...Where Nothing is Luminous

I thought we were just hanging out
So why'd you kiss me on the mouth
You thought the way you taste
Would get me high...
I Don't Give A Damn' by Avril Lavigne

Buffy walked into the Library the next day, vaguely wondering if it was really yesterday that she'd found out about Miss Calendar. It wasn't just the amnesia of tragedy, but so much had happened in between. The crypt... And then home to find mom sitting on her bed. She'd be grounded until Graduation. It wasn't as if the I'm out protecting the world from Vampire's' excuse would actually impress her mother, but she couldn't even have given that spiel anyway. She hadn't staked one Vampire, sure she'd kissed one, but no staking motions at all. Gutter mind.

Three tired pairs of eyes met hers as she entered the room. She wondered whether Xander, Willow and Cordelia had gone home that night, or to any of their classes that morning. It made her feel guilty, like she should have been doing more or sitting with them and staring into space, rather than ready to moan about being grounded. Buffy had had the anger and the tears and pain alone, mostly, and as the Slayer they were things should couldn't show in front of the others. Less and more than human. Ugh.

Hey Buffy...

Buffy raised a hand to Willow in a slight wave before settling down in a free chair and glancing around the group.

So, is he dead?

Is he?

...No more dead than usual..

Xander shook his head and shot both Willow and Cordelia an I told you so' look before leaning back in his chair and staring off into space angrily.

Uh, Buffy, I know this is probably hard for you... But I agree with Xander... Angelus needs to, uh, be staked.

Willow chewed on her lower lip nervously as she waited for Buffy's reaction. The blonde sighed.

I know Will.. Xander rolled his eyes but Buffy continued diligently, But I just want to make sure that in the process no-one else gets.. hurt.

Yeah. Buffy. That makes sense and all, except for the fact that you could take him out by yourself and then no-one else would have to be any more involved. You are the Slayer.

Buffy fixed her gaze on Cordelia, wondering whether to be flattered by the vote of confidence or annoyed by her siding with Xander. Instead she chose the neutral.

...Has anyone seen Giles?

Nope. Strange how when your girlfriend gets murdered you just don't feel like turning up for work...

Xander, can we just, drop it, or punch it out... or something. You're acting like this is all my fault.

Well, technically, you boned Angel, which made him evil and murderous... So...

Buffy glared at Cordelia and for once the brunette took the signal to shut up. She then turned pleading eyes onto Xander.

Look. Buff. I don't blame you. I just... don't understand why you're doing the things you're doing... I mean, have you even got a plan to kill Angelus?

***

Spike was being paranoid. He knew that but he just couldn't stop it. He'd been too quick to agree to the Slayer's request, forgetting about his fight with Angelus and how that Vampire probably hated him now. More. On top of that he still expected the Slayer to leap out and tell him it was all a lie before inserting something wooden in his chest.

So Spike was walking around the mansion cautiously, his eyes darting around for any possible attackers. Yeah, he was being paranoid. But it had paid off on the way out of the cemetery when a couple of fledglings had jumped him. Though that had been fun. Fighting Angelus wouldn't be, except for the violence part.

His loeil du maitre was kinda useless though as everywhere he went he dragged a large brown blanket over his head to protect himself from the sun. Even then he could feel the top of his head slowly sizzling. It wasn't painful yet, but it could get that way. So throwing caution to the wind, metaphorically, he kicked open the first door to the mansion he could get to and rushed inside.

He whipped the blanket off his back, partly because it was on fire and partly because he was expecting to get attacked at any moment. The room around him was empty. And so were the masses of passageways connecting to it. He didn't even need to look, he could feel the lack of Vampire presence. And more importantly he could tell where they actually were.

The two older Vampire's were residing in a room to the centre of the mansion. It was a burden and a blessing being able to know where they were the whole time. He decided that the front on approach was best and so began walking the familiar passages to reach Angelus and Drusilla.

When he neared the room he should have known that was where they would be. The long faux-dining room was the only place that Angelus and Dru seemed to frequent in the whole bloody place, except for the garden and... bedroom. As he had sensed where they were, they had undoubtedly sensed him coming, and so when he walked into the room he was fully prepared for an attack.

Angelus was slumped in a chair, his demeanour bored as he turned a small framed picture on its side. Drusilla was lying on the long wooden table in a familiar position, staring up at the ceiling. Slumped against the far wall was the body of a woman, obviously dead, her glassy eyes staring at nothing in particular.

Spike stepped forward but neither Vampire spared him a glance. Angelus continued to stare at the picture he was holding until he let out a growl and flung it to the floor. The glass cracked.

he remarked offhandedly, only then did his eyes dart up to Spike, You like that, don't you?

Bit unsanitary don't you think mate.. Spike said, indicating the dead body who now looked a little familiar.

Angelus turned his head for a second then shrugged,

What's another dead body among friends?

We're friends then are we?

Of course. Spike. Friends forgive each other. He said every word with an inset smirk and raised eyebrow.

What're you playing at? Been drinking the A Pos. again, cause you know that doesn't agree with you...

Funny, Spike. Always so funny. His eyes became serious, But I'm not joking when I say that fight with me again and you will find yourself being tortured until the end of eternity and out of the other side.

Uh, yeah, mate, about that...

Angelus stood up gracefully and stalked over to Spike. He was always good at that little manoeuvre. Ponce. Angelus brought back his hands, slapping Spike once across one cheek and then punching the other. Spike backed away, or reeled, whichever was more manly.

Angelus nodded and advanced on Spike again, this time only to drape an arm around his shoulder and lead him back into their little clique. Drusilla squirmed on the table and sat up, a smile gracing her face.

Spike began to believe that perhaps he could, really, get back into their gang'. He didn't need the Slayer. Things were simpler when it was hunt and kill, no making deals with enemies. As he was guided forward by Angelus he glanced idly at the smashed picture on the floor and his stomach did phantom-turns. Framed in gold, the glass shattered around her face, was a picture of Buffy Summers.

Damn.

***

Buffy! You're not serious...

Willow drew Buffy into an alcove in the crowded hallway, her face was filled with panic. Panic that had steadily grown as Buffy had explained her plan so far. Strangely enough Xander and Cordelia had accepted it, but that might have been because they were just glad Buffy was taking some action.

Spike?! Spying on Angelus and Drusilla and reporting back to you? She stressed every other word, making her sentence sound like line from a badly acted soap opera.

Yes. Will.

You can't trust him!

I know Will, but--

Nu uh! Buffy, he's a Vampire. He tried to kill you!

I remember Willow. And can you stop talking like that?

Is this because you kissed him?

Is this because you kissed him? I mean... Not everyone you kiss is good Buffy...

I never said he was g--

...And even the ones who are good can turn evil. You're not in love with him are you?!

WHAT? No! No, no, no and no. Willow, I know this is freaking you out. But there is nothing between me and Spike--

Spike and I.

Spike and I except for hatred, and now this deal. The only reason I know I can... uh... rely on him is because he seems to hate Angelus even more than he hates me...

Oh. But Buffy...

... You're sure there really is nothing between you and Spike, right?

Uh, Willow, way to make me feel sick right before Math. Or maybe that is the Math.

Willow smiled brightly began to walk slowly with Buffy towards their lesson. At least for now she didn't care that they were late. Or that Oz hadn't shown up to school that day. She was just happy to be laughing with her best friend.

Buffy listened to Willow as she talked animatedly about some past summer adventure, and smiled at the appropriate points. It was nice just to talk about memories and things that weren't earth shattering. Be distracted. That sort of thing. But as they neared the classroom door she felt the sick feeling increase, proving that it was the Math she was nervous of. What did that mean?

***

Oz stared in front of him without really seeing anything that was there. He was in his bedroom, sitting cross-legged on a stripped mattress and stationary. He'd been halfway through remaking his bed that morning when everything had just hit him.

Someone he knew was dead.

And it wasn't as easy to get over for him as it seemed to be for everyone else. Bar Giles. Over the last few months of his life things had changed. Some stuff got better, and some worse. Like this. And being a Werewolf.

He loved Willow. He really did. And that was a pretty heavy concept for a highschool kid. He knew. But could he really stay with her, and her friends, if this was what happened. People died.

Oz stood up and began to unfold the fresh sheet he'd collected. He was vaguely aware that he was late, very late for school. But it wasn't as if he hadn't skipped before. Just not when he was going out with Willow.

He wasn't about to leave her, anytime soon. But he knew now that he would never have a normal life. It was strange that that never struck him when he became part wolf, but that hadn't bothered him as much. He saw his life stretching out in front of him, people he knew dying all of the time and him never around to stop it. To save them. To wake up.

Oz stared down at the made bed and then slowly flopped down onto it. Before he was just late, now he was skipping, he needed to sort out his head. Some stuff was just more important than school.

(Author's Note: Apologies for the lateness of this update, I was on a roll but then I lost it. In other news I dreamt I was Noah the other night, animals and floods. I have issues. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far, I'm glad you're enjoying it.)