Disclaimer: (I suspect everyone skips this) I'm gonna say this once
and only ONCE!!!
I OWN INUYASHA... Hang on, that doesn't seem right... Oh yeah, I forgot to plus a 'do not'.
^_~ well you get the idea.
AN: So sorry about the title. But my first language is not English. It's Chinese. Anyway I've listened to Carrot fangirl's advice and changed the title. Leave a review to tell me that someone actually read my poor little fic!!
"What are you thinking about?" Kikyo rubbed his soft canine ear. Inuyasha shifted his head away from her hand, he does not like Kikyo touching his ears. It reminds him of Kagome. He was lying on Kikyo's lap. The same way he had done with Kagome the first time he turned into a human in front of her.
Inuyasha stared at the starless sky. [What have I done to her?] "Is it right of you to tell her the truth so early? We were suppose to keep it from her until the jewel is nearly completed."
"She didn't cry nor look sad, did she?" Inuyasha shook his head, allowing Kikyo to place a light kiss on his forehead. "Isn't it clear that I was doing the right thing? Keeping it from her longer might have hurt her more."
Inuyasha sighed. He knows somehow that she was right. Kikyo was always smart. So he assumed that the painful feeling in his chest would be gone soon, right?
Kikyo closed her eyes. [Kagome did not cry nor look sad. But the worst kind of sadness, Inuyasha, is the ones when tears just won't fall.]
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"Ja ne, Kagome-chan!"
Kagome dropped her smiling face as soon as her friends were out of sight. She had spent a wonderful day shopping around with her friends. Wonderful, yes. With a horrible heartache clinging to her, threatening to melt her with acids.
[The world's not over, Kagome.] She talked to herself while walking back to the shrine. [He may have hurt you but you have to be strong! You have to go back there and continue to search for the Shi...] The sour feeling came back again. [Who am I kidding? Going back there and watch the two lovebirds? Might as well shoot me.]
Inuyasha did not come and get her. [Big surprise.] Kagome knows she will have to go back sooner or later, even if it was for the last time. She hasn't said her goodbyes to all the others. But she can't go back, not when her wounded heart is still open and raw. [Not ready to receive another slash.]
"Excuse me, miss." Kagome was pulled back into reality. An old woman was standing in front of her. And she looks so much like Kaeda, only without the eye patch. Kagome was slightly amused by lady's clothing, handbag and umbrella that were all black in colour.
She smiled and showed Kagome a paper full of drawings and writings. "Could you tell me where to get here?" Kaeda-look-alike pointed at the address on the piece of paper. "I'm a bit lost." She added.
Kagome smiled kindly. The woman wasn't a bit lost. She was VERY lost. A good thing too, Kagome needed something to distract her from thinking so much. "Would you like me to take you there?"
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(Arriving at their destination)
"Thank you so much, my dear." Kaeda-look-alike who called herself, Zeon searched for something inside her handbag. Kagome stared in awe as she studied the creepy mansion in front of her. The evening sky made the huge mansion appeared creepier. [Does this old lady stay here?]
"Here's something I want you to have." Zeon took Kagome's hand and placed the small bottle on her palm before she could refuse. It was a bottle no larger then her thumb with clear purple liquid inside. Kagome looked dumbstruck. [Huh?]
"From our conversation I've notice that you had an awful break up. You still want to be with him, but your love forbids you." Kagome blushed. They had talked during their walks and she somehow blurted out her troubles to this old lady. Maybe it was because Zeon looked so much like Kaeda, she felt as if everything will turn out alright like it usually did with Kaeda around.
"Believe it or not, this is a magic potion. Drink it while thinking of a person and it will take your love for that person away." Kagome would have laughed and call Zeon a nutcase if she herself had never experience time traveling.
"But be warn, my child. Once you give that love away, you would never be able to get it back again."
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That night, Kagome lay on her bed while holding up the small bottle Zeon gave her. She had decided to go back to the feudal age tomorrow. There was no use hiding like an ostrich from the fact. Fact: Inuyasha had never loved her.
No matter how much she dislikes the idea of going back and facing him, it was still her job and responsibility to search for the Shikon shards.
[Give away a painful love?] Her blue eyes darted at the photo frame across her room, on her desk. In it was a photograph of Inuyasha sleeping with a huge silly grin on his delicate face. Kagome had always thought maybe he was dreaming of her when he smiled like that. Now she knew, he wasn't. He must have been dreaming about Kikyo.
Kagome sat up and shook her head. She will never be able to survive if her heart was threatening to stop every time she thinks about Inuyasha. She had made up her mind. Slowly twisting the cap of the small bottle, she opened it easily.
Then she hesitated. [You will never be able to get it back.] The old woman's last word haunted her. [What the heck? Who would want a love that's so painful back anyway?] She tilted her head and drank the purple liquid.
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"Inuyasha! When is Kagome coming back?!" The little kitsune pouted at the hanyou.
"She is gone pretty long now, why don't you go and get her?" The demon exterminator gave a menacing glare at the pervert monk's hand.
"Ah, you got into another fight with her? So what's wrong this time?" Miroku did not see/ignored Sango's glare and caressed her butt.
"Feh" *BONK* Sango 'hump' and moved away from Miroku. Inuyasha shifted uncomfortably. They do not know the reason of Kagome's absent. "Kagome's not coming back. She never will." All head turned to stare at him.
"What are you saying?" Sango asked with a worried tone. It was exchanged with an angry frown soon enough. The others waited patiently for his answer.
"Read my lips, she-is-not..." Inuyasha's golden eyes flashed. [That smell...] He jumped up from the floor and ran out leaving his companions gawking at the empty space, which he sat a few seconds ago.
"So do we follow him?" Miroku was already standing. One hand holding his staff, the other held out to help Sango up.
[What did that stupid hanyou did this time?"] All of them ran after him with the same question in their head.
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Inuyasha stood inches away from the well. He could hear the tired breathing sound coming from inside. [Why is she back?] A small body popped out, struggling to get out of the well while balancing the huge backpack at the same time. She finally settled herself and lifted her head. Golden eyes stare back.
[Is she going to cry? Please don't. I can't be with you even if you cry your heart out. My heart already belongs to Kikyo.] Inuyasha did not know what to do. He stood still like a statue, wondering what would happen now since she's back again.
"Hey." Kagome smiled and greeted him. The dog demon lifted his eyebrow as if she had just said the weirdest thing. He had expected a screaming fight, a tearful embrace, a passionate kiss...He would never had expect this.
Before he had a chance to talk, other people/youkai rushed towards Kagome. Miroku, Sango and Shippo crowded her, greeting her and asking her all sorts of question. Just the thing Inuyasha had wanted to do.
"Kagome! Inuyasha said you weren't coming back!!" Shippo wailed and cling onto her shoulder tighter. Kagome petted his head and reached for her backpack.
"Now why would I leave such a cute little youkai like you Shippo? Inuyasha is just mean. Here, this is for you." She gave the little kitsune a green lolly.
[She called my name...why does it sound so weird?] Then it struck him. She had called his name without the usual racing heartbeat he usually heard.
"Let's go back, Kagome-chan." Sango smiled. It was a relieved to know that Kagome is back. For a second back there, she thought Inuyasha had finally broken Kagome's heart.
"Hai!" Kagome heaved her backpack. The weight suddenly lifted. Inuyasha had done his bit and took Kagome's backpack. He looked forward, trying to ignore her present.
"That's so 'nice' of you Inuyasha. It's no wonder that you love Kagome- sama so much." Miroku teased.
"Shut up, monk. I do not love that wench!" The words came out before he could stop it. Inuyasha cursed in his mind and waited for Kagome to yell back and give him his 'punishment'.
Miroku kept his grin on. He was waiting for the scene when both Inuyasha and Kagome would yell that they do not love each other. Then Inuyasha gets the 'sit' for talking too much. It never fails to happen.
"Thank you, Inuyasha." Kagome smiled. Miroku almost tripped on a tiny grass. Sango and Shippo sweat dropped. Inuyasha had an unidentifiable expression on. "For the backpack I mean." She added. Sango and Shippo forced a laugh out to ease the atmosphere.
Inuyasha watches as Kagome walked with Sango on her left and Shippo skipping merrily on her right. [Something is terribly wrong here.]
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They continued their adventure. At first everything seems to be normal, Sango always polishing her boomerang, Miroku always trying to grope Sango, Shippo always annoying Inuyasha. And Kagome, always laughing at her weird companions.
Only Inuyasha noticed the little change. Kagome hung out more often with Miroku, Sango and Shippo. She did not deliberately ignore him, nor did she spend any extra time with him. He noticed that her time spent on each of them had become equal. He no longer held the special reason for her to just sit beside him and daydream.
~*~
"Inuyasha."
His looked down at Kagome. It was night and the air was as cold as ever. Miroku had done his part and found them a grand place to sleep. Inuyasha disagree to sleep inside giving his famous excuse, he never feel safe trapped with walls. He did not like the cold, but his pride won't let him get down and ask his companion if there's an extra place for him that night.
"Inuyasha." Kagome repeated. "It's cold out there. Do you want to come inside?"
[Feh, so this woman still cares for me. I've should have known.] Inuyasha couldn't understand why his mood suddenly lifted and he felt like jumping for joy. "Feh, no I don't wench. Why do you care?" He smirked. This way Kagome would INSIST him to come inside, she always does. [*Brr* It's certainly freezing here.]
"Oh, okay." Kagome said cheerfully and shrugged. She went inside again.
Inuyasha stared at empty space that Kagome stood just then. His cheeks grew hot despite the cold wind blowing. He choked in the lump inside in throat. [What happened?]
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Inuyasha's hands were smeared with blood. He bleeds more blood compared to the youkai that he had just killed. [Feh, I wouldn't bleed this much if it weren't for that wimpy wolf]. Kouga's injury was far worse than his.
He felt all weak and depress. Was it because he had bleed too much or was it because Kagome did not yelled his name during the fight? It was the latter. She had ALWAYS called his name. No matter if it was when the enemy struck him or when she was in danger. Kagome always call out to him. But not this time.
Inuyasha fell on the ground. He waited for the worried footsteps walking towards him like before but he heard none. Turning his head, he saw Kagome still fussing over Sango and Shippo's injuries. Then, it hit him. Inuyasha had always been the first person that Kagome will rush to. She never fails to check on his wound, to ask if he's okay, to cry for him when he's not.
Ironically, he never noticed that until now.
Eventually, he got tired of faking to be hurt badly and waiting for some sympathize. Inuyasha got up and limped slowly towards Kagome. [Why isn't she noticing me after so long?] He saw his answer and anger build within him.
"Kagome, you're hurt! Look at your poor delicate hands..." Kouga held both of Kagome's redden hands and kissed them tenderly. Kagome blushed and Inuyasha heard her heart thumping wildly. [Kagome's heartbeat never increases unless she is in danger or...or when she is with me.]
"Kouga-kun..." Kagome called him softly. She had no intention of pulling her hands away. Inuyasha frowned and lifted his Tetsusaiga. [Why is she calling his name instead of mine?? And why the hell is that stupid wolf kissing Kagome??? Why-why isn't she pulling away?] The last thought dreaded him. He was about to swing his Tetsusaiga down for a clean kill when...
"Inuyasha, osuwari!!" The sword skidded away and landed near Miroku, almost cutting him on the way. Kagome apologized repeatedly for scaring the day lights out of Miroku. She turned her view back to the flatten dog demon. "Don't you understand that Kouga-kun is not our enemy?"
Kagome smoothens the knot between her eyebrows and sighed. "Inuyasha, I'm tired and our friends are hurt. Do you think we can go back to Kaeda's without cutting Kouga-kun into half?" She didn't seem to mind when Kouga helped her up and pulling her into his embrace at the same time.
[She never done that before. This is not the Kagome I've known. My Kagome will never do that. She never makes my stomach sour or my mood down. My Kagome always cheers me up and she won't let any males touch her except for me. So who is this girl?]
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Kagome lean against a tree. It was night. Not too long ago, she remembered, it was Inuyasha's shoulder she had been leaning on instead of a rough tree trunk. She replayed the heartbreaking scene over and over again just to test the effectiveness of the potion. Not surprisingly, it did work. No longer that pain and sadness chewed on her when she thought about Inuyasha's betrayal.
What came over her today when Kouga kissed her hands she did not know. She felt attracted to Kouga. [Well, it is normal since I can't feel love for Inuyasha anymore.] True enough, she often forgets about Inuyasha existence but this doesn't mean that she doesn't care for him. Only his place in her heart had dropped from #1 to the same place where Miroku, Sango and Shippo are.
Suddenly, a shadow falls from the sky and dropped beside her. Kagome lets a small gasp escape as the shadow pressed its hand on her mouth to stop her from screaming.
"Keep it down. It's me." Inuyasha released her when she nodded. "It's late, what are you doing out here?" He had actually followed her the minute she left Kaeda's hut. Kagome had been sitting there for a long time, not even noticing the hanyou above her head. [Didn't she know it was dangerous?] He thought with a frown.
"You've scared me." Kagome tries to breath normally. The scare that Inuyasha gave can cure any hiccups. " I can't sleep. You?"
Inuyasha felt a stab of pain. Before his betrayal, Kagome went to him every time when she couldn't sleep at night. It is another prove that Kagome had changed. With this new 'Kagome', he did not know how much more he could take. He was at the edge of breaking.
"I saw you walking out here and I was worried about you." That was the truth. Inuyasha then hugged her tightly. His heart flutters when she wrapped her arms around his waist. "How could you 'sit' me and let that wimpy wolf touch you?" He muttered into her small shoulder. The stubborn image of Kouga kissing Kagome just wouldn't get off his mind.
"I'm sorry." Inuyasha was satisfied about her apology. His mood was lifting rapidly until he pulled away to look at her face to face. "But please don't try to hurt Kouga-kun again." Kagome was smiling. He knew that smile contains friendship and nothing else. The same goes for her embrace, nothing more then comforting a friend. He grew angry. That wasn't the expression he wanted. He doesn't want to be ONLY her friend.
Kagome loosen her arms and moved away from Inuyasha. Keeping that 'friendly' smile on her face. "Don't do that again, Inuyasha. What'll happen if Kikyo sees us like this? She won't be happy." She said softly.
That brought another unwanted memory back. Kagome still remembers her shock and hurt feelings when she saw Kikyo and him kissing. Although she could not feel it anymore, she knows that not even a dead-miko like Kikyo deserves to feel what she had felt that day.
"What's happening? You're so different." He asked in a tired voice. Kagome blinked a few times. She never expected that Inuyasha would be the first to suspect something different about her.
"What? I'm not any different? I'm Kagome. Remember? KA-GO-ME?" She wasn't planning on hiding the truth from him but it'll be too confusing to explain to him anyway.
"Yes, you are Kagome. But you've been acting strangely. Stop playing with me and tell me what happen to you!!" Inuyasha swears he was going crazy soon.
Kagome gave in. She did not feel love for him. She pitied him. "After I left you that day," There was no need of explaining what day. They both knew which day was it. "I've helped this old lady, Zeon. She gave me a potion and tells me my problems will be solved if I drink it."
"And what was that potion for?" Inuyasha wasn't feeling thrilled to know her answer.
"It took away my love for you." Kagome replied in a calm tone, like they were chatting about the weather.
The dog demon felt his head suddenly cleared, but the depressing and hurtful feelings stayed. [That why I felt Kagome was missing something. She was lack of...her love for me.]
All her earlier action had been explained. Why she did not get mad at him when he said he does not love her, why she did not mind him staying outside in the cold, why she did not call his name or see if his was okay after the battle, why she did not get angry when Kouga touched her. They were all her precious symbols of love for him. He never noticed any single one of it before she changed. Now it was all gone.
"Since I've held no more love for you, I don't love you anymore." She said it as easy as breathing. He received it as heavy as the blow of his Tetsusaiga. [She...doesn't love me?] That did it. It pushed him off the edge.
Kagome stood up and prepared to leave. She brushed the back of her pajamas and turned to say goodnight to the dog demon. It surprised her that he had already stood up and trapped her between the huge tree trunk and himself.
"You have to get those feelings back." There was urgency and desperation inside his shaking voice.
"Why?" A simple question that both of them wanted to know badly.
"I don't know why! You just have to!" Inuyasha yelled as tears glide down his cheeks. [Why? Why is it so important that she must love me???] "I don't wanna face this kind of you anymore!" He sounded like a stubborn child but he doesn't care.
Kagome hugged him. But he knew better, her hug was like a friend comforting a sad person. There was no love in it. "I can't. Don't worry, Inuyasha, You'll get use to this new 'me' soon."
And then, he kissed her. There was saltiness in their kiss. Cause by Inuyasha's flowing tears. Kagome was shocked but soon regain control. She did not push him away, but she did not return his kisses either.
He kissed her furiously, pressing his lips hard against hers, wanting her to respond. Inuyasha forced his tongue into her mouth, trying to arouse her excitement. He did not know what was he doing, what was he hoping for. After all his efforts, she never shows him any reaction. He felt like kissing a dress up doll, not Kagome.
"Damn it!!!" He slammed his fist at the tree behind Kagome. Missing her face only by inches. "Why can't you react to me???" More tears fell. Inuyasha had never felt so desperate before. Not even facing Naraku could be compared to this situation. Kagome was the only person that can make him feel so vulnerable.
"Please...come back to me. I love you." This time, the words came out right from his heart. There weren't any hesitations he had like the first time he confessed. He was surprised at how easily he could tell her those simple three words.
It surprised him more when Kagome snuggled up with him. She placed her arms around his trembling body and buried her head on his chest. Just when he thought the nightmare was finally over, she murmured.
"It's too late, I'm sorry."
AN(Again): Will Inuyasha and Kagome ever have a happy ending (in this fic anyway)? Or will Kagome torture the already-miserable-hanyou? The answer will come out on the 27th of October 2002! Please, please, pwetti, pwetti pleazze leave me a review!!
Carrot fangirl: Thanks again for telling me the title doesn't flow! I appreciate that.
yui-girl: I know! I'll hate it if it ends with IY/Kikyo being a pair! But this is suppose to be a sad fic... Oh well, I could change my mind about the 'sad' part. Thank you for reviewing!!
Jules: Kikyo's fan? Where? Where!? (Looks left and right in search of almost extinct populations, and suddenly gets hit by a tomato) Owie... Aha, arigatou for saying my fic is sad! (It's meant to be sad)
Aki: Do you like to see Inuyasha get torture? (Stares with big innocent eyes) 3Q(Thank u) for telling me it's good. Cause I was afraid it wasn't.
SangoShadowphoenix: Hey there! I think you're the only one who noticed my 'straightforward words'. Kukuku, that was because the more simple the words are, the lesser mistake. (Actually I was running low on vocablulary -_-;;) 3Q!
Yamashita: Well yeah, everything Kikyo said was true (I do hope it doesn't happen in the manga/anime). I've tortured Inuyasha in this chapter, so what do you think? Is it still call an angst fic? Because I think the story is getting further from the title. Arigatou! ^_^ (I've written a nice fluffy fic, Kagome's boyfriend and I'd be really happy if you could read it!)
I OWN INUYASHA... Hang on, that doesn't seem right... Oh yeah, I forgot to plus a 'do not'.
^_~ well you get the idea.
AN: So sorry about the title. But my first language is not English. It's Chinese. Anyway I've listened to Carrot fangirl's advice and changed the title. Leave a review to tell me that someone actually read my poor little fic!!
"What are you thinking about?" Kikyo rubbed his soft canine ear. Inuyasha shifted his head away from her hand, he does not like Kikyo touching his ears. It reminds him of Kagome. He was lying on Kikyo's lap. The same way he had done with Kagome the first time he turned into a human in front of her.
Inuyasha stared at the starless sky. [What have I done to her?] "Is it right of you to tell her the truth so early? We were suppose to keep it from her until the jewel is nearly completed."
"She didn't cry nor look sad, did she?" Inuyasha shook his head, allowing Kikyo to place a light kiss on his forehead. "Isn't it clear that I was doing the right thing? Keeping it from her longer might have hurt her more."
Inuyasha sighed. He knows somehow that she was right. Kikyo was always smart. So he assumed that the painful feeling in his chest would be gone soon, right?
Kikyo closed her eyes. [Kagome did not cry nor look sad. But the worst kind of sadness, Inuyasha, is the ones when tears just won't fall.]
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"Ja ne, Kagome-chan!"
Kagome dropped her smiling face as soon as her friends were out of sight. She had spent a wonderful day shopping around with her friends. Wonderful, yes. With a horrible heartache clinging to her, threatening to melt her with acids.
[The world's not over, Kagome.] She talked to herself while walking back to the shrine. [He may have hurt you but you have to be strong! You have to go back there and continue to search for the Shi...] The sour feeling came back again. [Who am I kidding? Going back there and watch the two lovebirds? Might as well shoot me.]
Inuyasha did not come and get her. [Big surprise.] Kagome knows she will have to go back sooner or later, even if it was for the last time. She hasn't said her goodbyes to all the others. But she can't go back, not when her wounded heart is still open and raw. [Not ready to receive another slash.]
"Excuse me, miss." Kagome was pulled back into reality. An old woman was standing in front of her. And she looks so much like Kaeda, only without the eye patch. Kagome was slightly amused by lady's clothing, handbag and umbrella that were all black in colour.
She smiled and showed Kagome a paper full of drawings and writings. "Could you tell me where to get here?" Kaeda-look-alike pointed at the address on the piece of paper. "I'm a bit lost." She added.
Kagome smiled kindly. The woman wasn't a bit lost. She was VERY lost. A good thing too, Kagome needed something to distract her from thinking so much. "Would you like me to take you there?"
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(Arriving at their destination)
"Thank you so much, my dear." Kaeda-look-alike who called herself, Zeon searched for something inside her handbag. Kagome stared in awe as she studied the creepy mansion in front of her. The evening sky made the huge mansion appeared creepier. [Does this old lady stay here?]
"Here's something I want you to have." Zeon took Kagome's hand and placed the small bottle on her palm before she could refuse. It was a bottle no larger then her thumb with clear purple liquid inside. Kagome looked dumbstruck. [Huh?]
"From our conversation I've notice that you had an awful break up. You still want to be with him, but your love forbids you." Kagome blushed. They had talked during their walks and she somehow blurted out her troubles to this old lady. Maybe it was because Zeon looked so much like Kaeda, she felt as if everything will turn out alright like it usually did with Kaeda around.
"Believe it or not, this is a magic potion. Drink it while thinking of a person and it will take your love for that person away." Kagome would have laughed and call Zeon a nutcase if she herself had never experience time traveling.
"But be warn, my child. Once you give that love away, you would never be able to get it back again."
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That night, Kagome lay on her bed while holding up the small bottle Zeon gave her. She had decided to go back to the feudal age tomorrow. There was no use hiding like an ostrich from the fact. Fact: Inuyasha had never loved her.
No matter how much she dislikes the idea of going back and facing him, it was still her job and responsibility to search for the Shikon shards.
[Give away a painful love?] Her blue eyes darted at the photo frame across her room, on her desk. In it was a photograph of Inuyasha sleeping with a huge silly grin on his delicate face. Kagome had always thought maybe he was dreaming of her when he smiled like that. Now she knew, he wasn't. He must have been dreaming about Kikyo.
Kagome sat up and shook her head. She will never be able to survive if her heart was threatening to stop every time she thinks about Inuyasha. She had made up her mind. Slowly twisting the cap of the small bottle, she opened it easily.
Then she hesitated. [You will never be able to get it back.] The old woman's last word haunted her. [What the heck? Who would want a love that's so painful back anyway?] She tilted her head and drank the purple liquid.
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"Inuyasha! When is Kagome coming back?!" The little kitsune pouted at the hanyou.
"She is gone pretty long now, why don't you go and get her?" The demon exterminator gave a menacing glare at the pervert monk's hand.
"Ah, you got into another fight with her? So what's wrong this time?" Miroku did not see/ignored Sango's glare and caressed her butt.
"Feh" *BONK* Sango 'hump' and moved away from Miroku. Inuyasha shifted uncomfortably. They do not know the reason of Kagome's absent. "Kagome's not coming back. She never will." All head turned to stare at him.
"What are you saying?" Sango asked with a worried tone. It was exchanged with an angry frown soon enough. The others waited patiently for his answer.
"Read my lips, she-is-not..." Inuyasha's golden eyes flashed. [That smell...] He jumped up from the floor and ran out leaving his companions gawking at the empty space, which he sat a few seconds ago.
"So do we follow him?" Miroku was already standing. One hand holding his staff, the other held out to help Sango up.
[What did that stupid hanyou did this time?"] All of them ran after him with the same question in their head.
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Inuyasha stood inches away from the well. He could hear the tired breathing sound coming from inside. [Why is she back?] A small body popped out, struggling to get out of the well while balancing the huge backpack at the same time. She finally settled herself and lifted her head. Golden eyes stare back.
[Is she going to cry? Please don't. I can't be with you even if you cry your heart out. My heart already belongs to Kikyo.] Inuyasha did not know what to do. He stood still like a statue, wondering what would happen now since she's back again.
"Hey." Kagome smiled and greeted him. The dog demon lifted his eyebrow as if she had just said the weirdest thing. He had expected a screaming fight, a tearful embrace, a passionate kiss...He would never had expect this.
Before he had a chance to talk, other people/youkai rushed towards Kagome. Miroku, Sango and Shippo crowded her, greeting her and asking her all sorts of question. Just the thing Inuyasha had wanted to do.
"Kagome! Inuyasha said you weren't coming back!!" Shippo wailed and cling onto her shoulder tighter. Kagome petted his head and reached for her backpack.
"Now why would I leave such a cute little youkai like you Shippo? Inuyasha is just mean. Here, this is for you." She gave the little kitsune a green lolly.
[She called my name...why does it sound so weird?] Then it struck him. She had called his name without the usual racing heartbeat he usually heard.
"Let's go back, Kagome-chan." Sango smiled. It was a relieved to know that Kagome is back. For a second back there, she thought Inuyasha had finally broken Kagome's heart.
"Hai!" Kagome heaved her backpack. The weight suddenly lifted. Inuyasha had done his bit and took Kagome's backpack. He looked forward, trying to ignore her present.
"That's so 'nice' of you Inuyasha. It's no wonder that you love Kagome- sama so much." Miroku teased.
"Shut up, monk. I do not love that wench!" The words came out before he could stop it. Inuyasha cursed in his mind and waited for Kagome to yell back and give him his 'punishment'.
Miroku kept his grin on. He was waiting for the scene when both Inuyasha and Kagome would yell that they do not love each other. Then Inuyasha gets the 'sit' for talking too much. It never fails to happen.
"Thank you, Inuyasha." Kagome smiled. Miroku almost tripped on a tiny grass. Sango and Shippo sweat dropped. Inuyasha had an unidentifiable expression on. "For the backpack I mean." She added. Sango and Shippo forced a laugh out to ease the atmosphere.
Inuyasha watches as Kagome walked with Sango on her left and Shippo skipping merrily on her right. [Something is terribly wrong here.]
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~
They continued their adventure. At first everything seems to be normal, Sango always polishing her boomerang, Miroku always trying to grope Sango, Shippo always annoying Inuyasha. And Kagome, always laughing at her weird companions.
Only Inuyasha noticed the little change. Kagome hung out more often with Miroku, Sango and Shippo. She did not deliberately ignore him, nor did she spend any extra time with him. He noticed that her time spent on each of them had become equal. He no longer held the special reason for her to just sit beside him and daydream.
~*~
"Inuyasha."
His looked down at Kagome. It was night and the air was as cold as ever. Miroku had done his part and found them a grand place to sleep. Inuyasha disagree to sleep inside giving his famous excuse, he never feel safe trapped with walls. He did not like the cold, but his pride won't let him get down and ask his companion if there's an extra place for him that night.
"Inuyasha." Kagome repeated. "It's cold out there. Do you want to come inside?"
[Feh, so this woman still cares for me. I've should have known.] Inuyasha couldn't understand why his mood suddenly lifted and he felt like jumping for joy. "Feh, no I don't wench. Why do you care?" He smirked. This way Kagome would INSIST him to come inside, she always does. [*Brr* It's certainly freezing here.]
"Oh, okay." Kagome said cheerfully and shrugged. She went inside again.
Inuyasha stared at empty space that Kagome stood just then. His cheeks grew hot despite the cold wind blowing. He choked in the lump inside in throat. [What happened?]
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~
Inuyasha's hands were smeared with blood. He bleeds more blood compared to the youkai that he had just killed. [Feh, I wouldn't bleed this much if it weren't for that wimpy wolf]. Kouga's injury was far worse than his.
He felt all weak and depress. Was it because he had bleed too much or was it because Kagome did not yelled his name during the fight? It was the latter. She had ALWAYS called his name. No matter if it was when the enemy struck him or when she was in danger. Kagome always call out to him. But not this time.
Inuyasha fell on the ground. He waited for the worried footsteps walking towards him like before but he heard none. Turning his head, he saw Kagome still fussing over Sango and Shippo's injuries. Then, it hit him. Inuyasha had always been the first person that Kagome will rush to. She never fails to check on his wound, to ask if he's okay, to cry for him when he's not.
Ironically, he never noticed that until now.
Eventually, he got tired of faking to be hurt badly and waiting for some sympathize. Inuyasha got up and limped slowly towards Kagome. [Why isn't she noticing me after so long?] He saw his answer and anger build within him.
"Kagome, you're hurt! Look at your poor delicate hands..." Kouga held both of Kagome's redden hands and kissed them tenderly. Kagome blushed and Inuyasha heard her heart thumping wildly. [Kagome's heartbeat never increases unless she is in danger or...or when she is with me.]
"Kouga-kun..." Kagome called him softly. She had no intention of pulling her hands away. Inuyasha frowned and lifted his Tetsusaiga. [Why is she calling his name instead of mine?? And why the hell is that stupid wolf kissing Kagome??? Why-why isn't she pulling away?] The last thought dreaded him. He was about to swing his Tetsusaiga down for a clean kill when...
"Inuyasha, osuwari!!" The sword skidded away and landed near Miroku, almost cutting him on the way. Kagome apologized repeatedly for scaring the day lights out of Miroku. She turned her view back to the flatten dog demon. "Don't you understand that Kouga-kun is not our enemy?"
Kagome smoothens the knot between her eyebrows and sighed. "Inuyasha, I'm tired and our friends are hurt. Do you think we can go back to Kaeda's without cutting Kouga-kun into half?" She didn't seem to mind when Kouga helped her up and pulling her into his embrace at the same time.
[She never done that before. This is not the Kagome I've known. My Kagome will never do that. She never makes my stomach sour or my mood down. My Kagome always cheers me up and she won't let any males touch her except for me. So who is this girl?]
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~
Kagome lean against a tree. It was night. Not too long ago, she remembered, it was Inuyasha's shoulder she had been leaning on instead of a rough tree trunk. She replayed the heartbreaking scene over and over again just to test the effectiveness of the potion. Not surprisingly, it did work. No longer that pain and sadness chewed on her when she thought about Inuyasha's betrayal.
What came over her today when Kouga kissed her hands she did not know. She felt attracted to Kouga. [Well, it is normal since I can't feel love for Inuyasha anymore.] True enough, she often forgets about Inuyasha existence but this doesn't mean that she doesn't care for him. Only his place in her heart had dropped from #1 to the same place where Miroku, Sango and Shippo are.
Suddenly, a shadow falls from the sky and dropped beside her. Kagome lets a small gasp escape as the shadow pressed its hand on her mouth to stop her from screaming.
"Keep it down. It's me." Inuyasha released her when she nodded. "It's late, what are you doing out here?" He had actually followed her the minute she left Kaeda's hut. Kagome had been sitting there for a long time, not even noticing the hanyou above her head. [Didn't she know it was dangerous?] He thought with a frown.
"You've scared me." Kagome tries to breath normally. The scare that Inuyasha gave can cure any hiccups. " I can't sleep. You?"
Inuyasha felt a stab of pain. Before his betrayal, Kagome went to him every time when she couldn't sleep at night. It is another prove that Kagome had changed. With this new 'Kagome', he did not know how much more he could take. He was at the edge of breaking.
"I saw you walking out here and I was worried about you." That was the truth. Inuyasha then hugged her tightly. His heart flutters when she wrapped her arms around his waist. "How could you 'sit' me and let that wimpy wolf touch you?" He muttered into her small shoulder. The stubborn image of Kouga kissing Kagome just wouldn't get off his mind.
"I'm sorry." Inuyasha was satisfied about her apology. His mood was lifting rapidly until he pulled away to look at her face to face. "But please don't try to hurt Kouga-kun again." Kagome was smiling. He knew that smile contains friendship and nothing else. The same goes for her embrace, nothing more then comforting a friend. He grew angry. That wasn't the expression he wanted. He doesn't want to be ONLY her friend.
Kagome loosen her arms and moved away from Inuyasha. Keeping that 'friendly' smile on her face. "Don't do that again, Inuyasha. What'll happen if Kikyo sees us like this? She won't be happy." She said softly.
That brought another unwanted memory back. Kagome still remembers her shock and hurt feelings when she saw Kikyo and him kissing. Although she could not feel it anymore, she knows that not even a dead-miko like Kikyo deserves to feel what she had felt that day.
"What's happening? You're so different." He asked in a tired voice. Kagome blinked a few times. She never expected that Inuyasha would be the first to suspect something different about her.
"What? I'm not any different? I'm Kagome. Remember? KA-GO-ME?" She wasn't planning on hiding the truth from him but it'll be too confusing to explain to him anyway.
"Yes, you are Kagome. But you've been acting strangely. Stop playing with me and tell me what happen to you!!" Inuyasha swears he was going crazy soon.
Kagome gave in. She did not feel love for him. She pitied him. "After I left you that day," There was no need of explaining what day. They both knew which day was it. "I've helped this old lady, Zeon. She gave me a potion and tells me my problems will be solved if I drink it."
"And what was that potion for?" Inuyasha wasn't feeling thrilled to know her answer.
"It took away my love for you." Kagome replied in a calm tone, like they were chatting about the weather.
The dog demon felt his head suddenly cleared, but the depressing and hurtful feelings stayed. [That why I felt Kagome was missing something. She was lack of...her love for me.]
All her earlier action had been explained. Why she did not get mad at him when he said he does not love her, why she did not mind him staying outside in the cold, why she did not call his name or see if his was okay after the battle, why she did not get angry when Kouga touched her. They were all her precious symbols of love for him. He never noticed any single one of it before she changed. Now it was all gone.
"Since I've held no more love for you, I don't love you anymore." She said it as easy as breathing. He received it as heavy as the blow of his Tetsusaiga. [She...doesn't love me?] That did it. It pushed him off the edge.
Kagome stood up and prepared to leave. She brushed the back of her pajamas and turned to say goodnight to the dog demon. It surprised her that he had already stood up and trapped her between the huge tree trunk and himself.
"You have to get those feelings back." There was urgency and desperation inside his shaking voice.
"Why?" A simple question that both of them wanted to know badly.
"I don't know why! You just have to!" Inuyasha yelled as tears glide down his cheeks. [Why? Why is it so important that she must love me???] "I don't wanna face this kind of you anymore!" He sounded like a stubborn child but he doesn't care.
Kagome hugged him. But he knew better, her hug was like a friend comforting a sad person. There was no love in it. "I can't. Don't worry, Inuyasha, You'll get use to this new 'me' soon."
And then, he kissed her. There was saltiness in their kiss. Cause by Inuyasha's flowing tears. Kagome was shocked but soon regain control. She did not push him away, but she did not return his kisses either.
He kissed her furiously, pressing his lips hard against hers, wanting her to respond. Inuyasha forced his tongue into her mouth, trying to arouse her excitement. He did not know what was he doing, what was he hoping for. After all his efforts, she never shows him any reaction. He felt like kissing a dress up doll, not Kagome.
"Damn it!!!" He slammed his fist at the tree behind Kagome. Missing her face only by inches. "Why can't you react to me???" More tears fell. Inuyasha had never felt so desperate before. Not even facing Naraku could be compared to this situation. Kagome was the only person that can make him feel so vulnerable.
"Please...come back to me. I love you." This time, the words came out right from his heart. There weren't any hesitations he had like the first time he confessed. He was surprised at how easily he could tell her those simple three words.
It surprised him more when Kagome snuggled up with him. She placed her arms around his trembling body and buried her head on his chest. Just when he thought the nightmare was finally over, she murmured.
"It's too late, I'm sorry."
AN(Again): Will Inuyasha and Kagome ever have a happy ending (in this fic anyway)? Or will Kagome torture the already-miserable-hanyou? The answer will come out on the 27th of October 2002! Please, please, pwetti, pwetti pleazze leave me a review!!
Carrot fangirl: Thanks again for telling me the title doesn't flow! I appreciate that.
yui-girl: I know! I'll hate it if it ends with IY/Kikyo being a pair! But this is suppose to be a sad fic... Oh well, I could change my mind about the 'sad' part. Thank you for reviewing!!
Jules: Kikyo's fan? Where? Where!? (Looks left and right in search of almost extinct populations, and suddenly gets hit by a tomato) Owie... Aha, arigatou for saying my fic is sad! (It's meant to be sad)
Aki: Do you like to see Inuyasha get torture? (Stares with big innocent eyes) 3Q(Thank u) for telling me it's good. Cause I was afraid it wasn't.
SangoShadowphoenix: Hey there! I think you're the only one who noticed my 'straightforward words'. Kukuku, that was because the more simple the words are, the lesser mistake. (Actually I was running low on vocablulary -_-;;) 3Q!
Yamashita: Well yeah, everything Kikyo said was true (I do hope it doesn't happen in the manga/anime). I've tortured Inuyasha in this chapter, so what do you think? Is it still call an angst fic? Because I think the story is getting further from the title. Arigatou! ^_^ (I've written a nice fluffy fic, Kagome's boyfriend and I'd be really happy if you could read it!)