Disclaimer: Ok,this story idea popped into my head when I heard a song play on Scrubs. To prevent a lawsuit, I hereby make no claim to the CSI characters, but Jaci the detective is all mine, for better or worse. Hope you all get a laugh out of this, read and review!!
Jaci sat on a stool in the DNA lab. Elbows propped up on the table, holding her chin in her hands, fingers tapping the sides of her head. She was waiting on some very important results to come through. Sure, she could wait elsewhere, but Greg was fun to be around sometimes. He had a great sense of humor, which some people definitely lacked these days. Greg was filling out some paper work when Jaci mentioned it was way too quiet in the lab. He looked toward his cd player and raised his eyebrows as if to ask for permission.
"Grissom will be yelling at us if he hears it....." Greg warned.
"Do it. Just don't max out the volume. Please, or else I'm going to fall asleep!" Jaci countered.
Greg turned on the radio and handed Jaci the remote. "You can pick the station, I need to finish these reports."
"Cool." Jaci began flipping stations; singing along quietly with whatever song was playing. She would sing a couple of lines and then flip.
Greg cocked his head and watched her. "How do you know all those songs?"
"I'm a bit of a music junkie. The radio is never off in my car. I've got no musical talent, but I do know the words to just about any song out there. Especially the lyrics of songs I don't like, oddly." Jaci shrugged as she continued flipping stations.
"Oh yeah?" He paused as an old rock song began to play. "Name that tune!"
She listened for a just a few seconds. "Easy. Bob Seager-Come to Papa."
Greg stopped his paperwork and grabbed the remote from her. "Ok, what about this one?!" He flipped to a modern rock station. The song played and again in a few seconds Jaci spit out the answer. "Ok, one more time...." A familiar bass line began to play. Dada- da- dada-dadum, Dada- da- dada-dadum. Greg looked at Jaci. "Be careful with this one....."
Jaci waved him off with her hand. "Oh please. I am not that stupid. That's NOT Ice Ice Baby. It's Pressure by David Bowie. Actually, it's David Bowie and Queen. Great song, I'll let this play out."
After the song finished, Greg flipped a few more times, quizzing Jaci. Then he suddenly stopped and began grinning.
"I bet I know how to stump you. It is easy to remember lyrics when the song is playing at the time. But can you just spit out lyrics at random??" Greg was squinting his eyes mischievously at the detective.
Jaci shrugged, "I dunno. Depends on the song. I guess."
"What about Ice Ice Baby? That bass line made me think of it. Do you know that one?" Greg began rubbing his hands together.
"Are you challenging me? Cause that sounded kinda like a challenge." Jaci replied.
"Yeah, it is a challenge. I bet you can't do it! I can, but I bet you can't." Greg threw back.
Jaci rolled her eyes and spent a moment looking Greg over. "Ok, what do I get when I win?"
"Ha-ha. When! You mean IF! Mmm, how bout I take you to the circus when it rolls into town next week?"
She thought it over for a second, "Yeah, ok. I haven't been to one of those in years. Hey, will they let you out of the freak show long enough to show me around??" She grinned.
"Again, ha ha. So what do I win?? Dinner and a movie maybe?" He asked.
"Uh, no. If you beat me, you win......... self-respect AND you get to keep your dignity! Good deal, huh?" She raised her eyebrows and smiled.
"Not exactly. But whatever. Ok, I will start the lyrics and then you take over when I point to you. Got it?"
"Yeah, I got it. Not exactly rocket science, big guy." She answered.
Greg flung his hands several times and rolled his shoulders. Jaci frowned. "My Lord! Are you channeling Vanilla Ice?? Just sing already!" Greg cleared his throat and began rapping the lyrics with much enthusiasm.
"All right stop, collaborate and listen.
Ice is back with my brand new invention
Something grabs a hold of me tightly
Then I flow that a harpoon daily and nightly
Will it ever stop?
Yo--I don't know
Turn off the lights and I'll glow
To the extreme I rock a mic like a vandal
Light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle." He stopped and pointed to Jaci.
Again, she rolled her eyes. She began saying the lyrics in a deadpan voice. But Greg quickly shook his head and cut her off, "Naaa! You have to rap it. Say it like you mean it, girl!"
"Oh jeez." Jaci looked over her should toward the door to make sure no one was watching them. "Alright, alright." As she rapped the words, she waved her hands around just like the boys on MTV. Greg was quite impressed with her skills.
"Dance.
Bum rush the speaker that booms
I'm killin your brain like a poisonous mushroom
Deadly, when I play a dope melody
Anything less that the best is a felony
Love it or leave it
You better gain way
You better hit bull's eye
The kid dont play
If there was a problem
Yo, I'll solve it
Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it" She pumped her fist toward Greg. He began right where she left off.
"Ice Ice Baby. Vanilla. Ice Ice Baby. Vanilla Ice Ice Baby.
Now that the party is jumping
With the bass kicked in, the Vegas are pumpin'
Quick to the point, to the point no faking
I'm cooking MC's like a pound of bacon
Burning them if they're not quick and nimble
I go crazy when I hear a cymbal
And a hi hat with a souped up tempo
I'm on a roll and it's time to go solo
Rollin in my 5.0
With my ragtop down so my hair can blow
The girlies on standby
Waving just to say HI
Did you stop?
No--I just drove by
Kept on pursuing to the next stop
I busted a left and I'm heading to the next block
That block was dead "
Greg pointed both fingers at Jaci. He had moved to stand beside her instead of staying across the table. Neither one saw that Grissom had walked up to the lab and was standing at the doorway. At first, Grissom only saw and heard Greg walking around the lab singing to himself. He started to just walk on by, after all Greg talking to himself was not unusual. However, he stopped dead in his tracks when he heard a female voice join the songfest. He was even more stunned when he saw who the voice was coming from....Jaci. He decided to watch the show for a minute.
Jaci didn't miss a beat, only this during this verse, she was more animated, rocking her shoulders side to side and bobbing her head. Greg was laughing at her, actually not at her, more like with her.
"Yo--so I continued to A1A Beachfront Ave.
Girls were hot wearing less than bikinis
Rockman lovers driving Lamborghinis
Jealous 'cause I'm out getting mine
Shay with a guage and Vanilla with a nine
Reading for the chumps on the wall
The Chumps are acting ill because they're so full of eight balls
Gunshots ranged out like a bell
I grabbed my nine-"
Grissom watched her sing with amusement. He knew about her fascination with music. He had been on a little road trip with her in the past. Her station flipping had nearly drove him insane. Grissom began wondering what had caused this outburst and with Greg of all people. But she was always joking around with Greg, those two seemed to share several in side jokes.
The duo traded a few more lines of the song. Suddenly, during what Grissom guessed to be a new verse, Greg suddenly stopped. He developed a look of deep concentration on his face. He began muttering to himself and hitting his head with his palm.
Jaci jumped up and began taunting the lab tech. "Ahhh??? Are ya stumped? You give up, uh uh uh uh?"
"No!!! I do not give up!! Just give me a second, will ya?" he replied in an annoyed voice.
"I'll do better than that! I'll give you three seconds!" She began counting slowly.
Grissom finally understood what was going on- some kind of contest. Apparently Greg was about to lose. Greg threw up his hands, "Damn it! Ok, you have to finish the verse to win though."
"No problem, LOSER." She replied smugly and started rapping again:
"Other DJ's say, "Damn"
If my rhyme was a drug
I'd sell it by the gram
Keep my composure when it's time to get loose
Magnetized by the mic while I kick my juice......"
Grissom chose this moment to embarrass to two aspiring rappers, "What the hell are you two doing?!" he yelled. He tried not to laugh when the two jumped and turned around in shock to find that they had an audience.
"Shit!" Jaci exclaimed. Her face went red with embarrassment. Inside her mind was spinning. It just had to be HIM! Anyone in the world could have seen them- Nick, Cath, Warrick. But nooooo! Why Grissom?!
"You two are still on the clock, right? Isn't there work to be done?" Grissom asked. He was leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed. He didn't look happy. But Jaci knew things were ok because oddly there was no anger in his voice.
"I was just stripping Greg here of his dignity. No big deal." Jaci answered with a smile. She stood up to leave, "I'm finished now though."
"Well, I hope that's all you were stripping off Greg. Besides, Brass just paged me. You have a homicide to check out." Grissom added, trying to sound annoyed.
Jaci just smirked at Grissom, "Ha ha." She turned her attention back to Greg. "So, I will be seeing you at the thing next week then?"
Greg shook his head, "Huh-uh. You didn't finish the verse. You haven't won yet." He crossed his arms.
Jaci looked at Grissom and back to Greg a couple of times. She wanted to win but wasn't about to rap in front of Grissom again. Decisions, decisions.
Grissom was headed toward the door, "Come on, Jaci....."
Jaci leaned toward Greg and began whispering, "If there was a problem, Yo--I'll solve it! Check out the hook while Deshay revolves it. There you LOSE." She hissed. She glanced at the door to find Grissom smiling and rolling his eyes.
"Damn!" Greg snapped his fingers.
Jaci joined Grissom at the door, "Oh and Greg??"
The lab tech responded in a defeated voice, "Yeah?"
"Word to your mother!" Jaci busted out laughing and headed down the hall.
Greg laughed too and yelled, "I love you. Marry me!"at the empty doorway.
Walking side by side, Grissom asked, "So, what did you win?"
Jaci just responded slyly, "Wouldn't you like to know?"
"You're not going to tell me?" Grissom asked in a mock pleading tone.
"Nope. That's your punishment for scaring the heck outta me!" Jaci answered and began calling Brass on her cell phone.
~~~~Fin
Jaci sat on a stool in the DNA lab. Elbows propped up on the table, holding her chin in her hands, fingers tapping the sides of her head. She was waiting on some very important results to come through. Sure, she could wait elsewhere, but Greg was fun to be around sometimes. He had a great sense of humor, which some people definitely lacked these days. Greg was filling out some paper work when Jaci mentioned it was way too quiet in the lab. He looked toward his cd player and raised his eyebrows as if to ask for permission.
"Grissom will be yelling at us if he hears it....." Greg warned.
"Do it. Just don't max out the volume. Please, or else I'm going to fall asleep!" Jaci countered.
Greg turned on the radio and handed Jaci the remote. "You can pick the station, I need to finish these reports."
"Cool." Jaci began flipping stations; singing along quietly with whatever song was playing. She would sing a couple of lines and then flip.
Greg cocked his head and watched her. "How do you know all those songs?"
"I'm a bit of a music junkie. The radio is never off in my car. I've got no musical talent, but I do know the words to just about any song out there. Especially the lyrics of songs I don't like, oddly." Jaci shrugged as she continued flipping stations.
"Oh yeah?" He paused as an old rock song began to play. "Name that tune!"
She listened for a just a few seconds. "Easy. Bob Seager-Come to Papa."
Greg stopped his paperwork and grabbed the remote from her. "Ok, what about this one?!" He flipped to a modern rock station. The song played and again in a few seconds Jaci spit out the answer. "Ok, one more time...." A familiar bass line began to play. Dada- da- dada-dadum, Dada- da- dada-dadum. Greg looked at Jaci. "Be careful with this one....."
Jaci waved him off with her hand. "Oh please. I am not that stupid. That's NOT Ice Ice Baby. It's Pressure by David Bowie. Actually, it's David Bowie and Queen. Great song, I'll let this play out."
After the song finished, Greg flipped a few more times, quizzing Jaci. Then he suddenly stopped and began grinning.
"I bet I know how to stump you. It is easy to remember lyrics when the song is playing at the time. But can you just spit out lyrics at random??" Greg was squinting his eyes mischievously at the detective.
Jaci shrugged, "I dunno. Depends on the song. I guess."
"What about Ice Ice Baby? That bass line made me think of it. Do you know that one?" Greg began rubbing his hands together.
"Are you challenging me? Cause that sounded kinda like a challenge." Jaci replied.
"Yeah, it is a challenge. I bet you can't do it! I can, but I bet you can't." Greg threw back.
Jaci rolled her eyes and spent a moment looking Greg over. "Ok, what do I get when I win?"
"Ha-ha. When! You mean IF! Mmm, how bout I take you to the circus when it rolls into town next week?"
She thought it over for a second, "Yeah, ok. I haven't been to one of those in years. Hey, will they let you out of the freak show long enough to show me around??" She grinned.
"Again, ha ha. So what do I win?? Dinner and a movie maybe?" He asked.
"Uh, no. If you beat me, you win......... self-respect AND you get to keep your dignity! Good deal, huh?" She raised her eyebrows and smiled.
"Not exactly. But whatever. Ok, I will start the lyrics and then you take over when I point to you. Got it?"
"Yeah, I got it. Not exactly rocket science, big guy." She answered.
Greg flung his hands several times and rolled his shoulders. Jaci frowned. "My Lord! Are you channeling Vanilla Ice?? Just sing already!" Greg cleared his throat and began rapping the lyrics with much enthusiasm.
"All right stop, collaborate and listen.
Ice is back with my brand new invention
Something grabs a hold of me tightly
Then I flow that a harpoon daily and nightly
Will it ever stop?
Yo--I don't know
Turn off the lights and I'll glow
To the extreme I rock a mic like a vandal
Light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle." He stopped and pointed to Jaci.
Again, she rolled her eyes. She began saying the lyrics in a deadpan voice. But Greg quickly shook his head and cut her off, "Naaa! You have to rap it. Say it like you mean it, girl!"
"Oh jeez." Jaci looked over her should toward the door to make sure no one was watching them. "Alright, alright." As she rapped the words, she waved her hands around just like the boys on MTV. Greg was quite impressed with her skills.
"Dance.
Bum rush the speaker that booms
I'm killin your brain like a poisonous mushroom
Deadly, when I play a dope melody
Anything less that the best is a felony
Love it or leave it
You better gain way
You better hit bull's eye
The kid dont play
If there was a problem
Yo, I'll solve it
Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it" She pumped her fist toward Greg. He began right where she left off.
"Ice Ice Baby. Vanilla. Ice Ice Baby. Vanilla Ice Ice Baby.
Now that the party is jumping
With the bass kicked in, the Vegas are pumpin'
Quick to the point, to the point no faking
I'm cooking MC's like a pound of bacon
Burning them if they're not quick and nimble
I go crazy when I hear a cymbal
And a hi hat with a souped up tempo
I'm on a roll and it's time to go solo
Rollin in my 5.0
With my ragtop down so my hair can blow
The girlies on standby
Waving just to say HI
Did you stop?
No--I just drove by
Kept on pursuing to the next stop
I busted a left and I'm heading to the next block
That block was dead "
Greg pointed both fingers at Jaci. He had moved to stand beside her instead of staying across the table. Neither one saw that Grissom had walked up to the lab and was standing at the doorway. At first, Grissom only saw and heard Greg walking around the lab singing to himself. He started to just walk on by, after all Greg talking to himself was not unusual. However, he stopped dead in his tracks when he heard a female voice join the songfest. He was even more stunned when he saw who the voice was coming from....Jaci. He decided to watch the show for a minute.
Jaci didn't miss a beat, only this during this verse, she was more animated, rocking her shoulders side to side and bobbing her head. Greg was laughing at her, actually not at her, more like with her.
"Yo--so I continued to A1A Beachfront Ave.
Girls were hot wearing less than bikinis
Rockman lovers driving Lamborghinis
Jealous 'cause I'm out getting mine
Shay with a guage and Vanilla with a nine
Reading for the chumps on the wall
The Chumps are acting ill because they're so full of eight balls
Gunshots ranged out like a bell
I grabbed my nine-"
Grissom watched her sing with amusement. He knew about her fascination with music. He had been on a little road trip with her in the past. Her station flipping had nearly drove him insane. Grissom began wondering what had caused this outburst and with Greg of all people. But she was always joking around with Greg, those two seemed to share several in side jokes.
The duo traded a few more lines of the song. Suddenly, during what Grissom guessed to be a new verse, Greg suddenly stopped. He developed a look of deep concentration on his face. He began muttering to himself and hitting his head with his palm.
Jaci jumped up and began taunting the lab tech. "Ahhh??? Are ya stumped? You give up, uh uh uh uh?"
"No!!! I do not give up!! Just give me a second, will ya?" he replied in an annoyed voice.
"I'll do better than that! I'll give you three seconds!" She began counting slowly.
Grissom finally understood what was going on- some kind of contest. Apparently Greg was about to lose. Greg threw up his hands, "Damn it! Ok, you have to finish the verse to win though."
"No problem, LOSER." She replied smugly and started rapping again:
"Other DJ's say, "Damn"
If my rhyme was a drug
I'd sell it by the gram
Keep my composure when it's time to get loose
Magnetized by the mic while I kick my juice......"
Grissom chose this moment to embarrass to two aspiring rappers, "What the hell are you two doing?!" he yelled. He tried not to laugh when the two jumped and turned around in shock to find that they had an audience.
"Shit!" Jaci exclaimed. Her face went red with embarrassment. Inside her mind was spinning. It just had to be HIM! Anyone in the world could have seen them- Nick, Cath, Warrick. But nooooo! Why Grissom?!
"You two are still on the clock, right? Isn't there work to be done?" Grissom asked. He was leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed. He didn't look happy. But Jaci knew things were ok because oddly there was no anger in his voice.
"I was just stripping Greg here of his dignity. No big deal." Jaci answered with a smile. She stood up to leave, "I'm finished now though."
"Well, I hope that's all you were stripping off Greg. Besides, Brass just paged me. You have a homicide to check out." Grissom added, trying to sound annoyed.
Jaci just smirked at Grissom, "Ha ha." She turned her attention back to Greg. "So, I will be seeing you at the thing next week then?"
Greg shook his head, "Huh-uh. You didn't finish the verse. You haven't won yet." He crossed his arms.
Jaci looked at Grissom and back to Greg a couple of times. She wanted to win but wasn't about to rap in front of Grissom again. Decisions, decisions.
Grissom was headed toward the door, "Come on, Jaci....."
Jaci leaned toward Greg and began whispering, "If there was a problem, Yo--I'll solve it! Check out the hook while Deshay revolves it. There you LOSE." She hissed. She glanced at the door to find Grissom smiling and rolling his eyes.
"Damn!" Greg snapped his fingers.
Jaci joined Grissom at the door, "Oh and Greg??"
The lab tech responded in a defeated voice, "Yeah?"
"Word to your mother!" Jaci busted out laughing and headed down the hall.
Greg laughed too and yelled, "I love you. Marry me!"at the empty doorway.
Walking side by side, Grissom asked, "So, what did you win?"
Jaci just responded slyly, "Wouldn't you like to know?"
"You're not going to tell me?" Grissom asked in a mock pleading tone.
"Nope. That's your punishment for scaring the heck outta me!" Jaci answered and began calling Brass on her cell phone.
~~~~Fin