Can I make an announcement?
Thank you.
I BROKE THREE HUNDRED!!!!! 300!!!! WOOOHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
*clears throat, straightens clothes* Thank you.
I'd like to thank everyone who ever gave me a review, I love you guys! You all rule!! Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthnakoyuthankyouthankyou!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay, dedications! (three hundred aaaaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaetcetcadinfinitum!!!!)
Unfortunately, if I tried making comments to every single review, I would have no fingers left and would be here until next Tuesday. So I'm afraid it'll just have to be a list, but I'll answer questions, k?
Btw, insert " Thank you so much you rule" everywhere you see this symbol ^_^
Lady Umbra ^_^
Neila Nurouda the Chiss; Yep, I'll send you some. ^_^
Annoying brat ^_^
Yoda the Tenth ^_^
Merrymoll ^_^
Neko Megami ^_^
Dragonlet: A Chiss is an alien with blue skin, glowing red eyes and blue-black hair from the world of Csilla that is way out on the Unknown Regions. An example of a Chiss is Grand Admiral Thrawn. Okay, sorted? Yay. ^_^
Princess Shinra ^_^
Baru-chan Hint gotten! I will use the song! ^_^
Little Hyena ^_^
Jacintha ^_^
Me!!! ^_^
Sage of Dreams the Duranie: It went away, but then it came back. ^_^
Drama_Princess87: Borrow away, what else are mentors for? Loved the chapter btw! ^_^
Amaris Sandstone ^_^
Weaver ^_^
Wedge Antilles: By the bucketful if you want it! ^_^
Andy ^_^
Ladyrouge ^_^
Regeane Yeah, I know that. ^_^
And everybody who reviewed gets a years supply of green powder!!
And now, what you've been waiting for, the twenty-fourth chapter of "Two Lunatics and a Sith Lord"
By the way THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!
^_^
And now for the story
'What?!'
'Oh come on, it's a traditional party trick back home.'
'That's a traditional party trick?'
Aisling and Beth had arrived in Imperial City the evening before, but the stim powder had worn off by then and they spent some fourteen hours sleeping off the after-affects. Now they were trying to convince a group of troopers into doing something.
'Well, why wouldn't you do it?'
'Because it's humiliating?'
'Oh please, without your helmets and whatnot on, no-one will even know you're troopers.'
'Lord Vader will,' the leader muttered darkly.
'Are ye men or not?' Aisling asked scathingly, dropping all too easily into the stereotypical Irish mammy voice. 'Look at ye, too scared to have some fun and indulge a couple of homesick girls at the same time.' Aisling sneered and tossed her head. 'Ye're not men, ye're geldings.' She looked scornfully at the group and they unconsciously dropped their heads minutely.
'No we're not,' one muttered defiantly.
'Then think for yourselves for once,' Beth snapped, which sparked off a whole new round.
Eventually, after more arguing and insults thrown back and forth, Beth threw up her hands and announced, 'We'll pay.'
Finally, after wrangling over the fee, Aisling and Beth shook hands with the troopers to seal the deal, then walked to the nearest eatery, humming nonchantly while the troopers went off somewhere else.
'Think they'll do it?' Beth asked, giggling slightly.
'They'd better,' Aisling answered. 'I'm down twenty bucks if they don't.'
'But we're down ten per if they do,' Beth pointed out.
'No we're not,' Aisling replied, smirking a bit. 'We decided on ten bucks.'
'Yeah, ten per trooper.'
'Nope, neither the word "each" nor "per" featured at all.' The two looked at each other, then burst into laughter, rubbing their hands together in anticipation.
*~*
Vader blinked sleepily behind his mask. Yet another blasted Court appearance! He had once tried to figure out how many times he'd had to stand behind Palpatines throne at the Force-dammed things, but the number was so depressingly large that he gave up in disgust.
Of all the things he needed to be doing! Those blasted Rebels had interrupted the work on his new Super Star Destroyer again and there were areas of mild revolt in the Outer Rim, to name but two of his current duties as right-hand-Sith to the Emperor.
*And* he added, as he looked towards Aisling and Beth dressed to the nines and behaving themselves for once. *I've still got to figure out what to do with that pair of…* he paused. They were behaving themselves. They weren't giggling at obscene jokes and they weren't cracking them either. They weren't singing, outrageously flirting or drinking with abandon either. They were simply making polite chitchat with the few nobles and officers who still dared to go near them, while the rest of the Court cast suspicious eyes towards them. And they were smiling!
Vader started to look around the Hall, his hand automatically going to the lightsaber on his belt. They had something planned, he knew it. Now to figure out what it was and stop it before it happened.
Even as the realization of their scheming crystallized in his mind, Vader, through the Force, felt a strange group approach the hall, though the reason for their strangeness didn't show itself until the doors at the other end opened and six men ran in quick succession through the Court.
Bare-ass naked.
Several screams were heard as courtiers fainted and "young eyes" were covered –most were very quickly uncovered again by the owners of those eyes- as the men ran through, although there were several who started hooting and cheering. Discretely of course. Two men cartwheeled for a while and one ran on his hands while another contented himself with jumping up and down in front of a group while shouting, "Do I make you horny baby?"
It was over quickly as they sprinted through the hall but before leaving they all turned and hollered back into the room, "Do I make you horny? Randy? Do I make you horny baby?!" then raced off, their laughter tapering off into the distance.
There was a stunned silence for all of five seconds. Then a muffled snort was heard and all eyes were turned to where Bethany Walsh and Aisling O' Conner were having fits on the floor, hands clamped over their mouths, faces red and tears streaming down their cheeks.
'Vader,' Palpatine said quietly. 'Those two are to be dealt with, understand?'
'It will be my pleasure master,' Vader rumbled and he started to go off to do just that, then he paused and turned back as if just remembering something.
From her helpless state of giggles on the ground, Aisling could just about make out Vader leaning close to Palpatine, as if to whisper something to the Emperor. She knew that she should be worried from the evil sneer on Palpatine face when Vader was finished, but the memory of "Do I make you horny baby?" was too much and she was struck by a new attack of the giggles.
' "Look at my sexy body," ' Beth murmured, Scottish accent an' all, provoking near blackouts for both girls.
Vader strode though towards them, the courtiers melting from his path. He reached over, caught both by the ear and dragged them out, their cries of protest still mingled with laughter.
When the doors closed behind the trio with a resounding bang, the entire Court let out a spontaneous resounding cheer.
*~*
The two girls looked up at Vader expectantly. Her had dragged them halfway through the Palace, went into a deserted room and threw them in, closing the door behind him.
'You two,' he growled ominously. 'Have exhausted both mine and the Emperor's patience.'
'Is that bad?' Beth asked brightly, before he could continue.
'Relatively,' Aisling answered, seesawing her hand sideways in mid-air as if hazarding a guess.
'And that means?' But before Aisling could reply, Vader picked both of them up with the Force, lifted them a few feet straight up and let them fall onto the floor.
'What was that for?' Aisling grumbled, rubbing her hip.
'The Emperor and I,' Vader snapped, feeling that he'd lost the initiative. 'Are sick to the back teeth of your antics.'
'Took longer then I thought it would,' Beth shrugged.
'We're sending you home!' Vader roared in frustration. The two girls blinked at him. 'You are going home at the earliest possible time and you are staying there.' Aisling and Beth looked at each other, confused. Hadn't they screwed up the nav-computer on the Avenger?
'Home?' Beth whispered. 'We're going home?' There was a malicious glint in her eye that Aisling knew well and she grinned. 'I wanna go home!' she yelled. 'And I wanna go now!'
'You are going tomorrow,' Vader told them.
'I'm gonna see "The Chamber of Secrets" ' Beth crowed. 'And get to read "Order of the Phoenix." '
'And I get to see "Attack of the Clones" again!' Aisling cried, jumping up and doing a happy dance. 'And find out what happens in Episode Three! WOOHOOOO!!'
'We're going home!' both girls cried, running to Vader and hugging him. Or attempting to at least, seeing as the Sith Lord had retreated through the door sharpish as soon as they started towards him.
After he had gone, Aisling and Beth calmed down, and looked at each other.
'Now what?' Beth wondered. Aisling shrugged.
'I guess,' she said slowly. 'We gotta say good-bye to a lot of people.' Beth glanced at her friend who was staring up at the ceiling, a completely innocent look on her face, the one that always warns of mischief.
'Yes, we do,' she agreed. 'Palpatine for one.'
'Xizor for another.'
'And of course Vader.'
'Yes.'
There was a moment's silence, before they both giggled evilly and began hatching plans.
An hour later, they emerged from the small room and were successfully hiding the evil smirks and chuckles as they went about laying the foundations of their schemes.
Oh they were going alright. But with a bang.
*~*
'You're going?'
'Tomorrow, so we thought that you might like to come out with us tonight, you know a farewell kinda thing.'
'Who else?'
'Daala in town?'
'No, off on a mission.'
'Then it's just you Beth and me. Sound good?'
'Sounds great. Nine o' clock okay?'
'Yep. We'll be at your place for nine. See you tonight.'
'See you then.'
*~*
Beth glanced into one of the numerous halls in the Palace. The computer's sensors placed her target as being in the area of this hall. She moved a bag from one hand to the other and scanned the crowd, looking for a certain tall green-skinned individual.
'Gotcha,' she muttered, a half-smile half-grimace twisting her lip. She brushed her hair back off her face and strode towards the unsuspecting Faleen Prince.
He was preoccupied with an attractive blond female when Beth came up to him and tapped him on the shoulder. He glanced around vaguely, then did a double-take.
'Miss Walsh,' he said politely, discretely moving himself away from the line of fire. 'Long time no see. Is there, anything that I can help you with?'
'I hope so,' Beth replied shortly. She reached into the bag and Xizor set himself up to run for it. But she pulled out a plastic open-ended tube with a kind of pump at one end a blue and yellow flag on the side instead of the high-powered blaster he was expecting. She handed the contraption to the perplexed Faleen. The blonde leaned forward slightly.
'What is that?' she asked, though she had a faint suspicion.
'His Swedish-made penis enlarger,' Beth answered offhandedly. She continued rummaging in the bag, oblivious to the gathering crowd, the blonde's sudden interest in the door or Xizors skin tone going from green to a kind of red.
'But this isn't mine,' he protested, shoving the thing back at her.
'Oh yes it is,' Beth told him. 'That things been at my place for the last week and since you didn't pick it up, I thought I'd better give it to you myself. After all' she continued. 'It's not like you don't need it.'
'How could I have left it at your place when it's not mine?' he hissed, getting more embarrassed and therefore more pissed off by the moment.
In answer Beth pulled a few pieces of paper from her bag and read them aloud.
'Receipt for Swedish-made penis enlarger signed by Prince Xizor of the Faleen.'
'But it's not mine! I don't even know how it's used!'
'Instructions for the use of the Swedish-made penis enlarger with notes in the hand-writing of Prince Xizor of the Faleen.'
'They're forgeries!' Xizor protested hotly, keenly aware of both the sudden lack of attractive female blonde by his side and the muffled sniggering coming from the crowd that had gathered around them. 'I demand an explanation!' As if oblivious to the Faleen Princes protest, Beth pulled the last of the items from the bag.
'And a book,' she continued, showing the cover which had Xizor looking all officious and prideful holding a certain item in plain view. 'Called, "It's a Swedish made penis enlarger, no explanations needed" written by, Prince Xizor of the Faleen." ' She threw the book suddenly and Xizor reflexively caught it, to the evil delight of the spectators.
'Now,' Beth said, brushing her hands off. 'That's that sorted. I'll see you around.'
Xizor gaped at her back as she left the hall, and then stared at the item in his hands before chucking it in the rubbish chute in as obvious a manner as he could manage before striding from the hall with his dignity hanging in tatters. But he noted the number of the chute and made a mental note to send a droid to retrieve it later.
Oblivious to this twist, Beth was scampering back towards the apartment she shared with Aisling. Now that was done, she had to get ready to go out!
*Girls nights out just rock!*
*~*
While all this was going on, Aisling was busy enough h herself.
She strolled out of the last store with two full bags weighing down each hand. Throwing them into the speeders cargo hold, she set off for the Palace in double-quick time.
Back in her apartment, "borrowed" a courier droid and placed in its care a certain sealed box which contained all the items she had bought on her spree. She keyed in its destination and put it in report mode, before sending it on its way.
About half-an-hour later, the droid returned. Thanks to its software and very nature, it had been able to by-pass the security blocks and enters the intended apartment, deposit it's package and then returned to her. Aisling paid the fee with a smirk and let the droid out.
'Mission accomplished?' Beth asked, walking into the flat.
'Done and dusted. You?' Beth chuckled and headed for her room.
'Concluded as expected.'
Aisling giggled evilly and went to get ready herself. After all. It just wasn't good manners to keep an Emperors Hand waiting.
*~*
'What's that one?'
'Which one?'
'Third row, fourth from the left. The other left!'
'Er, Old Overcoat.'
'Three of them please.'
'Is that all?' the bartender asked, pushing the large and clinkingly full tray towards the woman.
'For now,' Beth replied, taking the tray and carefully walking towards the pool table where she'd left her companions. 'Alright my girls,' she said, setting the tray down at a table. 'We are gonna have a good night tonight!'
'Who's forking out for all this?' Mara asked, eyeing the over-spilling tray of shots with appreciative anticipation. 'Cos there definitely ain't enough money in the kitty for that lot.'
'The Empire's footing the bill,' Beth said airily, setting up the shots in lines. 'Who else?'
'Really? How'd you manage that?'
'Moaning,' Aisling replied.
'Bitching,' Beth added.
'Whining.'
'Guilt tripping.'
'And when all else failed, the old.' Aisling looked upwards through her lashes and put on a shy smile. ' "You know I never really knew how much you meant to me" routine always works a treat.'
'With one exception,' Beth pointed out, handing her friend her first shot. Aisling looked at her quizzically.
'Really? When? 1,2,3.' The three women knocked their drinks back at the same time and three shot glasses slammed on to the table in unison.
'That time in town,' Beth told her. 'When you wanted to skip the queue to the bar?'
'What?' Mara said laughed. 'There's a story here!'
'Oh gods,' Aisling murmured, a look of astonishment crossing her face. 'I had completely forgotten that.' Then she groaned. 'Oh gods I had completely forgotten that. Thanks a lot Beth!'
'Any time,' Beth said, smirking at the black look sent her way. 'We were out on the town,' she told Mara Jade as Aisling grabbed her next drink and handed the others theirs. Three heads went back, three glasses slammed down. 'And we were on this niteclub. Music blaring, people dancing, finers galore, you know a bloody great night. Then Aisling decides that she wants a drink but doesn't want to queue for an hour for it.'
'The place was packed,' Aisling took up. 'And people were five deep at the bar. Would you want to queue for it?'
'I see your point,' Mara agreed, taking up the third line of shots and handing them out.
'Good,' Aisling smirked. 'Anyway, I started chatting up this lad and got him to go to the bar for me.'
'Did you offer to pay for yours?' Mara asked. Aisling looked insulted.
'Well since I asked for a pint and a double shot yes,' she retorted. 'I wasn't gonna cheat the lad and fleece him as well, but he wouldn't take the money.' She threw back her shot and the other two followed her example.
'I still can't believe you would've paid for it,' Beth giggled, getting giddy from the shots, which by the way were double. 'I wouldn't have.'
'Which could be why I'm me and you're you,' Aisling replied and hiccupped. Somehow the others saw this as insanely hilarious and they burst out laughing.
'Anyway,' Mara sighed when they had recovered. 'What happened then?'
'Well he went to get the drinks and I went back on the pull.'
'Oh you didn't!'
'Of course I did.' Aisling eyed her fourth and final shot but apparently decided against it for a while. 'The reason why I went after him was to get me drinks, that was it, the only reason. There was a niteclub full of men, most them fine and I was single. You really expect me not to have gone back on the hunt?'
'Not really,' Mara shrugged. 'Just thought I'd object for morality's sake. Aisling made a comment about exactly what she could do with morality and where that made the group of eavesdroppers at the next table exchange shocked looks and her two companions nod sagely.
'Anyhoo,' Beth took the story back up again as she picked up the fourth shots, the Old Overcoat, and handed them out. 'I wasn't there for most of this you understand. We normally split up when we get into a club, we cover more ground that way.'
'Isn't that dangerous?'
'Nah, we keep an eye out for each other,' Aisling explained.
'But I got back to Aisling just before the guy showed back up, set of drinks in hand,' Beth said
'And she took my shot,' Aisling grumbled. 'My double shot that I'd been looking forward to the whole night.'
'I gave you one for it,' Beth pointed out.
'But it's the principle of thing!'
'Back to the story!' Mara said, before they got completely sidetracked.
'As I was saying,' cue look at Aisling, 'the guy shows up, hands her the drinks, alright drink, and just stands there, sipping at his.'
'And?' Mara prompted.
'And he wouldn't go away,' Aisling wailed. 'he kept following us no matter where we went. And this was early in the night so he was tagging along all dammed night!'
'We finished our drinks and went onto the dance floor,' Beth said, when the three shot glasses had been drained and slammed down. 'And guess who started dancing beside us?'
'Beside us?' Aisling growled. 'A bit more than beside us.'
'Alright, damn near on top of us,' Beth acknowledged as Aisling had a cringe fit and gulped down a third of her pint. 'For the whole night, this guy would not go away.'
'Eventually I shifted him,' Aisling said with a slight shudder. 'I had to! He just wouldn't take the hint! We told him to go away, bugger off and get the fuck away from us but would he leave?!'
'Did it do any good?' Mara asked.
'That depends on your definition of 'good,' ' Beth said. 'If by 'good' you mean the result you wanted and him leaving us alone, then no. Hell no actually.'
'What then?'
'Called a couple of bouncers,' Aisling smirked. 'Had them have a 'talk' with him, seemed to solve the problem.'
'Couldn't do it yourself no?' Mara taunted.
'And loose all the sympathy points from the other lads?' Aisling looked at her strangely. 'Are you mad?'
Right about this point, a group approached the pool table where they were rather lazily playing pool and made to take over the table.
'Back off,' Beth snapped.
'You're not using it,' one protested.
'That's not the point,' Aisling told them, which seemed to confuse them a little bit.
'Then what is the point?' another asked.
'This is our damn table and it will stay our damn table until we don't want it to be our damn table anymore,' Mara said in a low voice and a smile. The group looked at each other, looked at the three women and decided to look elsewhere.
'That was fun,' Aisling said as the group wandered off. She looked at the pool table. 'whose turn?'
'Mine,' Mara said.
Later.
'You have got to be kidding me!'
'I am not, I swear that is what happened. I walked in and there was Palpatine trying out the latest dance moves in front of a mirror!' The three nearly fell off their stools with the laughter that image invoked. 'And,' Mara gasped. 'And it bore a strong resemblance to that one you two had the troopers dancing, the Macaroon or something.'
'The Macarena!' Aisling squealed. 'No!'
'Oh my Gods,' Beth gasped. 'Palpatine dancing the Macarena. Oh that is gonna haunt me!'
'Haunt you?' Mara cried. 'You're not the one that walked in on it!'
'And speaking of walking in,' Aisling murmured, her eyes tracking something, or someone. 'Do excuse me,' she said slipping from her stool and disappearing. Beth took out a piece of paper in preparation.
'What's the score?' Mara asked after a while.
'Aislings ahead of me by.' Beth glanced up as Aisling sauntered back and winked. 'Two,' she said, making another mark in a certain column. 'And I'm ahead of you by three.'
'Right,' Mara said, gulping the last of her pint. 'Back in five,' she said heading off into the crowd. The other two cheered her on loudly.
'Hey, live band,' Beth said, glancing towards the back of the bar. They were between the door and the bar itself, the best vantage point in other words. 'Wonder if they're any good.'
'We'll find out soon enough,' Aisling shrugged. Then she shuddered and groaned.
'What?'
'I was trying to get the image of Palpatine doing the Macarena out of my head, and Vader doing the Twist appeared.'
'Greased Lightening,' Beth told her. 'That's what popped into my mind.'
'You mean you have a mind?'
'Oh you funny funny little bitch you.'
'Your sarcasm is killing me,' Aisling said in a monotone.
'Really? How painfully?'
Mara Jade rejoined them and sat back up on her stool with a sly smirk. She took the paper from Beth made a correction to her column and handed it back. Beth's eyebrow rose.
'How did you manage that?'
'Smashball team,' Mara replied. 'Which means, if I recall the rules of the game correctly, you gotta buy the next round Beth.'
'But,' Beth protested, eying the queue.
'Oh quit stalling,' Aisling said. 'Empty glasses need a-fillin.' Jump to it.'
'Oh, go jump yourself,' Beth grumbled, heading for the bar with ill-grace.
'Smashball team huh?' Aisling said, scanning the crowd.
'Yep.'
'Sweet.'
'Should we go pay a visit?' Mara asked after a while. Aisling looked at her, then smiled slowly.
'I think we should.'
'Shall we go?'
'Of course we shall.'
After retrieving Beth, they found the Smashball team.
Enough said.
*~*
' "An after, four rounds of Jose Cuero," ' a slurred voice sang.
' "Oh tequila, it makes me happy," ' another one was heard singing at the same time.
' "Bring me two Pina Coladas," ' sang a third in unison with the other two.
The stormtroopers doing rounds through the Palace would have exchanged long-suffering looks if they could have. So instead, they pretended to ignore the staggering three-headed six-legged three-voiced creature that stumbled uncertainly past.
'Troopers!' a voice shouted. 'Stop walking and start marching!' The three women stopped and one put her hands on her hips as she roared at them. 'On the double! One-two one-two one-TWO! Lift those feet!!' The troopers heeded the commands with terrified obedience. Within seconds they'd one-two'd out of sight.
'Most impressive,' Mara Jade remarked and burped discretely. 'Where are we?'
'Somewhere inside the palace?' Beth offered, leaning against the wall. Aisling yawned and stretched.
'What time is it?; she sighed.
'Um, big han' at seven an' lil han' at six,' Beth mumbled, squinting at her watch.
'Twenty-five to six?' Mara translated, swaying ever-so-slightly despite her rigid self-control. 'I'm off to bed. Or a shower even,' she amended, remembering her seven a.m. start.
'Coffee,' Aisling groaned, stifling another yawn. Beth was dozing against the wall. 'I'd better get this one home while she's still semi-conscious.'
'You need a hand?'
'No thanks,' Aisling said, hauling Beth back to her feet. 'The Emperor probably will though, ' she muttered with a half-smirk as Mara strolled off. 'Before the day is out.'
Aisling frogmarched Beth to the nearest elevator and keyed in the floor wanted. Then she opened the access panel and rerouted some wires.
'Done?' Beth murmured.
'Done,' Aisling replied, completing the last circuit and replacing the panel. They both glanced to the doors, which opened as the elevator paused. They stepped out quickly as the doors closed again almost on their heels and the elevator continued on to its original destination.
'Sure that wont show on records?' Beth asked, stretching.
'Positive. Now, where'd we put the stuff?'
'Here,' Beth said, retrieving a bag from inside a compartment set in the floor. 'Off we go.'
While they had drunk as much as they had shown they were nowhere near as drunk as they let on. They had plied both Mara and themselves with drink but thanks to a kind of anti-alcohol serum they had 'persuaded' the medics to give them they weren't even tipsy, though they made it look like they were in the same state as Mara Jade herself who in reality was off her face. Which could be why they were both walking soundlessly down the corridor and avoiding sentry droid with ease.
They stopped outside a certain door.
'Ready?' Aisling murmured. Beth nodded, ready. Aisling opened the door and they slipped inside.
They both knew the flats layout well, which was a very good thing since the door closing behind them had shut out the light and plunged the room back into pitch darkness.
Harsh, artificial breathing came from one of the rooms and Beth started giggling out of sheer nervousness. Aisling clamped a hand over her mouth.
'If he catches us,' she told her quietly. 'He'll kill us, properly this time.'
'I can't help it,' Beth hissed. 'I just got an image of him curled up in bed holding his teddy and sucking his thumb. And I cant make it go away!'
There was silence for a moment after this statement, then a noise like a muffled snort.
'Oh you bitch,' Aisling cried, indistinctly since her hands were now clamped over her own mouth in an effort to muffle the noise. 'Now I've got an image.'
'But cant you just see it?' Beth giggled in a low voice. 'All tucked up in beddy-byes with a cute little teddy and his thumb jammed in his mouth.' Both girls nearly choked trying to hold in the howls of laughter that this picture invoked.
'Yeah,' Aisling somehow managed to say. 'A cute little teddy bear with a black visor.' Beth was holding one hand over her nose and mouth trying to stay quiet and the other hand over her aching ribs trying to stop them from bursting. Aisling had both hands over her nose and mouth and was in serious danger of blacking out. 'And, and, and, a nightlight!.' There were twin faint thuds as they fell to the floor, still fighting desperately to keep from giving themselves away.
'Come on now,' Aisling said when it seemed like the worst was over. 'We've got work to do.'
*~*
'Oh, dammetophyte,' Aisling spat venomously. 'I can't believe I forgot about these guys.' They were standing near Palpatines quarters. They had left Vaders apartment about ten minutes before and had nearly run into one of the Imperial Guards. It wasn't until then that Aisling, self-declared know-all of the Star Wars Universe, remembered about the Emperors intensely fanatical, excessively trained and ruthlessly brutal personal bodyguards.
'What can they do?' Beth asked offhandedly. And when Aisling explained, in detail, what these guys can do will do and like doing as often as possible she said, 'Oh.'
'Aisling,' Beth said after a moment, an idea forming in her brain. 'You may want to hold your breath.'
'Huh?' Aisling asked, before she saw Beth stride forward purposely and then it twigged. 'Oh gods Beth, let me put on a gas mask at least!'
When Beth emerged again a couple of minutes later she gave the thumbs-up signal and Aisling followed tentatively. Where there had been Imperial Guards standing guard outside the Emperors chambers, there were now Imperial Guards lying unconscious outside the Emperors chambers. Aisling pulled a face and buried her nose and mouth in the cloth of her jumper.
'Do I want to know what you ate today?' she asked, her voice muffled.
'Nope,' Beth replied airily. 'So are we gonna do this or what?'
Yeah, I know the night out bit is nowhere as good as the last time I had them out, but I tried!
However, I would now like everyone to know something that I've hidden for as long as I could.
Two Lunatics and a Sith Lord is ending.
The next chapter will be it's last.
I'm so very sorry.
All I can say *sigh* is that the end will be memorable.
Please return for the *muffled sob* concluding chapter of "Two Lunatics and Sith Lord"
Thank you.