As the soft tones of conversation between Rafe and Evelyn's younger children and their grandparents drifted into the parlor from the kitchen, they tried to explain to their eldest son how he came to be.
Neither knew exactly how to begin and they looked at each other before Rafe finally took a deep breath and started. "I know you're upset with us Danny and I won't tell you that you shouldn't be. But your mama and I were goin' to tell you when you were older."
For the first time in a week Danny McCawley looked at his father. "I don't understand any of this Daddy."
Rafe looked at Evelyn as he tried to decide how to tell his son about everything. Danny had always been devoted to his mother and he didn't want what had happened between Evelyn and Danny's father to change the way the boy felt about her.
He knew he needed to choose his words carefully and didn't quite know how. So instead, picked up the photo album from their time in New York and began to tell Danny about it all. "I told your mama that I'd volunteered to go to England the night before I shipped out and didn't give her much of a chance to get used to it."
Evelyn added. "I was so afraid for your dad because the time we'd had together was so short and I had already fallen in love with him."
Danny frowned. "Then how could you do what you did, with him?" He asked in reference to Danny Walker.
Evelyn flushed with embarrassment. It was a question she'd asked herself many times but it was also something that had happened and there was nothing she could do to change it. "Your dad had been shot down and we got word that he hadn't been found. I was devastated and wondered what I was going to do without him. Danny was your dad's best friend and my being able to spend time with him helped me feel closer to your dad."
Danny frowned. "Did you love him?" He asked.
She looked at Rafe. He knew the truth, but she didn't know if Danny would understand. She and Rafe had always been truthful with their children, however, so Evelyn nodded before she sighed. "I did love him Danny, but not in the way I love your dad."
"I don't understand. You loved Daddy, but..." He couldn't seem to voice his troubled thoughts.
Evelyn was at a loss for words herself because she didn't know what to tell her son. "Danny..." Was all she could manage before she sighed.
Rafe saw her struggle with what she wanted to say and looked at his son. "Danny, your mama thought I wasn't comin' home and she was tryin' to move ahead with her life. They didn't plan on what happened, but because of that we got you."
"But if Mama loved you so much, then why?"
He remembered when he'd had those very same questions and understood his son's confusion. "Evelyn, Danny's old enough now that we should just tell him what happened."
"Rafe, I can't." She said quietly as two tears rolled down her cheeks. She had loved Danny, but she had never been in love with him and what had happened between them should never had happened. But it always came back to her that if they hadn't, she and Rafe wouldn't have their son.
He nodded. It had been one thing for Evelyn to tell him, but to explain it to her son was a completely different matter. It came back to Rafe again to choose his words carefully and to make a long story short. "Your mama started to tell you about how bein' with Danny helped her feel close to me."
Danny nodded.
"She didn't know I was comin' back and wanted to write to your grandparents. So she went to the airbase to get the address from him. He asked if she wanted to go flyin' and when they got back things got a little out of hand and you were the result." He hoped it didn't sound too bad.
Danny didn't seem to know what to make of it and sat quietly between his parents. "Did he know about me?"
"Yea, he did. Mama asked me not to tell him so we could concentrate on the mission but when I thought he might not make it, I told him. I hoped it would be enough for him to live even though he knew it wasn't goin' to make it. He was dyin' and told me that I was goin' to be your father."
They had tried to be circumspect in how they told him but it seemed to be too much for Danny. He got up from the sofa and looked at Evelyn. "How could you do that to him?" He asked her as the tears welled up in his eyes and looked at Rafe. "I'm sorry Daddy."
Evelyn could hear Danny try to hold the tears back as he headed up the stairs and when he turned the corner at the top, she fell apart. Rafe put his arms around her and tried to soothe her the way he always had when she'd been upset, but Evelyn was inconsolable. She knew the day would come when Danny would have to be told, but she'd never thought about what they would tell him. That feeling from all those years ago surfaced, the feeling that she'd been unfaithful to Rafe and it hit her like a broadside.
Rafe looked up to see his two younger children in the doorway. They had never seen their mother cry and it was something he didn't want them to see. Thomas had come up behind them and with a look from his son, he nodded.
"Come on kids, let's go outside and leave your mama and daddy alone."
"Why is Mama cryin'? Joseph asked his grandfather.
"We'll talk about it son, but let's go outside now." And he turned his grandson around and ushered him out the kitchen side door. Sarah followed him out with her namesake and Rafe and Evelyn were alone.
"Honey, we knew this wouldn't be easy but he needed to know." Rafe whispered into her hair.
Evelyn nodded. "It just brought back all those questions you had and I didn't know how to answer them then."
He sighed. "He'll be all right Evelyn because he knows that we love him."
She sat up and sighed. "I know Rafe, but it's not that. It's that awful feeling that I had for such a long time that I'd been untrue to you."
He took her hands. "I love you Evelyn and every day that we've been married I love you even more. What happened between you and Danny is somethin' we can't change and I have never been angry that Danny don't have my blood. I do wish it had been us that made him, but we've raised him together since the day he was born so that makes him mine."
"He should have been yours because it should have been the two of us that made him." And the tears came again.
For Rafe it was as though he and Evelyn had traveled back to that evening on the beach sixteen years ago when he'd returned from China. Her grief was as fresh as it had been then and it helped him realize that they had done a good job. They had put her guilt and his anger about the situation to rest and had raised Danny as their son.
He had pulled her to him again and began to rub her back. "You know as well as I do that we can't go back and change it, but we agreed then that we would stop lookin' back and start lookin' forward. That's what we have to do again, now that Danny knows the truth."
"You make it sound so simple." She pulled away and looked at him with red rimmed eyes.
"I know it ain't simple Evelyn. But we've built a good life for ourselves and none of our children have ever had any doubts how much we love them."
"I feel like we're going to have to start all over again. We got so used to thinking of Danny as really yours and forgetting how he came to be and now we don't have that anymore."
"That's true, but we don't have that secret hangin' over our heads anymore either." He reasoned.
Evelyn hadn't thought of that and she sighed. "When you put it that way..." Her voice trailed off.
"You're right about havin' to start over Evelyn, but now we can be a family with no secrets. Danny knows the truth about where he came from and he'll adjust because he knows that I love him as my own son."
"I've never thanked you for that."
"Yes you have. You've thanked me by lovin' me and lovin' Danny and givin' me two more children. I am a man blessed Evelyn and it's because of you that I have what I do." And he kissed her.
"I do love you Rafe and I am so glad to be sharing my life and my son with you." And she kissed him back.
"Our son." He corrected her with a grin.
She smiled back. "Our son."
He put his arms around her. "It's goin' to be all right honey, you'll see."
"I hope so Rafe, I really hope so."