Captured

Chapter 5 – Why!?

I know it's been a while. Don't blame me… I've been pretty busy. The 'school' and I seem to have a mutual agreement to hate each other until the end of time. To defy each other's will and crush each other's hopes and dreams… but then I could be mental and I could be delusional to the world… you the readers be the judge... hehe

This chapter is kinda short. But I decided to put it up anyways since, it's been a while since I updated. Toke your comments about loving angst. So here it is. A chapter full of it, enjoy.

Special thanks to Cynthia for editing again.

~*~*~Goku~*~*~

The world around me seemed to be slowly revolving when I had agonizingly regained my consciousness. I faintly remembered why I had blacked out. It was from pain, the pain Homura inflicted while reattaching my dislocated shoulder. Thinking about it now made me feel useless, pathetic that such a small gesture would cause me to faint. Baka-saru -- Gojyo would say if he saw me now.

The distant familiar voices that I hear quickly jot me back to reality. It soundly dimly like Hakkai and Gojyo. It was too distant and faint for me to clearly distinguish from where I laid on the bed. With much effort and pain I slowly arose. Gathering what's left of my shredded clothes, I gradually etched towards the source of the sound.

The source of the sound was that as from a wash-pale brimming with water. At first, very distorted, however, the more I concentrated, the clearer the images became and the louder the voices were. Inside I could see transparent images of Gojyo and Hakkai beaten and lying against the side of a mountain.

"Gojyo! Hakkai!" I could no longer hold back my shouts, though I know there is no way that they could hear me. I wanted to help them!

Then all of a sudden…

-- BANG--

{It's Sanzou!!} I thought hopefully, he will save them, and then will come save me.

I watch with anticipation as Sanzou slowly walked towards them.

"Couldn't sleep" Sanzou murmured as he continued to walk towards the party.

Homura smiled as he said "Or… is it because Son Goku isn't here?"

{Sanzou…misses me…} I was overjoyed though the idea shocked me. The thought of Sanzou needing me had never before, especially after he revealed his feelings of how he didn't need me, and that my existence was a nuisance to him back then.

…Maybe I was mistaken, and had wrongly interpreted what Sanzou said. I leaned closer, eager to hear Sanzou's response.

"Chi, that useless Saru? Someone who's stupid enough to get captured… so worthless." The words cut through me like a knife. I was shocked, and horrified. Would Sanzou really abandon me? Was it because of what happened between Homura and me? Did he find out? How did he find out?

What Homura said next was even more of a surprise. "If that's what you think… Maybe I'll keep Son Goku forever then?"

There was a pause.

{Hope} I thought, and held my breath. {Maybe Sanzou was just joking…} I again became relieved.

{But Sanzou barely jokes around…} I was questioning myself, part of me was unsure of what just happened.

{But if he really didn't want me, why would he pause to answer the question?} Trying not go give up on the slightest of bit of hope. I was worried, getting more and more anxious. What would happen if Sanzou really doesn't come to retrieve me? Would he really give me to Homura that easily?

Then Sanzou spoke. "Chi… do as you like."

"NO! IT'S NOT TRUE!" I screamed, I collapsing onto the floor, tipping the bucket of water over. The images disappear, disconnecting my last link with Sanzou. How could Sanzou say that!? Did he really mean what he said both at the Inn and just now? No, he wouldn't. He didn't mean that.

…But what if he did? Ignoring me, what did he think of me as? Why then did he free me from the cave that time? Back when I did not know of the world I was missing.

If I knew… I'd rather not…

Tears flow from my eyes as I sat there on the floor, overwhelmed with unanswered questions. I slowly finished dressing myself with what's left of my clothing.

…Something was breaking. Shattering…

So… I was just… waiting for … nobody.

…No one…

~*~*~Sanzou~*~*~

The next day we started off, heading west. I disguised my anxiety with insults and calmness. Appearing heartless was, of course, my specialty.

Hakkai had woken up early and brought more supplies. Gojyo seemed extra worried so Hakkai had taken care to buy more cigarettes than usual.

Hakkai got into the car first, then Gojyo, then me. No one said a word while we were heading out of town. Nothing but dead silence.

Finally, while traveling along a worn out road, Gojyo finally cracked.

"Well, I guess with that baka saru gone, I can eat his share of the food…"

"Ha ha, you better not. Goku will be angry that you ate his share…" Hakkai said, temporarily forgetting that Goku was no longer with us.

"…" I didn't say anything. Silence followed, none of us dared to speak. Maybe it was because none of us were certain we could or more like can get Goku back. Memories of our previous encounters with Homura and his gang only serve to support this notion. No, we weren't sure that we had the power to get Goku back by force. Every one was on edge. But I of course tried not to show it.

"…Sanzou…" It was that voice again. This time however, it was weaker, fading, less audible. It worried me, but I ignored it.

A few more hours passed by before anyone tried to converse again. Nothing of interest was said, Hakkai tried to talk about the weather, while Gojyo commented on the troublesomeness of that baka saru. Pretty soon, it was nightfall and we were checking into an inn in the next town. We ate our dinner in silence and then retired to our rooms.

And it was almost towards the end of the day, then I began to pay attention to that voice. It… a voice that wasn't a voice… was almost completely gone. All of a sudden, it became very quiet; I couldn't hear anymore of it. That was getting into my nerves, as if hinting something.

I was sure I would not like it.

"Someday you'll hear it too… dare ga no koe ga…" Those were the words of Koumyou Sanzou, from long long ago.

But tell me Sensei… what does it mean if the voices disappear?

Oh how I wish you could answer me…

NOTES:

"dare ga no koe ga" is sth from the anime. Roughly trans: Somebody's voice…

Next chapter might come faster than this one did. I usually write something when I do my English essays… and I have a huge research paper due soon… he he