BROKEN GLASS, SHATTERED LIVES

August 29, 1995

0 Hour

MICHAELANGELO:

"Get down!"

I shielded the small children who were staring blankly at the dark building. The earthquake brought them to their knees and a sudden burst of intense heat surrounded me. The sound was deafening as the sudden force catapulted me a good ten feet forward. I didn't forget about the children, but I couldn't do anything for them. They were thrown carelessly, like leaves falling from a tree were carried on the wind.

I landed on my hands and knees, and rolled instinctively to the side to lessen the impact and prevent broken bones. Glass shattered and rained down on me, and I turned onto my stomach as quickly as I could, covering my face instinctively. I choked on smoke and ash as a white-hot explosion ripped through the hallways and consumed everything in its path. The building crumbled, disintigrated bricks giving way to the intense weight on top of them.

I scrambled to get further across the street, tearing the flesh on my hands to shreds. I knew it, but I didn't feel a thing. The ground shook violently as the eight story building fell nearly on top of me. Thick dust surrounded me, and I tried not to think of the children that had been closer than I was to the explosion.

Suddenly, it was quiet. No, not quiet. I could hear children crying, people screaming, car alarms echoing on the night air. The tinkle of glass as it continued to rain from the sky. But the explosion had died. I wondered how many innocent lives it had taken with it.

I pushed myself up on my hands and knees and coughed deeply as I struggled for air. I looked up, and saw smoke. I saw bodies. I saw bleeding children. I felt sick to my stomach, and struggled to shut off my emotions, like I'd been taught. "Raphael!" I called. "Leo! Donny!"

I coughed again as I pulled myself up. I could feel the glass cut into my feet. But it wasn't pain. I felt numb. A child caught my eye and I felt what little air I could manage to take in squeezed from my lungs. Forgetting everything else, I knelt at her side. "Hey," I choked. My voice was hoarse. My throat burned. I didn't know what to feel, so I tried to feel nothing as my eyes remained locked with the little girl's. She wasn't more than three. "Hey, it's okay," I whispered, trying to convince myself as much as her.

She was bleeding from her mouth and nose, and her left arm was burned from shoulder to wrist. Below her left ankle, there was nothing. "Owie," she gasped. "Owie, owie... Got owie..."

My eyes stung. My vision blurred. "It's okay," I whispered. I untied my mask and wrapped it around her bleeding wound, trying to stop the bloodflow. She screamed, and I blocked it out. When I rose to face her again, I took her hand. "It's okay, what's your name?" I pleaded. "Do you have a name?"

"Mmm..." she struggled. "Ma...."

"Mary?" I guessed.

"Mmmarie..."

I squeezed her hand gently. "Hey, Marie," I greeted. "My name's Mike. Just hang in there, Marie, you're gonna be okay."

"Michaelangelo!"

I looked up. "Over...!" I choked as I took in a breath full of dust. "Over here!"

"Mommy..."

I looked back down at the little girl. "Hang in there Marie," I coughed. I could hardly speak. "Just hold on..."

"Mommy... heaven..."

"Mike!" Raphael appeared beside me and grabbed my arm. "Mike, come on!"

"Daddy..."

I fought against my brother, my heart breaking as the little girl's eyes slid closed. "Marie!"

"Mike now!"

She was gone.

I looked up and met my brother's intense stare. "Mike, the police are here, they have ambulances, they'll take care of it!"

I looked back down at the lifeless figure, and choked again. Raphael pulled me to my feet. I did nothing to help him, but I didn't fight either. I couldn't take my eyes off the little girl. "Michaelangelo!"

He put his hands on my cheeks and turned my face to him. "Mikey, she's gone," he informed me. His voice echoed with pain and grief. "We have to go. Please. Now."

I could not get my emotions under control. I didn't try. I nodded slightly, and stumbled toward the alley, where Leo and Don had already disappeared below ground.

LEONARDO:

Splinter was awake. He looked up as all four of us stumbled into the lair, bleeding and nearly collapsed from exhaustion and smoke inhalation. We hadn't said a word to each other, and I hoped Sensei wouldn't prompt conversation. I wasn't sure what would come out of my mouth, much less Raphael's.

Splinter said nothing. He stood and walked to the bathroom. We stared at each other for a moment, then Raphael slowly walked to the couch, leaving a trail of blood behind him. His feet, like all of ours, were cut by the glass and debris. We'd stopped to take the larger pieces out, but it only made the bloodflow worse. I suppose it helped the pain. Logically, it would. But in honesty, I felt nothing but the adrenaline burning like fire in my veins. "I'm still high on adrenaline, Leo, give it a few minutes." I'd never understood my brother's words so much as I did now.

Michaelangelo broke first. He collapsed in a heap on the living room floor and cried. I found myself staring at him, as if I were wondering why he was crying. My mind knew, but it was too much for the rest of me to comprehend. I looked to my other brothers for... what? Help? An explanation? No, just... feeling. I felt like nothing, totally numb. I actually wished I could feel the pain; maybe it would help me to snap out of this state... whatever it was.

Donatello was crying silent tears, staring blankly at the wall. Raphael held his hand up slowly and watched in fascination as blood ran from his palm, over his wrist and forearm, to his elbow. He couldn't feel it, I knew. He was just as numb as I was.

Splinter returned. His eyes fell to me. "Sit," he ordered.

It was all he said. I obeyed like a robot, without feeling, without emotion. He handed me a damp towel and I stared at it for a moment before realizing its purpose. I raised my right foot onto my left knee, and watched the blood drip to the floor and pool at my other foot. I realized I was breathing. The air burned as it entered and exited my lungs. It smelled like death as it flowed out of me, tainted by the dust captivated there. I smelled the destruction. I tasted the blood. I heard the quiet sobbing. I felt.

I broke.