Heylo, people! Before I start, I'd just like to say that despite the way this fic sounds, I AM a fan of Hamtaro. This idea has just been stuck in my head for a while now, so I decided that I'm finally going to write it. Excuse the quality, this first chapter was written between 1 and 2am so it may not be great, and it's not like I'm that good of a writer anyway. Also, the formatting got terribly messed up, and I can't fix it, since I don't know html. And one last note, I don't own anything in this fic, besides the twisted idea. Enjoy!
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Little Hamsters, Big Explosions
Another happy shiny day had dawned upon…wherever the heck everybody lives. It was 5:59am and everything was calm and quiet, that is until a large plastic rooster with a guitar began bopping back and forth, playing a very merry, and very loud tune, thus shattering the peace. Laura Haruna grumpily pounded down on a button on the plastic monstrosity, before rubbing her eyes and looking at the time displayed on the clock: 7:00am sharp. Sighing, she climbed out of bed, passing her hamster, who somehow slept through the chicken's singing, and headed towards the bathroom to brush her teeth. About 45 minutes later, Laura was all ready for school, and was waiting on her front porch for her best friend Kana to come and walk with her to school. 'Strange,' she thought, 'I wonder why I'm so sleepy today…and why is it so dark out?' Not being able to put two and two together, Laura continued to sit there, waiting for her friend, for a few more minutes. Soon she came to the conclusion that Kana wasn't coming, so she headed out to school all alone. Inside her bedroom, Hamtaro continued to sleep.
Meanwhile, somewhere in the woods, a certain mohawk-headed, guitar-toting ham-ham had somehow gotten rabies. Don't ask how, he just did. …Wait, you want to know? Okay, a wild 'coon bit him. Happy now? Anyway, he scampered out of the woods, foaming at the mouth, and headed towards the Haruna household. Oh NO! Luckily, the rabies were taking affect on Jingle, and he only had the strength to run to Brandy's doghouse. The lazy dog looked up, after hearing a strange noise. The noise was obviously coming from the foamy ham, who crazily leapt onto the dog and bit him. He was actually now just hanging from Brandy's snout by his teeth, making cute little noises that all rabid hamsters make. Soon enough, Jingle slid off the dog, landing in the dirt in front of him, dead. Ah well, I guess Jingle was too tiny to handle the rabies or something. So yeah, Jingle was dead, and Brandy was now foaming at the mouth, a crazy look in his eyes. Well, since Brandy's eyes are just black liney…things, you can use your imagination with that.
The plastic rooster clock in Laura's room read 8:47am, so in real life it was an hour earlier, and would you look at that, Kana Idunnoherlastname has just arrived at Laura's house! Kana just stood there, staring blankly at Laura's front porch for a while, occasionally blinking. Finally, she was snapped out of her trance by the brown dog, who was laying in his doghouse foaming at the mouth. Kana had seen him out of the corner of her eye, and approached the dog. "Hiya Brandy! Nice day, isn't it?" the girl reached her hand out to pet Brandy, who let out a loud and menacing growl in return. Ignoring the rabid dog's warning, and the dead ham-ham at her feet for that matter, Kana began to pet the animal. Pissed off, Brandy jumped up and latched herself onto Kana's arm. Brandy wriggled around, snarling while still hanging from the screaming ten-year-old's arm. Quite unlike the deceased hamster, Brandy felt stronger than ever, and indeed he was. After a few minutes of chewing on Kana's arm, he finally got through the bone, and fell to the ground, with a new blood-covered chew toy in his mouth. Kana couldn't take the pain, so she passed out ontop of poor Jingle, bleeding profusely from her arm.
Finally getting bored with his new 'toy', Brandy chewed through his leash, and pranced off into the town. Bye-bye Brandy!
We flash to the school. Amazing, ne? Fear the school and its magical glory. The school is a wonderful building indeed. …Wait…it was a wonderful building, for you see, it just randomly exploded. Oh well! The building is engulfed in flames, and voices are heard inside screaming and crying. Two teachers, figuring they were going to die anyway, fell to the floor in a make-out frenzy. Random people came out of their houses dressed in bathrobes, pajamas, and some even clad in only their underwear, and watched the amusing site of the used-to-be school. After a while, firemen finally came from wherever to do their jobs. The flames were put out, and all the charred bodies were dragged out of the building.
We now travel inside of somebody's house, and see what's on the TV. Why, it's the channel 7 news! And what is the subject of the news but of course, the magical exploding school! On the TV, a blonde-haired reporter lady stood, with the smoldering building in the foreground. Holding up her microphone and smiling perkily, she began to speak. "About an hour ago at 8:10, an intermediate school randomly exploded. 22 bodies were recovered from the building, but luckily since it was before school time, 18 of those corpses belonged to teachers. Three were that of students, but nobody really cares about them, since they were in school early. I mean, what kind of freak goes to school early?" The camera man glared at her, and motioned for her to continue, "Oh, right! The last body is still being observed, since we can't tell what it is yet. The most popular theory among the people is that the 22nd body is the rather large lizard from the science lab, but we're still unsure. More updates to come later! In other news, 78 year-old Martha Bradley gave birth to a bouncing baby girl yesterday, during her 'Cooking with Beans' seminar…"
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Okay, that's the end of chapter one. But fear not, chapter two should be up by Sunday night at the latest! And the next chapter will have more of the Ham-Hams, sorry for the lack thereof, I have a plan for them later… *grin* And one more thing, I have no idea what happened to Laura's mom and dad. I somehow forgot about them, so they just won't be in the fic. Let's just pretend that they're off in the Bermuda Triangle, okay?
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Little Hamsters, Big Explosions
Another happy shiny day had dawned upon…wherever the heck everybody lives. It was 5:59am and everything was calm and quiet, that is until a large plastic rooster with a guitar began bopping back and forth, playing a very merry, and very loud tune, thus shattering the peace. Laura Haruna grumpily pounded down on a button on the plastic monstrosity, before rubbing her eyes and looking at the time displayed on the clock: 7:00am sharp. Sighing, she climbed out of bed, passing her hamster, who somehow slept through the chicken's singing, and headed towards the bathroom to brush her teeth. About 45 minutes later, Laura was all ready for school, and was waiting on her front porch for her best friend Kana to come and walk with her to school. 'Strange,' she thought, 'I wonder why I'm so sleepy today…and why is it so dark out?' Not being able to put two and two together, Laura continued to sit there, waiting for her friend, for a few more minutes. Soon she came to the conclusion that Kana wasn't coming, so she headed out to school all alone. Inside her bedroom, Hamtaro continued to sleep.
Meanwhile, somewhere in the woods, a certain mohawk-headed, guitar-toting ham-ham had somehow gotten rabies. Don't ask how, he just did. …Wait, you want to know? Okay, a wild 'coon bit him. Happy now? Anyway, he scampered out of the woods, foaming at the mouth, and headed towards the Haruna household. Oh NO! Luckily, the rabies were taking affect on Jingle, and he only had the strength to run to Brandy's doghouse. The lazy dog looked up, after hearing a strange noise. The noise was obviously coming from the foamy ham, who crazily leapt onto the dog and bit him. He was actually now just hanging from Brandy's snout by his teeth, making cute little noises that all rabid hamsters make. Soon enough, Jingle slid off the dog, landing in the dirt in front of him, dead. Ah well, I guess Jingle was too tiny to handle the rabies or something. So yeah, Jingle was dead, and Brandy was now foaming at the mouth, a crazy look in his eyes. Well, since Brandy's eyes are just black liney…things, you can use your imagination with that.
The plastic rooster clock in Laura's room read 8:47am, so in real life it was an hour earlier, and would you look at that, Kana Idunnoherlastname has just arrived at Laura's house! Kana just stood there, staring blankly at Laura's front porch for a while, occasionally blinking. Finally, she was snapped out of her trance by the brown dog, who was laying in his doghouse foaming at the mouth. Kana had seen him out of the corner of her eye, and approached the dog. "Hiya Brandy! Nice day, isn't it?" the girl reached her hand out to pet Brandy, who let out a loud and menacing growl in return. Ignoring the rabid dog's warning, and the dead ham-ham at her feet for that matter, Kana began to pet the animal. Pissed off, Brandy jumped up and latched herself onto Kana's arm. Brandy wriggled around, snarling while still hanging from the screaming ten-year-old's arm. Quite unlike the deceased hamster, Brandy felt stronger than ever, and indeed he was. After a few minutes of chewing on Kana's arm, he finally got through the bone, and fell to the ground, with a new blood-covered chew toy in his mouth. Kana couldn't take the pain, so she passed out ontop of poor Jingle, bleeding profusely from her arm.
Finally getting bored with his new 'toy', Brandy chewed through his leash, and pranced off into the town. Bye-bye Brandy!
We flash to the school. Amazing, ne? Fear the school and its magical glory. The school is a wonderful building indeed. …Wait…it was a wonderful building, for you see, it just randomly exploded. Oh well! The building is engulfed in flames, and voices are heard inside screaming and crying. Two teachers, figuring they were going to die anyway, fell to the floor in a make-out frenzy. Random people came out of their houses dressed in bathrobes, pajamas, and some even clad in only their underwear, and watched the amusing site of the used-to-be school. After a while, firemen finally came from wherever to do their jobs. The flames were put out, and all the charred bodies were dragged out of the building.
We now travel inside of somebody's house, and see what's on the TV. Why, it's the channel 7 news! And what is the subject of the news but of course, the magical exploding school! On the TV, a blonde-haired reporter lady stood, with the smoldering building in the foreground. Holding up her microphone and smiling perkily, she began to speak. "About an hour ago at 8:10, an intermediate school randomly exploded. 22 bodies were recovered from the building, but luckily since it was before school time, 18 of those corpses belonged to teachers. Three were that of students, but nobody really cares about them, since they were in school early. I mean, what kind of freak goes to school early?" The camera man glared at her, and motioned for her to continue, "Oh, right! The last body is still being observed, since we can't tell what it is yet. The most popular theory among the people is that the 22nd body is the rather large lizard from the science lab, but we're still unsure. More updates to come later! In other news, 78 year-old Martha Bradley gave birth to a bouncing baby girl yesterday, during her 'Cooking with Beans' seminar…"
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Okay, that's the end of chapter one. But fear not, chapter two should be up by Sunday night at the latest! And the next chapter will have more of the Ham-Hams, sorry for the lack thereof, I have a plan for them later… *grin* And one more thing, I have no idea what happened to Laura's mom and dad. I somehow forgot about them, so they just won't be in the fic. Let's just pretend that they're off in the Bermuda Triangle, okay?