What I own: A nice new apartment in the burbs. HOODY HOO! (proceeds to do
a happy dance)
What I don't own: Final Fantasy Eight or anything to do with Final Fantasy Eight. (sigh)
Who this chapter is dedicated to: All of the lovely Squalphie supporters who've been so nice to me. ^_^ You guys rule! And since you asked me so nice (ahem "Go write! Quick!") Here's Chapter Nine.
What's coming?: "Sir Laguna" will be back soon. (DRUEL DRUEL!) as well as some really nifty plot twists and what not. And if you're lucky….maybe…just maybe…I'll bring in an offspring. No, not the "pretty fly for a white guy" offspring (who I don't own but that song does make me think of Zell ^_^ ).
What else to look for: MOULIN DEATHSTAR! Hehehehehe The disgusting product of my boyfriend's sick mind melding with mine to bring you the scariest Moulin Rouge fic ever made. Hell, even I'M afraid of it. Should be up within the next coupla weeks. If you hated Episode One, or hell, if you liked it, you'll dig this. In the mean time, Squalphie goodness in a convenient package.
Chapter Nine: Saying I'm Sorry
It was late when Squall finally looked at the small clock on his bedside table. Eleven o'clock. His fingers nonchalantly weaved into her hair, and he smiled as the silky locks slipped past his skin. It felt good. So good in fact that he was beginning to wonder how he had managed all this time without someone there. He'd forgotten how good it felt to have a soft body pressed up against his, to have that sweet intoxicating scent of a woman lingering on the sheets. He'd forgotten, but now it was back. And he wanted it, craved it, with every fiber of his being. Selphie moved slightly under his arm and made a small whimpering sound as she stirred awake. When her vision cleared, it was to see a very unclothed and happy Squall peering down at her from behind unruly bangs. He wasn't smiling, but the look in his eyes spoke volumes. He didn't have to smile. But she did.
"How long have I been out?" she asked hoarsely, moving his arm down to her side so she could stretch. Squall watched her with avid curiosity, as if she was some strange foreign object he'd never seen. "A couple of hours," he said, his voice sounding far away and distracted. She grinned, flopping lazily back onto his shoulder and wrapping her free arm tightly around his chest. He smelled good…then again he always smelled good. But now she had the luxury of enjoying it.
"So," she said with a smirk, "dare I ask how you're still wide awake?" Squall still didn't smile, but there was no obvious change in his tone either. "I don't sleep much. Couple of hours usually gets me through the day." Selphie blinked up at him. "You do know that's not healthy," she said, trying for the world not to sound like Matron. He nodded, still playing with her hair. "I know. Not like I can help it." She pulled away from him momentarily to get a better look at him, ripping him from his daydream induced state and bringing him back to reality. She propped herself up on one arm with a lazy smile and busied herself with the task of straightening his hair. He closed his eyes and tried not to shiver again at her touch, letting out a long sigh.
"So now what?" she asked. He didn't move at all. "I dunno," he said softly, "I'm not very tired." Selphie gently turned his head to hers and looked up at her, amazed at how fast he could loose himself in those emerald hued eyes of hers. She caressed his cheek absently. "What's on your mind?" Squall blinked at that. How could she know? What, could she read minds or something? "Nothing," he lied. Selphie frowned. "Don't do this," she said softly, trailing one finger down his chest.
"It's…" Squall sighed in frustration. Why was it always so difficult for him to vocalize anything but orders? "I was thinking about…h-her." Selphie didn't flinch at that thought as Squall expected her to. Though she did feel that slight pang of jealousy in her chest at the words, she never outwardly showed it. Squall was amazed. The girl was full of surprises. "What about her?" asked Selphie gently, averting her eyes and snuggling close again. He was grateful for her perceptiveness and found it much easier to talk when she wasn't looking him in the eyes. "Just…it's been awhile since…it just made me remember a lot…" Selphie nodded, holding him close. She knew he was going through all sorts of emotions that he probably wasn't ready to deal with, but he had to talk about these things. For years she'd listened to Quistis's stories about how thinly spread his days were, and with the lack of sleep it was a wonder the man wasn't in a hospital somewhere. Selphie was determined to help, even if it was just for a little while.
"I keep remembering what she said when she left," he said in an inaudible whisper. Selphie could feel his body trembling ever so slightly with emotion. It was such a subtle reaction that unless one was watching him closely, it would have been lost. But Selphie could feel it, and it was all she could do not to clutch him harder. "She was so…distant that day. It's…forget it. You don't need to hear this." He moved to sit up, and Selphie followed, her eyes narrowing slightly. "I want to hear this," she said urgently. Squall could feel that familiar burning in his blood again, that angry surge, and he wanted to leave. Selphie didn't need this burden, and he was determined not to lay it on her.
"Selphie, don't push me," he said shortly. She bit her lip for a moment, trying not to let his words cut so much, and she squared her shoulders. Squall leaned nervously forward and rested his arms on his upturned knees, sighing. "I'm…sorry. It's been hard…not really thinking about it for the last year or so." Selphie nodded, pulling her knees up to her chest. He continued with some difficulty. "Before Rinoa left, she…said something about not loving me." He shrugged, trying to make it look like nothing, even though the words had been tearing him apart for years. Night after night left to wonder where he went wrong with no answer, and with no hope of ever hearing that answer. Selphie swallowed.
"Squall," she started slowly, "Rinoa…wasn't right in the head when she left you. I told you that." Squall turned on her angrily, his always-cold eyes now alight with emotion. "What aren't you telling me?" he said quickly. Selphie swallowed. No point in hiding it anymore. She sighed heavily, looking up at his pained face. "Who do you think talked to her through the whole thing?" she asked gently. Squall's eyes opened wide. Selphie? Selphie would be the one to give him the answer he'd been waiting for? Would he finally get some damn closure? Squall's voice was still taut, but his expression seemed to calm ever so slightly.
"You two started having problems, what, about two years in?" Squall nodded. "Well," she sighed, "that's where you're wrong. Rinoa was confused Squall…don't forget, she's younger than you." Selphie could see the rage building in his eyes, and all she wanted to do was stop. But he had a right to know now. "She-she was scared. You couldn't open up to her. That's what she told me." Squall swung his legs over the edge of the bed with an irritated look on his face. She moved forward slightly to place a hand on his shoulder, and he flinched, moving off the bed swiftly and facing her with renewed irritation. "You mean to tell me…all that time, you knew? And you never said a goddam thing about it?!?" His voice seemed to echo through the room angrily as he watched her fumble for the right words. Though she herself seemed to be gaining in agitation.
"Squall, what was I supposed to do? She was my friend. I don't fling my friend's secrets all over the place." Squall looked as if she'd stabbed him in the back. "Nice double standard, Selph." He grabbed his pants and angrily shoved them on, Selphie rushing out of the bed and yanking his boxers from the floor with an irritated grumble. "Squall, stop acting like a five year old! She asked me to shut my mouth about it. Who the hell was I to break you guys up?" He didn't respond in any way, only walked out the door and slammed it angrily, leaving a very disheveled Selphie in his boxers and shirt running out the door and trying to catch up with him. It was the sound of him punching the wall down the hall with amazing force that really pushed her over the edge. With an angry glint in her eyes, she rushed out of the room just in time to see her getting into the elevator. Where the heck was he going to go with no shirt anyway?
She saw the opportunity for what it was and swung herself quickly through the doorway to the stairs right across the hall. Squall might have been three times as strong as her, but there was a lot less to Selphie's body, making her much more agile and fast than he would ever be. She bolted down all three flights of stairs with ease and managed to walk out of the stairwell just as the elevator was arriving. When the doors opened, Squall had no where to go but straight forward into a very angry looking Selphie donning his shirt and boxers, both of which were about three or four sizes too big. It would have been comical, had the mood not been so tense.
"First off," she started as he sullenly walked out of the elevator and stopped a foot from her, "I'm gonna tell you something and I'm only gonna tell you once." Her voice dropped low, and Squall was surprised at the amount of passion in her voice. She was serious. "That sort of reaction is not the way to keep me around." She folded her arms, a gesture that reminded Squall of Quistis. His anger was seeping away slowly, and he felt more like a disgruntled little boy who wasn't getting his way. Selphie continued, arms still crossed. "You react like that one more time, and I'm gone. Violence never solved anything." Squall had to admit, there was something about her now that forced him to wonder. Was Irvine harsh with her? Why was she reacting so angrily? All he did was punch a wall…and probably woke up half of the hotel in the process. He nodded quietly.
"Now you're going to get back in that elevator and you're gonna listen to the rest of my story," she said softly. "And then if you don't like what I have to say, fine. But at least hear me out." Selphie felt like a broken record, but she hated it when people wouldn't give her the benefit of the doubt. It made her crazy. Squall went back into the elevator and Selphie followed, grateful for the near empty lobby. That would have been even more embarrassing had there been a few more people downstairs.
When the two were safely closed back in their room, Selphie resumed her seat on the bed and stared at Squall with an expectant look. He grudgingly took a seat next to her as she sighed. "Squall," she said softly, taking his hand, "listen to me. I'm sorry I didn't call you when I knew." He leaned forward slightly, rubbing the bridge of his nose with his free hand then leaning on his knee.
"I'm…I flew off the handle," he said stiffly. "Maybe that was the wrong reaction." Selphie nodded, entwining her fingers with his and scooting a little closer before she continued. "I owe you a big apology. If I could have stopped things from happening the way they did, I should have opened my mouth." Squall shook his head. "No, Selph," he said, still keeping his eyes on the floor, "you promised you'd keep her secret. If you'd said anything it just would have caused you more problems." Selphie cuddled close to his arm, resting her cheek against his toned muscles, trying not to grin.
"My big mouth gets me in plenty of trouble without exposing my friend's deepest darkest secrets." She chuckled a bit at that and was relieved when she felt his muscles relax. Squall shrugged, not feeling much better but not willing to keep up the anger anymore. "I dunno," he said in a hushed voice as he gently pulled his arm from her and slid it around her shoulders with a heavy sigh. "I'm…sorry Selphie." She looked up at him for a moment, so lost in his thoughts, and she wondered if Squall had ever managed to say those words before. She smiled up at him, gently turning his sad face to look at hers. "Don't worry about it," she said softly. "Just…try to talk to me before you go crazy, okay?" Squall looked into her eyes for a few moments before the small, shy smile crept it's way back. "Sure," he said, nodding. Selphie giggled, poking him playfully in the side, and for some reason Squall felt the last of his anger ebb away.
"So…now what?" she asked, closing her eyes as his fingers started their trek through her hair again. Squall shrugged, resting his chin on top of her head. "Not sure," he said thoughtfully. "You tired?"
She shook her head. "Nope. Not anymore."
Squall snickered, looking down into her eyes. "Well then that answers my question."
What I don't own: Final Fantasy Eight or anything to do with Final Fantasy Eight. (sigh)
Who this chapter is dedicated to: All of the lovely Squalphie supporters who've been so nice to me. ^_^ You guys rule! And since you asked me so nice (ahem "Go write! Quick!") Here's Chapter Nine.
What's coming?: "Sir Laguna" will be back soon. (DRUEL DRUEL!) as well as some really nifty plot twists and what not. And if you're lucky….maybe…just maybe…I'll bring in an offspring. No, not the "pretty fly for a white guy" offspring (who I don't own but that song does make me think of Zell ^_^ ).
What else to look for: MOULIN DEATHSTAR! Hehehehehe The disgusting product of my boyfriend's sick mind melding with mine to bring you the scariest Moulin Rouge fic ever made. Hell, even I'M afraid of it. Should be up within the next coupla weeks. If you hated Episode One, or hell, if you liked it, you'll dig this. In the mean time, Squalphie goodness in a convenient package.
Chapter Nine: Saying I'm Sorry
It was late when Squall finally looked at the small clock on his bedside table. Eleven o'clock. His fingers nonchalantly weaved into her hair, and he smiled as the silky locks slipped past his skin. It felt good. So good in fact that he was beginning to wonder how he had managed all this time without someone there. He'd forgotten how good it felt to have a soft body pressed up against his, to have that sweet intoxicating scent of a woman lingering on the sheets. He'd forgotten, but now it was back. And he wanted it, craved it, with every fiber of his being. Selphie moved slightly under his arm and made a small whimpering sound as she stirred awake. When her vision cleared, it was to see a very unclothed and happy Squall peering down at her from behind unruly bangs. He wasn't smiling, but the look in his eyes spoke volumes. He didn't have to smile. But she did.
"How long have I been out?" she asked hoarsely, moving his arm down to her side so she could stretch. Squall watched her with avid curiosity, as if she was some strange foreign object he'd never seen. "A couple of hours," he said, his voice sounding far away and distracted. She grinned, flopping lazily back onto his shoulder and wrapping her free arm tightly around his chest. He smelled good…then again he always smelled good. But now she had the luxury of enjoying it.
"So," she said with a smirk, "dare I ask how you're still wide awake?" Squall still didn't smile, but there was no obvious change in his tone either. "I don't sleep much. Couple of hours usually gets me through the day." Selphie blinked up at him. "You do know that's not healthy," she said, trying for the world not to sound like Matron. He nodded, still playing with her hair. "I know. Not like I can help it." She pulled away from him momentarily to get a better look at him, ripping him from his daydream induced state and bringing him back to reality. She propped herself up on one arm with a lazy smile and busied herself with the task of straightening his hair. He closed his eyes and tried not to shiver again at her touch, letting out a long sigh.
"So now what?" she asked. He didn't move at all. "I dunno," he said softly, "I'm not very tired." Selphie gently turned his head to hers and looked up at her, amazed at how fast he could loose himself in those emerald hued eyes of hers. She caressed his cheek absently. "What's on your mind?" Squall blinked at that. How could she know? What, could she read minds or something? "Nothing," he lied. Selphie frowned. "Don't do this," she said softly, trailing one finger down his chest.
"It's…" Squall sighed in frustration. Why was it always so difficult for him to vocalize anything but orders? "I was thinking about…h-her." Selphie didn't flinch at that thought as Squall expected her to. Though she did feel that slight pang of jealousy in her chest at the words, she never outwardly showed it. Squall was amazed. The girl was full of surprises. "What about her?" asked Selphie gently, averting her eyes and snuggling close again. He was grateful for her perceptiveness and found it much easier to talk when she wasn't looking him in the eyes. "Just…it's been awhile since…it just made me remember a lot…" Selphie nodded, holding him close. She knew he was going through all sorts of emotions that he probably wasn't ready to deal with, but he had to talk about these things. For years she'd listened to Quistis's stories about how thinly spread his days were, and with the lack of sleep it was a wonder the man wasn't in a hospital somewhere. Selphie was determined to help, even if it was just for a little while.
"I keep remembering what she said when she left," he said in an inaudible whisper. Selphie could feel his body trembling ever so slightly with emotion. It was such a subtle reaction that unless one was watching him closely, it would have been lost. But Selphie could feel it, and it was all she could do not to clutch him harder. "She was so…distant that day. It's…forget it. You don't need to hear this." He moved to sit up, and Selphie followed, her eyes narrowing slightly. "I want to hear this," she said urgently. Squall could feel that familiar burning in his blood again, that angry surge, and he wanted to leave. Selphie didn't need this burden, and he was determined not to lay it on her.
"Selphie, don't push me," he said shortly. She bit her lip for a moment, trying not to let his words cut so much, and she squared her shoulders. Squall leaned nervously forward and rested his arms on his upturned knees, sighing. "I'm…sorry. It's been hard…not really thinking about it for the last year or so." Selphie nodded, pulling her knees up to her chest. He continued with some difficulty. "Before Rinoa left, she…said something about not loving me." He shrugged, trying to make it look like nothing, even though the words had been tearing him apart for years. Night after night left to wonder where he went wrong with no answer, and with no hope of ever hearing that answer. Selphie swallowed.
"Squall," she started slowly, "Rinoa…wasn't right in the head when she left you. I told you that." Squall turned on her angrily, his always-cold eyes now alight with emotion. "What aren't you telling me?" he said quickly. Selphie swallowed. No point in hiding it anymore. She sighed heavily, looking up at his pained face. "Who do you think talked to her through the whole thing?" she asked gently. Squall's eyes opened wide. Selphie? Selphie would be the one to give him the answer he'd been waiting for? Would he finally get some damn closure? Squall's voice was still taut, but his expression seemed to calm ever so slightly.
"You two started having problems, what, about two years in?" Squall nodded. "Well," she sighed, "that's where you're wrong. Rinoa was confused Squall…don't forget, she's younger than you." Selphie could see the rage building in his eyes, and all she wanted to do was stop. But he had a right to know now. "She-she was scared. You couldn't open up to her. That's what she told me." Squall swung his legs over the edge of the bed with an irritated look on his face. She moved forward slightly to place a hand on his shoulder, and he flinched, moving off the bed swiftly and facing her with renewed irritation. "You mean to tell me…all that time, you knew? And you never said a goddam thing about it?!?" His voice seemed to echo through the room angrily as he watched her fumble for the right words. Though she herself seemed to be gaining in agitation.
"Squall, what was I supposed to do? She was my friend. I don't fling my friend's secrets all over the place." Squall looked as if she'd stabbed him in the back. "Nice double standard, Selph." He grabbed his pants and angrily shoved them on, Selphie rushing out of the bed and yanking his boxers from the floor with an irritated grumble. "Squall, stop acting like a five year old! She asked me to shut my mouth about it. Who the hell was I to break you guys up?" He didn't respond in any way, only walked out the door and slammed it angrily, leaving a very disheveled Selphie in his boxers and shirt running out the door and trying to catch up with him. It was the sound of him punching the wall down the hall with amazing force that really pushed her over the edge. With an angry glint in her eyes, she rushed out of the room just in time to see her getting into the elevator. Where the heck was he going to go with no shirt anyway?
She saw the opportunity for what it was and swung herself quickly through the doorway to the stairs right across the hall. Squall might have been three times as strong as her, but there was a lot less to Selphie's body, making her much more agile and fast than he would ever be. She bolted down all three flights of stairs with ease and managed to walk out of the stairwell just as the elevator was arriving. When the doors opened, Squall had no where to go but straight forward into a very angry looking Selphie donning his shirt and boxers, both of which were about three or four sizes too big. It would have been comical, had the mood not been so tense.
"First off," she started as he sullenly walked out of the elevator and stopped a foot from her, "I'm gonna tell you something and I'm only gonna tell you once." Her voice dropped low, and Squall was surprised at the amount of passion in her voice. She was serious. "That sort of reaction is not the way to keep me around." She folded her arms, a gesture that reminded Squall of Quistis. His anger was seeping away slowly, and he felt more like a disgruntled little boy who wasn't getting his way. Selphie continued, arms still crossed. "You react like that one more time, and I'm gone. Violence never solved anything." Squall had to admit, there was something about her now that forced him to wonder. Was Irvine harsh with her? Why was she reacting so angrily? All he did was punch a wall…and probably woke up half of the hotel in the process. He nodded quietly.
"Now you're going to get back in that elevator and you're gonna listen to the rest of my story," she said softly. "And then if you don't like what I have to say, fine. But at least hear me out." Selphie felt like a broken record, but she hated it when people wouldn't give her the benefit of the doubt. It made her crazy. Squall went back into the elevator and Selphie followed, grateful for the near empty lobby. That would have been even more embarrassing had there been a few more people downstairs.
When the two were safely closed back in their room, Selphie resumed her seat on the bed and stared at Squall with an expectant look. He grudgingly took a seat next to her as she sighed. "Squall," she said softly, taking his hand, "listen to me. I'm sorry I didn't call you when I knew." He leaned forward slightly, rubbing the bridge of his nose with his free hand then leaning on his knee.
"I'm…I flew off the handle," he said stiffly. "Maybe that was the wrong reaction." Selphie nodded, entwining her fingers with his and scooting a little closer before she continued. "I owe you a big apology. If I could have stopped things from happening the way they did, I should have opened my mouth." Squall shook his head. "No, Selph," he said, still keeping his eyes on the floor, "you promised you'd keep her secret. If you'd said anything it just would have caused you more problems." Selphie cuddled close to his arm, resting her cheek against his toned muscles, trying not to grin.
"My big mouth gets me in plenty of trouble without exposing my friend's deepest darkest secrets." She chuckled a bit at that and was relieved when she felt his muscles relax. Squall shrugged, not feeling much better but not willing to keep up the anger anymore. "I dunno," he said in a hushed voice as he gently pulled his arm from her and slid it around her shoulders with a heavy sigh. "I'm…sorry Selphie." She looked up at him for a moment, so lost in his thoughts, and she wondered if Squall had ever managed to say those words before. She smiled up at him, gently turning his sad face to look at hers. "Don't worry about it," she said softly. "Just…try to talk to me before you go crazy, okay?" Squall looked into her eyes for a few moments before the small, shy smile crept it's way back. "Sure," he said, nodding. Selphie giggled, poking him playfully in the side, and for some reason Squall felt the last of his anger ebb away.
"So…now what?" she asked, closing her eyes as his fingers started their trek through her hair again. Squall shrugged, resting his chin on top of her head. "Not sure," he said thoughtfully. "You tired?"
She shook her head. "Nope. Not anymore."
Squall snickered, looking down into her eyes. "Well then that answers my question."