(a/n: This is a flashback that Hermione is thinking of while she's on the
roof... actually, the rest of the fic will be her flashback until the very
end. Forgot to mention that, sorry if I confused you!)
Tears flowing freely from her eyes, Hermione burst out onto the ledge of the Astronomy Tower, in desperate need to be alone. The fierce wind and torrential rain battered her face and billowed her robes around, but she barely even noticed. She just had to get out of there... out of the Gryffindor common room, away from Ron.
She heard footsteps following her, and, thinking it was Ron, she turned her head away sharply and told the person to go away.
"Surely you don't want to be out here all alone?" the person replied, but it wasn't the voice she'd expected.
She turned around and saw, not Ron, but Harry stepping out over the ledge towards Hermione. His robes were soaked through from the rain and clung tightly to his body. Hermione trembled as she watched him draw nearer, and only partly out of coldness.
"Look at you, you're freezing..." Harry said, pretending not to notice her silence and the look of dazed fright on her face. He wrapped his cloak around her to try to stop her from shivering, but since the cloak was as drenched as she was, it only hung heavily on her shoulders to no avail. Still, she clasped it around herself tightly in appreciation. She didn't have to ask how Harry got here - she could see a corner of the tattered, yellowed Marauders' Map sticking out of his pocket.
"Thanks," Hermione whispered, glad that the rain hid the tears she'd been shedding. "You didn't have to come here, though." Harry shrugged as if to say that following his upset friend out onto the highest ledge of Hogwarts castle in the middle of a rainstorm was no big deal.
"Tell me," he said patiently, giving her an attentive and understanding look, "why did you run out on Ron back in the common room? He's sitting there wondering why you reacted so... dramatically... when he suggested that you spend some time with him rather than study... he is your boyfriend, after all."
"Because..." Hermione took a deep breath, wondering how to voice the words that circled in her mind and caught in her throat. She opened her mouth again, and out spilled all the troubles and doubts that were plaguing her. "Because it showed that he doesn't really understand me. If he truly understood me, he'd know how important my education is to me, and how much I need to study for that Potions test. I mean, he says he loves me, and I think that I love him too, but I've always envisioned love as a sort of profound connection... and when I pictured myself in love, it was always with someone who I was on the same wavelength with, mentally. But it's not like that with Ron. And then it finally hit me that I don't really love him. Not the way he wants me to, anyway. If I really did love him, and if he really did understand me, we wouldn't be fighting so much. I'm sorry I reacted so strongly, but it was just like this explosion in my mind that set off so many things I've been denying for such a long time. I just wish I could find someone who loved me the way I picture love to be, but I don't know if that's possible... As a little girl, I grew up hearing all these Muggle stories about fairy tales and living happily ever after... but what if that kind of love doesn't exist, and I'm just chasing after an unrealistic dream? What if Ron really is the one for me, but I'm just pushing him away because he's not as perfect as I want him to be?" She'd been pacing around the perimeter of the rooftop as she spoke, but now she stopped in her tracks and faced Harry. She looked straight into his brilliant emerald green eyes as she said, "Do you think there are people who go through life without ever finding that kind of love?"
Harry just stared at her, startled at her sudden outburst. All the time he'd watched Ron and Hermione together - which had been just about a year, since Hermione had left Krum for Ron in the beginning of their fifth year - he'd had no idea of all the fears and worries building inside of her. She'd hidden them quite well. He'd thought she'd been happy, but now he'd seen all her unexpected emotions poured out right in front of him. He managed to say, "Maybe... but I don't think that will be you."
"But... do you think I should leave Ron?" Hermione asked, her bottom lip quivering as she asked such a bold question.
Harry didn't answer her directly. Instead he fidgeted with his glasses and said, "Ron's my best friend, and he cares about you so much. It would absolutely crush him if he lost you. But... you can't stay in an unhappy relationship just to keep him satisfied."
Hermione turned away from him and gazed at the sky above, as if searching for an answer there. "I don't know what to do." She muttered to herself. She turned back to Harry and said, "I just wish Ron could understand me... I need someone who's always there for me, someone who I can talk to about anything, someone like..." she couldn't stop herself; the words flowed from her mouth, "...someone like you."
Hermione stared past the round black frames of his glasses so that her hazel eyes locked with his luminous green ones, which were currently alight with bewilderment. Harry gulped and stared back at Hermione, surprised to be seeing her in a way he'd never seen her before. The rain made her hair cling to the sides of her face and shine like silk, her face was radiant, her cheeks were rosy with disarray, and she was still breathing heavily from her run out of the common room. Harry couldn't fathom why he hadn't noticed the beauty she possessed earlier. Forgetting the fact that this would only complicate things even further between Ron and Hermione, Harry instinctively moved closer to her, and in one swift motion, he leaned forward and gently pressed his lips to hers. And, to his amazement, Hermione kissed him back. The kiss was easy and natural, sweet and tender, and it awoke a deep craving inside of her - unlike anything Hermione had ever experienced with Ron.
Ron.
The thought of him jolted Hermione back to her senses, and she hastily broke the bond between her lips and Harry's.
If she could've spoken, she would've screamed shrilly, "I can't believe we just did that! How could we?!", but she was at a loss for words. So she just threw Harry's cloak to the ground and tore back into the castle without even looking behind her, leaving Harry standing there in a state of stupefaction.
Tears flowing freely from her eyes, Hermione burst out onto the ledge of the Astronomy Tower, in desperate need to be alone. The fierce wind and torrential rain battered her face and billowed her robes around, but she barely even noticed. She just had to get out of there... out of the Gryffindor common room, away from Ron.
She heard footsteps following her, and, thinking it was Ron, she turned her head away sharply and told the person to go away.
"Surely you don't want to be out here all alone?" the person replied, but it wasn't the voice she'd expected.
She turned around and saw, not Ron, but Harry stepping out over the ledge towards Hermione. His robes were soaked through from the rain and clung tightly to his body. Hermione trembled as she watched him draw nearer, and only partly out of coldness.
"Look at you, you're freezing..." Harry said, pretending not to notice her silence and the look of dazed fright on her face. He wrapped his cloak around her to try to stop her from shivering, but since the cloak was as drenched as she was, it only hung heavily on her shoulders to no avail. Still, she clasped it around herself tightly in appreciation. She didn't have to ask how Harry got here - she could see a corner of the tattered, yellowed Marauders' Map sticking out of his pocket.
"Thanks," Hermione whispered, glad that the rain hid the tears she'd been shedding. "You didn't have to come here, though." Harry shrugged as if to say that following his upset friend out onto the highest ledge of Hogwarts castle in the middle of a rainstorm was no big deal.
"Tell me," he said patiently, giving her an attentive and understanding look, "why did you run out on Ron back in the common room? He's sitting there wondering why you reacted so... dramatically... when he suggested that you spend some time with him rather than study... he is your boyfriend, after all."
"Because..." Hermione took a deep breath, wondering how to voice the words that circled in her mind and caught in her throat. She opened her mouth again, and out spilled all the troubles and doubts that were plaguing her. "Because it showed that he doesn't really understand me. If he truly understood me, he'd know how important my education is to me, and how much I need to study for that Potions test. I mean, he says he loves me, and I think that I love him too, but I've always envisioned love as a sort of profound connection... and when I pictured myself in love, it was always with someone who I was on the same wavelength with, mentally. But it's not like that with Ron. And then it finally hit me that I don't really love him. Not the way he wants me to, anyway. If I really did love him, and if he really did understand me, we wouldn't be fighting so much. I'm sorry I reacted so strongly, but it was just like this explosion in my mind that set off so many things I've been denying for such a long time. I just wish I could find someone who loved me the way I picture love to be, but I don't know if that's possible... As a little girl, I grew up hearing all these Muggle stories about fairy tales and living happily ever after... but what if that kind of love doesn't exist, and I'm just chasing after an unrealistic dream? What if Ron really is the one for me, but I'm just pushing him away because he's not as perfect as I want him to be?" She'd been pacing around the perimeter of the rooftop as she spoke, but now she stopped in her tracks and faced Harry. She looked straight into his brilliant emerald green eyes as she said, "Do you think there are people who go through life without ever finding that kind of love?"
Harry just stared at her, startled at her sudden outburst. All the time he'd watched Ron and Hermione together - which had been just about a year, since Hermione had left Krum for Ron in the beginning of their fifth year - he'd had no idea of all the fears and worries building inside of her. She'd hidden them quite well. He'd thought she'd been happy, but now he'd seen all her unexpected emotions poured out right in front of him. He managed to say, "Maybe... but I don't think that will be you."
"But... do you think I should leave Ron?" Hermione asked, her bottom lip quivering as she asked such a bold question.
Harry didn't answer her directly. Instead he fidgeted with his glasses and said, "Ron's my best friend, and he cares about you so much. It would absolutely crush him if he lost you. But... you can't stay in an unhappy relationship just to keep him satisfied."
Hermione turned away from him and gazed at the sky above, as if searching for an answer there. "I don't know what to do." She muttered to herself. She turned back to Harry and said, "I just wish Ron could understand me... I need someone who's always there for me, someone who I can talk to about anything, someone like..." she couldn't stop herself; the words flowed from her mouth, "...someone like you."
Hermione stared past the round black frames of his glasses so that her hazel eyes locked with his luminous green ones, which were currently alight with bewilderment. Harry gulped and stared back at Hermione, surprised to be seeing her in a way he'd never seen her before. The rain made her hair cling to the sides of her face and shine like silk, her face was radiant, her cheeks were rosy with disarray, and she was still breathing heavily from her run out of the common room. Harry couldn't fathom why he hadn't noticed the beauty she possessed earlier. Forgetting the fact that this would only complicate things even further between Ron and Hermione, Harry instinctively moved closer to her, and in one swift motion, he leaned forward and gently pressed his lips to hers. And, to his amazement, Hermione kissed him back. The kiss was easy and natural, sweet and tender, and it awoke a deep craving inside of her - unlike anything Hermione had ever experienced with Ron.
Ron.
The thought of him jolted Hermione back to her senses, and she hastily broke the bond between her lips and Harry's.
If she could've spoken, she would've screamed shrilly, "I can't believe we just did that! How could we?!", but she was at a loss for words. So she just threw Harry's cloak to the ground and tore back into the castle without even looking behind her, leaving Harry standing there in a state of stupefaction.