Author's Notes- Thank you all very much for reviewing, it cheers me up so
incredibly much. This thing is practically writing itself now.
Disclaimer's- Don't own nothin'.
I woke the next day with a lingering trace of Blaise's lips in my mouth. Ice, and ashes, and salty tears. Aniseed from the bitter absinthe the Slytherins drank like lemonade. Alcohol, and the bitter taste of all the chemicals he had swallowed or shot up that made up his lovely corrupt self. Nothing could be further away from Ginny, and at the reminder of her a sick headache throbbed at my temples. Sick at the thought of lying to her, sick at the thought of hurting her.
I decided to skip Transfiguration. McGonogall would be furious but I didn't think I could look Ron in the eye knowing I had gone behind his sister's back for the school whore. I wandered up to the Owlrey, a faint idea already in my head. Hedwig appeared with a soft rustle of feathers and clicked her beak. "Not today," I said, ruffling her soft feathers affectionately. "Can't risk you being recognised,"
I called a tiny black owl that looked rather bored. It fluttered down eagerly and sat on my finger, preening. I scrawled a hasty note with my free hand and tied it to its leg. "Blaise Zabini," I told the owl. "Try to catch him alone. It's very important,"
The owl looked surprised at being asked to deliver a message to someone so close, but took off obediently. I hoped it wouldn't deliver the message in front of Malfoy and company, and I winced picturing half of Slytherin reading it. Blaise probably wouldn't give a shit if they thought I was screwing him, unless Flint was more possessive than I thought. But I cared.. more for Ginny than myself. The note was brief, and not too revealing
"Blaise, I wasn't just looking for a quick fuck last night. Can you meet me, as soon as possible? Harry"
I headed off to the tower top again. It seemed the best place to be when I wanted to avoid people. But I had barely reached the top when the owl reappeared, hooting indignantly as the cool wind buffetted it mercilessly. I reached over the wall that encircled the tower top and caught it. It tried to fly off sneakily as I removed the message and I held it tighter.
"One last message," I promised, and received a hard nip for my trouble. I unrolled the parchment and read.
"I'm free now, Blaise"
Ok, so he wasn't into romantic letters. Hey, I was lucky he could manage that- judging by Crabble and Goyle, many of the Slytherins borderlined illiterate. I scribbled my reply hastily. The wind caught the wet ink and fanned it out like black tear tracks.
"Meet me at the tower. As soon as you can, Harry"
The owl flew off with my message as though its tail feathes were on fire. I watched it as it was immediately swept from sight and huddled into my robes. The steely sky looked over soberly. 'Potter, you're a fool,' I reminded myself as a bad case of first-date nerves shot through me. I felt as jittery as I had done when I first asked Cho Chang to that ball last year. "I could really do with some alcohol," I murmured out loud.
"Promise you won't tell McGonogall though?" I whirled round and Blaise was standing there with a faintly amused smile across his deathmask-calm features. He offered me a small bottle with a pale green liquid swirling in it. Absinthe. I swallowed a shot or two and felt greenfire blazing to my core. He reclaimed it and eyed me in that vaguely dangerous way.
"Changed your mind about something, Potter?" He asked. I felt a smirk twisting my features. He brought out the Slytherin in me, he really did.
"Maybe. Did you manage to find Flint last night, or did we have to settle for Filch again? I hear he's very fond of those manacles he has,"
Dark eyes blazed black fire at me, but he seemed to prefer this banter to when I turned psychoanalyist on him.
"I found Flint alright. Blind drunk and pissed off at a certain Gryffindor," His eyes slanted up at me and an almost coquettish smile crossed his face. "I wonder how much angrier he'd be if he knew.. everything?"
I took the alcohol from him again and downed another shot. "Don't try to threaten me Blaise. You wanted it more than I did,"
"That's true," He replied moodily and kicked a stone over the edge. There was absolute silence and he glanced over the edge.
"Hufflepuff take Quidditch down there. Five Galleons says I can land another on Justin's curly little head,"
"How Slytherin of you," I raised an eyebrow and crossed over to where he stood. He turned away and leaned over the stone wall that ran three- quarters of the way around the tower. I perched next to him. He didn't stir, until I caught a glimpse of purple-black across his wrist and grabbed it.
"How did you get that?" I asked, revealing a rather sore looking bruise. Older ones dotted around it, a bracelet of discolour. Blaise flinched instinctively.
"You work it out, Potter," He spat. Bracelet shaped.. oh. Handcuffs? I raised an eyebrow.
"Why don't you heal these?" I asked, puzzled.
"What's the point of giving me bruises if they're gone by the next day?" He asked. His voice had run cold again. Any spite had gone. It was useless trying to talk when he froze up like that. So Flint was an abusive bastard. Blaise would probably join a convent before he'd admit if he was less than happy with his sex life. Besides, everyone knew Blaise liked it rough. But still.. I traced some of the bruises as gently as I could.
"Why do you like this?" I asked him.
He shrugged, the sharp lines of his shoulders jagged under black robes. Not feeling very eloquent then. I touched his hair and ran a finger over the edge of a cheekbone. Blaise seemed uncomfortable, but didn't move away. "I do like you," I said reassuringly and got my usual purple-black glare for daring to care about him.
"Really," I continued insistently, turning Blaise to face me. "But I don't want to have sex with you. Not yet," He scowled furiously. Honestly, it was like telling Dudley that Christmas had been cancelled.
"Can we just talk?" I asked slowly. He wasn't exactly talking much. A slow nod. Well, it was certainly a start.
"So tell me about yourself," I settled back against the stone wall and reached out. He reluctantly sat down besides me and I slid my arm around his shoulders.
"Why don't you start?" He asked, a little moodily.
"I imagine that everyone in the wizarding world already knows my life story, past relationships and taste in socks," I replied dryly. "There's probably not much else I could say,"
"That's true," A pause. "Where do I start?"
"The beginning would be lovely,"
"You want to hear about my early childhood traumas? I believe Goyle almost blinded me with a toy broomstick when I was three,"
"Yep. Off you go," I pulled him a little closer. After a pause he lay his head against my shoulder and began.
"I suppose you already guessed my parents are Death Eaters," He started. "And I'm assuming you aren't going to trot off to Dumbledore with that information. He probably knows anyway," I shook my head.
"Umm.. I was down to attend Beauxbatons- my mother is French and thought it better than Hogwarts. I grew up in the North, quite near Malfoy Manor. I've known him all my life," He smiled a little. "Malfoy still needs a nightlight, but if you must use that against him, it didn't come from me,"
"Any other interesting Slytherin facts?" I asked, interested.
"Goyle's pet cat is called Binky and he won't go anywhere without her. Spent three days sat with her in the Infirmary once when Crabbe accidentally stood on her tail and broke it. They didn't speak for weeks,"
I smiled, imaging the troll-like Goyle attached to his pet kitty.
"And Pansy is secretly addicted to Eastenders ever since she spent a week by herself in London and discovered the world of Muggle TV. I believe she found a way to play her favourite programmes using a magical projector,"
"Aren't Slytherins supposed to hate anything Muggle-related?"
"Not really. We aren't all as evil as you think. Many of us aren't even interested in following Voldemort,"
"But you always look down on other Houses. And what about Malfoy and his vendetta against Mudbloods?"
Blaise considered. "We do have different standards. Inter-House loyalty is far more prized than being amicable towards others. Malfoy.. well, he's a little extreme. If you ever saw what his home life is like you might understand why,"
"Tell me," I demanded. Blaise looked away.
"We keep each other's secrets. The nightlight, Binky, Pansy's soap opera obsession.. well, that's nothing important. But there are some things we just don't share. Like I said, we are loyal to each other,"
"Sorry," I hugged him lightly. "So why did you get together with Flint? Do you actually like him?"
"I still don't see what it has to do with you," He complained.
"So..?" I prompted again.
"Of course I don't like him. He reminds me of a bloody troll," Blaise replied honestly. "He likes me well enough though. And he's too stupid to know if I sleep around a bit,"
"You'll stay with anyone as long as they like you, are willing to fuck you through the floor on a daily basis and aren't clever enough to realise that you're sleeping with everyone else in the House as soon as they turn their back?" My voice is rather sharp. I can't help it. If I can't achieve my goals with kindness, I'll burn through his defences with acid.
Burning black eyes, never knew a colour so dark could look so caustic.
"Don't tell me how to live my life, Potter. I've managed perfectly well without your wonderful advice until now,"
"You're a complete mess,"
I still don't know how we went from that to kissing. Perhaps I kissed him to shut him up before he retaliated. Maybe he was just horny. I do know we were there for hours. It started as a battle for dominance, kissing so aggressively we drew blood. I dimly remembered Blaise laying my back open with rows of raw scratches, and me pushing him into the stone floor under my greater weight in retaliation. Pain suited him. Blood trickling over pale skin, lips bruised and sore, pinned under me and loving it. It was almost an hour before the kisses turned gentle and more intimate. Kissing away blood. Softer, lingering caresses. It seemed to go on forever. It wasn't until Hedwig appeared and hooted indignantly that we were interrupted. I pulled myself away reluctantly and read the message.
"Harry, where on earth are you? You've missed every lesson and no-one knows where you went. Please tell me you're alive, Love, Ginny,"
"Shit," I dropped the letter and watched it burn up in a hot red flash. "I've got to go,"
"The Weasley spawn wants her puppy back?" Blaise stood in one fluid motion. "I'd better get back,"
"What excuse can I give?" I asked frantically.
Blaise shrugged. "Personally, I'm going to say I was having a smoke round the back of the Quidditch fields. But I suppose you've got a reputation to uphold. Say you were off hunting Voldemort," He smirked. "Good luck, Potter. I'll see you around,"
"Yeah.." I smiled and let him go. I'd have to see if he'd come back to me.
He did. We met again that night. And the night after. Then there was a quick hour we spent in the Gryffindor stands at the Quidditch fields. Once I even sneaked into the Slytherin common room and we kissed under the invisibility cloak whilst Flint sat doing his homework only a few feet away. It was the most thrilling and possibly stupidest thing I'd ever done- if Flint had found out, I'd have been dismembered slowly and painfully.
And although I still refused to have sex, we got a little closer every day. We talked. He still refused to stay celibate- I knew he was sleeping around still, but even being this close to him was better than nothing. We experimented of course- I tried to bring him pleasure in every way I knew. But no sex. Not until I knew he wanted to be with me and not just anyone who'd have him. And we were getting close.. so very close.
I met Malka Rownbliss one day. I didn't know that was her name then. I only recognised her as the tall Slytherin girl with the clear violet eyes and long sleek hair. Burgundy slashed through with scarlet, like a mixture of old and new bloodstains. She cornered me one day between Potions and History of Magic, pulled me into an alcove. Her nails were a deep red and bit into my wrist as I tried to pull back. "Shh!" She whispered fiercely and dragged me into the shadows. There was a faintly threatening look on her usual serene features and a pale silver wand in her hand.
"What do you want with Blaise?" She demanded. It took me by surprise. I thought no-one had seen us, ever. Could she be jealous? But I had never seen Blaise with a female before. I frowned. This was awkward. Her wand sparked tiny black flames as she waited for my answer. Perhaps I'd better be honest.
"I think I love him," I replied weakly and waited for her mocking laughter. It didn't come. She lowered her wand.
"What about Ginny?" Her eyes were calm again, but undeniably curious. "How does she fit into this,"
"I don't know," I said truthfully. "I don't want to see her hurt, but I really do think I love Blaise. Can I ask how you know, and why you're interested?"
"Blaise is probably my closest friend here," She smiled. "I transferred from Beauxbatons last year and didn't know anyone. We talked a lot- girly stuff, you know, and I noticed recently that he's been acting rather strange. I'm a girl- I can tell when my friend is falling for someone. And you've been looking like a lovestruck puppy in Potions,"
"Oh," I hoped no-one else had realised that. "Do you think there's any chance that Blaise and I can.. well, you know, actually have a proper relationship?"
Her eyes went indigo-dark as though a shadow fell over her pretty face. "He's still sleeping with Flint and co, I know. But I hope he does settle down with you- he's my friend but I can see that he has issues with the whole sex thing. If you can help him, I can be your best friend. If you hurt him, I can be your worst enemy," Her eyes glittered dangerously. I nodded slowly and turned to leave.
"Oh, and Harry?" I turned back. She pushed her sleek hair back and faced me.
"Don't be too surprised if he pushes you away at first,"
I left.
Disclaimer's- Don't own nothin'.
I woke the next day with a lingering trace of Blaise's lips in my mouth. Ice, and ashes, and salty tears. Aniseed from the bitter absinthe the Slytherins drank like lemonade. Alcohol, and the bitter taste of all the chemicals he had swallowed or shot up that made up his lovely corrupt self. Nothing could be further away from Ginny, and at the reminder of her a sick headache throbbed at my temples. Sick at the thought of lying to her, sick at the thought of hurting her.
I decided to skip Transfiguration. McGonogall would be furious but I didn't think I could look Ron in the eye knowing I had gone behind his sister's back for the school whore. I wandered up to the Owlrey, a faint idea already in my head. Hedwig appeared with a soft rustle of feathers and clicked her beak. "Not today," I said, ruffling her soft feathers affectionately. "Can't risk you being recognised,"
I called a tiny black owl that looked rather bored. It fluttered down eagerly and sat on my finger, preening. I scrawled a hasty note with my free hand and tied it to its leg. "Blaise Zabini," I told the owl. "Try to catch him alone. It's very important,"
The owl looked surprised at being asked to deliver a message to someone so close, but took off obediently. I hoped it wouldn't deliver the message in front of Malfoy and company, and I winced picturing half of Slytherin reading it. Blaise probably wouldn't give a shit if they thought I was screwing him, unless Flint was more possessive than I thought. But I cared.. more for Ginny than myself. The note was brief, and not too revealing
"Blaise, I wasn't just looking for a quick fuck last night. Can you meet me, as soon as possible? Harry"
I headed off to the tower top again. It seemed the best place to be when I wanted to avoid people. But I had barely reached the top when the owl reappeared, hooting indignantly as the cool wind buffetted it mercilessly. I reached over the wall that encircled the tower top and caught it. It tried to fly off sneakily as I removed the message and I held it tighter.
"One last message," I promised, and received a hard nip for my trouble. I unrolled the parchment and read.
"I'm free now, Blaise"
Ok, so he wasn't into romantic letters. Hey, I was lucky he could manage that- judging by Crabble and Goyle, many of the Slytherins borderlined illiterate. I scribbled my reply hastily. The wind caught the wet ink and fanned it out like black tear tracks.
"Meet me at the tower. As soon as you can, Harry"
The owl flew off with my message as though its tail feathes were on fire. I watched it as it was immediately swept from sight and huddled into my robes. The steely sky looked over soberly. 'Potter, you're a fool,' I reminded myself as a bad case of first-date nerves shot through me. I felt as jittery as I had done when I first asked Cho Chang to that ball last year. "I could really do with some alcohol," I murmured out loud.
"Promise you won't tell McGonogall though?" I whirled round and Blaise was standing there with a faintly amused smile across his deathmask-calm features. He offered me a small bottle with a pale green liquid swirling in it. Absinthe. I swallowed a shot or two and felt greenfire blazing to my core. He reclaimed it and eyed me in that vaguely dangerous way.
"Changed your mind about something, Potter?" He asked. I felt a smirk twisting my features. He brought out the Slytherin in me, he really did.
"Maybe. Did you manage to find Flint last night, or did we have to settle for Filch again? I hear he's very fond of those manacles he has,"
Dark eyes blazed black fire at me, but he seemed to prefer this banter to when I turned psychoanalyist on him.
"I found Flint alright. Blind drunk and pissed off at a certain Gryffindor," His eyes slanted up at me and an almost coquettish smile crossed his face. "I wonder how much angrier he'd be if he knew.. everything?"
I took the alcohol from him again and downed another shot. "Don't try to threaten me Blaise. You wanted it more than I did,"
"That's true," He replied moodily and kicked a stone over the edge. There was absolute silence and he glanced over the edge.
"Hufflepuff take Quidditch down there. Five Galleons says I can land another on Justin's curly little head,"
"How Slytherin of you," I raised an eyebrow and crossed over to where he stood. He turned away and leaned over the stone wall that ran three- quarters of the way around the tower. I perched next to him. He didn't stir, until I caught a glimpse of purple-black across his wrist and grabbed it.
"How did you get that?" I asked, revealing a rather sore looking bruise. Older ones dotted around it, a bracelet of discolour. Blaise flinched instinctively.
"You work it out, Potter," He spat. Bracelet shaped.. oh. Handcuffs? I raised an eyebrow.
"Why don't you heal these?" I asked, puzzled.
"What's the point of giving me bruises if they're gone by the next day?" He asked. His voice had run cold again. Any spite had gone. It was useless trying to talk when he froze up like that. So Flint was an abusive bastard. Blaise would probably join a convent before he'd admit if he was less than happy with his sex life. Besides, everyone knew Blaise liked it rough. But still.. I traced some of the bruises as gently as I could.
"Why do you like this?" I asked him.
He shrugged, the sharp lines of his shoulders jagged under black robes. Not feeling very eloquent then. I touched his hair and ran a finger over the edge of a cheekbone. Blaise seemed uncomfortable, but didn't move away. "I do like you," I said reassuringly and got my usual purple-black glare for daring to care about him.
"Really," I continued insistently, turning Blaise to face me. "But I don't want to have sex with you. Not yet," He scowled furiously. Honestly, it was like telling Dudley that Christmas had been cancelled.
"Can we just talk?" I asked slowly. He wasn't exactly talking much. A slow nod. Well, it was certainly a start.
"So tell me about yourself," I settled back against the stone wall and reached out. He reluctantly sat down besides me and I slid my arm around his shoulders.
"Why don't you start?" He asked, a little moodily.
"I imagine that everyone in the wizarding world already knows my life story, past relationships and taste in socks," I replied dryly. "There's probably not much else I could say,"
"That's true," A pause. "Where do I start?"
"The beginning would be lovely,"
"You want to hear about my early childhood traumas? I believe Goyle almost blinded me with a toy broomstick when I was three,"
"Yep. Off you go," I pulled him a little closer. After a pause he lay his head against my shoulder and began.
"I suppose you already guessed my parents are Death Eaters," He started. "And I'm assuming you aren't going to trot off to Dumbledore with that information. He probably knows anyway," I shook my head.
"Umm.. I was down to attend Beauxbatons- my mother is French and thought it better than Hogwarts. I grew up in the North, quite near Malfoy Manor. I've known him all my life," He smiled a little. "Malfoy still needs a nightlight, but if you must use that against him, it didn't come from me,"
"Any other interesting Slytherin facts?" I asked, interested.
"Goyle's pet cat is called Binky and he won't go anywhere without her. Spent three days sat with her in the Infirmary once when Crabbe accidentally stood on her tail and broke it. They didn't speak for weeks,"
I smiled, imaging the troll-like Goyle attached to his pet kitty.
"And Pansy is secretly addicted to Eastenders ever since she spent a week by herself in London and discovered the world of Muggle TV. I believe she found a way to play her favourite programmes using a magical projector,"
"Aren't Slytherins supposed to hate anything Muggle-related?"
"Not really. We aren't all as evil as you think. Many of us aren't even interested in following Voldemort,"
"But you always look down on other Houses. And what about Malfoy and his vendetta against Mudbloods?"
Blaise considered. "We do have different standards. Inter-House loyalty is far more prized than being amicable towards others. Malfoy.. well, he's a little extreme. If you ever saw what his home life is like you might understand why,"
"Tell me," I demanded. Blaise looked away.
"We keep each other's secrets. The nightlight, Binky, Pansy's soap opera obsession.. well, that's nothing important. But there are some things we just don't share. Like I said, we are loyal to each other,"
"Sorry," I hugged him lightly. "So why did you get together with Flint? Do you actually like him?"
"I still don't see what it has to do with you," He complained.
"So..?" I prompted again.
"Of course I don't like him. He reminds me of a bloody troll," Blaise replied honestly. "He likes me well enough though. And he's too stupid to know if I sleep around a bit,"
"You'll stay with anyone as long as they like you, are willing to fuck you through the floor on a daily basis and aren't clever enough to realise that you're sleeping with everyone else in the House as soon as they turn their back?" My voice is rather sharp. I can't help it. If I can't achieve my goals with kindness, I'll burn through his defences with acid.
Burning black eyes, never knew a colour so dark could look so caustic.
"Don't tell me how to live my life, Potter. I've managed perfectly well without your wonderful advice until now,"
"You're a complete mess,"
I still don't know how we went from that to kissing. Perhaps I kissed him to shut him up before he retaliated. Maybe he was just horny. I do know we were there for hours. It started as a battle for dominance, kissing so aggressively we drew blood. I dimly remembered Blaise laying my back open with rows of raw scratches, and me pushing him into the stone floor under my greater weight in retaliation. Pain suited him. Blood trickling over pale skin, lips bruised and sore, pinned under me and loving it. It was almost an hour before the kisses turned gentle and more intimate. Kissing away blood. Softer, lingering caresses. It seemed to go on forever. It wasn't until Hedwig appeared and hooted indignantly that we were interrupted. I pulled myself away reluctantly and read the message.
"Harry, where on earth are you? You've missed every lesson and no-one knows where you went. Please tell me you're alive, Love, Ginny,"
"Shit," I dropped the letter and watched it burn up in a hot red flash. "I've got to go,"
"The Weasley spawn wants her puppy back?" Blaise stood in one fluid motion. "I'd better get back,"
"What excuse can I give?" I asked frantically.
Blaise shrugged. "Personally, I'm going to say I was having a smoke round the back of the Quidditch fields. But I suppose you've got a reputation to uphold. Say you were off hunting Voldemort," He smirked. "Good luck, Potter. I'll see you around,"
"Yeah.." I smiled and let him go. I'd have to see if he'd come back to me.
He did. We met again that night. And the night after. Then there was a quick hour we spent in the Gryffindor stands at the Quidditch fields. Once I even sneaked into the Slytherin common room and we kissed under the invisibility cloak whilst Flint sat doing his homework only a few feet away. It was the most thrilling and possibly stupidest thing I'd ever done- if Flint had found out, I'd have been dismembered slowly and painfully.
And although I still refused to have sex, we got a little closer every day. We talked. He still refused to stay celibate- I knew he was sleeping around still, but even being this close to him was better than nothing. We experimented of course- I tried to bring him pleasure in every way I knew. But no sex. Not until I knew he wanted to be with me and not just anyone who'd have him. And we were getting close.. so very close.
I met Malka Rownbliss one day. I didn't know that was her name then. I only recognised her as the tall Slytherin girl with the clear violet eyes and long sleek hair. Burgundy slashed through with scarlet, like a mixture of old and new bloodstains. She cornered me one day between Potions and History of Magic, pulled me into an alcove. Her nails were a deep red and bit into my wrist as I tried to pull back. "Shh!" She whispered fiercely and dragged me into the shadows. There was a faintly threatening look on her usual serene features and a pale silver wand in her hand.
"What do you want with Blaise?" She demanded. It took me by surprise. I thought no-one had seen us, ever. Could she be jealous? But I had never seen Blaise with a female before. I frowned. This was awkward. Her wand sparked tiny black flames as she waited for my answer. Perhaps I'd better be honest.
"I think I love him," I replied weakly and waited for her mocking laughter. It didn't come. She lowered her wand.
"What about Ginny?" Her eyes were calm again, but undeniably curious. "How does she fit into this,"
"I don't know," I said truthfully. "I don't want to see her hurt, but I really do think I love Blaise. Can I ask how you know, and why you're interested?"
"Blaise is probably my closest friend here," She smiled. "I transferred from Beauxbatons last year and didn't know anyone. We talked a lot- girly stuff, you know, and I noticed recently that he's been acting rather strange. I'm a girl- I can tell when my friend is falling for someone. And you've been looking like a lovestruck puppy in Potions,"
"Oh," I hoped no-one else had realised that. "Do you think there's any chance that Blaise and I can.. well, you know, actually have a proper relationship?"
Her eyes went indigo-dark as though a shadow fell over her pretty face. "He's still sleeping with Flint and co, I know. But I hope he does settle down with you- he's my friend but I can see that he has issues with the whole sex thing. If you can help him, I can be your best friend. If you hurt him, I can be your worst enemy," Her eyes glittered dangerously. I nodded slowly and turned to leave.
"Oh, and Harry?" I turned back. She pushed her sleek hair back and faced me.
"Don't be too surprised if he pushes you away at first,"
I left.