"Lisa!" Justin whispered loudly up to her bedroom window. "Liisaa! Wake up!" He huffed in the cool air and his breath was visible. Justin shifted from side to side as he waited for a sign. Any sign! No Light.. No nothing… "Damnit" he whispered to himself then began to search for a few pebbles in the wet grass.

Once found, he threw a few up to her window pane.

The light tapping of stones gathered Lisa's attention from her bed. " What the hell?" She rubbed her lazy eyes with a groan. Lisa stumbled over to her window to find out what was going on. From down below Justin took a few steps back as he saw the pale blonde gaze out her window then down at him. "Justin?!" Quickly she raised her window to speak to him. " Justin! What are you doing here?" She whispered.

Justin rolled the pebbles in his hand. "We-we need to talk Lisa.. I have to talk to you about something." he swallowed hard as he looked up at her. Lisa slightly shook her head. " Sure. But.. It's really late Justin. Can't this wait till tomorrow or something?" Justin shook his head no. " I've got to talk to you , now. It's important." Lisa padded on the window seal with her palm then looked at her clock. " Okay. .I'll be down in just a minute."

* * *

That same night Richard sat in his room alone… in the dark and in frustration. There was nothing he could do to turn back time.. He could only go forward but how? What was he going to do? Would Justin blab? Would everyone find out he was queer? He had never really heard anyone tell him he was gay ..that was, until Justin. 'You FAG!' Richard covered his face with his hands as he flashed back to Justin's outburst. " Oooh god.." He whimpered. Lisa didn't say it out loud. He had never said it out loud himself either. It was Justin that made it perfectly clear and hearable. But it was unbearable! Unbearable because the one he would be queer with wasn't queer at all…

The tears streamed down his cheeks as he fell back onto his bed and stared up at the dark ceiling.

" You're such… A.. MORON!" He pounded his fist by his side on the bed. " Fuck!" Richard sniffled his tears away. He couldn't cry like this! What was he thinking?! Just because he was gay didn't mean he had to cry too!.. He sniffed again, trying desperately to gather himself together. Be tough Haywood. Don't be a puss. C'mon on.. Don't do this… He was never that hot anyway…. Richard rolled over on his side tucking his arms close to his chest. "yes he was…" He choked out to himself. " And I wanted him…" He pouted out his thin bottom lip that was slightly quivering.

With glazed eyes he spotted his black lap top closed, untouched , and resting on his desk. Stupid piece of shit! That's where the problem was! Stupid Computer technology crap! Get rid of it! That's where all the truth lies.. No one knows anything! It would be Justin's word against his… Get rid of it! It's full evidence! Richard quickly jumped to his feet and grabbed his lap top. " I never wanted this stupid thing anyway!" Birthday gift. Ha.. More like Birthday curse! Richard gripped the sides of it as tight as his bony fingers could. He gritted his teeth with frustration too. "Arrrrgg… You.. Fuck!" Throw it out the window! Just do it! You'll feel better! All those feelings will break with the crashing of computer pieces.. Just do it! "I.. I Can't!" He coughed out. As he battled with his heart. " I can't do this…." His grip weakened. Those feelings wouldn't just disappear like magic! It wasn't that simple.. And he'd be wasting a perfectly good piece of something he could sell later or trade in…..

Richard did something he probably shouldn't have… he turned it on. While he waited for the screen to load he sniffed then licked his lips. Words weren't his best way of expressing his feelings but then again he couldn't make out with Justin so.. Writing would just have to do.. No one ever really listened to him anyway. Why would they? He's got everything he needs. A classic car, money, clothes, girls, popular friends, wit, charm, but the one thing he didn't have was …someone to care about him. Everything was just a lie. None of it was real. All plastic! He was wrapped in a plastic world and now he knew he had to break away.. It was time to be real. But how soon would that time come? When would it come? How could it come…?

He opened his word processor and began to type.

Dear Trader Of A Sorry Piece Of Shit Journal,

Time: 12:15 am

I almost threw this piece of shit away, You know that? Why did this have to happen?! He READ it! He Fuckin' read it and Christ! He called me a fag! I'm gay! Okay! I said it, well , I mean, I wrote it.. I mean, I typed it.. Damnit, whatever! I just announced it to myself. Okay. So there we go. I'm gay and I need to do something about it. I want him. I want him to want me back.. I need him, I've needed him since I saw him that first day at school. He was such a dork. I-I liked it. Thought it was kinda cute.. He needs someone like me.. Or I need someone like him rather.. I seriously thought that he might be queer to. He sure does look it. He's so… pretty. We'd be great together.. . . .

Richard stopped in the middle of his typing. Nothing he was writing seemed to come out that was good enough to keep him up all hours of the night. " Fuck this…." He was too sad to try and type positively about Justin…. Richard pressed the delete key then shut down his computer.

* * *

Lisa sat in the passenger seat beside Justin in his car. "Justin, why didn't you tell me sooner?" she said with a small smile. Justin felt a little flushed in the face as he confessed his feelings for Lisa. " I..I dunno," His brow crinkled as he looked at the steering wheel. " I guess, I was just afraid to. I mean, you were dating Richard." Lisa snorted. " Yeah well, that was before I found out he was…gay." Justin snapped his head to Lisa. She blinked in shock at how fast he was to react. "J-Justin.. Wow." She laughed nervously," You okay?"

He slowly relaxed. " Yeah.. I mean. I just.. I didn't know that that's why you two broke up." Lisa crossed her arms. " Justin, are we gonna talk about Richard.. Or are we gonna talk about….us?" She smiled softly. " Us." He replied. " Lisa… I need to kiss you."

Lisa huffed a short laugh. " Wow, I don't think anyone has ever approached me with kissing in that way before." Justin placed his hand over hers. " I'm serious.." She froze under his deathly cold touch. "O-okay Justin…" Justin then leaned in to give Lisa a kiss that would change things forever…..

To be continued!