching and unclenching his fists, snarling* News flash to the insane... She bloody broke up with ME. She was CHEATING on me. Had been for YEARS!! *roaring growl for a moment, takes deep breaths to calm himself* Bleedin' bint... wouldn't know inside from out if it wasn't for me...
Buffy: *looks down and closes eyes* When you're done, you let me know.
Spike: *closes his eyes, takes forced deep breaths, slowly regains human features, starts shaking slightly, leans against the wall for support* *very quietly* I'm.. done. I think... *shudders a little, wraps his arms around himself*
Buffy: You sure?
Spike: *small nod* *quietly* Yeah... two down, three to go.
Buffy: *frowns* What?
Spike: *pushes against the wall* Stages... stages of mournin'... Denial, anger, bargaining, dispair, acceptance. Two down, three to go.
Buffy: *whispers* Right. Because you're mourning. OK. *swallows and gets up, wincing a little* I'm gonna go get something to drink.
Spike: *moves to follow her* Can I come? Luv, I'm sorry.. I really am pissed, and I really do want to help you... But you won't let me... This isn't easy... But you know that, don't you? I shouldn't be tellin' you stuff you already know. *sighs, pushes against the wall again, makes a quiet sound*
Buffy: No. I got it. *flashes a weak smile and heads for the kitchen*
Buffy: *Leans on the counter in the kitchen and sighs. After a minute, lifts the bottom hem of the shirt and looks at the red scratches on her stomach*
Spike: *ducks his head, turns around so that he's facing into the kitchen* *quietly* I have scars from her, you know... Not just the one on my neck... *motions at where her shirt is pulled up* She musta been really upset, or else she woulda gutted you with that one... *winces* M'not helpin', am I?
Buffy: *head jerks up in surprise and eyes widen* You weren't going to follow me. *drops the shirt down and turns her back, opening the fridge and staring inside*
Spike: *small shrug* I.. didn't follow, really. I.. turned 'round. Just have good eyesight. And a good sense of smell. Buffy... would you let me help?
Buffy: Help with what? There's nothing to help. THESE *motions to her stomach* don't really hurt, anyway.
Spike: *quietly* Which ones hurt the worst?
Buffy: *shakes head and chooses a singer-serving bottle of juice* Doesn't matter. They'll be better in the morning. *closes the fridge but doesn't turn around, opening the juice*
Spike: *takes a couple of steps into the kitchen* It matters to me...
Buffy: *turns around and looks at him pointedly* Spike, some of them are on some sensitive skin. And some are...*swallows, closes eyes and whispers* some are inside, ok? So, they hurt.
Spike: *just stands there, looking like he's torn between going into another rage and breaking down in tears* *very quietly* Buffy... I'm so sorry..... I felt like I should've gone with you tonight.... I know I should've been there...
Buffy: *laughs soflty* Three weeks ago, you were seeing things. You are hardley in any state to go patroling with me.
Spike: Still.. I coulda distracted her... I coulda staked her... And, the things I was seeing? They were real, mostly. You know that now. *pushes sideways against the wall again*
Buffy: I know. BUt that doesn't mean you're in any shape to go out. Not emotionaly. And you know it. And I'll be better in the morning.
Spike: *doesn't say anything, studies the kitchen floor and pushes on the wall again, making a very soft sound, almost a whimper*
Buffy: *whispers* I'm gonna go sit back down now, ok? *avoids brushing him as she passes and goes back to the living room*
Spike: *turns around again, so that he's in the same position as before, facing into the living room* *quietly* Are you sure you want me here?
Buffy: Yeah. Just be careful when you touch me.
Buffy: *swallows* I definitly want you here. *glances at him nervously* Unless you don't want to me.
Buffy: to be.
Spike: *looks up* I want to be, luv... I didn't think you'd want me here... M'kinda a reminder, aren't I? *tenitively moves into the living room, slowly sitting on the midsection of the couch*
Buffy: *laughs softly again* That's actually what I was thinking about me
Spike: *very small almost smile* Well, then. I guess we're both wrong... Right?
Buffy: *glances at him* Yeah. *fiddles with the shirt cuff again* She slashed through the other jeans. The ones with the railroad tracks.
Spike: *quietly* I'll get you new ones.
Buffy: *motions to the jeans she's wearing* They didn't have any more. Hence, these
Spike: *cocks head* Well, I do like these. The puppies are nice... *reaches out and gently strokes her hair* Any wounds up here?
Buffy: *shakes head* Not really.
Spike: *moves a little closer, continues tenderly stroking her hair* Would you like something for pain? I have pills in my pocket again.
Buffy: *swallows* I've already taken some.
Spike: *winces* I'm so sorry, luv... I don't know what else to say.
Buffy: *shrugs* It's not your fault. I just...I didn't want you to know about them. *swallows and whispers* I couldn't even fight her. It was pathetic.
Spike: *small shrug* She had you in a thrall, Buffy... There *is* no fighting... Did you know that it can be done to other vamps, too?
Buffy: *mumbles* She didn't. Not when she was...the thrall stopped when she stopped drinking.
Spike: *blinks* Then.. it was the bloodloss.
Buffy: *shakes head* You said it yourself, she didn't take that much.
Spike: I.. I don't understand, then. What...
Buffy: I just couldn't fight her. I don't know why.
Spike: *looks at the coffee table quietly* Maybe she had you in a thrall still, and you just didn't think you were... *tone of voice says he KNOWS he's grasping at straws*
Buffy: *sighs and pulls away* We both know that's not true. If you're disgusted with me, you can just say so.
Spike: M'not disgusted... just.. confused.
Buffy: *shrugs and looks away* I couldn't fight her. She kept...*bites lip and mumbles to herself* I did NOT almost just say that.
Spike: *glances at her* She kept.. what, Buffy?
Buffy: *mumbles* She kept talking about what you...the two of you, together...*shrugs* SHe kept talking.
Spike: *closes eyes tightly* God.. you're the one who should be disgusted, Buffy... *leans forward, puts his elbows on his knees and pushes his palm against his forehead*
Buffy: *frowns* Spike, I knew you had lovers before me. *winces* Can we change the subject?
Spike: *small snort* How 'bout them Razorbacks? *semi-sarcastically*
Buffy: *glares* You're not helping.
Spike: *sighs* Sorry... M'sorry... I feel.. mixed up.. and I don't know what to do.
Buffy: *very quietly* Do you really love me?
Buffy: *focuses on her hands and bites lip*
Spike: *looks at her, total shock on his face* Buffy... You know I love you... I love you more than anything, or anyone, ever... I do. I.. I thought you knew that.
Buffy: *still whispering* She said...she said you'd never love me. That she knew you better than anyone, and you could never love the killer of your own kind...*swallows*
Buffy: *looks up at him, frowning, trying not to cry* Have you just been playing with me?
Buffy: Is this...were you just doing what Angelus said to? *shifts into a sarcastic voice* 'To kill this girl, you gotta love her'
Spike: *blinks, mouth slightly open* My god.. Buffy, no. I would never... *certainty in his voice* I love *you*. I have loved you, probably since I first saw you, but was just to bleedin' blind to see it. *blinks back tears* I would never, ever .... You.. don't believe me.. do you? *is trembling slightly*
Spike: Buffy... I got a soul for you.. Knowing what it would do.. Knowing that it could very well kill me... I wanted to be what you deserved... And I fought, and I won... But I'm still fighting. Every time I fall asleep, it's a fight. I see faces I never even knew I'd noticed. Remember names I didn't know existed... Every night I'm haunted... And I accept that, if it means that you can love me.
Spike: If it means.. that you can let *me* love *you*... *turns his head away, sniffles once, wipes at his eyes*
Buffy: *looks down at her hands* You were with her a really long time. *swallows* She didn't seem...she seemed really sure. And..*swallows again, curling her legs closer and wincing slightly* you've...the last few days...*takes a deep breath* you're holding back. A lot. And she...she really seemed...you were with her a really long time, Spike. The two of you. Together.
Buffy: I know I really don't compare to all that expirience.
Buffy: *bites lip and starts buttoning and un-buttoning her sleeve cuff, hugging the shirt close*
Spike: *takes in a deep breath, turning to face her, slowly captures her hands in his, holding them midway between them* Buffy.. I love you.. I meant it when I said that you're incredible. Let me put it this way... I was with Dru for over a century, true. In that time, how many poems do you think I wrote about her? Give me a guess.
Buffy: *shrugs and stares at their hands*
Spike: None.
Buffy: *quietly* oh.
Spike: I never wrote her one. And, in the time I've known you? Even when we were fighting? Buffy, you've got volumes devoted to you, and you alone.
Buffy: *swallows and meets his eyes* Angelus drew me. A lot. You sure I wasn't just some deep obsesion?
Spike: *nods* I'm sure.. You want to know the truth, Buffy? I didn't love Dru. I thought I did, but I didn't. She was... quite literally, a rebound for me. I'd just been pushed away by the girl that I'd had a crush on for my... whole life, almost, and I ran into her. I died that night, Buffy. And I stayed dead, inside, until I saw you.
Spike: You've brought out deeper feelings in me than I was ever supposed to be capable of. I've never hated someone with the passion that I did you. The other Slayers, they were almost a hobby... You, you were a grudge match.
Spike: And now, Buffy, I've never loved someone enough to risk my existence for them.
Spike: I've never loved someone so much that I'd withstand torture for them, just for the possibility that they might have a few more days of happiness.
Spike: And I have never, ever, loved someone enough to be happy to give my life for them. And I very nearly have for you, luv. Once at the tower... repeated a thousand different times in my dreams, and again when I risked the soul.
Spike: Did you know that it was highly possible that I would dust upon recieving it?
Spike: My body was so battered and broken, it's almost a miracle that I survived the restoration.
Buffy: Ok, you have to stop now. *frees a hand and presses her fingers against his lips* Stop.
Spike: *is blinking, even though several tears have already escaped*
Buffy: *sniffles and ignores the full out tears streaming down her cheeks* If you don't stop...you have to stop. *scoots closer and winces, then laughs wryly* I wanna hold you, but...
Spike: *small nod, brings a hand up to wipe at her cheeks extremely gently* I know... it's okay...
Buffy: *shakes head, wincing again* It's really not. I really, really want to hold you, and I want you to hold me, but it hurts when I walk, even, and....*sniffles and looks away, embarresed* I'm sorry.
Spike: *sniffs a little* S'ok... Are there... many on your back? And you can't be embarrassed about cryin', if I am too.
Buffy: I'm not embbaressed about crying. *sniffles* and yeah. They're pretty much everywhere.
Spike: *quietly* Do you... Do you think you could lean back against me, without it hurtin' too much? M'tryin' to find somethin' that works.
Buffy: *swallows* I don't know. I don't know if they're even still bleeding.
Spike: *sniffs a little* I.. don't smell any fresh blood... not on your back, anyway.. *winces* Do you... Would you like to go upstairs and lie down? Maybe that'd help a little. I could sit by the bed.
Buffy: *shakes head* No. *looks at him and frowns* Where do you smell the blood? *touches the bandage at her neck* This is dry....oh. *looks down and closes her eyes.* Yeah. Those, uhm...were bleeding earlier. I jsut thought I was early or something, but then they started to sting...*swallows* They should...uhm, they should be closed by morning, I think. If I don't move around too much, I guess.
Buffy: I don't really have a lot of expirience with this kind of...wound.
Spike: *small nod* Yeah... Me neither, obviously. I could carry you upstairs, and then we could practice bein' really still for the rest of the night.
Buffy: *shakes head* I don't want to go upstairs. Plus, I have to change the sheets before I go to bed anyway. I sat down on the bed when I came home, and didn't realize...
Spike: *winces* God... I'm havin' that 'want to kill something' feeling again... *attempted grin* Do you have Harris' phone number around somewhere? I want to invite him over for dinner. *attempted levity falls short*
Buffy: *smiles a little* Ha ha.
Spike: Well, at least I'm tryin'... *small shrug* Don't really wanna eat him, anyway.
Buffy: *nods* ok.
Spike: *concerned* You know.. I could run to the store... get.. I don't know. Ointment, or something... Do you want anything?
Buffy: *curls her leg under her and winces again* Do you think if you hold me, you could just be careful?
Buffy: *shakes her head* I don't think there's any ointment for cuts there.
Buffy: It's more likley to just get them infected.
Spike: *sighs* Hmm.
Spike: I can be careful.
Spike: You said.. the ones on your stomach don't hurt that much... Maybe you could lay on top of me, like you were last night... could that work? Or would movin' be too painful?
Buffy: *whispers* I'd really rather not move again...I think I'm opening them up. Couldn't you just... *sighs* Wow. I sound seriously pathetic.
Spike: *small smile* I'm pretty sure I did a little while ago... What were you gonna ask?
Buffy: Can you just hold me?
Spike: *small nod, carefully puts his arms around her, nuzzles against her hair softly* It'll be okay, you know... You're gonna be good as new...
Buffy: *sighs and lets him hold her, resisting the urge to snuggle closer* *starts to cry again and scowls at herself*
Spike: *releases her with one hand to use the sleeve of his shirt to wipe her face gently* Shhh... *lightly kisses her temple*
Spike: Luv.. Do you, do you think it'd be okay for me to purr, or would that hurt you?
Buffy: *frowns* I don't know. The purr itself...I don't think it would hurt, but..*looks at him, slightly scared* Do you think it would hurt if it..I mean, if I got...
Spike: *an almost grimace* I really don't know, luv... That's why I was askin'... *nuzzles her* I don't wanna risk hurtin' you... I almost feel like it's me that's been all scratched up... Every time you wince, I swear I feel it...
Buffy: *looks down and mumbles* Sorry.
Spike: S'not your fault, luv... In fact, I'm glad for it. Do you know what it means, that this is happenin' to me?
Buffy: *sighs and stares at her hands* That I'm hurting you?
Spike: No... well, yeah. In a way. It means that... Well, that I've.. bonded, to you.
Buffy: *head snaps up* What? When? Where was I? I'm supposed to know! *starts getting angry* NO, not you too. I am NOT going to find out after the fact, TWICE, that I'm married. You have NOT bonded to me yet, do you understand me? Angel didn't tell me for months. If you're gonna bond, I wanna know WHEN IT HAPPENS, do you hear me? I am not missing my wedding, TWICE!
Spike: *closes his eyes, fights back a small chuckle* Not that bond, luv... The precurser to that one.
Spike: Kind of an... engagement.
Spike: *winces* And I don't know when it happened, I kind of just figured it out... S'never happened before.
Buffy: *sacrasctically* Oh, well, that's just SO much better. I missed my proposal. Well! Lucky me we aren't mated yet, with, with a blood bond! I should consider myself fortunate for not having missed that part! *glares for another minute, then turns away, huffing*
Spike: *starts trembling slightly* Buffy... I didn't know, either.. till just right now... I've never done this before... I don't even know how it works... Didn't exactly have people who would tell me about these things, you know... With the pack I was in, it's a wonder I even know how to feed. They're not big on explainations... And I was happy about this a second ago.
Buffy: *sighs* I'm happy, too, Spike. I just...I missed all the steps with Angel. We were blood-bonded, you know. It broke when I died this last time, hence the meeting, to decide if we wanted to rebond, which was a no, by the way. Though...we're still linked. It's just that we've moved past.
Buffy: I just don't want to miss it all again, and then, AGAIN, wake up one day, mated and married, with no idea of when it happened.
Buffy: I want to remember getting married, you know? It's not that much to ask.
Spike: *nods* *quietly* You know, when I was human, and you were gonna ask a girl to marry you, you were supposed to do it in writing...
Spike: And I've never bitten you... No blood bond.
Buffy: *raises an eyebrow* Yes, you have.
Spike: *blinks* I have?
Spike: Oh.
Buffy: *looks hurt* A couple of times. *swallows* You...don't...*turns away and bites lip to keep from crying again*
Spike: *resists the urge to tighten his arms around her, nuzzles her* I do remember, Buffy... Vividly.. But that wasn't the right kind of bite for a blood bond... I think. Like I said, don't really know all that much about this technical stuff.
Spike: And, if we did have a blood bond from that, I would've started feeling this connection a year ago... Which tells me that... *blinks* That I did something wrong.
Spike: *blinks again, several times* Knew I'd do somethin' like that. Shows you how much I know, luv. I'm a blood bond virgin. *small sigh* And have no clue what I'm doin'.
Buffy: *mumbles* You have to hold the bite until I...uhm...*sighs* You have to make me come from the bite alone. Not neccesarily drain me, like Angel did, though that was a special circumstance...
Spike: *glances down at his jeans* Oh... So that's what I'm doin' wrong... *blinks* And it is extremely embarrassin' that I'm havin' to learn this from a vampire Slayer... *sighs*
Buffy: *shrugs* Why? It's not like Angel told ME...I found out from my watcher. Giles wanted to know why the bite wasn't fading, and then he started looking at me funny...and then he asked if I came when Angel bit me. Which was not something I wanted to discuss with him.
Spike: *winces* Oh shit. I can not even imagine talkin' to Rupert about this stuff... *sighs* I'm startin' to regret that I waved off Angelus when he offered the 'facts of unlife' talk.
Buffy: *nods* He knew he was doing it, he told me. Later. On...that day. He wanted to protect me when he wasn't here, since he was leaving, and he was hoping that the connection would help.
Buffy: But it was NOT something I wanted to talk to Giles about. Ever. Willow doesn't even know.
Spike: *sighs again* Well. Guess you really do learn somethin' new each day. *small grin* Know anythin' else 'bout vamp matin' habits that I might need, luv?
Buffy: *shrugs* Like what?
Spike: Dunno. You seem to be the expert, here. *small grin* And you were worried about somethin' similar the other day, I see. How does it feel to have the tables turned? Now I'm the one needin' validation. *sighs*
Buffy: *shifts a little and winces* Can we talk about something else, please?
Buffy: *looks longingly at his chest and sighs, resisting the urge to snuggle in again.*
Spike: *starts stroking her hair again* Okay... If you're hurtin' so bad... why'd you pounce me earlier? That couldn't have felt good to you, luv.
Buffy: *sighs* hence the leaving and changing. It didn't hurt as much before. I guess I opened some of the cuts up.
Spike: *winces* I'm sorry...
Buffy: *shrugs* Not your fault
Spike: I know... I just feel like it is. *small snort* Bloody soul again.
Spike: I've got an idea.
Spike: Why don't we finish the game we started last night?
Spike: I've got about two hours before Tiger's gonna make me leave.
Buffy: *bites lip* We can't just...*sighs* ok. You ask first.
Spike: No. Finish what you were gonna say, luv.
Buffy: *shakes head, ignoreing the pain.* Ask.
Spike: *sighs* Alright. Here's an easy one. You know I love you, right?
Buffy: *quietly* Yeah.
Spike: *small nod* Good. Your turn.
Buffy: Oh. *sighs and bites lip. Looks up at him aAfter a second looks up him*
Buffy: can I sit in your lap?
Spike: *smiles* If you don't think it'd hurt too much... I'd love for you to.
Spike: Need help?
Buffy: *grimaces and nods* Yeah, I think so.
Spike: *carefully helps her into his lap, hopefully with minimal pain* Easy.. slowly, luv... That's it.
Buffy: *winces once but sighs once she's there and hums, nuzzling a cheek into his chest* Thank you.
Spike: *rests his chin on her head* S'ok... *keeps his arms loosly around her* Was that your question, though? Or do you not feel like playin' anymore?
Buffy: That was my question
Spike: Ah. Okay.. Lemme think.
Spike: Does Harris annoy you at all?
Buffy: *smiles a little* Sometimes. But he makes me laugh more, and that's rare in my proffesion.
Spike: *small nod* Been doin' a little more of it lately, though. *soft smile*
Buffy: *forgets and snuggles closer, then winces and ducks head* Yeah.
Spike: *nuzzles her gently, purrs very quietly* Your question.
Buffy: oh
Spike: *swallows, stops purring* Oops. Sorry.
Buffy: *bites lip and wince, takes a deep breath* Yeah. Uhm...do I hae to ask a question?
Spike: If you want to stop playin', no.
Spike: I'm okay with just sittin' here, if that's what you want to do, luv.
Buffy: *nods and nuzzles in* Yeah. Is that ok?
Spike: *small nod* Okay. We can just stay like this.. Would it bother you if I lean back a bit? M'gettin' a bit of a cramp in my back sittin'up straight like this. Just be about an inch of difference.
Spike: I won't do it if you don't want me to.
Buffy: *closes eyes* Can we go upstairs? We can just pull the sheets off, I guess...*swallows* I don't really wanna move around enough to change them.
Spike: *small nod* You know, I'll carry you up, put you in the big chair, change the sheets, and then we can lie down.
Buffy: *mumbles* I'd argue if that didn't sound so very, very nice.
Spike: *small smile, carefully scoops her into his arms as he stands and slowly heads up the stairs, moving carefully so as not to jostle her*
Buffy: *whispers* I'm sorry I'm so much trouble tonight. I know I'll be healed tomorrow.
Spike: *nuzzles her, says quietly* No trouble at all, luv... I'm more than happy to do it. *kisses her forehead gently* Besides, I carry you upstairs even when you're not on the injured list.
Buffy: Yeah, but you have to change sheets, too.
Spike: *shrugs* I don't mind. *pushes open the door to her room with his foot and carefully sets her in the big comfy chair, before turning to strip the sheets off the bed* While I'm doin' this, got any preferences for the new sheets?
Buffy: *shakes head* Nope.
Spike: *gathers up the old sheets in his arms* Gonna go put these in the laundry room. And I'll grab some new ones from the linen closet on the way back... *concernedly* Are you gonna be okay for a couple of minutes, luv?
Buffy: *nods* I was alone for an hour after, before you came back.
Spike: *ducks head for a moment* I wish I was here sooner... *sighs*
Buffy: Not really you're fault, Spike.
Spike: I know... *small smile* I'm havin' a guilt trip. I can't help where it takes me.
Spike: *sighs again, and walks out of the room, carrying the old sheets*
Buffy: *pulls knees up, wincing a bit, and wraps arms around them, resting her head on the back of the chair and closing her eyes*
Spike: *comes back carrying a set of dark blue silk sheets, seeing that her eyes are closed, he sets about putting them on the bed as quietly as possible*
Buffy: *opens eyes after a minute and smiles at him* Thanks.
Spike: *gives her a small grin as he tucks the bottom of the top sheet in* You're welcome, luv... I thought these might be a little more comfortable than cotton... *small shrug* I like sleepin' on silk when I'm hurt... Well, as a rule, too, but I was tryin' to make a point.
Buffy: *smiles, and then half frowns* I didn't know we even HAD silk...where'd you find them?
Spike: *small grin* They're mine. Some of the stuff I had Clem keep for me last summer. S'what's in the trunk in the basement. A few clothes, some of my journals and poetry books, and three sheet sets.. *almost shy smile* You told me once that you liked the navy blue ones... *small shrug*
Buffy: Oh... *smal smile* Thank you...*looks at them and the smile gets bigger* Yeah. I like those...they;re comfy
Spike: *soft chuckle, then quieter, serious* Luv.. Do you want... Do you want to change clothes? Would you need help?
Buffy: *Looks down at her shirt and jeans* The pants...*looks at the shirt and whimpers* It's dirty, but I don't wanna wear something else...
Spike: *quietly* Want the one I have on now? It's clean.
Buffy: *looks at it longingly for a minute, then shakes head* No. I can't just keep taking your clothes.
Buffy: *nods at her dresser* The pjs are in there.
Spike: *raised eyebrow* You're not takin', I'm offerin'. And I could get it back when I do laundry next time.
Buffy: *Bites lip and nods. Starts to raise arms to take this one off and hisses, wincing* Or, maybe I'll just keep this on.
Spike: *moves slowly to her* Let me do it, luv... If you unbutton it first, it'll be easier. *begins carefully unbuttoning the shirt*
Buffy: *puts a hand over his to stop him* Remember when I said they were on my breasts?
Spike: *small wince* Yeah...
Buffy: Ok, well I need you to not go all rampag-y on me when you see them, ok? It's kinda bad.
Spike: *small sound, pained nod* Okay... I promise. *leans forward and rests his forehead against hers for a moment, steadying himself* Alright... *undoes the rest of the buttons slowly*
Buffy: *small voice* SPike? *furrows eyebrows and shrinks away a bit* Spike?
Spike: *is taking in deep breaths, staring at the scratches on her breasts, trembles slightly for a moment, then seems to calm by force of will* *very quiet* Yes, luv?
Buffy: You still with me?
Buffy: You're not gonna punch another expensive hole in my wall, are you? *voice betrays the words, showing how scared she is*
Spike: *another deep breath, small nod* No... I'm okay... *closes eyes, deep exhale, opens eyes, looking into her face, eyes showing pain, sympathy, and very well supressed anger showing itself in flecks of gold* I'm here, luv... I'm with you..
Spike: *gently helps her slide the shirt off her shoulders, hanging it over the back of another chair, before moving to remove the one he's wearing to give to her*
Buffy: *swallows* Your eyes are going gold. *raises a hand, wincing, and traces his forehead* and you're flashing bumps.
Spike: *draws in a ragged breath as he removes his shirt and slips it onto her* I'll be fine... Don't worry about me, luv... I can handle this thing.
Buffy: *smiles a little* I like the gold. *shrugs, and grimaces, the smiles again, slightly* I like the bumpies, too.
Spike: *blinks* You do?
Buffy: *nods*
Spike: If I may ask... why? And, do you want your pajama pants, or are the jeans okay? I'm willin' to help.
Buffy: *shakes head* The jeans are scraping the scratches. There are sweat pants in the drawer.
Buffy: I like it because it means your worried, and upset...and it feels good
Spike: If I may ask... why? And, do you want your pajama pants, or are the jeans okay? I'm willin' to help. (sorry if i'm repeatin' myself, but Tiger got kicked, and I don't have anything after this..*shrugs*)
Buffy: *shakes head* The jeans are scraping the scratches. There are sweat pants in the drawer.
Buffy: I like it because it means your worried, and upset...and it feels good
Spike: *small smile, turns to get the sweat pants out of the drawer* Oh. I always try to fight it... Sometimes I don't know when I do it, though.
Buffy: *quietly* when you went ballistic...it felt really good. I forgot what it feels like to have that happen in my defence. It's been a while. I liked it. *smiles wryly* I just didn't like the hole in the wall, which, by the way, you're paying for. Willow will want to know where it came from.
The following message could not be delivered to all recipients:
*shakes head* The jeans are scraping the scratches. There are ...
The following message could not be delivered to all recipients:
I like it because it means your worried, and upset...and it fee...
Spike: *small groan* Okay. I figured as much. *small smile as he returns with the pants* Maybe it's not such a bad thing, after all... If it can do something that makes you feel good.
Buffy: *pouts* ANd just two days ago, you were asking to help pay for stuff.
Spike: *soft chuckle* I know. And I'm gonna, don't worry, luv. I'm just sayin' that I didn't even really realize that I'd put a hole in the wall.. till after.
Spike: *rubs his knuckles absently* Kinda regretin' it now, though. That's the same bloody hand the punchin' bag nailed me on.
Buffy: Oh. *pulls the hand to her mouth and kisses it, slowly* Better?
Spike: *smiles* Much. *takes a moment to just stroke her cheek with the backs of his fingers* I love you, Buffy...
Buffy: *hums and smiles* *whispers* Love you too.
Buffy: *eyes pop open* I just said that didn't I?
Buffy: *gives him a worried look* You're not seeing a ghost right this minute, are you? I didn't just jinx us?
Spike: *mouth is hanging open slightly, and his eyes suddenly look almost lit from within* No ghost... *blinks rapidly, eyes obviously welling* Nothin' here but you... and me.. luv.
Buffy: *worried look gets worse* But something's wrong, isn't it? *glances around* Damn. I knew saying it would do something bad. I told you! *looks back at him* No voices or, or...spooky people singing songs?
Spike: *glances around the room, slow head shake* No.. Nothin' here. Nothin' wrong at all... *voice nearly cracks, blinks hard*
Buffy: *frowns* Are you sure? You don't seem ok. Are you ok?
Spike: *single tear makes it's way down his cheek, but he doesn't seem to notice* *reaches out to stroke her cheek again* *quietly, almost reverently* You said it... you love me...
Buffy: *bounces a little, ignoring the pain and glances around again* Nothing bad? Are you sure? *frowns at the tear* Are you hurt? Did something...SPIKE! What happened?
Spike: *small headshake* Nothing... and.. everything... *legs seem to give out, drops to his knees in front of the chair, still stroking her cheek* I'm just... can't discribe it... *smiles, lower lip trembling* I'm too happy... I can't.. barely breathe... *is trembling slightly and won't break eyecontact* Say it again? Please?
Buffy: *eyes widen and a scared look enters them* Spike, are you ok? You DON'T breathe. Why are you breathing? *starts to panick and grabs the hand stroking her cheek, holding it still* *Whispers* Please, I need a complete sentence. The last vampire I told I loved I had to send to hell because of her, and she's been haunting you. Please tell me something didn't happen just now?
Spike: *swallows, small nod* Okay.. I can do this.. Luv, I do breathe.. It requires air to talk. Vamp vocal cords still need it. It's become a reflex. *swallows* Nothing happened, Buffy. There's nothing in the house but you and me... You just said that you love me, and I'm on the verge of tears of happiness here... Please don't be scared. There's nothing wrong.
Buffy: You're sure? NOthing happened?
Spike: *slow nod* Nothing. Except that I think I just had a heart attack, s'all. But in a good way.
Buffy: You can't have a heart attack, it doesn't beat.
Buffy: *swallows* So, I didn't jinx us?
Spike: *small headshake* No. And, luv? For a vamp, a heart attack IS a heart beat. Well, more like a flutter. And that just happened to me. Only times it's happened in the past has been when I was bloody terrified... Never had it happen cause I was happy before.
Spike: *cocks head slightly* S'kinda a plesant feelin' actually.
Buffy: *eyes widen* I made your heart beat?
Spike: *small nod* Just.. like a little jump, really.
Buffy: but...*still wincing, reaches out and places a hand over his heart* I made it beat? Really? But I didn't do anything.
Spike: *smiles* *quietly* You did everything... I've been waiting to hear that for nearly three years, Buffy... *blinks hard again*
Buffy: *frowns, confused* But...I told you this two nights ago.
Spike: But you didn't SAY the words, Buffy... *swallows* You told me, but you didn't TELL me.
Spike: And, to tell you the truth, I almost had a heart attack at that. So it's not a real suprise that the actual words pushed the old muscle over the edge.
Buffy: *quietly* And I told you why. What I was afraid of. And I thought you understood.
Spike: *nods* I do understand but... *looks around* Nothing happened.
Buffy: *frowns at him, still scared* Not yet. But it still might.
Buffy: I...I let my guard down. I didn't even know I was saying it.
Buffy: That's when something bad happens. That's ALWAYS when something bad happens. *voice starts to sound slightly hysterical* Spike, I didn't know I was saynig it! I didn't...I wasn't paying attention. That's when stuff...that's when it happens. When I don't realize I'm doing it, I lose. The things or people I love get ripped away, when I'm not paying attention, like just now.
Spike: Buffy.. Buffy... Shhhh... *grips her shoulders gently, but firmly, and brings their foreheads together, staring into her eyes* Look at me. Focus on me. Listen to what I'm saying. Nothing. Bad. Has. Happened. Nothing. Bad. Will. Happen. Do you hear me?
Buffy: *breathing hard* You don't know that. And something bad already happened to you.
Buffy: She's already been haunting you. The next thing you know, I'll be out on some cliff again, trying to talk my vampire lover out of waiting for the sunrise. And I don't think I can go through that again, Spike! I can't almost lose you, let alone ACTUALLY lose you. What if I don't get there in time? What if she convinces you? You've already asked me to stake you once!
Spike: *leans forward a little more, touching their noses for an instant, before rocking back, still on his knees in front of her* Okay, luv. I'm only going to say this once, too. I. Am not. Angel. I'm not going anywhere. Your children's children's children are gonna have to put up with me watchin' over them. You know I don't break my promises. And I promise you. I swear on my SOUL, that I won't leave.
Spike: And she's gone. I haven't seen her since the wheel, and I don't think I'm ever gonna see her again. Buffy, listen to me. If you think that I'd ever kill myself, after you've told me that you love me, then I'm not the one who's crazy. I promise you, I'm with you till the end of the world. *touches foreheads again* You hear me? Till the end of the world.
Buffy: *sniffles and closes eyes* We went to see you and you were gone. and Clem didn't know when you'd be back. You didn't even leave a note.
Buffy: *sniffles again and ignores the fact that she's crying* And you didn't come back. You never told me when you did. I had to find out from ghost things, and then you told me to leave...
Spike: *quietly* Buffy.. things are different now, and you know it... I barely even knew where I was down there.. Barely even knew what or who I was, for that matter... And you know why I had to leave... Clem did give you my message, didn't he? That I WOULD be back? I told him to tell you...
Buffy: He said he wasn't sure. *sniffles and clutches at his shirt, shivering a little*
Spike: *slides one hand between them to button the still open shirt around her* I told him, word for word, that I was coming back. I didn't know when, because I didn't know how long the trials would last.. and I anticipated a month or so before the soul settled in... *quieter* Didn't know that it'd still be settlin' six months afterwards... *sighs* But I told him to tell you that I'd be back.
Spike: And, frankly? Now I'm kinda mad at him.
Buffy: *shrugs* It was a hectic night. Willow going nuts. It was all kinda blurry. You not being there was really enough to panic me.
Buffy: I don't even really remember what he said, exactly. *winces as the shirt rubs against an open cut and swallows* And right now I'm feeling way too pathetic to care.
Spike: You've calmed down a bit though, right? *very concerned* Do you want me to go get you some water? Or milk? Milk is good to calm you down. Especially chocolate milk.
Buffy: *shakes head* I'm fine. *swallows* Can we do the pants now? *looks down at the jeans* I think these are just making the problem worse.
Spike: *small nod* Okay.. Uh. What do you want me to do?
Buffy: *frowns at him, then nods* Nevermind. I can do it. You don't have to. *stands and grabs the sweatpants*
Spike: *stands up slowly, something in his back popping, causing a small wince* Ow. Damn old bones. *sighs* *looks at her concernedly* Do you think you need new underwear, too? I can get some... Saw some in the drawer... *small shrug*
Buffy: *shakes head* No. I get it. Just let me change. You can wait outside, if that makes it better.
Spike: *shakes head* No.. I kinda want to stay in here... I'll turn my back, though... Unless that'd make you uncomfortable, in which case I can go outside... and I'm rambling. Sorry.
Buffy: *shrugs and looks down at the jeans, taking a deep breath* Whatever. You don't have to look. You can...whatever
Spike: *moves over to the bed and sits on the end, looking at.. the wall paper, apparently* Okay.
Buffy: *watches him for a minute, looking kind of hopeful, the sighs* OK. *reaches down and starts to undo the button*
Spike: *upon hearing the zipper, glances over out of the corner of his eye, slowly turning his head to follow the direction of his gaze, head slightly cocked*
Buffy: *slids the pants down, wincing as they scrape over the endless scratches running down her legs*
Spike: *bed springs creak a little as he shifts to watch her, a low, dangerous growl beginning to rumble from his throat as the scratches are revealed*
Buffy: *kicks the pants away and surveys the damage for a minute, tracing one to the pantyline where it dissapears underneath. Sighs and turns to look for the sweatpants she dropped*
Spike: *has picked up the pants and is holding them out to her, still growling quietly, eyes glowing slightly in the semi-darkened room*
Buffy: *stares at the hand with the pants for a minute before seeming to snap out of it.* thanks. *Takes them and moves to the bed, sitting carefully. Wincing, lifts a leg and slips it into the pants, hissing as the bend knee manages to open one of the cuts*
Spike: *gets up slowly, moving to stand in front of her* *quietly* Hold your legs out, luv. *gently seizes the waistband of the pants with both hands* I'm gonna ease 'em on for you.
Buffy: *looks at him, frowning* I thought you didn't want to help?
Spike: *small smile* Not that I don't want to, luv... I was kinda worried about.. how did you put it? Goin' ballistic again... *glances down at the scratches, eyes flashing gold* Which is still a possibility... but I think that I've got it under control.
Buffy: *smiles slightly* Your eyes are gold again.
Spike: *small sigh* Well... Can't help that at the moment... Probably not gonna be able to turn it off for a bit, too. But that's okay... I can see better like this.
Buffy: *smiles again* I told you...I like it.
Buffy: *holds out legs and bits lip* I think one of them's bleeding again.
Spike: *glances down* Hmm... Not much, but yeah... *looks up at her* Uh.. I can close it, but, given what happened last time, I don't know if I should.
Buffy: *swallows* I'm not sure which will hurt more.
Spike: *ducks head* Yeah. That's what I'm worried about, luv. *blinks* But, I have an idea.
Spike: *cocks head, golden eyes glowing* Might seem kinda weird, but it should work about the same.
Buffy: *nods and winces again, slowly bringing a hand up to her neck* OK
Spike: *moves to the side of the bed, gets a box of kleenex, and brings it back* *pulls one tissue out of the box, and glances at her* Don't get grossed out, okay, luv? I'm gonna.. spit on the kleenex.
Buffy: Ok.
Spike: *brings the kleenex to his mouth, letting a little spit onto it, then leans down and wipes the cut with the kleenex, smiling with fangs when it closes right in before their eyes* Well. That worked better than I'd hoped.
Buffy: *swallows and closes eyes pressing legs together. Gasps and winces, muttering* Well, there's one question answered
Spike: *ducks head* Sorry.
Buffy: *pants a little, half in pain* Not your fault. Mine. How many slayers get turned on by this? Just me. *groans and winces* Oh, not good.
Spike: *small chuckle* I'm really sorry, luv... And most Slayers, I'd imagine. You know, quite a few met their demise's in a vamp's bed. Anything I can do?
Buffy: No. Anything I can think of will just hurt more.
Spike: *slow nod* Should I try to get the pants up now? Or do you want to pull them up on your own?
Buffy: I think you should do it. TL has to get offline soon, and I'm thinking bed.
Buffy: *looks at him, frowning* These should be healed a bit ny tomorrow, right?
Buffy: by
Spike: *nods* Should be completely healed by tomorrow night, if you call in sick to work tomorrow... Uh.. today.
Buffy: I'll have to. Everytime I move, I seem to make it worse.
Spike: *small nod* Yeah... *helps her pull the pants the rest of the way up, then lifts her into his arms and lays her on the bed carefully* Better?
Buffy: Yeah. *tugs his arm* Lie with me 'till I fall asleep?
Spike: *smiles* Of course... *climbs into the bed next to her* Unfortunatly, I've only got about twenty minutes before Tiger's gonna kick me offline. She's only been lettin' me stay this long cause she's worried about you.
Buffy: *smiles a little* I have less. Five minutes, I've been told.
Buffy: Are you still sad she's gone? *looks up at him* Honestly. I know you're mad...but are you still upset?
Spike: *takes deep breath* Yeah. Kinda. But I skipped from step two to step five. I somehow thought that it would hurt more... *small shrug* I guess bein' with you is helpin' alot.
Buffy: *nods, suppressing the wince* OK. *slowly moves closer, trying to snuggle without hurting herself*
Spike: *reaches carefully to stroke her cheek for a moment, before gingerly putting an arm around her* If this hurts at all, you tell me... *nuzzles her hair a little*
Buffy: *sighs and closes eyes, breathing into his chest* Not at the moment, no. *hums a little and inches closer, rubbing a leg against his*
Spike: *quietly* Uh, luv?
Buffy: hmm?
Spike: Do I.. *blinks* I'm feelin' kinda sleepy, and I can't tell if I'm still.. fangy.
Buffy: *opens eyes and peaks up* No. Not bumpy. Still got the gold eyes though. *smiles* It's nice *closes eyes and nuzzles his chest again* Feels safe.
Spike: *small smile* Oh. That explains why I can talk normal, but can still see as if there are about four extra lights on in here. Rather than.. well, none.
Buffy: *sleepily* I'm gonna go to sleep now, ok?
Spike: *small nod* Okay... me too, actually.. Red'll have to deal when she gets back in three hours, cause I'm not movin'.
Buffy: *mumbles* Good. Night. *sighs and snuggles a little closer*
Spike: *small, very soft purr, nuzzles her gently, golden eyes drifting closed* Night... *mumbled* Love you...
Buffy: *whispered* Love you too.
Spike: *whispered after he knows she's asleep* ...I know...
Spike: Hey, luv.
Buffy: Hey.
Spike: *small sigh* I was talkin' to Aaron a bit ago..
Buffy: *raises an eyebrow* Yeah?
Spike: He... there was a little girl, and this.. vampiress was bitin' her, so he staked her... *is gettin' quieter*
Spike: It was Dru.
Buffy: Oh. *bites lip* I'm sorry.
Spike: *deep sigh* Yeah.. I just found out about.. five minutes ago.
Spike: My stomach's in knots...
Buffy: *swallows and nods* Do you need me to go?
Spike: I'd rather you sat with me... Feelin' kinda.. sick. *glances up at her from his spot on the couch* It'd really help if you'd stay with me.
Buffy: *wipes eyes* You sure? I'm in kinda a depressed mood myself. I won't be a whole lotta comfort
Spike: Misery loves company. *small, pained smile* You want to tell me what happened?
Buffy: *shrugs and sits down* Nothing happened, like that. TL saw the end of A.I. None of us had ever seen it, and it was on HBO, and she was eating dinner.
Buffy: It was really sad. She cried. Which, of course means that I cried.
Buffy: Sharing a body and all that.
Spike: Oh. That is depressing. I hate that movie.
Spike: It makes no sense. It's like... Pinnochio, but... not.
Spike: And the end is so bloody sad... That he gets his mum back, only for her to die again.
Buffy: I know. She only caught, like, the last twenty minutes of it. As he's flying through the underwater disney is where she came in.
Buffy: I don't know *why* She insists on watching just the ends of sad movies, when everyone's told her it's depresing. She cries really easily to begin with.
Spike: *nods* Yeah.
Spike: *sighs* So does Tiger.
Spike: Hell, I do to... sometimes.
Buffy: *wipes eyes again* But it's just a movie. I was coming online to distract myself. Plus, you were gonna be here.
Spike: *small smile* I'm not helpin'. I know.
Buffy: I'm sorry about Dru....I mean, ok, not in the sense that she won't be killing anymore. But I'm sorry for you.
Spike: *nods slowly* Yeah.... *blinks a couple of times* So.. Bit's upstairs studyin'?
Buffy: *shakes head* Nope. She got invited to some kind of sleepover study session. They'll take her to school in the morning.
Spike: Oh. Well, then. *small smile* At least I don't have to worry about flyin' text books.
Buffy: *rolls eyes* I'm sure it was a one time thing.
Spike: Yeah.. the next time, she'll probably just haul off and punch me. *small snort* And I'm gonna let her.
Spike: She can't really hurt me, after all, and it might help her to get it out.
Buffy: *cleras throat* She can hurt you, actually.
Buffy: *sheepish look* I've been training her. All summer. She can...she's throwing pretty good punches these days.
Spike: *blinks* Great.
Spike: *sighs* Another thing I missed, aparently.
Buffy: Well, it wasn't safe!
Buffy: I mean, she's this...this huge source of mystical engery we know nothing about, and I'm not always with her, and she was complaining that I treat her like she's helpless, and then, in that hole, with the undead...tings, I got a great demonstration that she isn't...did you know she learned to sword-fiht just from watching me?
Spike: *smiles* I had an inkling.
Spike: She's got your natural grace.
Spike: And sharp tongue. *small grin*
Buffy: You wanna talk about it?
Spike: *sighs* I want the lump in my throat and the knawing pain in my stomach to go away. And I don't think you'd really want to hear anything I want to say.
Buffy: Oh. Ok. *looks away for a minute and swallows* You sure you don't want me to leave?
Spike: *looks up suddenly* No! *clears throat* That is... I really don't want to be alone, luv. *winces* I just realized how utterly pathetic I sound.
Buffy: *shrugs* I just figured, maybe you can find someone you DO want to talk to.
Spike: Luv, I DO want to talk to you.. Just not about this. I think I'm gonna stick this in my barrel.
Buffy: barrel?
Buffy: You just guessed the hangman, didn't you?
Spike: The place I stuff everything I'm promising myself I'm never gonna think about. It's in the faaar back of my mind. And yes, I did.
Buffy: Did you laugh?
Buffy: You should have laughed...you of ALL people should have laughed
Spike: Still am.. a little.
Spike: 'barrel of dead monkeys'? Who said that, anyway?
Buffy: Lawyer at Wolfram and heart. The full quote is:
"How's ANgel these days?" And Lindsay says, "Angel? He's good, he's bad. He's up, he's down. He's a barrel of dead monkeys..."
Spike: *laughs softly* I think I like that guy.
Buffy: lawyer at a demon law firm. *grins and shakes head* You would.
Spike: *leans back on the couch a little* I'm startin' to feel better.
Buffy: *glances at his lap and bites lip, but just leans back next to him* Good.
Spike: *smiles softly* Come on.
Spike: *holds arms open*
Buffy: *Looks down at her hands in her lap and shakes head* You're upset. I don't wanna impose...presume...one of those words. *shrugs* It's something like that.
Spike: I think it's impose, and you're not, luv. I want to hold you... *smiles slightly* I need cuddles to make me feel better. Your puppy, remember?
Buffy: *peaks at him* I thought I was the puppy, because I liked being petted. Make up your mind!
Spike: *smiles*Okay, you're the puppy, and I"m the kitty, cause I purr.
Spike: And I like bein' petted, too. *small grin*
Buffy: *doesn't look up but starts to smirk* You aren't really smiling over there. *looks up at him and raises an eyebrow* Ibet I could fix that...*eye focus on his toes*
Spike: *eyes widen* Now, luv.. wait a minute...
Buffy: *smiles innocently* But, you're upset. And I wanna cheer you up. And, it would. Cheer you up, that is...*starts to inch closer*
Spike: *squirms backwards slowly, a small grin finding it's way forward* Luv... now... c'mon, here... Thought last night, you said no ticklin'... *still grinning slightly*
Buffy: *crawls closer, mock stalker-like* But that was becuase Dawn was gonna be home. And now she isn't*
Spike: *bumps the arm of the couch* Oof. Uh oh...
Spike: *to himself* At least I'm wearin' a shirt tonight...
Buffy: *giggles* You won't be for long...
Spike: No... Buffy.. luv... *grins* C'mon..
Buffy: *pounces on him, sliding her hands under his shirt to tickle his stomach*
Spike: *yelps, laughs loudly* AaHAA! No! *squealing giggles*
Buffy: *straddles him and moves her hands to the sides, leaning her forehead against his* You have to admit, you are smiling...
Spike: *squirms desperatly beneath her, giggling helplessly* Yeeaaah... But.. Eep!
Buffy: But? There should be no but there...*slids to the floor and captures his foot in one fluid motion, starting on the toes of this left foot while holding his ankle.* *Glares up at him* There should be NO but there, unless it's the cute one behind you.
Spike: *squeals loudly* Okay!! Okay!! No BUT!! *jerks on his foot desperatly*
Buffy: *grins up and him and starts on the bottom of the foot* Did I mention last night that you have the cutest feet?
Spike: *gives up jerking and starts twisting uselessly, still giggling* YEAAAHHH!!
Buffy: *Still grinning, slips her hands under his pant leg and starts on the ankle and calf* Good, Because they are,
Spike: *screeches* BuffYYYYYY!! DOOONNN'TTT!!!
Buffy: *innocently smiles* But, I haven't done this part before. *tickles up a little and then comes back down the the ankle, making a kind of circle, front to back.
Buffy: *
Spike: *grabs the back cushion of the couch desperatly, squeezing it to keep from jerking his leg* *wave of giggles* QUIT IT THEEERREEE!!
Buffy: *raises an eyebrow and lets go with one hand to hold the leg still, sliding the other up to get at the back of his knee* How about there?
Spike: *jumps, giggles and squirms, making a high pitched trilling squeak in lue of talking*
Buffy: *grins and giggles* Sorry, what was that?
Spike: *makes the sound again, trying to bend his knees, eyes closed, laughing*
Buffy: *bounces on her knees a little, a dissapointed frown on her face* I still don't know what you said! *starts to tickle the ankle with her other hand*
Spike: *gasps in a deep breath* Said... Knees're... a EEAAH! Weak SPOT!
Buffy: *giggles* Oh. *stops tickling and grins up at him* Feeling better? Or should I keep going? *tickles the knee again for a second*
Spike: *grins, giggling quietly* If you do... keep goin'... get away from there...
Buffy: *puts on a full pout* But I like this spot. *tickles it again*
Spike: *yelps* Yeah.. Well.. I kinda.. do, too.. But... s'not my favorite. *chuckles a little*
Buffy: *keeps pouting but lets go, sitting back on her heels* FIne.
Spike: *pants, small smile* Did I.. say you had to.. stop? *grins*
Buffy: *shrugs, but still doesn't let the pout drop* You didn't like my spot.
Spike: *grins* I do like it. Not as much as others, though, see? *chuckles* I can't believe I'm layin' here, discussin' where I like to be tickled with the Slayer... *small head shake, chuckles*
Buffy: Well, now I don't wanna tickle you anymore. So there. *turns and sits on the floor with her back to the couch, stretching her legs out in front of her*
Spike: *slides off the couch to sit beside her, staring in the same general direction that she is, after a moment, whispers conspiritorily* So.. what are we starin' at?
Buffy: *sends him a dark look and looks down at her hands*
Spike: *gently puts one arm around her shoulders* Luv, c'mon. I was just playin' again. Really.
Buffy: *shakes his arm off and stands up, heading for the stairs and avoiding his eyes* I'm gonna change. Patrol was killer on this skirt, and I'm getting cold again.
Spike: *small sigh, gets up, follows her up the stairs* Luv... what're you mad at me for now?
Buffy: *calls behind her* I'm not. Why do you think I'm mad? *goes into her room, but leaves the door partialy open and slids out of her skirt, making a face. it's ruined.*
Spike: *small sigh* Because you don't want me to touch you, and you got up and left, and you won't look me in the eyes, and I'm confused. Cause a minute ago, I thought you were havin' fun.
Buffy: I was. *takes off her shirt and starts to dig through a pile of clothes on a chair for something*
Spike: *leans against the wall next to the door* Then what happened?
Buffy: Nothing. Nothing happened. *pulls a red shirt from the pile and puts it on, grabbing a new pair of jeans from a bag, with little puppies around the cuffs, with spiked collars*
Spike: Then what... *shakes head* Okay. Now. I mean it this time. I have given up understandin' you.
Buffy: *opens the door and looks down at him, buttoning up his shirt* Thought you did that already? *brushes past him and starts back down the stairs*
Spike: *follows her* Luv... c'mon. Tell me what's goin' on now. Cause, I'm feelin' really confused, and that's kinda overriding the happy feelin's from a minute ago.
Buffy: *Curls up on the couch and starts to fiddle with the cuff of the shirt, grabbing the tv clicker and tossing it to him when he comes in the room* You pick what we watch. *fixes her gaze on the TV*
Spike: *sits at the other end of the couch* Okay, let me get this straight. You're not mad at me, but you don't want to be over here with me... why?
Buffy: I didn't say that.
Spike: *blinks, turns off the TV, sets the remote down, and turns to face her* Then what ARE you sayin'?
Buffy: So far, I haven't said anything that I can think of.
Spike: I meant with... body language and stuff.. *small grin* Nice jeans, by the way.
Buffy: *tiny smirk* Thanks. They were in the story window, and they kinda...called me.
Spike: *smiles* They look good, luv. Really.. And I like the puppies.
Buffy: *studies her hands in her lap* Spiked collars. *bits lip*
Spike: *small grin* I noticed, but didn't want to bring it up, after what happened when I insinuated somethin' similar the other night.
Buffy: It was last night.
Spike: I know that.
Spike: *small sigh* So, want to tell me what's wrong now?
Buffy: Nothing. *starts playing with the shirt cuff again* Dawn tried to steal this shirt last night. I had to go into her room to get it back.
Spike: *cocks his head, slides a little closer* Really. Huh. You know, you need to start lockin' your closet.
Buffy: *shakes head* it wasn't in my closet. I was taking a shower, and it was on my bed. *shifts a little, snugling into it more and pulling both cuffs over her hands* I slept in it.
Spike: *smiles, moves a little closer* Comfy?
Buffy: *nods*
Spike: *is right next to her, goes to put his arm around her* Good. You know, my stuff is your stuff. You can take any of my shirts you want.
Buffy: *nods again* She was wearing it. I threatened to cut off all phone priveleges if she didn't give it back. She ended up stealing another of Angel's later on.
Spike: *pulls her to him slowly* Well, then everyone's happy...
Buffy: *holds herself stiffly, fighting the urge to snuggle into him* She tried to take it again this morning, though. I actually took the phone out of her room. She doesn't even know where it's from, she just wants it. That's probably why she was so anxious to get out of the house tonight. No phone.
Spike: *pulls his arm back and moves away* Oh. Okay. *moves back to the other end of the couch, pulling his legs up onto the couch and curling up in a similar position to her, is depressed*
Buffy: *whispers* You didn't have to let go.
Spike: *glances over at her* You don't want me holdin' you. You're all.. rigid. It's like tryin' to snuggle a board, luv... I don't know why you're mad at me, and my stomach is tied in knots.
Buffy: I'm NOT mad.
Buffy: I'm not. And I'm not that rigid. *peaks at him* Am I?
Spike: *blinks sadly* Well, in comparison to the last couple of nights, yeah.
Buffy: Sorry. *shifts again and winces* Had a rough night. I didn't mean to take it out on you.
Spike: *tenitively moves closer again* Want to talk about it?
Buffy: *shakes head violently and winces again*
Spike: Whoa... easy luv... *moves right next to her* Hurt your neck?
Buffy: *shrugs* Only in the technical sense of the word.
Spike: *small smile* Want a neck rub?
Spike: *grins* Or, you could just stretch out, and let me try my hands at a full back massage.
Buffy: *eyes widen* NO. No. That's just a bad idea.
Spike: *blinks* Okay...
Buffy: *shifts a little and trys to bring the collar up a bit* Sorry. Just hurts, is all.
Spike: *sighs* It's okay. *leans back next to her* I'll settle for bein' in the same room... *sounds.. confused, dejected, and a little sad*
Buffy: *nods again and winces, tugging the collar up again*
Spike: *sniffs* Buffy.. are you bleedin'?
Buffy: *eyes widen* No.
Spike: Cause, I smell Slayer blood... *eyes widen, growls* Where is it?*ground out*
Buffy: I'm not bleeding. *scoots a little farther into the corner of the couch*
Spike: *growls* Where. Is. The. Vamp. That. Bit. You? I see the wound, Buffy. I smell the blood, and I DON'T smell dust.
Buffy: *quietly* It got away.
Spike: *is still growling* Let me see.
Buffy: *shakes head and winces again* No.
Spike: Buffy... Let. Me. See.
Buffy: *quietly* No. It's fine.
Spike: Shake your head, and don't wince, then.
Spike: I want to take care of you, Buffy. Let me help.
Buffy: *swallows and shakes her head, trying to suppress the wince and whimpers*
Spike: *moves to her side and grips her shoulder, not hard enough to hurt, but hard enough to hold her* I'm gonna look at it, whether you want me to or not, Slayer. So do yourself a favor and hold still. *almost winces at his own tone*
Buffy: *swallows but doesn't say anything*
Spike: *reaches with his other hand to pull the collar away from her neck, eyes widen at the sight of the fresh bite* Bloody hell... *growls* I'm getting the first aid kit.
Buffy: *looks down at her hands but doesn't really move, shifting to pull a leg underneath her.*
Spike: *retrieves the kit and comes back* Cock your head. *sits next to her*
Buffy: *swallows again and cocks head, staring straight ahead*
Spike: *begins working on the wound, cleaning it carefully* What did it look like? Clothes, any distinctive marks? Stronger than normal?
Buffy: *quietly* I don't want to talk about it.
Spike: *growls* Well, too bad, Slayer. Cause I do. I can't kill something when I don't know what it looks like... and I"m gonna kill this... I'm gonna tear it apart. *has vamped without realizing it*
Buffy: *still whispering* You can't kill her. She's dust already.
Spike: You said it got away, a minute ago. *soft growl, contrary to his demeanor, is being very gentle with his bandaging*
Buffy: It did. From me. But I was...I was told she got staked.
Spike: *freezes*
Buffy: *closes eyes* Spike?
Spike: *very quietly* What?
Buffy: *looks down* Nevermind. It's not important. *swallows* Are you almost finished?
Spike: *shakes head, goes back to bandaging* Yeah... almost. And I don't care if it's important or not. Tell me. Right now, I'm not in the mood to take no for an answer.
Buffy: I didn't stake her.
Spike: I know. Aaron did. *finishes bandaging* Why's that botherin' you? *begins putting the kit back together*
Buffy: It's not. Just forget it.
Spike: I can't. Buffy, why didn't you? *puts the kit on the coffee table* *quietly* I think I know why, but tell me anyway.
Buffy: She was crying.
Spike: *blinks* What? Why?
Buffy: *shrugs* Said she could taste you in me. *swallows* That's why she stopped drinking. Which is probably good, because I think she used whatever that hypno thing is on me. I couldn't stop her.
Spike: *starts shaking slightly, still growling softly* A thrall. She had you in a thrall.... But.. why didn't you stake afterwards? You didn't lose much blood.
Buffy: *swallows again and whispers* I didn't want you to get mad at me...and I know how hard it is to lose a Sire. I went through that with Angel.
Spike: *looks at her* What do you think would hurt more, Buffy? Losin' Dru, or you? Cause, to me, the answer is pretty damn obvious. *clenches and unclenches his fists, trembling and growling low* That bitch... that she'd even come after you.... I wish I could bring her back so *I* could kill her....
Spike: *mutters* And a stake'd be too easy...
Buffy: *peaks at him* She was your sire. I...*shakes head and winces again* I couldn't do that. I couldn't do it to Angel the second time, even, when I heard Darla was back.
Spike: *growling mutters, glances at her* Have just decided that I'm not askin'. Buffy, a vamp is a vamp. Related to me or not, you're the Slayer. This is what you do. You wouldn't have let Harmony walk away, would you?
Buffy: *rolls eyes* Are you kidding? I almost staked her a few times when she was still human.
Spike: *snorts* I DID stake her once.
Spike: But,she was wearin' the Gem of Amara,so.. that didn't work out quite as I'd hoped.
Buffy: Pity
Spike: Tell me 'bout it... *grumbles* Last I heard from 'er, she was headed for LA. Peaches problem now.
Buffy: Been there, came back.
Spike: *groans, rests his vamped face in his hands, muttering* Oh, bloody wonderful...
Buffy: *looks down* Said something about Darla's scent on Angel.
Spike: *glances over at her* Darla's the queen bitch, luv. It'd only make sense that she'd try and get to Peaches. I don't think he'd take her, though... I mean, he's a... not finishing that, but anyway, he's not stupid.
Buffy: *whispers* He got her pregnant.
Spike: *wide golden eyes, shocked growl* I take it back. He IS stupid... Wait a minute.. If he, and then.... Is Angelus loose?
Buffy: No.
Buffy: And she's dust again. Wesley said...*swallows* He said she staked herself for the baby.
Buffy: *sniffles and keeps whispering* He didn't bother to tell me. I got..I got a call from Wesley, and it slipped out.
Spike: *moves closer without thinking, pulls her into his arms* Oh, Buffy... I didn't know... *nuzzles her a little* I'm sorry...
Buffy: *shrugs* Doesn't matter. Just...I couldn't kill Darla when I heard about it. How could you expect me to kill Dru?
Spike: *small sigh* I don't... I expected me to do it, if it ever came to that, to tell you the truth... I kind of wanted to be the one... That's why I was feelin' sick earlier, cause, it hurts, but I'm almost... jealous of Aaron... And that got me feelin' sick, cause the two emotions are... not meant to be there at once.
Buffy: *absently rubs her neck* I'm sorry.
Spike: No. Don't be. *nuzzles her gently, vamped features finally sliding back to normal* Honestly, luv.. I'm so relieved that you're alright, everythin' else is gone.
Buffy: *swallows and looks away, but nods.* I'm fine.
Spike: Do you.. do you want ME to leave?*quietly*
Buffy: No.
Buffy: I really don't
Spike: *nuzzles his nose in her hair* Good. Cause I don't want to.
Buffy: *swallows again and pulls away to reach for the remote* WHat do you want to watch?
Spike: *sighs, lets her get the remote, then gives a small shrug* Nothing sad. And nothing too exciting... I have no clue.
Buffy: *curls back up into the corner, wincing again and tosses the remote at him* You pick.
Spike: *catches it, absently flipping through channels* There's more botherin' you, isn't there? And don't say 'no', cause we both know it's not true. I'm not mad at you, if that's what you're worried about.
Buffy: I know that.
Buffy: *shakes head* There's nothing bothering me.
Spike: *sighs* Then why did you pull away from me again?
Buffy: *mumbles* It hurts.
Spike: *cocks head* The bite?
Buffy: *shakes head*
Spike: *blinks at her* It... hurts.. for me to touch you. Why...?
Buffy: *still mumbling* The scratches hurt
Spike: Scratches... *eyes flash gold again* She CLAWED you!? *growls*
Spike: Let me see.
Buffy: It's fine. It'll be healed by morning.
Spike: I don't care. I want to see it now.
Buffy: *mumbles again* There are too many, Spike.
Spike: *is at her side again faster than she can blink* Then start with one, move on to the next, and repeat until we're done. *small, pained growl* God. This is my fault. I know she had to have come back for me... I shoulda killed that bitch two years ago...
Buffy: Spike, they're on my...it's not a good idea.
Spike: Finish that first sentence.
Buffy: *sighs and eyes flash* Fine. They're on my ass and breasts, ok? She didn't like that she smelled you on me. They're all over. In front, too.
Buffy: *glares* happy? *turns away and closes eyes*
Spike: *blinks twice* God... *gets up with a roar and throws the closed first aid kit across the room, snarling loudly* BITCH!! Blood fuckin' BITCH!! *breathing so fast he sounds like a snorting bull* How DARE she..... *roars again, punches the wall, making a dent, begins pacing rapidly back and forth from the stairs to the kitchen door and back again, growling and muttering under his breath*
Buffy: *shrinks farther into the couch and mumbles again* She was screaming about touching what was hers.
Spike: *growls loudly* Funny, I'm bloody screamin' about HER touchin' what's MINE.... *rakes his fingers through his hair as he paces, licks his fangs absently*
Buffy: Said she made you and that you're hers. *looks up at him and winces, rubbing her neck* Can you stop pacing? You're making me dizzy.
Spike: *pauses almost in mid step near the kitchen door, stands there, clenching and unclenching his fists, snarling* News flash to the insane... She bloody broke up with ME. She was CHEATING on me. Had been for YEARS!! *roaring growl for a moment, takes deep breaths to calm himself* Bleedin' bint... wouldn't know inside from out if it wasn't for me...
Buffy: *looks down and closes eyes* When you're done, you let me know.
Spike: *closes his eyes, takes forced deep breaths, slowly regains human features, starts shaking slightly, leans against the wall for support* *very quietly* I'm.. done. I think... *shudders a little, wraps his arms around himself*
Buffy: You sure?
Spike: *small nod* *quietly* Yeah... two down, three to go.
Buffy: *frowns* What?
Spike: *pushes against the wall* Stages... stages of mournin'... Denial, anger, bargaining, dispair, acceptance. Two down, three to go.
Buffy: *whispers* Right. Because you're mourning. OK. *swallows and gets up, wincing a little* I'm gonna go get something to drink.
Spike: *moves to follow her* Can I come? Luv, I'm sorry.. I really am pissed, and I really do want to help you... But you won't let me... This isn't easy... But you know that, don't you? I shouldn't be tellin' you stuff you already know. *sighs, pushes against the wall again, makes a quiet sound*
Buffy: No. I got it. *flashes a weak smile and heads for the kitchen*
Buffy: *Leans on the counter in the kitchen and sighs. After a minute, lifts the bottom hem of the shirt and looks at the red scratches on her stomach*
Spike: *ducks his head, turns around so that he's facing into the kitchen* *quietly* I have scars from her, you know... Not just the one on my neck... *motions at where her shirt is pulled up* She musta been really upset, or else she woulda gutted you with that one... *winces* M'not helpin', am I?
Buffy: *head jerks up in surprise and eyes widen* You weren't going to follow me. *drops the shirt down and turns her back, opening the fridge and staring inside*
Spike: *small shrug* I.. didn't follow, really. I.. turned 'round. Just have good eyesight. And a good sense of smell. Buffy... would you let me help?
Buffy: Help with what? There's nothing to help. THESE *motions to her stomach* don't really hurt, anyway.
Spike: *quietly* Which ones hurt the worst?
Buffy: *shakes head and chooses a singer-serving bottle of juice* Doesn't matter. They'll be better in the morning. *closes the fridge but doesn't turn around, opening the juice*
Spike: *takes a couple of steps into the kitchen* It matters to me...
Buffy: *turns around and looks at him pointedly* Spike, some of them are on some sensitive skin. And some are...*swallows, closes eyes and whispers* some are inside, ok? So, they hurt.
Spike: *just stands there, looking like he's torn between going into another rage and breaking down in tears* *very quietly* Buffy... I'm so sorry..... I felt like I should've gone with you tonight.... I know I should've been there...
Buffy: *laughs soflty* Three weeks ago, you were seeing things. You are hardley in any state to go patroling with me.
Spike: Still.. I coulda distracted her... I coulda staked her... And, the things I was seeing? They were real, mostly. You know that now. *pushes sideways against the wall again*
Buffy: I know. BUt that doesn't mean you're in any shape to go out. Not emotionaly. And you know it. And I'll be better in the morning.
Spike: *doesn't say anything, studies the kitchen floor and pushes on the wall again, making a very soft sound, almost a whimper*
Buffy: *whispers* I'm gonna go sit back down now, ok? *avoids brushing him as she passes and goes back to the living room*
Spike: *turns around again, so that he's in the same position as before, facing into the living room* *quietly* Are you sure you want me here?
Buffy: Yeah. Just be careful when you touch me.
Buffy: *swallows* I definitly want you here. *glances at him nervously* Unless you don't want to me.
Buffy: to be.
Spike: *looks up* I want to be, luv... I didn't think you'd want me here... M'kinda a reminder, aren't I? *tenitively moves into the living room, slowly sitting on the midsection of the couch*
Buffy: *laughs softly again* That's actually what I was thinking about me
Spike: *very small almost smile* Well, then. I guess we're both wrong... Right?
Buffy: *glances at him* Yeah. *fiddles with the shirt cuff again* She slashed through the other jeans. The ones with the railroad tracks.
Spike: *quietly* I'll get you new ones.
Buffy: *motions to the jeans she's wearing* They didn't have any more. Hence, these
Spike: *cocks head* Well, I do like these. The puppies are nice... *reaches out and gently strokes her hair* Any wounds up here?
Buffy: *shakes head* Not really.
Spike: *moves a little closer, continues tenderly stroking her hair* Would you like something for pain? I have pills in my pocket again.
Buffy: *swallows* I've already taken some.
Spike: *winces* I'm so sorry, luv... I don't know what else to say.
Buffy: *shrugs* It's not your fault. I just...I didn't want you to know about them. *swallows and whispers* I couldn't even fight her. It was pathetic.
Spike: *small shrug* She had you in a thrall, Buffy... There *is* no fighting... Did you know that it can be done to other vamps, too?
Buffy: *mumbles* She didn't. Not when she was...the thrall stopped when she stopped drinking.
Spike: *blinks* Then.. it was the bloodloss.
Buffy: *shakes head* You said it yourself, she didn't take that much.
Spike: I.. I don't understand, then. What...
Buffy: I just couldn't fight her. I don't know why.
Spike: *looks at the coffee table quietly* Maybe she had you in a thrall still, and you just didn't think you were... *tone of voice says he KNOWS he's grasping at straws*
Buffy: *sighs and pulls away* We both know that's not true. If you're disgusted with me, you can just say so.
Spike: M'not disgusted... just.. confused.
Buffy: *shrugs and looks away* I couldn't fight her. She kept...*bites lip and mumbles to herself* I did NOT almost just say that.
Spike: *glances at her* She kept.. what, Buffy?
Buffy: *mumbles* She kept talking about what you...the two of you, together...*shrugs* SHe kept talking.
Spike: *closes eyes tightly* God.. you're the one who should be disgusted, Buffy... *leans forward, puts his elbows on his knees and pushes his palm against his forehead*
Buffy: *frowns* Spike, I knew you had lovers before me. *winces* Can we change the subject?
Spike: *small snort* How 'bout them Razorbacks? *semi-sarcastically*
Buffy: *glares* You're not helping.
Spike: *sighs* Sorry... M'sorry... I feel.. mixed up.. and I don't know what to do.
Buffy: *very quietly* Do you really love me?
Buffy: *focuses on her hands and bites lip*
Spike: *looks at her, total shock on his face* Buffy... You know I love you... I love you more than anything, or anyone, ever... I do. I.. I thought you knew that.
Buffy: *still whispering* She said...she said you'd never love me. That she knew you better than anyone, and you could never love the killer of your own kind...*swallows*
Buffy: *looks up at him, frowning, trying not to cry* Have you just been playing with me?
Buffy: Is this...were you just doing what Angelus said to? *shifts into a sarcastic voice* 'To kill this girl, you gotta love her'
Spike: *blinks, mouth slightly open* My god.. Buffy, no. I would never... *certainty in his voice* I love *you*. I have loved you, probably since I first saw you, but was just to bleedin' blind to see it. *blinks back tears* I would never, ever .... You.. don't believe me.. do you? *is trembling slightly*
Spike: Buffy... I got a soul for you.. Knowing what it would do.. Knowing that it could very well kill me... I wanted to be what you deserved... And I fought, and I won... But I'm still fighting. Every time I fall asleep, it's a fight. I see faces I never even knew I'd noticed. Remember names I didn't know existed... Every night I'm haunted... And I accept that, if it means that you can love me.
Spike: If it means.. that you can let *me* love *you*... *turns his head away, sniffles once, wipes at his eyes*
Buffy: *looks down at her hands* You were with her a really long time. *swallows* She didn't seem...she seemed really sure. And..*swallows again, curling her legs closer and wincing slightly* you've...the last few days...*takes a deep breath* you're holding back. A lot. And she...she really seemed...you were with her a really long time, Spike. The two of you. Together.
Buffy: I know I really don't compare to all that expirience.
Buffy: *bites lip and starts buttoning and un-buttoning her sleeve cuff, hugging the shirt close*
Spike: *takes in a deep breath, turning to face her, slowly captures her hands in his, holding them midway between them* Buffy.. I love you.. I meant it when I said that you're incredible. Let me put it this way... I was with Dru for over a century, true. In that time, how many poems do you think I wrote about her? Give me a guess.
Buffy: *shrugs and stares at their hands*
Spike: None.
Buffy: *quietly* oh.
Spike: I never wrote her one. And, in the time I've known you? Even when we were fighting? Buffy, you've got volumes devoted to you, and you alone.
Buffy: *swallows and meets his eyes* Angelus drew me. A lot. You sure I wasn't just some deep obsesion?
Spike: *nods* I'm sure.. You want to know the truth, Buffy? I didn't love Dru. I thought I did, but I didn't. She was... quite literally, a rebound for me. I'd just been pushed away by the girl that I'd had a crush on for my... whole life, almost, and I ran into her. I died that night, Buffy. And I stayed dead, inside, until I saw you.
Spike: You've brought out deeper feelings in me than I was ever supposed to be capable of. I've never hated someone with the passion that I did you. The other Slayers, they were almost a hobby... You, you were a grudge match.
Spike: And now, Buffy, I've never loved someone enough to risk my existence for them.
Spike: I've never loved someone so much that I'd withstand torture for them, just for the possibility that they might have a few more days of happiness.
Spike: And I have never, ever, loved someone enough to be happy to give my life for them. And I very nearly have for you, luv. Once at the tower... repeated a thousand different times in my dreams, and again when I risked the soul.
Spike: Did you know that it was highly possible that I would dust upon recieving it?
Spike: My body was so battered and broken, it's almost a miracle that I survived the restoration.
Buffy: Ok, you have to stop now. *frees a hand and presses her fingers against his lips* Stop.
Spike: *is blinking, even though several tears have already escaped*
Buffy: *sniffles and ignores the full out tears streaming down her cheeks* If you don't stop...you have to stop. *scoots closer and winces, then laughs wryly* I wanna hold you, but...
Spike: *small nod, brings a hand up to wipe at her cheeks extremely gently* I know... it's okay...
Buffy: *shakes head, wincing again* It's really not. I really, really want to hold you, and I want you to hold me, but it hurts when I walk, even, and....*sniffles and looks away, embarresed* I'm sorry.
Spike: *sniffs a little* S'ok... Are there... many on your back? And you can't be embarrassed about cryin', if I am too.
Buffy: I'm not embbaressed about crying. *sniffles* and yeah. They're pretty much everywhere.
Spike: *quietly* Do you... Do you think you could lean back against me, without it hurtin' too much? M'tryin' to find somethin' that works.
Buffy: *swallows* I don't know. I don't know if they're even still bleeding.
Spike: *sniffs a little* I.. don't smell any fresh blood... not on your back, anyway.. *winces* Do you... Would you like to go upstairs and lie down? Maybe that'd help a little. I could sit by the bed.
Buffy: *shakes head* No. *looks at him and frowns* Where do you smell the blood? *touches the bandage at her neck* This is dry....oh. *looks down and closes her eyes.* Yeah. Those, uhm...were bleeding earlier. I jsut thought I was early or something, but then they started to sting...*swallows* They should...uhm, they should be closed by morning, I think. If I don't move around too much, I guess.
Buffy: I don't really have a lot of expirience with this kind of...wound.
Spike: *small nod* Yeah... Me neither, obviously. I could carry you upstairs, and then we could practice bein' really still for the rest of the night.
Buffy: *shakes head* I don't want to go upstairs. Plus, I have to change the sheets before I go to bed anyway. I sat down on the bed when I came home, and didn't realize...
Spike: *winces* God... I'm havin' that 'want to kill something' feeling again... *attempted grin* Do you have Harris' phone number around somewhere? I want to invite him over for dinner. *attempted levity falls short*
Buffy: *smiles a little* Ha ha.
Spike: Well, at least I'm tryin'... *small shrug* Don't really wanna eat him, anyway.
Buffy: *nods* ok.
Spike: *concerned* You know.. I could run to the store... get.. I don't know. Ointment, or something... Do you want anything?
Buffy: *curls her leg under her and winces again* Do you think if you hold me, you could just be careful?
Buffy: *shakes her head* I don't think there's any ointment for cuts there.
Buffy: It's more likley to just get them infected.
Spike: *sighs* Hmm.
Spike: I can be careful.
Spike: You said.. the ones on your stomach don't hurt that much... Maybe you could lay on top of me, like you were last night... could that work? Or would movin' be too painful?
Buffy: *whispers* I'd really rather not move again...I think I'm opening them up. Couldn't you just... *sighs* Wow. I sound seriously pathetic.
Spike: *small smile* I'm pretty sure I did a little while ago... What were you gonna ask?
Buffy: Can you just hold me?
Spike: *small nod, carefully puts his arms around her, nuzzles against her hair softly* It'll be okay, you know... You're gonna be good as new...
Buffy: *sighs and lets him hold her, resisting the urge to snuggle closer* *starts to cry again and scowls at herself*
Spike: *releases her with one hand to use the sleeve of his shirt to wipe her face gently* Shhh... *lightly kisses her temple*
Spike: Luv.. Do you, do you think it'd be okay for me to purr, or would that hurt you?
Buffy: *frowns* I don't know. The purr itself...I don't think it would hurt, but..*looks at him, slightly scared* Do you think it would hurt if it..I mean, if I got...
Spike: *an almost grimace* I really don't know, luv... That's why I was askin'... *nuzzles her* I don't wanna risk hurtin' you... I almost feel like it's me that's been all scratched up... Every time you wince, I swear I feel it...
Buffy: *looks down and mumbles* Sorry.
Spike: S'not your fault, luv... In fact, I'm glad for it. Do you know what it means, that this is happenin' to me?
Buffy: *sighs and stares at her hands* That I'm hurting you?
Spike: No... well, yeah. In a way. It means that... Well, that I've.. bonded, to you.
Buffy: *head snaps up* What? When? Where was I? I'm supposed to know! *starts getting angry* NO, not you too. I am NOT going to find out after the fact, TWICE, that I'm married. You have NOT bonded to me yet, do you understand me? Angel didn't tell me for months. If you're gonna bond, I wanna know WHEN IT HAPPENS, do you hear me? I am not missing my wedding, TWICE!
Spike: *closes his eyes, fights back a small chuckle* Not that bond, luv... The precurser to that one.
Spike: Kind of an... engagement.
Spike: *winces* And I don't know when it happened, I kind of just figured it out... S'never happened before.
Buffy: *sacrasctically* Oh, well, that's just SO much better. I missed my proposal. Well! Lucky me we aren't mated yet, with, with a blood bond! I should consider myself fortunate for not having missed that part! *glares for another minute, then turns away, huffing*
Spike: *starts trembling slightly* Buffy... I didn't know, either.. till just right now... I've never done this before... I don't even know how it works... Didn't exactly have people who would tell me about these things, you know... With the pack I was in, it's a wonder I even know how to feed. They're not big on explainations... And I was happy about this a second ago.
Buffy: *sighs* I'm happy, too, Spike. I just...I missed all the steps with Angel. We were blood-bonded, you know. It broke when I died this last time, hence the meeting, to decide if we wanted to rebond, which was a no, by the way. Though...we're still linked. It's just that we've moved past.
Buffy: I just don't want to miss it all again, and then, AGAIN, wake up one day, mated and married, with no idea of when it happened.
Buffy: I want to remember getting married, you know? It's not that much to ask.
Spike: *nods* *quietly* You know, when I was human, and you were gonna ask a girl to marry you, you were supposed to do it in writing...
Spike: And I've never bitten you... No blood bond.
Buffy: *raises an eyebrow* Yes, you have.
Spike: *blinks* I have?
Spike: Oh.
Buffy: *looks hurt* A couple of times. *swallows* You...don't...*turns away and bites lip to keep from crying again*
Spike: *resists the urge to tighten his arms around her, nuzzles her* I do remember, Buffy... Vividly.. But that wasn't the right kind of bite for a blood bond... I think. Like I said, don't really know all that much about this technical stuff.
Spike: And, if we did have a blood bond from that, I would've started feeling this connection a year ago... Which tells me that... *blinks* That I did something wrong.
Spike: *blinks again, several times* Knew I'd do somethin' like that. Shows you how much I know, luv. I'm a blood bond virgin. *small sigh* And have no clue what I'm doin'.
Buffy: *mumbles* You have to hold the bite until I...uhm...*sighs* You have to make me come from the bite alone. Not neccesarily drain me, like Angel did, though that was a special circumstance...
Spike: *glances down at his jeans* Oh... So that's what I'm doin' wrong... *blinks* And it is extremely embarrassin' that I'm havin' to learn this from a vampire Slayer... *sighs*
Buffy: *shrugs* Why? It's not like Angel told ME...I found out from my watcher. Giles wanted to know why the bite wasn't fading, and then he started looking at me funny...and then he asked if I came when Angel bit me. Which was not something I wanted to discuss with him.
Spike: *winces* Oh shit. I can not even imagine talkin' to Rupert about this stuff... *sighs* I'm startin' to regret that I waved off Angelus when he offered the 'facts of unlife' talk.
Buffy: *nods* He knew he was doing it, he told me. Later. On...that day. He wanted to protect me when he wasn't here, since he was leaving, and he was hoping that the connection would help.
Buffy: But it was NOT something I wanted to talk to Giles about. Ever. Willow doesn't even know.
Spike: *sighs again* Well. Guess you really do learn somethin' new each day. *small grin* Know anythin' else 'bout vamp matin' habits that I might need, luv?
Buffy: *shrugs* Like what?
Spike: Dunno. You seem to be the expert, here. *small grin* And you were worried about somethin' similar the other day, I see. How does it feel to have the tables turned? Now I'm the one needin' validation. *sighs*
Buffy: *shifts a little and winces* Can we talk about something else, please?
Buffy: *looks longingly at his chest and sighs, resisting the urge to snuggle in again.*
Spike: *starts stroking her hair again* Okay... If you're hurtin' so bad... why'd you pounce me earlier? That couldn't have felt good to you, luv.
Buffy: *sighs* hence the leaving and changing. It didn't hurt as much before. I guess I opened some of the cuts up.
Spike: *winces* I'm sorry...
Buffy: *shrugs* Not your fault
Spike: I know... I just feel like it is. *small snort* Bloody soul again.
Spike: I've got an idea.
Spike: Why don't we finish the game we started last night?
Spike: I've got about two hours before Tiger's gonna make me leave.
Buffy: *bites lip* We can't just...*sighs* ok. You ask first.
Spike: No. Finish what you were gonna say, luv.
Buffy: *shakes head, ignoreing the pain.* Ask.
Spike: *sighs* Alright. Here's an easy one. You know I love you, right?
Buffy: *quietly* Yeah.
Spike: *small nod* Good. Your turn.
Buffy: Oh. *sighs and bites lip. Looks up at him aAfter a second looks up him*
Buffy: can I sit in your lap?
Spike: *smiles* If you don't think it'd hurt too much... I'd love for you to.
Spike: Need help?
Buffy: *grimaces and nods* Yeah, I think so.
Spike: *carefully helps her into his lap, hopefully with minimal pain* Easy.. slowly, luv... That's it.
Buffy: *winces once but sighs once she's there and hums, nuzzling a cheek into his chest* Thank you.
Spike: *rests his chin on her head* S'ok... *keeps his arms loosly around her* Was that your question, though? Or do you not feel like playin' anymore?
Buffy: That was my question
Spike: Ah. Okay.. Lemme think.
Spike: Does Harris annoy you at all?
Buffy: *smiles a little* Sometimes. But he makes me laugh more, and that's rare in my proffesion.
Spike: *small nod* Been doin' a little more of it lately, though. *soft smile*
Buffy: *forgets and snuggles closer, then winces and ducks head* Yeah.
Spike: *nuzzles her gently, purrs very quietly* Your question.
Buffy: oh
Spike: *swallows, stops purring* Oops. Sorry.
Buffy: *bites lip and wince, takes a deep breath* Yeah. Uhm...do I hae to ask a question?
Spike: If you want to stop playin', no.
Spike: I'm okay with just sittin' here, if that's what you want to do, luv.
Buffy: *nods and nuzzles in* Yeah. Is that ok?
Spike: *small nod* Okay. We can just stay like this.. Would it bother you if I lean back a bit? M'gettin' a bit of a cramp in my back sittin'up straight like this. Just be about an inch of difference.
Spike: I won't do it if you don't want me to.
Buffy: *closes eyes* Can we go upstairs? We can just pull the sheets off, I guess...*swallows* I don't really wanna move around enough to change them.
Spike: *small nod* You know, I'll carry you up, put you in the big chair, change the sheets, and then we can lie down.
Buffy: *mumbles* I'd argue if that didn't sound so very, very nice.
Spike: *small smile, carefully scoops her into his arms as he stands and slowly heads up the stairs, moving carefully so as not to jostle her*
Buffy: *whispers* I'm sorry I'm so much trouble tonight. I know I'll be healed tomorrow.
Spike: *nuzzles her, says quietly* No trouble at all, luv... I'm more than happy to do it. *kisses her forehead gently* Besides, I carry you upstairs even when you're not on the injured list.
Buffy: Yeah, but you have to change sheets, too.
Spike: *shrugs* I don't mind. *pushes open the door to her room with his foot and carefully sets her in the big comfy chair, before turning to strip the sheets off the bed* While I'm doin' this, got any preferences for the new sheets?
Buffy: *shakes head* Nope.
Spike: *gathers up the old sheets in his arms* Gonna go put these in the laundry room. And I'll grab some new ones from the linen closet on the way back... *concernedly* Are you gonna be okay for a couple of minutes, luv?
Buffy: *nods* I was alone for an hour after, before you came back.
Spike: *ducks head for a moment* I wish I was here sooner... *sighs*
Buffy: Not really you're fault, Spike.
Spike: I know... *small smile* I'm havin' a guilt trip. I can't help where it takes me.
Spike: *sighs again, and walks out of the room, carrying the old sheets*
Buffy: *pulls knees up, wincing a bit, and wraps arms around them, resting her head on the back of the chair and closing her eyes*
Spike: *comes back carrying a set of dark blue silk sheets, seeing that her eyes are closed, he sets about putting them on the bed as quietly as possible*
Buffy: *opens eyes after a minute and smiles at him* Thanks.
Spike: *gives her a small grin as he tucks the bottom of the top sheet in* You're welcome, luv... I thought these might be a little more comfortable than cotton... *small shrug* I like sleepin' on silk when I'm hurt... Well, as a rule, too, but I was tryin' to make a point.
Buffy: *smiles, and then half frowns* I didn't know we even HAD silk...where'd you find them?
Spike: *small grin* They're mine. Some of the stuff I had Clem keep for me last summer. S'what's in the trunk in the basement. A few clothes, some of my journals and poetry books, and three sheet sets.. *almost shy smile* You told me once that you liked the navy blue ones... *small shrug*
Buffy: Oh... *smal smile* Thank you...*looks at them and the smile gets bigger* Yeah. I like those...they;re comfy
Spike: *soft chuckle, then quieter, serious* Luv.. Do you want... Do you want to change clothes? Would you need help?
Buffy: *Looks down at her shirt and jeans* The pants...*looks at the shirt and whimpers* It's dirty, but I don't wanna wear something else...
Spike: *quietly* Want the one I have on now? It's clean.
Buffy: *looks at it longingly for a minute, then shakes head* No. I can't just keep taking your clothes.
Buffy: *nods at her dresser* The pjs are in there.
Spike: *raised eyebrow* You're not takin', I'm offerin'. And I could get it back when I do laundry next time.
Buffy: *Bites lip and nods. Starts to raise arms to take this one off and hisses, wincing* Or, maybe I'll just keep this on.
Spike: *moves slowly to her* Let me do it, luv... If you unbutton it first, it'll be easier. *begins carefully unbuttoning the shirt*
Buffy: *puts a hand over his to stop him* Remember when I said they were on my breasts?
Spike: *small wince* Yeah...
Buffy: Ok, well I need you to not go all rampag-y on me when you see them, ok? It's kinda bad.
Spike: *small sound, pained nod* Okay... I promise. *leans forward and rests his forehead against hers for a moment, steadying himself* Alright... *undoes the rest of the buttons slowly*
Buffy: *small voice* SPike? *furrows eyebrows and shrinks away a bit* Spike?
Spike: *is taking in deep breaths, staring at the scratches on her breasts, trembles slightly for a moment, then seems to calm by force of will* *very quiet* Yes, luv?
Buffy: You still with me?
Buffy: You're not gonna punch another expensive hole in my wall, are you? *voice betrays the words, showing how scared she is*
Spike: *another deep breath, small nod* No... I'm okay... *closes eyes, deep exhale, opens eyes, looking into her face, eyes showing pain, sympathy, and very well supressed anger showing itself in flecks of gold* I'm here, luv... I'm with you..
Spike: *gently helps her slide the shirt off her shoulders, hanging it over the back of another chair, before moving to remove the one he's wearing to give to her*
Buffy: *swallows* Your eyes are going gold. *raises a hand, wincing, and traces his forehead* and you're flashing bumps.
Spike: *draws in a ragged breath as he removes his shirt and slips it onto her* I'll be fine... Don't worry about me, luv... I can handle this thing.
Buffy: *smiles a little* I like the gold. *shrugs, and grimaces, the smiles again, slightly* I like the bumpies, too.
Spike: *blinks* You do?
Buffy: *nods*
Spike: If I may ask... why? And, do you want your pajama pants, or are the jeans okay? I'm willin' to help.
Buffy: *shakes head* The jeans are scraping the scratches. There are sweat pants in the drawer.
Buffy: I like it because it means your worried, and upset...and it feels good
Spike: If I may ask... why? And, do you want your pajama pants, or are the jeans okay? I'm willin' to help. (sorry if i'm repeatin' myself, but Tiger got kicked, and I don't have anything after this..*shrugs*)
Buffy: *shakes head* The jeans are scraping the scratches. There are sweat pants in the drawer.
Buffy: I like it because it means your worried, and upset...and it feels good
Spike: *small smile, turns to get the sweat pants out of the drawer* Oh. I always try to fight it... Sometimes I don't know when I do it, though.
Buffy: *quietly* when you went ballistic...it felt really good. I forgot what it feels like to have that happen in my defence. It's been a while. I liked it. *smiles wryly* I just didn't like the hole in the wall, which, by the way, you're paying for. Willow will want to know where it came from.
The following message could not be delivered to all recipients:
*shakes head* The jeans are scraping the scratches. There are ...
The following message could not be delivered to all recipients:
I like it because it means your worried, and upset...and it fee...
Spike: *small groan* Okay. I figured as much. *small smile as he returns with the pants* Maybe it's not such a bad thing, after all... If it can do something that makes you feel good.
Buffy: *pouts* ANd just two days ago, you were asking to help pay for stuff.
Spike: *soft chuckle* I know. And I'm gonna, don't worry, luv. I'm just sayin' that I didn't even really realize that I'd put a hole in the wall.. till after.
Spike: *rubs his knuckles absently* Kinda regretin' it now, though. That's the same bloody hand the punchin' bag nailed me on.
Buffy: Oh. *pulls the hand to her mouth and kisses it, slowly* Better?
Spike: *smiles* Much. *takes a moment to just stroke her cheek with the backs of his fingers* I love you, Buffy...
Buffy: *hums and smiles* *whispers* Love you too.
Buffy: *eyes pop open* I just said that didn't I?
Buffy: *gives him a worried look* You're not seeing a ghost right this minute, are you? I didn't just jinx us?
Spike: *mouth is hanging open slightly, and his eyes suddenly look almost lit from within* No ghost... *blinks rapidly, eyes obviously welling* Nothin' here but you... and me.. luv.
Buffy: *worried look gets worse* But something's wrong, isn't it? *glances around* Damn. I knew saying it would do something bad. I told you! *looks back at him* No voices or, or...spooky people singing songs?
Spike: *glances around the room, slow head shake* No.. Nothin' here. Nothin' wrong at all... *voice nearly cracks, blinks hard*
Buffy: *frowns* Are you sure? You don't seem ok. Are you ok?
Spike: *single tear makes it's way down his cheek, but he doesn't seem to notice* *reaches out to stroke her cheek again* *quietly, almost reverently* You said it... you love me...
Buffy: *bounces a little, ignoring the pain and glances around again* Nothing bad? Are you sure? *frowns at the tear* Are you hurt? Did something...SPIKE! What happened?
Spike: *small headshake* Nothing... and.. everything... *legs seem to give out, drops to his knees in front of the chair, still stroking her cheek* I'm just... can't discribe it... *smiles, lower lip trembling* I'm too happy... I can't.. barely breathe... *is trembling slightly and won't break eyecontact* Say it again? Please?
Buffy: *eyes widen and a scared look enters them* Spike, are you ok? You DON'T breathe. Why are you breathing? *starts to panick and grabs the hand stroking her cheek, holding it still* *Whispers* Please, I need a complete sentence. The last vampire I told I loved I had to send to hell because of her, and she's been haunting you. Please tell me something didn't happen just now?
Spike: *swallows, small nod* Okay.. I can do this.. Luv, I do breathe.. It requires air to talk. Vamp vocal cords still need it. It's become a reflex. *swallows* Nothing happened, Buffy. There's nothing in the house but you and me... You just said that you love me, and I'm on the verge of tears of happiness here... Please don't be scared. There's nothing wrong.
Buffy: You're sure? NOthing happened?
Spike: *slow nod* Nothing. Except that I think I just had a heart attack, s'all. But in a good way.
Buffy: You can't have a heart attack, it doesn't beat.
Buffy: *swallows* So, I didn't jinx us?
Spike: *small headshake* No. And, luv? For a vamp, a heart attack IS a heart beat. Well, more like a flutter. And that just happened to me. Only times it's happened in the past has been when I was bloody terrified... Never had it happen cause I was happy before.
Spike: *cocks head slightly* S'kinda a plesant feelin' actually.
Buffy: *eyes widen* I made your heart beat?
Spike: *small nod* Just.. like a little jump, really.
Buffy: but...*still wincing, reaches out and places a hand over his heart* I made it beat? Really? But I didn't do anything.
Spike: *smiles* *quietly* You did everything... I've been waiting to hear that for nearly three years, Buffy... *blinks hard again*
Buffy: *frowns, confused* But...I told you this two nights ago.
Spike: But you didn't SAY the words, Buffy... *swallows* You told me, but you didn't TELL me.
Spike: And, to tell you the truth, I almost had a heart attack at that. So it's not a real suprise that the actual words pushed the old muscle over the edge.
Buffy: *quietly* And I told you why. What I was afraid of. And I thought you understood.
Spike: *nods* I do understand but... *looks around* Nothing happened.
Buffy: *frowns at him, still scared* Not yet. But it still might.
Buffy: I...I let my guard down. I didn't even know I was saying it.
Buffy: That's when something bad happens. That's ALWAYS when something bad happens. *voice starts to sound slightly hysterical* Spike, I didn't know I was saynig it! I didn't...I wasn't paying attention. That's when stuff...that's when it happens. When I don't realize I'm doing it, I lose. The things or people I love get ripped away, when I'm not paying attention, like just now.
Spike: Buffy.. Buffy... Shhhh... *grips her shoulders gently, but firmly, and brings their foreheads together, staring into her eyes* Look at me. Focus on me. Listen to what I'm saying. Nothing. Bad. Has. Happened. Nothing. Bad. Will. Happen. Do you hear me?
Buffy: *breathing hard* You don't know that. And something bad already happened to you.
Buffy: She's already been haunting you. The next thing you know, I'll be out on some cliff again, trying to talk my vampire lover out of waiting for the sunrise. And I don't think I can go through that again, Spike! I can't almost lose you, let alone ACTUALLY lose you. What if I don't get there in time? What if she convinces you? You've already asked me to stake you once!
Spike: *leans forward a little more, touching their noses for an instant, before rocking back, still on his knees in front of her* Okay, luv. I'm only going to say this once, too. I. Am not. Angel. I'm not going anywhere. Your children's children's children are gonna have to put up with me watchin' over them. You know I don't break my promises. And I promise you. I swear on my SOUL, that I won't leave.
Spike: And she's gone. I haven't seen her since the wheel, and I don't think I'm ever gonna see her again. Buffy, listen to me. If you think that I'd ever kill myself, after you've told me that you love me, then I'm not the one who's crazy. I promise you, I'm with you till the end of the world. *touches foreheads again* You hear me? Till the end of the world.
Buffy: *sniffles and closes eyes* We went to see you and you were gone. and Clem didn't know when you'd be back. You didn't even leave a note.
Buffy: *sniffles again and ignores the fact that she's crying* And you didn't come back. You never told me when you did. I had to find out from ghost things, and then you told me to leave...
Spike: *quietly* Buffy.. things are different now, and you know it... I barely even knew where I was down there.. Barely even knew what or who I was, for that matter... And you know why I had to leave... Clem did give you my message, didn't he? That I WOULD be back? I told him to tell you...
Buffy: He said he wasn't sure. *sniffles and clutches at his shirt, shivering a little*
Spike: *slides one hand between them to button the still open shirt around her* I told him, word for word, that I was coming back. I didn't know when, because I didn't know how long the trials would last.. and I anticipated a month or so before the soul settled in... *quieter* Didn't know that it'd still be settlin' six months afterwards... *sighs* But I told him to tell you that I'd be back.
Spike: And, frankly? Now I'm kinda mad at him.
Buffy: *shrugs* It was a hectic night. Willow going nuts. It was all kinda blurry. You not being there was really enough to panic me.
Buffy: I don't even really remember what he said, exactly. *winces as the shirt rubs against an open cut and swallows* And right now I'm feeling way too pathetic to care.
Spike: You've calmed down a bit though, right? *very concerned* Do you want me to go get you some water? Or milk? Milk is good to calm you down. Especially chocolate milk.
Buffy: *shakes head* I'm fine. *swallows* Can we do the pants now? *looks down at the jeans* I think these are just making the problem worse.
Spike: *small nod* Okay.. Uh. What do you want me to do?
Buffy: *frowns at him, then nods* Nevermind. I can do it. You don't have to. *stands and grabs the sweatpants*
Spike: *stands up slowly, something in his back popping, causing a small wince* Ow. Damn old bones. *sighs* *looks at her concernedly* Do you think you need new underwear, too? I can get some... Saw some in the drawer... *small shrug*
Buffy: *shakes head* No. I get it. Just let me change. You can wait outside, if that makes it better.
Spike: *shakes head* No.. I kinda want to stay in here... I'll turn my back, though... Unless that'd make you uncomfortable, in which case I can go outside... and I'm rambling. Sorry.
Buffy: *shrugs and looks down at the jeans, taking a deep breath* Whatever. You don't have to look. You can...whatever
Spike: *moves over to the bed and sits on the end, looking at.. the wall paper, apparently* Okay.
Buffy: *watches him for a minute, looking kind of hopeful, the sighs* OK. *reaches down and starts to undo the button*
Spike: *upon hearing the zipper, glances over out of the corner of his eye, slowly turning his head to follow the direction of his gaze, head slightly cocked*
Buffy: *slids the pants down, wincing as they scrape over the endless scratches running down her legs*
Spike: *bed springs creak a little as he shifts to watch her, a low, dangerous growl beginning to rumble from his throat as the scratches are revealed*
Buffy: *kicks the pants away and surveys the damage for a minute, tracing one to the pantyline where it dissapears underneath. Sighs and turns to look for the sweatpants she dropped*
Spike: *has picked up the pants and is holding them out to her, still growling quietly, eyes glowing slightly in the semi-darkened room*
Buffy: *stares at the hand with the pants for a minute before seeming to snap out of it.* thanks. *Takes them and moves to the bed, sitting carefully. Wincing, lifts a leg and slips it into the pants, hissing as the bend knee manages to open one of the cuts*
Spike: *gets up slowly, moving to stand in front of her* *quietly* Hold your legs out, luv. *gently seizes the waistband of the pants with both hands* I'm gonna ease 'em on for you.
Buffy: *looks at him, frowning* I thought you didn't want to help?
Spike: *small smile* Not that I don't want to, luv... I was kinda worried about.. how did you put it? Goin' ballistic again... *glances down at the scratches, eyes flashing gold* Which is still a possibility... but I think that I've got it under control.
Buffy: *smiles slightly* Your eyes are gold again.
Spike: *small sigh* Well... Can't help that at the moment... Probably not gonna be able to turn it off for a bit, too. But that's okay... I can see better like this.
Buffy: *smiles again* I told you...I like it.
Buffy: *holds out legs and bits lip* I think one of them's bleeding again.
Spike: *glances down* Hmm... Not much, but yeah... *looks up at her* Uh.. I can close it, but, given what happened last time, I don't know if I should.
Buffy: *swallows* I'm not sure which will hurt more.
Spike: *ducks head* Yeah. That's what I'm worried about, luv. *blinks* But, I have an idea.
Spike: *cocks head, golden eyes glowing* Might seem kinda weird, but it should work about the same.
Buffy: *nods and winces again, slowly bringing a hand up to her neck* OK
Spike: *moves to the side of the bed, gets a box of kleenex, and brings it back* *pulls one tissue out of the box, and glances at her* Don't get grossed out, okay, luv? I'm gonna.. spit on the kleenex.
Buffy: Ok.
Spike: *brings the kleenex to his mouth, letting a little spit onto it, then leans down and wipes the cut with the kleenex, smiling with fangs when it closes right in before their eyes* Well. That worked better than I'd hoped.
Buffy: *swallows and closes eyes pressing legs together. Gasps and winces, muttering* Well, there's one question answered
Spike: *ducks head* Sorry.
Buffy: *pants a little, half in pain* Not your fault. Mine. How many slayers get turned on by this? Just me. *groans and winces* Oh, not good.
Spike: *small chuckle* I'm really sorry, luv... And most Slayers, I'd imagine. You know, quite a few met their demise's in a vamp's bed. Anything I can do?
Buffy: No. Anything I can think of will just hurt more.
Spike: *slow nod* Should I try to get the pants up now? Or do you want to pull them up on your own?
Buffy: I think you should do it. TL has to get offline soon, and I'm thinking bed.
Buffy: *looks at him, frowning* These should be healed a bit ny tomorrow, right?
Buffy: by
Spike: *nods* Should be completely healed by tomorrow night, if you call in sick to work tomorrow... Uh.. today.
Buffy: I'll have to. Everytime I move, I seem to make it worse.
Spike: *small nod* Yeah... *helps her pull the pants the rest of the way up, then lifts her into his arms and lays her on the bed carefully* Better?
Buffy: Yeah. *tugs his arm* Lie with me 'till I fall asleep?
Spike: *smiles* Of course... *climbs into the bed next to her* Unfortunatly, I've only got about twenty minutes before Tiger's gonna kick me offline. She's only been lettin' me stay this long cause she's worried about you.
Buffy: *smiles a little* I have less. Five minutes, I've been told.
Buffy: Are you still sad she's gone? *looks up at him* Honestly. I know you're mad...but are you still upset?
Spike: *takes deep breath* Yeah. Kinda. But I skipped from step two to step five. I somehow thought that it would hurt more... *small shrug* I guess bein' with you is helpin' alot.
Buffy: *nods, suppressing the wince* OK. *slowly moves closer, trying to snuggle without hurting herself*
Spike: *reaches carefully to stroke her cheek for a moment, before gingerly putting an arm around her* If this hurts at all, you tell me... *nuzzles her hair a little*
Buffy: *sighs and closes eyes, breathing into his chest* Not at the moment, no. *hums a little and inches closer, rubbing a leg against his*
Spike: *quietly* Uh, luv?
Buffy: hmm?
Spike: Do I.. *blinks* I'm feelin' kinda sleepy, and I can't tell if I'm still.. fangy.
Buffy: *opens eyes and peaks up* No. Not bumpy. Still got the gold eyes though. *smiles* It's nice *closes eyes and nuzzles his chest again* Feels safe.
Spike: *small smile* Oh. That explains why I can talk normal, but can still see as if there are about four extra lights on in here. Rather than.. well, none.
Buffy: *sleepily* I'm gonna go to sleep now, ok?
Spike: *small nod* Okay... me too, actually.. Red'll have to deal when she gets back in three hours, cause I'm not movin'.
Buffy: *mumbles* Good. Night. *sighs and snuggles a little closer*
Spike: *small, very soft purr, nuzzles her gently, golden eyes drifting closed* Night... *mumbled* Love you...
Buffy: *whispered* Love you too.
Spike: *whispered after he knows she's asleep* ...I know...