Disclaimer: None of the characters in this belong to me with the exception of GhostJ, Wade and Tapestrry. All the others belong to their respective anime, manga or television studios.
Warning: Self-Insertion!! This is a fic about my friends and I, it's a riot but weird. Also language and innuendos so at least R, but no lemon. Yaoi and shonen-ai so be warned if you don't like it, don't read.
Notes: Now the fun starts. In case you get confused about who catches what bishies at the end of each fanfic will be an up-to-date list of all of them. Don't read it first or it'll spoil the fic. Also some bishies we couldn't decide who caught so they'll be group captured.
Gotta Catch Them All: Bishonen!!
What Do We Do Now?
By: GhostJ
Written in collaboration with: Wade and Tapestrry
When we last left our intrepid adventurers they had just embarked on their journey to capture all the bishies in the universe! As they travel into mystery what sinister forces will rise against them? Will they be able to overcome the obstacles that stop this from being a PWP?! You'll just have to wait and see.
"WHEEEEE!!"
"THUMP!!"
"Ow, Wade get off!"
"Her?! Why don't you both get off of me?! I can't breathe down here!!"
Wade and Tapes jump off of GJ and proceed to look around. They have landed in the middle of a field, which looks to be in the middle of nowhere. Far off in the distance they can see what appears to be a complex of buildings.
"Uh, GJ, where are we?"
"Hun?" GJ looks up from dusting herself off. "How should I know?"
Tapes sweatdrops and looks to Wade for support. Wade quickly decides to be very busy watching a bee.
"Ghost what do you mean, you don't know?! This was your idea! And what is this thing on my head?!"
"I believe that's a sweatdrop Tapes. I mean we are technically anime characters now."
"Oh," interjects Wade, after deciding that the conversation will be non-violent. "So that explains why you're not dead."
GJ replies by blowing her a raspberry, but continues. "And there really isn't a maping system for anime shows cause the geography changes rapidly. We can always buy a map here."
"So how are we gonna find the bishies?" Tapes wails, looking very upset.
"S'ok Tapes, we use these." From nowhere GJ pulls out two wrist bands; one in green and one in purple.
"And those are?" Tapes looks at them warily.
"Sorta like onboard computers. See I have one." GJ points to the black band on her wrist.
"I set the teleporter to take us to the most interesting place in the anime, since I figured most bishies would be there. It's the only way I could set it up. So I designed these. Here put them on."
GJ hands the purple one to Wade and the Green on to Tapes.
"Where did you pull these from anyway Ghosty?" Wade asks as she snaps the band on.
"Hammerspace. That's another feature I installed on them."
"Fuck!!" Tapes shouts the band now firmly on her wrist. "What was that shock?!"
"Oh don't worry about it, Tapes." GJ says as she starts to step away from her as she is radiating red. "It was just establishing a direct synapse connection."
"Oh that's all." Tapes says dangerously.
"It's better this way." GJ cringes automatically as Tapes approaches her. Wade sits down to watch the fun. "Wait let me explain."
"You got two minutes."
"Ok picture the bishie you want in you mind."
"Why? Oh that's awesome! I know where he is." GJ sighs with relief as Tapes turns to look toward the distant complex.
"See, it's much easier this way."
"Don't get too smug GJ. Are there any side effects?"
"Ummm, sore wa hitmitsu desu!!" GJ manages to say before Tapes pulls out a giant mallet and whacks her.
"Ne Tapes. Where'd you get that?" Wade approaches, ignoring GJ lying on the ground.
"Doesn't any care about me?" GJ moans and attempts to stand.
"We might if you had warned us about this Ghosty." Wade replies to her whining. "Now explain."
GJ stands up and begins dusting herself off again. "You remember I mentioned hammerspace right?"
Nod
"Well since we don't naturally have it, the computer establishes it. Kinda like the bishie tracker. Just think of what you want and if it's in there, it'll appear."
"GJ," Wade says admiringly. "This is your coolest invention yet, although that doesn't say much."
"I hate you and it's got an inventory too."
"So," Tapes has cooled down and gotten rid of the mallet. "What do we do now?"
"Well we don't have transportation, so I guess we walk?" Suggests Wade. "We should go after the closest bishie."
"Yah and make him take us to the others!!" GJ laughs.
"Ok then, Trowa and Quatre are off that way, pretty far though." Wade says pointing away from the complex.
"Yah, Duo and Wufie are that way too. Yours Tapes?"
"Well," She says considering. "Heero's over there too. But Zechs is right over there. It feels like a half hour walk." She points directly to the buildings.
"Perfect." GJ says happily as she starts skipping off. "I'm so glad this is working, I didn't think it would."
"GJ you aren't helping." Wade says as she sticks her tongue out. She and Tapes follow GJ towards the buildings. "Let's go!"
_______________________________
"Shit. Tapes why did we have to go after the bishie that lives in a high security military base?!"
"Well we wouldn't have had to, if you and GJ weren't so against walking a little."
"It wasn't a little. And both of you shut up or they'll notice us. Man, why does it have to be so bloody dark in here?"
The group had just broken into the complex of buildings, which had understandably turned out to be an OZ military base. They are now sneaking through the numerous warehouses trying to locate a door to the offices area without much luck.
"Thunk!"
"Itai!!" Tapes yells as she rubs her knee.
"Shhhh!!"
"What was that noise?" The lights flash on revealing a security team of three people. "Is it the Gundam Pilots?"
"Tapestrry o kurosu." GJ mutters as she pulls something off her back.
"What's that Ghosty?" Wade whispers, holding her hand over Tapes' mouth as she continues to swear.
"Well I believe in catching humanly, so-"
"Twang."
GJ pulls the trigger on her crossbow and the dart narrowly misses the first guard, but it manages to hit the second one. "Fuck. Should'a practiced more." She cocks another dart and fires a second and third time. "Score!"
"What now?" Wade asks.
"Well they should-"
"Thunk, thunk, thunk."
"Fall down." GJ finishes, smiling as she walks over to the now slumbering guards.
"Tranqs." Wade nods, removing her hand from Tapes' mouth. "Don't be such a baby Tapes."
Tapes sticks her tongue out Wade and turns to GJ is now removing the hats and jackets from the guards.
"GJ I don't get it, what do sleep darts have to do with catching bishies?"
"Hun?" GJ looks up from her work. "Damn, I forgot you didn't do Pokemon. Put these on while I explain." She passes Wade and Tapes a jacket and a hat each.
"The bishie-balls wok on the same principle as the pokeballs. In order for them to work the bishie must be either incapacitated or beaten to a pulp. Else they might be able to escape from the balls."
"Oh," Tapes looks pensive for a second, then smiles evilly. "Fun."
"GJ are you sure that these are gonna get us past the guards?" Wade asks pulling on the guard's jacket.
"Don't you watch anime, Wade?" Tapes responds cutting of GJ. "The guards never notice people, who are dressed slightly like them."
"She's right Wade. Besides we only need to find out where Zechs is and get there. No prob." GJ says as she moves toward the doorway that the guards came from.
"Yah, that sounds easy." Wade mutters sarcastically, as she follows Tapes and GJ through the door.
The door leads to a hallway with numerous doors all along its length.
"So now where to?"
"He's that way." Tapes states, pointing towards the far end of the hallway.
They walk to the end where they are confronted by a solid metal door.
"So how do we get through?" Wade asks. "My feet hurt."
"We could ummm," GJ stands tapping her foot on the floor.
"He's mine I'll do it." Tapes walks up to the door.
"Do what?" Wade and GJ ask in unison.
"Knock." Which she does.
Wade and GJ look astonished as the door slowly opens revealing a young woman in a horrendous tailed suit.
"I'm afraid you have the wrong door." Hilde states coldly. "These are Zechs-sama's personally quarters."
"Then I'm positive we have the right door." Tapes states as she pulls out her mallet and boinks Hilde on the head rendering her unconscious. "Now for the bishie." And she walks into the room.
GJ and Wade exchange startled glances before entering the room themselves, carefully steeping over Hilde's body.
"I hope she doesn't do that to her bishies." GJ says shaking her head.
"Why not?" Wade asks startled. "It seems like a good idea to me."
"Arrgh!!" They both look up and walk toward the strangled yell. "Who--are---you?"
As they enter the next room, they look down to see Tapes huggiling a now unconscious partially clothed Zechs.
"Now that's different." GJ says as Tapes stands up.
"Yah, I never would have thought of glomping a bishie to knock him out. She must have gotten him leaving the shower." Wade agrees. "So catch him, before he wakes up Tapes."
"Un hun." Tapes giggles happily. "Bishie-ball go!!"
The green bishie-ball hits the sprawled Zechs on the chest and he is zapped into it.
"1,2,3..." Tapes counts as the ball rocks on the floor. Finally it stops and flies back to her. "YAH!! I caught Zechs!!" She shouts and starts dancing around.
"Awesome Tapes." "Way to go, girl." Wade and GJ congratulate her.
"Umm, but you should probably get him out now."
"Hmm, but I just caught him GJ." Tapes says looking at GJ.
"Yah but in a few seconds Hilde is gonna wake up and I don't relish the idea of breaking out of here once she reports us."
"Oh good point. Come out, Zechs." Tapes points the bishie ball in front of her and Zechs zaps out from it.
"That was weird." He says as he straightens his bathrobe. "What happened?"
From the other room the girls become aware of Hilde waking up. GJ and Wade go to deal with her.
"Oy, Tapes you explain to your bishie. Wade an' I 'll hold up Hilde."
"Hehe, my bishie." Tapes giggles evilly, not taking her eyes off of Zechs.
"Meep!"
_______________________
"So how did it go?" GJ asks as Tapes enters the work room. She doesn't look away from Hilde, nor lower her crossbow.
"He took it well, he'll pick us up some transportation."
"I thought so," Wade says smugly as she rifles though the cabinets. "I figured that having something like a bishie-ball would make them more co-operative. So he's driving?"
"Yep. So who are we going after next?" Tapes asks sitting in a free chair.
"Well," GJ starts. "That was pretty easy when you think about it, but the ones we're going after from now on are hardened fighters."
"So you're saying it might be harder? Give me a sec." Wade looks off into the distance, as she checks her tracker. "Trowa and Quatre are in different areas so I guess they split up."
"Yah, same here." GJ says. "I suggest we go after another easy target. In other words the one pilot who won't fight back."
"Who?" The girls turn towards the bathroom as Zechs emerges, now fully clothed. "And if I may ask who are you?"
"GhostJ" GJ answers, looking him up and down. "Tapes, what's with you and long hair?"
"Wade over here." Wade replies smiling, as Zechs moves unconsciously to stand besides Tapes. "We're the other bishie catchers."
"As I was saying," GJ cuts in. "I think we should go after Wufei."
"Wufei?" Zechs asks happily. "You're catching him too?"
"Of course." GJ smiles, "I'm glad to note that he'll have caring company. Anyway he won't fight girls, so..."
"Heh, easy catch." Wade agrees. "I guess I can wait a bit." She concedes sadly. "Tapes?"
"Fine by me. I got one already." Tapes turns to Zechs and glomps onto him. "Let's get 'm!"
_____________________________________
"Target in sight, GJ. Are you sure this plan is going to work?"
"Of course Wade. I made it afterall."
The girls are camped out around what appears to be the latest safe house of the GW pilots.
Wade is sitting in the bushes, Tapes is in the commandeered car with Zechs and GJ is standing in a tree. All have their eyes glued on the young black haired boy sitting meditating in the backyard.
"Well I don't understand it," Zechs complains to Tapes.
"Tell your bishie to be quiet Tapes! I'm basically right above him and the com system on these bands is pretty loud." GJ mutters speaking into her own band.
"Gomen GJ. He'll be quiet now. You know I think he's afraid of you." Tapes says, as Zechs tries to be inconspicuous.
"Why?"
"Well," interjects Wade from the bushes. "It could be since you said that if he gives away your position, he'd be able to pass as GI Jane in all respects. He he he, I'm not sure what he's more concerned about; losing his hair or his manhood. Just remember not to do anything that would alert Quatre to our presence. He's here and he's mine."
"Yes, Wade, don't worry." GJ shushes everyone over the link. "He's coming out of the trance now. It's party time."
From within the tree, GJ lets five papers drop to the ground directly in front of Wufei.
"Hun? What are these?" The young pilot picks them up and starts reading.
"Target has taken the bait." GJ broadcasts to the others from up in the tree. Wade looks up to see her smiling evilly.
"Yo Tapes. We keep on talking about this plan. Did Ghosty ever tell us it?" Wade asks quietly, hoping that GJ won't notice.
"Now that you mention it, no she didn't." Tapes looks out the window, with dismay.
"Zechs-kun, you might want to put it into drive."
"Hun? Why?"
"Well occasionally GJ has been known to go overboard. And she has a very weird sense of humour, take this fanfic for example."
"It's working." GJ announces over the bands as she looks down to see Wufei turning a very bright shade of red. "Just a wee bit more."
As he continues reading blood suddenly shoots from his nose and he falls into a dead faint.
"Yah it worked!!" GJ cries as she swings down from the tree. "Bishie-ball go!!"
She throws the ball at Wufei, who is immediately zapped into it. The ball shakes once and then flies back into GJ's hands. "Woohoo!! I caught Wufei!!" She states and goes into the classic Pokemon stance, peace sign and all.
"Excellent Ghosty! Now what?" Wade asks walking over to her from the bushes. She stops and picks up the papers that are strewn across the ground. "And what are these anyway?"
"Hehe, well I guess we should go after Quatre, since you still have to catch one. And those, those are the pages to one of the best fanfics ever written."
"GJ you didn't!" Tapes shrieks with laughter.
Zechs looks at her questioningly as he parks the car and they exit to join the others.
"Well you see GJ has a tendency to read interesting fanfics."
"No worse than you Tapes. But yah you're right." GJ says smiling happily. "You'd probably appreciate it Zechs." She continues once they meet up.
Wade's about halfway through the fanfic and she is turning bright red and starts coughing.
"Oh come on, it's not that bad! And if you faint who's going to catch Quatre."
"Hehe." Wade giggles as they enter the house through the back doors. "Wait let Wufei out first."
GJ shrugs and complies. Wufei zaps out of his ball, to stand infront of the group.
"Onna! What did you do to me?" He demands.
"First off, the name's GhostJ. Use it. Second, I caught you. You're now my bishie. Hey Zechs." She turns towards the platinum haired man who is rifling through the fanfic with a small smile on his face. "Would you mind filling Wufei in on what's going on? We'd better go and catch Quatre before the others show up."
"Not at all, Ghost." Zechs replies looking at Wufei predatorily. "I would enjoy, how did you say? Filling Wufei in." Wufei begins to blush furiously.
"Ok then, just be ready to go when we need to. Wade lead the way."
And with that the girls leave their bishies and enter the house.
"So Wade," Tapes starts as they walk down the hallways. "How are you gonna catch Quatre?"
"Hehe, sore wa hitmitsu desu!" She replies, with her finger to her lips.
"That's my line Wade!!" GJ yells.
Wade sticks her tongue out and continues to walk. "Come on, this way."
________________________________________
"Look there he is." Wade motions for the others to stop as they enter the library. "Go get'm Wade." GJ winks at her and leans against the doorframe.
"Heheh," Wade laughs evilly as she enters the room.
"What?" Quatre looks up from his reading to notice Wade. "Who are you? How did you get past Wufei?"
"'m Wade, Wu-chan let us in. Now get in the ball." At which point she whips it at him and he is zapped into it.
The ball begins to roll on the ground as he tried to free himself, so Wade walks over and picks it up.
"Quatre stop that this instant! Be good and stay in the ball."
"Man, she sounds like a school teacher." Tapes whispers to GJ.
"Wrong, she sounds like an older sister." GJ smiles. "I get her plan now, he's got 29 older sisters right. He's probably damn used to taking orders from women who act like that."
"Exactly, Ghosty." Wade walks over to them holding her new bishie-ball. "It worked so well and it was much less messy than smacking him over the head."
"You wouldn't!"
"Why not? It's efficient." Wade smiles evilly. "Come on out, Quatre."
Quatre appears beside her looking very disheveled.
"Hun what happened?" He turns to Wade and blinks a bit. "You're Wade right? I thought I heard one of my sisters." He shakes his head. "What's going on?"
"Well-" Wade starts but is cut off by Tapes.
"Here. Read this." She says, handing him a brochure with the title 'So You're a Bishie and You've Been Caught.' "This will explain everything."
Tapes looks at Wade and GJ who are staring at her shocked.
"Well it would take too long to explain to everyone we catch so the brochure does it for us."
"When did you find the time?" GJ asks admiringly. "Its full colour and everything."
"When Zechs was driving an' you and Wade were playing paper-scissors-rock for Goku-chan."
"Oh yah," Wade says, turning around to look at Quatre. "Well... Quatre, you got any questions?"
"No, Wade-nee-chan."
At this point both GJ and Tapes fall over rolling with laughter on the floor.
"It seems your plan worked too well, Wade."
"Oh shut it, GJ. Well then Quatre-kun," Wade walks over to Quatre and puts her arm over his shoulders as Tapes and GJ pick themselves up and wipe away their tears of laughter.
"This is Ghosty-oka-san and Tape-nee-chan and where can we stay for the night?"
"Good idea Wade." Tapes adds, restraining GJ. "It's getting late and we've got a full day of hunting ahead of us tomorrow. Should we tell Zechs and Wufei?"
"You caught them as well?" Quatre asks.
"Of course. But I don't think we should bother them." Wade answers.
"Here I'll show where you can sleep." Quatre says and leads them out of the library.
Who's Caught Whom
GhostJ(Black) - Wufei
Tapestrry(Green) - Zechs
Wade(Purple) - Quatre
Group(Silver) - None
What did you think? Tell me! Write a review or email @ ghostj@webminded.ca