LEAVING

August 14, 1975

SAKURA:

I stared down at the bag in the middle of the floor. I owned very little, and much of it was not worth taking. Living here, I had no need for appropriate clothing. I wore frayed robes and kimonos stitched in the darkness by untrained fingers. Yoshi had bought me American clothing. I did not know where he got the money, but he had enough of it to buy me several shirts, and a pair of jeans. He'd also bought me a plane ticket.

I stared at the piece of paper with tears in my eyes. It could not have been easy for him to get it for me. Nor could it have been easy for him to hand it to me when he had bought it, knowing that it would take me away from him. I brushed the tears from my eyes and shoved the ticket into the backpack.

My eyes came to rest on a glass figurine in the center of the kitchen table. I studied it for a moment, then approached it. I ran my fingers lightly over the tinted glass. Then I turned away, leaving it there on the table. I had no doubt that Yoshi would be true to his word; he would wait for me to return. And perhaps that trinket might help to ease the pain when he remembered me.

YOSHI:

I felt her presence as she entered the room, but did not turn to her. She stood still for a moment, watching me, before she finally spoke, quietly and meekly. "Yoshi?"

I turned to her. Her own hands had stitched together the kimono she wore over her shoulders. It was just slightly too big for her, and brushed the floor which, by her effort too, had been swept and cleaned. Her hair was pulled back, and up, held tightly behind her head. Dark eyes watched me for my reaction. "Are you angry with me?" she asked quietly.

I considered that for a moment, and sighed. "Iie, Sakura," I whispered, looking away again. "Why would I be angry with you?"

She stepped closer, now assured that she was welcome. "Because I am leaving?"

I smiled reassuringly. "I am not angry, Sakura. I understand."

She knelt beside me. "You have been locked in this room for many hours," she reminded me. "Are you so deep in thought that you cannot eat?"

"I have been meditating."

"Is that what you are doing now?"

"No. I am only thinking now."

"Do you suppose I might intrude into your thoughts for a few moments?"

I smiled. "You are never an intrusion, Sakura-chan," I whispered. "And certainly not when it was you I was thinking of in the first place."

Tears brimmed her eyes and she shook her head slightly. "Oh, I am going to miss you so very much."

"Write to me," I suggested. "To that post office box I provided you with."

She hung her head as a single tear overstepped its boundaries. For a moment, it was silent. Then she looked up. "Why, Yoshi?" she breathed.

"Why?" I questioned, confused.

"Why do you... help me like this?" I didn't answer. "I know that that money was not easy for you to come by. And yet you give it to me as I am walking away from you."

I reached up and placed my hand on the side of her face. "Because I love you, Sakura. And you have a chance to do something great with your life. Who am I to forbid that?"

She exhaled a long, staggered breath, then pulled away, turning her back to me. "I must be at the airport at noon," she informed quietly, brushing the tears from her eyes. I said nothing. She hid her face in her hands. "Why is it that I fear I will not see you again?"

I studied her for a moment, then moved behind her quietly, resting my hands on her shoulders. I leaned into her and kissed her earlobe. "Do not say such things," I whispered against the side of her face. "If you have the will to return, then I have the will to remain here and wait."

A quiet sob escaped her lips, and her chest rose and fell as she breathed deep, trying to control her emotions. I slid my fingers underneath the collar of her kimono and pulled it gently away from her neck, baring her shoulders. I kissed her skin as I ran my hands down her arms. The kimono hissed slightly as it fell to the floor.

I kissed her neck and circled my arms around her waist, carressing her skin gently. "Ai shiteru," I breathed.

She shuddered slightly and leaned into me as I lay back, pulling her with me. I rested her head on my arm and she tucked her head under my chin. Our bodies fit together neatly, and I slipped my arm around her waist, sheltering her.

My thoughts wandered as her tears were spent. I brushed my fingers over her skin lightly, waiting for her to become calm again. She settled, and I kissed her hair. She nuzzled closer to me, saying nothing. "Sakura?" I asked after a moment of silence.

"Nan desu ka?"

"If you wanted something from me, would you ask for it?"

She was silent for a moment. "Something such as...?"

"Anything," I shrugged.

She kissed my neck gently. "Perhaps."

"Perhaps?"

"Hai, perhaps," she repeated.

I pulled closer to her. She turned on her side and slipped her arm around my waist. For a moment, it was quiet. "In a few hours you will be gone," I whispered. She looked up and our eyes met. A reverent silence passed, and she pressed closer to me, brushing her lips over my collarbone. "Is there anything you want, Sakura-chan? Before you leave?"

She was quiet for a moment, unmoving. "Anything?" she finally asked.

Her challenge peaked my interest. "Yes, anything," I vowed. "You have given me a reason to live again, and for that I could never repay you."

She did not answer, and I pulled away to look at her. "What is it you want?"

Her eyes fell, then slowly raised to mine again. "A child." I searched her expression, and instantly knew that she was most serious. "Your child," she specified.

For a moment, I was too surprised to speak. "That would interfere with your schooling," I finally stammered.

She pressed her hand to the side of my face. "It would be difficult," she admitted.

I stared at her. "Then why now? Why not when you return?"

"Yoshi, how can we know what it will be like five years from now?" she asked. "We cannot even guarantee our lives, five years in advance."

I sighed. "Do not speak that way, Sakura."

"I speak only the truth!" she cried. "Neither of us know what will happen while I am away. Life itself is not a guarantee."

Her words stung fiercely. Though it was increasingly difficult to accept with every passing minute, I knew that she was right. Her insight showed wisdom, though it hurt terribly to admit it. She kissed me lightly, and brushed her thumbs over my cheeks in a slow, steady rythm. "Yoshi, I believe I am already carrying your child," she whispered. I studied her dark eyes carefully, and knew that she was serious. "And I want you to know that it is my wish to do so."

I stared at her, awestricken by her words. "I am... most honored," I finally managed.

She smiled. "Yoshi..." Her hand slipped around to the back of my neck, and her thumbs rubbed lightly back and forth. Our lips came together, and we kissed deeply. The words echoed in my mind as her fingers carressed my skin lightly, and I pulled her closer to me.