DISCLAIMER: Is there a point to this anymore? No? Good!

This one is, uh, maybe a, er, no, more of a, but kind of like… *gives up* It's by me so therefore it cannot by comprehended by any who possesses a whole mind or has a firm grip on sanity. Pretty much normal in other words. *smirk*

Hopefully whatever made the last two chapters forget that they were formatted (and they WERE I swear!) has moved on and been dealt with. If it hasn't, then Im sorry but, to quote a certain pilot or two, it's not my fault! 

Dedications!!

DramaPrincess_87,  Sage the Psychic Slytherin,  Dragonlet,  Valeria aka bru-chan,  Annoying brat,  Amaris Sandstone,  Andy,  Pitbull Girl & Panther Cub,  Silverwolfprincess. You all rock and thank you!!  

Um, do enjoy and tell me! Yeah Im a greedy bitch but at least I admit it!!

On to the chapy!

'I know a song that will get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on your nerves.'

Palatine stopped the recording and looked at Vader who, despite the fact that the black death-mask covered all his features, managed to look innocent.

 'Yes, master?' he said, pretending not to know the reason for the Emperors sudden interest in music.

 'Why,' the Emperor asked slowly. 'Do they insist in driving every sentient within ten kilometres of them to the brink of madness?'

 'Because they're bored,' Vader answered bluntly. Force knew he had heard enough about how lacking in entertainment the Imperial Palace was to them. 'I don't think they find confinement to the Palace very, interesting.' Palatine blinked at him. The Imperial Palace was the biggest building in Imperial City, there was nothing outside it that they could not do inside it, and he said as such.

 'Yes master,' Vader agreed. 'But I believe it is the knowledge that are not allowed go outside the Palace that makes them,' he paused, looking for the right word. 'Restless.'

 'Restless,' Palpatine repeated. 'You call racing through every corridor, harassing Court members, singing those things they call songs at every opportunity and generally making pests of themselves, restless?'

 'Yes.'

As Palpatine thought for a moment, there came a peculiar and oddly familiar sound from the hall outside the door. Vader, a suspicion forming in his mind, strode to the doors, flung them open and strode out, just in time to get bowled over by the speeder bike flown at high speed by Aisling.

Aisling looked back. 'Oh, blasted hell,' she muttered, seeing the Sith Lord go for a tumble.

Beth, strapped to the seat behind Aisling, gave her friend a belt over the head, which nearly sent the two of them and the bike crashing into a large pillar. Aisling banked up till she reached the vaulted ceiling, then with Beth screaming curses at her, drove the bike so close to the roof that they had to duck to avoid the occasional piece of fretwork.

Vader climbed to his feet, thanking the Force that the enormous hall was deserted, watching as the speeder bike dived at an alarming speed then pulled out of it with inches to spare and slewed to a stop in front of him.

Palpatine came out of the room as Beth shakily unstrapped herself from the bike and fell off, making intermittent wailing noises. Vader lifted her to her feet with the Force.

 'Vader,' Beth growled. 'Put me down. Please.' He did, when Beth said please like that, it was not good to argue, even if you are a Sith Lord. Aisling watched this with amusement, the dash through the Palace having not affected her at all.

 'I warned you,' she remarked, retying her hair. 'Didn't I say that it's worse than the speeder?' Beth made a half-growl half-whine noise.

 'Don't talk to me Aisling,' she said. 'If you value your life and head, don't talk to me.' Aisling didn't seem abashed by this, she merely laughed and revved the speeder bikes engines.    

 'Ah man I love this thing,' she giggled. Palpatine, who had been watching the exchange silently, came forward.

 'Then by all means,' he said. 'Continue to use it.' Vader didn't look at his master, but wondered what he was up to. Aisling gave him a look of delight, mixed with suspicion.

 'Really? Cos if you don't like me driving it,' she began, but Palpatine waved her off.

 'Not at all. In fact, Vader and I were just discussing how best to provide entertainment for you.' He smiled, which did nothing to disperse Aislings growing suspicions. 'I'm glad that such a simple solution is available.'

 'Not for me, it isn't,' Beth reminded him, taking his words at surface value, unlike her friend who was wondering how to politely refuse without getting killed.

 'Then we shall have to arrange something else for you, but no matter.' Palpatine turned back to Aisling who was still seated on the speeder bike. 'But you are new to the speeder bike, yes?'

 'I've come across no problems so far,' Aisling replied warily.

 'Then perhaps it is best to make sure that you do not come across any problems in the future,' the Emperor said smoothly. 'Lord Vader can help you with that.'

 'Sire?' Aisling asked, the same time as Vader asked ^Master?^

 'I propose that Lord Vader teach you,' Palpatine continued as if he hadn't heard the twin inquiries. It seemed to Aisling that there was the slightest of pauses before the Emperor added, 'How to properly drive a speeder bike.'

 'I'm learning well enough on my own,' Aisling replied, not quite as politely as she had intended.

 'Then with Lord Vaders assistance you can learn even better,' Palpatine finished. 'Good, that's settled then.' He turned to Beth. 'Something shall be arranged for you, don't worry.'

 'Oh, Beth said, standing up for the first time. 'I wont.'

 With a smile to all and a nod to Vader, Palpatine strode off, only half-using his cane.

 'So,' Aisling said to Vader. 'What now?'

 'Now,' Vader growled, turning away. 'I'm getting a speeder bike.'

*~*

Beth sat in the repulsor chair, stubbornly not looking at the floor so far away below her, concentrating on watching Vader trying to teach Aisling. They were in some Great Hall or other; there were so many of them it was hard to keep track. It had pillars like the others, but they were set in four clusters with spaces in between the pillars wide enough for the speeders to pass through at high speed and clear space between the clusters, enough for Vader to train Aisling properly. The place had been cleared of people because being seen zooming around on a speeder bike was not the best thing that could happen to Vaders Sithly reputation.

 'Look,' Vader was saying for the third time. 'You're shifting around too much.'

 'Really?' Aisling asked innocently. 'I didn't think that was possible.'

Vader ignored the comment, knowing it to be yet another innuendo and demonstrated what he meant.

 'Oh,' Aisling said, as if finally understanding the concept. Beth rolled her eyes. She watched as Aisling flew around the hall, flawlessly mimicking the Sith Lord.

 'Good,' Vader said. Then he showed Aisling how to perform tricks on the speeder bike, things like conducting a 360-degree spin at top speed and keeping control, barrel rolls and the like. Soon, Aisling was flinging the bike around the place like a pro.

 'So Beth,' Aisling said to her friend during a break. 'Fancy having a go?' Beth looked at her friend who was sitting cross-legged on the small saddle like it was a wide couch and shook her head. 'No?' Aisling grinned. 'Guess you shouldn't, I do need someone to attend my funeral after all.'

 'That's if they can scrape enough molecules together after you crash to make a funeral worthwhile,' Beth yawned. Her friend laughed and, sitting properly astride the bike, made the speeder drop like a stone then swoop up and around the chair, grinning like a maniac the whole while. Beth watched her and Vader play high-speed hide-and-go-seek in and out of the pillars, absently wondering which one would crash and burn first. 

*~*

Vader weaving around a sculpture and watched as, before she saw him, Aisling veered away from where he was aiming for. She had been doing that all day, and her unusually quick grasp of the complexities of driving a speeder bike lead him to believe that she was Force-sensitive. Only a small bit though, not enough to warrant training or even death, but enough to give her the ability to sense a Force-user and reflexes that were quicker than they should be. This was why the Emperor had arranged this, he now saw.

*But why?* he wondered.

*~*

Aisling slammed the brakes on the speeder bike, not fully knowing why, then she saw Vader speed past, just in front of her. If she hadn't stopped, they would have collided.

She banked, then had to swerve to avoid the Sith again.

 'What the hell?' Aisling growled. Vader made no indication that he had heard, diving away from her. She muttered a curse and turned the bike the other way, diving when Vader suddenly gunned towards her from the left. Looking back, she saw that Vader hadn't continued on again, but was tailing her. She turned back to the front, and grinned evilly.

 'Alright,' she murmured. 'If that's how you want to play it.' She slowed the bike to a cruise and slowly weaved the bike through the pillars, seemingly ignoring the Dark Lord behind her. She heard Vader slow his bike as well, keeping pace about ten foot behind. She continued this for a while, arching slowly around a large pillar, then veering off to loop around another one. While Vader followed to the second pillar, she suddenly gunned the engines and shot around the first again. She had no misconceptions about whether she could shake off the Sith Lord, but she wanted to see how close she'd come. As she expected, she had barely left the pillar before Vader was right behind her again. She put the bike into a steep dive, then swerved away and spiralled upwards again. That move gained her a few inches, but was swiftly closed again in the climb. She continued up to the ceiling and only pulled out when the main repulsor pod nearly brushed the paintwork. Using a trick only taught to her a bare half-hour before, she made the bike skim the ceiling upside-down so that it became the floor. She dodged the fretwork and hanging sculptures at the highest speed she dared, then fell away from it like a stone, turning the bike as she did so that it was right way up and passed Beths repulsor chair, pulling out of the dive three foot from the floor. Vader of course, was still exactly ten foot behind her.

She raced away towards the pillars, looping around and weaving through them recklessly. Vader, not only stayed behind her, but followed her though every move like a shadow. Despite her knowledge that she wasn't going to win this by any means, Aisling began to get irritated by the Siths apparent ease in tailing her. She pushed the bike and her new-found skills to their limits in attempting to evade the Dark Lord.

She looped around a large pillar several times, until she nearly got dizzy, then swerved left, narrowly missing from flying into a statue. She banked up to clear it, then dived down the other side, and slewed the bike right and spiralled up. She risked a look back and saw Vader calmly following her. She snarled and threw her attention back to getting rid of him.

*~*

Vader watched with interest as Aisling turned back to her bike and dived away to the side, zipping in and out of pillars. She had succeeded so far in not letting her irritation get the better of her, but that close call with the statue seemed to have rattled her and the sight of the Sith still behind her turned the shock into anger. He wondered whether she'd have the sense to give up before she lost.

*~*

Aisling swerved out of the cluster of pillars again and sped across the open space, barely an inch from the floor. She didn't look back, knowing that Vader was there. She formed elaborate figures of eight over the ground as a plan formed in the back of her mind. She climbed up, straight up so that the speeder looked like it was balancing on its tail, waited until Vader was in the same position. Then not thinking about it, she flipped a switch on the bike and it went into reverse.

*~*

Vader watched her carefully, she had something planned, he knew. Then his senses screamed at him and he swerved his bike away to the right just Aisling switched hers to reverse. He dived down and followed her as she zoomed backwards to the floor. At the last second, she slammed on the brakes. The bike stopped, but she didn't. The shock jolted her from her seat and sent her crashing to the floor.

*~*

Aisling looked up, dazed as the ceiling swam in and out of focus. She heard Vader land and get off his bike and Beth have a fit in the chair that was stuck fifty feet up. All the breath had been knocked out of her when she hit the ground and she only now remembered to draw breath, wincing as she did so.

 'Oh great,' she groaned. 'More bruises.'        

 'A bit more than that,' Vader said, not amused. 'I've a good mind to make you heal the old-fashioned way for that stunt.' The Sith had checked her for injuries on the way down. 'You've fractured a couple of ribs and will probably have a lump the size of your head on the back of your head.'

 'They say two heads are better than one,' Aisling remarked. 'I think you'd better get Beth out of that chair before she jumps and you have to bring the two of us to the meds.' 

With a growl Vader picked up Beth bodily with the Force and put her on the ground. She ran to Aisling.

 'Are you okay?' she asked. Aisling grinned and tried to sit up.

 'And in one piece.' She winced. 'Kinda.'

 'Oh good,' Beth said. Then she drew a deep breath. 'What the hell were you thinking off? What did you think would happen? Even I could see that would happen! You're lucky you weren't killed!'

Aisling groaned and lay back again as her best friend gave her a right chewing-out. Vader retreated a few paces and called for a medic. Then retreated a few more before Beth remembered that it was he who had shown, then forbid, Aisling how to do that particular trick.

 'And you!' Beth cried whirling on him.

When the medics arrived they found one human female lying on the ground near two speeder bikes while another was ceaselessly yelling at the top of her lungs at the Sith Lord Darth Vader.

Being droids, they just did their job and got out. Being smart droids, they kept their vocabulators shut about it.

*~* 

Aisling watched half-interested as Beth and Vader argued. Beth stood toe-to-toe to the Sith who towered over her and roared various theories related to his species, heritage, birth-place, real reason for wearing the visor and suit, relationship with the Emperor, sexual preferences and other miscellaneous insult-worthy subjects. Vader, who rarely raised his voice, was belting out like-minded insults that stood at least on a par with Beths and had the added advantage of being in more galactic languages than the average droid translator could rhyme off.      

*And there was me wondering how Anakin Skywalker zipped into that suit* Aisling mused, raising an eyebrow as Vader drew an ominous breathe and, cranking the volume up a few notches, delved into his childhood in Tatooine and let Beth know exactly what grade of cussing he learned there. Even Beth seemed a bit blown away from that burst, but hopped right back into the fray as he took a breath.

 'Excuse me ma'am,' a droid, a protocol droid Aisling saw, asked, having just entered the room. 'But what are they arguing about?'

 'If I knew that I'd know everything wouldn't I?' The droid paused for a second and Aisling just knew what it would say.

 'Excuse me, but you wouldn't,' it said on cue. 'You would learn no more than before except why they are fighting.'

 'Oh they're not fighting,' Aisling replied, ignoring the correction. 'They're discussing.' She paused, listening to a particularly vile stream from Beth. 'Things.'

The droid stayed silent, obviously deciding not to go there.

There was a lull in the "discussion" as both combatants caught their breath, glaring at each other, though with Vader it was more of an educated guess that he was glaring.

 'Alright,' Aisling stated, standing up. 'That's enough.'

 'What?' Beth hissed. 'You have nothing to do with this Aisling Theresa O' Connell! Get your bloody great nose back in your own business!'

 'Go jump in the main reactor,' Vader snarled at the same moment. Beth whirled back to him and drew a deep breath.

 'Don't you dare talk to my best friend like that!' she roared. 'What dammed right have you to talk like that to her! I have the right to say stuff like that to her! Nobody else!'

 'What right do you have to talk this way to me?!' Vader roared back.

Aisling smirked and walked out of the room. With any luck they'd keep each other occupied for a while.

 'Er excuse me?' the protocol droid wavered, proving that even AA1 verbo-brains cant tell when to walk away. Half a second later it was nothing more than a pile of tattered wiring and dented metal as Vader pulled every part of the droid in every direction at once with the Force. That seemed to do the one thing that he himself, the Emperor and the Rebels couldn't do. It shut Beth up.

She stared at the remains of the protocol droid in silence for a moment, then looked back up at Vader.

 'Deadly!' she cried. 'That was so deadly! You gotta teach me that!'

 'Go away,' Vader growled, turning to leave the room.

 'Aw come on,' Beth whined, following him. 'You cant do something like that and not tell me how its done!'

 'I manipulated the Force,' Vader hissed, turning right, heading towards the elevators. 'Took hold of every part of the droid with the Force and pulled every piece in a different direction at once. Using the Force.' Vader pushed the button for the elevator impatiently as Beth stood at his side like a puppy. 'Now leave me alone.'

 'No way, now you gotta teach me how to do it too,' Beth pointed out. 'You cant tell me how its done and not teach me.'

 'Oh the love of Force,' Vader growled, stalking to all the elevators and tapping each button in turn, Beth tagging at his heels. 'I'm not teaching you anything.'

 'But why?' Beth whined.

 'Because I don't want to.'

 'But why?'

 'Because you irritate me.'

 'But why?'

'Because you're you.'

 'But why?'

*Where's a Force-dammed elevator when you need one!* Vader thought.

 'Go and plague a trooper,' he told her.

 'No,' she replied, shaking her head. 'I wanna learn how to use the Force!' Vader growled in his throat and turned, standing in front of her. She stood expectantly, staring right up at him. He sighed as if resigned.

 'Alright,' he said. 'You really want to learn the ways of the Force?'

 'Yes.'

 'Really?'

 'Yes!'

 'Really?'

 'Yes damn you!'

 'Alright,' he whispered, leaning close. He raised his gloved hand and waved it in front of Beths' eyes. 'You will go plague a trooper.' As he expected, her eyes went slightly out of focus.

 'I will go plague a trooper,' Beth intoned. Behind the mask Vader grinned wickedly and waved his hand again.

 'You will seek out Prince Xizor.'

 'I will seek out Prince Xizor.' Vader didn't look round as an elevator finally opened behind him. He waved his hand for a third time.

 'You will leave me alone,' he told her, backing into the elevator, thanking the Force that it was empty.

 'I will.' Beth frowned, and blinked when she saw Vader disappearing behind the closing elevator doors. 'Hey!' she cried, and Vader heard a thud as she thumped the doors.

*Guess that last command was a bit much*

*~*

Beth glared at the closed doors, knowing before she tried that pushing the button to make it come back down again was a wasted effort. She couldn't believe that he tried using a mind-trick on her! Obviously it hadn't worked because she was not possessed of a weak mind! Somehow that facet of knowledge had gotten itself stuck in her memory, she wasn't sure how.

She shrugged, dispelling the train of thought. She had a sudden urge to go trooper-plaguing and Xizor–taunting.

*~*

Aisling looked up at a knock on the door. This in itself wasn't unusual, but she had been engrossed in the holoscreen in front of her and the interruption had better be worth it.

She was in the Record Hall of the Imperial Palace, trying to glean as much information about the Clone Wars as she could. It wasn't easy, being a period of war many records were lost, classified, destroyed or were never made out. Also, being the period where Palpatine made a real bid for the Imperial throne, this meant that information on the Clone Wars were even scantier than on most other wars. She had run into so many dead-ends, so much red tape and the Classified logo had flashed on her screen so many times that she felt like picking up the whole lot and ramming it down someones throat. Instead she got up and opened the cubicle door.

 'Heard you were down here,' Thrawn said, walking in. 'Thought I'd give you a hand with whatever you were looking for.' Aisling couldn't suppress the wry grin.

 'Oh indeed, and help to steer me clear of issues that could prove hazardous to my health?' she smirked, going back to her seat in front of the screen. 'You needn't bother, someones already done a sound job of making sure that I never get any further than starting a search before a big neon sign flashes, telling me that I have three seconds to quit the program before the room is flooded with dioxygen.' Thrawn glanced around the small room, noting the amount of shredded papers, crumpled flimsiplasts and what seemed to be a crater in the desk from a small blunt instrument, which was swiftly identified as the pen that Aisling was idly fiddling with.

 'So I see,' he said. 'What do you want to know about?'

 'Something that the computer won't recognize out of sheer spite,' Aisling growled, tapping in another command. 'The Clone Wars in other words.' She hissed at the screen when that all-too-familiar Classified logo appeared. 'I know,' she snarled, trying yet another tack. 'HOW the blasted thing started and WHY the blasted thing started. Whore-bitch!' she yelled the red flag appeared again. 'All I want to know is what happened in the blasted thing!'

 'How long have you been here?' Thrawn asked, watching her with well-hidden apprehension.

 'Dunno, what day is it?' Aisling replied, grinning lopsidedly. 'About an hour or so.' The register had said close to three, but he held his peace.

 'You do know that its voice activated, right?' he said instead. Aisling nodded absently.

 'Yeah but I'm more used to it this way,' she replied, stabbing viciously at the table with her pen as she tried to think of a new command. 

 'May I have a go?' Thrawn asked, when that attempt resulted in string of insults a mile long. When she nodded, he leaned over and typed two words. Less than a second later, the screen was full of data and links on all aspects of the Clone Wars.

There was a silent few moments.

 'What did you type in?' Aisling asked in a faraway voice.

 'Clone Wars.'

 'Oh.'

Ten Minutes later, Grand Admiral Thrawn slipped out of the room, leaving Aisling to absorb all the information she could.

Twenty minutes after that, Aisling sat back from the holoscreen with an evil little smile. Oh, she was going to have fun with this one.

Hehe! Any suggestions on what the info should be? Open ears, I have.

This isn't very good I know but sometimes even this fabulous writer turns out crap. I swear it will get better, sometime. *snigger*

BTW, in the last chapter there was a list of nicknames for known Rebels, should I tell you who they meant or leave you in suspense? Tell me in the review and have fun guessing!

Thanks for your patience and support guys!! See you soon, in the next adventurous instalment of *dramatic voice* "Two Lunatics and a Sith Lord!!"

Bye!