Author's Notes- Last two chapters. Woo! Disclaimers- Still own nowt. And I forgot to mention it, but some of the chapter titles have been stolen from lyrics. Hehe.



Something was wrong. Very, very wrong. I stood there for a while in the darkness, shifting indecisively. There was the heavy feeling of sex in the air, a faint tang of danger too. What could I do? Go to find Blaise? He wouldn't want to speak to me or even come near me now. How about if I asked a Slytherin? Yeah right, like they'd do anything for me. Go to Dumbledore? Shit, it couldn't be that serious, could it? Blaise wasn't the type to do anything stupid. He'd sulk, and then he'd run back to Marcus and we'd pretend we'd never spoken and everything would be ok... well, actually they'd be pretty sucky, but we'd be alive and everything.

But I couldn't get rid of that feeling of unease I'd felt when I'd saw Blaise's face. He'd looked broken? Hurt? Shattered? Yes, that was it. Shattered. Like a perfect glass world had just came crashing down around him. The anger had gone, drained like an infected festering wound. Now I only felt guilt.. and unease. I had to find out how he was. I swung the invisibility cloak back around myself and took off towards the Slytherin common room.

I fairly raced through the castle. Luckily there was no-one around. The portraits were silent, asleep in their frames. No ghosts drifted by to witness my flight. Down to the dungeon, and straight through the door. I already knew the password from the times I had visited with Blaise under the cloak. I knew I'd get him in trouble with the Slytherins for it, but I *had* to find out how he was.

I threw aside the invisibility cloak as soon as I skidded to a halt on the cool stone floor. Instantly hostile eyes swung towards me, from every shadow and corner. No Blaise. Crabbe and Goyle were standing, nothing but silhouettes in the darkness but menacing none the less. Malfoy was sat a little way apart. He eyed me coolly, ready to unleash his pet henchmen at any moment.

"I think you took a wrong turn, Potter," He drawled. Ice-white hair fell into steel-silver eyes. He reminded me of Blaise in so many ways and I wondered again what had happened in Draco's past that Blaise could not speak of. It didn't matter now. Draco was not my problem.

"Where's Blaise?" I demanded. There was a sudden increase in interest.

"Haven't seen him in a while. Why, isn't that Weasley scum putting out?" Malfoy smiled, standing in one elegant, fluid movement.

"It's important," I snarled. "Has anyone at all seen him?"

"What do you want Blaise for?" Flint. Ah. I was hoping I wouldn't meet him. He made Goyle look like a pixie and I stepped back cautiously.

"If you care about him at all, tell me where he is," I replied as calmly as I could. "I can't tell you what's wrong. Just trust me for once,"

Flint glared at me, eyes slightly confused.

"You'd better not be making a move on him," He finally said. "He's mine,"

"I don't care," I replied recklessly. How I lied. "Please, Flint,"

He stared at me for a long moment and turned away. That was *it*? The other Slytherins seemed to lose interest. "Tell me!" I shrieked. They all walked away. Flint glanced back and cracked his knuckles. The threat was perfectly clear.

"Harry," A calm voice from behind me. Torchlight lit her hair like a tongue of burgundy flames. Malka.

"What's wrong?" She asked.

I think your best friend might be in trouble. I think I've done something stupid. I think.. I'm scared..

"I don't know," I said finally. "Just tell me anything you know about where Blaise is. It's important,"

"I haven't seen him for a while," She replied softly. "But if it's important.. as in dangerous.. I know he has somewhere he goes when he wants to be alone. Do you want me to search with you?"

"No!" I cried back as I span round and shot out of the common room. It was so obvious I had overlooked it. The tower. Where else would he go? Although surely he'd go somewhere I wouldn't follow.. I didn't have time to think. I ran back across the corridors, up countless stairs. The Hall was absolutely silent and dark. My breath came in ragged gasps, Hogwart's dusty magic- filled air searing my throat. I realised I had left the Invisibility Cloak in the Slytherin common room and I couldn't care less. All I could see was that last shattered look.. and he had been gone for perhaps a quarter of an hour. Why hadn't I came to the tower straight away?

I fell on the stairs, hitting the sandy stone hard. There was a sharp burst of pure agony blazing across my knee. Blood spattered out onto the steps like spilled candy, welling up from a deep gash and spilling freely onto the floor. I thought I could see white bone. Shit. It was bad- really, really bad. But I didn't have time to stop and see to it. I bit my lip almost through as I pulled myself back up and raced onward. Torn ligaments protested and my leg threatened to buckle beneath me. Only a little higher, a little higher.. I lost my balance and fell into the wall hard. I pushed myself back off it and staggered up the remaining stairs. I couldn't let it slow me down. Why do you have to be so stupid, Potter? Why?

I reached the top and almost lost my balance again. He was there, a shadow painted against a slightly lighter background of rain and night sky. Tempestuous wind swept his hair back as he stood.. stood right on the brink of the tower staring into the void below. I'd know he was.. frail, but I had barely let myself think it would come to this. At least he hadn't jumped yet. Maybe he wanted me to see. Maybe he was just scared.

"Blaise!" My voice sounded a weak rasping parody of its usual self. I doubted he could even hear me over the drumming of the rain. The wind cut sharply to my core and I was suddenly aware of how thin, how fragile he was.. how easy to be swept over the edge. And how easy for him to simply step off.

He span around, much too quickly. My breath caught. A simple stumble would send him backwards into infinity. I limped forward, one step, two steps and stopped. His eyes were bright and faintly deranged. He raised his hand.

"Get back!" A sharp hiss. "I'll jump, Potter, you know I will,"

"Blaise.. I didn't mean any of it.." My words spilled out and died there on the rain-slicked stone tower top. "I was angry.. please, don't jump," How inadequate.

"Go away, Potter," He glared at me. "Forgot you saw anything. It will be over by the time you get back to the common room. Forget we ever spoke. You don't have to play the hero all the time,"

"I'll leave you alone!" I cried. "I swear, I'll never come near you. I do think I love you.." Almost whispered, shyly, the words trying to lose themself in the driving rain. "But if that's what you really want.. I promise I won't bother you any more. Just step back from the edge. It's not worth it,"

"What is worth it?" There was a faintly dreamy sound to his voice and his upturned eyes. "Not me. Not someone like me. You were right, Potter. I'm worthless. I did throw away the best thing that ever happened to me. I hurt the best person I ever met. But it won't matter any more,"

He meant it. He actually did like me. My heart leapt wildly. "You haven't thrown me away. I still want it.. I want *you*. I didn't mean anything I said.. "

"You did," He said quietly. "And it was all true as well,"

"I meant it then," I admitted. "You hurt me pretty badly. But you forget I meant everything I said to you before. I told you I loved you. I meant that too, Blaise. I meant it far more than anything I might have said in haste,"

He reflected. "I know you did. But maybe *I* don't love myself. Maybe I want this.." He trailed off and stared downwards quietly. My heart ached for him and I prayed to the God I was never quite sure existed. Let me win this, and I would find a way to help him. I didn't care how long or how hard. Another step. He didn't seem to notice. Just a few feet away. Could I grab him if he fell now? Another. I could see the sheets of rain breaking upon his skin, tiny beads caught in his eyelashes like diamonds shattering whenever he blinked. He glanced down. I followed his gaze and saw blood dripping from my wound and diluting itself in the cool rain.

"You're hurt," I can't tell if he's actually concerned or trying to distract me. He's trembling. I taste copper in my mouth and realise I've bitten through my lip watching him balanced on the edge of the tower. Another step, slowly and carefully.

"Get back!" He almost shrieked. I watched him shift as though to step back further. But there's nothing but air behind him, treacherous air full of cutting winter wind and blinding rain. Pale hands clench and unclench on the stormy air. I want to reach out and hold him, and he looks as insubstancial as a handful of shadows. I wonder if he'll simply slip away between my fingers like smoke or the dregs of a dream.

And I wonder why he hasn't jumped. I can see he wants to. His eyes have turned the rot-purple they turn when he hurts. I hope there's something holding him back. Fear? No, I hope it is *me* binding him here.

A sob shakes his shoulders. "Why do you have to make this so hard?" He sounds half-strangled and I wonder who he is talking to. Me? Himself?

"I love you," Another step forward. His eyes close as he struggles with his dilemma. He sways softly. It could go either way now. Another step. Don't let him open his eyes yet, *I'm so close...*

And then my arms are around him and I have him held tightly. He goes rigid with shock, trying to pull back, locked together above the void. A moment of resistance and I kiss him. His mouth tastes of tears and cool, clear water. I love him. I tighten my grip. If he has to fall, then I will fall with him. For a few seconds we stand there, on the verge of falling back through the darkness together. Then something gives way and he suddenly collapses into my arms holding on to me like a frightened child. I can feel something slightly warmer than rain against my shoulder. I always thought his tears would be as cold as liquid nitrogen and they'd freeze me to my heart as they touched me. I turn his face up. He looks drained still. Cold water running over the planes of his face, eyes huge and dark.

"If you really want to jump, I'm going to go with you," I tell him gently. My arms around him. He could unbalance us both now and he knows it. But he doesn't, he collapses into my embrace and although I know it will be a long way to recovery, he's safe now. Life isn't a fairy tale and one kiss can't cure it all. I'm not a hero. Blaise isn't purely the poor victim. He made some of his choices. But as I nuzzle into his rain scented hair and gently turn him away from the tower edge, he holds on to me like a drowning man. However hard it may be, we can make it.