A/N: I got my first flame! I'm very happy! Now it will be posted at the bottom of this chapter and we can all laugh at their face!
Disclaimer: Jhonny The Homocidal Maniac and all related characters and trademarks belong to Jhonen Vasquez and Slave Labor Graphics (who I will one day work for). Do not think otherwise or this could turn ugly.
After the incident that had just occured a few minutes ago, Jhonny tapped the next person who was in front of him on the shoulder. It was the lady who had screamed when she saw the tangled mess on the floor. She looked at him with a look that said "What a freak!"
"Excuse me, but could you tell me how long this line-up is?" asked Nny, oh so politely. (A/N: And oh so totally out of character.)
"Um, just a few more people..." she replied nervously.
10 long minutes passed before Nny finally made it to the front.
"If you could just have a seat on this chair and roll up your sleeve for me, dear?" asked the old lady. Nny gave her a wierd look as to say "Roll up my sleeve? Expose my flesh to the world? Are you kidding?" But he did as he was told anyway. She smeared some yellow goop on his arm and stuck a needle in his arm. His face went all quirky.
"Ooooo... pain..." he thought. The pain only lasted for a moment. After the transfusion a guy walked up to him.
"Now for the best part!" He cried. "A cookie!" He handed Nny a cookie and a glass of juice.
"Thanks for donating blood!" said the old lady. "You could have saved a life!"
"Blood? Life saving?" Thought Nny. "Dammit! I thought this was a urine drive! It looks like I'm going to have to switch to plan B!" Nny got up from the chair.
A/N: What is Plan B? Find out next time in J.T.B.D.M.!
FLAME TIME!
This flame was so kindly donated by... Silverflashpup! She says:
This was...kinda stupid, really. There are a coupla things wrong with it(scroll
to the bottom to view the summary if you can't stand the dissection of your
story):rnrn1. Nny dosen't kill THAT fucking randomly. Jesus. He'd have enough
sense to yank off the pimp's headphones first and tap his shoulder again. No one
could think that getting abosorbed in a song was rude.rnrn2. Did Johnny tie the
guy into a knot in two seconds? One minute he's trying to ask him something, and
in the next sentence some woman's screaming bloody murder.rnrn3. "Two paramedics
took the guy away as two police man grabbed Nny's shoulders. rn"What's your
name, son?" asked one of the men as they stuffed a jelly filled donut into their
mouth.rn"Son? I am not your son. My name is Jhonny, if you really have to know.
But you can call me 'Nny.'" stated Jhonny." Nononononono. Allll wrong.rnrna. Why
is everything popping up outta nowhere? Did aforementioned woman create two
paramedics out of the air?rnrnb. If the
policemen had GRABBED his shoulders (which he probably would have killed them
for), why would one of them be carrying a jelly doughnut? That makes no
sense.rnrnc. Why, why, WHY does Johnny blurt out his name like that? It's not
like he'd want the fucking POLICE to know who he was.rnrn3. The flashback scene
also has high pettiness levels, but I suppose breaking Nny's window could send
him into a flying torrent of destruction and pain infliction. It passes by my
critisizm by the skin of its metaphorical teeth.rnrnSummary: Your fic is okay,
but it's not really that funny, it's kinda OOC, and some parts don't make sense.
Plus the title is clumsy-it dosen't roll off the tongue or show any level of
signifigance as yet.rnrnrnSo, there ya go.rnrnP.S. Thank whatever god you think
cares that you have good grammar or else I'd have to find you and strangle you
with your own intestines.
Well, Silverflashpup, I have something to say to that:
So sue me if I haven't read all of the books. I've read about 2, and have seen some pictures off of the internet. I don't own any of the books. Why? BECAUSE I'M 13 FUCKING YEARS OLD!!! I don't have the money and what are the chances of my christian parents buying me them? Zero. I'm lucky I'm getting the Robin Black DVD for Christmas. How do I read the books, you ask? My friend owns almost all of them! And I don't give a fuck if he kills off that randomly. How boring would it be to say "Nny simply yanked the earphones out of the guys head and talked to him." I needed a story line! And did I say Nny tied the guy up in 2 seconds? No, I do not think so. And did I say the police men grabbed Jhonny by the shoulders with both hands? No. And how many guys are named Jhonny? Is it really going to matter if he says his name is Jhonny? I know about 3 guys named Jhonny. And I know I'd feel pretty damn angry if someone broke my window. Geez. I'm just trying to live a normal life without killing off a popular soul while trying to maintain good grades to be passed on to high school. Mmkay? Oh yeah. Both your stories and your e-mail nearly put me to sleep. So don't think you're Queen of the fanfic world quite yet. Oh yeah, just a quick note about your profile:
"Note to the public: If you're nice, I like you. If you're mean without reason, go to hell."
Same applies here. Maybe you should take a little more consideration to your own advice and stop flaming people who are going to post flames on their fanfics. Mmkay?
That's it for FLAME TIME! Tune in next time folks when one of you ungreatful souls decide to flame my fanfic!