[A/N. This chapter might be a little shorter than some of the others, but
at the same time it covers a longer period of time than any other. Because
of this I wanted to make it a little shorter. Hopefully this way the
chapter, and indeed the story and proceeding chapters will flow better?]
THIRTEEN:
Rather than going out looking for a job Billy gave me one in the shop, something I was grateful for. After all what skills did I really have? I'd finished high school but I had never worked before! Holly rang Billy to see how he was going one afternoon and I saw him glance over at me as he said, "She did? I wonder where she went!" Holly said something and he nodded. "I guess it's possible but I doubt it." I tuned out and went back to serving the old woman who wanted something to help alleviate some of the pain of her arthritis.
After she had gone and Billy was off the phone he told me how Cary had been devastated by the note I'd left him, and so had Aunt Sara and May. "He seems to think you've run off with another man." Billy told me.
I felt sick. "He should know I would never do that!" I said unhappily.
"Well you didn't write why you were leaving in the note did you?" Billy replied. "I told you that you should have told him why."
"I couldn't!" I protested. "I just couldn't."
Billy shrugged. "Well he'll get over it eventually."
"I'm sure he will." I said softly. "But sometimes I wonder whether I'll get over it or not!"
Billy changed the subject. "I think Holly suspects you could be here, or that you've been here at least."
I was horrified. "I don't want anyone to know where I am!" I cried.
"Relax. Even if she does know she won't tell anyone. That's Holly for you." Billy assured me.
"I hope so." I said, my fingers crossed. Seeing anyone, whether it be Cary or Holly would be far too painful right then. I needed time to get over the pain of my loss.
*****
Time passed quickly. Whilst I wasn't completely over the pain of losing Cary I was getting better. Before I knew it I'd been living with Billy and working in the shop for almost a month. And it was about time for me to stop being a burden on Billy. I got the paper and sat in the kitchen looking for both jobs and apartments. Billy came in to see what I was doing, and a strange look crossed his face as he asked me.
"I thought it was about time I stopped taking up your home and your life." I admitted. "I know you haven't said anything because you're too polite to say something like that, but I'm sure you've been wondering when I'll be moving on."
Billy looked thoughtful. "And what are you going to do if you can't get a job? Are you going to spend that huge check your Grandfather gave you?" He asked.
I shrugged. "I guess I might have to. I didn't want to, but if I have to I will."
"If you HAVE to?" Billy repeated, and then he shook his head. "Listen Melody, as stupid as this might sound I like having you around here. You're fun, and you don't get in my way so I still have my personal space. And the best thing is you don't look at me like some crippled freak like so many other women do. I don't think you even see this wheelchair!"
His speech shocked me and it took me a moment to recover my poise. "Billy, if women can't see beyond that chair then they're not good enough for you anyway!" I declared firmly.
Billy laughed. "That's exactly what Holly says. She gets really fired up about it!"
"As she should!" I replied.
"So will you stay?" Billy asked.
I nodded, and folded up the paper. "For now." I conceded.
Billy smiled, and then the door chimes over the shop door chimed and he hurried away to serve the customer. As he rolled his wheelchair away I noticed how easy he made it look. His arms were so strong.
*****
One day I took the afternoon off and went out on my own to do a bit of sightseeing. I stood at the top of the Empire State Building looking down on the city. From so far up it made the huge city look like a kid's toy. I couldn't stay out there long though since it was growing colder each day. I could hardly believe that in only a few weeks it would be Christmas. It had now been exactly two months since I left Provincetown behind me and I'd noticed I could speak about Cary without getting all upset and wanting to cry. I hoped he was the same, that he'd found someone else to love and wasn't pining over me and what could be! The only day which had been really hard had been about a month ago when it would have been the day of our wedding.
When I returned to the shop I walked into the kitchen to start dinner and was surprised to see Billy had already cooked it, and that the table was set with nice china and candles in the middle.
"I see you've ruined my surprise." Billy said from behind me, and I laughed and turned round to see him.
"Sorry," I said. "I thought I'd start with dinner, but it seems you've beaten me to it. What's with the table setting? Is it a special occasion?"
Billy looked thoughtful. "I don't know." He said.
I was about to ask how he could not know when something in his face stopped me, so instead I said that I'd go and put my things in my room and then be back. When I returned Billy insisted I sit down and he would serve the meal. "And how about some wine?" He asked. "This is one of the best ones I could find."
I hadn't really drank since the incident with Adam Jackson and I hesitated, but then decided one glass couldn't really hurt me, and Billy poured me a glass. I took a bite of the tofu burgers he'd cooked and was impressed.
"Billy," I said waving my fork around. "You are a genius when it comes to cooking. Who would ever have thought tofu could taste so great?"
Billy actually blushed, and muttered something about having had a lot of practice. I poured myself another glass of wine, feeling completely relaxed and indeed at home.
"I've been thinking," I said. "I've always wanted to go to college, but because of getting married and all I kind of gave up the dream. So I've been thinking I might apply to go to college here for the semester. I could pay for it with my grandfather's money, and I could work part time to support myself."
"Are you talking about moving out again?" Billy asked.
"Well I'm not sure. I don't think I could afford to live in one of the dorms, so I'd have to live off campus, which suits me fine anyway.." I said thoughtfully.
"Why would you want to go find somewhere else to live when everything is fine here?" Billy asked.
"I don't know." I said with a shrug. "I'm still thinking it all through Billy."
Billy put down his knife and fork and wheeled himself around the table until he was next to me. "Listen Melody, I don't want you to leave. I love having you round here." He cleared his throat and took a deep breath. "Melody, I love YOU."
I didn't know what to say. If I was going to be honest I'd felt myself grow so comfortable with Billy, and we got on so well too, but I wasn't sure whether or not that was love, or just friendship. And even if it was love was it too soon for me to let myself love someone else?
"Melody?" Billy asked waiting.
I told him what I was thinking and he nodded wisely. "You're right- if you don't know what it is then there is no point really. Just forget I said anything." And he turned his face away.
"Billy!" I cried, reaching over for his hand. "Don't be like that! I didn't say I didn't care about you did I? I just have to work out my feelings. If you love me, like you claim, you'll be patient while I work it out."
Billy turned back to me and nodded. "You're right of course. Sometimes I think you're wiser than me Melody." He said with a little smile. "I DO love you, and I am perfectly willing to wait while you work out what you want."
"Thank you for being so understanding." I said. "Many people wouldn't."
"I'm not 'many people' though." Billy said.
I nodded. "I know."
THIRTEEN:
Rather than going out looking for a job Billy gave me one in the shop, something I was grateful for. After all what skills did I really have? I'd finished high school but I had never worked before! Holly rang Billy to see how he was going one afternoon and I saw him glance over at me as he said, "She did? I wonder where she went!" Holly said something and he nodded. "I guess it's possible but I doubt it." I tuned out and went back to serving the old woman who wanted something to help alleviate some of the pain of her arthritis.
After she had gone and Billy was off the phone he told me how Cary had been devastated by the note I'd left him, and so had Aunt Sara and May. "He seems to think you've run off with another man." Billy told me.
I felt sick. "He should know I would never do that!" I said unhappily.
"Well you didn't write why you were leaving in the note did you?" Billy replied. "I told you that you should have told him why."
"I couldn't!" I protested. "I just couldn't."
Billy shrugged. "Well he'll get over it eventually."
"I'm sure he will." I said softly. "But sometimes I wonder whether I'll get over it or not!"
Billy changed the subject. "I think Holly suspects you could be here, or that you've been here at least."
I was horrified. "I don't want anyone to know where I am!" I cried.
"Relax. Even if she does know she won't tell anyone. That's Holly for you." Billy assured me.
"I hope so." I said, my fingers crossed. Seeing anyone, whether it be Cary or Holly would be far too painful right then. I needed time to get over the pain of my loss.
*****
Time passed quickly. Whilst I wasn't completely over the pain of losing Cary I was getting better. Before I knew it I'd been living with Billy and working in the shop for almost a month. And it was about time for me to stop being a burden on Billy. I got the paper and sat in the kitchen looking for both jobs and apartments. Billy came in to see what I was doing, and a strange look crossed his face as he asked me.
"I thought it was about time I stopped taking up your home and your life." I admitted. "I know you haven't said anything because you're too polite to say something like that, but I'm sure you've been wondering when I'll be moving on."
Billy looked thoughtful. "And what are you going to do if you can't get a job? Are you going to spend that huge check your Grandfather gave you?" He asked.
I shrugged. "I guess I might have to. I didn't want to, but if I have to I will."
"If you HAVE to?" Billy repeated, and then he shook his head. "Listen Melody, as stupid as this might sound I like having you around here. You're fun, and you don't get in my way so I still have my personal space. And the best thing is you don't look at me like some crippled freak like so many other women do. I don't think you even see this wheelchair!"
His speech shocked me and it took me a moment to recover my poise. "Billy, if women can't see beyond that chair then they're not good enough for you anyway!" I declared firmly.
Billy laughed. "That's exactly what Holly says. She gets really fired up about it!"
"As she should!" I replied.
"So will you stay?" Billy asked.
I nodded, and folded up the paper. "For now." I conceded.
Billy smiled, and then the door chimes over the shop door chimed and he hurried away to serve the customer. As he rolled his wheelchair away I noticed how easy he made it look. His arms were so strong.
*****
One day I took the afternoon off and went out on my own to do a bit of sightseeing. I stood at the top of the Empire State Building looking down on the city. From so far up it made the huge city look like a kid's toy. I couldn't stay out there long though since it was growing colder each day. I could hardly believe that in only a few weeks it would be Christmas. It had now been exactly two months since I left Provincetown behind me and I'd noticed I could speak about Cary without getting all upset and wanting to cry. I hoped he was the same, that he'd found someone else to love and wasn't pining over me and what could be! The only day which had been really hard had been about a month ago when it would have been the day of our wedding.
When I returned to the shop I walked into the kitchen to start dinner and was surprised to see Billy had already cooked it, and that the table was set with nice china and candles in the middle.
"I see you've ruined my surprise." Billy said from behind me, and I laughed and turned round to see him.
"Sorry," I said. "I thought I'd start with dinner, but it seems you've beaten me to it. What's with the table setting? Is it a special occasion?"
Billy looked thoughtful. "I don't know." He said.
I was about to ask how he could not know when something in his face stopped me, so instead I said that I'd go and put my things in my room and then be back. When I returned Billy insisted I sit down and he would serve the meal. "And how about some wine?" He asked. "This is one of the best ones I could find."
I hadn't really drank since the incident with Adam Jackson and I hesitated, but then decided one glass couldn't really hurt me, and Billy poured me a glass. I took a bite of the tofu burgers he'd cooked and was impressed.
"Billy," I said waving my fork around. "You are a genius when it comes to cooking. Who would ever have thought tofu could taste so great?"
Billy actually blushed, and muttered something about having had a lot of practice. I poured myself another glass of wine, feeling completely relaxed and indeed at home.
"I've been thinking," I said. "I've always wanted to go to college, but because of getting married and all I kind of gave up the dream. So I've been thinking I might apply to go to college here for the semester. I could pay for it with my grandfather's money, and I could work part time to support myself."
"Are you talking about moving out again?" Billy asked.
"Well I'm not sure. I don't think I could afford to live in one of the dorms, so I'd have to live off campus, which suits me fine anyway.." I said thoughtfully.
"Why would you want to go find somewhere else to live when everything is fine here?" Billy asked.
"I don't know." I said with a shrug. "I'm still thinking it all through Billy."
Billy put down his knife and fork and wheeled himself around the table until he was next to me. "Listen Melody, I don't want you to leave. I love having you round here." He cleared his throat and took a deep breath. "Melody, I love YOU."
I didn't know what to say. If I was going to be honest I'd felt myself grow so comfortable with Billy, and we got on so well too, but I wasn't sure whether or not that was love, or just friendship. And even if it was love was it too soon for me to let myself love someone else?
"Melody?" Billy asked waiting.
I told him what I was thinking and he nodded wisely. "You're right- if you don't know what it is then there is no point really. Just forget I said anything." And he turned his face away.
"Billy!" I cried, reaching over for his hand. "Don't be like that! I didn't say I didn't care about you did I? I just have to work out my feelings. If you love me, like you claim, you'll be patient while I work it out."
Billy turned back to me and nodded. "You're right of course. Sometimes I think you're wiser than me Melody." He said with a little smile. "I DO love you, and I am perfectly willing to wait while you work out what you want."
"Thank you for being so understanding." I said. "Many people wouldn't."
"I'm not 'many people' though." Billy said.
I nodded. "I know."