TEN:
The next morning after breakfast Cary turned to me "Are you ready? Let's go see the house!"
His excitement made me smile. "Let me just clean this mess up first Cary-" I began, but Aunt Sara interrupted me.
"I'll do it Melody. I don't think Cary can wait. He's obviously very impressed by this place." But there was a sad tone in her voice when she said it. When Cary and I moved out it would leave just her and May in the house. I made a mental note to mention it to Cary.
My mother jumped up. "Great, let's go. I can't wait to see the place!" She said brightly.
Cary's eyes swung to me, with a disbelieving look in them. I simply shrugged, how could I tell my own mother we didn't want her to come with us? In the truck my mother chatted away, telling us things from her childhood when she was growing up in Provincetown. From the look on Cary's face I could see he didn't seem to care, but I was listening intently. After all, how often had my mother spoken about this place and growing up here?
"We used to spend the entire day out on the boat, swimming and fishing, and sunbaking. Chester, Kenneth and I always got on well. Jacob would come with us, but he was such a sourpuss sometimes." She made a face.
I saw Cary's hands tightening on the steering wheel.
"Was that when you fell in love with Kenneth Mommy?" I asked.
"I suppose so. Kenneth was such a handsome man, such a nice man too.." My mother sighed. I had the impression from when I had spoken to her about this before that if she hadn't found out that the judge was her real father she would have married Kenneth.
This made me think about the judge, and I said "The judge is going to give me away at the wedding Mommy. I hope you don't mind."
"Why should she mind?" Cary muttered.
"Giving you away?" My mother repeated confused. "Isn't that a little strange?"
"Why should it be?" I demanded. "He's my real grandfather isn't he? And he's a nice man, he has paid for what he did in more ways than one, and I forgive him for it."
"He always had a way of charming females." My mother muttered bitterly, but before I could respond Cary interrupted.
"Look up onto the hill." He said.
My head swiveled to do what he'd requested. On top of the hill sat a fairly large house, one made in the style of most Cape Cod homes, but one which also managed to look different. And beside it sat a huge shed, with a path which led down to the ocean. I could see why the place had caught Cary's eye.
"Doesn't look very special." My mother muttered, but Cary and I both disagreed.
When he stopped the car I jumped out and hurried up the steps onto the front porch. Cary followed at a slower, steadier pace, and I waited impatiently for him to join me with the key. Once inside I fell in love. The house had been recently repainted, and I spent the longest time in the kitchen. I closed my eyes and imagined myself in here cooking for Cary and I.
"Well?" Cary asked from the doorway.
My eyes flew open. I hadn't known he was there. "Well I love it!" I said. "We've got to get this place Cary-it's perfect."
A grin lit up his face, and he hurried to embrace me. "I knew you'd love it!" He said, and he kissed my forehead, then my nose, and then my lips. I kissed him back, and he wrapped his arms round me, drawing me closer into him. My own arms encircled his strong back, as we kissed passionately.
"I hope I'm not interrupting anything." My mother said a grin on her face.
Cary and I both jumped apart. "I'm going to go have another look at the shed." Cary muttered, red faced. He hurried out of the house without looking at my mother.
"Do you really love him Melody?" My mother asked a strange look on her face.
"Of course I really love him Mommy, what kind of question is that?" I demanded.
"I just wanted to know." My mother said with a sigh. "Melody, I don't want to butt in here-"
"-Then don't butt in!" I said, not wanting to hear what she had to say.
"I have to." My mother said, with another sigh. "Melody, I think you're making a mistake marrying Cary."
"Mommy, I don't want to hear this!" I said angrily. "Of course you think it's a mistake. I've never seen anyone get over the death of their own husband as quickly as you got over Daddy's death."
My mother winced. "Melody, despite what it might look like to you I really did love Chester. And I wasn't unhappy all the time. We had our happy moments." She smiled softly, obviously remembering one of those good times. "But I shouldn't have married. I'm not the marrying type. And I think that before you get married you should find out what type you are. I don't want to see you make a mistake, and be stuck in a marriage you don't want to be in."
"Mommy," I said coldly. "I may be young, but I know what I want. I love Cary, and I want to marry him."
And then I walked past her and outside to see the shed that Cary was so excited about.
*****
Later that afternoon Aunt Sara, my mother and I were sitting in the lounge room looking through photographer samples for the wedding. That is Aunt Sara and I were. My mother was sitting there, staring into space. She hadn't said a word on the way home from the house, so I'd covered the silence, chattering about how I loved the house, and different plans I had for it. I don't know whether Cary noticed my mother's silence or not. If he did he said nothing about it. When we got back to the house he gobbled lunch down and then hurried down to the dock. He wanted to discuss his plans for Roy taking over the business with Roy. A noise out the front made my mother jump a mile.
"What was that? Is there someone there?" She asked nervously.
"If there's someone there you'll have the time to get into your room and hide Mommy." I assured her. "Nobody in town is going to know you're here don't worry."
A confused look crossed my mother's face, and then she nodded. "Right." She said softly.
"Oh look!" Aunt Sara exclaimed. "This photo is gorgeous."
I had a look. The newly married couple were striking a classic pose, arms around each other, facing each other, gazing into each other's eyes lovingly. But the background is what caught my eye. It was sunset on the beach, and it was beautiful.
"Yes." I said, in my mind the couple were replaced with Cary and I, and it was perfect. "What do you think Mommy?" I asked, trying to draw her into the discussion.
"Hmmm..oh lovely, lovely." My mother replied, not even really looking at the photo.
I raised an eyebrow. What was on her mind? I didn't have to guess long. The phone's ringing interrupted us, and I got up to answer it.
"That you Melody?" Asked a familiar voice. I couldn't quite put my finger on who it was though.
"It's Archie, Archie Marlin. Can I speak to Gina?" He asked.
Taken aback by hearing Archie's voice I was flustered for a moment. And then I said, "She's not here." I remembered what my mother had said, about how Archie was harassing her and she wanted to get away from him. And as much as she annoyed me I didn't like Archie, and I didn't like the idea of him trying to worm his way back into her life!
"Not there? What do you mean not there?" He demanded. "Of course she's there. The plan was for her to go there for a few days."
"The plan?" I repeated, confused.
"Right, so tell me: is she there or not?" He demanded.
"Hold on a moment." I said resignedly. I went back into the living room. "Mommy, Archie's on the phone for you."
"For me? How did he know I was here? I tell you Melody, I don't think I'm ever going to be able to get away from that man completely." She sighed, and got up.
"Mommy, what's the plan?" I asked.
My mother looked at me in shock. "The what?" She repeated.
"When I found out who was on the phone I said you weren't here-since Archie's meant to be harassing you and all, and he got quite annoyed, and said of course she's there, that was the plan. What's the plan Mommy?" I demanded.
She faltered on her way out of the room. "I don't know what he is talking about Melody." She said, but I didn't believe her for one moment.
"Just for once in your life can you tell the truth HAILLE LOGAN?" I yelled, deliberately using her real name.
She winced. "Melody dear-"
"-Don't 'Melody dear' me!" I snapped. "You know something Mommy- every time Grandma Olivia, or Uncle Jacob said something bad about you I argued with them not wanting to hear it. But now I realise they were right: you're a selfish liar. And I don't want to speak to you again!"
Suddenly my mother seemed to wilt. "Okay, okay.." She said, and she came over and sank back into the chair. "Let me tell you something Melody-I might have had a little part in a Mel Gibson movie, but I knew there was no way one little bit part was going to make me a star. So did Archie. He's not my agent anymore, but that doesn't mean we don't have a relationship. Life has been getting tougher and tougher for us. We can't pay bills, we can't buy clothes and the other things I need to make me a star. I'm not going to France-there is no way I could afford to go to France. We're desperate."
"So you lied to me?" I asked, surprised. "Why Mommy?"
"Archie and I thought maybe you might help us out a bit. Give us some money so I can get some new clothes, and my nose done. After all, surely you want to see me become a famous actress right Melody? Then you could be so proud of your mother? Boast to all your friends about your star mother?" She said.
I didn't know what to say. "How could I boast about you? Do you think anyone's going to believe me when I say that's my mother up there on the screen. Everyone thinks your dead Mommy. When you pulled that trick." I trailed off, trying to find the words to say. "And even if I wanted to give you money, which I don't after this terrible trick, I couldn't. I don't get it until I'm 25, except the money from the sale of Grandma Olivia and Grandpa Samuel's house. And that's going into our house and the business, there won't be anything left over!"
My mother glared at me. "You mean you won't even help your own mother?" She asked angrily. But I was just as angry!
"What kind of mother have you ever been to me?" I snapped. "You left me here and went off with your stupid boyfriend. And then you faked your own death so I'd never know you were alive, and never see you again. If Alice hadn't sent me the photo, and if Kenneth hadn't identified it, and if Holly hadn't taken me-well, the point is there is no way that you've acted like my mother!"
My mother sighed. "I guess that means you're not going to give me anything."
"You guessed it right Mommy." I said coldly. "And if you don't mind I think you should leave as soon as you can."
Aunt Sara had been sitting openmouthed during this confrontation. Now she shook her head, and muttered something about getting coffee, and hurriedly left the room.
My mother's eyes followed her. "Is there something wrong with her?" She asked. "She hasn't seemed like herself since I've been here."
I thought about Aunt Sara's problems, although she had seemed a lot better lately, but there was no way I was going to tell my mother this. Instead I said, "She's upset about Uncle Jacob of course. Now, don't you think you should go and tell Archie that it was a wasted plan and then call a cab and get back to him?"
My mother nodded and left the room. I heard her on the phone for a bit and then upstairs packing her bags. Aunt Sara popped her head in the room and muttered that she was going to go and pick a few cranberries for a sauce for tea. I knew she hated confrontations, so I just smiled and said fine. Besides the last thing she needed was to be upset by something else when she was beginning to get better.
Soon my mother was back downstairs, and the cab out the front. "I'll see you later Melody." She said, hesitating.
"Goodbye Mother." I said coldly.
"Mother?" She repeated. "Melody, listen to me; I know I've hurt you, but if there is one thing you really need to trust me on it's this: you can't marry Cary."
"Mother!" I snapped. "Surely you've done enough damage here?"
"If you don't believe me then go and ask the judge!" My mother replied, and then she left the house, and a moment later the cab was driving off. I sat there, tears rolling down my checks even though I wished they weren't. I wasn't crying just because of the way my mother had tried to trick me, but also because I was confused. What had she been talking about telling me I couldn't marry Cary? And then saying to ask the judge? If the judge knew a reason why Cary and I couldn't be married wouldn't he have told me? Surely he wouldn't have offered to give me away at a wedding which couldn't be!
Aunt Sara came in then, and seeing my tears, hurried to embrace me. "Don't cry dear." She said. "Even if your mother's not here I'm here, and I love you as much as I love May, and as much as I loved Laura. I'll be like your mother!"
I smiled through my tears. "I know Aunt Sara." I said. But I decided that the next day I would have to make a visit to the judge.
The next morning after breakfast Cary turned to me "Are you ready? Let's go see the house!"
His excitement made me smile. "Let me just clean this mess up first Cary-" I began, but Aunt Sara interrupted me.
"I'll do it Melody. I don't think Cary can wait. He's obviously very impressed by this place." But there was a sad tone in her voice when she said it. When Cary and I moved out it would leave just her and May in the house. I made a mental note to mention it to Cary.
My mother jumped up. "Great, let's go. I can't wait to see the place!" She said brightly.
Cary's eyes swung to me, with a disbelieving look in them. I simply shrugged, how could I tell my own mother we didn't want her to come with us? In the truck my mother chatted away, telling us things from her childhood when she was growing up in Provincetown. From the look on Cary's face I could see he didn't seem to care, but I was listening intently. After all, how often had my mother spoken about this place and growing up here?
"We used to spend the entire day out on the boat, swimming and fishing, and sunbaking. Chester, Kenneth and I always got on well. Jacob would come with us, but he was such a sourpuss sometimes." She made a face.
I saw Cary's hands tightening on the steering wheel.
"Was that when you fell in love with Kenneth Mommy?" I asked.
"I suppose so. Kenneth was such a handsome man, such a nice man too.." My mother sighed. I had the impression from when I had spoken to her about this before that if she hadn't found out that the judge was her real father she would have married Kenneth.
This made me think about the judge, and I said "The judge is going to give me away at the wedding Mommy. I hope you don't mind."
"Why should she mind?" Cary muttered.
"Giving you away?" My mother repeated confused. "Isn't that a little strange?"
"Why should it be?" I demanded. "He's my real grandfather isn't he? And he's a nice man, he has paid for what he did in more ways than one, and I forgive him for it."
"He always had a way of charming females." My mother muttered bitterly, but before I could respond Cary interrupted.
"Look up onto the hill." He said.
My head swiveled to do what he'd requested. On top of the hill sat a fairly large house, one made in the style of most Cape Cod homes, but one which also managed to look different. And beside it sat a huge shed, with a path which led down to the ocean. I could see why the place had caught Cary's eye.
"Doesn't look very special." My mother muttered, but Cary and I both disagreed.
When he stopped the car I jumped out and hurried up the steps onto the front porch. Cary followed at a slower, steadier pace, and I waited impatiently for him to join me with the key. Once inside I fell in love. The house had been recently repainted, and I spent the longest time in the kitchen. I closed my eyes and imagined myself in here cooking for Cary and I.
"Well?" Cary asked from the doorway.
My eyes flew open. I hadn't known he was there. "Well I love it!" I said. "We've got to get this place Cary-it's perfect."
A grin lit up his face, and he hurried to embrace me. "I knew you'd love it!" He said, and he kissed my forehead, then my nose, and then my lips. I kissed him back, and he wrapped his arms round me, drawing me closer into him. My own arms encircled his strong back, as we kissed passionately.
"I hope I'm not interrupting anything." My mother said a grin on her face.
Cary and I both jumped apart. "I'm going to go have another look at the shed." Cary muttered, red faced. He hurried out of the house without looking at my mother.
"Do you really love him Melody?" My mother asked a strange look on her face.
"Of course I really love him Mommy, what kind of question is that?" I demanded.
"I just wanted to know." My mother said with a sigh. "Melody, I don't want to butt in here-"
"-Then don't butt in!" I said, not wanting to hear what she had to say.
"I have to." My mother said, with another sigh. "Melody, I think you're making a mistake marrying Cary."
"Mommy, I don't want to hear this!" I said angrily. "Of course you think it's a mistake. I've never seen anyone get over the death of their own husband as quickly as you got over Daddy's death."
My mother winced. "Melody, despite what it might look like to you I really did love Chester. And I wasn't unhappy all the time. We had our happy moments." She smiled softly, obviously remembering one of those good times. "But I shouldn't have married. I'm not the marrying type. And I think that before you get married you should find out what type you are. I don't want to see you make a mistake, and be stuck in a marriage you don't want to be in."
"Mommy," I said coldly. "I may be young, but I know what I want. I love Cary, and I want to marry him."
And then I walked past her and outside to see the shed that Cary was so excited about.
*****
Later that afternoon Aunt Sara, my mother and I were sitting in the lounge room looking through photographer samples for the wedding. That is Aunt Sara and I were. My mother was sitting there, staring into space. She hadn't said a word on the way home from the house, so I'd covered the silence, chattering about how I loved the house, and different plans I had for it. I don't know whether Cary noticed my mother's silence or not. If he did he said nothing about it. When we got back to the house he gobbled lunch down and then hurried down to the dock. He wanted to discuss his plans for Roy taking over the business with Roy. A noise out the front made my mother jump a mile.
"What was that? Is there someone there?" She asked nervously.
"If there's someone there you'll have the time to get into your room and hide Mommy." I assured her. "Nobody in town is going to know you're here don't worry."
A confused look crossed my mother's face, and then she nodded. "Right." She said softly.
"Oh look!" Aunt Sara exclaimed. "This photo is gorgeous."
I had a look. The newly married couple were striking a classic pose, arms around each other, facing each other, gazing into each other's eyes lovingly. But the background is what caught my eye. It was sunset on the beach, and it was beautiful.
"Yes." I said, in my mind the couple were replaced with Cary and I, and it was perfect. "What do you think Mommy?" I asked, trying to draw her into the discussion.
"Hmmm..oh lovely, lovely." My mother replied, not even really looking at the photo.
I raised an eyebrow. What was on her mind? I didn't have to guess long. The phone's ringing interrupted us, and I got up to answer it.
"That you Melody?" Asked a familiar voice. I couldn't quite put my finger on who it was though.
"It's Archie, Archie Marlin. Can I speak to Gina?" He asked.
Taken aback by hearing Archie's voice I was flustered for a moment. And then I said, "She's not here." I remembered what my mother had said, about how Archie was harassing her and she wanted to get away from him. And as much as she annoyed me I didn't like Archie, and I didn't like the idea of him trying to worm his way back into her life!
"Not there? What do you mean not there?" He demanded. "Of course she's there. The plan was for her to go there for a few days."
"The plan?" I repeated, confused.
"Right, so tell me: is she there or not?" He demanded.
"Hold on a moment." I said resignedly. I went back into the living room. "Mommy, Archie's on the phone for you."
"For me? How did he know I was here? I tell you Melody, I don't think I'm ever going to be able to get away from that man completely." She sighed, and got up.
"Mommy, what's the plan?" I asked.
My mother looked at me in shock. "The what?" She repeated.
"When I found out who was on the phone I said you weren't here-since Archie's meant to be harassing you and all, and he got quite annoyed, and said of course she's there, that was the plan. What's the plan Mommy?" I demanded.
She faltered on her way out of the room. "I don't know what he is talking about Melody." She said, but I didn't believe her for one moment.
"Just for once in your life can you tell the truth HAILLE LOGAN?" I yelled, deliberately using her real name.
She winced. "Melody dear-"
"-Don't 'Melody dear' me!" I snapped. "You know something Mommy- every time Grandma Olivia, or Uncle Jacob said something bad about you I argued with them not wanting to hear it. But now I realise they were right: you're a selfish liar. And I don't want to speak to you again!"
Suddenly my mother seemed to wilt. "Okay, okay.." She said, and she came over and sank back into the chair. "Let me tell you something Melody-I might have had a little part in a Mel Gibson movie, but I knew there was no way one little bit part was going to make me a star. So did Archie. He's not my agent anymore, but that doesn't mean we don't have a relationship. Life has been getting tougher and tougher for us. We can't pay bills, we can't buy clothes and the other things I need to make me a star. I'm not going to France-there is no way I could afford to go to France. We're desperate."
"So you lied to me?" I asked, surprised. "Why Mommy?"
"Archie and I thought maybe you might help us out a bit. Give us some money so I can get some new clothes, and my nose done. After all, surely you want to see me become a famous actress right Melody? Then you could be so proud of your mother? Boast to all your friends about your star mother?" She said.
I didn't know what to say. "How could I boast about you? Do you think anyone's going to believe me when I say that's my mother up there on the screen. Everyone thinks your dead Mommy. When you pulled that trick." I trailed off, trying to find the words to say. "And even if I wanted to give you money, which I don't after this terrible trick, I couldn't. I don't get it until I'm 25, except the money from the sale of Grandma Olivia and Grandpa Samuel's house. And that's going into our house and the business, there won't be anything left over!"
My mother glared at me. "You mean you won't even help your own mother?" She asked angrily. But I was just as angry!
"What kind of mother have you ever been to me?" I snapped. "You left me here and went off with your stupid boyfriend. And then you faked your own death so I'd never know you were alive, and never see you again. If Alice hadn't sent me the photo, and if Kenneth hadn't identified it, and if Holly hadn't taken me-well, the point is there is no way that you've acted like my mother!"
My mother sighed. "I guess that means you're not going to give me anything."
"You guessed it right Mommy." I said coldly. "And if you don't mind I think you should leave as soon as you can."
Aunt Sara had been sitting openmouthed during this confrontation. Now she shook her head, and muttered something about getting coffee, and hurriedly left the room.
My mother's eyes followed her. "Is there something wrong with her?" She asked. "She hasn't seemed like herself since I've been here."
I thought about Aunt Sara's problems, although she had seemed a lot better lately, but there was no way I was going to tell my mother this. Instead I said, "She's upset about Uncle Jacob of course. Now, don't you think you should go and tell Archie that it was a wasted plan and then call a cab and get back to him?"
My mother nodded and left the room. I heard her on the phone for a bit and then upstairs packing her bags. Aunt Sara popped her head in the room and muttered that she was going to go and pick a few cranberries for a sauce for tea. I knew she hated confrontations, so I just smiled and said fine. Besides the last thing she needed was to be upset by something else when she was beginning to get better.
Soon my mother was back downstairs, and the cab out the front. "I'll see you later Melody." She said, hesitating.
"Goodbye Mother." I said coldly.
"Mother?" She repeated. "Melody, listen to me; I know I've hurt you, but if there is one thing you really need to trust me on it's this: you can't marry Cary."
"Mother!" I snapped. "Surely you've done enough damage here?"
"If you don't believe me then go and ask the judge!" My mother replied, and then she left the house, and a moment later the cab was driving off. I sat there, tears rolling down my checks even though I wished they weren't. I wasn't crying just because of the way my mother had tried to trick me, but also because I was confused. What had she been talking about telling me I couldn't marry Cary? And then saying to ask the judge? If the judge knew a reason why Cary and I couldn't be married wouldn't he have told me? Surely he wouldn't have offered to give me away at a wedding which couldn't be!
Aunt Sara came in then, and seeing my tears, hurried to embrace me. "Don't cry dear." She said. "Even if your mother's not here I'm here, and I love you as much as I love May, and as much as I loved Laura. I'll be like your mother!"
I smiled through my tears. "I know Aunt Sara." I said. But I decided that the next day I would have to make a visit to the judge.