CHILDREN
February, 1979
SPLINTER:
I was nearly asleep when I felt the tiny hand on my knee. He patted a few times, trying to get my attention. "Yo-ma-su?" he tried, still patting my leg. "Sei-sei, yo-ma-su? Yo-ma-su?"
I opened one eye and looked at him. He smiled and held up a book. "Yo-ma-su, Sei-sei?"
"Yomimasu," I corrected.
He waved the book at me, undeterred. "Yo-ma-su?"
I took the book from his hand and pulled him easily into my lap. It was not long before two of his brothers joined us. Only Raphael was missing, and he did not come when I called for him. I set the children aside, assuring them that I would be back in a moment, and walked to his room.
He was not there, and he was not in the kitchen. Sighing, I walked down the hallway and into the large room that I had cleared. Sure enough, he was near the far wall where he did not belong. Anger stirred inside of me, but I paused and watched him for a moment. I had told him time and time again that the dojo was not a place to play. Time and time again, I found him here, looking over the weapons he dared not touch. At least he had some sense, since no amount of punishment seemed to curb his instinct to misbehave.
"Raphael!"
He spun so fast he nearly fell over backward. His wide eyes quickly fell. "Sorry."
It was not an apology, as it might have sounded. It was said in far too much haste to have been considered fully. "What have I told you about being in here?" I demanded.
"Sorry," he repeated again.
I sighed. Ordinarily, I would have tried to point out that he could not be sorry until he was repentant. And he could not be repentant so long as he kept doing it. But I did not have the patience, at present, to argue with the two-year-old. "Go," I ordered. "Go to your room and do not come out until I say."
He ran from the room, brushing against the weapons rack as he left. A set of nunchakus teetered and fell to the mat. I watched Raphael retreat to his room before I walked to the fallen weapons and picked them up off the floor. They seemed to burn in my hands as I stared at them. I had several sets, but these were my favorite. They had not been used in many months.
It was no fault but my own, and perhaps even then, it was not a fault. It was a decision I had made, allowing that life and the person I was, to die. But it was no easier to let go of all that I had been than it was to relinquish the weapons now in my hands.
MICHAELANGELO:
Sensei was gone for a long time. Donny waited with the book, but I got bored. Leo went back to the puzzle he had taken apart on the living room floor, but I didn't like puzzles. Especially not hard ones. I thought about asking Raph to play with me, but he was in trouble and I didn't want to get in trouble too.
After a long time of wondering what to do, I finally walked down the hallway. We weren't allowed down here without Sensei, and even then he hardly ever took us. But he was down here now, so I figured it would be okay.
I stopped in the doorway to the big room and watched him. He was swinging a stick around. No, it was two sticks, and they were tied together. I stopped before I said anything, and just watched him. He was fast. It almost looked like he was dancing. I'd never seen him move like that.
Suddenly, he stopped. He turned and looked straight at me. I jumped, surprised. Was he mad that I'd come into the room without being invited? I hung my head and waited for him to give me a clue. He didn't say anything. I stole a glance up and saw him place the sticks on the weapons rack, then he turned and walked over to me. He held out his hand and I took it. He wasn't smiling, but he didn't look mad.
"Come on," he sighed. "Let us read the book."