Important note!! Last chapter I said that Beth goes into a shuttle. For reasons of plot I've had to change this to a medium to large freighter okay? So no reviews saying, "wasn't she supposed to be in a shuttle?"

Thanks to all of you guys!! Dedications!!

SummerRose_(Nory:  *strange look* yes, pretty buttons. *To Thrawn* Dear Gods man it's catching!

Drama_Princess87: yeah, I think she'll enjoy where she's going, but I'm not that sure. *grin* yes it would be a good idea to not read this at home anymore…mind you, my family all think I'm nuts cos of the way I tend to burst out laughing when I'm writing this, so heh. *snigger* Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!!!! Hope its up soon. *snigger* Fun!!!

Annoying brat: Really? *dazzling smile and bow*  Honoured, I am! Ooh more ideas! Hehehe! Thanks! As for the phobia, don't be ashamed, you've admitted it, that's the first step! *wonders when to drop the shrink act* I'm glad this helps. Okay, helpful phase over! *grin* Really? I love him, as if you can't guess!

 Andy: You'll see soon enough!

Sage the Psychic Slytherin: Yeah, gotta hang on to a good thing you know? *snigger* But Obi-Wan (Epi 1 and 2) Anakin (Epi 2) and Captain Typho joined the party. They're arguing with Han and Lando over something or other. *grin*

 Neila Nururodo the Chiss: *bows* Thank you! Um, sure why not? I've nothing better for doing than bring loads of people humour. *grin* Lets see…. Yes, nope, yes, *wonders should she tell* o what the hell Wedge, (wood block, wedge geddit?)  yes, nope, Luke, first one. So four. Well done!

baru-chan: No probs, I enjoyed it. No its not, I joined the reserves cos I wanted to. And they actually let me in. It's a damn good this country's neutral, huh? *snigger* yeah she is, I'll leave that for a bit, it'll be funnier then. It will make sense! I will make it make sense! *looks around clears throat* Yeah, okay, everybody stop staring now! Sure, if you feel that strongly. He finds out from a rebel prisoner? When?! I need to know these things! And since when did this fic follow any kind of parallel line with what really happens in the SW universe? Okay um, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes and yes. Deadly, you got them all right!

Pitbull girl & Panther Cub: Well of course she did! Have you ever actually LOOKED at how those guys march? *shudder* They DO disgrace every armed force in the galaxy! I'm going to leave that particular subject now before I scare everyone. *grin* yeah me too, but not too quickly.

Thanks for all the reviews guys and I hope that you enjoy this *rolls eyes and talks like she's reading from a script* epic and grand instalment of "Two Lunatics and a Sith Lord"!! *Walks away* Who writes this crap? *Thrawn* You do. *Epiphany* *fume* That was hypothetical!!

Anyway, enjoy! And review, please?!

The small group of Imperial Army officers standing by the wall in the large training area stared at Aisling in a kind of shocked amazement. Since she had walked into the large courtyard some ten minutes before and started roaring laughing, she had insulted each one of them personally, grabbed control of the assorted troops training there and proceeded to do a better job of training them than all of the officers put together. 

 'ABOOOOUT! TURN!!' Aisling roared and as one, the three deep twenty long rank in front of her smartly turned about and marched in the other direction. 'Good, keep in time now.' *About bloody time they bloody got it* she thought grimly. 'HALT! Fall out.' Aisling turned and walked smartly up the officers, who eyed her with ill-concealed distaste.

 'Have you finished playing soldiers?' one sneered.

 'No, just wanted to know where the target butts are.' She looked at their faces. 'You have got target butts, don't you? A gun range? A bullseye painted on a large piece of canvas? That is held up in the air? While people shoot at it? Tell me that you train troopers how to shoot straight!'

 'Of course we do,' another snapped.

 'Then what do you have them aim at?'

 'Rebels.' Aisling stared at them, then walked away in disgust. Within half-an-hour she and the troopers had constructed five targets at one side of the training area and the troopers were lining up to take shots. After a few minutes Aisling told them to stop and showed them how to do it properly.

 'Alright listen up,' she shouted after another ten minutes. 'Since you are all showing a marked improvement and most of you are hitting the target at last,' there were a few sniggers and nudging as she said that, 'how about a competition? The person to hit the bulls-eye most times in a row wins the prize.'

 'And what's the prize?' one leered.

 'A night out,' she paused as they got the cat-calls and whatnot out of their systems, 'paid for by everybody here who didn't win. The officers and myself are exempt of course,' she added.  'So, are you up for it?' The way the troopers pushed and shoved to get into place in line showed that, yes they were up for it.

*~*

 'Let me get this straight,' Beth said. 'You walked into a training ground, told a group of officers that they're basically useless and then took the troopers and pretty much bullied them till they did what you said?'

 'Yep.'

 'Have fun?'

 'Oh yeah. Felt like home, except that I'm usually the one getting bullied.' Beth made no reply to this, being preoccupied enough trying to sort out her hair.

 'You do realize that you're meddling in things that aught not to be meddled in, right?' Aisling rolled her eyes.

 'And they call me a fanatic,' she murmured. 'Alright, I'm just about overdue for a lecture. What am I meddling in that aught not to be meddled in?'

 'The Army. I thought that the main reason why the Rebels weren't annihilated and cold by now is because of the inept training of the troopers. You said as much to the Rebels, remember?'

 'I was there wasn't I?'

 'I'm pretty sure of it, though I'm not certain. But what I'm saying is, I thought you,' Beth paused, remembering that they and the apartment were under surveillance. 'Had decided not to interfere with anything here.'

 'Yeah, but then I walked into the training ground and saw "trained men" who didn't know their left foot from their right hand. I had to step in, they were disgracing every armed force in the galaxy.' Aisling scowled, she was beginning to get dammed sick of having to tip-toe around every sentence in case it gave them away. 'And besides,' she muttered in their peculiar mish-mash of languages. 'We've been interfering since Vader walked in the door of my uncles house.'

 'How?' Beth asked, curious despite herself.

 'Because Vader wasn't supposed to crash-land on Earth, he's supposed to have been found comatose in his wrecked TIE Advanced fighter, turned over to Han Solo, who in turn had to hand him over to a bounty hunter called Alfreda Goot to get Leia back who was being held captive by Goot. After which he gets revived and jumps back on the Rebels tails again.'

 'All that?'

 'And more, I'm too annoyed to remember details.'

 'Do I want to know what you're annoyed at now?'

 'How about everything and anything?'

 'Usual complaint then.'

 'Pretty much.'

 'Who won the competition by the way?' Beth asked after a moment.

 'Hmm?' Aisling had been staring at the middle distance. 'Oh, a navy trooper called Colclazure on his way to somewhere else had a go. Got ten straight bulls-eyes. Most the rest of them got was three.'

 'So I'm guessing he's getting a good night tonight.'

 'I daresay.' Aisling looked to her friend who was humming to herself while brushing out her hair. 'Gonna see Eellan tonight?'

 'Yep. His leave is finished tomorrow at noon.'

 'And I'll just bet that you're gonna spend some time with him.'

 'How'd you guess?' Beth asked dryly, enroute to her room and the wardrobe.

 'Are you gonna go back to his place or what?' Aisling asked, following her to the door. 'Cos I have plans tonight.'

 'Yeah, no bother. He's a sergeant so he only shares digs with three other people. I'm sure they wont mind getting booted out,' Beth replied airily.

 'Great, that's settled then.' Aisling went to the sitting-room and flopped down in front of the holo-vid. *Sometimes what a girl needs is junk food and a good movie*

 'Bye,' Beth yelled half-an-hour later, while heading out the door. Aisling waved from the couch and turned her attention back to more important things, like deciding between a horror flick with one fine lead man and an action flick with two. After a while she gave up and headed out to the pub.

*~*

Beth waved to Eellan as he boarded the shuttle that would bring him back to his post on the Avenger.  He had been on leave for two weeks and now he had another tour of duty to perform. Beth was standing on the platform away from the large crowd of other well-wishers.

She watched Eellan climb the ramp and disappeared inside.

 'Now what?' she muttered, suddenly bored. She cast a look around the platform in the hope of seeing something interesting.  There were shuttles bound for other destinations and ports being loaded up with their cargo.

 *Wonder where that one's going?* she thought idly, watching an oversized shuttle being stocked up with food and medical supplies. She cast an eye at its hull, noting the brand-new paint job that didn't quite cover the carbon-scoring. At the back of the shuttle in the side facing her, a door stood open and inside was a dazzling array shining and blinking buttons.

 *Pretty buttons!*

Walking as if one asleep, she drifted over to the shuttle and walked in the invitingly open door. The mass of mechanics and droids for the most part didn't notice her. A power droid saw her enter and the door close and lock behind her, but it didn't take any notice.

 'Okay Charlie!' a mechanic yelled, banging the side. 'Take her up!'

Inside, Beth noticed the thrum of the engines as they powered up but took no heed of it. She had buttons to push!

*~*

 'Alright, alright I'm up, I'm coming,' Aisling muttered as she shuffled across the apartment in answer to the loud knocks coming from the door. 'What!' she snapped as she pulled open the door. The knocker, a hapless officer, jumped a foot and shrank back. Aisling pulled her hair back out of her face and growled, 'Out with it man, I only just fell into bed and I want to get back there as soon as possible.'

 'Package for Miss Bethany Walsh,' the officer said at last, the sight of Aisling just back from the pub wasn't too much of a pretty sight.

 'She isn't here,' Aisling yawned. 'Try Sergeant Eellan Pietts place.'

 'But he's gone back on duty and the apartment is empty,' the officer explained quickly as Aisling started to close the door again.

 'What time?'

 'Now? It's ten-thirty.'

 'No, what time did he go back on duty?'

 'Eight this morning.' Aisling stared at him for a moment, chewing her lower lip and tapping her fingers on the door.

 'I'm sure she'll be back soon,' she said at last, rubbing at her eyes. 'I'll take it and give it to her when she gets in.'

 'I have instructions to give it into her hand,' the officer said as Aisling reached out for the package. 'Sorry, orders.'

 'Aw man,' Aisling half-whined half-growled. 'That means I gotta go look for her. Blast.' She yawned hugely. She blinked sleepily at him. 'What time is it again?'

 'Ten-thirty.'

 'Aw no, I only fell asleep ten minutes ago. Dammetophyte,' she grumbled.

 'I'm sure that when she returns you can send her down to pick it up.'

 'I would, but Beth gets picky about things like this. Last time I didn't go look when she got a package I heard about it for a week.' She rolled her eyes at the officer who grinned back. 'Alright,' she said at last, pushing her tiredness aside. 'Where can I find you when I find her?'

 'I can come with you,' the officer offered. 'I have no business today.'

 'Good,' Aisling said, holding open the door for him. 'You can hold the i.v. bag of caffeine.'

*~*

Aisling walked into Vaders quarters in the Palace. The officer, who introduced himself as Roberts, was hesitant to pass the threshold until Aisling went back caught him by the arm and dragged him in.

 'Where's Beth?' she asked.

 'Don't you ever knock?' Vader said. He was in the middle of preparing to set off in the Avenger again. Aisling shrugged.

 'Why bother? You can sense me coming anyway.' Vader couldn't remember if he told her that, he was sure he didn't. 'Where's Beth?'

 'I thought you guys were meant to be inseparable.' Vaders mask turned to Roberts, who stopped his surreptitious snooping sharpish.

 'She went to see Eellan Piett last night, haven't seen her since.'

 'Who?'

 'Her on-again-of-again boyfriend? A sergeant on the Avenger?'

 'Oh, him.'

 'Have you seen her since?'

 'Who?'

 'Beth!'

 'Nope.'

 'Do you know where she is?'

 'Nope.'

 'Do you care?'

 'Nope.' Aisling rolled her eyes and humphed.

 'Great help you are,' she growled.

 'Usually,' Vader replied lightly. Roberts, only just transferred from the Outer Rim, hadn't come up against either Aisling or Beth before, which was the reason for his bafflement at why Aisling wasn't a pale blue at this stage. 'Look,' Vader said, closing his case. 'I'll have troopers keep an eye out for her if you prefer, but it's probably pointless. Beth's harder to get rid of than a Jawa clan.'

 'Yeah well,' Aisling said heading for the door. 'Search Avenger before you leave. She might be looking for more "pretty buttons." '

 'It's a big ship and we'll be behind on schedule,' Vader told her.

 'Nah,' Aisling disagreed, pausing in the doorway, Roberts already in the hallway. 'Just say something like "Hello George Weasley, so good to have you here," and she'll come running from the other end of the ship before the words have left your mouth.'

Vaders reply was lost as the door closed.

 'Where to now?' Roberts asked as they walked down the hallway.

 'Anywhere that sells big thick strong hot mugs of tea with the consistency of tar.'

 'Why?'

 'Cos right now I'd happily commit murder for a big thick strong hot mug of tea with the consistency of tar.'

  'Er, why?'

 'Cos I'm knackered, freezing and still half pissed and the only remedy is a big thick strong hot mug of tea with the consistency of tar.' They left the Palace and soon arrived at the Lazy Eye.

 'I got it,' Roberts said as Aisling went to the counter. 'Let me guess, a big thick strong hot mug of tea with the consistency of tar?'

 'You read my mind,' Aisling smirked and went to get them a table.

21

Beth glanced around her surroundings for the twentieth time in a quarter as many minutes. Nothing new appeared and nothing fascinating materialized. Except all the blinking and flashing buttons, but as far as she could see, her pushing them had no effect and pushing buttons for the sake of pushing them lost its appeal after a while. There were access panels galore and the wall of buttons was taller then her and took up a whole side of the narrow compartment, beyond that there was nothing.

Both commen sense and previous arguments with Aisling told her that at least there were other organics on board, a droid only ship would have no such niceties as air, gravity and heat. So she only had to wait until someone came back to check on something and then she'd be out of there.

Unfortunatly, she'd never been very good with patience.

It's a good thing then, that the thought that her frantic pressing of buttons earlier in the flight might have caused sufficient damage to the ship to kill off her fellow passangers hadn't occurred to her.

*~*

 'What in the bloody hell is going on with this dammed ship?!' the captain yelled in frustrated panic. He cursed violently as a vent above his head released an almost solid blast of freezing air in response to Beths idle push of the appropriate button back in the compartment.

 'Systems all read as normal sir,' the second-in-command exclaimed, eying the status board with ill-concealed suspicion. 'According to the ship, everything is normal.' The commander didn't have to hear the captains response to that, he was already making his own.  

Since they'd left Imperial City, the ships systems had gone haywire. Lights turned on and off randomly, a whole section of passageway was in pitch-darkness where crew and personnel bumped into each other continually as even the emergency lighting refused to co-operate there. Doors opened and shut by themselves, ignored commands and resisted manual use completely, causing much embarrassment to some personnel as many of the doors thus afflicted were 'fresher doors. Air conditioning was running amok turning some areas frigidly cold and others sweltering hot. The differences in temperature were causing gales to sweep through the ship and this, combined with the malfunctioning water sprinklers, caused one crewman to refer to one particular passageway as Kamino.

 'This kind of malfunctions can only be done manually,' the captain stated, after receiving a report about how three MSE droids had chased a crewman from one end of the ship to the other in order to clean grease marks off his face and hands. 'Get back into the blasted service hatch and find out who and what is causing this!'

 'Yes sir,' the commander said, motioning to another crewman as he left the bridge. 

*~*

Beth looked up as she heard footsteps approach. *Troopers?* she thought happily. She saw two men, one in an officers uniform the other in the uniform of a crewman enter her compartment and examine the wall of buttons. The crewman whistled in surprise.

 'Somebody's gone and buggered up half of these buttons and switches sir,' he said, noticing the altered colours of most of the lights at once.

 'Well can you unbugger them?' the officer asked, scratching his head under his cap and looking at the completely altered view.

 'Of course sir, its just a matter of pushing them all again, unless someone's actually pulled wires it can be all done in few minutes.'

 'Can I do that?' Beth asked, coming out of the shadows. Both crewman and officer spun around and pointed blasters at her. The officer's jaw sagged.

 'You? How the hell did you get in here?' he exclaimed. He had a few run-ins  with her and Aisling before and was well aware of what she was like. Beth gestured to the wall.

 'I saw the buttons,' she offered as explanation. 'So can I?'

 'Can you what?'

 'Push all the buttons again?'

 'Again?' the crewman repeated, he being not been exposed to either girl before. 'You mean you were the one who did all this?'

 'Of course, why?' Beth asked. 'Did they do anything?' Both men treated her to a filthy look as they put their blasters away. 'Please can I?'

 'Can you what?' the officer snapped.

 'Push all the buttons again! Pay attention, you might learn something.'

 'No,' the crewman replied, before the officer could. He wasn't about to let this, this, this lunatic at anymore of the controls of the ship.

 'Oh,' Beth said, looking crestfallen. 'Please?'

 'No!' both men yelled.

 'Alright, alright, there's no need to shout!' Beth yelled back. The officer gave up and motioned Beth to go ahead of him.

 'I'll take her to the captain,' he told the crewman. 'Try and get everything fixed as soon as possible.'

 'Yes sir,' the crewman replied, turning to the wall. 'Like I said, it won't take too long, unless she's gone and pulled something out,' he muttered to himself.

 'Oh!' Beth cried, remembering something. She went back to the crewman and tapped him on the shoulder. 'You might want these back,' she said shoving a large bundle of wires into his hands and scampering off before he could recover.

*~*

 'So Beth came here to see Eellan off,' Aisling mused. Her and Lieutenant Roberts were standing near where the shuttle for the Avenger had taken off earlier that morning. 'What time was that again?'

 'Eight o' clock,' Roberts informed her. Aisling frowned.

 'Are you sure? Beth said Eellan's leave finished at noon.' Roberts shrugged.

 'He wants his own command as soon as possible.' Aisling rolled her eyes.

 'So he makes a good impression at every turn,' she muttered. 'Mad. Anyway, that shuttle left at eight, then what?'

 'Then,' Roberts said, keying into his datapad. 'Nothing.'

 'How do you mean nothing?'

 'I mean nothing, as in zip zilch zero squat.' He handed her the datapad. 'See?' They had tracked Beth this far using tapes form the many security cameras and droids that populated the Palace and surrounding areas. Roberts had his datapad keyed into the network so they had been able to do this quickly.

 'So there were no cameras droids or people around at this point in time?' Aisling asked after a moment. Roberts looked around at the bustling hive of activity that was the spaceport and shrugged.

 'I guess they all had dealings with Beth before and decided to keep their heads down.'

 'Most likely.' Aisling frowned at the scene in front of her. There was nothing remotely suspicious about anything here not even the fact that Beth had gone off without telling anyone, she did that regularly at home and always turned up fine.

 *But this isn't home* she reminded herself. And besides, she had this nagging sensation at the edge of her mind that this wasn't one of those times when Beth would show up after three days and two nights and saunter through like nothing happened. A nail tapped the datapad screen in impatience.

 'You can't tell me that no-one saw anything,' she said at last. 'That's not possible, not with the amount of people around.' Roberts shrugged. 'Give me a list of all shuttles and ships leaving this port at the time,' Aisling said, handing the pad back to him.

 'I can't tell you that,' Roberts replied. 'You're a civilian.' Aisling levelled her green eyes at him in a calm stare. 'Only Army and Navy personnel can know about ship statistics.' Aisling didn't say anything; do anything, stayed staring at him with a slight smile playing around her lips. 'You're neither, you're not authorized to know any of it.' The level gaze stayed on him. He fidgeted under it, trying to avoid her unblinking eyes. 'I'll get into serious trouble,' he whined. Still, she stared at him with that maddening smile. 'I'm doing this under protest,' he grumbled at last.

 'Protest noted,' Aisling murmured then looked away, to the lieutenant's relief.

 'Okay,' he said after a while. 'Ships that left here at eight this morning, the shuttle to the Avenger, a cargo ship to Yavin 4, three patrol ships, two droid ships to Mon Calamari and a private shuttle to the other side of Imperial City.'

 'Any cameras on them before and during take-off?' There were several. They watched them in silence. Aisling shook her head as the last one ended.

 'Not in any of them,' she stated. She paused a moment, thinking. 'What about the shuttle to the Avenger? There would have been a few people to say goodbye, right? Including Beth. Are there any vids on them?' Roberts was already punching in the command and the reply soon came up.

 'Stop!' Aisling said, about halfway through the first clip. The sequence froze accordingly. 'There she is,' she told him, pointing out Beths figure in the display. Play it and keep an eye on her.' The clip went on again and they watched as Beth waved goodbye to Piett then looked around as though bored. They saw her head go back as if she had seen something interesting, then she moved out of view of the camera. They looked through the other tapes, but it seemed like Beth's path had put her into a blind spot in the sensors.

Aisling chewed on her lower lip. 'She was standing where?' she muttered to herself, then took what seemed to be the appropriate position. 'And she looked over there.' Roberts looked to where her outstretched hand pointed.

 'That's another landing pad,' he said helpfully.

 'So which shuttle left there at eight?'

 'Er,' he checked the datapad. 'None of them,' he said after a moment.

 'Eh? How's that?' Roberts looked at the landing pad, it was the right spot and he had looked for the right number, but the computer said that nothing left there at the time given.

 'I don't,' he said then paused. 'We got the wrong time,' he muttered. 'The shuttle left for the Avenger at eight, but the men would have boarded closer to quarter to eight. Knowing Piett, he wouldn't have gone on later than half-seven.'

 'So change the time request,' Aisling told him needlessly. He gave her a look as he did so.

 'We have one freighter that left at twenty-five past seven,' he said at last. 'It left from that landing pad and its destination was,' Roberts voice trailed off and he groaned.

 'What? Where is it going?'

 'Carida.'      

*~*

 'Have you lost all brain functions? I'm not bringing her to Carida,' the captain of the freighter hissed to his second-in-command. 'Force knows what she'll get up to and what they'll do to us when they realize that we brought her there. The spice mines of Kessel will be a picnic!'

 'What will we do with her then? Drop her off at Arkania?'

 'No, that'll put us behind schedule and these goods are already two weeks late. We'll throw her out of the air-lock,' the captain decided at last. The commander glanced into the room where Beth was currently being held and right now was driving her guard nuts. He'd throw her out himself and do it with a smile, but for one or two worries.

 'What of Lord Vader?' he asked the captain.

 'What of him?'

 'Lord Vader is said to be fond of this girl and her friend,' the commander explained. 'If he should trace her here he would be, displeased.' The captain winced, he hadn't thought of that.  'And that friend of hers is never far behind,' the commander went on. 'She is said to be just as vicious when she wants to be.' The captain paled further.

 'Alright,' he sighed after a moment. 'We'll take her to Carida.' *Force help us we're taking her to Carida!*

In case you don't know, Carida is the planet-wide academy for training troopers. *rubs hands together and smiles slowly*

Fun will be had!