Stuck. Ever been there? Trapped between two lives, maybe more. Everywhere you go you have to put on a new face. And they expect you to be able to handle it; they expect you to deal with all of it. There's social life, school life, school work, family, boys, chores, and maybe a job.
Confused. Come on now, I know you've been there. It's called the "teen years." Trying to figure out a world that doesn't make sense to begin with. Trying to make sense of people who are impossible to figure out. People can drive a person crazy, and quite often do push people over the edge. You try to please all of them to get by in life, but pleasing one means upsetting another. Try fixing that one.
Trust? What is trust? Is it belief? Belief in the truth? There's no such thing. Try to follow me here: If an event, a story, or a person appears to be a certain way, you accept that as truth. Your truth is your opinion. Truth is appearance because, no matter what the "real" truth is, you're going to go on believing what you want until maybe when you are given a reason not to anymore. And that's just maybe. You'll continue to do the things you do, act the way you act, and think the things you think, based on the way you perceive things: your truth. Didn't your mother ever tell you not to trust appearances? Therefore truth, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. Whatever happened to not judging a book by its cover?
But life goes on, in its own semi-twisted sort of way. Don't get me wrong. I'm not one of those who hate life. On the contrary, I see it as quite the challenge. Sort of a surprise behind every door if you will. Well, at least some parts of life. Others you just have to accept as hopeless and move on to bigger and better things.
Enough spouting, I'm Lexi Donner. Gees, I hate that name. I'm 5'9'', 16 years old. I have dark brown hair that flips out at my shoulders. My eyes are deep brown. My friends call me all sorts of things: Lexi, Lex, Lexinator, but mostly Kiki (a nickname I acquired from Julia Roberts in "American Sweethearts"). If you're wondering what makes me think the way I do, boy are you in for a ride! My family would tell you not to bother trying to figure me out. "She's a teenager, they do this!" My friends would tell you, "That's just the way she is! She's Kiki!" But I know I think this way because of a strange but exciting conglomeration of life altering events that have found their way haphazardly into my life. You judge for yourself. But for now, to begin…
Everything started to happen as I got into high school. See, before high school. I was a quiet little girl. I kept to myself. I always got my schoolwork done, and always got good grades. I was the teachers' favorite. I never had many friends, although it was something I always wanted with my whole heart. Strangely though, I always had a best friend.
My whole life has been one big series of best friends. They never last because either I move schools of they mess me over. Let's see. I've been friends with Kristen since 3rd grade. But during my sixth grade year Kristen, very suddenly, moved to California. It was then that I became best friends with Christy Russo. We were attached at the hip, but halfway through eighth grade, Christy decided to be friends with my older sister Rebecca. Not just friends, best friends. Let me give you a hint: Rebecca was 16; she had her license and more male friends than I had ever hoped of having. Well, that was Russo for you. Good reddens. Although that was a terrible point in m life, it was okay at the same time, because it led me to being friends with a different Christy. Christy Jenkins.
Christy Jenkins and I were a rather interesting pair. Actually we met late one night because Christy called my cell, "Oops, wrong number!" But her accent evoked a conversation. See, Christy was Australian. Her father was getting married to an English woman who lived here in the States. Christy was living in an apartment waiting for the ceremony to take place. She was a freshman in high school, only a year older than me. We hit thinks off really well. We talked on the phone nearly every night, but always late, after everyone had gone to bed. We had four or five hour conversations about anything we wanted, and had an unconditional trust for one another from the start. But that all started to change as Christy became closer with her new English stepsister, Emily.
Well by this time eighth grade was nearly over anyway, and Kristen had moved back from California! So when a colossal fight broke out over Christy between Emily and me, I just went back to being best friends with Kristen. We never got to be as good of friends as before she left though. She had changed somehow in that short amount of time. And she seemed to be running with a different crowd. Never the less, it was my good old Kristen. The one who had rescued me when I was dangling from the "big kids" monkey bars way back in third grade.
Despite these and many other battles through various best friends I really was a pretty withdrawn girl. I played clarinet since fourth grade and was really quite good at it. But up until high school, band was just another easy "A" on my report card. However it's like I said: high school changed everything for me.