Disclaimer: Man, these are annoying. Anyway, I'm sad to say that I don't own a single noun in this story. Too bad.

Anyway, I think the same things go. Gandalf continues to conjure curses while I provide him with all of the tacos he can handle. {Thank goodness for Taco Bell} If you don't review, Gandalf will cast his taco enchantment on you and the kangaroo will have to get off of his lazy, taco-eating butt and hunt you down. Please review. The wizard and creature are getting taco crumbs all over my couch. =_=

*Sigh* Yet another:

Jen's POV

When Gandalf opened the dinning room doors, the hobbits stopped eating and lifted their heads in curiosity at the new arrivals to the dining crew. It didn't last long, for when they saw no possible treat, they continued shoving their faces again. Gandalf claimed he was not hungry, and merely sat and watched, asking questions here and there. There was some great food there, but mostly dairy. I was lactose-intolerant. So I had only sampled a "sandwich", a slice of deer {Poor deer} between a split biscuit. I noticed Liz eating some sort of custard that looked delicious. "Yo, does that have-" She cut me off, "Do I look like the cook? You asked me that same question for every item of food I've eaten. Ask one of the servants!"

"Excuse me," I said, motioning towards one of the servants. "Yes?"

"Does this contain any lac -" Liz butted in, "milk."

"Why, yes," she answered, "Goat milk, lime juice, and some sugar cane."

"Thank you," I answered, grimacing a bit as Liz gagged from the mentioning of goat milk. 'That's one more item off the menu,' I thought. "Do you know what doesn't have any milk?" I questioned. "Well. . .there's rice and noodles and some of that duck over there," she began listing off dishes on the table, and I made mental notes.

"Okay, thank you," I called out as she hurried to some of her tasks. "You two should really eat more," piped Merry, "did you not eat enough at your home?" He was right. Both Liz and I were a bit thin compared to some of the other girls at our school. We were both on the soccer team; Liz signed up, while my dad signed me up. He wanted to make a son out of his daughter; tried to make me a tomboy. I'm the brains. Liz is the brawn. Well, she's just good at soccer. I don't know how strong she is. But I'm still the brains.


I ate a bit more, ignoring Gandalf until he finally took a hint and went away. We chatted with the hobbits a bit more, since they were the only ones who weren't judgmental, then left the dining room to venture the Elf haven. After wandering about Rivendell and chatting about the things that weren't in Middle-Earth {Videos, games, video games, popcorn, etc.}, we began to notice that the Elves were giving us funny glances. It hit me like a ton of bricks. Where are we going to get some. . .uh. . . "normal" clothes. Capri pants and tank tops weren't exactly "in style" here. Ponchos and tunics were. First I though about jumping one of these Elves and taking their clothes, but we might get in trouble. We could raid Elrond's dresser, but his clothes were too big and we didn't even know where we were (or Elrond's room was).

My thoughts were interrupted when I heard Liz scream. My body tensed and adrenaline began pumping, ready for orcs or trolls or evil stuff that maims, kills, burns and/or destroys. All I saw were two Elves talking gibberish, or maybe Elvish, about 50 yards away. I saw Liz halfway there, sprinting like a jackrabbit, and I know one thing. Straining my eyes (she must have some sort of sixth sense or something), I saw that it was Legolas talking with some Elf, probably to send a message to his father to tell him not to expect him home for dinner. I saw Legolas take out a knife a ready himself for the attack, but Liz was already upon him. Liz was sitting on top of Legolas, trying to rip off his poncho for her personal collection, with the messenger trying to save his prince. Just as the messenger whipped out his bow, I tackled him. Not very hard, because he only wavered and watched me fall to the ground.

"Wait! Don't shoot her!" I cried out, trying to save my friend from becoming skewered. He wavered a bit, but aimed his arrow and fired. My first thought was actually a vision. A vision of me telling Liz's parents "She got shot by an Elf. She was trying to rip off some guy's clothes and was shot by an arrow."

Fortunately, she was thrashing about so wildly trying to get Legolas' robe off, that the arrow missed her; by a mile, actually. The arrow ripped through Legolas' poncho, causing Liz to fall backwards. I was furious with the messenger. And Liz. "LIZ!" I screamed, "Want are you doing?! You could've gotten yourself killed" My scolding didn't have any affect; she just sat on the ground, a rapturous look on her face while stroking the piece of cloth. Legolas rose and grabbed his knife again, putting it near Liz's throat. "The following time you attack me, I will kill you," he hissed, rightfully fuming after all of the attacks towards him. Liz looked terrified, but she still seemed happy that he was that close to her. He pulled the knife away and turned to leave, pulling of the remainder of his robe and motioning towards the messenger to follow him.

"See! You nearly got yourself killed twice today. Twice. Imagine if you actually went on the dumb quest. You'd be dead before you took three steps."

"I'm not totally helpless. I got this." She replied, holding up the piece of cloth she had been stroking for the past two minutes. "Besides, who said we weren't going on the 'dumb quest'? We just might follow them."


"You have completely lost your mind, haven't you?! First of all, neither of us have had any battle experience, nor do we know how to handle a weapon. Should we see an orc or a troll or a balrog or that freak of nature that skewered Boromir {Yes, I believe his name is Lurtz}; we'd get our heads chopped off, limbs thrown aside, hearts punctured, livers eaten, and whatever else evil creatures and wizards of darkness do to their captives. Second of all, you have some pronoun trouble. I am not going on the journey," I raved, hoping to put some sense into my strong-headed friend.

"That's why the warriors have the weapons. Aragorn can kick some serious orc and Ring Wraith butt. And *sigh* my love can kick some serious cave troll butt."

"Your 'love' just promised to kill for your outrageous behavior. You have got to stay sane enough to continue living. He doesn't look like a guy who bluffs for the sake of it."

"What's wrong with going on the magical quest?" she asked with a flourish of her ballet. "It isn't that great. None of this is in the movie. By coming here, we may have set a time rift causing total chaos. Thanks to us, well, mainly you, good may not prevail! Sauron and his evil forces may be victorious and everyone will be enslaved forever." I finished with a deep sigh, realizing that fate does not always come in favor of good will.

"That's why we're going," Liz exclaimed triumphantly, though not accomplishing anything. "You seriously have some pronoun troubles," I retorted. "You can go if you'd like, but I'm not going."

"And what will you do?" she questioned, becoming an annoyance. I opened my mouth several times before answering, "I'll live"

"You can 'live' all you want, but I'm going to pass the time. I'm not going to join the Fellowship, pursay; I'm going to make sure they 'live' too. *fake sob* Even if it means giving up my love's companionship."

"What are you saying?" I dared to ask. "We will draw the route for them. Make sure Gandalf and Boromir don't die, and guide them on a swift journey to the triumph of peace and justice, and the good of all man-, elf-, dwarf-, and hobbit-kind" she answered, standing proudly. If this were television, she'd have an American flag waving behind her.

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Words of advice and constructive criticism are greatly appreciated.