Disclaimer: I'm not J.K. Rowling.
Rating: PG-13 for this chapter.
Pairing: HP/SS
Author's Note: Yep, I'm bad. I know I was supposed to get this out much earlier than this. I'm sorry. I better not make any more empty promises anymore. Okay, enough of crapping. Chapter 4…I'll start off with light humor (hopefully). Next would be Harry telling Sev what happened to him at the Dursleys'. Finally, Sev would ponder about his feelings for Harry. Slight angst in this chappie.
The Red Dragons Order: Thanks! ^_^
Cliffe: My chapters keep you hanging? I'm flattered. J Thanks!
SnapesMistress2002: Well, I can only hope that their soft side is not too extreme. And a big thank you for reviewing chapters 2 and 3!!
Silvermoon: Well…here it is… ::Grins::
Frankie the Wonder Wiener Dog: hmm…Sev's hand…Yep, it got healed alright. Thanks for pointing this out to me, I didn't realize that I missed it out. However, I did mention it at the end of chapter 2. Secondly, Sev did not have the chance to talk to Harry about him being raped 'cause the boy had always shyed away from the topic. Lastly, Sev did not apparate back to Hogwarts; it's just that I didn't elaborate on the point. Sorry about that! Thanks a lot for pointing out all my errors and reviewing chapters 2 and 3, I'll make sure that I put in some stuff about Sev's hand. Thanks again!
Last warning: If you are homophobic or this pairing simply irks you, the back button is there for a purpose!
Right Perfection Wrongly Disgraced
By izean
"What the hell was that about?"
~*~*~*~
Chapter 4
(1 week later)
Severus sat down at his desk, sweating slightly after his exercise. He flexed his right arm, moving it to make sure that it wasn't stiff. He had to admit that Poppy Pomfrey did a fantastic job on fixing his arm; he felt as though his arm had not been broken at all. He stretched again and yawned. Looking at the pile of parchment on his table, he sighed. 'Nope, it wouldn't do any good to go and sleep now. Better do it now than to procrastinate,' he thought to himself.
He poured himself a glass of scotch and relaxed against his comfortable high-back chair. He hadn't felt so comfortable in his room for quite some time now. He didn't think that it would be proper to wear only boxers when there was a student staying with him. He sipped his scotch contently. It was a long time since he indulged in scotch too.
His eyes roved over his familiar room. It wasn't surprising that he felt completely at ease in the dungeons. He spent most of his life staying in them; the rest of his childhood was spent in Snape Manor but that wasn't a place that he would like to be reminded of. Black eyes rested on the book that was still on the armchair, exactly where Harry left it. He never took it away after Harry told him not to but now he thought that he should put it back since the young man did not seem to be coming back.
Speaking of Harry…where in the world was that boy? The only times that Severus saw the young man was during lessons and meals, now that Harry no longer came to talk to him. He realized that his rooms are so much quieter without Harry's incessant chatter and laughter. With a start, he found that he was missing the young man. As he berated himself for being so silly, he pulled out a stack of parchment and started to mark them.
~*~*~*~
Harry made his way down the familiar path to the Potions Master's rooms, invisible under his father's old cloak. He had decided earlier that he should tell Severus what had actually happened to him during his holidays. He could tell that the man was genuinely concerned about him. 'Well, he deserves to know what did the Dursleys' do to me, after all that he has done for me,' thought Harry.
He stopped outside the concealed door and raised his hand to knock. There was no response. He frowned slightly. Was Severus already in bed? Harry shook his head and proceeded to knock again. There was still no response. He ran a hand through his messy hair. Should he do it? Yes, why not? If Severus was sleeping, he'll just go back to his dorm; if he's not, at most he'll be reprimanded. He nodded to himself and muttered the password ("nightshade!") and went into the room.
He stepped through the door and closed it behind him, removing the invisibility cloak and draping it on his arm. He waited for an acerbic remark from his professor but surprisingly, none came his way. Astonished, he looked around the living room and saw that Severus was sitting at his table, marking. His eyes widened at the sight before him. Was the man naked?! He couldn't be sure since the table was blocking his view.
But really, Severus had a great body, one that no one would expect of him. From his position, Harry could see that Severus probably exercised regularly; there wasn't an extra ounce of fat on any part of the long, lightly muscled body, or at least the parts that Harry could see. The boy watched the thin lips move as Severus read out what the student wrote. And then cancelled out a big part of it.
The Potions Master brought the glass of scotch to his mouth and sipped before putting it down and resting his head in his left hand, unknowingly revealing the Dark Mark to Harry. The latter stared at it, wondering how it would feel like. Would it feel like normal skin or like a scar, forever branded into the skin of any Death Eater?
Harry pulled his robes closer to his body; he could never stand the temperature in the dungeons. He wondered how could Severus sit at his table marking calmly when he was possibly naked. He sniffed and then sneezed, forgetting momentarily the fact that his professor did not know that he was in the room.
Severus' head snapped up from his marking, a totally shocked look on his face. The man stared at Harry for several moments before running back to his room. Harry doubled over with laughter and then paused to ogle Severus' arse before laughing again. 'So he wasn't naked,' Harry thought, amused. Severus emerged from his room three minutes later, fully dressed in black jeans and black shirt.
Stifling his laughter, Harry said, "You look great in black, Severus. Especially black silk." Glower. Harry started laughing again. "And you should see that look on your face when I sneezed. It was priceless." Clutching his side, Harry continued laughingly, "Gods…that was fun. I wish I brought a camera." Severus folded his arms across his chest and glared at Harry. "Harry James Potter, if any word of this gets out of this room…"
Harry held his hands up in defense and declared in a mock-serious tone. "I'll make sure that I get Draco to present you my head on a silver platter ok? Do you want an apple in my mouth?" Harry grinned at the older man. Severus rolled his eyes and stated flatly, "Not funny." Silly grin still in place, Harry muttered just loud enough to let the professor hear. "Where on earth has his imperceptibly dry sense of humor gone to?"
Glare. "I choose to ignore that remark. And what are you doing here at…" he halted to look at the clock, "11 p.m.? Don't you know that it's after curfew?" Harry gave a slight nod. "I came to talk to you, of course." Grinning cheekily, he continued, "I missed you, you know?" Severus released a long-suffering sigh. Shaking his head slightly, he said, "I'm so going to miss my sleep again."
Harry cast a somewhat worried gaze at Severus. "Are you tired? I'll come back tomorrow then." The older man found himself wanting Harry to stay. "No! Er…I mean no, I'm not tired. I was just kidding you. Go make yourself comfortable." Harry made his way to the couch and plopped down on it. He took his wand out, pointed to the fireplace and muttered "incendio!". The room was warm almost immediately.
Severus walked in the opposite direction, towards his table. He had dropped a quill on the parchment he was marking when Harry startled him. He contemplated throwing away Crabbe's blotched parchment since it was so full of rubbish but then decided against it. He kept his quill and got rid of the smudge with a flick of his wrist.
He walked to the couch and sat down beside Harry. Turning to face the young man, he asked, "So what was it you wanted to talk to me about?" Harry stared into the fire, its light casting shadows on his face. "Although you never actually asked me about it, I could tell that you wanted to know what happened at the Dursleys', right?" Hiding his surprise just in time, Severus answered with a question, "How did you know?"
Harry shrugged. "Don't ask me. I don't think that you'll believe me if I said that I know you well enough." A ghost of a smile flitted across Severus' sharp features. "And I believe that if anyone told me that Harry Potter would be my friend two years ago, I would send them to St. Mungo straight away. And yes, care to tell me about it?"
Harry nodded, a small smile on his face. "Of course. That's why I'm here at this time of the night and disturbing your beauty sleep." Severus cast heavenward glances and gestured for Harry to continue. The latter tapped his chin thoughtfully and turned back to face the Potions Master. "Where should I start then?" Looking at the young man before him levelly, Severus replied, "I reckon that the beginning is the best place to start."
Harry smirked at his professor. "You sound like Dumbledore when you say that." Severus narrowed ebony eyes at his student. "Professor Dumbledore to you." Harry let out a laugh. "See, I told you that you sound like him." Severus scowled. "Can you begin now?" Harry smiled and said, "Ok ok, I'm sorry."
Resting against the couch, Harry stared into the fire again as he began. "When I was much younger, I always thought that Vernon and Aunt Petunia were my parents. I never understood why I had to do all kinds of housework but Dudley did not even have to wash the plate that he used. The first time I got beaten up was when I was four. That was when I called Vernon 'dad'. He backhanded me and said 'Don't ever call me that. Your freak parents died in a car accident. Go make yourself useful now, you bloody ingrate, and get out of my sight'."
"Don't you uncle just love you," Severus commented dryly. Harry gave a sudden laugh that was just as mirthless as he intended for it to be. "Yes, I agree with you. But that was the only time I got beaten up when I was young. All they did was to treat me like a maid, give me insufficient food and force me to sleep in the cupboard every night. I later found out that they did all those so that they could stomp the magic out of me." Severus stared at Harry, enraged at what the Dursleys' did to such a kind, altruistic young man. But still he refrained from speaking, as he did not wish to interrupt Harry. It took courage to talk about a bad childhood and he admired Harry for it.
"I only got Dudley's second bedroom because they received a letter from Hogwarts. I think they were probably scared that if they don't give me a bedroom, you guys would hex them. All of them feared magic and they talked to me only to give me the chores of the day. I was treated as though I don't exist during other times. I didn't mind being ignored; after all I was used to it. Just as long as they did not beat me up."
"But this year," Harry's face darkened and Severus felt someone lean against him. He stiffened before relaxing, realizing that it was Harry. The young man took a deep breath before continuing. "Grunnings, Vernon's company, closed down this year. Vernon became a drunkard since he had nothing to do. He didn't have to work since he had quite some savings. But still, he put all the blame on me, saying things like I can only blame myself if we starve."
Harry stole a look at Severus before plowing on. "I believe you saw the bloodstains on the bed right?" At Severus' affirmative nod, Harry went on. "That was the first day when I went back to them. The bloody drunk beat me up so badly that I coughed out blood on the bed. Seeing that, he only became angrier and used his belt. From then on I became his personal punching bag. If Aunt Petunia did not sneak me some food everyday, I would probably be dead."
"Ah yes. Did I mention that one day he became so sadistic that he fucked me. On the very same bed where he beat me up. I think he enjoyed it since he did it at least once a day. I was a virgin, dammit!" At that, Harry sagged against Severus and closed his eyes. "I'm just glad that I don't have to go back there anymore." Severus looked into Harry's face and said so softly that the young man almost missed it. "Me too."
Harry's eyes sprang open. "What?" Still looking at Harry, Severus replied, "I said that I'm glad you don't have to stay with them anymore." The green eyes fell shut again. "Thanks again for helping me." Severus shook his head slightly and rested lightly against Harry. "You're welcome." The two of them fell into a comfortable, companionable silence.
Random thoughts was on a rampage in Severus' mind, mostly about what he just heard from Harry and all the unpleasant things he did to Harry throughout the last six years when the boy was in Hogwarts. "Harry…I er…I'm sorry about all those things that I did to you in the past few years, honestly I don't mean it. I had to act as though I hated you to keep up with the pretense of being a Death Eater and also so that your head wouldn't swell. I know that…" Severus trailed off and then stopped.
He frowned as he looked at Harry who was lying against his shoulder, sleeping peacefully. He sighed, more than a little relieved. At least Harry did not hear anything that Severus did not want him to hear. The professor rested his cheek against Harry's soft black hair and closed his eyes. Perhaps he could get some sleep since he could not move for waking Harry. He nodded mentally. Yes…he'll do just that…
~*~*~*~
Harry opened his eyes slowly; he had fallen into a light doze. He thought that he heard someone talk to him but he chose to ignore the voice and continue sleeping. He never knew that it would feel so good to tell someone he trusted about what happened during the holidays. If he knew that he probably would have told Severus earlier. Or maybe not. He had given it much thought before going to see his Potions Master.
He looked at the glowing embers of the dying fire and sighed, feeling totally at peace. He tensed as the comfortable weight on his head shifted and muttered something incoherent. Realizing that it was Severus, he took a deep, calming breath and forced himself to unwind. His eyes flicked to the mantel clock and took note of the time. 2 a.m. He had better go back to his room now…but what to do with Severus?
Adjusting slightly, he removed his arm from behind him. Using his hand to support Severus' head, Harry carefully helped the sleeping man to lie on his back. Harry went into Severus' room to get the duvet and then draped it over him. The teenager bent over and planted a kiss on Severus' forehead.
"Don't you know why I know that I'm gay? That's because I'm attracted to you, or rather, strongly attracted to you. Not the type of 'I'm-horny-and-I-wanna-have-sex-with-you' attraction but as in I really like you or even love you. I know that it's not possible to have a relationship but well, I just want to let you know that and thanks for being there for me." Harry said quietly, praying that Severus did not hear what he said. 'But if he is awake, he wouldn't have kept quiet right?' Harry reflected.
Harry quickly scribbled a note on a spare piece of parchment that he found before leaving it on the table in front of the fireplace. Harry pulled the invisibility cloak over his head and then walked out of his room, back to his own dorm. Severus' eyes snapped open. He had been awake since Harry himself woke up and had heard everything that the latter said.
He squeezed the bridge of his nose wearily. Harry actually liked him more than like a friend? How was that possible? That idea alone was ridiculous, or rather, preposterous. Harry Potter liking a greasy bastard like him? That must be the biggest joke of the year…just that it wasn't funny. Was he attracted to Harry? No! Obviously not. But then again, he wasn't sure. At times, he found himself paying special attention to Harry; even more attention than he gave to Draco.
But wasn't he only attracted to females? Yes of course. 'But hey,' a little voice in his head said, 'when was the last time you actually found yourself looking at a female?' He growled in frustration as he turned to lie on his side. First he was thinking about his sexual orientation and then now he is hearing voices in his head. He snorted as he rested his forehead against the leather of his couch. Sexual orientation…he's actually considering it at his age? Man, he sounded just like a teenager.
'Oh well,' he thought as he brought his duvet back into his room, 'since I can't get anymore sleep tonight, I might as well finish up my marking.' He sighed as he picked up a quill and continued to mark Crabbe's essay again.
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Author's Note: All right, I've finally finished it. This chapter was bitch to write but I really hope that you will enjoy it. Sorry once again for taking so long. Oh yes, can you guys tell me some stuff about Petunia Dursley? Like the colour of her eyes and the like. Thanks loads. Please review!!