Malcolm had never been in love before. At least, if he had then he was too busy at the time to realise it. But he knew that this was love; whenever he saw them he got a cold shiver down his spine, his brain turned to soup and thoughts he shouldn't be thinking rushed into his head at ramming speed. He thought that it was just a passing crush, that all he was feeling was a desperate lust for something physical after being trapped on a starship for six months. But this was a deep, yearning desire, something much more deeper than infatuation or curiosity. Malcolm would have been quite happy to stare at them for hours, if he could do so without anybody noticing. He felt like he lost control of his limbs whenever he saw them, and swore that if he didn't sit on his hands or cling firmly to a rail that he wouldn't be able to stop himself from pouncing on them right there and then. This was love: the intense, deep, passionate, everlasting kind that he had dreaded ever happening to him. Everything seemed to lead back to them, each action subconsciously worked out so that it could have as much to do with them as possible. Everything reminded him of them, to the point of ridiculousness when he saw their face in his mashed potatoes. Suddenly everybody was a threat, competing for their attention and trying to steal them away from him. But for Malcolm, to just look into their eyes for a fleeting second, where he could be completely lost in their eternal depths and feel like the only person in the universe, would make all this desperation worth it. One second of private contentment, unnoticed by his oblivious lover, was all Malcolm needed to give meaning and purpose to the hopelessness of his situation.

The problem was, the object of Malcolm's desire was his best friend.

~*~

    'Hey, Trip!'

Malcolm sprinted down the corridor until he was walking by the side of the Chief Engineer, smiling eagerly with a hidden agenda.

'Hey Malcolm, how you doing?' Trip smiled back and shoved his hands in his pockets habitually.

'Very well, thank you. Do you want to go get a drink? Give us a chance to celebrate our first day's leave in weeks.' Malcolm watched in delight as Trip's face relaxed under the realisation of this piece of news.

'Man, I'd almost forgot about that, Archer's been piling it on real bad this week.' Trip looked at Malcolm and nodded furiously. 'You know what, that's a great idea. Shall I meet you in the mess hall in half an hour? I wanna change outa these, I got lubricator all over the sleeve.'

'Okay then, half an hour.' Malcolm waved as Trip smiled his goodbye and stepped into his quarters.

Malcolm sat down at a table next to a window in the mess hall and cupped his tea with both hands, watching the stars as Enterprise slowed down to impulse and made the constellations decelerate with her. He was dressed in a casual deep blue shirt and a pair of loose black trousers and felt as relaxed as he could, considering the company he was waiting for. He heard the whir of the doors opening and his head snapped around expectantly, but he decided this was a little too obvious, so chose quickly to stare philosophically at his drink instead.

'Hey there.' The familiar thick accent made Malcolm melt as soon as he registered the voice. 'Uh, hello.' He had planned to say something sexier, like 'hey there' or 'Trip, you look good', but the sight of him in tight jeans left Malcolm's brain temporarily detained on other thoughts.

'Is that all you're drinking?' Trip laughed as he saw the tea hidden between Malcolm's light palms. 'Not much of a celebration.'

'Ah-' he started.

'I'll get you a proper drink. Stay there.'

Malcolm watched in silent satisfaction as Trip glided over the floor to the drink dispenser.

Now that… that is an ass to die for.

'There you go. A man's drink.'

A heavily sun-kissed hand placed a Guinness before him, and the offending item he started off with was swiftly removed.

'Alcohol?' Malcolm looked up and was greeted by a warm smile from Trip.

'A man's drink.' He repeated.

'A bloody expensive man's drink,' Malcolm spluttered, 'How many alcohol rations are you planning to use up tonight?'

'Ah,' Trip shrugged dismissively, 'You're worth it.' Malcolm could feel his cheeks heat up, and prayed desperately that it didn't show. 'Besides, you're getting in the next round.'

'Okay then.' He smirked.

Trip's eyes wandered across the humming room to a secluded table in a corner. Malcolm followed his gaze and smiled lightly.

'What a great couple.' Trip sighed.

'Yeah, Mayweather is so much happier nowadays, he's totally infatuated with her.' Malcolm looked over at his companion, not finding it difficult to imagine how Travis felt. He seriously considered pulling Trip into a passionate kiss that very moment, but clasped his wandering hands together tightly as common sense returned to him.

'Malcolm?'

'Huh?' he snapped back into reality looking sheepish.

'I said, how come you're not hitched up with anyone around here? I would've thought the girls are falling down at those sexy English feet of yours.'

'…Girls?' Malcolm said carefully.

'Oh, I forgot. Those laser cannons are your first love…' Trip chuckled throatily at his joke and swivelled round in his chair so that he was facing the table again. He smiled and waited for a response, while Malcolm thought desperately for a witty answer that said 'actually, I'm gay' without making Trip run off to catch the first starship back to Earth.

'… Actually, I'm gay.' Congratulations, Malcolm thought, you are now officially the biggest pillock in the Universe. Well done.

'Oh.' Malcolm could imagine Trip's face at this point, so didn't need to see it for real. He stared down at his drink and waited for the familiar apology and hasty exit from him. 'You still haven't answered the question yet.' Malcolm looked up. 'Well?' Trip raised his eyebrows expectantly.

'I, just… haven't found the right person yet.' Malcolm shrugged. It felt great being able to talk about his sexuality to somebody other than his personal log.

'So who's this right person?' Trip seemed very interested in the subject, his eyes focused intensely and his hands gripped firmly. Malcolm chose not to read anything into it though, or he knew it would come back to haunt him later.

'Well, they'd have to be able to tell the difference between a phase pistol and a pulse rifle for a start.' Trip laughed and flashed his perfect white teeth to Malcolm in a way that made his mouth go dry. He gulped and tried to keep his mind on topic. 'Other than that, I suppose I'd like a sense of humour, somebody I could talk to, and uh, sense of adventure. You know, all of the standard stuff.' Trip nodded and licked his lips. Malcolm noticed all these little things whenever he was around him, every blink and twitch, like he was zoomed in on his face. 'Anyway, I could ask you the same thing. Now you're not with that Natalie, you could take your pick of any girl on the ship.'

'… Girl?' Trip smiled.

'Ah.' Malcolm would have jumped up from his chair, screamed at the top of his lungs 'THANKYOU!' and hugged the nearest passer by if Trip wasn't sitting in front of him. Instead he settled for a restrained smile and curled up his toes in delight. 'You still haven't answered the question yet.'

'I wasn't sure at first, you know? I 'd had a few boyfriends, but none of them felt, right, I guess. I went out with Natalie 'cos I wanted to make sure. It was a stupid and awful thing to do, but I had to. I thought I loved her at one point- but I when I signed up for Enterprise and didn't even think about her for a second, I knew I didn't. I just haven't found the right guy yet.' He stared hard at Malcolm and parted his lips slightly.

'Well,' he gulped down the last dredges of his drinks and smiled brightly at Trip. 'We've learnt a lot tonight.'

'Heh.' Trip pushed his empty glass to the centre of the table and rubbed his collarbone. Malcolm didn't realise, but he did the exact same thing and sat his glass right next to Trip's with a clink.

'Shall I get in the next round?' Malcolm said and pushed back his chair, ready to stand up.

Trip checked his watch and grunted. 'I gotta go see the captain in ten. I should go now so I can change back into uniform.'

'Oh.' Malcolm tried not to look too disappointed.

'That sucks.' Trip stood up and walked round the table so he was standing next to Malcolm, who was picking up their glasses. 'How about we meet up again tomorrow? I don't wanna spend my day off all alone.'

Malcolm could have sworn that Trip winked at him while he said that. Must be my mind playing very inappropriate tricks on me, he thought with a mental frown. 'Of course not. What do you have planned?'

'Well the punch bag has been giving me some dirty looks recently, I thought I'd go teach it a lesson.' He grinned.

'Sounds great. Shall I see you before lunch?' they started walking over to the door and paused as they waited for a large group of crewmen to pass.

'Yeah, I'll pick you up at eleven.'

'Right then.' …Pick me up? Malcolm's mind was screaming DATE! DATE! DATE! at him with surprising volume.

'Okay. See ya, Malcolm.'

'Yeah, bye.' He said in a way he thought was enthusiastic, yet cool enough to not care particularly. It was a difficult balance to master.

Trip smiled broadly and walked out. Malcolm bit his lip in an attempt to stop himself from grinning like a hyena to little success.

Better start getting ready now, Malcolm.

'Shut up.' His mind was quite literally, and extremely confusingly, developing a mind of it's own.

~*~

(If I've mucked up the technical stuff can you please tell me in a review? I'm a pants speller!)

R&R please!!!!!