Disclaimer: These characters are not mine, I am simply borrowing them to
do what I will with them.
This story has been modified from its original version to meet rating criteria.
Spoilers: Up to Crime and Punishment Rating: R Summary: Bosco and Faith attempt to rebuild their relationship following the events of Crime and Punishment 1&2
I wonder
There is something comforting about being married. Something comfortable about the security of having someone else in your life, the knowledge that you're never really alone.
I often wonder if this is how Faith feels, if this is the reason she stays with him. Don't get me wrong, I know she loves him, he is after all the father of her children, but I also know she longs for something more.
I wonder, (although fantasize would be a more accurate way of describing it), I wonder if Faith has ever considered me something more. I wonder if she's even though of me as anything other then her loud mouthed partner.
*****
It's been three weeks since my return to 55-david. Three weeks since I lied to Faith and three weeks since everything turned to shit.
For as long as I can remember I wanted to get into ESU. I thought I'd made it, me, Maurice Boscorelli, working anti-crime, life couldn't get any better. I had the opportunity to prove I could do something useful. Prove to myself, my father, my superiors, but most of all prove to Faith, that I wasn't useless, that I could be somebody.
I really should've known I'd manage to screw it all up somehow. I tend to do that a lot. Truth is, I'm not a very good judge of character. I've only known a few truly amazing people in my life, yet somehow, they're the ones I push away. The ones I'm drawn to are the screw-ups, first Hobert and now Cruz.
I'm lucky though, Cruz was dismissed and is looking at a possible conviction, me, all I got was a reprimand and a permanent return to writing parking tickets and directing traffic. I still think she got the better end of the deal though, everyday I have to face my failures. Everyday I sit next to the only woman I've ever cared about and feel more alone then ever before.
Faith and I really haven't spoken much in the last three weeks. I wonder how long it will take to rebuild our partnership. I wonder if we'll ever mend our friendship, and mostly I wonder if she'll ever know how much she means to me.
"You've been quite tonight, everything alright?"
I used to be annoyed when she worried. Tonight her concern makes me smile, something I haven't done in a while, three weeks to be exact.
"Fine"
I'm not sure why I can't tell her what's going through my head. Tell her I'm sorry, I wish I never left her, tell her I'll never leave again, beg her not to leave me, tell her how much I love her, but I can't, it's too soon for that, maybe it'll always be too soon.
"Boz.."
"What?"
"It's nothing.forget it."
"No, what?"
"I just wanted to say... I'm, . I'm glad you're back"
I stare at her; I wonder if I've heard her right.
"Thanks, I mean...
I don't know what I mean. I have no idea what to say to her so I smile. She takes this as confirmation that I understand.
The rest of the shift continues in silence. I'm already changed by the time she's done with the paper work. I'm ready to leave, but I haven't. I feel like I'm waiting for her, even though I have no idea why, or what I'll even say to her when she gets here. I realize I've missed this, sure anti-crime is exciting, but this, this is home.
"You're still here, I'd have thought you'd left by now."
It's a statement but I can hear the question in her voice. I look up at her and stare openly. She looks me in the eye until the intensity becomes too much and I'm forced to look away, stare at my shoes, like they're the most interesting thing in the world.
She moves to get changed. I can sense sadness in her, the slump of her shoulders, the tightness of her mouth. I wonder, not for the first time, if she'd ever let me be the one to erase that sadness from her life.
"You want to grab a drink"
I'm not even sure why I ask; I know she'll say no, she always does, but then again, I still always ask.
"Sure"
Her response catches me off guard and I find myself smiling again for the third time that night. She gathers her things and we make our way to my car. I know tonight won't be the night I confess everything to her, but it will be a start.
This story has been modified from its original version to meet rating criteria.
Spoilers: Up to Crime and Punishment Rating: R Summary: Bosco and Faith attempt to rebuild their relationship following the events of Crime and Punishment 1&2
I wonder
There is something comforting about being married. Something comfortable about the security of having someone else in your life, the knowledge that you're never really alone.
I often wonder if this is how Faith feels, if this is the reason she stays with him. Don't get me wrong, I know she loves him, he is after all the father of her children, but I also know she longs for something more.
I wonder, (although fantasize would be a more accurate way of describing it), I wonder if Faith has ever considered me something more. I wonder if she's even though of me as anything other then her loud mouthed partner.
*****
It's been three weeks since my return to 55-david. Three weeks since I lied to Faith and three weeks since everything turned to shit.
For as long as I can remember I wanted to get into ESU. I thought I'd made it, me, Maurice Boscorelli, working anti-crime, life couldn't get any better. I had the opportunity to prove I could do something useful. Prove to myself, my father, my superiors, but most of all prove to Faith, that I wasn't useless, that I could be somebody.
I really should've known I'd manage to screw it all up somehow. I tend to do that a lot. Truth is, I'm not a very good judge of character. I've only known a few truly amazing people in my life, yet somehow, they're the ones I push away. The ones I'm drawn to are the screw-ups, first Hobert and now Cruz.
I'm lucky though, Cruz was dismissed and is looking at a possible conviction, me, all I got was a reprimand and a permanent return to writing parking tickets and directing traffic. I still think she got the better end of the deal though, everyday I have to face my failures. Everyday I sit next to the only woman I've ever cared about and feel more alone then ever before.
Faith and I really haven't spoken much in the last three weeks. I wonder how long it will take to rebuild our partnership. I wonder if we'll ever mend our friendship, and mostly I wonder if she'll ever know how much she means to me.
"You've been quite tonight, everything alright?"
I used to be annoyed when she worried. Tonight her concern makes me smile, something I haven't done in a while, three weeks to be exact.
"Fine"
I'm not sure why I can't tell her what's going through my head. Tell her I'm sorry, I wish I never left her, tell her I'll never leave again, beg her not to leave me, tell her how much I love her, but I can't, it's too soon for that, maybe it'll always be too soon.
"Boz.."
"What?"
"It's nothing.forget it."
"No, what?"
"I just wanted to say... I'm, . I'm glad you're back"
I stare at her; I wonder if I've heard her right.
"Thanks, I mean...
I don't know what I mean. I have no idea what to say to her so I smile. She takes this as confirmation that I understand.
The rest of the shift continues in silence. I'm already changed by the time she's done with the paper work. I'm ready to leave, but I haven't. I feel like I'm waiting for her, even though I have no idea why, or what I'll even say to her when she gets here. I realize I've missed this, sure anti-crime is exciting, but this, this is home.
"You're still here, I'd have thought you'd left by now."
It's a statement but I can hear the question in her voice. I look up at her and stare openly. She looks me in the eye until the intensity becomes too much and I'm forced to look away, stare at my shoes, like they're the most interesting thing in the world.
She moves to get changed. I can sense sadness in her, the slump of her shoulders, the tightness of her mouth. I wonder, not for the first time, if she'd ever let me be the one to erase that sadness from her life.
"You want to grab a drink"
I'm not even sure why I ask; I know she'll say no, she always does, but then again, I still always ask.
"Sure"
Her response catches me off guard and I find myself smiling again for the third time that night. She gathers her things and we make our way to my car. I know tonight won't be the night I confess everything to her, but it will be a start.