"Wow—you really are a librarian at heart, aren't you?"
Giles looked up at his Slayer, eyebrows raised in his usual absentminded expression. "What? Oh, ah…" he smiled in mild embarrassment. "Well, I do have a bit of a penchant for esoteric lore, yes." From his seat at the table, he looked up into her intent face. "Are you alright?" he asked more seriously.
She smiled a bit, cocking her head to one side as if surprised that he had to ask the question. "Yeah, I really am, Giles. I mean, sure, there's a part of me that's a tiny bit sad everything's gonna be over—no more chocolate, or smoochies, or weird Indian TV—but there's another part that's really glad to be done with it all! All the problems, all the responsibilities, just—poof!—gone. I feel…free."
The expression on her face spoke eloquently to just how true that was. Giles didn't think he'd seen her act so carefree since…oh dear, probably since the first few weeks of her sophomore year, right after they'd first met, and he'd still thought her a careless and irresponsible teenager. How she's changed…
"Buffy…" he stuttered to a stop, not sure how, precisely, to voice his thoughts. "I know…I know there are times when I may seem…cold…and I'm…I'm sorry for that. We are all, of course, products of the culture in which we were raised, and…well, mine is a bit more…reserved than most. But…if the world is about to end, I…I want you to know…" He groped for words once again. Why is this so bloody difficult?!? "I want you to know that…almost since we first met, I have…I have thought of you as a daughter to me," he finally admitted, looking her in the eye with growing confidence. "And while you have caused me uncounted hours of worry and frustration, I wouldn't trade a moment of it away. I don't think I have ever…cared…more, for anyone…and I am certain that no one has ever made me prouder."
Buffy stood motionless for several seconds while her eyes filled with tears. Then she flung herself at her Watcher, wrapping him in an enthusiastic, Slayer-sized hug. Between sniffles, she said into his shoulder, "I love you, Giles…you've been the best not-quite-father any girl could ask for! Thank you…for everything!"
The Watcher closed his eyes as he felt his heart swell. "Thank you, Buffy. I—I'm honored."
They pulled apart and smiled at each other.
"So much for that stiff upper lip, huh?" she said with mischievous twinkle in her eye.
Giles suddenly discovered how difficult it could be to reassemble one's dignity while wiping tears from one's face. "Yes, well…it may a bit battered, but I think it'll hold for one more day."
"Yeah." Buffy idly ran her fingers over the leather binding of one of the books on the table. "Well, I'll let you get back to Happy-Research-Land…but you are coming to the Bronze tonight, right?" She knew the club wasn't his favorite hang-out, but it just wouldn't be right if the whole gang wasn't there, on the last night of the world. "I promise I'll make the DJ play something that's not just 'noise'…"
He smiled down at her again. "Of course, I'll be there. But I intend to hold you to that promise."
"Noted," she said, in a very bad imitation of a British accent. She stood there for a moment, then gave her Watcher another quick hug. "See you later, then!"
He watched her rejoin Dawn and Willow, who seemed to be engaged in some rather serious conversation. After all these years, she never ceases to amaze me… he mused fondly.
With a mental shake, he drew his mind away from its contemplation of
the many magical facets of his Slayer—his little girl—and returned to the
challenge of unearthing any further information on the Annealing from his
demon mythology texts.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
"You miss her, don't you?" Dawn asked softly.
Willow sighed. "Yeah. I mean, I love her…and it just feels so awful, knowing that she doesn't think she can trust me…and it's true, and it's all my fault," she finished miserably.
The brunette laid a hand on the red-head's arm. "You should go see her today."
Willow's eyes widened. "Oh…no, I couldn't…she doesn't want to see me…"
"Oh, baloney!" Dawn countered. "She loves you, too—she told me so! The two of you just need some space to deal with this magic thing. But, Willow," she continued more urgently, "Tara doesn't know about the Annealing! If she knew that we only have one more day of existence, don't you think she'd want to spend it with you?"
"Well, I don't…I don't know, Dawny. It's…complicated…" But even as she made her excuses, Willow's heart leaped at the thought of seeing Tara, even just once more, before everything ended…maybe telling her how much she loved her, and how sorry she was…
"It's just so hard," she said slowly, as if even those simple words caused her pain. "We love each other, and I know we can work, but…there's just this thing in between, and I don't know what to do, how to get around it…" She blinked back a solitary tear and swallowed against the tightening in her throat. "And now, all this," she waved a fluttering hand around the Magic Shop. "This is it, Dawn—the end of the world. Of everything. But there just some part of me that can't quite take it seriously, because it feels like my world ended this week, when Tara left…"
Now a few tears escaped, making their slow, solitary journey down the curve of Willow's cheek. Dawn immediately felt guilty for trying to push the red-head into a reconciliation she might not be ready for, and comfortingly wrapped her arms around the older girl's neck.
Willow hugged her back for a moment, then pulled away and nodded sharply to herself. Her chin came up and her shoulders straightened as she spoke firmly. "Yeah. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna talk to her. She's got as much right as we do, to know that 'the end is nigh,' right? And y'know," she went on, "whatever the afterlife is actually like, I don't think I could really settle in to enjoy it, if I still had this big, hairy thing hanging over my heart…"
Dawn favored the witch with one of the wise smiles that made her look so much older than her fifteen years. "I'm glad. I know she'll be happy to see you. And you never know," she said, with a mischievous glint in her eye. "Maybe she can come up with a few…interesting ways the two of you could spend your last few hours on earth…"
Willow blushed furiously, but was spared from answering by Buffy, who rejoined them after her chat with Giles. "So," she chirped, "you guys ready for some serious girl-time?"
She couldn't understand why the other two girls suddenly burst out laughing.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~