TOW The Hidden Fears

       I'm back for my 6th chapter. I was going to wait to see if I would get more reviews, since I just recently posted chapter 5, but to my luck, I'm home sick. I hate having to miss school, when there actually is school, that is. I mean vacation days are wonderful. However, when I miss for sickness, there's so much work to make up! It really sucks. I should probably be resting, but every time I lay down, I feel worse, so I'm not. Ok well enough about me being sick. I hope you enjoy this next chapter. Please read and review!

What You Should Know: Yet again, everything holds from the other chapters. This takes place like a week after my last one. The time span I'm using is probably not very accurate for real life, but hey, that's the beauty of fiction!

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters; you know how it goes.

 Resent

Chandler woke up from his sleep and looked around. He noticed the clock saying 5:30 AM and that Monica wasn't in bed. He got up, groggily, and went into the living room.

"Mon?" he called, searching for her. He then looked at the closed bathroom door and realized that she was inside. Hearing her gagging, he slowly opened up the door, wordlessly walked in, and held back her hair as she threw up.

"Chandler…" Monica began, but was cut off by another wave of sickness. Once she felt slightly better, she got up to brush her teeth and then turned to Chandler, "You really didn't have to stay."

"I know, but I wanted to."

"You wanted to watch me throw up?"

"No, not that. Believe me. But, I feel like…I'm the father, so all I really have to do is donate my 'contribution to the cause' and then my part's…well over until the baby's born. It's not fair that you should have to go through all this, while I feel perfectly normal. If you're going to be up puking, then I'll be there, too." She smiled at him, and then he continued, "Plus, I owe it to you, since you watched me throw up when I ate that green stuff that Joey made."

"Yeah. And unfortunately, I had to watch Joey throw up, too."

       Later that day, Joey entered Monica and Chandler's apartment, sat down at the table, and grabbed some leftover lasagna from the refrigerator.

"Joey!" Monica yelled as she exited from her bedroom, "Don't eat out of dish, damnit! Why do you always have to do that?!"

Joey was hurt by Monica's lose of temper, and then at her refusal to apologize. Chandler, who had been watching the scene unfold from the living room, tried gently, "Mon, he didn't mean anything by it. I'm sure he'll use a plate next time."

"Ohhhh," Monica remarked sarcastically, "Mr. Calm and Collected is here. Trying to 'keep his wife in order', huh? Well, why don't you have a baby inside of you, and then tell me 'he didn't mean anything by it.'"

"I'm really sorry Mon," Joey said, frightened by her outburst.

"Yeah, well, save it. I'm going to sleep." With that, she walked out of the room.

       "Hey Chandler," Rachel greeted the next day, as he picked up his cup of coffee and sat next to her on the orange couch in Central Perk.

"Hi, what's up?"

"Nothing. Oh, I've been meaning to ask you, what's up with Monica?"

'What do you mean?"

"Well, she's been acting really distant lately. Plus, when I can over to borrow some sugar, she almost bit off my head telling me I should knock first."

"I agree," Ross, who was sitting on the other side of Rachel, added.

"Yeah, so do I. I seriously have no idea. I can't even ask her because whenever I try, she's either sleeping or blaming it on 'hormones.'"

"Maybe it really is hormones," Ross pointed out.

"No, I don't think so. I mean, it could be, but neither Rachel nor Phoebe acted like she is now. I mean, one minute they were miserable, one minute they were sad, the next happy…"

Rachel cut Chandler off, "Yeah, ok, I know, I was there!"

"Right," Chandler agreed, sheepishly, "But with Monica, she's been consistently angry."

"So, she's been acting that way all the time?" Ross questioned.

"Yeah, pretty much." Chandler added sadly, "I don't know what to do. This pregnancy and me being in Tulsa has made things really hard."

Rachel's eyes lit up at her revelation, "Maybe that's why she's so upset!"

"What?" Ross asked, confused.

"Because I've been away," Chandler explained, upset that he was the cause of Monica's pain. "I hate this!"

"Hate what?"

"Being away from her and being the cause of her pain. I just feel so conflicted!"

"How so?" Rachel asked, concerned.

"Either way I become a bad father and terrible husband," he thought aloud.

Ross and Rachel looked at him, puzzled, so Ross asked, "What are you talking about?"

"Look…if I continue to live mostly in Tulsa, I abandon my family, but make a good living for them. But if I live in New York, I stay with my family, but don't make enough money for them because I'd lose my job!" The overwhelming emotions of guilt got to him, as ran his fingers through his hair, "Either way, I'm going to ruin everything."

"No, that's not true!" Rachel assured him.

"Yeah, Mon knows that being in Tulsa is something that you have to do. Plus, it's only a temporary thing. Hopefully, by the time your kid is born, you'll be back in New York."

"Yeah, well I can't live on hope. I've been trying my hardest to get my job in New York back, but the only way I can do that is if I find a suitable replacement for my job in Tulsa."

"And you haven't been able to?"

"No! They shoot down everyone I bring to them."

"Well," Rachel started, "Maybe next time, you shouldn't fall asleep in a meeting."

"Thanks," he said sarcastically as he got up to leave, "I'll try to figure out something."

       Later that week, Monica was in her living room, watching television, with the lights out. It was around midnight, but Monica was having trouble sleeping. Suddenly, she heard a key go into her lock and saw the doorknob twist, so she docked under the sofa, in fear of who was entering her apartment at such a late hour. When the man walked in, he looked around, being careful not trip over anything.

Monica poked her head up surprised, "Chandler?"

Chandler jumped and tripped over one of the kitchen chairs. "Oh my god Monica, you scare the crap out of me!" Getting up from the floor he asked, "W..w..what are you doing up? I didn't see you."

"What are you doing home?"

"Don't answer a question with a question," noticing that she looked anything, but pleased with his comment, he continued, "I have a surprise for you."

"Yeah?" she asked, not very interested.

Her lack of enthusiasm was unsettling to him, but he continued despite that, "I got my job back in New York!"

"Really?" Monica asked, not believing what he was saying.

"Really."

She smiled slightly and hugged him, and then added, "Well, I'm gonna go to sleep," she said, as she made her way to their bedroom.

Chandler sighed, "Your still upset. I thought that was why you were upset, but I guess not." He begged her retreating figure, "Please talk to me."

Monica, noticing the concern in Chandler's voice, turned to face him. "I've been a real bitch lately, haven't I?"

Chandler looked at her for a second and said, "I don't think I should answer that."

"I have been."

"Well, you did yell at Ross because his hair was bothering you."

Monica looked down at her feet, ashamed at her behavior.

"Tell me why you've been acting like this? This isn't the Monica I know."

"I know, I know," she answered, holding back tears, "It's just, I'm just…I'm gonna go to sleep."

"No, please don't!" Chandler begged as Monica began to close up again, "I'm your husband. You can tell me anything. Is it me? Do you want me to leave?"

"No, no, of course not," she answered hastily.

"Then what is it?"

Monica paused for a few moments, staring into Chandler's blue eyes, which were full of concern and affection. Finally, in a low whisper she admitted, "I'm scared."

"Scared of what?"

"Of messing up; of hurting our child. I'm scared, no terrified, that our baby will grow up to resent me, like I resent my mother!"

"I had no idea you felt this way. I wish you would've told me."

"I know."

"If it helps at all, things are going better between you and your mother, now that you had that 'incident'."

"I know, but I don't want to have to wait that long before my child can love me."

"You know, your nothing like your mother. You're caring and compassionate. I've seen you with Ben, and it's amazing how much he loves his aunt. Oh and Emma-was it not you who was the only one able to stop her from crying? Children love you because you're such a kind and gentle person. Believe me, you are the total opposite of your mother."

A small smile made its way onto Monica's lips, and at the sight of her smile, Chandler let out a sigh of relief.

"You wanna know something?" he asked gently.

"What?"

"I've been having the same feelings as you."

"Really?" Monica asked shocked.

"Yeah, well I tried to talk to you, but you were always…too tired."

Monica looked away, and Chandler continued to talk, "I'm just glad you opened up to me. It's scary to not know what's bothering the woman you love."

Monica moved towards where Chandler was sitting on the sofa, and snuggled next to him as he wrapped an arm around her.

"Thanks,"

"No problem. Believe it or not, once in a while, I am useful for something other than sarcastic comments and sex, babe."

Monica hit him on the shoulder and then agreed, "Well you are very good at both those things."

Chandler answered, "So I've heard."

Ok that's my 6th chapter. Hope you enjoyed reading it. Please leave a review. Chapter 7 should be up shortly. :)