You Are So Infuriating!
Chapter Two
By OtakuChild
YAY! Chapter Two is up! Pranks! Pranks! YAY!! ahem on a bit of a sugar rush, this morning I absentmindedly posted without even writing an intro! AAH! I'm sorry! Anyways, it is fixed, so here we go!


Chapter Two: Prank Wars

"HOW DID THAT PHAROH GET OUR PHONE NUMBER?"
Ryou peeked his head out of the room. "It wasn't me, honest," he said, grinning.
Bakura stormed up the stairs and eyed Ryou, his face inches from that of his light. "Do you have any idea what just happened, little one?" He hissed, voice taking an even lower tone that it normally did.
Ryou broke into a fit of giggles. "Yes," he said. "Yami crank-called you with this voice full of helium!"
Bakura's eyes narrowed. "And you just happened to know this?"
Ryou couldn't stop giggling, but managed to stammer out an answer.
"I was - instant-messaging Yugi - on AOL - and - and he said - Yami - was gonna crank-call you!"
Bakura inched closer. "Just how did that Pharoh get our phone number if it wasn't you who gave it to him?
"I have it to Yugi, and he gave it to Yami!" Ryou burst into another fit of giggles.
Bakura was not amused in the slightest. He ran his fingers through his bangs. The action gave him a sudden idea. "I have to go and take care of something. If I come home and hear anything about that Pharoh, you will wish you never, ever gave our phone number to Yugi." He stalked down the stairs and out the door, and wouldn't return until the next evening. As for Ryou, he didn't stop laughing after his Aibou left until much later.

...The Next Afternoon...

Bakura looked at his clever trap. He tugged the rope to make sure it was tight, and checked the bathroom to make sure the rest of his prank was in place. Then snuck back downstaris, seeing as everything was perfectly built he left the Turtle Game Shop, and hid to watch his prank. Yami slowly opened his eyes and woke up from his nap on the couch. He groggily stumbled up the stairs to his room and opened the door.
He was greeted by a downpour of green slime. The rope Bakura had set up was connected to a bucket, positioned just above the door, which, when opened, dumped a rather generous about of goo on the victims head. Still in a bit of a stupor, he turned around and walked into the adjacent bathroom, and sat on the closed toilet seat to peice together what just happened.
"PHB-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-BT!!!"
A whopee cushion, placed precariously under the lid went off when Yami sad down. But that wasn't all that it did. The effects of the cushion made their way to Yami's nose.
"OH RA!! PEEEEW!" he screamed, and ran out of the bathroom. Bakura had taken the liberty of not just blowing the whoopee cusion up, but filling it with fart spray as well. Cursing in Arabic, he ran back into the bedroom. Something green reflected in the mirror caught his eye. He looked into the mirror.
While he had been sleeping Bakura had scribbled all over his face with a black Sharpie pen. To top it all off, his head was covered in neon green slime.
Now fully awake and realizing what happened, Yami screamed bloody murder. He stopped screaming when the sound of someone laughing brought his attention to the bedroom window.
Bakura was laughing his head off, perched on a tree branch looking directly into the second-story window. He was laughing so hard he had tears in his eyes. Yami shot him death glares.
"Oh, got you that time, I did!" he yelled, still laughing.
"You son of a bitch," Yami growled. "NobodyI mean nobody, messes with my hair."
"Yes, yes of course, they don't, but, you see Pharoh, I just did," Bakura snorted. "But I just don't see how you can protect your precious multicolored hair when you can't move."
"Wha-?" Yami went to take a step, but found that he couldn't move, on account of his shoes being glued to the carpet.
Bakura started laughing all over again. "Top that, Pharoh!" he gasped.
Yami used his shadow powers to knock Bakura out of the tree, freed his feet from his shoes, and headed off towards the downstairs bathroom to shower.
"Oh, top this? I will indeed, Laura Croft," He growled. Bakura landed hard on his behind with a loud thud.
"OUCH!" he roared.
He got up, looked back at the game shop with a grin, and started home.
Once there he was accosted by a very worried Ryou.
"Where the HELL have you been? You know how worried I've been? What in bloody crap were you doing, and why is there green slime on your pants? Wait! You didn't-" he stopped.
Bakura grinned like a cheshire cat.
"Just exacting revenge on the pharoh, my light."
Ryou let out a sigh. "Can't you just ignore him or something?"
"IGNORE HIM???" fumed Bakura. "After that damned email he sent me? You don't understand, little one. I'm calling his bluff."
"How are you calling his bluff?"
"The email he sent me was a means to scare me stiff, so that he wouldn't have to deal with me anymore. Th thought he could paralyze me with fear by stating what he did. He claims he hit the nail on the head, so to speak. I'm not going to let that happen!"
Ryou paused for a minute. He had read the email, so he knew what Bakura was talking about.
"Bakura, are you sure he was kidding? Maybe he really does have feeling for-"
"ME?" Bakura spat. "After that prank call, you really think the almighy-great Pharoh would have feelings for me? I don't have time for things like that. I'm a tomb robber-"
"Not anymore!" Ryou exclaimed. It was true. The fact that Ryou's dad was almost always on a business trip or dig gave Bakura a slight parental responsibility. Sure, Ryou was old enough to take care of himself, but Bakura kept an eye on him, making sure homework got done, or, when he went out, he took the cell phone, and called Bakura from time to time to check in and let his dark half know he was still in one piece. But the years of his past had hardened him to others, and for the good of the black market and business he never befriended anyone. There was also the fact that he had to keep to himself, for fear of getting turned in to the authoritites for all his tomb raids. There was the occasional relationship, of course, but they had ended badly, leaving Bakura heartbroken and hurt. As much as he refused to believe it, it did take a hit on his self-confidence. It was a side of him only Ryou could see.
"It doesn't matter, Ryou. Even if he did have some kind of...thing towards me I don't feel the same way, I don't care. He's an egotistic, arrogant ass, that Pharoh."
Before Ryou could answer him Bakura went up to his room and locked the door. Ryou let out a sigh, then went to start dinner.
Bakura flopped down on the bed and staired at the ceiling. In all actuality, the email really did scare him. It scared him a lot. But he just couldn't let Yami win. He would die before letting Yami see the email having the desired effect on him. Bakura had adjusted to the fact that he would most likely die alone, and that was okay with him. He'd just keep his guard up, and everything would be all right.
He couldn't let the pharoh know he was right. "YAMI!"
The voice of Yugi Mutou snapped Yami out of his trance.
"What is it, Aibou?" he said.
"Are you sick or something? Because I can't get within three feet of the upstairs bathroom without gagging."
Yami let out a sigh. "You can thank Bakura for that," he said.
"Oh." Yugi looked at his darker half. "Hey, why is there a spiral, a star, and a Kuriboh on your face?"
"You can thank Bakura for that too."
"Oh. Well, Grandpa called, he's going to be gone for another month, so I phoned in to get a pizza." Yugi's grandfather had gone on a business trip, which was taking longer than expected.
"Okay. I'll be upstairs in my room."
"'Kay," Yugi called as he ran down the stairs to finish his homework.
Yami went to his room, and walked to the dresser. He opened his sock drawer, but not before looking forlornly at the shoes which were still glued to the carpet. He took out a small box and turned it over in his hands. The box read, "Prankster's Super-Strong Itching Powder." He turned the box over again. The back read:
"Directions: Sprinkle a small amount on skin. DO NOT USE LIBERALLY. IN CASE OF EMERGENCY, WASH AREA WITH SOAP AND WATER. DO NOT INGEST. IN CASE OF ACCIDENTAL INGESTION, CALL A POISON CONTROL CENTER IMMEDIATLEY. DO NOT USE NEAR EYES OR NOSE."
An evil grin made it's way to Yami's face. "He thinks I can't top his little prank, but when I'm done with him he'll think twice before ever pouring slime on me again."

Bakura: ITCHING POWDER?
Me: Yes. A friend of mine got itching powder and fart spray for Christmas. I decided to use them in the fic.
Bakura: That's it! I'm going on strike!
Me: No you're not, because I am giving you a bribe.
Bakura: Nothing you pay me could make me come back.
Me: Not even Mr. Franklin? Waves pile of hundred-dollar bills
Bakura: Oooh, money goes into a trance
Me: And now that we have our main character back, here are the chapter questions:

How is the story so far?
What can we advertise?

That's all for now. Later everyone!
-OtakuChild