TOW The Inappropriate Teacher

          Ok, so this is an idea I've had for a while in my head. I just wanted to get it out now, since I've been writing. Plus I figured we could all use a break from my purely Monica/Chandler/pregnancy plots, although that really is my point here. It includes a bit more of the other characters than my other ones, imo. Well, I'll leave you to read and hopefully enjoy!

What You Should Know: Everything that happened in the past chapters still holds. Oh, assume that Monica and her mother made up on some level. I didn't take it any further b/c I didn't really feel it was that interesting, nor it is necessary for my later chapters. I just really wanted her to tell off her mother, and I've always had. I'm thinking that this takes place about two weeks after my last two chapters.

Disclaimer: I own none of these characters. I just borrowed them.

"So did you get your invitation?" Ross asked as Monica joined Rachel, Phoebe, Ross, and Joey, who were sitting around the orange couch in Central Perk.

"Yeah, wow, I can't believe Mr. Stevens is retiring!"

"I know!" Rachel agreed, "It feels like only yesterday when we were sitting in his American Studies class, doesn't it?"

"Yeah," Monica agreed as she stared into space, "Remember how he used to always tell us the answers to tests without actually meaning to?"

"I think I would've failed his class otherwise!" Rachel stated.

"Yeah, he was great. Shame I don't remember a thing he taught us," Ross recalled.

"But he was the sweetest man I've ever met," Monica stated, "So are you gonna go?"

"Yeah! Why wouldn't I?" Ross asked enthusiastically, "I mean how popular will I be…I'm the father of Rachel Green's baby!"

"Oh, so I'm just some sort of prize to you?"

He stuttered, "nnnooo….I…I…gotta go, see ya later!" He stated as he ran out the door. 

"I can't wait to go! You gonna bring Chandler, Mon?"

"I dunno…I don't think I'm gonna go."

"What? Why not?" Rachel asked shocked.

"I just don't want to relive past memories, okay?"

"Well, will you think about it?" Rachel begged, "For me?"

"Why? You're not going to talk to me there anyway. It'll be like old times!"

"No, no, it won't. Please?"

"I'll think about it."

"Oh thank you, thank you, thank you!"

"So…Mon," Joey began seductively, "Wanna bring me along?"

"No, if I'm going to bring anyone, it's going to be my husband. Since it's on a weekend, he'll be home."

"Ok fine," Joey said insulted. He then changed his tone back to seductive, "So Rach…wanna bring me…"

"Yeah right!" Rachel interrupted before he could finish.

"Damnit," he stated and then pointed his finger at Monica and Rachel, "You Jefferson High kids are mean!"

"Joey, we didn't go to Jefferson High, we went to Lincoln High," corrected Rachel.

"Oh right," Joey looked away, embarrassed, "I was just watching the Jeffersons, and both were presidents…"

"Wow, you knew that Jefferson was a president?" asked Monica, shocked.

"Hey I know a couple of things!" Joey defended, "Plus it was on the back of a juice box once."

"You go Joey!" Phoebe enthused, "If they're gonna be all mean about it, then we'll just start out own elite club."

"I dunno," Joey said skeptically, "Who would be in it?"

"Well us," Phoebe began listing, "And anyone else you want to bring."

"How about some hot girls and…oooo Chandler! He's funny and I'll make him buy us beer!"

"No," Phoebe whispered harshly, "He's married to one of them."

"Ohhh…Well, what if they got a divorce? Then they wouldn't be married."

"That's ok, I guess."

"Hey!" Monica butted in, "We're not getting a divorce."

"Yeah, that's what you think," Phoebe whispered. Monica gave her a harsh look, but turned away.

          "Come on Mon, you should go," Rachel whined to Monica while she was on the phone.

Monica covered up the mouthpiece and whispered harshly "Shh…can't you see I'm on the phone?"

"Yeah, but it's only Chandler. He'll understand. Oooo…Chandler?" Rachel said as she turned on the speakerphone.

"Hey what the hell?" Monica yelled, but Rachel ignored her.

"Tell Monica you want to go to the retirement party with her!"

"What retirement party?" He asked.

Monica waved her arms at Rachel, "She didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

"About the retirement party for our old teacher Mr. Stevens. We were all invited."

"You should go Mon," He stated, "It could be fun."

"Yeah, show off that you're pregnant AND married! Unlike me." Rachel agreed.

"I don't know," Monica contemplated, "Fine, I'll go. But Chandler has to come with me."

"What? Why does Chandler have to come with?" He asked, his voice squeaky.

"Well, I am carrying your baby!"

Chandler relented, "How long do I have to let you use that excuse?"

"Until you can have babies," she stated firmly.

"So, I'll be looking forward to this retirement party," Chandler stated unenthusiastically.

"Good, I love you."

"You should."

"Bye."

"Bye." Monica pressed the off button of the phone and looked down sadly.

"Aww," Rachel cooed, "You miss your husband, don't you?"

"Yeah," Monica looked away sadly.

"Does someone need a hug?" Phoebe asked, as she wrapped her arms around Monica.

"Don't forget me," Rachel called out and joined in.

 While they were hugging, Joey walked into the apartment. "Score!" he said as he looked at the three hugging girls.

"Shut up Joey!" The three women yelled together.

Ross looked around the school gym and said, "Wow, this place really hasn't changed."

"Yeah, Rachel paused to look around, "I can't believe that they're having his retirement party in this smelly old gym!"

"I can't believe I couldn't find a date," Ross whined.

"Well, you got to bring me!" Phoebe cheered as she grabbed a martini, "I don't have to make my separate club anymore."

"Phoebe, please don't get too drunk," Ross pleaded, "I don't need you embarrassing me."

"Well!" Phoebe said, insulted, while drowning down her martini.

"I couldn't find a date either Ross. I mean, I had to bring Joey!" Rachel complained.

"Hey, I'm an excellent catch!" he defended, muffled, as bits of food flew from his mouth, "Sorry."

Rachel rolled her eyes and then pointed to the left, "Look Mon, It's that bitch Nancy Branson!"

"Great, and the fun begins" Monica said sarcastically, as Rachel grabbed her arm and dragged her around the gym.

          Chandler sat at the table, with boredom written plainly on his face. Joey approached him and said, "Dude, there are some hot chicks here! Shame you can't get any."

"I wouldn't be able to get them anyway, even if I was single."

"True," Joey agreed as he left Chandler sitting alone. Next Phoebe came up to him, in a complete drunken state. "Hey Chhhhndler" she began, "What kind of name is Chhhhhndler?"

"It's Chandler, for one thing," he corrected, "You know what? Never mind."

She slowly wobbled away, as Chandler looked away, pretending not to know her.

"So, bored?" Monica asked as she sat down next to Chandler.

"No, not at all," he replied sarcastically.

"I'm so bored, too!" she complained.

"Really?"

"Yeah, these people are stuck up. I hated them in high school, and I still do."

"Well Rachel seems to be enjoying herself," he said as he turned to look at her surrounded by a group of ten people.

"My point exactly. The stuck up people." Monica explained, "She she's not like that when she's around us. They bring it out of her."

"I see."

"I'm gonna give it another half an hour before we go."

"Good, and by half an hour you don't happen to mean two minutes?"

An overweight man walked up to Monica. "Why if it isn't Monica Geller? Aren't you one sexy woman!"

"Shut up, Jason," She said as he walked away, dejected. "People keep doing that to me!" Monica complained, "It's so annoying."

"Yeah, I'm sure it's annoying to be hot," Chandler quipped.

Monica ignored his statement. "Oh, it's Mr. Stevens!" Monica enthused, as she caught his attention.

"Why hello miss," he said while looking Monica over, "And who might this pretty lady be?"

"She might be my wife!" Chandler answered.

Monica patted Chandler's arm, and then said to Mr. Stevens, "It's me, Monica Geller. Well, Bing, now."

"Wow, you look a lot sexier now! If you looked like that 15 years ago, I would've done you in my closet!" he stated, extremely drunk.

"Hey, don't talk to my wife like that!" Chandler yelled.

"It's my night, don't talk to me like that!"

"If you weren't so old, I would pound you," Chandler said under his breath.

Incredibly insulted by Mr. Stevens behavior Monica tugged Chandler, "Let's go…now!"

          Once they returned home, Monica sighed as she kicked off her shoes and sat down on their bed. "I knew it was a bad idea to go tonight."

"Hey, I'm sorry."

"Nah, it's okay. High school really sucked, but my life after it wasn't so bad."

"How bout now?"

Monica kissed him on the nose, "It's perfect."

"Good, because I feel the exact same way."

They began to kiss patiently and Chandler laid Monica down on the bed and got on top of her. (And I'll leave it like that b/c I'm under-aged and this fic is PG.)

          Later that night, Phoebe stumbled into Monica and Chandler's apartment, still drunk from her excessive intake of alcohol. While walking in the darkness of the living room, she fell over the sofa.

"Who's there?" Chandler yelled as he grabbed a book and ran out of his bedroom in his robe.

"It's me, Phoebe! You're gonna hit me with a book? You know if I were a robber or murderer, I'd have you unconscious or dead at this very moment." Phoebe continued teasingly, "Oh and your robe is open…I can see your thing!" Chandler walked back into his room, extremely embarrassed.

"Uh-huh," Phoebe smiled as she fell back on their sofa.

Ok, well there was my 5th chapter. Wow, I'm surprised I made it this far. I wasn't planning on writing another one today, but I did. I'm hoping I'll have time to write during the week, in between my homework, but we'll see. Ok please read and review! Thanks :)