Cookies go to wow, Rhiannon, and Himitsu Honto! Now wait 24 days, spin around five times in a mud puddle, and sing all the songs from LotR you know and Legolas Greenleaf will deliver your cookie to you in person in the next 7,000 years. Anyone else want to join? REVIEW! You may get your own chapter.

Rhiannon had been watching the fellowship for a few days now, and was feeling rather annoyed. She was SUPPOSED to convince Cat that Legolas was a demon (*What is the M-E equivalence of demons? Does anyone know?*) but so far, she couldn't get close to the girl. Although, that handsome ranger was something else.

Cat knew they were being followed, she wasn't as stupid as everyone thought. A sudden noise behind her brought her snapping around.

"Please don't hurt me!" cried Pippin. "I was told to come over here and ask about you, you know, wound." She had been touchy about it lately, so naturally everyone was curious about it.

"Who wants to know?" she asked suspiciously.

"Well," responded Pip "Everyone, from Gandalf to Legolas." He was shaking a little

"Go get them," She said to poor Pip, "Elsewise, I'll be up to my ears in questions before the day is done." Pippin scuttled off to find the fellowship.

Himitsu Honto were arguing with Celenathil-the-Elf over who will get Legolas when Pippin came running in.

"Cat…will…tell…us…now!" gasped the hobbit. "Need…tell…Arag…orn…and…Leg…o…las! Will… you?" he was practically falling down from exhaustion. The two girls ran to get the men, and surround the grumpy woman.

"Well, now that everyone's here," Cat started, even though Legolas wasn't. "I'll start the story. It was me and my two best friends, Valison and Canandy. We can all take very good care of ourselves in the wilderness, but Cana (Canandy, pronounced Kan-a-lin-di or Kan-a, don't ask) ate a rotten mushroom and didn't feel well. Val, Valison (pronounced Vail-ion-nis-on) and I dragged her to a sheltered cave near Moria. Come nightfall, we were overtaken by orcs. The leader was an elf I recognized as being from Mirkwood. Val was gravely wounded, and I took an arrow in the shoulder. Val was lucky, the blade wasn't poisoned. I wasn't." At this point Cat closed her eyes and continued. "Cana was really sick in the middle of a battle, so Val climbed into the cave and took care of her, and it was just me outside defending the hole." Her eyes opened, blazing. "Orc poisoning was taking over, but I fought. Don't know how I lived, but I did. Come morning, Cana was better, Val got bandaged, and I finally got the stinking arrow out of my shoulder. We got to Rivendell without further mishap, but when we did Val and I had to be taken to the healers. Turns out Cana was pregnant, not sick. Cana stayed back in Rivendell, Val goes where Cana goes, and I … you know what happened to me." She groped for her waterbottle, only to find it was not there. Legolas had it, and waved it in Cat's face. She went to slap him, but he grabbed her wrists.

"Fine, have my wrists!" she croaked. She swept Legolas' legs out from under him, and twisted so that he was on the ground under her (*Not THAT way, pervert! Ewww, nasty, nasty gutter brain!*) and his throat was pinned under her forearms. Slowly she let him up. Legolas tried to take a drink of the water in the bottle, but found while he had been choking in Cat's grasp she had been stealing back her water.

"What's so insulting about a dress?!?" He asked the air.

"A dress can imply you thought I was weaker than you." Cat whispered in his ear. " You know the saying, '…wears the pants of the family.'? Well, I take that literally." She hadn't been really POed. Oh Eru, he didn't want to see her in a bad mood.