Disclaimer: I don't own Star Wars! Just Aisling and Beth! Leave me alone!

Author: Is this really necessary at this stage?

Okay, I was in a bit of a mood when I wrote this so it probably isn't as funny as the other ones. I apologize in advance! But I've been wanting to do some Leia-bashing for a while seeing as everyone seems to prefer Luke- bashing to Leia-bashing. What can I say? I'm not normal.

Basically Beth and Aisling are still with the Rebels and Vader looses his patience a few times. Oh and Leia-bashing. Do enjoy and as always, review.

Major thanks to SummerRose (prev Nory, Biblehermione, Lgirl, Annoying Brat, Annoying Brat again, (thanx for idea btw!), Neko Megami, Drama- Princess87, Andy. You love me! You really love me! And you actually waded through all of that unformatted crap to prove it. *sniff* I feel so appreciated! Hope you like!

Why are reading this and not reading the story?

'Oh don't start that again.'

 'Why not?' They were still in the room with Madine, Mon Mothma, Leia and Dodonna and now with Luke stationed, at the moment, in the corner. 'Cos you know that Voldemort could kick Vaders armoured arse from here to Pluto?'

 'No! Cos until you see Vader beating Wizard boys snaky arse you wont believe me when I tell you that a piece of wood and feather is no match for the Force.'

 'You gonna seriously tell me that an invisible substance is a match for a wizard of Voldemorts magnitude.'

 'No, I'm telling you that the Force, the energy-field which gives the Jedi their powers, surrounds us, penetrates us and binds the galaxy together is not only far more than a match for pathetic parasitic life-forms like Voldemort but when controlled by Force-users like Obi Wan Kenobi, Anakin Skywalker or indeed Darth Vader it blows every single Witch Wizard Auror Mage Clairvoyant and every other dammed category in existence since the dammed start of Witchcraft and Wizardry straight out of the dammed water!' 

There was silence for a moment as everyone in the room recovered from Aislings increasingly infuriated speech.

 'What the hell?' Beth began. Luke, sensing Aislings rapidly slipping grip on her temper, cut Beth off by asking who or what Voldemort was.

Beth grinned maniacally and drew a deep breath.

 'Well Voldemort is this really evil wizard, who's really called Tom Riddle. He went bad like, fifty years ago and went round with his Death-Eaters, sorta like intelligent troopers.'

 'Now, there's a contradiction in terms,' Aisling commented.

 'Shut up. Anyway, they went around killing lots of other wizards until Halloween 1981 when he killed Lily and James Potter and then attempted to kill their year-old son Harry but it backfired and he was turned into a kinda parasite. He's fought Harry three times since, as a parasite on the back on Professor Quirrells head and then in a book diary thing and then in Goblet of Fire he regenerated and killed Cedric Digory and nearly killed that damn Potter who escaped. Again!'

 'You can tell how overcome with joy she is at this fact,' Aisling added dryly, as Beth switched trains of thought.

 'But I like his best friend Ron Weasley,' Beth went on, completely ignoring Aisling. 'Ron is 15 and has red hair and is the youngest of six boys. He has one younger sister, Ginny. He's totally made for Hermione but neither will admit it. And did I say he's a total babe?' Aisling caught Lukes eye and grimaced at him for starting her off. Luke shrugged it off, though he ducked his head to avoid the death-glares thrown his way from the other Rebels who by now had heard this litany far too many times. 'I mean he's get this gorgeous red hair you just want to run your fingers through and these cerelulean eyes that you just want to fall into. And he's an excellent Wizard Chess player and a total hottie. And he's intelligent too, cos I mean he manages to keep up with 'Mione. Oh and one last thing, he is fine!'

Aisling heaved a silent sigh of relief, giving thanks to whatever may be listening that she hadn't gone on to the other Weasley men.

 'And then there's Geo,' Beth began, but continued on as 'Mmph. Mmph, Mmmph!' due to Aislings hand being clamped across her mouth.

 'Shut it!' Aisling hissed, then yelped as Beth bit on her fingers viciously.  'Whore-bitch!' she yelled.

 'You put your hand across my mouth!' Beth growled. 'God only knows where its been!' She smirked at Luke. 'Well, maybe one place its been.'

 'You were only gonna go on about George and Force knows I'm sick of that! "George is fine!" ' she said, mimicking Beth in full adoration mode. ' "George has lovely eyes, lovely hair, lovely whatever!" ' she snarled.

 'Fine,' Beth huffed. 'If I cant talk about him, I'm gonna look at him.' She retreated into the corner with her wallet. After a few seconds giggles and "Mmm George!"s could be indistinctly heard.

 'Er, yeah,' Aisling said. 'You don't want to go there. Anywhere near there. In fact, get an MSE droid or something in there when she's done. Nothing biological should go near her for about,' she paused, calculating. 'Two hours. But maybe a trooper would be good.'

 'Hehe troopers,' Beth giggled. There was a pause. 'Hey!'

Aisling swiftly got behind Luke, while she still could.   

 'So Beth,' Luke said in a vain attempt to prevent another fight. 'Will you show me this picture?'

 'Gods, those Tatooine suns really fried your brain,' Aisling muttered. Luke glared, and threatened to leave her without shelter from Beth.

 'You really want to see it?' Beth asked suspiciously.

 'Huh? Yeah,' Skywalker replied turning back to her. He reached out for the picture then pulled his hand back similar to Beths when she had reached for the "pretty buttons."

 'Don't touch,' Beth scolded, before holding the picture up. 'See, he's gorgeous and he's in his Quidditch gear. Lovely. He's a beater for Gryffindor. I'm a Gryffindor too and she's,' a glance at Aisling, 'A Slytherin, but we cant all be perfect,' she added graciously.

 'If perfection has you included,' Aisling retorted. 'Then I want none of it.'

 'I'm insulted.'

 'You were supposed to be.' Beth glared at Aisling, then turned the picture over to show Draco.

 'See that? That's what she fancies.' Luke looked at the photo then at Aisling.

 'He's a child.' Beth smirked.

 'So's Ron,' Aisling replied, shrugging. Beth glared.

 'Well at least I got to get with George.'

 'You?' Aisling asked, perplexed. 'Oh yeah, the look-a-like,' she sniggered. Luke looked at her oddly; he could sense the deceit.

 'Hey, he was the exact double, that's all I cared about.' Beth frowned in memory. 'Weren't you supposed to meet the Draco look-a-like yesterday?'

 'Huh?' Aisling frowned, then she remembered. 'Oh Force! That's right! And I was here! And I couldn't meet him!' Aisling promptly started cursing every Rebel in existence, hoping that Beth didn't notice the slip. Luke looked at her.

 'You're…' he meant to say lying, but the killing look shot his way from Aisling made the word lodge in his throat.

 'Ah well,' Aisling sighed after a few minutes when her breath ran out. 'At least I got something good out of it,' she finished, smiling up at Luke. Beth started coughing and gagging madly. Aisling raised an eyebrow, smiled sweetly and said one word.

 'Xizor.'

One hour later.

 'When are we getting rid of those two?!' Leia cried, rubbing at a bacta patch that covered her left eye.

 'If I have anything to do with it,' Dodonna growled, slapping a dose of perigen on his right side under the ribs. ''Three days ago.' That off-hand mention of the Faleen prince had immediately resulted in a free-for-all that dragged in all the occupants of the room, all the occupants of the listening post and a few unfortunate individuals that had done nothing more than be in the corridor outside when the fight spilled out.

It finally took the full authority of Chewie, Chewies bowcaster and Admiral Ackbar to stop the fight, but mainly Chewie and the bowcaster.

Aisling was sat on the floor; trying to restore order to her hair -remarkably both she and Beth were unscathed- and Beth was currently being held away from Luke who was still laughing maniacally over her cringe fit, despite a thick lip from persons unknown.

 'Listen you incestuous blonde-haired whinge! I only screwed him cos I didn't know at first! I haven't done him again!' Aisling made a strangled noise and Beth shot her a look for even thinking of interrupting her tangent. 'And furthermore,' she paused. 'Aw Aisling! I lost my train of thought! Where was I?'

 'Talking about George?' Luke offered; he hadn't been listening. Everyone within arm reach of the Jedi-in-training belted him for it.

 'Really?' Cause I think I'd remember if I was talking about him,' Beth frowned, not noticing how Luke was getting beat up.

 'You zoned,' Luke said, glaring at his fellow rebels.

 'Are you sure? Anyway, yeah George is like a total finer,' everyone groaned and used Luke as a punch-bag again. 'And all thanks to Vader.' Beth stopped and made a face similar to a kicked puppy. 'I miss Vader. When can we go home?'

 'Home?' Aisling asked, amazed.

 'Yeah, home to Vader and the troopers and my sorta boyfriend from the Avenger and my bed and the fridge-cooker thing. And the shops and pubs.'

 'You call Imperial City home?' Luke asked, curious.

 'Hell yeah,' Beth answered, ignoring Aisling look of disgust. 'Cause Eellan Piett, my sort of on-again-off-again boyfriend, is here, unless they left.' She whirled on the Rebels. 'If he's gone before I see him again, so help me I will break all your fingers and toes and then take a sledgehammer to your ankles knees and wrists. Then I'll cut little slits in your skin and rub sodium chloride in them' She crossed her arms and arched an eyebrow. 'And then I'll start on the painful stuff.'

Aisling grabbed her friend and pulled her aside.

 'Piett, as in Captain Piett?' she asked, knowing that the language she spoke wasn't understood by any.

 'No, Piett as in "Sergeant that uniform gives away nothing" Piett.'

 'Sergeant?' Aisling repeated, puzzled. 'But? How old is this guy?' Beth shrugged.

 'About 20 or thereabouts.'

 'Huh?' Aisling was confused. Then understanding dawned. 'Ah, right. His dads Captain Piett.'

 'Yeah, didn't I tell you that?'

 'Beth, I only just found out that you consider him a boyfriend. How am I supposed to know the guys family tree?'

 'You're the expert here,' Beth replied, turning away. 'I assumed you knew.'

 'Why are you still living?' Aisling muttered in Basic, as her friend joined Luke and Wedge.

 \Is she talking about Beth or herself?\ Chewie wondered to himself.

 'Both,' Aisling snarled.

*~*

Vader slammed the door to his quarters on the Avenger in the face of yet another dammed courier. He was growing increasingly impatient with all these calls for his attention. Not half-an-hour ago a lieutenant had lead him to the bridge to tell him about a blind spot in the sensors. The blind spot directly behind the bridge that was noted in the ships blue-prints and was now a part of training to compensate for. And he had been dragged to the bridge to be told that! He had Force-choked the officer in the hope that it would discourage similar stupidity. Not a hope in hell. It seems the Emperor had secretly ordered every officer, EVERY officer on the ship to make sure that he, Vader, had not more than two milli-seconds to draw breath at a time!

In the end he had simply stormed back to his quarters and slammed the door. He felt like a dammed Padawan again.

Ignoring the persistent calling of a foolhardy young captain, Vader stood and relaxed, seeking the focus that he needed. Within a minute he had it and began the search.

*~*

Working on pure automatic, the captain raised his hand again, fully expecting it to be ripped off at the shoulder and rammed down his throat.

Then the door opened and shut again, the Sith Lord striding past the captain so quickly that the officer was sent flying into the wall.

Vader halted, turned and went back to the officer. Raising his hand, he lifted the captain to his feet with the Force, dusted off the mans' uniform and set the cap right on his head.

The captain looked up at the armoured Sith and managed a rather shaky salute. Vader nodded and turned away. Breaking the captains neck as he went.

*~*

Vader strode down to the docking bays. He knew that if he went through the usual procedure of securing his shuttle, there was little doubt that it would suffer from a sudden fault. Though he could probably fix it in a few minutes, he didn't have the patience to not kill everyone on board if that happened. So he just went to secure the shuttle himself.

He paused as he passed the troopers mess. He would probably need a few guns.

*~*

The, currently off-duty, lieutenant nearly choked on his drink when he saw the Dark Lord walk in the door. Vader never came near any of the messes on board, not even the senior officers. What the hell was he doing here?

The Sith looked around the room, trying to find four troopers that weren't too drunk or asleep. The gloved hand shot out.

 'You. You. You and you. Come with me.'

With a heart-felt groan the lieutenant finished his ale and put his helmet back on, joining his fellow 'volunteers,' at growling obscenities at the cheers by those lucky enough not to be sober. 

The Sith Lord was waiting impatiently outside the door. He handed four blaster rifles to the troopers and set off toward the hangers, clearly expecting them to follow.

The troopers didn't look at each other, just got into form and followed the black-clad figure.

What else could they do?

*~*

Aisling rubbed her arms and glanced at the ceiling.

 'Dammit,' she sighed.

 'What is it?' Luke asked her, coming over.

 'Oh, nothing really. Just someone tap-dancing on my grave,' she said wryly. Luke smiled, then chewed on his lower lip. He clearly had something to say, Aisling waited to hear it.

 'A while ago,' he said at last. 'You mentioned my father, Anakin Skywalker,' he added, seeing the frown cross Aislings face.

 'Oh, yeah. What of it?'

 'Did you know him?' Aisling took a moment to think. This was tricky ground she was on. If she lied, Luke would sense it and if she told the truth… Well she just couldn't tell the truth.

 'I knew him by reputation,' she said at last. 'Not in person.'

 'Then what was his reputation?' Luke pressed. 

 'Er, strong in the Force, quick to help if required, a good swordsman though not as good as he thought. Um,' she paused, wondering what to tell him. 'He had several weaknesses though he tried not to let them hold him back. Look,' she said facing him. 'There must be someone who knew him better than I who could tell you properly.' Luke shrugged.

 'Not really, most who knew him died on the Clone Wars or because of the Empire or are in the Empire.' Aisling sighed.

 'Like I said I didn't know him that well, I don't know what I can tell you.'

 'All you know,' Luke grinned. 'That's all.' *Right* Aisling thought. *That's really gonna happen*

 'Well,' she began again. 'He was a thrill-seeker. He scared the living Force out of Obi Wan whenever they were in any kind of transport that Anakin was driving. You know he was native to Tatooine, right?' Luke nodded. 'Right, but he came from Mos Eisley, he lived with his mother in, er, um, that's to say,' she floundered. 'He raced Pods as a child,' she covered with. 'Only won the one though, hell only finished the one but he somehow managed to emerge with all limbs and brains intact so that's okay.'

 'What were you going to say?' Luke interrupted her with.

 'Hmm? Oh, er. Anakin Skywalker, er, your father was, um.' She took a breath. 'He was a slave. He and his mother, your grandmother, were first owned by Gardulla the Hutt but they were lost to Watto when Anakin was three.' 

 'A slave?' Luke repeated, shocked. 'My father was a slave?'

 'He can't have been!' Leia denied, turning to them from a conversation with Dodonna.

 'And why not Princess?' Aisling asked calmly. 'Because you say so?' Leia narrowed her eyes at her.

 'Because slavery was banned in the Republic.' Aisling snorted.

 'In case you haven't noticed, Tatooine is a bit out of the way, right out on the edge of the Outer Rim to be exact. And no-one in the Core Worlds cared a damn about anything that wasn't in the Inner Rim.'

 'But the Senate would have noticed this and put a stop to it,' Leia stated. Aisling raised an eyebrow at her, realizing that the other woman really believed it.

 'Maybe at the beginning of the Republic they might have. At the end, hell no they wouldn't. And do you know why? Because the Senate was full of politicians and bureaucrats who cared far more for lining their bottomless pockets than anything else. Especially planets that are more than a day of hyperspace from Coruscant.'

 'But,' then Leia paused. 'Ah, Imperial propaganda strikes again.'

 'No,' Aisling replied, shaking her head. 'Just plain old truth.'

 'From your point of view.'

 'From the only dammed point of view that matters, your royal highness. You never saw the Republic Senate, did you? Never saw how mired it was in procedure and debate and bloody foolishness. The few, and they were few, politicians like Padme Amidala Naberrie and Bail Organa were surrounded by so much red tape and protocols so that no matter what way they went in trying to do something to actually help the people they were there to represent, the other ones who were either paid off or otherwise corrupt slammed so much paperwork and, and committees in their way that couldn't lift a dammed finger to save themselves!'

 'Are you saying that the Empire is better?' Leia asked, while Aisling got her breath back.   

 'No, I'm not,' Aisling replied. 'All I'm telling you is this; believe your deluded perceptions of the Republic and the Senate if you wish. I have no doubt that its one of the few things that keep you going, but understand one thing. The Republic would not, could not have continued as it was and it was far too rotten to change. The whole galaxy was falling apart by the time of the Clone Wars and while this was aided by the Sith, it would have happened anyway.'

 'So you are saying that the Empire is better,' Leia said stubbornly. Aisling growled.

 'Listen to me and stop deciding how to react for one single dammed minute!' she hissed. 'This is exactly why it was so easy for Palpatine to trip the Republic, drop it flat on its face and shatter it into millions of pieces. The Republic was stagnant and falling apart. No-one stood with anyone else any more, or else they stood with the highest bidder. The politicians were no better than well-dressed mercenaries and the bureaucracies made sure it stayed that way. The Senate couldn't agree on the chemical composition of water for the love of Force! And Palpatine exploited it. So well in fact that by the time everyone woke up to the fact that the Empire controlled everything it was far too late.' She looked at the now silent princess. 'The Empire is not one of my most favourite institutions, but at least now there are only two sides.' She smiled sweetly at them, then went to find Beth, none too overjoyed.

 'Okay,' Beth said after a minute. 'Was there a point to that, or were you just indulging in some leader-bashing?'

 'A little of both,' Aisling replied. She glanced around to see if C3PO was anywhere near. He wasn't, but she knew that there was a bug in the wall near them, that would do.  'Beth,' she said in a low voice.

 'Yeah.'

 'Our armoured friend is on his way,' she muttered in one of the tongues that the Rebels couldn't understand. Beth nodded absently, then turned and looked at her friend.

 'Really?' she asked, in the same way. 'How do you know?' Aisling unconsciously rubbed her arms.

 'I'm not sure, but he should be here soon.'

 'Woohoo!' Beth yelled and started jumping around the room with glee.

 'What's up with her?' Han asked Aisling.

 'Oh, she just got told that by the time we get home,' Aisling replied in Basic. 'The dammed and cursed Leaving Cert will be done. Actually,' she added, frowning. 'We've been here for,' she paused, calculating. Then she grinned widely. 'The damn things over already! Woohoo!'

 'Leaving Cert?' Han repeated. 'What's the Leaving Cert?'

 'Really big tough exams set at the end of school that tests the knowledge learned

over two years in six subjects,' Aisling explained. 'And we wont have to do them! Ever! Hehehehehehehe!'  

 'Why not?' Leia asked, joining the conversation. 'Would you not re-do them when you go home?'

 'What, you really think you're the only one who can never go home, princess?' Aisling asked, grinning lop-sidedly. 'Even if we wanted to, we cant return to our home planet.'

 'What did the Empire do to it?' Leia asked, feeling a pang of empathy for the strange pair.

 'Its not what they did, it's what they would do.' Aisling shrugged. 'As far as we know, the Empire, hell the whole dammed galaxy has no knowledge of our solar system, never mind our planet.' She shrugged again and grinned slyly. 'We just, made sure it stayed that way.'

 'But how? The ships computer would have automatically recorded the exact co-ordinates,' Han stated. Then he stopped as Aislings grin got wider. 'You wiped the records?' he asked disbelievingly.

 'Well done, good sir,' Aisling giggled. 

 'Hey,' Beth said walking back over to them, having recovered from her hyperness. 'What's going on?'

 'Telling them that we wiped the Avengers' computer,' Aisling told her.

 'The whole computer?' Leia asked, awed.

 'Nah,' Beth said shaking her head. 'It was too highly protected for that. But we managed to wipe the, hyperspace?' she asked, looking at Aisling who nodded. 'Yeah the hyperspace records and co-ordinates.'

 'How the hell did you manage that?' Han asked.

 'Pulled the plug. We turned the ship off,' Beth added at their blank looks. 'It was easy really, just had to find the right buttons.' She looked at her friend who was grinning maniacally at the shocked looks on Han and Leias faces. 'They were such pretty buttons, weren't they?'

 'I dunno,' Aisling said. 'I was more interested in the men pushing them. But then we hopped into the system when they turned it back on and wiped the record board clean.' She sniggered. 'They still reckon it was a by-product of cutting the power.'

 'Think you can do that again?' Leia asked. The possibilities! They could cripple the Empire one ship at a time literally at the push of a button! Beth and Aisling shook their heads.

 'Sorry, no,' Aisling said. 'The technicians went into the system just as we got out and made it so that you have to know about twenty different passwords, which change every day, to even get near the dammed buttons. And they've modified every ship to be the same. There's no point in even trying' Aisling shrugged. 'But we did what we wanted, so we didn't care.'

 'Didn't care?' Leia repeated angrily. 'Have you any idea how much that could have helped us? To be able to switch off an Imperial ship! That could have won so many battles for us!'

 'Hey, relax princess,' Aisling said. 'You'll win your battles.' She said it with such certainty that Han and Leia looked at her quizzically. Aisling looked to behind Han. 'Your droid wants you,' she said, then turned away, taking Beth with her.

 'Your royal highness,' C3PO said, hurrying up to her. 'I have some urgent news.'

 'Yes what is it?' Leia asked, a bit impatiently.

 'I have just come from the listening post where I was analysing the information in case…'

 'Yeah ,yeah,' Han interrupted. 'What's the news?'

 'Well, Miss O' Connell was talking to Miss Walsh and she told her that their armoured friend was coming and that it would be soon.' Han and Leia looked at each other.

 'Vader,' Leia said grimly. 'Are you sure?' she asked C3-PO

 'Yes, they spoke in one of their own languages but fortunately it was one which I could translate.'

 'How do you know it wasn't a trick?' Han asked.

 'Well, they spoke consistently and it would appear that they had merely forgotten which one I can understand and chose the wrong one.'

 'What if it's a trick?' Han asked Leia.

 'We cant risk it. We have to evacuate and now.' She rushed to where Mon Mothma was talking with Admiral Ackbar. Swiftly she appraised them of the situation, while Han got Chewie and Luke.

Within minutes the Rebels were gone without a trace, disappeared into the depths of Imperial City. Leaving behind, in the ways of the multi-verse with regard to hasty moving, a few coffee cups and various miscellaneous -seemingly unimportant but once lost vitally significant- items strewn around the places they had been.

 'Er, okay,' Beth said, hearing a slight echo from the empty rooms. 'I could have sworn I left the Rebel Alliance down here somewhere.'

 'Could it have been something I said?' Aisling asked innocently, looking at the walls. The fleeing Rebels had even been able to take all the probes, leaving telltale holes all over the place. 'Guess they're well used to it by now,' she mused, glancing into the various and deserted rooms which, not fifteen minutes before, had been bustling hives of activity.

 'So what now?' Beth asked, closing doors as she walked back to her friend.

 'Now,' Aisling said, going into the room that they had first been put into. She grinned at the cracks in the walls from where the Rebels had finally succeeded in splitting them up. 'We wait.'

*~*

The lieutenant stared blankly out at the city. If Vader was doing what he thought he thought he was doing, he'd need all the strength he could muster.

The rest of the troopers must have thought the same way as they all clutched their rifles so tight they would probably leave finger marks on the blasters. The lieutenant kept his eye on one in particular, who seemed to be taking an inordinate interest in the muzzle of his weapon.

Over the comlink which was set in each troopers helmet the lieutenant heard a sighed, 'two thousand bottles of beer on the wall.' The officer turned slowly in his seat and eyed the troops. They stared back blankly, but the song stopped.

*That's another thing to look forward to, isn't it?* the officer thought sourly *That dammed song. And their giggling. And jokes. And innuendos and comments. And* the lieutenant stopped that train of thought as Vaders helmet moved slightly from the viewscreen.

Robbed even of the chance to think of exactly how many ways the two females irritated and terrified him, the officer turned his gaze back to the view of the planet-wide city. After this he was definitely going to join the Rebel scum.

*~*

Vader set the craft down on top of a building like any other in the planet-wide city. He exited the shuttle before the hatch was fully open and strode toward the elevator door, the troopers hurrying to keep up.

The four and the Sith stood in the ancient and horrendously slow elevator, silently watching the numbers crawl downwards, the music coming from a speaker in the top right corner slowly eating into their heads.

Finally, after about twenty levels, Vader reached up and pulled the speaker from the wall in a shower of sparks and a burst of static. When the smoke cleared, there were bundles of severed wires spilling out of the hole and the speaker was in Vaders gloved hand, faint wisps of smoke coming from the circuitry. The troopers very nearly gave a resounding cheer as they watched the Sith Lord crumple the useless speaker into a tiny ball of metal and wires. Instead they stood silent and straight, the rifles held across their chests as always.

There was silence for about another twenty levels, then over the comlinks came another murmured 'two thousand bottles of beer on the wall two thousands bottles of' There was a grunt as the trooper beside the one singing, rammed the stock of his rifle into a spot in the singing troopers side where the body armour didn't quite cover. Vader didn't turn around, but the troopers got the distinct impression that the Sith was relieved by the troopers prompt action.

Finally, after twenty minutes, Vader stopped the elevator and opened the door. The troopers marched obediently behind him, one favouring his right side.

As they strode toward where Vader knew Aisling and Beth to be, the Sith stretched out his senses to the limit. All he could detect were the two girls he was looking for, no sign of the Rebels at all. Odd. When he had discovered Aisling and Beths location, the whole building had been crawling with Rebels. Now there was not one to be found. They had been here, that was for sure. There were signs of them everywhere. The Rebels had been there right up to, Vader calculated the time, fifteen minutes before they had arrived. Which means they had been tipped off.

The Sith Lord walked faster, not noticing how the troopers had to nearly run to stay with him. If Beth or Aisling had alerted the Rebels, they were in serious trouble.

*And this time* Vader thought. *They'll stay punished*

*~*

Aisling looked toward the door, just before Vader walked in.

 'Vader!' Beth squealed, running towards him. Vader however, having learnt from the last time, created a barrier that Beth ran straight into. 'Hey!' she cried, hitting it experimentally. 'Can you teach me how to do that?'  

 'Not likely,' Aisling said, getting up from her cross-legged position on the floor. 'You kind of have to be force-sensitive to do stuff like that. You know, using the Force.'

 'Really?' Beth gasped in mock-shock. 'I did not know that!'

 'Yes, you'd be amazed at how much you don't know,' Aisling commented dryly, then quickly moved out of range.

 'The Rebels,' Vader said, his foot tapping the floor. 'Where did they go?'

 'Well hello to you too,' Aisling said, turning to him. 'I'm fine how are you?'

 'The Rebels,' he repeated. 'Where. Are. They?'

 'The?' Beth asked, looking quizzically at her friend. 'Were they the guys that left about, I dunno, half-an-hour ago?'

 'You, know I think they might have been,' Aisling replied. 'Weren't they the guys that commandeered our speeder, brought us here, and stopped us from leaving?'

 'I think so, but I'm not sure,' Beth said thoughtfully. She turned back to Vader. 'How's "yes" for an answer?'

 'Troopers,' Vader snapped. 'Fan out and look for anything that may point towards where the Rebels have gone.' The troopers smartly stood to attention then turned and left, not so much to follow orders as to get out of the way of Beth and Aisling.

'You know,' Aisling said. 'That probably wont help.'

 'Why not?' Vader asked. 'Do you know where they went?'

 'Oh yeah like the Rebel Alliance are going to tell two people who are known acquaintances with Darth Vader and stay at the Palace, where they're making their next base.' Aisling paused. 'In other words, no. What I meant was, it wont be much help because the average trooper could pick up a 2-d map of the galaxy where ten planets are circled in thick red ink and marked 'Rebel bases' and they still wont have a damn clue as to what's going on.'

 'Its keeps them occupied,' Vader stated, shrugging.  Beth had clearly been pondering something while the other two talked. Now she nudged her friend with her elbow.

 'Yeah?' Aisling asked. Beth nodded in the direction of the door where the troopers had been a few minutes before.

 'Did one of them look familiar to you?' Both Vader and Aisling gave her an odd look, though in the case of Vader it was no different than all his other looks.

 'Er yes, because they're troopers,' Aisling told her. 'They all look the same.'

 'No, one was very familiar.' Vader glanced at Aisling who shrugged.

 'Nope, they all look the same to me.'

 'I wonder where I know him from,' Beth muttered. 'Vader,' she said after a moment. 'Is there a lieutenant among them?'

 'Yes,' he replied. 'Why?' Now Aisling was looking at the doorway thoughtfully.

 'Can you get him to come back?' Vader rolled his eyes unseen and did so. After a few minutes the lieutenant came in the door and stood before the three.

 'You see?' Beth asked triumphantly. 'I knew it!'

 'I still cant place him,' Aisling said, frowning. 'I know him from somewhere but I cant place him.'

 'The flight to the Avenger,' Beth told her. 'Wasn't it?' she asked the officer, who nodded in shock

 'Hey you're right,' Aisling said. 'Never thought I'd say that.' Vader looked from Beth to Aisling to the trooper back to Beth.

 'Trooper dismissed,' he said. Then when the lieutenant made his escape, 'Huh?'

 'That's the lieutenant who was in charge of the troopers that you sent to bring us on board the Avenger,' Aisling explained patiently, reasonably patiently. 'Remember?' Vader stared at them. Even he hadn't spotted that. How the hell did they manage it? A large and painful headache was beginning to make itself known behind his eyes.

 'Okay, I'll take your word for it,' he sighed. The last thing he wanted to do was play spot-the-trooper with this pair of… He left that thought unfinished as another came to mind. They would have seen the Rebels, wouldn't they? Maybe even heard the names of some of them. He looked at them. Beth was likely to tell him, right? Whatever about Aisling, Beth could always be relied on to let her mouth hit the hyperdrive while her brain was still unlocking the Star Cruiser.

 'How many Rebels were here?' he asked slowly. Both girls shrugged. 'Rough guess?' They looked at each other.

 'About, twenty I'd say,' Aisling hazarded. Beth nodded, agreeing with the figure. 'Yeah, twenty, maybe less.'

 'Did you see any of them?' Aisling put on a sabacc face. Beth didn't.

 'Well there was salmon dude,' she said. 'Neck-pain guy, big dog, who else Aisling?' Aisling couldn't look Vader in the visor.

 'Wood block, Indiana Jones, nun lady, lefty,' Aisling added. Vader was getting more perplexed by the moment.

 'Santa,' Beth said. 'Any more?' Aisling thought for a moment.

 'I think that's it,' she said at last. 'Any good?'

 'It might help,' Vader growled. 'If I knew what the hell you're on about.'

 'Oh we didn't know any of their names,' Beth explained. 'So we made up nick-names for them.'

 'But you saw their faces?'

 'Some of them,' Beth replied. 'But I didn't pay much attention to them.'

 'She has her picture,' Aisling explained. She grinned. 'There was quite a crisis there for a while over it.' 

 'Lord Vader,' the lieutenant said, re-entering the room. There were times when he, the trooper, cursed his rank. 'A thorough search has been conducted. There is no evidence to show where the Rebels have gone.'

 'Then I'm guessing you missed the secret compartments,' Beth commented offhandedly. 'Never mind, I'm sure those maps and charts are useless anyway.'

There was a horrible silence, where Vaders ventilator was the only sound. The trooper stood stock-still for a moment, then snapped a hasty salute and raced to get back to the other troopers.

 'What secret compartments?' Aisling asked her friend.

 'The non-existent ones,' Beth replied. 'I love messing with troopers heads,' she commented to no-one in particular. 'It's so much fun.'

 'Too easy though,' Aisling said. 'No challenge in it.'

'There is that,' Beth agreed.

Vader stared at them for a moment, then decided not to pursue the issue. No longer used to their peculiar brand of humour and insanity, he needed to get back to a form of sanity, even if only for a short time.

 'The shuttle is on the roof,' he said, turning to leave. 'Are you coming back to the Palace, or do you want to stay?'

 'Do we have to go back to the palace?' Beth whined, scuffing the ground as she walked beside the black-clad form. 'It's soooooo boring!!!!'

 'I'm gonna have to agree with Beth on this one Vader,' Aisling confessed. 'As much as it goes against the grain.'

 'Yes, you have to go back to the palace,' Vader told them. 'The Emperor has been anxious for your safety,' he lied.

 'Really,' Aisling said dryly.

 'But why cant we stay on the Avenger?' Beth asked plaintively.

 'Cos we keep damaging it?' Aisling asked her. Beth considered.

 'Besides that, why cant we stay on the Avenger?'   

 'Because,' Vader said.

 'Because what?'

 'Just because.'

Authors note: As you can see I have replaced the last two unformatted chapters to the way they should be and thanks again to everyone who managed to support me despite the fact that they were both in damn big-ass paragraphs. *hugs all reviewers* Thank you so much! And I hope that you keep enjoying this strange little plotless pointless and senseless creation of my permanently addled brain.

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